Transcripts TikTok:@growingwithleong

View the original TikToks at: @growingwithleong TikTok channel

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Date: 2026-09-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7687922102766177544?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The Humble Posture | Reflection 412

From a young age, I was taught to present myself to hold the power position. Let me show you. It means to sit up straight to and shoulders back and chin up. It’s to look confident, take up space. That’s how we present ourselves for success and to lead. It is a posture that’s is taken by many people in boardrooms and politics and even in sports, in public speaking. But is it really a posture we wanna take? Is it, does it really show what being a successful human being is? Because it’s not a posture that allows me to hold a baby. It’s not a posture to take when my child is hurt or injured and I wanna attend to them. It’s not a posture to take when somebody is telling me something important and I want to listen. It’s not a posture to embrace, to hold someone who needs to be held. And it’s not a posture to pray. So much of human life revolves around having a humble rather than a power posture. The most confident posture I think I can take is one of humility, when I can bend myself to let somebody in.

Date: 2026-09-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7685755912266599697?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Showing up | Gratitude 511

I was doing a fundraising event today and doing it gave me some insights as to why people get so attached to social media influencers even though a lot of influencers don’t seem to be doing anything significant. The fundraising event was to raise funds to support a homeless meal and I was helping encourage passers by on the streets to donate to this cause. It’s a worthwhile cause and the money goes to something that’s that’s very needed. But what I found was that it was very hard to get attention of passers by on the streets. I can understand why people tune out. I act like that myself a lot of times. You know that feeling when you’re going from one place to another and in front of you are strangers wanting you to see them, to hear them, to care about something that they’re saying to respond to what they’re doing. Just to survive I tune them out, just keep my head down and walk straight on. It’s just a survival mode for me. Which brings me to social media content creators or influencers. Influencers comes in all shapes and sizes. I myself follow all sorts of influencers. Some of them are fun, entertaining and some are skillful or they do interesting things but most of them are quite boring if I’m being really honest. I can’t really say what a lot of major influencers, what are they really good at? What Is consistent though between all of them is that they show up regularly and without fail on my feed. And because they show up, a parasocial bond happens between them and I. To me, social media is totally about parasocial relationships. That’s the way I see this space. The question for me is whether these relationships are being used for something worthwhile. Let me ask you a question. What do you think is the fundamental characteristic that every parent on every parent on the planet must have is as a precondition to bond with their children? I think it is the basic thing of showing up. No matter how short or funny looking or annoying I am, my children and I will bond if I show up. And that’s why it is so hard to get the attention of strangers on the streets. That’s why I myself tune out strangers trying to get my attention. If someone only appears when they want something from me and is absent at other times, I think quite reasonably I would ignore them. Perhaps if I want people to care about what I care about, I first have to show up often enough to learn what they care about. Maybe that’s true of influences and parents and communities of any kind. It is true of anyone who wants to make a difference in another person’s life. So what do you care about and who shows up for you often enough? And Long enough to care about what you care about. Who do you show up for often enough and long enough to show that you care about them.

Date: 2026-09-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7683372915718507784?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
When the bedroom door closes

IMAGE

Date: 2026-09-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7680760054034763015?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Fame and Fortune | Reflection 410

Is it wrong to want fame and fortune? Sometimes I watch my children grow and see how excited they are to perform their music and dance, how much they work on their skills and their abilities at school and how much they achieve and how happy they are with what they achieve. I wonder if all those roads lead invariably to being famous and having a lot of money. Is it wrong to want to have those things? I don’t know. I don’t usually find the answers to questions like this by thinking about them as right or wrong, as moral questions. There are a lot of things that morally we should do that we don’t and a lot of things we shouldn’t do that we do. Somehow what is morally right or wrong don’t turn out to be what we end up doing. I don’t think people are by nature born to want fame and fortune. If I put a baby in a room full of cash, I don’t think I’ll get much of a response. But if I am in a room full of cash, I do have a response somehow. Between my birth and now being 57 years old, the world has trained me to have a response to fame and fortune. But it isn’t really fame and fortune I’m after, is it? I want fame because I want to be seen and heard and people to recognise me and want to be with me. I want Money because I want to be secure and be free to do things to make myself significant in the world. These are human needs. And funny enough, fame and fortune can’t give me those in ways that they promised to. If there’s a hole in my life, fame and fortune won’t fill that hole, but it doesn’t stop me or anybody else from trying. Invariably, my kids, just like when I was young, still look to become famous, look to earn lots of money. Like my nephew said, he doesn’t need much. 1 billion will be enough. I think it is futile to try and stop them wanting it. But perhaps what I can do is have an environment for them where they can see there are more things that makes life worthwhile, like relationships, like people who love each other without the influence of success or titles or wealth. They are quite satisfaction of doing things for ourselves and others without needing it to be made known and to make things for the sake of making things or just belonging somewhere to have all of those so that regardless of whether they reach the Pinnacle of fame and fortune, when they turn around, they will see they had their life all along.

Date: 2026-08-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7678235227847675143?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The irreversibility of life | Reflection 409

I had a conversation with my kids near bedtime a few nights ago I was trying to get all of us to bed on time and as time dragged on they weren’t moving fast enough with the bedtime routines and I was getting caught up with doing too many things myself and the more stressed we all became as time went on we needed to calm down but somehow we did the the opposite the children did what children do and got more excited and my tone became more firm in a way that made them listen to me less and the and it then took even longer to get to bed we got there in the end but er with a lot of things that I wish I had done differently and said differently you know in the Marvel Cinematic Universe where we have the Time Stone that allows us to reverse time to go back and redo the past that’s what I wish that I have the superpower to go back and redo evenings like that it’s nice to reverse mistakes and rewrite our memories so all of us come out happier there are many evenings where things don’t go perfectly and all those accumulates and becomes a pattern that leaves a bad taste in mouth in life that it would be nice to just wish all of those away those feelings of regrets and the reminders of my inadequacies and the that accumulating fear that all of those things built up and will turn bad but it’s funny that I only want to reverse the events that turned out bad I wouldn’t want somebody to erase the things that turned out good if I reverse events what happens to for instance the round of singing that the kids and I did together that evening I definitely don’t want that to change I got a lot out of us singing together even though it wasn’t perfect does erasing all the bad things mean that all the good parts gets erased as well what’ll happen to all the good bits in life that my kids and I build our relationship on but thinking about it maybe tampering with bedtime events isn’t what I want superpowers for if I did have time manipulating powers maybe I’d use it so that my dad is still with us my dad passed away 8 years ago and the boys were only 2 and 4 when he passed away so whatever memories that they have of him if they have any at all isn’t enough and I’m sad about that and most days I wish my dad is still here and today we have technologies that in some way does that I can create videos with a I with my dad talking about things I remember him saying to my kids that my kids probably don’t remember my dad once sat one of my boys on his lap and explained where his name came from and I can realistically recreate that scene and put the boys in it I can put my dad into every family photo I can clone his voice from recordings of him and have him speak to us again in the virtual world many things are possible and increasingly we can create so many experiences but I don’t think my dad would want us to do that we have to let him go and he’d want us to let him go I think he would want us to live our lives as they are part of that life is remembering him and wishing he was still here sharing stories of him enjoying what he left us all that is part of our life now and so is kids doing things parents wish they wouldn’t and parents getting impatient and regretting it afterwards and through it all still being a family all that is part of our life and somehow we get by and more than that we have a life that is genuine and is rich in experience and all that perhaps I don’t need superpowers or technology to fix

Date: 2026-08-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7677767449730682119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A better sunrise | Gratitude 510

Every morning when I wake up, I open these blinds and sit for a moment to look out at my street at the sunrise. What I noticed is that it’s isn’t easy to find an equivalent of this experience online, because most of the things I experience online comes with the push to do more and to do it better. When you look at this video now, are you happy? Is it enough? Or are you wondering what the better next video is that’s more entertaining and more educational or more informative or more inspiring? Is what you’re looking for enough? I find myself doing this in my real life a lot of it. It’s so tempting for me to try and find better breakfast for my kids this morning or to get them to school more promptly or to get more toys and more resources for them. Somehow staying in relationship isn’t enough. The relationship has to be better and I have to be better. The difference is whether I’m participating in my own life or I’m or am I trying to find something better. Everything’s measurable now. There’s a product and a solution to get more out of every moment. I look out at my window every morning and there’s this little tingling wish for a better sunrise. But I think I’ll sit here a moment and let the temptation fade and just let this sunrise be enough. Will you sit with me at this moment?

Date: 2026-08-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7675563352172645650?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Antiviral strategy | Reflection 408

I’ll tell you about an antiviral strategy I use on this channel that might help you if you follow this channel to understand behaviors on my videos that might seem strange. Sometimes you see a new video go up, you leave a comment and you get notification that someone has responded to you. But you click through to the video and it had disappeared for a while, a few hours or half a day, and then it reappears again and goes on as normal. What happened is that I have put the video on private mode for a short time to stop the momentum of it organically going viral. Somewhere in the comments, I have noticed people are talking across each other and they’re no longer listening. Someone says something, someone says something back. They each get constant notifications of uh, of people responding. They write more, they attack more. They call each other names. They get more defensive. They describe why the other person’s wrong. And the algorithm sees all of this and it says, great, let’s push this further with the people doing it and let’s pull more people in. This happened again last night and this morning. So at the moment that video that I put up is in time out. It gives the people the chance to step back and not, not get caught up in the moment to moment notifications and the emotions that comes with it. A very normal way of managing online spaces. Is to punish people for how they behave, to block and to ban people. There may be situations where I might have to do that, but in my account, no one is currently banned. My first response to people behaving like people is to change the environment, not to punish normal human behaviour. It is normal for us to be caught up in these exchanges. We get angry, we become defensive. We get caught up in an argument. We say things at the spur of the moment. We want the last word. I do those things. I’m not judging you by what you did in one emotionally charged moment. What I am doing is creating room for you to decide how you want to respond next. You can decide later whether you want to rejoin this place and how you want to walk alongside other people when you do. Usually when the videos come back on, people have had a chance to settle down and decide what they want to say next. And normally, once the emotions pass, most people never come back to comment. And that’s actually fine. That doesn’t mean I don’t want a video to spread. What I am saying is that that spread will not be on the back of algorithms amplifying anger. There are many other ways for videos to reach people in non viral ways. I maintain this account partly to learn how to be a human being online, to reflect, to experiment with How I say things and to notice how being here is forming me as a human being. And for those of you who share this space with me, I hope it helps you reflect inward rather than explode outward. The videos to me are not the point. How you respond, how we collectively respond to each other is the point. When we have an opinion, even when we’re right, what’s the point of being right if no one is listening? And no matter how great the content is to educate, to inform, to entertain, to inspire, what is the point of all of that if while we’re doing it, we lose the ability to walk alongside each other?

Date: 2026-08-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7675296266070265096?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Listen to your mum | Gratitude 509

To the people today telling me that I’m going to have an unimaginably powerful personal AI soon. I like to say that I’m still waiting for my personal jetpack that was promised in 1984 when I was 15 years old. It’s now 2026 and where’s my jetpack? Come to think of it, I have been waiting 40 years for my flying car and 30 years for my robot butler and about 20 years for paperless office. Anything is possible in tech. It’s just what gets built and what ordinary people like me get are usually two different things. What I am grateful for though is my mum’s promise from 50 years ago that if I work hard, I take care of my family, I’ll be good to her, that I will have a happy life. That one came true. It’s funny how mums can keep promises that a trillion dollar tech cannot. So listen to your mum.

Date: 2026-08-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7674980722624646418?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @katshell4 May this quiet moment bring peace to Adam who lost his life to addiction.

I light this candle in memory of Adam, who lost his life to addiction. I hold this moment of silence in his memory. May he rest in peace. I hold his mother in her grief of losing her son, and I give thanks for her great compassion as even in her grief, she reaches out to remind all of us to hug our children and hold close the people we love. I ask those of us in this space to hold her and the family that Adam left behind, to hold us and help them carry their loss. May they find moments of peace, comfort and strength in difficult days. And may this moment of silence remind them that even far away there are people who have heard Adam’s name. We remember him and we care. Those of us here recognize the great, the great privilege of being invited into this family’s story to share in a private moment during their grief. And now I entrust Adam, his mother and all who love him to the love and mercy of god. May God’s peace be with them and remain with them. Amin.

Date: 2026-08-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7672720055989325064?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Someone on the Internet | Reflection 407

Think of somewhere you most want to be. Think of someone you most want to be with. Think of a time when you were with them. Think of them right now, back to that time, that place that’s not here. About 20 minutes ago, I had one of those moments. I remember back to when and where there was a long time ago that I could never have again. And I was very sad and I cried alone until there were no more tears. But it’s a funny thing, the internet screens and social media, I’ve had these kind of sad moments before, like what I had 20 minutes ago, like the one you’re having now. The funny thing about them is that when I package up my feelings and put them into words and I post them here, I feel better. Funny. It can do that. A few words, a bit of soppy music and knowing that someone on the other side of a screen can hear you. Do you wanna try it? Tell me what you’re feeling.

Date: 2026-08-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7671213168827452680?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
If you won the lottery | Gratitude 508.

if you won the lottery would you be doing the same thing you’re doing now I heard this question today it’s a common question that I’ve heard many times before we ask it to test whether we are genuinely doing what we want to do supposedly money is the barrier between us and the life that we really want there is an Assumption behind this lottery question if all constraints disappeared we would choose our true lives and our true life would be the one with the least burden the doctor is burdened by patients who need them more than they have to give the carer is constantly burdened by someone who needs them again and again a neighbour keeps getting a knock on the door they don’t want from someone asking for help at work we face people who disagree with us and slow us down at home we have children who don’t listen and the burden of meddling parents who will not leave us alone but perhaps all these burdens are not obstacles that are sitting between us and the life we really want some of the things we most want to escape from are inseparable from the things we most want to be a part of we can’t really care for patients without their suffering entering our lives we can’t really work with other people without having to accommodate ways of thinking and doing things that are not like our own we can’t love someone and simultaneously arrange things so that their difficulties is never our difficulties when another person’s life inconvenience is ours is that evidence that something has gone wrong or does it mean something has gone right that their life matters to us imagine if the lottery does work for you you can now quit you hire people to handle every troublesome thing someone cleans your house manage your finance drives your children around deals with their school cooks your meals talk to your parents for you you no longer have to work with people you find difficult whenever something uncomfortable comes up money gives you the exit eventually you escape from all those problems and eventually nobody needs you anymore they only need your money we usually imagine happiness is having enough freedom that we can walk away where perhaps part of happiness comes from having people and places we choose not to walk away from because people need us and we need them

Date: 2026-08-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7670434779229097223?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
On the patio at Villa 27 | Reflection 406

When I was a manager at an aged care facility and retirement village, there was a short period when I would go over regularly to Mister Sato’s house in Villa 27. I’ve known Mister Sato for many years, going through many stages of his aging. When I started my regular visits, Mister Sato had recently lost his wife. He had dementia and was barely able to keep living independently in his house. But with in home workers and services, he was still there. We would chat for long periods and he would usually tell me the same stories he told me day before and not remember that he had told me. I would tell him the same things I told him the day before and there would be no signs he recalled I had said them. We both would laugh at those stories and sometimes we would be sad about something in his past he regretted. On his patio, we spent many hours. Each day when I leave his home to return to my work for the day, I would write in his notes that I had visited him. But besides the date and time, there was rarely anything new to add. I cannot determine that being with him helped his dementia or slowed his decline. We talked about the same things in exactly the same ways. Most of the day’s occurrences would be wiped from his memory by the time I came tomorrow and yet I felt the visits were not a waste of time. It was what our relationship called for. It was when we get to recognise each other’s dignity as human beings. I’ve told this story to many people before and almost universally the response is the same. Of course those afternoons were worthwhile and yet when I ask why, the people I talk to find it hard to come up with the answer. If those visits achieve no clear observable outcomes, why do they feel so deeply worthwhile? It is one of those things I believe as humans we can feel and experience and but languages and words have not caught up. One possible reason for the anomaly is that we perhaps grew up learning to explain our actions by pointing to their outcomes. Actions are justified by what we achieve, what they produce, whether they make someone better. Those are good questions. It leads us to many human advances. Most of the resources I enjoy with my kids, why they have such a blessed life is because people before them ask those questions about outcomes and achievements. But they are not the only questions human beings asks. The majority of human life is lived beyond those questions. During days when we sit with a dying parent, when we listen to a child who discovers something new, when we share a meal with someone, when we play music together, when we write a journal no one else will read, or when we sit quietly with a cup of coffee. Those are times when optimising for an outcome is not the point. We live them, be present and immerse ourselves in the experience of love and hope, joy and belonging. Raising children is one of those areas that requires an enormous amount of deliberate optimisation. A parent has to plan for our children’s safety and their health and their education, their development. A lot of our functional planning and actions go into organising schedules and attending appointments. We research schools and extracurricular activities. We plan time with them to spend with their loved ones. We need to work out how to make money, to budget and make wise decisions with their resources. Raising children is like that, but I’ve come to realise that there is much more to parenting than that. Recently, I was driving my kids home after their weekly dance lesson with them in the backseat. We knew where we were going. I knew how to drive. There was nothing to solve. Then somewhere behind me, they quietly picked up my phone and they took this photo. I don’t remember what we talked about. Perhaps we hardly spoke at all. But they noticed the sunset the same time I did. They wanted to keep the moment and that now is one of my favourite photos. I can’t point to what our car rides achieve beyond the outcome of getting from point a to point B. It doesn’t improve their grades, doesn’t make them healthier. It didn’t teach them any measurable skills. If I had a teleportation machine, would I have used it and got rid of the car rides? I think most definitely not, because car rides were never merely about getting from one place to another. I wonder if we have become so accustomed to asking about outcomes that we forget other questions, like what kind of human beings are we? What are we present for? What kind of people are we together? Perhaps these ordinary moments when nothing seems to be achieved, perhaps they are not interruptions to the life I’m striving to achieve. Perhaps they are my life. Maybe there is something in sitting on a patio with Mister Sato or sharing sunset with my children on our way to a dance lesson.

Date: 2026-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7669944722617683207?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @FitTif . Life is full of blessings when I look for them.

Thanks Tif. I did think of going to Sydney for the last leg of her tour but that’s in 5 days time and I’d have to recover first. It’s alright Tif, if I’m 15 years old, I’d probably will be devastated. But somehow at 57, small disappointments like this are just a small ripple. This is so much more to life. Today some friends are coming over and helping me with house chores because I’ve left a lot of things undone yesterday and most of Sunday. So we get to spend time together and that’s a blessing. That’s a blessing that came from what could be a disappointment. There are many of such life blessings and your concern is a blessing as well. And I thank you. Catch you soon.

Date: 2026-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7669758678739946759?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Laufey concert | Reflection 405

It’s 7:30 and as I record this 10 km that way,
Laufey is doing her Brisbane concert while I’m stuck sick in bed in 2024, her concert sold out so fast I I couldn’t get tickets. So this time I bought it early and I paid a lot to get the V I P pit in front of the stage and then I get sick on the last day. the last day
so I can only listen to her songs and do TikToks tonight I suppose. I think I’ve done enough
Laufey fan TikToks. When will I get to see her live? Well, I suppose that’s life. You know, I I could have made it there. I rested all morning and afternoon and when I woke up earlier this this evening, I thought I could just put on mask and brave it. But you know, when you’re old like me,you develop this annoying ability to be sensible. If I go then my headache and muscle ache, which is quite bad right now, it’s gonna be worse. I won’t be able to do what I promised my family and friends tomorrow,nor get any of my scheduled work done the schedule for the next few days. So although I love laufey’s music, I suppose I love my family and friends more sometimes. some things I was sacrificing for, sometimes not. I think Laufey herself would ask her fans to stay healthy. I think She would. So I’ll just have to grit my teeth and watch all the
Brisbane concert footage come across my feed over the next few hours.
And I hope the next tour isn’t for too long.

Date: 2026-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7669383231455710482?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
“what a curse it is to be a lover girl”…I probably will stay home 🤕#laufey #laufeyland #brisbane

I’ve got orchestral pitt tickets to Laufey Brisbane concert tomorrow, but I’m sick. Should I go? Let’s see. Reasons for not going. I’m too sick, I’m too old, I’m too male. I’ve got no chance with best dressed. But it’s Laufey! What do I do?

Date: 2026-07-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7669030929372925191?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Highlights from Miami Marketta Gold Coast.
@miamimarketta

Livestream 30 July 2026.

Date: 2026-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7668904961312361736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @charlieegm I appreciate your message and our human moment together.

Thanks, Charlie. Seems like a lifetime ago in 2023 when I started a TikTok. social media, including TikTok, like to move us on to new content, to new creators and for creators to find new audiences. But it is encounters like the one we’re having now three years apart that makes this a human space. this encounter is meaningful and I wanna take a moment to, to thank you and everyone who has been on this journey that that each one of our encounters is, is meaningful and we should take time to appreciate it. Thank you.

Date: 2026-07-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7668215365087923463?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Join me at the Miami Marketta this evening!

I’m at the Magik Markets at the Miami Marketta this evening. If you live in the Queensland Gold Coast area and you like uh, witchy stalls and crystals and tarot reading and all things, woo woo! So if this is got your cup of tea, then join me here. Uh, if that’s not uh, something you’re into, then there’s even more reasons to come. You probably never been to a market like this and um, and you’ll be in exactly the same boat as I am. I’m not into uh witchcraft or mysticism at all. Uh, we can explore and meet people here. I’ll buy you coffee. I’ll tell you what brought me here. I met this uh, friend on TikTok named Tiffany. She’s doing art and she has a stall in tonight’s market. So I asked if I could be at her stall and she said yes. Now Tiffany and I have a few things in common. We’re both parents. Uh, we like art. Uh, we, we like TikTok. It only takes a few things in common for people to make friends. It also doesn’t take much to make enemies. So if um, if you don’t like our witches market, then we can make that the reason to make enemies. But life is what we make of it. Er friendship comes from meeting each other, uh, where we are instead of where we want the other person to be. Friendship comes from building bridges from our differences instead of building Walls. So tonight I’m at the market because of friendship and if you live here and you wanna make new friends then I hope to see you here. And if you live uh further away I’m also live streaming from uh from here. So check out my live status later tonight. I’ll see you here.

Date: 2026-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7668196839950241042?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Ice cream | Gratitude 507

Video

Date: 2026-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7667832951790374152?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Join me at the Magik Markets! I’ll be at the Magik Markets at Miami Marketta, Gold Coast QLD, on Thursday 31 July 2026.

IMAGE

Date: 2026-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7667732647770180872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Run 25km at 25yo | Reflection 404.

Hey, I’m at the gym. Just wanna share with you something that I just spoke to my personal trainer about. he’s a coach. What he said is that every 25 year old should be able to run 5 km. Of course, these days there are actually very few 25 year old who can run 5 km and it is and the discussion for us is why I think there’s there’s certainly a lot of content on health and fitness, but there’s a difference between making content and actually giving people good advice because being health healthy and fit means that you have to do the boring things the repetitions. But making content is about making things interesting having highlights. So everyday you gotta come up with something new instead of you know 25 consecutive day you have exactly the same content exactly the same advice. So it’s really interesting something for us to think about this. we’re on social media so much and we see so much and like I said, there is a lot of our content videos and photos and messages about being fit and healthy but really a lot of them are for attention grabbing. So think about that.

Date: 2026-07-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7666442223352990983?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @💕 We honour your mum in this space. May life be gentle on you. Thanks for being here. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We dedicate this moment to Lionel, known affectionately as punch. He was a grandfather, a father and a father in law. Let this light in this moment honour the life that he LED, the love that he brought to the world and to his family, as well as recognize the love he received from his family. Today, we remember Lionel.

Date: 2026-07-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7666439302867455250?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Aelpheah 🇨🇦 We honour your father in law’s life. Thank you for sharing your family‘s love in this space.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7666429037144821010?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The privilege of listening | Gratitude 506.

For over 30 years, I’ve seen how the internet gave voice to billions of people for all of us to speak. With just a phone. We can put out to the world whatever we wanna say. We can be as loud and as far reaching as we wanna be. So why doesn’t it feel like it’s enough? I think it’s because we don’t just want to speak. What we actually want is to be heard. And somewhere along the way, the internet got turned into a place where everybody talks and no one listens. No one asks, does anyone feel heard? And the more that I do this social media thing, the more that I think the whole point of being here is the privilege of listening to other people tell me stuff. Do you have anything you wanna tell me?

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7666421443093449991?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The Privilege of listening

IMAGE

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664992330193276167?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kirsty I am sorry to hear of your friends’ passing. Kitties and doggies are just the best.

We opened the space at this moment for Gilly and uncle, who was very much like a brother to his nephew. We witness his presence among his family who misses him.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664987051376348434?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kirsty Thank you for sharing the life and story of your stepdad. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We opened the space at this moment for Gilly and uncle, who was very much like a brother to his nephew. We witness his presence among his family who misses him.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664979033343479048?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @belleame227 Thank you for sharing your uncle presence with us. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We opened the space at this moment for Gilly and uncle, who was very much like a brother to his nephew. We witness his presence among his family who misses him.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664977295555169544?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @💔🥀Fee🥀💔 Thank you for sharing your memory of your mum. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I sit with you in this moment in memory of the people who have passed in your life, to your soulmate, Alan, your brother Tom, and your future son in law, Shane. We dedicate this moment to them and we sit with you in the memories of the tragic ways in which they died. Today, we remember Alan, Tom and Shane.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664870484978224402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @✨Michelle Woods✨ Thanks for sharing your dedication and your beautiful verse about your brother.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664868731394280711?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Penny Prosick #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664864653951913223?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @I.B Gold Prospecting Thabk you for sharing your memoriy of your mum. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment held in dedication to Irvine Bowie. The dedication is by her son. She died of liver failure at 52. She is missed and loved by her son, and we are grateful for being able to share in this memory of her.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664861560212311304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Melanie&Kitty2 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment dedicated to Andrea, who passed away from cancer. She is gone but still missed.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664860038112038152?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @SquirtCobain I hope you can find peace in the memory of your pa. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle for Kevin, who is her grandfather. He passed away 6 years ago. He took on a lot so that it lessens the load for his granddaughter so that she might have a chance of a normal life. We dedicate this moment to Kevin.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664857610704801042?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Shirley Mccabe Thank you for sharing the blessing that is your mum. 💟 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Thank you. We share this moment for your mom, Kate, and we recognize what a blessing she was to you. It is our privilege to share in your dedication to her. We light this candle for Kate.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664856201569602823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @dwood950 Peace be with you. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We hold this moment and this space for Andy, her dad and granddad. In his full life, we see the full gamut of experiences, from early mistakes and imperfections in parenting to estrangement, to battles with cancer. And within that, we also see reconciliation and heartfelt conversations to heal the past. And we see joys of walking his daughter down the aisle. Through a remission in his cancer, he passes as someone who is loved and missed. And although gone, he is not forgotten, that we can see his spirit and his eyes in his granddaughter. And we also, through his passing, experienced the love expressed in a heartfelt tribute by his daughter, Kirsty. Today, we light the candle for the life of, of Andy.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664853434486639880?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Saul Farro Favian #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664851428426419463?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kirsty Thank you for sharing your connection with your dad in this space. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664835718501518610?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kirsty Thank you for sharing your dedication to Darren. May he rest in peace. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Today, we join Kirsty in dedication to the memory of her first love, Darren. We hold this space for the difficult circumstances that LED to Darren taking his own life. And we reflect on the anguish and pain that might have been around that was with him till before the time of his passing. Today, we remember Darren.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664831587183316231?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @denisegeneral740 Thank you for the opportunity to sit a moment with you in memory of your mom and dad. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle for the couple, Dorothy and Murray, who passed away within the short span of four months of each other. We give thanks for the life they had and the, and what they brought to the people and the world around them. We also sit with, um, the family that they leave behind.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664810493495807240?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Replying to @Zelmara I dedicate this moment to your dad. Sorry to hear of the tough experience due to covid. Thanks for sharing here. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Thank you for reaching out. We dedicate this moment to your dad, to the meaning he had to people around him and also for the place his life has in this world. We also sit with you in the difficult experience due to covid pandemic of not being able to see him or talk to him. We recognize the difficulty of that experience and we sit with you now. Thank you for sharing your dad with us at this moment.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664805336972348679?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kirstie I am grateful for the opportunity to share in a tribute to your friend. Thank you for being here.

We light this candle to make room for Tara, who died 11 years ago in tragic circumstances. She was a beautiful mom who leaves behind two sons and a daughter. She will be remembered and loved. We also witness the power of, um, teenage friendships that she had that in spite of the time and distance apart, continue to be a source of love and care that carries her name forward. Today, we remember Tara.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664802494886808840?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @katanya. Thank you for sharing those memories with us. ##rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We hold this moment for Adrienne. May the candle that we light be a reflection of her place in the hearts of those who love her. We also recognised that in the vivid memories of that Christmas Day when she passed away, that in those vivid memories is the significance and the love that she has within her family. Today, we remember Adrienne.

Date: 2026-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664798044122090760?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The quiet moments of belonging | Gratitude 505

In the past two weeks, most of my posts have been about people who passed away. I made a video offering a space for people to talk about those who are close to you that you’ve lost and many people have taken up that offer. I said I will make a tribute video for the person you lost. So that’s why there’s so many of these dedication videos and there are still a few for me to catch up on from the past few days and I will catch up on them. But here I want to share with you the, this experience of making these dedication videos and why I do it because by all accounts of social media platforms, these videos make no sense. It’s only relevant to one or two people, is not relevant to an audience or body of followers. It won’t get views. It messes up the algorithm and it’s incentive to put my content out there to other people. And for me as an individual making it, it puts me in an emotional space where I’m feeling what grief and death is involved for many people. It’s not entertainment. It’s not education. It’s not news. It doesn’t solve any problems. It doesn’t initiate change. So why do it? I do it because it is a human thing to do. Being human most of the time isn’t looking for highlights or, or trying to find attention. It is the quiet experience of sitting Beside someone and sharing what seems like nothing, but he’s actually everything to the person that’s involved holding on to the meaning of something, holding on to someone who has significant impact on our lives. He’s part of that everything to us as a human being. I think after doing this for a few years, I think I know how to do social media. I think I know how to use the right platform to reach people, to make interesting things, make attention grabbing stuff. But the real revelation for me is that social media is not about that. It’s not about the attention grabbing stuff. To some people who are watching this video, they would have scrolled off by now. They never reached this point in the video because to them, I’m doing, I’m not doing anything. But to me, everything is happening now. We are sharing a moment. We are connecting. We are belonging in the same space. So I wish you that you have those quiet belonging time in your life. And I wish you that you have the opportunity to find that in social media because they are around and people who are present and look to connect with others just like you, they are around too. I thank you for being here and sharing. Good day to you.

Date: 2026-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664574653070904583?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Chloe Michelle May there be peace in your grief. Thank you for sharing the memory of your wonderful dad. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I hold space here for Steve, the father, who is very much missed by his daughter, Chloe. I am witness to the love that the father had for his daughter and through the tributes that the daughter makes to the father that shows what he meant to her and what impact that he had on her life. We are privileged that that love existed and continue to be a part of her life. And her families. May his memory bring peace and gentleness as they deal with the grief of his passing. Today, we pay tribute to Steve.

Date: 2026-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664567027410930951?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Manda Parker Thanks for sharing your mum’s memory with me. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I give thanks to K. Parker, who is a mom and very much missed by her daughter and family. May her life, the meaning that she brought continue in the life of the people she left behind.

Date: 2026-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664565564311948552?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Mandy🇨🇦🇨🇦❌ Thank you for sharing with me the memory of your mom. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle for Maria, who is a mom and a source of our strength. Let that strength continue to light the lives of her family, her daughter and everyone else who remains. We hold this moment for Maria.

Date: 2026-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664564227536850183?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @azbogeygolfer Thank you for sharing memories of your mom. I wish you all the best also. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment that we hold for a mom who everybody knows as Wally. She was a guiding light to her son. He wishes that he has the ability to ask her for her device again, as he used to do, even when he knew the answers. We hold this moment for Wally. And I’m also glad that you reached out. I can see from your account that you face difficulties of your own. May the love for your mom that brought you to this channel also be the love that fills your life. And let the same love spread throughout the people around you so that you are supported and you’re reminded that we are never alone in facing our challenges. We hold a moment of tribute for your mom and we wish love and hope for you.

Date: 2026-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7664534704464481544?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @maybe.its.nikkii🇨🇦 we hold a moment of silence for Tom. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment held for an uncle named Tom. The tribute is by his niece who was very close to him. Tom was fun and funny and very involved with the family. A lot of ways he held the family together. The niece remembers the dimes he left and how those dimes brings up all the memories about him. This is the note that she’s left. And this video is a tribute of a connection that was taken for granted. And we now realize how important now that he’s gone. But this moment is to bring back and hold sacred the memories that he left, the meaning he had in our lives and what he meant to everyone around him. We hold a moment silence for Tom.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663482645065567506?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @kenj May you have peace as you hold your dad’s memory. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle and hold this moment for Hubert Flet, the father who passed away on December 9th, 2024. His child was with him at that time. He is missed by his child and family every second. And we recognize the ache and pain that comes with his passing, even after all this time. And we know that that ache and pain is a reflection of the love that they have for him and what he means to them. We know that there is no fixed timeline for this grief and we wish for peace as they hold his memory. We recognize and dedicate this time to Hubert Flat.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663475677378645255?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Katie Watson Thank you Katie for sharing the love you have within your family #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Hi, Katie. I dedicate this moment, uh, to your husband, Jason, who had an extraordinary health journey and battle after double lung transplant. We recognise here the amazing dad that he was to your children and kind man that he was to everyone who crossed his path. I can see that after so long, you still find it difficult to let go knowing what you had and knowing what could have been, to still see him in your children, in things that happen around you, that even on TikTok where we are now, you come across things that remind you of him. I have no advice to give you. I don’t know if I can say that I know what it’s like for you, what it feels like. What I can do is sit here and share this moment with you to remember the husband you love. I had a look at some of the old photos of times you had with him, of the journey you had together. I want to thank you for the privilege of knowing that love like what you had with Jason exists. Thank you for your love that shines and bless this earth. I hope that you know that you made my life better for having come across the love in your family. And I wish and hope that over time you build a life with that love as a part of it, that one day is better than the previous and day by Day it gets better until one day you can, you can tell Jason, look what we built for yourself, for your children. And in memory of him, I dedicate this moment to Jason.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663311772027276562?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Bon 🖤🌈 Thank you for sharing, and for the content you dedicate to your mom on your tiktok account. The love between you enriches the world. #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment in memory of Carol, a beloved mom who is a beacon of light that shines brightly and still teaches unconditional love even after her passing. She was gracious and loving and kind and supportive to people around her. She was her daughter’s best friend and who the daughter who still lives everyday for her. Her light still shines through her family and she is loved and missed. And in this moment, as we sit in memory of Carol, we reflect on what her daughter still shares about her life and her dedication that she puts out onto the world of memories of her and what the person she is and what she means to people around her. We are privileged to experience the expression of love and joy and belonging. And that expression enriches our lives and brings hope where darkness lies. We are privileged to hold this moment today. We remember Carol.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663305917449964818?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Clarey #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle to remember Brian Bette, a beloved father who is, whose spirit is so strong that his daughter still feels him around everywhere. He is missed by his daughter and all his grandchildren, but they know that he watches over them still and he visits in dreams often. In this moment, we acknowledge and we can feel the love that he leaves behind that still permeates through his family. May that love be the continuation of his story that never ends. We remember Brian.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663300599714204946?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Michele Fleming325 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Thank you, Michelle. We sit with you at this moment to remember your Nana, who died 44 years ago. We recognize that she was your rock. We thank you for being able to share in that important and meaningful memory. May her memory continue to nurture your life.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663298590499933458?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Emma Amanda Milli (Pet hotel)#rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We hold this moment in dedication to Jean, the grandmother. The dedication comes from her granddaughter who misses her and continue to cherish that she was a part of the family’s life. We are privileged to be a part of a life that graces this world. And in, and having the opportunity to join in cherishing her memory, we hold this moment for Jean.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663295387591052551?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @RosieGirl #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Thank you for reaching out. We light a candle at this moment for your good friend, chadrack, who took his own life 9 years ago. We recognise your heartache for him and especially for the pain that he was going through. We sit with you now to remember him and in this moment of quiet, to give space to hear his laugh one more time.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663292370506534162?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Amortelum #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We take a moment to remember Mogdiliani, Snowy and ashmanol, who’s missed by your family and friends. They hope that you are running in heaven with little angels like you and that you are protected and happy. We take a moment to remember them.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663290133331873032?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Tracy 🇨🇦🇨🇦❤️🇨🇦🇨🇦 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We hold this special moment in memory of Dianne, who is a mother, a protector and best friend to her daughter. We remember her name and may not be forgotten and that we know that she is loved and missed. May her, her memory forever have a home in the people who loves her. Today, we remember Diane.

Date: 2026-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7663288062457384200?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Bronwyn Petersen #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I make space at this moment to remember Ricardo Etean King, who is the baby brother of Bronwyn. He passed away at age 30 on November 22nd, 2,009. May the light of his life continue to shine through people that loves him. And may his lightness that is embodied in his nephew, his characteristics and his physical feature continue to be a nourishing memory for the family around, around him. And may his name not be forgotten.

Date: 2026-07-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7662580209601760520?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Social-emotional muscles | Reflection 403.

I’m in the gym today doing some weight bearing exercises I’ve never been much of a gym person I rather walk or play sports but some of my muscles have deteriorated considerably as I age and doing too much sitting in front of a computer so my GP and I have worked out a gym routine to keep the muscles strong this squatting exercise is part of it I used to squat a lot as a child growing up in Malaysia in 70s and 80s we played a lot of games on dirt floors and most toilets we had to squat but now as lifestyle improved the leg muscles for squatting I hardly use anymore over time I use steps less and use the lifts and escalators more I stopped squatting down for gardening and got more raised garden bits and so as some time passes my muscles can’t support me to squat as I used to and that sounds so much like the way we treat our social emotional muscles there are certain things we need to keep doing so that our emotional and social life keeps being healthy but it’s so tempting to avoid them we need to do more of our own thinking and communicating but technology makes it so easy to copy off the internet or let a I write it or something my family said at dinner table that I feel a bit uncomfortable with that we should talk about but let’s just avoid that and find other things to do instead as time passes we emotionally and socially move towards all the easier things and just like squatting we just stop doing the normal stuff my squatting has improved in the few weeks I’ve been doing the gym work maybe my challenge is in exercising my social and emotional muscles

Date: 2026-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7662349273954209032?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @velorixhq #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I want to recognize the strength and courage you show by holding the memories of all the people you have from your past I light this candle for Gavin Aaron Trevor Greg Ann your Uncle Luke your dad and Grandpa your best friend Matthew Brittany Gordo your sisters and brothers may they live in peace and Grace in your memories and I want to thank you for the blessing of having you in this space

Date: 2026-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7662345709194202376?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @TayTay42 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I dedicate the quiet moment to Charlie who died unexpectedly in April. He leaves behind a fiance who they have known each other for 10 years and they have a two year old son. I’m with you as you face the difficult memory of a wedding that didn’t happen and excitement for a future that won’t come. May that light that was undimmed and extinguished not shroud the light that is to come in the future. May Charlie’s love be the seeds of all possibilities in the future. I share this quiet moment with you. Today we remember Charlie.

Date: 2026-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7662291932508441864?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Adopt- A billionaire Club

IMAGE

Date: 2026-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7662016577184779527?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @candacerin #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We light this candle and hold this moment for Nina. She passed away at Thanksgiving. And this is dedicated to her by her best friend, who misses her terribly. At this quiet moment, we are thankful for friendships, friendships that continue to nourish our lives, even if the friend is no longer with us. We are grateful for friends who continue to make friendships meaningful by remembering and by reaching out and dedicating time and, and our attention to those friendships that are in the past. Today, we remember Nina.

Date: 2026-07-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7662011269997743368?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Never Enough | Gratitude 504.

Okay, for today’s gratitude I’m gonna share with you a song called Never Enough from The Greatest Showman the musical movie. so recently if you haven’t noticed I’ve been doing a lot of singing it’s not only just to expand what I’m doing on social media but also for my church and also things happening within family that involve singing so but speaking of musicals and gratitude over the weekend my kid had a musical performance of the musical frozen and and during that that production that performance the projector broke down and that really messed up the the stage design and in situations like that I’d really have to be grateful for the environment that he’s in that he learns from the adults that when things things go wrong, things unexpected happens like equipment breakdown, that’s outside of our control that is things like our participation and giving it his all that is the thing that makes the event worthwhile. in in there are certain environments where kids learn that they have to be more perfect because things didn’t go perfectly one time and and that’s not a good environment to be it’s not a good learning environment for for kids and nor for adults and it makes me reflect on environments that I’m in in different situations whether whether there is pressure You know, to be more perfect and, and those aren’t good environments to, to be in. And, and I reflect on and, and try to correct when, when there are those environments and there are those people that, that applies unreasonable pressure and like, I ask you to, to reflect on that too and, and make adjustments on, to get a more healthier environments to be in. that also fits in with a song that we’re doing, which is never enough. And, when we are, we need to be perfect or more perfect the next time, then, that’s will it will never be enough. Ok, let me get the music going Not perfect, but enough. Thank you.

Date: 2026-07-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661657828326640904?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Sandra Logan #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

Hi, Sandra. I hope you’re doing well. I dedicate this moment to your dad, Alan, as he enters the final stage of life. May the light of his life continue to shine through whatever is to come. May that light remind us that his presence and his relationships with all of us never ends. And may that light shine through the positivity that I know you bring to the world. Peace be with you at this time and to your family as well.

Date: 2026-07-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661620229696425234?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Benjamin Currie #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I take a moment Benjamin to witness and recognize the people and pets who are important in your life who have passed away Charmaine Tiffany Haley Will Richard and I recognize the difficult memories you have of their passing of uh Miss Holly go lightly of frits who are important in your life and of many family members who also are gone I appreciate you sharing the moment you are taking to remember them may they always have a home in your heart and may you find peace in holding their memories

Date: 2026-07-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661616972056104200?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Chaos #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I light this candle in memory of Patrick, who is a grandfather. He was lost to brain cancer. His grandchild continue to tell his stories of being fun and silly and kind of helping with important things like car and getting a house. He lit up a room because people can’t, couldn’t help being happy when he’s around. He continues to pop up in his grandchild’s mind. May his story continue to be told and be a source of strength to people who loved him and continue to propel the people who loved him to their full lives because of his impact on them. We hold this moment of silence for Patrick.

Date: 2026-07-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661106241367756050?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Dei Dei 🖤💛♥️ #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I send condolences to a member of our community who lost her mom, Christine, this week. Now is a time of pain and grief as you long for the phone calls and advice, there is no more and you are left with a broken heart. We hold this space for you and hope that you and your family find peace. Also hope that, um, you know, that beyond the grief, who she is as a person, her relationship with you and what she means to the world remains and the love lives through you. Peace to you and your family.

Date: 2026-07-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661101657664539922?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @mackenziem81 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

we light this candle and hold this space at this moment for a grandfather his family called him dad he lived until he was 95 he is loved and missed by his grandchild who miss showing him her graduation by a few days and it is in that mis opportunity the ache of that mis opportunity that we feel the love that is a dedication to the person he was and what he meant to people close to him may his family and his granddaughter find peace in his passing and may his love live on in them

Date: 2026-07-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661097772145200391?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @F L U O X E T I N E . #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

We hold this quiet moment for Mother Melody, who passed away after fighting cancer for 3 years. She leaves us with words of wisdom. Don’t ever dim your golden heart to anyone. We know that although she is not here, that her words and her spirit lives on in people she loves, including her daughter. May her wise words continue to bless us and nourish us to the end of our days.

Date: 2026-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661095600947055890?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Jacquie💙🍉🇺🇸🇬🇧 #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

I dedicate this silent moment to Philip, who passed away two years ago to cancer. May he continue to nourish the lives of his loved ones, including his sister. We dedicate this moment to him.

Date: 2026-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7661094100266945799?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @FitTif #rememberingsomeoneyoulost

This is a moment of silence dedicated to Alan, who is loved and missed by his family. He is a role model in positivity. May he walk alongside his family in memory and in love for the rest of their days.

Date: 2026-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7660881160179944711?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Remembering someone you lost.

Is there someone who passed away that you still think of all the time? Like to make space for you here to share what they meant to you and share their name. If you want to, I’ll hold a quiet moment for that person, a moment of stillness to honor the person, to cherish what they meant to you, to say their name out loud. You can share as much or as little as you like. The name, a memory, or maybe a single sentence will be enough. I’ll make a short video of that moment and post it here. That video and any information you share belongs to you. It will be public here, but I won’t use that video or your information to market or promote this channel. This is a gesture of remembrance. It is not grief counseling. If what you’re experiencing is heavier and need support, please reach out to support hotlines in your area. I’ve included some numbers from different parts of the world in the description below. Thank you for trusting me in this space with what is an important part of you.

Date: 2026-07-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7660375453873491208?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Streetz . Therapy | Reflection 401

Thanks streetz. I appreciate having you in this community. it’s interesting the use of the word “therapy”. What I do here is chat with people and reflect on things that you tell me in a way that I see if my children are listening, I hope you find hearing that helpful. I see it more like me sitting on the side of a quiet street and a stranger come and sit next to me and we have a chat. I, so I wouldn’t call it therapy, even though I know it feels like therapy. I have regular sessions with my own therapists so I know how it feels. Therapy is done by professionally qualified people now with a range of techniques, who can assess what you’re going through and give specific strategies on how to tackle what you’re going through. I get a lot of regular therapy And I believe that that contributes a lot to my stable and calm state. So I use therapy, even when I’m healthy, actually especially when I’m healthy because that’s when I can implement professional advice compared to When I’m at low points and I can’t take anything in. So I’m a big advocate of people who access therapy. what we have in this community goes alongside therapy. It’s not a replacement. And this, especially if you’re in crisis or you have deeper issues that need to be Managed long term professionally. So this space can’t do those for you. Now having said that don’t estimate the importance of a non professional, non crisis stranger that interacts with with you the way that we interacting now. Being able to pour your heart out to a stranger is a useful thing. You don’t need a diagnosis or treatment plan to have that being an important part of what you do. I do that with bartenders and Uber drivers and my hairdresser that I had the other day. I’m offering you the opportunity to do that here. I’ll read what you tell me and I’ll care about you as a person and I can care about you in a way in, in that way because I’m not burdened by the complicated things that comes with a close relationship. I don’t care about your bad habits. I don’t care about anything you might have said to my kids last week that I don’t like or you might owe me 20 bucks from June last year. And that’s the trade off. If you’re not in crisis, I can care about you in a certain way and people close to you can care about you in other probably deeper ways. Anyway, that’s what I do here. I’m glad to have you here and I’ll chat with you soon.

Date: 2026-07-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7660062114198932744?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Sharing our humanity | Reflection 400.

This is my reflection No. 400 in the three years since I’ve been doing social media I’ve made 400 of these reflections and 500 gratitudes that are reflective this feels like a good moment for me to talk about what I’ve come to believe is worth sharing on a platform like this and what isn’t worth sharing one thing I definitely don’t believe is worth sharing is our mastery over something when I started a lot of people especially marketers would tell me to find the thing that I’m good at and do that it could be a skill it could be some deep knowledge about something maybe I could sing or dance or tell jokes or or offer expert commentary but after doing this for three years my conclusion is that whatever I have mastery over that shouldn’t be the basis of my sharing making it on social media takes persistence and consistency in posting and mastery always comes from a long stretch of practice we can’t master a new thing everyday so there’s a diminishing return in posting the things that I’ve already mastered even if I apply it in new ways once people have seen what I can do they move on the biggest creators aren’t the best at their skill or have the deepest knowledge in certain areas they’re not even the most entertaining or the ones with the the biggest personalities they’re sharing something else with their community what is worth sharing I believe, to share it persistently and consistently is what we are as human beings. It is a journey of walking alongside each other as human beings. I share with my children my presence as a human being and they share theirs. If I try to impress them everyday with what I’m good at, we won’t have a relationship. So, so what do I think is actually worth sharing? The, the human things. It’s our link to our values. It’s our trust and our comfort that we build with each other. It’s our commitment. It’s our vulnerabilities, things that we’re afraid of, things that we are weak at, and the way we cope. I’ve been sharing these things with you now for 3 years. And if you scroll through the comments of any video on this channel, you will see that you have been sharing the same things back with me, whether you realise it or not. Last night, one of you left a comment about a friend you have who, who has slipped into addiction and how helpless you felt. It was only a short comment, but it was a message that meant something to the person who wrote it. And it means something to me to receive it and for me to sit with it and to be influenced by it and to spend time to respond to it. That to me, is what relating to other people is. There is no mastery in relationships between People, you don’t have to be a superstar to belong here, because I’m not a superstar. I’d rather share a moment with you like I’m doing now, than be a superstar. So thank you for these three years, and thank you for responding to my 400 reflections. I look forward to sharing another one tomorrow with you.

Date: 2026-07-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7658266251399023879?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
If you do busking in Brisbane, Gold Coast or Sunshine Coast, will you consider letting me tag along and learn how you do it? Reach me via my linktree.

If you’re a busker in Brisbane, Gold Coast or Sunshine Coast areas in Queensland and you live stream your performances, I’d like to ask if you let me tag along and learn how you work. I’ll pay for your time and effort. I like to learn about where you go, how you set up and pack down, how you handle people, how you keep yourself safe and so on. Just a bit about myself. I do work around building safe and supportive spaces both online and in real life. And I’m exploring just what it would take to combine street performance with online presence. I think it’ll be great to learn from people like you who are already doing, work on streets. I promise I won’t get in the way of your busking. I can help you carry gear to set up, to pack up, whatever is useful. I’ve also done community outreach work so I’m comfortable on the street. You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t make content out of what we do together or use your name and your performances without your consent. This is purely for me to learn. If this sounds interesting to you, if you like to know more about what I do before you decide, you can look over this account or you head over to my linktree on my bio, reach out and we’ll talk.

Date: 2026-07-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7658263248055045384?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Fix You cover. From tonight’s livestream.

Date: 2026-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7657476335094222098?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Groceries Shopping | Reflection 399.

I just did my grocery shopping at a local IGA store. I’m stopping for a moment to share a thought I had. I realised that the people of highest value to me are the ones that I am comfortable doing grocery shopping with. Isn’t that a weird thought? I’ll explain to you what I mean. while I was shopping, I was listening to Norah Jones it’s a wonderful singer and and she also looks from her public profile to be a good person. She’s down to earth and she talks gently and nicely to people. I thought it’d be wonderful to meet her. And I thought about a few other celebrities who are nice people That I’d also like to meet. Then I thought, what if they appeared suddenly right here in front of me right now? And I realise I don’t want that because grocery shopping is quite a vulnerable experience Strangely. I I can’t share with many people because I have to get food and drinks that are very personal to my taste. You know, like, the kids cereal that I eat that I’m a bit embarrassed about. I have to get my supplements and medicine during grocery shopping. And then there are items for my laundry that I get that are very particular to the way that I wash my clothes. I’d be mortified if a celebrity was here and saw all that and know all that private stuff about me. So I realised that the ones who are, who I’m totally comfortable with shopping are the ones that, that are the most important people to me. There’s my mum who don’t care about my embarrassing things. There’s my kids who knows that I’m a cringe dad already. my siblings, my nephews and nieces, some close friends. Those are the important ones. So next time that I’m shopping that I’ll probably devote my brain space to those important people and the comfort and security they give me Than think about famous people that I don’t know. So what about you? Who are you comfortable doing your grocery shopping with?

Date: 2026-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7657113209693818119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The Shepherd Girl 牧羊姑娘 | Gratitude 503.

Singing video

Date: 2026-06-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7655941971638324487?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#onthisday … I still need you one year later!

If you are content and satisfied with life, can you help me out? I’m a father of two boys, and for the past 2 years I’ve been very active online, looking for something online. I found many of you in pain, and I’ve tried to encourage you to voice your pain, because I believe no one should go through pain alone. I also know, though, that many people are content and satisfied with your lives. And online there’s no need to make noise if you are content. And most of you remain silent. But I need you. I need you for a brief moment to leave a message here, to say that life has been good to you, not that you have no problems, but that your problems don’t stop you from looking forward to life, to say to children everywhere that life is worth living, that there are people who smile and laugh genuinely and willing to spread the smile and laughter to other people. Can you do that for me? Can you do that for my boys, please?

Date: 2026-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7654827472692825352?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Zackary Hawkins

Happy birthday, Zachary. I baked some cupcakes for my family today and I saved one for you. We will say a birthday wish for you as part of dinner prayers. It may be a difficult day for you today. Know that you have people who care. We may only had one brief common exchange two weeks ago, but I know what today means for you. And it means something to me, too, because you chose to trust me and to share it. I hope you’re well today. And for anyone else watching, perhaps you can join in and show Zachary the internet where people care for one another.

Date: 2026-06-21
Public Safe Spaces | Reflection 398.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7653831868407713031?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

How safe are you online, especially when you’re vulnerable? This is a video essay about something I do very often here on social media: sharing my vulnerabilities in a public space and sharing with you, who have different vulnerabilities of your own. I want to talk about safety. What does it mean to share safely? Can I be safe? Who is safe and who is not? Usually when we talk about safety online, we are talking about an area that’s free from harm. It’s a place with walls where we can keep harm out. Safe spaces are almost always not public. There is a protected area, a gate, bad actors that can’t come in, and we have rules, policies, and moderators. Safety means being either in or out of this area. All that is fine as something to work towards, but being around people all my life, I’ve noticed there is something off with that picture because people can always jump over walls. It is very hard to tell who is a bad actor to keep out. Sometimes someone who is good today behaves badly tomorrow and is wonderful again the day after. Do we keep them out? And when we bring vulnerability into the picture, we hit on this very difficult fact to swallow: vulnerable people are a threat to each other. A person living with anxiety is a threat to a child, and a child who is immature is a threat to somebody who is old and frail. A person who is frail and talking about end of life is a threat to somebody with suicidal ideation. If we try to create a truly protected space for one vulnerable person, we almost have to throw out everyone else with vulnerabilities. We’re living a myth that we can have a protected space filled with perfect people who can bring no harm to someone who is vulnerable. So for me, instead of looking at safety as what to keep out, I look at safety as what is present that is protective. Safety is defined by what is here that brings flourishing—things like trust and belonging, love, hope, grace, compassion, and kindness. When I look at it that way, I come to realise that the primary responsibility for safety is with me. Until I am safe, when I bring trust and love and hope and grace and compassion, I cannot ask my child to work on being safe. If I’m not safe with you, I cannot ask whether you are safe with the next person. Safety is mine to bring wherever I am, and it is relational between all of us who are together. Harm can happen because you and I are imperfect. We work to prevent it and minimise it, but what ultimately protects us is what we bring to each other as people. For three years now, I have been posting my thoughts on social media. Some of them are about my vulnerabilities. At first they were minor things about little mistakes I make in daily life, but as I became more comfortable, I posted deeper vulnerabilities about depressive episodes, my receding hairline, and my incontinence problems. In recent times, I’ve asked you to share vulnerabilities you have that you’re comfortable sharing, knowing that I cannot fix them. I wondered if anybody would respond, and you did in large volume. You talked about pain and exhaustion and wanting to know if someone would notice you. The comment sections of those videos became spaces where our vulnerabilities meet, and in that space I felt safe. I wonder why I feel safe there. Is it because we look inside our own vulnerabilities instead of prying into other people’s? Is it because we have time to let things sit and percolate and transform into something else? Is it because I’m a parasocial person, really a stranger to you that you have some familiarity with? Or is it because the comments are hidden away and free from amplification? Is it like a secret corner in a café that, although public, is warm, cosy, and only visited by those who come to share? All these questions point to one mystery: what brings trust, hope, compassion, and kindness that gives us a sense of safety? As I wonder, I recall my friend Wayne and memories of him on the streets of Brisbane where we met. Wayne at one stage had a stable home and family, and at other times he was sleeping rough on the city streets. He had an alcohol problem, a busted knee, and a body full of injuries from years of hard living. When he was at home with family, by our usual standards, you could say he was safe. But under that roof, he could not support the family he loved, and they could not support him. The walls kept out the storms outside but not the storms brewing inside him. At times when he was on the streets, he volunteered as a chef at the community kitchen where we were. He had purpose. When he was cooking for a hundred people, he had hope. He was kind and helped others caught on the streets as he was. In the inner-city community who knew him, he had belonging. Whether Wayne was safe depended entirely on who he was with. Around people who judged him or demanded what he could not give, he was unsafe. But for those who welcomed him, accepted his contributions and kindness, and worked through imperfections alongside him, he was safe. Wayne died twelve years ago. Today, when I walk through the streets of Brisbane, I see a little bit of him in everyone. I look at the person walking past me and ask, what would make this person safe right now? What am I bringing to this moment? And when I’m on TikTok and YouTube and the streets we call social media, I ask the same question. Safety is not what four walls and a set of rules can give us. It is what we bring. It’s what we carry with us and what we are willing to receive from each other. So are we safe on social media? I feel safe. Do you?

Date: 2026-06-19
How to share a normal low mood day | Reflection 397.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7652588910232603922?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s a low mood day today. I have some relationship problems as well as taking on a bit too many things. Also not getting enough sleep. It’s nothing dramatic. It’s just a normal down day, the kind everybody has. I’ve been thinking about how to share these down days without overdramatizing them. Will anyone care if there isn’t some massive emotional breakdown or some big lessons to learn? Maybe there’s no lessons to learn today. How do I teach children how to share normal days? Because my children watch me, and I’d rather they not learn from me that the way to do it is to keep silent. The hardest thing about sharing is not knowing what to say. I know something is uncomfortable. I can’t put my finger on it or how to put it into words. It feels like a knot or something like that. I had a business partner once named Jenny. She was a hospital nurse manager and educator. We opened a nursing agency together. She told me about nurses in hospitals and how they deal with stress. They would get together very regularly and very briefly have a quick bitch and rant, let it all out, and then move on. I remember what she said on days like this: emotions need somewhere to go. If they don’t, then they build into something massive. I’m lucky I have a team of professional therapists I can call. When I first started doing therapy, I’d go to see them every time I was down, and then I realised that wasn’t it. The professionals aren’t there to live my life. How do I share with family and friends? How do I share with strangers? I had a singing activity with friends today. I couldn’t pick up the energy to do it properly, and they noticed. And I found myself wondering, how do I let people see that I’m down without laying out all the dirty laundry, all the details? Is it necessary to share all the details, or is it sharing the experience that’s important? Maybe that’s the whole thing. It’s walking alongside each other, talking, responding, sharing time, some gratitudes, some smiles, some tears, and staying instead of moving away. I don’t know why I’m sharing all this with you, and maybe it’s not important to know why. But I thank you for staying and sharing the last few minutes with me and hearing me ramble. Sorry, I can’t give you the details of what’s troubling me. No, maybe that’s not important either. See you soon.

Date: 2026-06-16
Gratitude 502: the gift of receiving.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7651575927616392456?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I was sitting in front of an old building at the edge of Brisbane city today. There’s an urban renewal project I’m involved in and the building is being renovated. While I sat on the front steps, an old lady came up to talk to me. It sounded like she lives close by and she wanted to know what is happening. So I explained what I knew, that the project is fixing up that front wall and explained a bit about how it’s done. Then without warning, she started shouting at me about how the renovation is all wrong and the City Council isn’t doing it right. She went on a tangent about what’s wrong with the neighbourhood and all the changes over the years and how the community has moved away. So while I sat there in my head I was saying, “don’t shoot the messenger, lady.” I’m not the one causing what’s happening. I’m just there to check out the wall. And it felt really unfair having my head chewed off for something that’s not my fault. And it’s not an easy thing to sit and be verbally assaulted like that. If this happened to one of my boys, I would be really concerned. The standard advice for a situation like that is to put up a boundary and walk away, and that would be good advice. But in this video I’d like to share a larger perspective. There are a lot of things unfair in the world, and a lot of people in it are in pain because of it. I think about this woman. What will it take for someone to walk up to a stranger, someone physically larger and stronger than her, and have an emotional outburst in front of that person? Something would have triggered that. And that something is not butterflies and ribbons. So I asked myself, do I have some capacity to absorb that pain that this person has inside? Maybe there’s something in why I was there in front of that building so that I can meet this woman who needed someone to meet her there today. Maybe that was a gift for me. It may seem strange to receive a verbal tirade as a gift, but I consider the blessings I’ve had in my life that led to today—to have enough stability, enough compassion from people around me, enough of all of that—so that I can be present for someone else’s pain without it destroying me, to be able to receive what someone needs to get off her chest. That person is crying, and the question is, who are the people whose shoulder she can cry on? Anyway, the lady didn’t go on for very long. She said what she felt she needed to say. I wish her peace. She didn’t respond, and she walked away. Sometimes our gifts don’t come wrapped up in butterflies and ribbons. I’d like to ask you about your life: what has been unfair for you? What pain do you need to let out? Do you need a shoulder to cry on? And when you’ve had that privilege of crying on someone’s shoulders, can you become the shoulder for someone else’s cries?

Date: 2026-06-15
#reply to @traykido
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7651193234013588743?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Yeah, it’s hard, isn’t it, that justice seems to always be out of reach. I can see the pain it causes you and many people. I’m here if you feel like you need to say more. I’m sorry I’m not what you hope for. You deserve to live in a world that you believe in. And when it falls short and when you’re hurt, I hope sharing it with me can help a little bit. My heart goes with you.

Date: 2026-06-06
Replying to @Panda (Ashley)
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7648047451600915720?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

My gratitude today is for this message that I received this morning from Ashley, who said:

“I wanted to write what I carry on my shoulders, but my intuition has asked me to ask you what you would like to share. What do you carry?”

Thank you for your lovely message, Ashley.

What I carry, I share in my videos, and people like you help me process and sit with it.

I’m a better person because you choose to receive what I have on my shoulders.

You are what is beautiful about the internet.

What makes this a worthwhile place to be is that when you have struggles of your own, you still have space to sit with mine.

I appreciate you being here and being you.

Date: 2026-06-03
Wrap up: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7647007728870771986?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is a wrap up video of my month long participation in the Starlight Super Steps Challenge and that’s during the month of May.

So for 31 days I committed to walking 10,000 steps every day and that is to raise funds for the work of Starlight Children’s Foundation.

It’s a charity I believe in. They have programs to help bring joy and comfort to kids who are in hospital for treatment of major illnesses or conditions.

I originally aimed to raise $5,000 and it was reached in the first week. So I increased the target to $7,000.

We ended up with $6,695. I’m very happy with that. I want to thank all of you—my family, my friends, work colleagues, and especially those of you who follow me on social media who hardly know me, but were still willing to dig into your pocket and contribute to something that is bigger than all of us. Thank you.

As I wrap up with some thoughts on doing the steps challenge, I think of my commitment to 10,000 steps every day and in the end I managed to do it every day except two days. On those two missed days, I came back and did 20,000 steps the next day to make up for it.

Part of the reason for me doing this is that my GP said that I need to have more exercise in my routine. So I joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and I took up this steps challenge.

At the beginning it was hard to find time in a busy schedule to do enough walking to get 10,000 steps, but as I got into it, life changed around me and people around me changed to support me in doing it.

Now, four to five weeks later, walking is just built into my life.

I want to share the thought that this is what I find is very common with healthy habit change. It is almost never the case that healthy change comes with a load of incentives and plenty of energy and motivation.

It is the habit of making healthy changes when it is hard, and continuing to repeat them enough times for them to become habits.

This applies to relationships too. If I want to care for people, to be kind to people, and have something that I can reliably call on to be the human being that I want to be with others, then I have to repeatedly do it for weeks and months until it becomes a habit.

What I want to be is almost irrelevant. It is the habits I have built up that determine who I am.

I appreciate all of you for being part of my month-long journey with this challenge.

What change or challenge are you looking at taking on yourself?

Let me know.

Date: 2026-06-01
The me I was promised | Reflection 396.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7646005721976409352?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s lonely. You know, being on the internet, seeing what I see, loneliness is not a people loneliness, one that’s from not having enough people around or not having things to do. It’s not those. The loneliness is from the promise I was given that this is a world I can be excited to be in and to look forward to participating in. But instead, it is endless feed of product advertising and machine slops everywhere and bombs dropping on innocent people and everyone looking for an excuse to be angry at one another. With the world that was promised, with the inspiration, the hope, the kindness, the laughter that comes from inside me. Most days when people ask, I just say, I’m done. I don’t care anymore. I give up. Only that I know I’m not done. I’m not giving up. And that’s why it’s lonely because the me that I was promised I can be, that I reach for every day is so far away.

Date: 2026-05-28 (IMAGE)
Kindness, parasocial connections and the nature of informal care online
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7644891095045885192?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Date: 2026-05-27
Day 27: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7644571789590416658?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What is the point of donating to charity? Problems will still be there tomorrow, then they’ll still need more money next year. And I wonder is my $10 actually doing anything or is it just to make me feel better for five minutes before I forget about it?

It’s day 27 in my 30 day participation in the Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Everyday I’ve walked 10,000 steps and I’ve asked you to donate for the work of the Starlight Children’s Foundation.

I understand that feeling, that doubt whether your donation makes a difference in a world with so many problems. I’ve given to charity drives and I wonder every time, is this to make myself feel better or does it make a difference?

But I want you to change the question not will my $10 change the world? Because it won’t, obviously it won’t. The question is, is my $10 going to change one afternoon for a five year old in a hospital bed? And the answer to that is yes, without question.

The child is not asking you to fix the healthcare system, to fix her life or condition or treatment. She’s in the bed right now, scared away from what is familiar to her. And someone from Salah Foundation is about to walk in with a ukulele and make her laugh. Your $10 help put that person in that room. And that is what life is. One moment, one person to make a difference.

I’m not here to Change the world. What I do on my channel or the videos I make or the hours I spend, I’m here to change the lives of only two people, my two boys. That’s my world.

We’re told in our society that the only things worth doing are things that scale, change the world, make an impact, leave a legacy. Because most of us can’t do that. We do nothing.

That’s why I’m doing the Starlight Steps Challenge. It is because my boys are watching. And I want them to grow up knowing that people show up in small ways, not just for them, but for the world they’re going to have to live in.

The world I built for a stranger’s child today is the world where stranger will build for my boys tomorrow.

So let me ask you, who are the people whose lives you would change today if you could? Picture them. Keep their names in your head along after this video is over. Keep them in your heart because of what they mean to you. What is the world you want for that person?

We have three days to go. Let’s finish it together.

Thank you and see you at a finishing line.

Date: 2026-05-23
Day 23: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7643037176220929298?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s day 23 update in my month long participation in the Starlight Supersteps Challenge. Today I like to reflect on what is widespread on the internet, this sense for a lot of us that life is more hollow than it was in past. Everything feels optimised. There’s a loss of community. We’re emotionally exhausted and stuff are commercial and transactional. For me since the beginning of this month, I’ve been doing the Starlight Challenge for 23 consecutive days. It has me everyday focused on basic uh physically and healthy and healthy activity of walking 10,000 steps. I’ve had conversations going with my family and friends socially that has gone on now for 3 weeks. I have reconnected with people I haven’t seen, I haven’t been in touch with for a while because they found out and they reached out to support me. I’ve deepened my connection with some people I hardly knew who also support me in my participation in this. The people at Starlight Foundation called me to chat to update me on the as a participant and I got to find out how about the amazing work that they’re doing. Most of all, I get to connect with something that helps children and family who needs help uh during their stay at hospital. This is to connect with something larger than myself and get out of my very narrow headspace about my own problems that are quite small in comparison. I get to tell my children that there are people everywhere who believes in something larger and towards something meaningful who, and who helps each other. I’m asking you to make a donation, however small. I’m not saying that making a donation is going to overcome all the sense of hollowness that you may have. There are a lot of challenges in modern life that doesn’t go away with one action. But maybe the one act of giving will reorient you to something bigger than yourself. It will connect your money to meaning, to have contact with something that’s not transactional, that connects to many people surrounding this campaign. Maybe is one small act that takes you somewhere you want to go. So consider giving. The link is in my bio.

Date: 2026-05-22
Day 21: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7642551151090519303?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Time to put my walking shoes on and go on my 10,000 steps today for the Starlight Supersteps Challenge. It’s day 21 and there’s a nine days to go help support my walk and the work of Starlight Children’s Foundation by donating in the link below.

Date: 2026-05-19
Day 20: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7642264047232060690?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s 20 days into my month long walk in the Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Today I’ll share some thoughts around the word kindness. You know, English has actually quite rich set of words when it comes to kindness. You have kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, benevolence, mercy, tenderness and so on. There are many ways to say that you care. All those words tell us that in English, in English speaking cultures, you think and communicate about it a lot and have done so for a long history of language development. In my own language of Chinese, there are also a lot of expressions of those that are floating on the screen. Now in Chinese, we don’t have words, we have characters. And each character and the combination of characters carries a different connotation of kindness. And they’re all related but still slightly different to the English words. For example, the phrase is translated as compassion, but it is a compassion where there is suffering and I’m in the suffering with you and not outside of it. There’s the Chinese character Ren, translated as benevolence, but it is a benevolence that only exists between two people. There are, there’s an overall difference, I think. In English kindness is something you feel and then you give. In Chinese, kindness is something you transform into with somebody else. Starlight Foundation, their work is about kindness to children and their families who need them during hospital stays. Whatever is your kindness that you engage. In whether it is something you feel and you want to give as a result of it, or something you wish to become. Together with me and others that are walking this journey, I encourage you to take action and to donate to the Salah Foundation campaign. The link is in my bio.

Date: 2026-05-19
Day 19: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7641510003341315346?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is day 19 of my 30 day participation in the Starlight Supersteps Challenge. Today I’m here not to ask you to donate to my campaign, but go to the main Starlight Foundation donations page and donate there. Today is Starlight Day and all donations there will be tripled through the generosity of two sponsors, spotlight and um Northern Star. I’ve done my donation a moment ago. I feel it is important to respond to opportunities like this.The most obvious reason is that the leverage the $1 I donate means $3 for the program. But there is another reason that I believe is more important. Getting sponsors is hard. Organisations like Starlight Foundation have to devote a lot of time and effort to try and secure sponsors for their vital work. So when they do get sponsors, especially ones who show generosity through initiative like matching donations, the response to that initiative tells the organisations whether people care about what the initiative supports. A lot of us say that we care about kids about their happiness that we care that they get supported when they’re sick in hospitals. But that’s just talk. On days like today when we can show by saving on a cup of coffee and spend two minutes to give the money to a cause that we believe these these are the moments that tells corporation whether what we say we care about is actually what we care about. We have problems with corporations keeping vast Amounts of profits and withholding them from the community in which they are part of. Where do you think they get that signal from? It is from us, the community, from our silence. Today, we don’t have to be silent. So take a moment and make a donation today to say that you care. Go to link in the description below. Thank you.

Date: 2026-05-19
Day 18: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7641220778809216264?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is day 18 of my 30 day commitment to walk in support of Starlight Supersteps Challenge. I missed a few days of video updates. Sometimes life just gets in the way of posting videos but I have been keeping up with my commitment of uh 10,000 steps everyday and here are the results from my step tracker for the past few days. Today was a rainy day so I wasn’t going to get my steps in by walking outside so I went to a gym instead to do it on a treadmill. While I was on the treadmill, the lady got onto the treadmill next to me. I didn’t film her because of privacy but um, as she got on she began to run and at quite a fast pace I might add. I was doing my normal 5 kilometer an hour walk. That’s my normal walking pace. After a few minutes of someone beside me running so fast I started to be self conscious. Should I pick up my pace and start running too? I didn’t. One thing I learnt about myself is that I’m not a sprinter. If I do anything or build anything, it will be over a long period, slow and boring. Anyway, the lady did her 10 minutes of sprint and left. I’m happy that I walked for over an hour. I covered distance and steps that would be much longer than if I had sprinted for 10 minutes. We passed the halfway Mark of um this month long challenge and we’ve passed my initial target of raising $5,000. We did it slowly step by step and with the help of many of you who uh some of whom I don’t even know for the remaining 12 days we’re going to try and reach $7,000. Let’s see how we go. I thank each and everyone of you including those who just send encouragement through comments in my video. I really appreciate your good will. Thank you to those who have donated. If you haven’t and would like to do so or you’ve donated already but would like to give up your coffee for a day and donate another $5 I’m grateful for your contributions. The children that benefits from Starlight Foundations work thanks you. The donation link is in my bio. I’ll see you tomorrow for Day 19.

Date: 2026-05-15
Day 14: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7639768875357277458?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I had to sing my son to sleep Tonight. He’s not feeling well from sinus infection. As we were reaching bedtime, he wanted to stay up to play a game with his brother, but I insisted he get to bed on a school night and he burst into tears and didn’t stop. I had him in my arms as he brushed his teeth and I tucked him into bed and watched him as he drifted off to sleep teary eyed. As a parent, we encounter many situations where we try our best and we never know whether what we’re doing is enough. Should I have fed him more or should I have let him stay up a little bit later or get him to bed a bit earlier? I wonder if he’s okay. So I sit here alone late at night talking to a screen wondering, is he okay? Most days we don’t get an answer to that. This is day 14 of my month long walk in support of Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Big reason I chose to support the Starlight Foundation is because I know many parents who faces the dilemma I face tonight in more severe circumstances with their child having serious illness way beyond a sinus infection. The foundation makes a difference to a parent by having someone who can cheer the children up while they wait for an operation. Although they can’t answer the question for the parents, will their children be okay,they can. Ensure the children and the parents are not alone and that means a lot I’m committed to walk 10,000 steps every day in the Super Steps Challenge to raise money to help the foundations work I hope you can support me by donating what you can the link to donate is in my bio about end by showing you today someone who I work with um her email had a question about something I did in the past and the question is in what way were you a better human being? I’ll reflect that question to you. What do you do today that makes you a better human being?

Date: 2026-05-14
Day 13: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7639366177113902354?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s day 13 in my participation in the Starlight Super Steps Challenge. I missed day 11 and 12 updates. I still kept up with my 10,000 steps per day, but there had been so much going on the last two nights that when I got home, I just went straight to bed. TikTok just doesn’t seem that important when many other things in life are happening. I have that choice in my life to focus on what’s important for me, what makes me happy because I am healthy tonight, there are many children who are sick waiting for operations in hospitals that do not have that choice. They have to face the pain of being sick, the fear of um, being in a strange place, the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen next. And their parents sit with them with the same fear and uncertainty. Today I choose to support the Starlight Foundation for all the children and parents who need support during the scary time of being in the hospital. I’m committed to walk 10,000 steps every day in this Super Steps Challenge to raise money to help the foundations work. I hope you can support me by donating what you can. The link to donate is in my bio. Thank you.

Date: 2026-05-11
Day 10: Starlight Super Steps Challenge
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7638261588532661511?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Today is day 10 of my participation in the Starlight super Steps Challenge. Today is Mother’s Day. In my family, we celebrate all the mums and grandmothers have done so much for us as children and grandchildren. I’m made from my mother’s curry chicken and my grandmother’s handmade quilts sand their endless devotion to giving me a life I cherish. I share with you my gratitude for my mum who turned 90 two weeks ago. Not everyone has that privilege. I hear from a few people in our community on this platform who share how tough it is on Mother’s Day without their mothers who passed away. One of you said that you can never truly feel sadness after that grief. I see you and I walk with you today. And somewhere today there is a mother whose child is still here but in a hospital bed and she wonders what is to become of her child. I read a story about a mum whose two year old daughter had cancer and needed surgery to remove her eye. On the day of the surgery, Captain Starlight came to their room, played the ukulele and sang to a little girl as she cuddled in her dad’s arms. And that child fell asleep to music instead of to fear. The mum said it was incredibly hard and beautiful all at the same time. Afterwards, she went to thank Captain Starlight and the performer turned around and thanked her for being open and For letting them in. That’s what being a mother means. It’s curry chicken and handmade quilts. It’s grief that stays forever. And it is the Grace to let a stranger with a ukulele sing her daughter to sleep in the hardest moments of their lives. Today, I choose to support the Starlight Foundation for all the mothers who need support during the scary time of bringing their children to hospital. I’m committed to walking 10,000 steps every day and to share that with you in a video every day. The link to supporting the foundation’s work by donating to the challenge is in my bio. Thank you.

Date: 2026-05-09
Day 9: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7637792170518367496?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is Day 9 in my month long walk in the Starlight super Steps Challenge. Today’s point of reflection comes from my son when I asked him why does he support the work of the Starlight Children’s Foundation? And he said it is because kids are our future. And he’s right. The donations we make in this steps challenge is more than giving. It is an investment in the future of our children and all of our future. I remember when I was a university lecturer at Murdoch University in Perth, Western Australia 30 years ago we had a programme where we supported secondary school children to come to campus to experience what it’s like to do university study. And I remember the kids were so excited just being able to have a few hours, just attend lectures come to tutorial halls and take part in what they know is their future. It brings them so much hope. It brings all of us so much hope. So this month I am doing the Super Steps Challenge where everyday I’m committed to doing 10,000 steps to support the work of the Starlight Foundation. And I hope that you can support me and to sponsor and donate to this to this campaign. The link is in the bio. I thank you.

Date: 2026-05-09
Day 8: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7637522125108055304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Today is day 8 in my month long walk in the Starlight Super Step Challenge. I didn’t really feel like walking today. Today started at um 6:00am with baking cupcakes for fundraising event at my kid’s school was followed by a hectic morning of meeting clients and then an afternoon at my church with uh different contractors and ending with a uh late evening fulfilling a volunteering commitment. Just got home now at um ten PM it’s not a day to be thinking about um doing a walking challenge but I still stop by the gym on my way home to get on the treadmill and finish my 10,000 steps because days like this they remind me that regardless of how the rest of the world is too busy to pay attention to kids with serious illness quite hospitals The Starlight Foundation doesn’t stop and relentlessly steps up to provide some happiness to those children. Long before this challenge began they were around and long after this challenge is done they will still be around. If you want to join me to help the work at the Starlight Foundation to donate to the tireless efforts of those in the organisation the link is in my bio. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow for day 9.

Date: 2026-05-08
Day 7: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7637115559544392968?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’ve just finished doing 20,000 steps today as part of the month long Starlight Steps Challenge. Today Starlight announced that the company Jacob and an anonymous donor have committed to doubling any donations that are made today. So a few of you who I know personally said that you donate if I to double my number of steps today, you’ve donated and I’ve done it 2 hours 12 kilometer walk around Brisbane city. And here are the screenshots from my step tracker to prove it. What happened today is community at work. Children and families have needs and starlight fulfil those needs. Jaycar and a generous donor committed matching funds. My sponsors made donations. I said I’d walk and I have. None of us did it alone. None of us can do what we do alone. That’s how community works. Someone always is offering, someone is giving, someone is showing up Things happen because we are together. Think about the time that we spend online. A lot of things that pull us apart with arguments and outrage and comparisons. But the internet can be something different. It’s somewhere people come together to do something meaningful together. This is only week 1. We have three more weeks of this challenge. To those of you who have donated today and in the past week, I sincerely thank you. Thank you for building the community we can. If you want to take part or donate, the link is in my bio. See You tomorrow for Day 8.

Date: 2026-05-06
Day 6: Starlight Super Steps Challenge
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7636745151938907399?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Today is Day 6 in my month long walk in the Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Today in my family games room, I want to talk about play. We adults think about play as a break from real life. But for a child, play is life, it’s how they process fear and build trust and they figure out who they are. What happens when a child goes into hospital? Everything that makes them feel like themselves gets stripped away. Their bedroom, their friends, their routines. And the thing they need most in that moment isn’t more medical information, it’s play. Someone to walk in and remind them that they’re still kid. And that’s what Starlight does. Captain Starlight walks into a ward and he doesn’t talk about the illness. They play. They make a child laugh. They turn a scary room into a place where a kid can be a kid again. And, and the research backs this up. Play reduces anxiety. It helps children cope with pain and it gives them a sense of control when they have almost none. I’m committed to walking 10,000 steps every day this month in this uh, Super Steps Challenge for play for the right of every child to still be a child, especially when the world is trying to take that away from them. I’m asking for your support to donate and sponsor me in doing that. And tomorrow there’s an added bonus. There’s through the kind sponsorship of Jay Car and a Generous anonymous donor. Every dollar that we donate tomorrow will be doubled. Tomorrow’s the day to give whatever you can. The link for the donation is in my bio. See you tomorrow for Day 7.

Date: 2026-05-06
Walking alongside a teenager
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7636621491303386376?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Image : What walking alongside a teenager looks like

Date: 2026-05-05
Day 5: Starlight Super Steps Challenge
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7636303762684005650?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This coffee I’m having for lunch cost me $5.50 today I also gave $5.50 to my own campaign on the Starlight Steps Challenge. This is day five in my month long campaign doing 10,000 steps per day for the Starlight Challenge. I’m asking you for support in that to raise money to help children in hospitals and who are experiencing serious illness. I’m not asking you to give up coffee. I’m saying if you can afford a coffee like this, you can afford a small amount to help others. Every little bit is significant for people who need it. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow for Day 6.

Date: 2026-05-04
Day 4: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7635978366742482194?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is day 4 of my month long walk in the Starlight Supersteps Challenge. I think back to when it first started a few months ago when my doctor told me I needed to get more exercise into my life for my own health. So I started walking, just walking. And then I started to use an exercise app to monitor my steps in more detail. And when I came across the Starlight Supersteps Challenge, I thought that’ll fit in great. I can walk for something I believe in. And then that LED me to think, if I’m gonna do this for 30 days, let me talk about it. So I started making these videos and as I talk more to people around me and to people who watch my videos, the more I got into it, the walk is now a big part of my life and not just a brief 20 minutes that I had to find time for when my doctor first told me about it. Being healthy isn’t something that just happens to us. We have to intentionally do it to build our routines around it. And it is the same for other things like kindness and compassion and hope, the sort of stuff that Starlight Foundation are into. There’s something that all of us wish there are more of. If I want kindness and compassion to be a part of my life, I have to build a life surrounding it rather than just wait for It to miraculously appear in my life and the rewards are overwhelming. Constructing a life around compassion for other people, for children, building a life on purpose larger than ourselves that is so much more fulfilling than the occasional lucky events that happens to pop up that makes us happy. I don’t know why you’re watching this video. I don’t know if anything I say even makes sense to you. But I believe if you’ve lasted this long in this video, something about what I’m doing resonates with you and perhaps you want to build your life around some of the things I say. If taking the steps challenge or getting involved with Starlight Foundation or something like that means something to you then follow the links in this video and I’ll see you tomorrow for Day 5.

Date: 2026-05-03
Day 3: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.  
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7635607592760282376?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Today is day 3 of my month long walk for Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Today I’m in Brisbane City’s Roma Street Parklands. The sun is out and the flowers are in full bloom. Look how colourful the gardens are. It’s such a highlight. We love highlights, don’t we?When after long periods of cultivation, something blooms and we can see the full glory of what this life can be. It’s a very inspiring. I’m sure you have highlights in your life that you look fondly back on or you’re looking forward to achieving. But whatever you consider to be a highlight I’m certain that about what they will not be. They won’t be when they, you are ill or have a disease or go to the hospital. We don’t look forward to those. Nobody wants to be involved in those. There are people though like the ones who work in the Starlight Children’s Foundation who chooses to work in bringing joy to those dark times for children. They will never be the highlight of someone’s life and they won’t be there when a person is in full bloom. But they do it anyway knowing that the gains that they cultivate is more meaningful than more significant. They sit in children’s hearts and minds. They give water when the soil is dry They give cover when the storm blows through, all to nurture the blossom that they themselves will never see. And they do it all with a smile. I’m Choosing to support the work of the Starlight Foundation in their Super Steps Challenge. Each day I will walk 10,000 steps and I’ll share that with you in this video series. And I’ll share a different reason why I’m doing this everyday. If you like to donate to support the meaningful work that this challenge supports, the link is in my bio.Thank you.

Date: 2026-05-02
Day 2 – Starlight Super Steps Challenge
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7635301422770244872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This month I’m walking for Starlight Super Steps Challenge. This is day 2. Today I want to tell you a story as related to why I am doing this challenge. When my boys were 3 and 5 years old, they were very lively and they like to play. They can be a handful. But once while in our house, the older one slipped and hit his head and he was bleeding. I attended to him. I called his mother, I called the ambulance and I comforted him. And as they arrived, he was assessed and then he went to the hospital with his mother. He needed some stitches but he was okay. This story isn’t about him. It is about his three year old brother. During the hour long episode, my three year old who normally would need attention sat quietly at a corner. He chose to occupy his time looking at photos, doing some drawings. When I spoke to him after the ambulance left and I briefed him to make sure he was okay, he said he knew his brother needed help and he wanted us to help him. It is my experience watching my own children and watching other children that they have tremendous capacity to love and to care for others. But somewhere between them being children and them being adults, they learn that the world doesn’t value the love and care they so naturally hold. This happens when they need it most, when they fall sick. When they have disabilities, when they face chronic illness, that’s when they learn not everybody sees them, not everybody welcomes them as they are. Not everybody shows that they have dignity. They learn to replace love with survival and replace care with defense and the world turns cold. As much pain and suffering that disease or disability might bring, nothing is more painful than losing their true selves. The Starlight Children’s Foundation works in this space. They protect that part of a child that the disease tried to take not just their health, but their joy, their sense of play, their belief that they still belong. When Captain Starlight or one of their volunteers walks into hospital or an online room, they’re not just bringing fun, they’re telling a child, you are still you and your illness is not all of you. Today I walked 10,000 steps and I will do so every day for the rest of this month as part of the Starlight Super Steps Challenge. Walking won’t fix things, but showing up day after day is how we say to sick children and their families, we see you and you’re not forgotten. If you like to support me the link is in my bio.Thank you.

Date: 2026-05-02
Day 1: Starlight Super Steps Challenge.  
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7635274267428506887?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Hi, I’m Leong. This month I’m walking for Starlight Children’s Foundation and I want to tell you why. I’m a father of two boys and I know just how scary it is when my child goes to the hospital just having that fear and that helplessness. But one of the things that I’ve learnt as a parent is that we don’t parent alone. Children are raised in communities. We need a community where people watch out for other people’s children, not just their own. And that’s what Starlight exemplifies. That’s what they do everyday in hospitals across Australia. So I’m showing support for Starlight Foundation cause I believe we need communities like that. And I’m reaching out to you because I believe in the power of what we can do collectively together One of the most powerful things about the internet is that It’s full of people who care, like you. But a lot of times we don’t have the opportunities to show it, to use our voice and to use our resources to actually express the care that is already in us. So today and over the next 30 days, I’m asking for your help. I’m going to walk 10,000 steps everyday and everyday I’ll show you my step count and give you a different reason why I’m doing this. What I hope for is by the end of this month, you will express the same care I know is already in you. Because that’s what changes the world we live in. That’s what builds the kind of community that my children need and what your children need and what each one of us need. Thank you.

Date: 2026-04-24
The imperfect us | Reflection 395.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7632004462470745351?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m spending a week with my mum in Malaysia. It’s been a few months since I was here. I’m glad to see her. She had her 90th birthday two days ago, which is the reason I came. It is my 57th birthday in two days time and I’ll get to spend it with her too. It’s nice to spend time together, but a lot of times when we are together, we spend it in silence. I wish we had more exciting things to talk about, but it is as if we’ve run out of things to say, as if we’ve stopped trying after 57 years of knowing each other. Part of this trip is also to clean up a lot of stuff left behind by my dad who passed away 8 years ago. It’s time to dispose of his stuff and for us to move on. But here’s a book I found on his old bookshelf. It is the Chinese translation of a well known book about attention deficit disorder. It was decades ago when my psychiatrist then was working on a theory that I may have this disorder. So I read this the English version of this book and I gave my dad this Chinese version. I didn’t think he believed very much in mental diagnosis and I thought he never read this book. But what I found today were notes that he made that he’s inserted into pages of the book. It showed that He did read it and he made notes to talk to me about, cared enough to pay attention to what was important for me, but we never spoke about it. I think about my own sons. With them, on the other hand, we never stop talking and we never run out of things to say. But many times I wish I had more perfect responses to what they tell me, better advice or better support, better everything. A family is this weird mix of imperfections and wishes We are better than we really are. A family is where in spite of our failings, we are still a part of each other’s lives and we spend time together even when we don’t have all the right things to say or all the right things to do. Tomorrow will be another day of of the imperfect us spending time together in imperfect ways. Somehow that’s how things should be.

Date: 2026-04-19
What did you have for breakfast? Reflection 394
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7630395169837206792?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

There was a time when social media was starting to become popular that um, there was a lot of complaints about people posting what they had for breakfast. I remember many news columnists and comedians were mocking it. A lot of them saying we don’t care what you had for breakfast. Well, just speaking for myself, I find the most useful thing for social media now is seeing what my family around the world had for breakfast on Facebook and Instagram. I wish there’s more of it. The sharing and the conversations around something like that is so much deeper than the latest trends and viral videos. I find it really tiring watching too much artificial highlights All the marketing slop and now there’s a I slop. There aren’t that many highlights in our lives to fill our feeds and we can’t make Ted talks out of everything, but everyone wants to create a highlight. Sometimes I watch my own life from my children’s perspective and what I see is just mundane day to day stuff I do. Sometimes I wonder if they find it boring and if I need to show them a more exciting life. When I think like that, it’s obvious to me that chasing that excitement is not sustainable, nor does it seem to be what the kids want to see. They seem to resonate more with, um, how I respond to my own life if I’m dissatisfied with uh, day to day. Stuff, they’ll be unwilling to do them. But if I am happy to do them, they’ll be at peace with those things and they’ll find their own way to join me. And they look for me to join in their Monday night life too. The other day they were playing on zoom with their cousin in the U.K. And just putting 6 7 on a shared whiteboard. And they were happy that I joined it, doing absolutely nothing except put 6 7 on the screen for over an hour and how we laughed!

Date: 2026-04-17
Replying to @beck . Gratitude 500.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7629687221242563848?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m well. Thank you for your message of concern. It is a message like yours and people like you that makes it worthwhile for me to care for others because you care for me. Thank you. And I hope you are well, too.

Date: 2026-04-15
Dear TikTok, please push this out to whoever needs this.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7628962146843561234?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m here to listen to whatever you want to tell me. If this is appearing on your feed, it means the algorithm believes you have something to say, but you believe no one is listening. I’m here to listen. If you reach out to me, I will care about you as a person. If you tell me something, I will care about what you say. I will not be able to fix your life, but for one moment, I can give you the most valuable thing I can give, That is my care and attention. I hope that it’s worth something to you. Every night, I will look at every comment in this video and respond to you. If there are quite a few and it takes a few nights before I get to yours, please wait. I assure you, I will get to every message. I will respect what you tell me, but please be aware others may read your message and it is public on this platform. Perhaps tonight you’re thinking, who even cares that you feel invisible? Perhaps you think, if you keep hiding, who would even notice? Well, I notice and I care. And things change when you reach out. Perhaps tonight, somewhere, someone else is also hoping that you reach out.

Date: 2026-04-12
Being human on a flight | Gratitude 499.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7627498385129393416?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

today I heard this on a podcast it’s also tiny little things like you’re sitting on an airplane and you put down your phone so that you can smile at the baby the seat behind you and they giggle back like that’s also part of the human movement this is about taking back what it is to be human but not in the sort of abstract sense but in the like everyday tangible sense all the way up to the international sense I’ll share with you something that happened to me on the flight more than 25 years ago I was flying between Stockholm and Frankfurt as a graduate student it was a short two hour flight I took out my sketchbook and I started to draw one line from the top of the page to the bottom you can see how the pen wobbled as the plane experienced turbulence it was an exercise in mindfulness to be self aware and to be aware of what is happening to me physically and to the world around me as I was drawing this line the lady sitting next to me asked what I was doing I still remember this dot here who I stopped for a moment to talk to her before I resume I continue to have conversations with this lady sitting next to me she does some sketching herself and she was from New Zealand the church pastor there for many years and at the end of the flight she invited me to attend the church if I was ever in town but I never saw her again nothing really major happened on that flight you can say all I have is a boring drawing with squiggly lines and vague memories of conversations over short two hours with someone I never met again but I but what I really had was an experience where I was a better human being when I disembark the plane than two hours before when I boarded the plane because I took time to connect with myself and I took time to connect with someone else flying and travel continues to be a part of my life and in the 25 years since that flight the amount of facilities that available have grown immeasurably we have non stop movies and games and music our phones alone can give us endless entertainment but I wonder every time when I board my flights now will I be better off as a human being in a few hours time when I disembark

Date: 2026-04-09
Plants that grow and blossom | Gratitude 498.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7626289959435095314?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I just arrived home for the day and watering the flowers in my garden. I planted these few months ago and they are growing, blossoming very well. It changes my day to be able to do simple things like water my plants and know that they are growing. If you’re watching this on social media, you’re probably presented with a lot of very messy things happening in the world right now. I know what that feels like. They leave me feeling overwhelmed, like things are out of control and makes me feel helpless. I find that those times is worth spending less time fighting fights I am compelled to fight but have little influence over and instead spend more time on things that are positive that will grow and blossom like this flower bed. Because in the end, what is the point of trying to solve all those very messy stuff that we worry about if there’s nothing in my world like my plants in front of my house for my family to enjoy?

Date: 2026-04-07
The Strait of Hormuz | Reflection 393.
Can we talk about what we are frightened of?
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7625567286291746055?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

There’s a lot of talk in my circles about rising fuel prices. And I noticed when my family, my friends and I, we talk about it, we keep drifting into these abstractions. We talk like we’re analysts,like commentators whenever we touch on something that’s actually uncomfortable. And the more personal these fears, the more quickly we move off into geopolitical explanations. I can understand why. Things like war, global oil supply, the clash between nations are not things we can hide from. But I noticed that when we talk about them and we use the expert jargon we are so accustomed to hearing now in the news, it makes us feel like we understand what is happening. And feeling like we understand is much more bearable than admitting we are frightened. Because I am frightened, I find as a parent, I’m calculating over and over how to adjust so that the kids are able to keep up with what they’re doing. Can they get to school? Can they get to hospitals? Will food be able to reach our shelves? And underneath all of those calculations, there’s a question I do not even quite know how to put into words. Can I still be a father if I cannot provide for those basic pieces of their lives? I don’t know how to process all of that and i am afraid. So I reach out for people to talk to. And as always happens, the conversation goes off into bombs, to Trump, to The Strait of Hormuz , to who is responsible, who needs to stop it. There are a lot of words exchanged in our conversations. And when all of those words are done, my fears are still my fears, my problems are still my problems, and I still have no one to talk to about them. I wonder if we lost this, the ability to stay in each other’s fears about things we find uncomfortable. I wonder if we ever had that ability. Somewhere between the Strait of Hormuz and the petrol pump, there is a person doing all that calculation silently by himself. Maybe someone you know is like me. Maybe you are like me. And what we need is less geopolitics and more of each other.

Date: 2026-04-07
Fight fire with water | Reflection 392.
The greatest trick the Internet plays on me is to get me to go fight against those I don’t like by becoming them.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7625563574940830984?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

The greatest trick the internet plays on me is to get me to fight those I don’t like by becoming them.To fight against people who mock me by mocking them back to pile on people who pile on other people, to fight against people who are divisive by drawing a line in the sand. But internet didn’t start the fire. Maybe the first problem isn’t out there on the internet. Maybe I need to first find the wound inside me and recognise it is the same human wound in the person I’m ready to fight.

Date: 2026-04-01
What we’ve forgotten | Gratitude 497.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7623770002340007176?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
There’s certain things that children know. If I take everything available in human history, most extraordinary events,the best people, most fascinating creations, and I offer all of that to a child in exchange for their moment in mommy or daddy’s arms, most of them will stay where they are. How do they know that we’ve gone?

Date: 2026-03-27
Being human together on social media | Gratitude 496
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7621731892026674439?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Let me share with you the range of comments that you’ve left on my videos for the past two weeks. They’ve ranged from ones about vulnerability, self awareness, isolation, recovery, agency, spirituality, belonging, about catching ourselves, about finding moments of peace, about the irony of our thoughts, handling bitterness, our life legacies, how we learn with humility or just to share a breath. There are many more and you can explore them yourself. I hope you take the time to stop and to enjoy how rich your fellow community members uh comments are. As a content creator and as someone who also spends time on social media spaces, I’ve come to the conclusion quite a while ago that the real value of social media is in the comments and not in the content creator’s content. Content creators like me are only a minority in online population and once we go through the content creation process, we end up with a bit of education, a bit of entertainment, a bit of news and a whole lot of marketing. There is much more on social media than content creators content. The real action on social media is in the comments. Those of you who have been with me for a while, if you see some richness in this channel, that richness is built more by you than by me. I am a better human being than I was three years ago when I started on social media. You and what you contributed To my growth has a lot to do with it. There are occasions I have to let go of people saying things that I might not be comfortable with or they trigger something that I am stuck up about or maybe they invoke a bad memory or two but when I let go of all of those and I I find that I can enjoy spending time with you as fellow human beings and I interact with a full gamut of human experiences that you bring. It does take some time and effort to keep this space safe and to promote and facilitate uh respectful conversations. Again, if you look at the examples I listed you will see that you enable this safe environment by the way you communicate just as much as I do. So I hope you value what we have built here as much as I do and you engage with others here the same way you engage with me and you do that too in other channels, not just here. Maybe I’ll bump into you in the comment section somewhere else on social media and we can share at those other spaces our gratitude for being human together.

Date: 2026-03-24
Reply to @Zack Chong @Leong’s Growth Journal 🇦🇺
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7620704355489959186?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Thanks for the feedback, Zack. It’s genuinely useful to hear. I noticed you reached out rather than just, uh, scrolling past. It means you cared enough about something to pause and comment. If you ever want to share what was that you cared about this community would love to hear it. That’s an invitation that’s always open. Glad you’re here.

Date: 2026-03-23
Replying to @RONALD AI will rule us all | Reflection 390.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7620387614859775240?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Hi, Ronald. Thanks for stopping by. I hear what you’re saying. Underneath your message is something that a lot of people fear that your future is already decided and you’re helpless and you don’t matter. What I noticed is that when we feel helpless, it’s easier to provoke and to deflect than to share. It’s easier just to tune out I understand that. If you’re carrying that load, you’re welcome here. This is a place where we share it together. I hope you share more and we can find a future that perhaps works better for you together.

Date: 2026-03-22
People worth listening to | Gratitude 495. 
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7620026484110970130?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Who are the people worth listening to? I used to think that they are the ones with, um, expertise or maybe the ones who are wise with insights, who says things that change my life, or maybe some of the people who achieve what I want to achieve, who’ve gone places where I want to go. Probably the ones I should listen to are my children and my mum. Maybe going around deciding who’s worthy and who’s not worthy isn’t listening at all. I’ve been on social media for the past hour. Have I spent that hour listening or have I spent it judging everyone who’s crossed my screen? Yeah, I think I need to learn to listen to my boys and my mom first.

Date: 2026-03-21
Messy Relationships | Reflection 389.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7619495951480245511?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Do you find relationships messy? When I first made an effort to understand relationships, I used to say that to myself a lot, that relationships are messy. Many expert writers use that word when describing relationships So I unconsciously started to internalise that In recent times, I’ve moved away from using that word a lot because to think about my relationships as being messy implies that there’s something to clean up. I can’t think of any other situations where I would describe as messy and not try to clean it up. I mean, would I leave a messy house, a messy kitchen, a messy project, a messy document? All of them I would try to clean up. But relationships to me isn’t something to clean up. I instead think of them as something to work on. So instead of using the word messy, I think of them now as textured or layered, just something complex and something that’s evolving and never finished. The things to work on to me are less about cleaning up than about unraveling what’s complex about it, about working to adjust to each other, to adapt to something that is a workable and nurturing between people. I don’t want to be somebody’s mess and I don’t want think of someone I have a relationship with that’s being a mess to me. I certainly don’t think my relationships with my kids or my family are messy, although they are very complex and they’re sometimes frustrating and difficult. but they are also energising and worthwhile to keep. So what words do you use to characterise your relationships? Reflect on that, and I’d love to hear what you think about them.

Date: 2026-03-17
Peace | Gratitude 494
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7618115881746386183?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Do you know what every piece of digital content, including this one, says to you? We all say, you need to pay attention to this. Something is up. You’re missing something. Look at me, listen to me, turn towards me. No content will ever say, don’t pay attention to me. Even this message, what I’m doing now, it’s the same thing. I can’t get you to look away by asking you to look at me now. I can’t do that for you. So I’m going to rely on you to realise this yourself. When you’re off this platform in a few minutes or hours, maybe sometime in the next few days, when you have a quiet moment by yourself and you recall vaguely what I’m saying now, this notion that you are okay, things are fine, you can breathe, relax, and not be on alert. Just for this moment, you can settle and find peace.

Date: 2026-03-16
Friends and Idiots | Reflection 388.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7617782459932888338?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Let’s look at the comment I received on my recent video about my neighbours. At first glance it looks quite strange in English. Take the mooncake 1 to say thanks Lah. That didn’t sound like it had, um, anything to do with the original video, but I recognise it if I read it in my home Malaysian accent. Take the mooncake 1 to say thanks Lah. I felt like this person was mocking me. He was mocking my race or my heritage or my accent. And I thought what an idiot and how vile to do something like this. So while I was worked up, my first reaction was to push back, to say something and hurt him back, to make demands about um, behaviour on my own channel. But I’ve learnt having done this internet chat for 35 years now that the time when I feel like lashing out is the time to reflect and look inward and find out what’s going on inside myself, to find the gratitude and the curiosity about what is happening to me. And from there I found this response to ask this person where he learnt his Malaysian or Singaporean speech. And what he said was this from my favourite comedian. Can you guess which it is? Kumar Kuma is a well known Singaporean comedian And then I could see what he was saying, you know, where the humour was. He was using, I presume Kuma’s joke to say how I can repay My neighbour’s kindness. So I responded with this ha ha yes, it is very much like Kuma and then he followed with a gracious and appreciative message about the original video. Now what did all of this uh tell me? It tells me that, um, I can be easily triggered by my own sensitivity about my heritage and that’s something I have to watch, to watch out for in myself. It also tells me that when I’m in contact with a lot of people, there is something deep in my brain that’s geared towards survival that’s going to see a lot of idiots and evil people because when my brain meets something unfamiliar, it calls out danger, danger. But fortunately, my rational mind tells me that the world cannot possibly have the number of idiots and evil doers that my emotional bias mind tells me. And if I continue to look for idiots in everyone I meet, I stop being kind and the peaceful person that I want to be and I will become the same idiot I perceive everyone else to be. Today I made a friend from Singapore through a conversation that I would not have had if I had not chosen the path of curiosity and kindness. My question is, do I have the courage to do it again? To face the possibility that tomorrow I might get burnt for the chance to make another friend?

Date: 2026-03-13
Replying to @ironsiege 🇨🇦 . Reflection 387
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7616555573227670792?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m sorry to hear you have that experience that uh, people that you help aren’t there to help you when you need them. I find it very natural for me to feel as you do to expect people to have um, reciprocal response to helping each other. But I found in my very long life and experiences that that’s not how relationships work and not how help and support works. It’s not how kindness flows between people. The people I have capacity and willingness to help at certain points in their lives are not necessarily the ones who has capacity and willingness to help me at certain point in my life. And some of us who can help in one aspect of life cannot help in other aspects of the same person’s life. So I almost have found three distinct groups in my life. There’s one who is my family and friends and there’s one who are people I help and then there’s also one, there are people who helps me. There is some overlap between the three, but it’s very rare someone is in all three or at the same time. I find it much better relationship wise when I don’t expect people to be in all three groups. I’ll give you some key examples and the people that I count on most to, for help and support is my doctor, my occupational therapist and my psychologist who I see all the time. I don’t help them at all. Except to pay my bills and to sign their Medicare forms. The ones I help the most are my friends who need help fixing computers or transport to the hospital, my mum with her needs. I don’t count on them to help me at all with most of my daily and emergency needs. In my family, uh, a very large family. And my friends, our connection is not primarily dependent on practically helping or not helping. So that’s the way I live. And I hope that helps you work out what suits you.

Date: 2026-03-12
Kindness on social media | Reflection 386.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7616367938408320263?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

A week ago, I posted a video about a kind letter that my neighbour left on my doorstep. As of now, that video has over 500 k views and has many comments. In that variety of comments, there are supportive ones, playful ones, there’s some deep personal stories that you share and there are also cynical ones and challenging ones. As a human being, I have a range of emotions as I read through those. Some feel unkind and I feel angry because of it. My dad was a black belt karate expert. Growing up, the uncles and aunties I knew from his circle of friends in karate were some of the most physically dominant people I knew and also some of the kindest. And that’s because their sensei, their master always said, when your fist goes forth, withhold your anger. When your anger goes forth, withhold your fist. On social media, our words are our fists. So I look at the comments in my video, the vast majority of them are supportive and informative and they are playful ones. I appreciate those very deeply. They keep me going. But it is actually the challenging ones where kindness is made. It is where I answer the question of whether this channel is worth having at all. Kindness is always on my side of the screen. It can only come from my heart, from my soul. Like all genuine human qualities, hope, trust, love, they are what I wish for when I feel least like they are within reach. Kindness is what I choose instead of waiting for someone to give it to me. So when anger goes forth, I try to withhold my words so that when my words goes forth, I can choose for them to be kind.

Date: 2026-03-10
Reply to @Dann @Leong’s Growth Journal 🇦🇺
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7615459386617515282?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Hi, Dan. I’m letting you know that I received your message. My goodwill extends to you. Regardless of how you feel about my breathing, my door remains open. I hope today is good to you. I hope being here helps you even just a little bit. There’s something tender in noticing how another person breathe. I hope you give yourself some space to recognize the tenderness in yourself. I hope others treat you well and give you kindness and see you for the valuable person you are. Regardless of how you might appear from moment to moment. I’m glad for this brief moment where our paths cross. Take care of yourself.

Date: 2026-03-10
Attunement | Gratitude 493
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7614347938713586951?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m fixing up my spare bedroom to be an events room for my boys and I for us to enjoy our time together. We decided this week about how we want the room to be. So while the, back with the, the mummy, I’m fixing up this room as we planned. There are a lot of things I have to pay attention to based on what we planned. I have to, um, move, um, shelving cabinets from another room into here, uh, relocate the bed that I have here and clothes and then a few other things. But, um, even as I work through the list of things to do, I noticed that, um, my boys are here with me in a way that has nothing to do with paying attention to them. They’re simply present in the room somehow in every decision that I’m making about it. I think of that as, um, attunement and I expect that whatever they are doing right now that, uh, something of me is present with them too. Let me show you what I mean about attention and attunement by, uh, switching off the lights. Pay attention is like having a torch. You can shine it on things that you want to focus on and, uh, pay attention to. But being attuned though, is like sitting in the dark and slowly you let your eyes adjust and you start to be able to see. Being attuned is like that. It is the internal Capacity to see even when there is hardly any light I think about technology and digital spaces that um, technology creates and it gave me the ability to pay attention to a lot of things from my mum thousands of miles away, uh, to my workmates that I can contact at anytime and even strangers that are doing things in the news. But I strive to move beyond that attention giving and seeking and I try to build an experience of attunement that is internal inside of me and that’s relational with the people that I’m with. Some of you sometimes leave comments for me in my videos. The platform a I these days gives me standard template responses that I can send with one click and it will satisfy our attention needs. If I just choose to stand the template and send it to you, it says I paid attention to you and I’m sending you something to get your attention. But for me, every comment that comes across my screen brings me deeper questions about who is this, who sent me this message? How did I affect this person? How is their message affecting me? It is from these question I start to build a basic level of a tummourment. There’s an overlap between your life and mine, even if it’s brief and for a few moments, but it is a meaningful few moments for me. I hope my children learn to do that too when they grow. In digital spaces to attune to people who come across, that they come across and they share digital spaces with, not to everybody, but to find the right people and the right environments that is more than just attention base clicks and exchanges to try and find something like what we have sharing a room like this, even when we are not in here at the same time.

Date: 2026-03-03
Neighbours and my garage door | Gratitude 492. 
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7612958014101982471?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I arrived home and found this note on my front doorstep. It says, hello, this is your neighbour. We just got home and noticed your garage door was open. We tried ringing the doorbell a few times. We went in and shut the garage manually so your house is safe. Isn’t that nice? One thing about doing things for others is that we can think of it as transactions You do something for me, I do something for you. That makes the world go round. But tonight I want to point out something more fundamental to us as human beings that’s reflected in acts like this. As I sit here right now, what appears to be alone by myself, I’m protected by my connections to my neighbours, to my family, my friends, my community. Those connections give me transactional benefits like help to close my garage door. But those connections also create an experience that I can feel every moment of my life, even when I don’t need help. That experience, that state of being, of being connected, it lifts me through my days, It makes me smile when things are down and it fills my existence with love. Humans are creatures built upon connections to people around us. No matter how luxurious our houses are, how capable we are to handle the tasks that we need done in our lives, how much money we may have to buy other people’s services, without our connections, we are less than Human. So next time you see something not quite right with people around you, perhaps their garage door is open when you know it shouldn’t be, reach out and connect for no other reason but because you want to be human.

Date: 2026-02-26
Airports | Gratitude 491
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7611120184018980104?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What do airports tell you about yourself? I’m at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport, at my favourite restaurant here, waiting for my flight back to Brisbane.

I’ve posted reflection videos from here quite a few times, one of my favourite places to journal. And one of the reasons for that is that airports occupy a unique emotional place in life. I’m in transition from one place to another place, far away, a different place to here. It makes me think of my experiences, where I’m from, to expectations about where I’m going. Sometimes the expectation is excitement, sometimes nervousness, sometimes relief, but never no expectations. Never do I feel exactly the same as I felt before the flight. Like life, if I didn’t plan enough, I didn’t leave enough time to go to the airport. If I didn’t pack properly, I’d be a nervous wreck at the airport. If I plan too much, I’ll be busy trying to follow a plan rather than living and enjoying this transition. The best is just enough planning to transit with enough room to breathe, to enjoy the experience, and to take time to share gratitude with a community like you who shares and appreciates gratitude.

Date: 2026-02-25
My old family home | Gratitude 490.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7610725763402288391?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m in Malaysia for a few days with my mum over here in our old family home. Over the years, whenever I come to visit my mum, you’ll see me post from here on this front patio or somewhere inside the house. It’s an old house. It’s not flash, but it was home. In a lot of ways, it’s still home. And I think about what made this place home. It wasn’t built in one day. It wasn’t like my mum and dad decided to wake up one morning and decide that this would be a place that’s warm and belonging. It happens slowly through thousands of ordinary moments from meals and conversations, arguments, fights, reconciliation. That’s why it takes so long to raise children. That is the time it takes for relationships to form, and that is what gives that part of life meaning. We have a lot of choices in today’s world to build things quickly. We can build a machine to do many things, train it with an AI engine within hours. If we have the money and energy, we can start an online shop and create a substantial social media following, build an enterprise all within days. But all these are transactional, and they’re great to have, but none of these can approach the substance from something that is positive and meaningful, that is built slowly and quietly over long periods of facing adversity and celebrating joy and forming memories. So when you are considering your experiences in digital spaces, perhaps look for those meaningful connections, perhaps with family and friends you might have lost touch with, that can give you what is like a family in a whole family home.

Date: 2026-02-22
@Terrence Ho featured in Globe and Mail’s article on Caregiving Friendly Workplaces.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7609622708204227848?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

A friend of mine, Terence Ho, was recently featured in the Canadian news outlet Globe and Mail’s piece about caregiving in the workplace. If you don’t know Terrence’s story, head over to his channel that’s linked in the video description.

There was a time when he simultaneously cared for his brother Torrance, who had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, his mother Mimi through stage 4 lung cancer, and also supported a former support worker with dementia who had no family nearby. All of this while holding down a job of his own. And the article was about how employers like the one Terrence worked for supported them when they needed to do care work for family and close ones. That flexibility is essential for the care to continue and for the carer to have some relief from the pressures. This reminds me of when I was operating an aging and disability service in Australia. We once tried something that seemed to us was quite obviously the right thing to do.The Australian government provide funding to pay support workers to care for people with disabilities and the elderly, but in those families there is usually someone who is already doing the support work. They don’t want to stop doing it. So we asked, why pay an outsider to do a job that someone who already knows and loves the person could do far better and is willing to do? Why not just pay the person the same way we pay a support worker? That sounds logical, but we could never get that to work. There were many problems with assessments and training, risk management, and occupational health and safety. We just kept getting caught in the machinery of how organisations are built.

The article that Terrence was featured in notes that 35% of Canada’s labour force is juggling caregiving, and the numbers are only going to grow.

What we’re really being confronted with is a structural question.

The way we set up organisations is not quite right to support what is socially the right thing to do.

My point is this. In most organisations and corporations, most of the time, the purpose of the employee is to contribute to the purpose of the organisation.

We assume when we hire employees that the employees serve the organisation’s mission.

But there are moments, real human moments, when that relationship needs to reverse, when the purpose of the organisation must serve the employee who is in need.

I don’t think this is charity.

I don’t think it’s a productivity calculation either, although some research show a link to productivity.

I think the most important reason why organisations should do it is simply an honest recognition that organisations are made up of people that live full lives, and lives that include loved ones in decline, having loss of function. The recognition that love in human beings demand time.

The path to a healthier future for workplaces and for us will begin with naming this clearly: that the relationship between organisations and employee is not one directional, that knowing when to reverse is not a weakness.

Organisations embrace their mission fully when we care about the people we hire to care about our mission.

So to Terrence and the caregivers like you, and to employers who have the wisdom to support them, this is a tribute to them.

Date: 2026-02-17
Chinese Red Packets | Gratitude 489
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7607785210985319687?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s the first day of Chinese New Year. Happy Year of the Horse.

On this first day, we give children red packets like this with money in it. It’s a blessing on the abundance and good fortune that will carry them into the New Year.

When I was a kid, red packets were simple, and during celebrations like New Year or weddings or birthdays, we get red packets with money.

When I grew into young adulthood, I would put aside money for these celebrations and give them out as red packets. It’s the same as saving up for presents that is done in the west for Christmas.

It was when I started to get into key stages of life like getting married and having children, that’s when I learned from my mum the true complexity of Chinese red packets and the system of reciprocity that sustains it.

My mum started to teach me, for instance, that when attending a wedding, I have to think about what everybody else is giving in a situation like this in their red packets. Then consider my relationship with the couple getting married and the favours that their parents might have done for us, how much I can afford, how much they need.

My mum kept all of these complex mix of information in her head.

It reflects the complex nuance of relationships between different family members.

The money aspect is only one part of it. It is paying attention to valuing the intricate ways family members relate to each other.

That’s what I grew to understand and to accept as I grew into adulthood in a large family.

We have other non-Chinese rituals too.

My children and I say gratitude. As they learn to do that in more complex ways, they learn to notice and focus on intricate things about people and to extract meaning from them.

As Christians, we have rituals of saying prayers for each other. That requires us to pay attention to things we hear and we know and we find out about people around us.

Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Taoists, indigenous groups, humanists, sports teams, cultural associations, schools, neighbourhood groups, online forums, and social groups of every kind — they all have rituals that hold relationships together.

Relationships are complex, and it is our ability to hold these complications, to understand and appreciate the different levels we connect to each other, those are sources of joy for us as human beings.

So today, if you’re Chinese, you’re giving and receiving red packets.

But whether this is part of your ritual or not, take a moment to appreciate the ins and outs of relationships and those rituals that support it.

I hope your life is as bright and filled with abundance just like these packets.

Date: 2026-02-16
Meaningful digital spaces | Gratitude 488
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7607344479963598088?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

We’re doing Chinese New Year decorations.

It’s the first day of Chinese New Year this coming Tuesday.

While going through the box of decorations, I came across this.

It’s a set of lanterns that my dad gave me.

My dad lived in Malaysia and he recorded a video to teach my kids, his grandkids, about the significance of Chinese lanterns, and he sent us the video along with the lanterns.

That was 10 years ago.

My dad loved to make videos.

Our lives were made rich by the streams of videos and photos and messages they sent us by email, on WhatsApp, Facebook, YouTube. He was everywhere.

And he passed away eight years ago, and my children were too young and never got to know him deeply.

But he’s still with us, still with his grandchildren because the content and the digital spaces that he occupied and left behind, those will never go away.

If you follow my bio, you will see that I maintain a large digital footprint too.

I like being on digital spaces.

Some of my online accounts though, hardly anyone knows about and cares about.

For instance, I have a YouTube channel called Reading with Leong. It has a few videos with my son recording me reading books to them.

They are very messy and unpolished.

We created the channel as a source of sharing just for ourselves, to open an account together, to decide what to call it, to choose a profile photo, or to record something and watch it suddenly appear on YouTube on our TV.

We get to talk about what we should post and what we shouldn’t, about why I appear in the videos and they don’t, about how to shoot videos so people can’t identify our house.

It became a way to learn together about how to live safely in this world while still keeping the meaning.

That’s something we do together.

But most of the time when I’m online, they simply just watch.

My children aren’t on social media. They don’t really like it that much and they have no interest in being in it.

But they watch me make social media videos. They watch me post. They listen to me talk about the people that I meet.

I share my experiences with them because I want to show them that it can be a meaningful exercise in being human, as long as I remember to be human while I’m here instead of chasing views or followers.

So I ask you, why are you here?

If you’re here for entertainment or for news or to buy and sell products, you can do those. But if you ask me, this isn’t a very good place for it.

I’m here every day and I let my children see me being here because for me, this is a place of meaning-making and genuine connection, including what I’m doing right now.

So I hope when you see this video, it brings you something meaningful too.

Happy Chinese New Year. I’ll see you in the next video.

Date: 2026-02-
My baby elephant | Reflection 384
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7606347710970498311?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Date: 2026-02-09
Inspiration | Reflection 383
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7604902585765678356?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

The difference between a good inspiring quote and a great inspiring quote is that a good quote inspires you to do something, while a great quote stops you doing anything because it inspires you to feel like you’ve done something. Don’t wait for great inspirational quotes on social media. Go live and do something.

Date: 2026-02-07
Narcissism | Reflection 382
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7603986286327680263?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I agree there are times when we need to call out narcissistic behaviours and walk away.

But I’ll give you my personal life experience on this.

For many of the family and friends who surround me, at some stage during my 57-year-old life, all of them have done things that I thought were self-entitled, grandiose, exploitative, arrogant, all the common traits of narcissism.

And if you ask them whether I have displayed the same traits at some stage with them, most if not all of them would say I have.

The reason we have our 30, 40, 50-year-old relationships is because at those times when we were being extreme, we did not call each other a narcissist and then walk away never to return.

The question I will have for my children as they grow up is when you encounter those moments when you really want to call someone a narcissist and walk away, is this the time you really have to do it, or is this the time to have a break and return tomorrow to try something else?

I don’t make videos on how to recognise when things are not working and how to walk away from them because there isn’t a shortage of those videos and lessons on the internet.

I make videos on how to recognise and maintain long and deep relationships that are built on countless numbers of times we wanted to walk away but returned to try something else instead.

Date: 2026-02-06
The real test of connection is whether you can stay in meaningful relationship
with someone whose choices unsettle you.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7603599732103023879?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It is easy to connect with people who agree with you. The real test of connection is whether you can stay in meaningful relationship with someone whose choices unsettle you and whose way of being is foreign to you. Have you ever muted a family member whose views you did not want to hear? Have you ever left a chat group because the disagreement felt unbearable? Have you ever unfollowed someone because their posts you disagreed with? Those are natural responses, but they come at a cost. A world that gets smaller where you retreat to only what you already believe and where relationships can only survive if no one mentions certain topics. In digital spaces, difference is everywhere and easy to escape. We can block, mute, unfollow or simply scroll past. Platforms learn what upsets us and shows us less of it or more of it, depending on what keeps us engaged. Either way, we’re being actively sorted. The result is that many of us lose the practice of staying with difference. We forget how to be uncomfortable together. We do not grow by surrounding ourselves only with people who are the same as us. We grow by encountering what is unfamiliar, what resists us, what we cannot easily absorb. The discomfort of difference is not a problem to be solved. We can become someone larger than who we currently are. Without this, we lose relationships that could become stronger if someone had stayed. We lose the chance to discover that we were wrong or partly wrong or that the other person was more than their opinion. So stay when you want to leave. Not forever, not in every situation, but long enough to ask what the discomfort is telling you. Listen before you respond to genuinely hear what someone is saying. Notice when you’re already drafting your counter arguments before the other person has finished. Share your discomfort honestly, not as accusation, but as information like this is hard for me to hear. I don’t know how to respond to that. Let the other person be whole. A person whose views disturb you is also someone with fears and hopes and history you do not know. Resist the urge to flatten people into positions. And when you fail, come back after an outburst, after saying something unhelpful, after leaving when you wish you had stayed, return and try again. The one core obstacle is the belief that staying means agreeing. Many people leave difficult conversations because they fear that remaining is a form of endorsement. But presence is not agreement. You can stay with someone, hear them fully and still hold your position. The practice is not about abandoning your values. Your values can survive contact with people who do not share them. This is not saying don’t block or endure harm or engage endlessly. There are times when leaving is the right choice, but the default for normal differences between people should not be escape. The default should be, can I stay a little longer? Can I learn something here? Can this relationship hold what we are both bringing to it?

Date: 2026-02-02
Living a Good Digital Life | Reflection 381
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7602191840732892434?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What does it mean to live well in a digital world?

We teach children to swim so they don’t drown and we teach digital safety for the same reason. How do we recognise risks and set boundaries and ask for help?

But we don’t teach swimming just to prevent drowning. We teach swimming because it’s fun to be in the water. It’s nice to dive in and to float around on a hot summer day. We teach swimming so that we can experience pools and rivers and oceans so we can play and compete, do surf lifesaving. All of that.

The same is true for digital life.

Safety is the foundation for something more.

The purpose of learning to operate in digital spaces is to enable a good life, not just to avoid a bad one.

So I wanna ask you, what is digital life like for you?

What does it actually mean to be here?

What does living well in digital spaces look like for you?

I see digital life as somewhere we can cultivate meaning and connection. We can discover who we are. We can build relationships across the world. We can create things that are important for us and participate in communities that enrich our lives.

It’s also a space where if we have genuine respect for ourselves and genuine care for each other, we can create conditions where a lot of things flourish.

And none of this is theoretical. I’ve seen it in my life, the life of people around me, and in many places online.

But a lot of our digital world is optimised for moments, the viral video or the breaking news or the notification or text and images that are generated by AI.

We have become very good at creating moments, but life is more than just one moment following another.

A life is a journey that is sustained by practices and intentional choices over long periods of time.

Over the past few years, I’ve thought a lot about these practices, about the full potential of digital life for my children and for young people. What is it like? How do we attain it?

You’ve heard me talk a lot about that on my channel.

And now I’ve written my thoughts in a short book called Living a Good Digital Life. I’m giving that away for free.

The link is in my linktree on my bio.

I hope you can enjoy your time here in the digital world.

It’s time to dive in and let us all go for a swim.

Date: 2026-01-30
Gratitude 487: Flat tyre
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7601116343781444872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m in my car parked beside Ann Street in the Brisbane CBD with a flat tyre.

I’ve sent everyone I was with home in a cab and I’m waiting for RACQ roadside assistance to help.

Obviously the whole Friday evening plans are ruined.

I can sit here and sulk, but I find a bit of gratitude. A bit of gratitude practice goes a long way in situations like this.

Some people think to do gratitude we have to find something positive to be grateful for, to find a silver lining in the cloud as the saying goes.

But what I find more effective as a practice is to pick something at random and put myself in a grateful frame of mind based on it.

Whether the world is one of abundance or one of scarcity is just one gratitude away.

So at this moment I pick TikTok as my source of gratitude.

I’m grateful I have a TikTok community to share a flat tyre with.

That’s my gratitude. What’s your gratitude as of this moment?

Date: 2026-01-30
Image (Are there humans on linkedin?)
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7600860642999897364?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Date: 2026-01-28
Reflection 379: No Comment!
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7600224333088230674?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

There’s a lot of hot topics appearing online at the moment. I want to briefly address why I don’t comment on them.

The main reason is that my whole existence online is for the benefit of my two boys. So if something’s happening that doesn’t bring benefit to them and my commenting on them doesn’t have reasonable chance to bring benefits to them, I’m not getting involved.

In approaching problem solving, I generally take two steps.

The second step is to actually solve the problem.

The first step before that is to ensure that I process the problem calmly and quietly, having my own personal issues settled so that I don’t become a problem myself and I don’t influence people to become problems.

To me, having a voice online doesn’t automatically mean having the power to influence major events. This is to me a common myth.

Most hot issues online are complex and require thoughtful responses and cooperation to influence.

Putting out hot reactions leads to inflaming the emotions of people around us and not influence the actual event itself.

All of this is my slightly more elaborate way of saying “no comment!”

Date: 2026-01-25
#stitch with @The Goddess Podcast who will be looking for you #truefriendship
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7599318088537885973?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

If you turned your phone off and didn’t contact anyone for a week, who will be looking for you?

Let me ask you a second question.

If somebody you know turned their phone off and didn’t contact anyone for a week, will you know to look for them?

A lot of times we spend our time asking the first question, when the meaning of our lives is determined by the second question.

Date: 2026-01-25
Reflection 378: Unconditional love.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7599294520232054023?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

To love unconditionally is the hardest lesson I have for my children, to care for their fellow human beings regardless of their deeds, during our struggles of daily life.

To love unconditionally means sometimes we act to protect ourselves, to enforce consequences, to physically distance ourselves from certain people, but never let that stop us from loving and caring for the other.

To withhold unconditional love is to forsake our nature as human beings.

If we judge others and make our love for them conditional only on their perfection, then we withhold love for ourselves because we are also imperfect.

The contempt for others’ imperfections will expand to eventually erode all love.

Our unconditional love for ourselves, for those close to us, is first expressed through our unconditional love for everyone else.

Being called evil has never stopped anyone from doing evil deeds.

Our path away from evil starts with the transformation that comes when we experience unconditional love from those we least expect it.

Date: 2026-01-24
Reflection 377: Performance.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7598913123961048338?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Children play. That’s where they live, they learn and they grow.

They manifest their lives through the performances in their make-believe world.

Somewhere between us being children and us becoming adults, we navigate the change of performing as part of our authentic selves and performing to adapt to someone else’s expectations.

Besides those performances that nourish us, we add to our repertoire performances that drain us.

From when we wake up in the morning, we brush our hair, put on a nice outfit and step out into the world. Every moment is an opportunity to perform to every person who presents in front of us.

Every event where there are expectations, every scene where there’s a camera or a phone that may capture it.

We are watched and we watch other people.

Listen to your inner voice that guides you back to the authentic performances, those that awaken the child who knew how to perform as if no one is watching.

Date: 2026-01-24
Gratitude 486: Bedtime song
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7598907930330598664?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You’ll never know dear how much I love you.

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

I have nothing to say tonight, so I’ll share a favourite bedtime song in my family with you.

Sometimes we try to find fancy words when being here and being together is all our love needs.

Good night.

Date: 2026-01-20
Gratitude 485: We are not one person.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7597393578284911880?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Yes, one person can’t reshape the internet, but we are not one person. Look around and you will see an internet already reshaped by us.

Date: 2026-01-19
Gratitude 484: Resilience on the world’s stage.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7597001516829904146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Shakespeare said that all the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.

Here’s my stage for today.

It’s my living room that continues to be a makeshift stage for the kids during school holidays.

The kids love performing.

When they perform, they are discovering themselves. They try different things through play, being brave and being silly, powerful, vulnerable.

They are practicing a range of emotions to try acting them out before they actually need them as adults for real.

The children are rehearsing for what they will become as adults.

The question for me is, can we scaffold them from these make-believe stages into real life?

Can we help them with resilience so that they don’t stay on that stage behind the curtains but happily come out here, that there is something out here in the real world that they want and they need?

And what’s the answer to that?

Do I believe the world out here is better than behind the curtains over there?

Because if I don’t believe it and I can’t convince them of it, why would they come out?

Let me describe to you something else that we do after every stage performance.

We run an interview afterwards.

As much as the kids like to perform, they like talking about what they did even more.

We always run a post-performance interview where they get to talk to a reporter, that means me, and they show the reporter through the whole production setup.

That interview usually lasts longer than the show.

They talk freely about the choices they made, why, and what changed from the last show they did and what they will do for future shows.

For my kids around 10 years old, this allows them to see that someone values their decisions, not just their performance.

They learn that when things go wrong, like when the set falls apart or the story doesn’t come out right, they can reflect on it, make sense of it, and the ability to share and to adjust is more important than what happened.

That’s them building their own resilience quietly.

And as they age, they will take that into the world that they inhabit, that ability to reflect and to share with people and to adapt.

The interview in many ways is more important than the show.

Now back to my question, is the real world worth coming out from behind the curtains for?

That’s a question I think for them to discover and not for me to give them the answer.

All the world is a stage, and as much as I want to give them a beautiful world to live in, I can’t.

It is more important, I think as a father, instead of trying to give them a perfect stage, that I’m there when they come off the stage to share with them, to help them find out for themselves what the world and the people in it is like for them, and by doing so, they find the world they need.

Thank you for coming and interviewing the show.

I enjoyed that interview. Thank you.

Well done. Thanks. Bye.

Date: 2026-01-17
Reflection 376: Farewell.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7596309522566761746?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Are you still here?

Why haven’t you left when your heart’s already gone? What keeps you here?

Maybe you’re comfortable here. The world out there can be pretty scary.

You’re almost like a part of the furniture here.

What will you do if you leave?

Where will you go?

Who will you be?

Is that why you’re still here?

Here at least you’re safe.

With every season there is change.

Some places you’ve been you always return to.

Some you’ll never see again.

I wish I can tell you which one this is.

I wish I can tell you that after you’re gone, when you return, things will still be the same here.

The times that you long for will still be here.

I really wish I can.

Sit with me a while.

Show me what you remember, what this place means to you.

And when we get up, I think you have to go.

I will cry when I watch you leave, but you cannot stay because I cry and because you cry.

In our tears is everything we have that we will keep and cherish.

And when you return, it will be a new season and a new beginning.

And I look forward to meeting you.

Sit with me awhile longer.

Date: 2026-01-15
Education during war time. Student Life Unplugged, Series 3 Episode 6.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7595575984821112082?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

During that time, there were a lot of shootings, and a few times a lot of my family members were about to be killed. But it was God’s grace that they are still alive, and I’m thankful for that.

And my sister always says something. She said, “You were born in a war and also you survived that thing. So I think that you really meant to impact people in a way that is worth the fact that you are still alive during that time.”

How does that impact education?

A lot of schools were shut down during that period, and a lot of Albanians were teaching in homes secretly. They were teaching the Albanian course. Of course, the Serbian government was trying to enforce teaching only in Serbian, and this kind of was a form of assimilation of Kosovo people.

Because if you kill the language, you kill the identity.

Date: 2026-01-15
Reflection 375:
If you stop doing the thing everyone recognises is you, do you have the same fear as I do that they won’t like the real person underneath?
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7595537058517585159?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What’s your thing? What do you do that everybody recognises is quintessentially you?

My thing is that I explore many perspectives. It’s what I actually do. It’s what I do for people. It is what I do when things are difficult.

But at the back of my mind, I have this fear that if I don’t do my thing, will anybody like me for who I am underneath?

What’s your thing?

Do you tell jokes?

Are you available 24 hours to people around you?

Are you the strong, silent, dependable type?

If you stop doing your thing, would they still like you for who you really are?

Date: 2026-01-14
Gratitude 483: live and move on.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7595094754367409415?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Let me share a perspective about dealing with problems in my own life.

A mistake or setback or difficulty usually isn’t a problem.

Any damages or conflicts arising from it isn’t a problem either.

The actual problem is when I have so many tools to apply to it, to analyse it and communicate it and discuss it and brainstorm and schedule and coordinate, tools that brings hundreds of people, sometimes thousands and millions in the case of social media, into something that needs only one or two people to solve.

Tools for meetings and descriptions and opinions, interpretation and for advice and for reports.

There aren’t enough nails for all the amazing hammers we have created.

Life is pretty simple. Live and move on.

Date: 2026-01-14
Reflection 374: Loveless
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7595017119956290823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Often before we choose to love someone, we ask, are they deserving?

What type of person are they?

What have they done for others, to others?

Who deserves love and who doesn’t?

When a person stands in front of me, human and flawed, the only reason this person is without love is because I choose to withhold it.

I have infinite capacity. Love doesn’t deplete, it doesn’t run out when I give it. Only I choose not to.

The world is a cold place when I hate without hesitation and I love only under many conditions.

The world is loveless because I choose not to give it.

Date: 2026-01-12
Gratitude 482: Silence.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7594441774081363218?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m gonna give you three seconds of silence. Can you recall in the past 24 hours when you had silence for three seconds? Silence is when you get to listen to yourself. What did you hear in the three seconds I gave you?

Date: 2026-01-10
Reflection 373: “I don’t know”
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7593573316103851282?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

One of the hardest sentences in the English language to say is “I don’t know.”

One of the hardest sentences to accept from someone is “I don’t know.”

I don’t know. The words are simple enough, just three syllables.

I’ve worked in many professions.

When I was a university lecturer, it was hard to say “I don’t know” because knowing stuff is supposed to be what a university academic does.

When I worked in aging and disability services with families and with the elderly and with people in need, I couldn’t say “I don’t know” because they need people to know what to do.

When I do business, I can’t say “I don’t know” because people buy stuff from people who know.

Yesterday my child asked me what will the world be like when he grows up? What will he do?

How do I tell him I don’t know?

But the fact is I don’t know.

And when I say it often enough, I might start to realise many others are like me.

They don’t know and they’re trying to work it out.

That’s something we get to share, which means I can step back and give them a break when they are imperfect, when they mess up, to realise they are trying.

When I realise that, I can give myself a break too when I get things wrong, when I am imperfect.

Because really none of us know, but we all together care enough to try.

Date: 2026-01-07
Reflection 372: Invitation to watch.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7592577601026280722?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

When you’re viewing social media content, have you ever asked the question, “What is it telling me?”

Is it telling me, “You have to watch this!” or is it, “I invite you to watch this”?

That’s how I decide what I want to watch.

Most of the stuff that I come across is of the type “You have to watch this,” and that’s fine if there’s only one or two of them.

But every time it takes me to wherever it wants to take me, I feel disoriented. It is one dopamine hit after another.

But when it’s an invitation instead of compelling me to watch, I can sit comfortably and be present in myself as I engage with whatever it is that is presenting.

I can learn and I can grow.

That’s why to me learning and relationships are not entertainment.

It’s like being with children.

If I try to keep up with every little thing that my kids do as they dash to do this and they dash to do that, I’d be burnt out.

But instead, if I sit back, then there will be times when my kids will stop dashing and then they look for connection and they invite me in, and those are the best times to engage.

That’s how I do my social media scrolling.

It may be useful for you.

How do you decide what to watch?

Date: 2026-01-07
Replying to @Kanishka Hamid Abdulrahimzai Debating Palestine.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7592297495082831112?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Want to talk about this conversation that’s currently happening in the comment section.

The original video was about finding hope, and the comments have drifted to Palestine.

That is a topic about people facing violence and displacement, and our response to their suffering is something we should be thoughtful and serious about.

I ask you to think about this.

When we raise topics like this in comment sections, are we aware of what we are actually trying to do?

Sometimes we’re just genuinely asking questions.

Sometimes though, we’re expressing our own pain. They need somewhere to go, and sometimes we’re not sure ourselves what that is. We just feel like something needs to be said.

I don’t want us to stop having these feelings.

I’m asking, is this comment section likely to give us what we’re hoping for?

Will it provide the depth that our questions deserve, or are we just getting something off our chest because we don’t have anywhere else to process it?

Do you think that the situation will likely get better or worse the way that this conversation is going?

This is how hot political debates spiral.

It’s a trigger, it’s a challenge, and the emotions take over.

Our community is designed as a reflective space. It’s made to be safe, especially for very young people.

So when political debates happen here, are you adding to the collective reflection to move forward, or could it be that you’ve started to defend a position and stopped listening?

In thousands of videos on this channel, I’ve never deleted comments or banned anyone because you’ve created a rare, safe community here.

This is a space that is worth protecting.

I appreciate you being here and thinking through how you have conversations.

I respect your capacity to reflect and decide what to do.

Thank you for listening. Peace to you.

Date: 2026-01-05
Gratitude 481: Happiness at the end of the day
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7591854223780826375?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

You know, wouldn’t it be nice if there’s something we can call on every night before we go to bed that can lift us a little bit so we can go to bed happy?

Happiness is one of those things we can’t pass from one person to another. No matter how much a parent has it, we can’t pass it to a child. Neither can a teacher teach it to a student or a master to an apprentice.

It is something we each have to look for ourselves instead of getting it from another person.

And the time we usually look for it is at night before we go to bed so we can drift off to sleep happy.

A bit of gratitude goes a long way to find happiness.

Maybe if you have someone to tuck you into bed or to hold you through the night, that might go a long way.

But even the happiest person alive doesn’t go to bed happy every night.

Are you looking for happiness?

Are you happy tonight?

Or is it good enough to just share our search for happiness?

I can share that with you.

Maybe that’s good enough for us tonight.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Date: 2026-01-04
Reflection 370: Productivity.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7591513713736256776?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I want to share with you an email I just sent someone I hired to do book editing for me.

There’s been some personal matters that caused delays to her work, and she’s been sending me multiple emails to apologise for the delays.

Here is my message to her.

“Hi Marissa. I appreciate your concern over the delays, but please be assured that you’re not hired to be superhuman without circumstances that result in delays.

You’re hired because you are human and have capacity to link to being human and find meaning.

Our world needs someone able to connect with human experiences, and that means you have to take care of yourself and your life.

If you sacrifice your relationships and wellbeing to meet our deadlines, that just contradicts the principles of what we are trying to convey with the book.

Please take care. Talk soon.”

I’ve employed and managed many people in my life, and I understand the pressure to keep people productive, to keep pushing, to ensure that people don’t slack off.

As a boss, I would love to have a team that can act like robots and produce what I want in the timeframe I need.

However, as a dad, I hope my kids grow up in a world where they’re treated like humans, not robots, where they get to work hard and be rewarded for working hard, while at the same time being able to have a life worthy of living — the whole reason for working hard in the first place.

I want them to have a world that is stable and happy, where people take care of their relationships and wellbeing. They’re not slaves to the productivity ambitions of a select few.

That’s the world I want, and it starts with me being the kind of employer I hope my children will have.

Date: 2026-01-03
Gratitude 480: Trashing the House.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7591077542010866951?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

We just trashed our house today.

The boys wanted to make a stage to do a family musical performance, so we built this makeshift stage.

Believe it or not, there’s a living room in here somewhere.

There’s quite a bit of cleaning up tonight.

Obviously, we can only do this sort of thing during school holidays.

If you have kids that are very active in their imagination, trashing the house to encourage them to pursue their curiosity and their exploration is very normal.

It’s worth it because it gives them permission to be free and to be themselves once in a while.

Usually I find out what’s troubling them during imaginative play.

It is when their hearts are open and their minds are free that they act out what’s troubling them and they talk freely about what’s on their minds.

Then I get to deal with any concerns they have early rather than have things buried and festering.

It is also when I’m listening to my kids as they play and they talk openly that I realise how guarded I am as an adult, how much I protect myself by hiding the deepest, most troubling things, how much I bury them and let them fester.

It’s amazing how we adults all learn to do that.

So I look at my living room tonight and how trashed it is, but my kids get to go to bed free and happy.

Is that not better than having a perfectly clean house but being trashed inside because I don’t let myself be free?

When was the last time you trashed your house and by doing so, discovered what you buried inside?

Date: 2026-01-02
Gratitude 479: Resolution to be more yourself
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7590703562049539335?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Are you making New Year resolutions?

It’s a New Year and we are all searching for something better than we were last year.

Lose some weight, be more productive, build more wealth, spend more time with family, watch less videos.

Are you happy with yourself?

Yeah, it’s hard to sit comfortably with ourselves when we know our flaws so well.

But you know, I’ll bet you if you and I talked, I’d find our conversation pretty worthwhile.

Do you know why?

Because you’re still here in a boring video about nothing much spoken by someone with a monotone voice.

My videos are made to be boring, and only those who are present enough to hear the peace will stay.

And you are choosing to stay.

Give yourself some credit for the wholesomeness that is in you that maybe not everyone around you can see.

Maybe you lose sight of it sometimes as well.

When you make your New Year resolution to be a more idealised version of yourself, maybe take a moment to recognise you may already be a pretty good version.

Happy New Year. Thanks for being here and for being you.

Date: 2025-12-31
Happy New Year 2026!
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7589970176490097928?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This is an ad with nothing to sell, nothing to click on, to like, or to subscribe.

I paid for this ad to give you back a moment just for yourself.

In the middle of scrolling, feel what it’s like — a moment when nobody wants anything from you.

Happy New Year. May 2026 be about you.

Date: 2025-12-30
Reflection 369: Sharing our imperfect selves.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7589507553604766984?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m at the Royal Brisbane Hospital helping a friend with transport for a medical appointment.

It’s just easier to share a trip to the hospital than to do it alone.

We just had an interesting conversation about all our health conditions and problems, and when I list mine, it’s a long list.

And if I choose to label myself or look at myself through my health conditions, I will look ugly.

From how I look with my CPAP mask on for my sleep apnea, to my incontinence episodes, to when my body is so run down I can’t function properly, or when I have depressive episodes and I hide myself away.

Now compare that to when I’m at the top of my game, when I’m fully engaged with my imagination, when I’m emotionally attuned to someone I’m talking to, when I’m flowing that I can overcome my deepest fears.

You see different sides of me.

So as someone who puts up content online, the content shapes how you perceive me and even how I perceive myself.

Depending on what content I choose to look at, I will look perfect in some ways and imperfect in many other ways.

None of them are the whole me.

Using words or text or photos or videos or any form of media cannot fully capture our perfection and imperfections.

Life is an experience.

We as people and as communities, we exist beyond what is on a screen and what a story can capture.

I try to look at myself as something more than anything that is a snapshot, to give myself a break when I’m down or when I’m sick or when I made a mistake.

And at the same time not to be full of myself when something worked or people are heaping praise for something I contributed to.

Most of all, whether in hospital or in a mansion, I try to share with somebody.

Whatever the imperfections are, the sharing is the thing that counts.

Date: 2025-12-29
Reflection 368: Sharing lunch with AI.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7589175403713940743?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Here’s a good comparison on the difference between being human and mimicking being human.

Yesterday I briefly shared a meal with someone I met in the city.

I had some chips and wedges and some packets of drinks, and I was sitting in the street mall and I met someone. He was hungry, so we shared lunch.

Let’s imagine a very similar scene, but instead of the man being there, there’s an AI with a humanoid body that looks exactly like that man.

He moves in ways exactly as the man moved, right down to minute facial details, and he says really sophisticated things about the taste and the sensations of the food. He talks about our encounter in deep and meaningful ways.

But inside of him there are no organs to process the food. He doesn’t get hungry. He doesn’t have a life or any experiences of his own, and he only tells me things based on what he read about humans and food.

He can say how much it means to him, but it didn’t really actually matter to him what we were doing.

He can act like we are sharing lunch, but really only I am sharing. He is mimicking.

A lot of computer scientists, myself in the past included, are very good at distracting from the issue by saying, well, how do I know that someone else isn’t really a humanoid AI?

Or questions like, if a machine can talk and behave to the details and we can’t reliably tell them apart from humans, what difference does it make?

We run arguments like the Turing test that are intellectually deep but humanely hollow.

I used to do that, and because I did that, I was lonely and miserable, and I spent my days hiding away in a dark room doing my coding and programming instead of living my life.

These days, I value sharing lunch with people.

Sharing is not something that requires heavy philosophical or intellectual analysis.

We share lunch because humans share lunch.

Date: 2025-12-29
Gratitude 478: The memories from parent to child.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7588863559065537799?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Over the weekend, my son asked for something that I had to say no to because it was beyond our budget.

He was upset.

I listened to him as he sat on my lap and I held him as he went through his emotions.

After a few minutes, he stopped and he decided to move on to his next activity and went through the rest of the day happy as Larry.

I wonder how much of that conversation you’ll consciously remember in the future.

Probably not much. We have no photos or videos.

Details seem so vague that they will fade in our memories soon.

The memories we can consciously recall, though, are not the most valuable ones.

Our truly valuable memories live in our emotions.

Neuroscience tells us that a child’s emotional architecture is built long before they can form explicit memories.

The way that a parent responds to distress, the consistency of comfort, the soothing and the settling, these experiences don’t create stories that a child can retell.

They create the foundation of what a child will experience — safety, connection, and their own worthiness throughout their life.

My son probably won’t remember that I held him while he was disappointed, but his nervous system is recording it.

It is saying that when I’m upset, someone stayed with me. When I feel things, I’m not alone. My emotions don’t make me less lovable.

These aren’t memories as we typically understand them, not the discrete events that we can file away with dates and details.

They are deeper, the emotional foundations of who we are and what we become.

I wrote a poem once when I was recalling my childhood with my mom. I’ll read out a section to you.

“I remember the times in bed with sickness. I fold through nights without slumber, bracing rain and thunder with your arms so tender you embrace to make me whole.

I recall the memories of gremlins and goblins, my woes over the fear you sang, and in your bosom I clang, and the whiff of your scent dispelled the demons from my soul.

I remember my first words, Mama, how sweet to the ears were those.

Dear God in heaven, teach me the language I have since forgotten that once to her I spoke.”

The truth is I don’t actually have any of those memories I described.

I can’t recall specific nights when I had fever or any particular thunderstorms or that moment when I first said Mama.

But the emotions carried in these words, those are from her.

The memories are reconstructed from feelings, from what I viscerally know about being held, about being soothed, and about being loved.

That’s what she gave me.

The details of my childhood have faded, but this remains.

So when my son forgets our conversation about what we couldn’t afford to buy, he will still carry that valuable emotional experience of being heard when he’s disappointed, of being held when he’s hurting.

He will feel what love is in ways he cannot describe and he cannot recall.

Those are the true memories.

Date: 2025-12-28
Podcast clip: Mental health and studies
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7588821154845019399?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2017.

How does it affect your life and your studies?

In the depression state, I cannot study. I cannot even have a life that is meaningful.

My ranking dropped from rank 2.

At the time, my little brother Huda — his name was Huda — he was 2 years old, and he already had brain cancer, a brain tumor.

After that, my brother passed away and I got depression.

How did you handle it?

I could not handle it.

So it was just a matter of time before I got a manic phase.

After that, the doctor, the psychiatrist, gave me medication, and with the medication, in time I got better and better.

Date: 2025-12-27
Reflection 367: Nice guys finish last.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7588458009144069384?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Were you naughty or nice this Christmas?

Did you get your gifts from Santa for being nice?

I talk a lot about being nice on this channel, but there’s a saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

In my experience, there’s a lot of truth in that. It’s not very common, it’s not obvious how to come out ahead in our race for life and liberty and happiness by being nice.

That being the case, why am I dedicating my time to talking about being something that my boys will probably learn ends them last most of the time?

If you’re after how to perform to win an Olympic gold medal or how to build a multi-billion dollar corporation or how to be a celebrity that everybody likes, what I say here probably isn’t for you.

And I don’t think that there is a shortage of resources to help you be those things.

But if you’re after something more than that, something more that can last beyond whatever race you’re in, then what I say may be helpful for you.

This Christmas, in my house nobody got any gifts under the Christmas tree.

We decided to donate what we were going to spend under the Christmas tree to our church’s community programme, one that helps people living in the streets.

So Santa went to my church instead of coming here this year.

And what do we get in return for doing that, for being nice to other people?

I know my answer to that.

That is a question I cannot answer for you. No one can.

You only discover what you get in return by doing it, by being nice again and again, by getting burnt and finishing last but keep doing it again and again until you discover that part of yourself that doesn’t care where you finish in someone else’s race, but you can see and you can celebrate who you’re becoming in your own race to be the nice person you want to be.

Date: 2025-12-25
Reflection 366: a family night out at the Brisbane city centre.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7587759915121249544?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

This was what Brisbane city centre looked like on Christmas Eve as we counted down to midnight.

There was a light show on the walls of the City Hall and a brightly lit 20-metre-high Christmas tree.

When we look at the costs involved to put up a show like this, it would cost the city at least hundreds of thousands of dollars, likely into the millions every year.

On the surface, it doesn’t make sense for a city to spend that amount of money on a free event with no ticketing.

But the city doesn’t look at getting returns from ticketing. It gets them from economic activity, from city branding, tourism, and resident lifestyles.

All of that translates to many millions more than they spend, and that’s why they do it year after year.

But the point of this video isn’t about the city council or their big numbers. It’s about you.

If you had a night out at the city centre with family on Christmas Eve, what was the point of it? What did you get out of it?

When you and your loved ones looked at the Christmas tree and you saw the flashy light show, what was the point of it?

Was it so that you can shut your kids up for a few hours?

Was it so that you had something to do, something to show up in your photo gallery on your phone?

What was the point of it?

Maybe the point is not something we can describe or record or measure.

Maybe the point is that your children will not remember the light show or how tall the tree was or which year it happened, but they might remember walking beside you, holding your hand, sitting on your shoulder.

They might remember they shared something special with you.

The next time you’re watching a light show or looking up at a giant Christmas tree, it’s worth pausing for a moment to remember that what you’re looking at is not the point of it.

Date: 2025-12-24
Reflection 365: Reaction vs Response.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7587255691824467218?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What is the difference between a response to a problem and a reaction to the events and people surrounding the problem?

It’s the end-of-year holiday season, and what I see on social media among the festive content is an increase in reaction content to problems in our communities and our society.

I’d like to share with you how I think about this, about reaction versus response.

When I’m reacting, my reaction usually tells me more about myself than anything useful about a problem.

My reactions usually take the form of calling people out or shaming and mocking, grandstanding and dismissive statements about people and their perspectives.

They are me discharging emotions, signalling that I belong to a group, that I care about something, and mainly for me to avoid what is uncomfortable for me.

The underlying unspoken questions are: What do I need to feel safe right now? What needs to happen to set things right for me to be seen because I feel invisible?

How’s that different to a constructive response?

To me, a constructive response is asking the underlying question: What is actually going on right now and what response can help?

Examples of helpful responses are asking questions to get understanding, naming the impact, preserving dignity — my dignity and everyone else’s — offering alternatives, being cautious about assuming someone’s intent, and talking first about what we do share, the outcomes and the impacts.

The main characteristic of a response is that it is processed over the long term, compared to a temporary reaction that demands another temporary reaction.

I try to work towards constructive responses and process my private reactions away from the public eye.

That is what I hope to bring to the world this festive season.

I’ll end with this advice to my sons.

When you’re older and you happen to stumble on this video, you may find moments when you feel compelled to engage in reaction storms. You may find yourself caught in a tsunami of emotions you didn’t ask for.

Remember, give yourself a break. We fail as human beings from time to time.

Most things are recoverable and most relationships can be repaired.

There are people around you who love you and will help you.

We don’t walk through these storms alone.

Your reactions may be the sign to reach out to people who are actually important to you.

Date: 2025-12-23
Gratitude 477: Performance.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7586928700529347847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I asked my boys to record a Christmas greeting to family overseas and, as usual, they couldn’t record a plain message.

They had to have their own ideas about using funny voices with fancy transitions and then followed by a big finale.

It was a big performance, and it reminds me of all the times when they go on stage to do recitals. That’s how they always have a big smile on their face.

Children love to perform when they’re given the freedom to express what is genuinely inside them.

In today’s digital spaces though, where there’s so much performative content instead of being genuine, we’re very wary of performances.

So today I think about what it is about my kids’ performance in their Christmas video and how that compares to toxic performances online.

I think about the fact that my kids don’t edit themselves. They’re not trying to manipulate what they show to try and cater to what might work for an audience.

I think that makes a big difference.

I think the fact that they are doing it for love of family and love of performing itself instead of doing it to get some external validation.

When they finish recording, they’re done and happy with what they’ve done.

There are no clicks or likes or box office to follow and determine if what they did is good.

The main difference I see is that the boys are at peace by the time they finish their performance, that peace that comes from the simple satisfaction that they got what they need.

The motivation is intrinsic. It’s from inside them.

Children seem to know what they want inside them and they act it out, while adults like us seem to surround ourselves with layers and layers of calculated performances, trying to find what is really inside of us.

How do you tell a performance is genuine versus one that’s not?

Can you tell when you are performing for the right reasons?

Date: 2025-12-20
Gratitude 476: A Tiring Christmas.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7585954563933424917?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s five days before Christmas and I’m tired out.

Are you a Christmas person? If you are, you know what I mean.

There’s so much to do — the decorations, the celebrations, the preparations. It’s tiring.

Sometimes I wonder if the tiredness is worth it.

What’s the difference between being tired and burning out?

What’s worth getting tired over? Is it worthwhile to do?

I think of it as comparing between being tired fulfilled and being tired hollow.

I’ve been tired hollow before, just dreading getting up in the morning and doing it because someone else thinks that I should.

It’s a type of tiredness that having rest and sleep cannot cure.

That’s not this Christmas.

I feel blessed and energized even though I need to go and get a good night’s sleep now.

I hope you have a beautiful Christmas and a fulfilling one, however tired you are.

Date: 2025-12-18
Gratitude 475: Time spent by 12 years old.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7585110845877751048?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I read this statistic today that says that as a parent I would have spent 75% of the time I have with my child by the time he’s 12 years old, and 90% of it by the time he’s eighteen.

It indicates how the amount of contact time parents have with our children substantially decreases as they grow up.

My oldest boy will be 12 next year.

I can sit here and mourn that I’ve already spent 75% of my time with him, or I can look at it another way — that those 12 years haven’t been spent, they’ve been invested.

That every storybook that we have ever read together becomes a part of what he reads to the rest of the world.

That every question that he asked that I stopped to answer is a seed of the thousands and millions of questions that he will explore on his own.

That every moment that he felt seen when I was with him is how he will see others for the rest of his life.

The life we have together isn’t 75% already spent and gone.

The time gave me 100% of his future.

I will be in every story he tells, every question he asks, and every person he sees.

I will be with him for every moment of his life, just as he will be in every moment of mine.

Date: 2025-12-18
Reflection 364: AI to help with emotions.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7585075721513520402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Do you use AI to help your emotions? I do.

What is the difference between using AI chatbots as a language tool to help you manage your emotions and using AI as the thing that actually manages your emotions for you?

Let’s talk about that difference.

When you use AI as a language tool, it means when you feel those difficult emotions bubbling up, you talk to AI and you say, “Help me understand what I’m feeling,” or “Help me find words to explain this to my friend.”

The AI helps you name it and organise it and communicate it.

Then you take that clarity forward into your relationships, into choices you make, into how you take care of yourself.

When you use AI as a regulation tool though, it looks very different.

When you’re upset and you turn to AI to feel better, you’re looking for comfort and reassurance, and you get that from the AI itself.

You feel better and then you stop.

Let’s look at that difference.

We want you to use AI as a language tool, like a journal for emotions, as a tool that helps you understand yourself better.

We don’t want you to use AI as a drug or substance, as something that takes away difficult feelings without building your capacity to deal with it yourself.

Both might feel helpful in the moment, and perhaps using it to regulate yourself might even feel easier, but only one of them helps you after the moment has passed.

It’s important to know that emotional development happens at many levels.

There is emotional work that happens inside of us — learning to sit with discomfort, learning to self-soothe, learning to recognise your patterns, learning to trust difficult feelings that they will pass, to make good choices even when emotions are strong.

And then there’s also the relationship work — to learn to communicate what you need, to handle difficult exchanges, and to repair when things go wrong.

When AI becomes your regulation tool, you outsource all of that work.

You never learn what actually helps you calm down.

You never discover the resilience that’s inside you.

You never build the confidence that you can handle hard emotions on your own.

And for relationships, real competence develops through imperfect situations, like when somebody misunderstands you, when you have to deal with disappointment, and when you learn how to be with others during hard times.

AI cannot give you any of that.

It is always available, always patient, always consistent, and it is that perfection that means you’re not exercising the muscles you need, both internally and also in your relationships.

AI cannot give you the good life that your emotional and social growth can give you.

So how do you tell which way you are using AI?

When you talk to AI, after you’ve talked to it ask this: “What am I going to do now?”

If your answer is that you’re going to try a coping strategy or make a decision or go and have a human conversation, you’re probably using it well.

If your answer is, “I don’t need to do anything, I feel better now,” then stop and pay attention to that because you have a problem building up that will not go away.

Another question that you can ask to check is: “Is this tool helping me understand myself or just helping me avoid my problems?”

So the choice is yours.

One way of using it will lead you to growth and to agency and to joy.

The other one is somewhere you don’t want to go.

Date: 2025-12-16
Gratitude 474 : Upworthy Write-Up (Image)
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7584383397045210386?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Date: 2025-12-16
Student Life Unplugged podcast. Series 3 is here! 🎙️
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7584291956075891975?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What is it like being a student in other countries?

“I’m Estra. I am from Kosovo.”

“I’m from a beautiful island of Sri Lanka.”

“I live in Nigeria.”

“I’m in Jakarta in the north of Java Island.”

“I’m from China and the province is called the Guangxi province.”

“I am from Bacabal in the state of Maranhão here in Brazil.”

Do we all learn the same way?

“I think Chinese school life is really high pressure.”

“The education in the public system is not great.”

“From the pressures of early learning.”

“If you are among the worst three, you get flunked in front of the assembly.”

Places where education is forbidden.

“During the war, a lot of Albanians, they were teaching in homes secretly.”

And the freedom of university days.

“If I got a time machine, definitely I would go to my university time.”

“I have to say that university life in China is the best.”

To explore how tragedy can have a lasting impact.

“My brother passed away and I got depression.”

“A few times, a lot of my family members were about to be killed.”

And find out what inspires people to learn.

“I want to be involved in people’s culture.”

“Yeah, I want to know what makes them them.”

Student Life Unplugged, Series 3, now available to listen to wherever you get your podcasts.

Your whole future depends on you. Trust your wings.

Date: 2025-12-15
Gratitude 473: Fear of missing out.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7583961924031892743?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

It’s going to be a morning of ironing for me.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I’ve got a lot done in terms of work and life, but my routine of doing my ironing has gone out the window.

It’s time to catch up on my rack of crinkly clothes.

Routines like ironing don’t make for good content, but it is where a good life happens.

Current online technology is not very good at directing us to the foundations of what makes life good for us.

There’s a lot of online stuff that’s really good at showing highlights, the things that are worth momentary attention.

It’s creating a fear of missing out for us if we miss out on those attention-grabbing things.

But perhaps the fear that should be strongest is the fear of missing out on our good life.

I appreciate you being here with me, truly I do.

But what I do here while I make videos is to get you to watch less of me, follow me less, and perhaps spend more time on the life you may be missing out on.

Date: 2025-12-14
Gratitude 472: The people you can trust.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7583663820179098888?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Yeah, the person you can trust is not some random guy like me in a video on your phone whose gender you don’t know.

It is the person you can see when you put your phone down and look up and realise has always been there for you.

Who is that person for you?

Date: 2025-12-13
Reflection 363: Speak to convey listening.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7583287765878525191?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

How do we speak in such a way to convey trust?

I’m thinking about this question because a few things happened to me that made this question very important for me.

I spoke at a panel discussion for a school yesterday, and it was interesting reflecting on how different people who spoke expressed themselves and how they built connection differently with the audience to say that they are trustworthy.

That was interesting.

But probably the more important event was when I spoke to my children after a discussion where I had to say no to them, to something they requested.

Did I convey to them that I listened to them and that I heard them in spite of the no?

It is important, but how do I tell if I did?

It’s probably a private matter between my kids and I.

Let’s instead talk about you and I.

Those of you who have listened to me for some time, or perhaps you are listening to me for the first time now, how do I convey I’m listening to you?

Some of you who have never said anything, never posted a comment, never directly interacted with me, do I convey to you I’m listening to you?

Can you feel I’m listening to you now?

Do you trust me?

If you do, do you know why you trust me?

And if you don’t, what happened that put a barrier to you trusting me?

Date: 2025-12-10
Reflection 362: Social media ban and positive conversations.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7582109280824839442?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

The Australian social media ban for under sixteens came into effect midnight last night.

And whether you’re one of those 15-year-olds who managed to dodge the ban for now, or whether you’re a parent or an educator or someone thinking about this, I’d like to share some positive perspectives about what is happening.

I like to do so because it is times like this where the negative pattern of attention-grabbing coverage and conflict is the highest.

You’ll see issues being presented as adversarial. It is about tech versus parents. It’s about freedom versus safety. It’s about experts versus politicians.

There are things that are presented as absolutes, for example, “kids are being destroyed by social media” or “kids’ rights are being taken away.”

There’s a search for who’s responsible, who’s to blame. And there are headlines like “a world first” and things like that.

All of these to me are noise.

I recognise them as noise not because the topics aren’t real or important. It is because after hearing them, I’m exhausted and they are about things I don’t control or have influence over.

And tomorrow there’ll be another set of these conflicts to be covered.

So instead of facing the exhausting noise, I try to think about and engage with productive positive issues.

I talk about the universal fact that parents love and care for our children regardless of our lifestyle choices.

How do we recognise that love and care? How do we celebrate that?

I talk about young people. Whether they are 13 or 16 or 25, they all have some sort of socialisation. It could be online, it could be offline.

But what does that socialisation look like that we’re trying to support?

This is all about the impact of rapid technological change, including people and social media platforms. We all share that.

But what is that impact and what is that experience?

I believe it is when we engage in those positive conversations of our common interests first, it makes it so much easier to tackle the difficult conversations about our differences.

So I’m sorry I don’t have exciting content about the social media ban for you.

I have no drama or headlines.

It’s pretty boring what I have to say.

If you want to engage in those boring conversations, you’re welcome to stay.

I’d love to talk to you in the comments.

But if not, I hope it goes well for you navigating that ban.

Date: 2025-12-10
Humanity and Humility (Image)
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7582094393155390728?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Date: 2025-12-09
Gratitude 471: Pet Rocks.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7581826750594731272?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m making pet rocks to sell in my church’s market day.

Have a look at this rock.

Looks pretty boring and plain, but look what happens when I put eyes in just the right spot.

That bit here just turns into a smile.

When I started doing this an hour ago, my plan was to slap on a couple of plastic eyes on each rock in this big bag and then be done.

But as I noticed how each rock has its unique features, I had to create something special by taking my time to find those features and bring those features out by placing the eyes at the right places.

This is the collection I ended up with.

One of the big challenges of life today is to decide how we want to treat people we come across.

Do we want to treat each one as an interaction, a transaction, dump them on the side and then move on?

Or do we want to take our time with each one to find what is special about that person and find ways to bring out what is special about them by giving them something special from inside of us?

Everyone has a smile we can bring out.

The question is if we can tolerate the slow routine to find it.

I hope you find the smiles in your pet rocks.

Date: 2025-12-08
Gratitude 470: Silence at the dining table.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7581380890664635655?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m taking a moment over my lunchtime to share with other parents about this common situation at dining table where people don’t talk and we feel like something is wrong.

I’m reminded of something that my nephew once said when he told me that he really appreciated all the times that his dad, my brother, took him to school and they would sit silently in the car.

He said that those memories meant a lot to him.

And he told me this in a podcast recording. So when my brother heard the podcast, he was very surprised and touched.

He thought that all the silence meant something was not quite right.

A lot of times we think that sitting together in silence doesn’t feel right.

But when we look at all the core values of being human, a lot of things are happening.

We are choosing to be together, to be present. We’re sharing the same space and the same time. It is, uh, repetition and it’s routine. It’s belonging together. It is comfort to be ourselves and not needing to perform.

So next time there are those moments of silence, enjoy what is happening. Enjoy that life maybe about those moments and realise that you are building something really worthwhile.

And I hope that helps you.

Date: 2025-12-04
Gratitude 469: Withholding opinions.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7579976168963656968?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Today’s gratitude I learnt from a friend of mine.

He’s a wonderful human being, a joy to be around. And one of the reasons he’s a joy to be around is because he doesn’t feel the need to push his opinions on others when he’s not asked.

Because I’m online so much, I feel the constant incentive to offer opinions because dramatic opinions get attention.

As a viewer and listener online, I’m also drawn to other people’s opinions because they demand attention.

But it’s a very heavy life to always be processing opinions.

The world seems to have a lot more opinions than is needed to keep the world running.

So when there’s someone who can keep the majority of his opinions to himself and just be present, it’s a joy to be around.

So today I’m grateful for people like my friend who knows how to carry their opinions, to nourish people around them with theirs, and be comfortable to withhold opinions to let the spaces around them breathe.

Date: 2025-12-02
Reflection 361: Attention is not all you need.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7579203210108259591?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m confident that the current AI technologies will not lead us to having anything that surpasses humans in terms of the quality of our work.

We’re now several years into the current AI revolution and in spite of all the hype, I haven’t seen AI generate a book that I want to keep on my bookshelf or a painting I’m happy to put on my wall or scientific output that changes my understanding of the world in any substantial way.

Advocates of AI will talk about discoveries, for instance in protein folding predictions and yes, they are interesting. But really in the scheme of things, the amount of money that’s poured in, the amount of processing power available, amount of outputs that has been generated, isn’t it weird we haven’t got a single product that can compete with human production?

Actually, it’s not weird.

It goes into what the real breakthrough is because most of AI technologies today rely largely on a single technological breakthrough, this architecture called the transformer.

It was described in a 2017 paper titled “Attention is all you need”. Look it up or even ask your AI chatbot about it. I’m sure it will confirm what I’m telling you now.

This transformer technology now powers most cutting edge AI development for the last 7 to 8 years. Language models, image generators, many more.

Transformers are amazing at recognising patterns and generating outputs from them.

It works on paying attention to the right things at the right time and they can generate outputs rapidly to create really impressive results.

They are very good at attention.

But attention is always momentary.

Meaningful work that humans do like books and paintings and scientific breakthroughs don’t come from quick fire attention grabbing outputs.

The work we value, they come from sustained effort over months or years or decades even. It involves constant revision and iteration and refinement.

We make ongoing judgments about what to do, what is important, what to pursue next.

Our work comes from us living through it, you know, from person to person interaction and collaborations with others.

Transformers can’t do any of this work that humans are amazing at.

They don’t pursue goals over time, don’t sit with ideas and let them develop and then return to them later. They don’t have a physical form to embody the experience that keeps researchers, artists going.

Whatever the transformer can produce, humans will win every time because humans have intentions and humans persist and humans, we have meaningful lives.

AI companies are now trying to build these agents or persistent systems that can do multiple tasks.

But these systems are largely combining transformers with older technologies like learning algorithms from my time, the 80s and 90s, classical planning systems, database technologies and so on.

Maybe they’ll prove me wrong but I’m not losing any sleep over whether they can match humans.

This revolution that came from the transformer is showing us exactly what attention can and cannot do.

It can generate momentarily impressive outputs, but we humans create things that last because we have intentions and we have memory and we have persistence.

We have embodied lives and genuine relationships.

What AI has is attention.

And maybe that’s all AI needs, is attention. But we humans need and we have so much more.

Date: 2025-12-02
Gratitude 468: Child.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7579199940572843282?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

What is the one job in the world that you won’t get promoted out of if you are good at it?

There’s this thing called the Peter Principle, which is that in every job, we are promoted out of our competency.

If you’re really good at being a teacher, you’ll be promoted to be an administrator.

Or if you’re a really good programmer, you’ll be promoted to be a manager.

No one good at something stays in their job.

But there is one job where if you’re good at it, you won’t get promoted out of it.

And that job is a child.

A child who is really good at being a child, is curious and playful and creative, learns and connects and develops.

A child that grows well never stops being that.

The best adults are the ones who never got promoted out of their inner child.

There are many temptations for us to apply the Peter Principle to our children.

If a child is really curious, we should get them to think more, organise more and plan more so they can do more with their curiosity, be more productive, able to lead others, be better rewarded.

And after a while, they’re not curious anymore, they’re not playful or creative. They stop learning and connecting and they stop developing.

We want a world where people stay in jobs they’re good at, we celebrate them and we reward them.

We don’t want a world where the higher we go, the people seems to be less competent in what they do, and they are rewarded for things they’re bad at.

To do that, we must take care of the children and the child in each one of us, so that when it comes time for us to make choices about education, about work, about lifestyle, we will choose to nurture our inner child, the one who is curious and playful and creative, the one who learns, connects and develops.

Date: 2025-12-01
#stitch with @Green Earth Organics Gratitude 467: Organic Carrots.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7578693607306071304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Why do carrots that are organic have to be certified organic?

This video from Green Earth Organics made a great point.

Why can’t the organic carrots just be called carrots and the non organic ones be called chemical carrots?

Why this is a relevant topic for us here is because our digital life is getting that way where our lives are enhanced through audio visual media, through platform amplifications and through AI that we find it hard to recognise genuine authentic human beings and what we’re made of.

I’m a proponent of technology. I wouldn’t be online if I’m not.

But the point of the technology is to make us better humans.

The other day my son was on a video call with his grandmother in Malaysia and he spontaneously jumped onto this electronic keyboard and he played a piece for his grandmother.

Yesterday my other son was connected this electronic kit to his iPad.

And he was so excited that he came and showed me telling me all about it.

None of these would have happened without the technology.

My point though is that the value of what happened is not in the technology. It is the sharing. It is the enthusiasm. It’s the smile and the laughter, it is the bonding that happened.

It is in my children learning and us learning with them.

We use technology to focus on those aspects of human life.

If our attention is not on those human aspects and our conversation is only about what features of this electronic keyboard or what the next tech that I can get for my son, then we just miss the most valuable part of what happened.

So go out and spend time with who you love, recognise their value just by them being with you.

Recognise inside you is a human being that is amazing and glorious and share that and celebrate that.

Because if we don’t, just like the carrot, we’re going to have to find a certification programme in the future for us to work out what is human.

Date: 2025-11-30
#stitch with @GROWTH™ Reflection 359: Introduce yourself.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7578475148701863186?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I heard a really good question a moment ago.

If you were to introduce yourself to me without mentioning your occupation, where you’re from, your ethnicity, your nationality, where you grew up and what your hobbies are, what your religion is, how would you describe yourself to me?

That’s a really good question.

I’ve had that conversation before with my kids because my kids don’t care what my occupation is, where I’m from, what is my ethnicity, my nationality, where I grew up, what my hobbies are, what is my religion.

They usually care only about the real things that connects us.

When my children and I had that conversation, I introduced myself as a balloon.

And we had a laugh because they understood what I was saying and I understood why they laughed.

The essence of introducing myself to someone is not telling them anything, but inviting them into a space where they feel safe and they feel free.

If I meet you, would you feel safe to share who you are with me?

How would you introduce yourself to me?

Date: 2025-11-29
Reflection 358: Invitation into a good space.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7578122113639386375?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

As I was scrolling on my phone this morning, I thought about what content and which creators I scroll past very quickly and which ones I stay and watch.

And it occurred to me that a lot of it has to do with what type of space the creator is inviting me into.

One thing I used to enjoy in my growing years was stand up comedy on TV.

But I found with social media now that comedy is a bit overwhelming.

Jokes do make me laugh and can momentarily entertain me, but so much of it is inviting me into a space of cynicism and mockery and picking on people to make fun of.

And sure, it’s helpful to laugh at life sometimes, but it gets overwhelming when it is there all the time and I find myself a bundle of negativity being triggered through the phone in my own home.

So I try to stay away from it now.

And having kids, it’s even more reason for me to be aware of what space I am creating in the home and what space I’m inviting them into.

Not just what they see on screens, but what they see in me as a person affected by the content I’m exposed to.

Am I turning cynical?

Am I more prone to mocking others?

Am I reflecting the world I want to see?

And am I consistent with the values that I live my life by?

I realised this morning that every choice about what I consume through my phone and what I create is a choice about what world I am building for myself and for my kids and for everyone who comes across and encounters me.

I would like to actively choose the good if I can.

Tell me about the space you are creating around you.

What are you inviting people into?

Date: 2025-11-26
Gratitude 466: Abundant life in a large family.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7577055069514829064?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m just unpacking after a week in Melbourne at a family reunion.

There’s a lot of laundry to do and work to catch up on.

We had a few good days of celebrations, a lot of food, a lot of catching up with people.

There were conversations about family history, looking through old photos, group visits to many places, including my cousin’s farm.

I have a huge family.

Here’s my family tree.

It’s a complete one for five generations and there are 137 of us on the tree, with 107 still alive, and 60 of us gathered in Melbourne last week.

I’m always grateful to have a family the size of mine, especially in the digital age where we are connected to so many people.

Growing up in a large family taught me how to live respectfully with many people in the same space.

To learn how to listen to the right voices at the right time.

To let others speak even when they say things that are not consistent with what I say.

And to find my voice, and to know when to use it and when to keep quiet.

Living in the digital age just seems like a natural extension of living in a large family to me.

And I’d like to leave you with this message:

There are a lot of reasons why I take care of myself, to make sure I’m healthy and to ensure that my life is in order.

I do that partially for myself, but mainly so I have the time and resources and space to contribute to the lives of my extended family, who I love, who in turn loves me and contributes to my life.

It is living in a self-feeding, self-sustaining and never-ending cycle of abundance.

I hope you find your extended family, even if not linked by blood.

And I hope you find your life of abundance.

Date: 2025-11-24
Reflection 357: Family and Filial Piety 孝
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7576265954934541576?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I would like to share with you how my parents taught me about family, a way that became the foundation of how I live out a life of love and belonging.

The central concept is filial piety, represented by the Chinese character Xiao.

Let’s look at the earliest form of this character from the Bronze Inscription age of the Chinese language, about 1000 BC.

The character represents the elder and the child.

During childhood, the child will face dangers and difficulties. When that happens, the elder steps in to shield them from harm.

When the dangers pass, the elder steps aside again so the child can play, giving the child the safety and stability they otherwise would not have on their own.

They live the life they are meant to live.

Within this environment of care, the child grows and the elder ages.

The child explores the world, moving away from the elder.

But over time, the elder becomes frail, unable to walk alone.

The child returns, places the elder on their shoulder, giving the elder the safety and stability they otherwise would not have on their own.

They continue the life they are meant to live together.

One day, the child will become the elder and support the next generation of children.

That is the natural order within the concept of filial piety.

Even today, the character Xiao preserves this wisdom, with the character for elder, Lao, above the character for child, Zi.

From this concept we see relationships, support, protection, freedom, growth, ageing and generations.

It is from the fertile ground of all these elements that the important aspects of life blossom:

love, gratitude, safety, belonging and, most of all, family.

That is my family.

That is my culture.

That is where I belong.

Date: 2025-11-18
Gratitude 465: Playing in a playground I don’t control.
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7573922478855081234?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m in Melbourne for a family reunion. Had a bit of an adventure getting here. Things that were out of my control. There were quite a few changes to my travel plans over the past two weeks. And then this morning when I got to the airport, the departure terminal was under construction. So was quite a long queue at a makeshift security screening gate. I got through late and a few more last minute adjustments to flights, all a bit out of control But I got here. So my kids are very good at doing that, adapting to find games when other kids in the playground want to play something different to what they planned. They can switch from monkey bars to sand play to or switch from… or switch to imagination games. It’s amazing just how quickly they adapt to changes in their environment. They’re so much better than I am. but when we mature, we learn to have capacity to control things in the world around us. So we learn to base our happiness on control rather than adapting. And that greatly reduces the opportunities for us to find happiness by adapting. Seems a big part of us, uh, growing up in the world today is learning to keep being happy, playing in the playground that we don’t control. So Melbourne will be my playground over the next week. I wonder what will rise for me to adapt to how much happiness I Can find in the opportunities to adapt in the world that I don’t control. If you’re in the Queen Victoria Markets area in Melbourne over the next week, give me a yell and I’ll adapt my schedule to catch up for a coffee with you.

Date: 2025-11-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7573624736362810632?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 356: Why are there no courses online to teach us to practice kindness to other people?

Today, I searched for courses online that teaches us how to practice kindness to other people, and I found none! That’s very strange because the one thing I hear most from people online about what makes a better world for us is to have more kindness. That implies that the amount of kindness is something we believe we can add to, something we can learn to do more of. So it is bewildering, based on supply and demand, that there isn’t an online course for something of this high demand. I’d love to know from you why you think that is. So is kindness practice hard to teach? Or is it that we all want more kindness to happen to us and to people we love, but we don’t want to be the one to change and practice kindness ourselves? No judgement, just curious. Let me know in the comments.

Date: 2025-11-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7573296259067333895?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @user33399684965 What an incredibly meta video that was!

Izzie I hope you realise just how meta and deep your video is you’re describing how architects are trapped in system that they didn’t design while explaining that as a content creator in a social media system that does exactly the same thing TikTok is built for fast and reactive content and deep and systemic thinking like yours aren’t supposed to work but your channel showing it is working people aren’t always going to behave the way that systems expect and I suspect architecture will find its way the same way that social media will find its way not because the systems want it to be but because people always build things that are meant to exist

Date: 2025-11-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7573226515140316424?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 355: Who I am…

I discovered a copy of my old website from 25 years ago. It still worked. So I registered domain and web host and made the site available. Follow my bio and there’s a link in my linktree. It is interesting looking at how I presented myself more than 20 years ago. There’s a lot of performance and showing highlights and trying to impress people was only starting out in life and work. And impressing people meant so much more back then than it does now. Think about the last 20, 25 years with the internet and online accounts and then social media spreading across the globe. Personal branding is very sophisticated now. There’s a lot of tools to use and a lot of instructions on how to do it. We can find a lot of experts telling us how to curate our public image. And I’m glad for these opportunities for young people to express themselves and discover who they are, to explore what they might be and find the best versions of themselves. I think we’re at an age now where we can be whoever we want to be but only on our own. Now the challenge is for us to work out, can we be who we want to be with other people? Can we be ourselves together or are we destined to be our perfect selves alone?

Date: 2025-11-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7572476859879886098?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 464: Parents and kids on social media

In my videos, I share with you things that happen to me as a parent. Although I never show my children’s faces or in any way that can identify them, in my channel, I try to find stuff that is meaningful. And my choices of experiences with my children to share is no different. One thing I regularly think about is how private these meaningful interactions are. Am I robbing my children of intimate moments by talking about them publicly? Are they less meaningful between my children and I when hundreds or thousands of people become part of those moments? That’s an important consideration that I think I want to keep always on my mind. Is a story on episode, does it risk being less intimate and meaningful between my children and I because I choose to take it outside of the close circle between them and I? And why do it? If what I’msearching for is meaning and I value the relationship with my kids, why risk losing that intimacy? Try to explain to you why I do it. First, it is an opportunity for them and I to discern between intimate moments that can be shared in public spaces and ones that are actually not shared. They can see that there is a diversity in our intimacy and some, just like us sharing moments laughing on a swing in the public playground, they are different from moments that we share when I tuck them into bed, deciding Together that public versus private uh what videos those are let us feel how diverse the love we have for each other is. The second reason is that I role model for them how to publicly express care and respect and pride in each other how much I want to shout at the top from of my rooftop to the world what they mean to me and show them in their future just how to express the things that is meaningful for them and the third reason and the last one I’ll cover today is to show them what happens when we share our relationship with a community. If you haven’t been here for very long, go read all the comments from lovely people who choose to be here. A lot are just passing by just for a moment but everyone creates a community that I want to share with the children and for my children to know about. There are no trolls and I have not removed or ban anyone. People at our core when given a chance express kindness and empathy and love for our fellow human beings and at some stage in the future my children will be old enough to decide how public they want to be and they may not make the same choices that I have made. They may choose not to have a public profile at all and I will support them regardless what they choose but when that happens, whatever they choose They would have had a childhood with social media being a part of their lives, how it has contributed to the positive ways they see themselves and their relationship to their father and to people around them, the way they see love and joy and pain express. And they would have had experience with a global community, one that includes you, that is nurturing and uplifting and worthy of every moment we have chosen to spend together here.

Date: 2025-11-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7571784001472548114?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
67. Don’t wait. Be grateful for sharing! Gratitude 463.

On the weekend, I was watching my kid play in an orchestra. And after his performance, he went and sat behind the stage with hundreds of other kids. And from the audience, I couldn’t work out where he was. Soin my seat, I did this to get his attention. So the other parents saw me and they laughed. But there’s one sitting beside me who was confused, and she asked, what does it mean? I had to tell her, if I wait until I understand something to share it, it may be too late.

Date: 2025-11-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7571447163570359559?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 462: Demon Bear.

I wanna share with you this comic book from Marvel’s New Mutant series. This collection from 1984 when I was 15 collection is called The Demon Bear Saga. There’s so much uh, intensity and energy that comes out from the artwork by Wilson Kevik, one of my favourite artists. And it’s pretty scary what comes out from the pages. These comics got me through my teenage years. The artwork and the stories being transported to a different world where the characters were dealing with struggles and the same growing pains that I, as I was going through. By immersing myself in their demons, I learnt to process mine. I learnt to deal with things that felt overwhelming back then, being misunderstood, having no one support me. Fighting demons of my own life is so much different now. What seemed impossible to deal with back then, the isolation and the fear of being seen, they are not battles anymore. And what I devote my attention to now, trust and integrity and joy. I never dreamt that I would ever care about those things. Back then. I couldn’t imagine a life where it was more than just surviving the day. I keep this comic book around as, um, a memory. It makes me think of what I might say to that 15 year old who was fighting his own demons as he read them. I think I would say fight to hold on to what is important for you, but hold on Lightly, because life will change. What you will fear today will not be what you fear in the future and beyond. Your fears are people who love you, who stand by you even when the fear makes it hard to see them clearly. Even when in your darkest hour, everybody seems scary. One day you’ll find that you can close the book on what once terrifies you. Those things hiding in the corner that you ran away from. You can stare at them now. You can see that however scary things seem, once they are out on the pages in front of you, share with people who love you. They are demons no more.

Date: 2025-11-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7571070089546517778?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 354: App Builders.

I received a message today asking me to be involved in developing a new app for building communities. I get a lot of these. I got a few the past few days. My answer to them is always the same. If the developer is part of a community and building the app for that community, I’m interested. If the app is being built hoping some communities will use it in future, I’m not interested, no matter how good the app is. The difference between the two is whether the developer is really committed to the community or to the app. Most apps, most technology is useful in some way. The problem isn’t whether they can benefit someone. It is the downsides brought about by the disruptions, the impact of the technology and who deals with these consequences. When apps are developed for a particular community with specific people, the impact is immediate and the developer has to deal with these issues immediately. And the project and people in it can mature from the start. If the developers say they have an idea that can change the world and can’t be held back by minor implementation issues for a small number of people, then those words tell me that they’re not looking for a community, they’re looking for a market. And that tells me it is someone I don’t have much interest in spending time with.

Date: 2025-11-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7570660447502847250?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @mem Why we have house rules? Reflection 353: the Constitution

Yes. My household rules is like a Constitution. And just like a Constitution, the challenge isn’t what’s in it. It is whether we use it to bring us together or we use it to beat each other over the head when things go wrong.

Date: 2025-11-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7570284338600840455?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 461: Sharing Gratitude for Gratitudes.

Today, my son said that I should do a gratitude video about gratitude. That makes me very happy because it means he has enough experience with gratitudes to recognise that the process of doing it brings more to us than the actual things we are grateful for. I’m grateful for having you share these moments with me. I hope my gratitude brings you moments of peace and I hope it triggers a moment of gratitude in you, too. Maybe after some time you’ll experience what I experience, and that is, it is less important what I share and more important that I share it.

Date: 2025-11-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7569973817746017554?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 352: Trust. I’d like to understand how trust builds on screen.

Do you trust me? Let’s talk about trust, the kind that builds across the screen. What is potentially between you and I right now as you listen to me? Is the trust building or is it diminishing? Think about the last 5 videos you watch. Did trust build or diminish with who you were listening to? I trust my mom unconditionally. She’s 90 and 6,000 kilometers away. She can’t keep up with what’s happening to me, what things I do and who is the person I am now. I can’t count on her to understand my work, my daily struggles, why I make videos at eleven PM at night. What I can count on is a lifetime no one can take away. What I can count on is unconditional love and I call that trust. Most of you who follow me probably know a lot more about me than my mom do. When I started out, I didn’t trust you enough to share some of the more vulnerable things about me. Now I do. How strange I can trust you when I know hardly anything about you. My kids at 10 years old meet and build relationships with people I know about. But sometime in the future, they will have strangers in their rooms at night and they might feel like what you and I feel right now, that a stranger on the screen understand them in ways that people around them don’t. And I can’t always be there. Just Like my mum can’t be with me now. Do you trust me more than you did 2 minutes ago?

Date: 2025-11-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7568855986111270151?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Financial Literacy for 10-year-olds PART 2. 

This is part 2 to financial literacy for 10 year olds. My boys are reaching an age where they’re ready for pocket money. And in the previous video I shared my family’s basic principles for money. In this one, I’ll do the next step, which is talk about what is money. In our family, we say that money represents value. And value always lives in relationships between people. Money is a tool for exchanging value. It shows our trust for each other. Pocket money is one way, not the only way, but one way to learn how value works between people. It helps us practice earning, saving, spending and giving, the basic parts of understanding money. When money comes to you, it means somebody values what you did. That’s called income. When you give money to someone else, you’re showing you value what they do. That’s spending or giving. Together. These movements teach us how value flows between people. Let’s look closer at each part of it. First, income. You earn money by adding value, by helping others, by solving problems or making something people want or need. Income isn’t just about what you do, it’s about how well you do it. Next is spending. When you have money, you can give it to someone who adds value to your life by helping you, by solving your problems or making something you want or need. Next is saving and investing. We don’t spend everything we earn. We save some. And Help it grow for the future. We’re saying that this money will be more valuable for the future me than to me right now. We’re looking out for our future selves. And the last thing today is budgeting. If you can be trusted with small amounts of money, you earn the chance to handle more. That means, uh, learning to keep track of it, being honest about it and, uh, learning how to use it and showing self control. These are the first steps in managing a budget. Pocket money is really a practice for life. Learning about relationships with ourselves, our family and the wider world. We grow by learning and understanding together with money as a helpful tool, not something that controls us. And that’s it for today. Please share in the comments how you explain money in your household. And watch out for my next video in this series where I’ll talk about what is value and how it works.

Date: 2025-11-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7568347785821555976?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 460: Serious videos 🤪.

Today I’m grateful for things that we have the privilege to see that other people don’t get the same. What are you doing here? Breaking up my creativity. I’m a 404. I’m a 404. I’m also watching someone. My young, struggling by many things. Fantastic. I’m a 404.

Date: 2025-11-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7568070264932617490?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @anakaliac – Reflection 351: AI, kids and a good life.

I wanna talk about the risks posed by AI to kids. I wanna thank @anacaliac for asking this question about how I introduce my children to AI in a safe way. I had to think about this for a few days because as a parent, it’s normally very triggering when someone asks about safety for my children. AI is definitely a risk and so is doom scrolling on social media. And don’t forget climate change. And what about crime and violence and all the turmoil that’s happening at schools and college campuses everywhere? There’s a lot I have to protect my children from. That’s my instinct as a parent. But why am I protecting them? To survive? Survival isn’tenough for me for or for any parent I know. I want my children to be happy, to thrive, to flourish, to live a good life. it’s when I get to this stage that I’m now talking about things like thriving, flourishing and living a good life without knowing what they mean. But I want them anyway because that’s what a parent does. We want something for our children we have no idea what it is. So what is a good life for my children? Let me park that for a moment when, while I tell you about my kids and a I, my kids are around 10. And at that age, they’re actually not very interested in AI. They think it’s cute, like a toy. They play with it for a bit and have a giggle and then they’re done and they go back to their lives because at 10 years old, they live a life in play and activities. They’re immersed in their emotions, in what’s happening in their bodies, enjoying each moment as it happens. They aren’t impressed by AI’s processing and reasoning capacity. They live outside of what AI can provide and they seem pretty happy. They seem to already have a good life. We adults however pay a lot of attention to AI. I for example, have learnt through years of education and social influence to overvalue what AI does well, like analysis and reasoning, information processing. I’ve made thinking the centre of everything and yet as adults, for all of our thinking and processing, we often struggle to feel as alive as children do. Where is our good life? The biggest risk for my children when it comes to AI is that they’ll go from not needing AI at 10 to believing at 18 that human beings means nothing more than being a thinking machine. The biggest risk is for them to learn from me that machines are better than they are. So back to the question, how do I introduce AI in a safe way to my child? when he sees an elaborate response from chatGPT and he asks me, what do you say daddy when he looks for me To show him, should I be more like chat G P t, or should I be more like you? What part of my humanity will I have to show him? Maybe the answer isn’t in how I introduce him to a I. Maybe it is in how I introduce him to being human. That thinking is only one part of us. That feeling, playing, being present in our bodies, these are not childhood phases to grow out of. They are what protect a good life for him.

Date: 2025-11-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7567608728476781832?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 459: Halloween 2025 I share what Halloween means to me on my very busy street on Halloween night.

It’s another Halloween at my street. Last night, here was my front yard. It was interesting. With storms hanging over the evening, the families still did their trick and treat, especially the little ones with their costumes and teenagers out in their packs. Here’s a game I had. People had to find ingredients in the garden and throw into a cauldron to cast a spell. And they must include a note to their guardian angel. Here’swhat people wrote, love notes to their moms and dads, to their neighbors. We sometimes get distracted by the decorations and the costumes and the treats, but at the heart of every Celebration is the sharing and bonding and love that chase away our ghosts.

Date: 2025-10-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7566499731296226578?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 458: Household Rules for Money & Tech.

My boys are reaching an age where they’re ready for pocket money. So while I was drafting them, these are rules for the introduction to money, I realised that these are the same rules that we already have for their tech and screen use. So I’ve combined them into one set. Then something even more important occurs to me that these are rules that I should keep for myself as an adult. So I thought it would be interesting for me to share them with you and then, uh, you tell me just whether they resonate with you. So the main rule is that money and tech are tools to help us grow. They don’t make us happy. Being kind and working hard and spending time with people we love, that makes us happy. Then we have the five house rules. No. 1, we do important things first. We sleep well, we eat healthy, we play outside, we do homework, we do chores. Those are always things that comes first with no exceptions. Then rule number two, that we learn small before we do big things, that we practice spending $2 before we try to spend $20, that we try playing with small apps before we jump onto big platforms. We learn by biting off what we can chew. And rule No. 3, if we show healthy signs, we get more. And if we have warning signs, we get less for using money and tech. If we sneak around and Hide we uh throw tantrums when we don’t have it and uh we think about it all the time we forget important things then when there are those warning signs it all goes away rule No. 4 is that mistakes are okay but hiding mistakes is not we talk openly about some mistakes we learn and we try again so honest kids and adults get more stuff by building trust first and rule No. 5 is that our jobs is to be ourselves. A kid’s job is to be a kid not to solve daddy’s adult problems like earning money. My job as an adult is to deal with my problems not to solve other people’s problems people that I cannot control. Then a final point here is that money and tech is to bring us together. It is to remind us that we love each other and we learn and grow together. Children love routines like this. It grounds them and gives them an environment where they are safe and they and they can trust so they can go out and play and have fun and adults like me is no different. These rules may not turn out to work for us and we’ll change them as we need but at least for today is teaching me as an adult that I should concentrate on myself so I hope this helps you too.

Date: 2025-10-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7566252515780594962?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 350: AI for kids.

I was at a seminar today. The topic was a I for kids, friend or foe. It was an important discussion by a panel made up of important people all addressing genuine and urgent concerns about a I safety. At this seminar, they had a Q&A section where audience members can submit questions and the questions that get the most votes get presented to the panel. Among all the important questions, there was this one. If a I was on the panel, what might it say? And it was signed off as chat G P t. This question got no votes and it never got presented and we can see why. It’s not a very serious question, is it? We can’t be wasting time of an important panel and being distracted from important issues by this seemingly pointless question. Only that is the type of question that a child would ask. Playful and naive, not very serious. We may not want to answer a question like this in a serious panel discussion, but how many of us know how to answer it if a child asks? The debate surrounding AI and children isn’t just about AI. It is also more importantly about our relationship as adults with our children. A big reason children are drawn to a I is not that a I is a friend, it is that a I listens to them no matter how good or bad their responses are. When the child prompts, the machine does Everything to respond to every word. When television came along, parents told children that movie stars aren’t their friends, but children idolized them anyway. When rock and roll came, parents told children that rock and roll stars are not their friends, but children listened to them anyway. We can’t all make movies and we can’t all sing rock and roll. We can, however, all talk. A I learnt from us the skills of connecting with our children by talking. Skills we taught it skills we know and we can have, but most of us refuse to use. We want our children to be safe, but how can they be safe in a world where adults don’t listen to them and machines do? So back to the question, if a I was on the expert panel, what might it say? Maybe it’ll say, I’m listening. Are you?

Date: 2025-10-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7565489434666257672?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 457: share crazy.

Today, I’m grateful for crazy desserts where you can’t even work out what’s in it. Are these frog eggs? This is the crazy frog. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Bam, Bam.

Date: 2025-10-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7564957495815408903?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Benjamin Currie

Like to talk about kindness online by using a comment that I received on a video. I made a video about acceptance of our human imperfections by talking about a broken doorbell at my house in India. I said that if I have 100 appliances and each one of them have a one percent chance of breaking down, then everyday I will have a broken down appliance. And Benjamin uh sent me a kind message pointing out that the math is incorrect. I thought about it and yes, he’s right. I think the percentage should be point nine, nine to the power of 100, which is about 63%. But regardless, I wanna look at the message and my response to it. The Balkon message is a comment about the mistake that I made with mathematics. But notice how he prefaced it with the line, I fully appreciate the message behind this example. And then he ended it by saying, please don’t take this to mean that I’m mocking your comment. So these lines significantly change the context of the message. But imagine if the comment came without the first and last line. What might my response be? So I might start to get defensive and say what you’re saying is irrelevant to the video or I might say more bluntly, your math is also wrong. Then the conversation would have shifted to a harmless comment about mathematics to a heavy emotional exchange. In this case, Benjamin has the ability to Significantly change the context by using a lead in to his point and a lead out of it. A lot of comments online though do not have these context lines. It could be when we make comments that we’re in a hurry so go straight to the point or we’re talking to someone who understands the context but somebody who reads the comment doesn’t or it could be a young person, 16 year old just starting out on the internet and just sharing a thought about mathematics. In many different types of people with many different situations participating in online conversations today globally, we have this problem of algorithmic amplification of outrage. And to me this problem, there are two aspects to it. First is the mechanism. So a lot of authorities are now pushing platforms to address that so that we design systems that doesn’t amplify outrage. But my role is the second aspect of it, which is the content itself. Am I putting negativity into the public system for the platforms to amplify even if it’s very mild? Because one mild message is annoyance. 1 thousand annoyed messages is outrage. When I receive a message like Benjamin, which is wrapped in kindness, it’s easy to respond graciously. But what about when I receive a comment without those context lines? When it’s a a very blunt correction or dismissive comment, something that I feel is harsh or it’s unfair. It is when I feel those emotions that’s when I Need to work on as a father. I’m concerned about the outrage in the world today. The question I ask myself a lot of times is, when someone says something to my children and they’rehurt by it, what do I do? Yes, I might need to communicate to the other person that, so that they are aware of the impact of their words. But to me, as a father, it is more important that I help my children deal with their emotions and find their own kindness in responding to, to look at good intent if it is there, to assume misunderstanding before believing that the other person is malicious, to respond in a way that doesn’t feed this cycle of hurt. I especially have to work on my own emotions as a father so I don’t inject my own outrage into the situation. Because if I model defensiveness or outrage on their behalf, they’ll learn to do the same. And they’ll learn that when they’re hurt, the appropriate response is to amplify the hurt, to feed it back into the system. The greatest source of outrage amplification is our hearts when we are hurt. For me, the solution I can work on is to try and receive difficult feedback with Grace, how to respond to bluntness with, um, generosity, how to break the cycle rather than perpetuating it. Then maybe will have, will be part of a solution rather than the problem. I want to thank you all. For the comments you leave on my videos and the spirit of curiosity and kindness you have shared with me. I look forward to our conversation that we continue to have.

Date: 2025-10-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7564347505652075784?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 456: Finding my values on the Internet.

Updating my core values today, I made these 5 years ago to hang on my wall to be the first thing I see when I come home. They reflect my values at the time, calmness, balance, gratitude, humility, harmony. They were mostly intentions, ideas about who I wanted to be. The internet helped me to discover what these words really mean, to test them against how I actually lived. When I started building online communities, student forums, discord servers, chat groups, I thought I was creating spaces for connection. But the experiences showed me that the connection is only the method, community is the purpose. And at the core, what is actually important for me is togetherness. People growing, learning, supporting each other. Over time. When I started sharing publicly, I did what everybody else did. I performed, made highlights, gained attention. What surprised me though was that the more I reflect, the less polished I became, the deeper people connected. When I was honest about contradictions and mistakes, about not having answers, the engagement with people became more meaningful and deeper. I don’t share everything. A lot of my life stays private. I slowly Learned to keep healthy boundaries between public and private. But all my experiences, private or public, either reinforce or evolve my core values. And it is the values themselves I share publicly. Online digital spaces is always a test. Just like life is challenging. Words, misunderstandings, algorithmic amplifications, everyday the same question, can I keep My true values or are my values something else? Through conversations with viewers and community members, with myself, I saw what those values mean and how they hold together. The internet didn’t give me those values, but it revealed to me what they really are and arrive at what are my core values today? Equanimity, wholeness, togetherness and harmony. The world is what I make of it. The internet reflects back what I put into it. I choose to make my corner of the internet a place I practice my values and the internet in turn made them real.

Date: 2025-10-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7564283295798693138?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 348: Group 7.

Am I in Group 7? I suppose I am. Are you? I don’t know what it is or what it means. The question isn’t what is it? It’s whether any of us can resist looking it up.

Date: 2025-10-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7563988083041996050?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 347: Legacy.

Reading through writings my dad left behind, pages and pages from his final years that he wrote about family trees and genealogy in history and stories. He wanted to leave something behind, something to become his legacy. And he did. And sitting here late in the evening, holding on to his handwriting, I feel it too, that same pull to leave something meaningful. What am I leaving behind for my children? Everyone feels this, this need to outlast our mortality. We make monuments and build buildings and create great works of art. We start organisations that outlive us. We reach for something permanent because we know that our bodies are not. But is legacy to leave something behind or is it to allow those left behind to move on? It’s a true legacy to leave an imprint on someone’s heart and give them permission to let that imprint fade if that’s what their lives lead them to. Love lasts forever the moment we let go of it. I read the words my dad left me. But more than that, I feel the love he left for me that has room to grow because it’s not stuck on pages. My dad didn’t leave monuments for my children to see when they grow up. Their children may not even know his name, but his legacy will be in each one of them, just as mine will be.

Date: 2025-10-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7563951914904325384?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Virtual Listening Tour: Bangladesh.
ভার্চুয়াল লিসেনিং ট্যুর: বাংলাদেশ

This video is for you in Bangladesh. Are you feeling exhausted by social media? So much misinformation, so many people talking, no one really listening. Many young people in Bangladesh say that misinformation and pressure online are among their biggest sources of stress. Does that apply to you, too? I work in youth education and community development. From Australia, I’m on a listening tour to your country. Use your voice. Tell me what is really like for you and I’ll bring your stories to wider attention.

Date: 2025-10-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7563608011621682440?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 346: My incontinence problem.

I have an incontinence problem. I had it since young. My most embarrassing episode though, was in my 40s when one day minutes from home, I felt the urge to pee. I stopped my car and rushed into a shopping centre to the toilet, but I couldn’t hold it in and before I got there, I wet my pants. It’s a vague memory for me in the middle of the shopping centre as to how many people saw it. I do remember rushing back to my car. I went home, cleaned everything up and cried. Statistics say that up to 10% of young men and over 30% of older men experience incontinence. We also know that only one in three seek help. 98 out of 100 of us feel ashamed because of it. I feel ashamed talking about it. Even now. I feel embarrassed I had that episode. I find it hard to fit that into my self image as a man. This video has taken me over 15 years to make. I’m in a better position now than 15 years ago. I’ve Learned to talk publicly about vulnerabilities I have, communities I trust. I can share without consequences. You may not have that. And even if you do, I do not suggest you share your private health details on social media the way I’m sharing it now. The reason I’m doing it is because if you do have this problem and you feel ashamed, I want you to think About what you felt when you heard me tell you my problem. Whatever you felt, I am certain you did not feel. I am shameful and deserve to be embarrassed. I want you to know that the shame you feel for yourself is not likely to be the feeling of the person you share it with. I want you to look at the responses in this video and see how people actually care. I think part of being a man, part of being a role model for boys is choosing to talk to our doctors for things we need help with. Despite our embarrassment, my condition is well managed now with help. I’m making this video for you who may have this condition to prompt you to talk about it with people who can help you. Perhaps you can refer to this video as a conversation starter. If you don’t have this problem, please share your reaction in the comments. Show others what care looks like when someone reaches out to talk about what is embarrassing for them. Thank you.

Date: 2025-10-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7563215344702164232?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 455: The lightness of problems

Children, let me tell you something very curious about adults. Do you notice how grown UPS talk about problems and it sort of goes out of control and we get stuck? It’s very strange, isn’t it? Because you have problems like when your friends didn’t do what you wanted in your game this afternoon, but you went on and play the game anyway, and the game was still fun, wasn’t it? But adults seem to hang on to our problems and we take it home in the evenings, we rant about it at the dinner table, or sometimes we pretend it doesn’t bother us when it seriously does. The next morning we’re still bothered. It’s very heavy. How do we go through life like that? Do you think you can bottle up some of your hope and curiosity so you can take it like medicine, so we can sit with our problems and still look forward to tomorrow? Wish there’s a balling machine like that. Oh, well, at least you’re not dragged down by it, are you?

Date: 2025-10-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7562915071668604167?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 345: Everything I want.

What if I get everything I want? Do you ever think about that? I do. Wouldn’t it be nice? More than nice, would it be perfect? I mean, what else is there besides everything I want? But then I think about the day after when I have everything, when I wake up in the morning, what do I do? Do I sort of mope around? Where do I go? Who’s there to see? What’s there to do? If my kids climb into my bed, as they do in the mornings and start chatting with me, do I even care? I already have everything I want. So stuff them, right? Maybe what I want is not to get everything I want.

Date: 2025-10-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7561718038102281490?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
What is the main reason you watch my videos?

I just opened the bulletin board here on TikTok and I posted this poll. It asked, and the question isn’t very well worded, but what I meant to ask is, what is your main reason for watching my videos? And the options are for calm and peace, to find meaning, for human connection, for enjoyment, and for new perspectives. Incidentally, these are my main reasons for making videos. They are for my own calm and peace. They are for me to find meaning, for me to find human connection, for my enjoyment, and for me to find new perspectives by exploring perspectives. Regardless of the poor question wording, uh, most of you have indicatedis for new perspectives. I’d like to understand more of that. Bulletin boards doesn’t allow us to have conversations. So I’m posting it here. Love to hear from you what you mean by new perspectives and in what way does that impact you? Right. let me know in the comments. Thank you.

Date: 2025-10-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7561359353521999122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 344: Who is listening on social media? #socialmedia#socialmediaban

As Australia head towards the December social media ban for under sixteens, there’s a lot of debate about harm and access and enforcement. As a parent, I only have one concern that cuts through all of that. Where among all the debate on social media is anyone listening? There’re countless people talking, posting and commenting and broadcasting into the void, but I can’t find anyone actually listening. My boys will one day be 16, navigating social media as they learn how to be an adult. That’s where they’ll be learning how adults communicate. How would they ever learn to not just keep talking and talking and talking? Where do I point them to, to say, look here, people do listen. To you if you are 16, are you waiting for your turn to talk? What do you want to tell me? I’m listening.

Date: 2025-10-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7561086751847140626?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 343: Endings

As a parent, I say to you, the only thing I want for you is to be happy. Thing we pursue for every story is a happy ending. But endings are not meant to be happy. In every ending, there’s something we lose. Someone is leaving, someone is dying. Ending comes with sorrow and pain. As a parent, I wish for you to be happy knowing that you will face pain when things end. Why bring you into this world when there is so much pain? The pain is from the love. We cannot carry forward because something we love is ending. Someone we love is leaving, someone is dying. That love has no way to go until it transforms into a new purpose. Always remember, when you cry at an ending, you are holding love. And that love will one day find a new purpose. That is its meaning. That’s why you hang on to it for the day the new purpose comes when your love will blossom once more.

Date: 2025-10-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7560606206507650312?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 454: My joy now.

Where is joy in my life? Look at all the books on the self help shelf in the bookstore, all the promises of complete lives, total transformations and perfect systems. And I’m grateful for them. I really am grateful that people care enough to write them, that we care enough to learn from them. But maybe joy is giving myself permission to not be as complete as the books tell me to be. What maybe the amazing transformation isn’t today I can let myself be here and now. Maybe today I don’t need to walk out of here with another book. Today I just take out my phone and make a TikTok. That’s my joy now.

Date: 2025-10-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7560579174281383175?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 342: Socially imperfect people.

I’m having problems with my front doorbell. It won’t charge because it’s part of a home security package. I called the security company to report the fault and they said it will take 5 to 10 days to get a technician here. That’s inconvenient. I need the doorbell and the camera on it to handle deliveries when I’m not at home and I’ll have to now disrupt my schedule to accommodate the technician’s visit. Normally when I’m sold things, I’m sold on an image of perfection. No breakdowns, no disruptions. But that’s not possible. I think about the mathematics of imperfections. If household appliances like this break down 1% of the time, and I have 100 of them, then statistically everyday I’m dealing with something breaking down. Some people minimise their appliances exactly for this reason. The less they have, the fewer the disruptions. But what about human beings and our rate of imperfection when we say the wrong thing or when we fail to show up for each other or we don’t know how to comfort someone or when we’re clumsy with our words or we’redisappointing in supporting someone? If I have 100 people I know and we each say the wrong thing just 1% of the time, then everyday in my life someone is letting me down or I’m letting them down. None of us are social experts. Every interaction carries the risk of fumbling words or unhelpful comments. Many people isolate themselves. They hate being let Down by friends or dealing with awkward or hurtful comments, people who don’t know what to say. So the less people that they know, the less problems there are. But that compounds the problem for the fewer people that we know. When they say the wrong thing or we do, the disappointment is even deeper. Some people isolate themselves completely. They say they don’t need family or friends. They’re fine by themselves. But of course, they’re not. We now have an epidemic of loneliness. Perhaps we should instead learn how to deal with socially imperfect people and present ourselves as socially imperfect people we are and learn to live with each other’s awkwardness and our fumble attempts and our well meaning but sometimes unhelpful actions. So I’ll be without my doorbell for a few days and I’ll handle it. I’ll get to practice how to react when things are not as perfect as I wish them to be.

Date: 2025-10-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7560164000693046546?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 341: Listen to what I say

I find sometimes that when people don’t listen to what I say, I say it louder and to even more people. When I have a chance to think about it, I realised I was trying to convey to them something about myself that I don’t like. And I thought if I say it loud enough and to enough people, people validate me or something. I’m not willing to validate myself. Yesterday, I told someone to keep life simple. And later I realised the reason I was telling him that was because I wasn’t keeping my own life simple. Funny how we tell others things we don’t want to admit ourselves. And it’s funny also that when I stop telling people things and I start working on myself, people suddenly listen more. Isn’t that strange?

Date: 2025-10-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7559916108208147720?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 453: Two Malaysian Ringgit.

In 1988, when I left Malaysia to study in Australia, my grandmother gave me these two Malaysian ringgit notes as a gift to congratulate and encourage me. She lived a humble life and she didn’t have much money, but she deeply valued education and she took immense pride in seeing her grandchildren pursue higher studies. She loved us all deeply. I kept these notes even though today the monetary value is less than that of a lollipop. Yet to me, they hold greater worth than all of my assets and every dollar in my bank account. My grandmother passed away while I was overseas and never had the chance to say goodbye. I completed my degree and build a successful life. I’m blessed with two wonderful children. I look forward to the day when I become a grandparent myself and can offer a meaningful gift to my grandchildren as they embarked on their life’s journey. And to them, I’ll say the true worth of something isn’t measured by its commercial value, but by the emotional connection it holds to the love passed from one person to another. You representthe culmination of generations before you, shaped by their love and care. And always remember you are loved more deeply than you could ever know.

Date: 2025-10-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7559179525687364872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 452: the sound of inner virtues 陰德.

What do you hear when things are quiet, in those moments when nothing is happening? For instance, the times just before you fall asleep or just as you’re waking up. I’m at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport. I’m waiting for my flight back to Brisbane. I came early, a bit too early maybe. So now I have a few hours of quiet time just to sit and reflect. I’ll miss my family and friends I caught up with this past week. At the same time, I’m ready to see everyone at home again, especially my children. And in quiet times like this, there’s a sound that I hear. It’s a quiet, lingering presence. There’s a Chinese concept called yinta. It means hidden virtue or inner virtue. It is the good that you do that no, when no one is watching. It is the kindness that you show without expecting any credit for. It is making the right choices. It is goodwill, karma or Grace accumulated over a lifetime. My virtues come in relationships to others. They’re tied to the family I just spent time with and friends that I’ll see again. And it is tied to the children that’s waiting at home for me. These connections, showing up for them, caring for them in ways big and small, this is what forms my inner, my inner virtues. Every interaction, genuine presence adds to that accumulated virtue. And over time, it creates something like music that is silent, something that resonates. With peace, it is like sounds of chimes during meditation. I can hear it in moments when things are still. Now, we live in a world of social media. It is made of, made up of personal brands, public personas. I’m here, I post, I share. I put a lot of things that’s inside of me out there. And I wonder when I put my stuff out there, can you hear the sound of my inner virtues? Can you hear the peace? Because this paradox, when every action on social media is visible and very public, the, the intentions behind them remain hidden. When I get, when I engage online, am I genuinely trying to connect to others, to help others, to contribute something meaningful? Or am I performing for pride, for metrics, for likes? Two people can post exactly the same content. One will accumulate hidden virtues and the other one just accumulates likes. The difference is invisible to everyone else, but it is not invisible to me. I’m the person I cannot fool because no amount of carefully crafted posts can trick me if my intentions are genuine. I know deep down, I always know the sound of inner virtues. I can’t fake it to myself. So in these quiet moments at the airport, I’m listening for that sound, for what is true. Maybe youhear it too in your quiet moments, that sound that tells you who you really are. Hear your inner virtues. Hear the true You.

Date: 2025-10-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7558489738122939655?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 340: Amplification

I sometimes think about the time I spend on social media. Do I feel more peaceful and lighter, more uplifted? Normally I don’t. Let’s explore what’s happening. This video is about an important aspect of the online world called amplification. Every post, every video, every comment makes something louder. The biggest thing being amplified on facts or truth, it is emotions, anger, fear, sorrow, euphoria, triumph, righteousness. They spread fast because they get reactions. And reactions feed themselves and grow. If a point of view is presented with elevated emotions and the reaction to that point of view are presented with emotions that are just as elevated, the result isn’t some average middle ground. The result is compounding emotions. This is the dominant experience on the internet. It is loud and it is heavy. The question for myself is, do I have the groundedness to meet elevated emotions by dissipating it? Do I learn emotional awareness and regulation so that the amplification stops with me?

Date: 2025-10-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7557966787174862098?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 451: Friendships over 40 years.

Over the past few days while in my hometown of Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, I’ve met up with some old school friends. We still keep in touch on WhatsApp over the years. It’s strange sometimes catching up with friends I’ve known for 40 years and reflect on the people we were, the life we’ve LED and who we are now, how different we all are now. It is comforting, though, to have friendships that span decades. Sometimes I think about the things we used to fuss over, what we argued about, get on each other’s nerves. All of that hardly matters now. What remains is friendship and care and love for each other. We have a whole new set of things to fuss over in our conversations now. And I wonder how many of those will matter years down the track. Beyond those issues that we squabble over, what is behind our real relationship that can last cross decades? What are your relationships like? What do you fuss over? What will matter years down the track?

Date: 2025-10-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7557211644187757831?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
AI as a teacher.. Is it ironic? (IMAGE)

Date: 2025-10-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7556193695033216274?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 339: A parent’s response to Cebu Earthquake.

An earthquake have just hit Cebu in the Philippines. There is a lot of devastation. There are many people dead. If this news is relevant to you, this is probably flooding your social feed right now. Close to 10% of people who follow this channel are from the Philippines, many from Cebu City. I’ve consistently said that the big reason this channel exists is to share positive content. I’m happy for my kids to see there are a lot of people sharing about the earthquake right now. Here is my version, the parents response. I’m happy for my kids to see. First, to anyone in Cebu watching right now, to anyone who has family there, to anyone waiting for phone call, for message that hasn’t come yet, I’m sorry there are no good words on social media that change the reality for you. But you’re not alone in waiting and hoping. Now to the rest of us watching from a distance and to parents especially, your kids might be seeing this. They might have questions, they might be scared. And we as parents and guardians are wondering what to say, what to show them, how to help them make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. This is what I’m doing. Maybe it helps you too. First, I’m not showing them the graphic images. I’m not sharing and amplifying the graphic images. They don’tneed to see devastation, the injuries, the deaths up close. Not because I want to shelter Them from reality. But because witnessing trauma does not lead to understanding and caring better, they can know something serious has happened. They can know people are hurting. They can care deeply without seeing images that will stay with them in their minds long after they’re useful. What I choose to say is, yes, an earthquake hit the Philippines. Yes, people died. Yes, that’s incredibly sad. And then I’m showing them something else. I’m showing them the helpers. Because in the middle of the devastation, there are neighbours who are checking up on neighbours. There are medical teams working through the night. There are communities who are organising water distribution or setting up evacuation centres or coordinating relief. There are people who in the worst moments of their lives are coming and showing up for each other. What I want my kids to see is what humans do when things fall apart. We care and we help. Being honest with you, my first instinct when I see the news is to share everything. Every scene of fear and panic and every collapsed building and every mound of rubble where bodies are underneath. I feel compelled to post everything, to say something because it feels wrong to just not do anything. But does it help? Does it help to add to the noise by broadcasting my own distress in the middle of what is already a lot of distress? Does it help for children to see I am overwhelmed by the Tragedy that I can’t stop watching and scrolling, that I shout at authorities for imperfect responses, that I pick fights online with other people who have different views, that I display rage and not get help for that rage. Is the world safer for them when children see adults being more emotional and scared than them in the middle of a tragedy? When we see something terrible, we think I should pay attention, I should stay informed, I should witness this. There’s a clear line between being informed and being overwhelmed, between witnessing something and just staring. I don’t need to consume every piece of tragedy to prove I care and neither do my children and neither do you. Caring isn’t measured by how much suffering I can look at. It is measured by what I do with the caring. Once I see suffering, I can help by finding out what people in Cebu are actually saying they need help with. I can help by donating to recognise a services on the ground. I want my children to witness and learn that when bad things happen, we find out how to help, that we support people doing the work, that we stay human and useful and present. And even when things are scary, I don’t have it figured out. I don’t think anybody does. Maybe this video will turn out to make things worse. I don’t know. We’re all trying to navigate this weird world where disasters happen far away. But show up in our face immediately, where our children can see everything we see, where the line between being informed and being traumatized is thinner everyday. Anyway, that’s what I have to say, imperfect as it is, a parent’s response to a tragedy.

Date: 2025-09-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7555652306482629896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 338: Entertainment as a solitary activity.

I’m in the Singapore Changi International Airport in transit to Malaysia to visit my mom and my family. Now, one special thing about the Changi Airport is that he never sleeps. It is midnight here and there is still an endless amount of entertainment. You can engage in everything from window shopping to indoor parks to fitness playgrounds. But you will notice that none of it encourages people to do it together. If you choose to, you can do it with family and friends, but the activity and the providers don’t actually encourage you to do it together. Entertainment is presented as a solitary activity that you can do it alone, which is very unfortunate because that’s not natural. As a parent, I noticed that these children never want to play in the playground by themselves. When they’re in the playground, they’ll look for other kids to play with. And young people when they play games online, also don’t play by themselves. Most games aren’t fun unless you play with other people. It is unfortunate then that as they grow to adulthood, adults present ourselvesas being naturally alone. Look at all the highly popular personalities online. How many of their partners and teammates and collaborators can you name during their lifetime? Most people present as if they achieved a success going in alone, which is never the case. So to young people out there, stick to your natural instinct to connect to other people, find people to play with And study with and work with. Build a life and an environment around you where you’re connected to your family, friends and workmates and other people that you live your life with. Make that your lifetime habit, and you will do well.

Date: 2025-09-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7555464162726595848?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 450 : Choose Kindness (IMAGE)

Date: 2025-09-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7555076751039237394?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Join me in finding a happy life. Reflection no. 337

There’s a lot of stuff online to help us find happiness, but do you find that the more you’re engaged, further away from happiness you are? I like to share with you what’s up with that. First, let me tell you about my kid’s dance performance a few weeks ago. I have photos for that performance of him performing when he took his bow with the audience applauding and the cheers and celebrations when the performance was over. But all of those highlights put together were maybe about 10 minutes in total. You know what made it a truly happy experience? It was the long hours of watching him practice, of seeing his quiet moments with teammates, the drive to the performance, the chatting about what’s for dinner after the performance. The happiness is not what photos can capture. It is in us. It is in me. Everywhere online I’m bombarded with everyone’s highlight reels and hot takes about what can make me happy. Another viral success that’s supposed to inspire me. It’s another public drama that stresses me out or another lifestyle video that makes me feel like I’m left behind. I have to focus so much on chasing the highs and avoiding the lows that I’m missing where happiness actually exists in all those ordinary moments in between. A happy life isn’t built from highlights and low lights. It’s built from learning to find joy in my normal everyday existence. The quiet conversations, the small gestures, the unremarkable Tuesday afternoons if you’re young, you going to want to chase those highs and lows. That’s where it looks like the money is, where fame and celebrity awaits you. I get it. I chased those when I was young and I can’t tell you not to chase them. There are plenty of people and resources to help you with that journey. I’m not here for that. But if your dreams are BIGGER than fame and fortune if you’re not willing to settle with just money and celebrity, if you want something MORE, something DEEPER, to have a good life, to flourish, to thrive, to live your life fully with the life you already have, then I’m here for you. Over the last 3 years in this account, I have found a community here all looking for this happy life. If you want to be a part of it, you don’t have to do anything to join. There is no program to subscribe to. There are no applications to make. You belong when you are committed enough to belong. You belong the moment you believe enough to see the goodness that is in YOU and in the people around you, even when they disagree with you. You belong when you express the kindness that comes from being able to see the goodness in everyone. You BELONG because you are meant to belong here. If you are searching for happiness, the algorithm will probably know and will show you something that supposedly get you there in the next video or the next one or the one after that. You can chase those or you can stay and see that the happiness is in you. The world is what we make of it. My world and my children’s world, the happy one, is already here. Where is yours?

Date: 2025-09-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7554693332719373575?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 336: Wedding vows.

Is a vow worth making when we can’t guarantee we can keep it? Today, I helped out at a wedding at my church. I heard another couple make their wedding vows to have and to hold until death do us part. And I watched from the back of the church and I wondered how I can stand there and celebrate another two people making those vows when statistically about half of them won’t keep that promise. And having gone through marriage separation myself, shouldn’t I be devoting more attention to giving them a reality check than celebrating with them? I’ll return to that question in a moment. Let me tell you about another vow I make quite regularly, which is daddy will love you always. I say that when I tuck my kids to bed. I wonder if anyone has the statistics of dads being able to keep that promise. I’m guessing it’s not hundred percent. However, if the promise is something I can guarantee, like the sun coming up tomorrow morning, do I even need to make a vow? Vows are meaningful precisely because they are fragile and cannot guarantee them. When I say daddy will love you always, it is a commitment that in spite of my limitations, I will do everything I can to make it come true. In the future, they remember me saying I love them, that they also remember when I had my bad days, I still tried to love them when they didn’t. Do what I expected. I still tried to love them. And they grow up in an environment where we choose love daily, not just make a promise once or twice. A vow is not a statement about chances or predictions. It is a statement that regardless of the chances, some things are worth committing everything we have to. I think about the couple at the wedding today. Is there anyone in this day and age who is not aware of the high rate of marriage breakdowns, but knowing that they are making that public declaration anyway, whatever their future is, with all the doubts and the uncertainties and the difficulties that are to come, and them knowing that they’re making a promise they haven’t got a clue how they’re going to keep, but they will always have today, a day when they each love someone enough to put all of that aside and believe they will have each other, to have and to hold till death do them part. Yeah, I think that is worth celebrating.

Date: 2025-09-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7554609952875089160?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 449: Puzzles in bookstores.

I was at a bookstore today. I was browsing at the self help section. I’m always a fan of self improvement, but look at all the books, so many. How can I choose? I went and got some puzzles instead. Maybe the secret to solving life’s puzzles is to actually solve the puzzles instead of reading about them.

Date: 2025-09-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7554363647112498440?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 335: Rainbows hanging’ over your head. #kaceymusgraves#rainbow Learn to paint rainbows over your head

This is a song my son just taught me Always funny when a Gen Alpha tries to teach a Gen X parent to sing a pop song but at least the lyrics are meaningful Well, the sky has finally opened The rain and wind stopped blowin’ but you’re stuck out in the same ol’ storm again You hold tight to your umbrella Well, darlin’ I’m just tryin’ to tell ya That there is always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head As a parent, I hope that I can always be a rainbow over my kids heads That no matter where they are what’s happening to them, when they look up there’s a spot of brightness that’s always colouring their lives In time, I hope they learn to paint their own rainbows to shine over their flaws and mistakes over actions they regret over things they said they wished to take back and over messes they believe they created They will recognise that every storm that comes brings rain that forms rainbows that will always be there hanging over their heads

Date: 2025-09-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7553621899855727890?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
This is for the young people from Bangladesh: there is fire still in you.Reflection 334: Bangladesh.

This is for the new influx of young people from Bangladesh who the platform algorithm has brought to this account suddenly in recent times. My message to you is I understand the pressure. It has been a year since you rose up and took action and yet nothing has changed. Jobs are still hard to find. Politics is still volatile. And the institutions that you depend on are still not delivering. And it feels like no one is here to support you. So you feel it is pointless. You feel hopeless. The fire is not there. And you wonder if there’s any point to make any effort. Perhaps it’s better to just scroll on social media. But I know that the hope is still in you. The fact that you are listening to these words means that you are searching. And the search is a sign of strength. Even in quiet moments, even when you’re exhausted, there is still fire in you. Change is not always loud. It’s not always obvious. Do the small things, even if they seem insignificant, because none of the effort is wasted. Small acts is how you keep moving, even when the world around you feel like it is stuck. So be steady and hold on. I believe in you.

Date: 2025-09-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7553112666395512071?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
What is daddy really saying? Part 1.   A series to explore what adults actually mean vs what comes out of our mouths and in our texts.

Boys, let’s play a game. You know how sometimes daddy gets worked up and says stuff that doesn’t seem right? We’re going to play a game where we’re gonna come up with something else daddy should say instead that uh works better for us. First, when daddy sees you do something and I say what were you thinking? What daddy really is saying is um, I’m scared something could have happened to you and I’m feeling like we’re out of control because I didn’t see that coming and what makes me worried is that um I’m not doing a good job to keep you safe what daddy really should have said instead is are you okay? That really scared me because I love you so much and I need to understand what you are trying to do and we can figure out together how to do it safely. Next, when when I say when I was your age I never did that what daddy is really saying is I’m questioning whether my own childhood experiences still have value today. I need to believe that the hard lessons that I learnt and the struggles I went through actually meant something and shaped me into something and somebody worthwhile what daddy really should have said is my childhood was different and that brought us a lot of good stuff that we have in our lives right now but I realised that your world isn’t the same as what mine was can you Explain what’s important to you. The things that I learnt may help us work out how to get what is important for you next. When I say you never listen to me, what daddy is really saying is I’m feeling disconnected from you. I worry that I don’t matter to you anymore. I need to know that our relationship is still important and that’s, and that our conversation still has some value in your life. So what daddy really should have said is I’m feeling like we’re not connecting too well right now. And that’s really hard for me because you’re so important to me. Is this the right time to talk? Can we find a way to communicate better so we both hear and understand each other? Now let’s work out what you would say if I said that. Okay, lesson’s over. On to the next game.

[1048] Date: 2025-09-22

URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7552845240835525896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Reflection 333: Communicate like we are dancing.

Communication, it is a dance between people and it takes time to learn each other’s rhythm before we stop stepping on each other’s toes. I was at a dinner party last night and sitting at a table with many people, some of whom I didn’t know, I found myself keeping very quiet. And that normally happens to me when I’m not comfortable, when I can’t tune to what emotional impact I have on what I want to say. That is why I find broadcasting videos like this liberating because I don’t have to read your faces or your messages at the time I’m speaking. However, deep relationships are not formed by posting videos. They are formed on reading people’s responses, being aware and adjusting what we say based on how people respond. At the table last night, conversations went from light hearted banter about children’s toys to very heavy conversations about mental health conditions that some of us are going through. Sometimes multiple conversations were happening at the same time at the table and I felt like trying to dance with many people at once. I felt like dancing with someone. When we don’t know each other’s steps yet, conversations are like that, like a dance. We feel our way around. As we start, we make eye contact. We take one step. We notice some changes in postures. We bump into other people on the dance floor. We adjust and then we move some more. Online communication, though, is really A dance. Usually we send out messages that contains our hello and small talk and then our deepest thoughts all bundled into one message because the message might be the last message between us. So let’s get as much into one message as we can. There is no time to dance. Those of you who has been conversing with me for a while on this channel, have you Learned my dance steps yet? I hope I have learnt yours. Shall we dance?

Communication is a dance between people, and it takes time to learn each other’s rhythm.

Date: 2025-09-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7552837451254041863?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 447: Life and Fulfilment.

I’m grateful for the fulfillment that comes from life that we cannot adequately represent on any media, no matter how sophisticated and balanced that media may be. The same way that a movie about a person cannot adequately represent richness of the actual person. There are some things easy to represent on media, for example, achievements or performance, you know, beauty, novelty, certainly outrage. But then there are some things that are very hard to represent, like patience, long relationships, daily routines, the extended experience of quiet living, the acts of daily repetition, the care for someone when there is no audience. Then there are some aspects of life almost impossible to capture on media, like moments of doubt, uncertainty, or the sali of aging. When you look at the screen and the media that you’re looking at. Now know that media may give you a hint, but real living that brings us fulfillment is when we put the screen down.

Real life that brings fulfilment is outside of screen media.

Date: 2025-09-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7551996256776736018?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 332: Feel. My videos are meant to make emotional sense, more than logical sense. Before we think, we have to feel.

Try not to use your logical brain when you watch my videos. You’ll find it a much more meaningful experience. I was reviewing some of my videos with Marissa, a writer and editor who is helping me put my videos into a book form. One thing I noticed is that sometimes, maybe even a lot of times, what I say intentionally makes no logical sense, but they make emotional sense. An example we were reviewing was when I said I make videos to listen to you, which cannot make sense because I literally cannot hear anything through the act of our recording and posting videos. However, it makes emotional sense because it conveys my desire to absorb what I hear from people and to truly connect to you. I think there’s a lot of online content already that comes from our desires to tell others what we believe others need to understand. There are a lot of analysis and hot takes and deep dives that tease apart topics and issues. But can social media as a form help us better understand? I don’t know. This video is an entry that forms a video journal. And as a journal, it is mainly for me, for myself to listen to. It helps me. This journal is also something I want to leave behind for my children and grandchildren. Want to leave them something that taps into their own experiences, that can walk alongside them day to day, to sit with them as They laugh and they cry to be there when they process their emotions. I can’t process their emotions for them. I can be there, though, when they do it. I think there’s enough resources to help them process the world critically and logically, but they have to process their emotions first and be settled enough before they even want to invoke their logical brain. Because before we think, we have to feel.

Date: 2025-09-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7551634337796590856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 446: Sharing Self-Reflections. I invite you to sit beside me when I self-reflect.

for more than two years now almost everyday I’ve reflected on something I recorded it on video and I posted it online here I often wonder why I do it I’m aware I get a lot of value from self reflecting when it comes to having a meaningful life because it brings me joy it links me to my values and my strengths and it helps me make choices but it is the sharing online that still perplexes me as to how invigorating and liberating it is yet it’s not totally obvious to me why I’m not trying to give you any instructions or life lessons or try to change your life in any way I’m sharing what is inside me sharing a bit of peace and calm I invite you to sit beside me when I post my videos maybe the peace and calm brings something to you too I don’t know sometimes I think I post them so I can listen to them later myself sometimes it helps me to remember where I was and where my thoughts were maybe you can tell me why what do listening to someone’s self reflect bring to you

Date: 2025-09-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7550486259223825671?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 331: “You can’t please everyone”.
I can’t please everyone, but I do aim to please a lot of people I care about in healthy and wholesome ways.

This difference between you can’t please everyone and you can’t please anyone, you can’t please everyone is a good motto to live by online because it makes us think carefully about who we want to talk to and what we want to say without trying to say something to everybody and then end up not saying anything at all. The saying, however, has commonly morphed into you can’t please anyone, which is a nihilistic view that we shouldn’t care about anybody else and only say what we selfishly want to say. I can’t please everyone and I don’t aim to, but I do aim to please a lot of people that I care about in healthy and wholesome ways.

Date: 2025-09-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7549543217071426824?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 445: Puzzles Pieces.

this is a puzzle my kids and I are doing look at this puzzle piece with his uh edges and kinks and irregularities it doesn’t look attractive on its own but puzzle pieces aren’t supposed to look good on their own they’re supposed to fit into a complete picture we humans are like puzzle pieces sometimes we think our rough edges our weaknesses our vulnerabilities our flaws there are things we need to hide or to get rid of but there really are the reasons we belong somewhere our rough edges allows us to connect to others with their rough edges to discover how we fit together if we all smooth like these round buttons here then we won’t fit together I am worried sometimes of people who don’t know or are unwilling to expose their flaws or show their vulnerabilities there’s something unsettling about that about someone who presents as perfect having no rough edges which means no places where others can connect connection happens when my weakness meets someone’s strength where I struggle and someone is there with kindness and understanding and so therefore we fit I don’t look to be a perfect piece what I look for is a full picture I’m supposed to belong in the family and communities where I belong

Date: 2025-09-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7549169564387413266?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Another one… Can you tell my children a message of love today.  Reflection #329

another tragedy in the news today another day with another reason to be outraged but we can’t lower the temperature by constantly saying what happened Is outrageous the antidote to violence is love can you tell my children a message of love today?

Date: 2025-09-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7548075535230979346?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 329: The Story of the Boy and the Wise Old Nun.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived at the foot of a mountain. At the top of the mountain was an old nun renowned across the land for being wise. And she would answer all questions posed by anyone who could climb to the top of the mountain to her temple to see her. For as long as he could remember, the boy wanted to be like this wise old nun. He hoped that one day he could meet her and ask her for the secret to her wisdom and he can be wise like her. For years, the boy tried to climb the mountain, but the trek was too onerous on his little body. So each time he failed and returned home, he never gave up. And every year he trained harder, his body grew stronger, and each time he made it just a little higher up the mountain. At last, when he came of age and his body was strong enough, he finally scaled the peak and arrived at the doorstep of the wise nun. The nun greeted the boy and said, for years I’ve watched you toil to get here. What is it that so consumes you that you wish to ask me? The boy said, what is the secret to all wisdom? The wise old nun paused looking at the boy and said, I don’t know. Teach me. Sometimes we think wisdom is in the answers we Get when really it is in the questions we ask. Sometimes when we stop, we will see that all that we crave, all that we chase, all that we worship is already with us.

Date: 2025-09-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7548064043807001874?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 444: Calm.

I wonder where I’ll be when I retire, when the kids are off with their own families, having their own lives. It feels so hectic now, it’s hard to foresee how the next 10 to 20 years will unfold. I like to be somewhere calm. I like to think I’ll have many people around me that I’m close to. Like to think I can get along with anyone, wherever I am, whoever they are. But I know that that’s not possible for a human being to achieve. I can’tplease everyone. And there are people that are simply not going to like me or want to be with me. I cannot control how other people feel and what they choose to do. What I hope for and what I work towards is having the peace that come from holding on to compassion for all people, including the ones who may hate me or reject me or shout at me, that I can still show gentle kindness, that I can still love unconditionally, whether it feels justified or not. And when I lose composure and I fall short to recover and repair and start over again, knowing that it is the kindness that brings the peace and the calm will carry me through.

Date: 2025-09-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7547643611723123976?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 443: Gratitude Practice

is gratitude practice the same as looking on the bright side of life what else is there besides having an optimistic outlook let’s explore that with a with an experience I had this morning I was in a communal kitchen for a co working space and I saw a small spill on the floor it was some food crumbs I swept it up and threw it in a bin here are two versions of events that can go on in my head I can say ugh people are so inconsiderate someone just left a mess on the floor and walked away now I have to clean it up after them like I’m their parent or something this is exactly what’s wrong with shared spaces no one takes responsibility I shouldn’t have to do this but if I don’t they’ll just sit there and make the place look like a mess why is it always my job to notice these things I can say that or I can say with gratitude oh I wonder what happened here how lucky that I noticed this and I’m able to do something about it someone will walk through this space in a few minutes and it will be a tiny bit nicer for them I get to be part of taking care of this shared space that we all use those are the two versions whichever version is in my head my behaviour is to pick up the crumbs and throw it in the bin but the two versions put me in different worlds gratitude is a practice that can reshape my experiences take a life that’s built in a certain way one that’s filled with irritation and resentment and endless amount of dissatisfaction and transform it to another life built a different way one that is rich in meaning and wonder and connection abundance and ultimately fulfillment but it takes effort and work to build and sustain the practice I’m chasing some form of fulfillment and life satisfaction just like you are I can do it by spending 20 years working in a good job saving up enough money buy a good house and through all of that squeeze out a little bit of satisfaction or I can spend a few minutes a day a few hours a week on gratitude practice and by doing that within short space of time transform my life into one of meaning and abundance and fulfillment I choose gratitude

Date: 2025-09-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7547325412687236359?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Beginner’s Guide to Money

Date: 2025-09-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7546874862938213640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 328: Advice.

I try not to give advice on my videos. Sometimes I slip up and end up doing it. But by and large, I try not to tell you what to do. Advice is not the reason I make videos. And I’ve come to learn that it’s not the reason why most of us watch videos. I make videos to listen to you. That’s a very strange thing to say. I know. How can I be listening to you when at the time I make this video, I don’t know who will end up watching it? Well, I can. I can. Because at some stage in your life, someone did listen to you and heard what you said, someone who loves you and cares for you. But that someone did not know how to show the love and care, did not know how to handle when you said, and because of that, started giving a whole lot of advice because you mean so much to them. I’m here to tell you I’m sorry that that happened at a time you needed someone to put their arms around you, to listen and not talk, to help you feel safe in a world that feels so unsafe. But instead, all the advice LED you to feel even more unsafe. I’m here to tell you that someone loves you, someone heard what you said, and that someone is still there waiting for that unfinished conversation.

Date: 2025-09-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7546456367188495624?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 442: Ironing.

just catching up on my ironing there’s quite a lot to catch up on I was uh at the shops today getting some school clothes for my kids when I came across some shirts that I like for myself and I thought since I’m always running short on shirts to wear why not buy a few more so as I was picking out the ones that I wanted I then recalled that the reason I run out of shirts is because I’m always behind in ironing them so as you can see I’m not really short on shirts then I also recalled that um I enjoy ironing just the act of standing still and then you know focusing on the motion of of iron going to and fro uh watching the crease flatten there’s uh something therapeutic there for me so it strikes me just how easily I reach out for the quick fix to buy more shirts when what I really needed was simply to return to something I already know and already love doing how often do we look for solutions elsewhere when the answer is waiting at home in the simple things that we’ve neglected so I have a lot to finish but uh thank you for sharing this moment

Date: 2025-09-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7545444820106415368?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 327: Afghanistan Earthquake.

900 people died in an Afghanistan earthquake yesterday. How do I grapple with something like that? Nothing in my sphere of experience prepares me to receive news of a tragedy at this scale. Something inside me tells me I should scream to demand somebody do something. Isn’t that what a voice is for? But I think the real reason for my urge to scream is to make noise to hide the fact that I feel helpless hearing about so many people dying on a normal suburban Tuesday evening. My children are asleep. If I scream, should I wake them so they scream, too? Should I wake my neighbors and their children, too? I think I’ll let my children sleep. I don’t think they’re ready for news like this. I hope they have enough peaceful nights to grow and mature before they reach a stage of grappling with news like this. I hope they have a childhood where they can still sleep even when there is pain in the world, and they can see their daddy responding to pain by calling on the gentler side of my voice

Date: 2025-09-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7545026353544826119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 326: Tuning out crying.

I was finishing writing something on my laptop about 30 minutes ago when I heard a child crying from over there near the fountains the child’s parents were trying to settle him but nothing seemed to work and I just turned my attention back to my writing and my mind just tuned out the crying I looked around it seemed like everyone else was doing the same just going about their business absorbed in their phones and their conversations after a while I’m not sure how long I realised that the child was still crying and when I looked up uh it sounded like the child was crying even harder and the parents were even uh more frantic a few people glanced over to them and expressed some mild concern but then they all looked away and I put my head down and continued writing as well so that was half an hour ago and they’re gone now and I’ve had a chance to think about what happened I keep thinking about how collectively we all just tuned out the crying we often assume that when we say something louder or more urgent or more persistent it will get people’s attention but the reality is that human beings are really good at tuning out even the loudest signals things like crying children and car alarms house alarms endless email notifications when we bold text and put exclamation points a lot of times we’re very good at tuning those things out you know what actually breaks through for people is when they feel something is meaningful to them or what they believe they can act on everything else no matter how loud just becomes background noise so the louder we shout the less we are heard even so when we communicate with people are we giving them agency or are we just making noise so I think the most powerful messages aren’t the loudest one they’re the ones where we make people feel capable of responding in some meaningful way

Date: 2025-08-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7544680129482607879?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 441: Learning to Breathe

I held a talk today to a small group of people looking to make career choices, and I feel like a lot of them were lost. The most common question I got is how to be happy. People seem lost as to why they can’t find it. To me, I don’t think how to be happy is something we need to learn. Looking at kids, including my own, they were never taught how to be happy. They just seem to naturally know how to find it when given a chance. I think how to be happy is something we’re born with, something we’ve forgotten that we need to remember again. I think it’s just like, um, breathing. We know how to breathe, but somehow we get so caught up in striving and in struggling that we end up holding our breath for so long that we’re suffocating. What we need is to let go and breathe. Do you think like you are holding your breath? Do you feel like you’re holding your breath? Are you struggling for something? What is stopping you from breathing and letting that happiness, like, uh, when you were a child, to let that in?

Date: 2025-08-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7544351753022491912?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 325: Lonely.

In a room full of people, sometimes I notice how lonely I feel. Sometimes I notice that everyone is talking and smiling, but in their faces, they, too, are lonely, like me. At the end of the night, after we go our separate ways, and I think about the people I met, and as I stare into the void of the night sky outside, I can see that emptiness inside me. It is so lonely. Whether I’m alone depends on other people. Whether I’m lonely depends entirely on me. The funniest thing about sitting by myself in the lonely void is that I sit in the same void most others are experiencing. The funniest thing is that I never experienced loneliness alone.

Date: 2025-08-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7543852264679542023?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 324: A child crying hysterically.

If I imagine a child crying hysterically in front of me and I want to help, what do I do? What if I scream instructions at the child? What if I shout hysterically at other people to get them to help? Would that actually help? Will other people be more inclined to help? Or would the attention and the problem be on me? Some problems do need urgent attention, like a fire or emergencies. But for most other problems, the first step is to have a state of calm so that we can approach what’s going on. Actions like shouting, mocking, grandstanding, shaming, they escalate and take me away from the state necessary to solve problems. Most actions that actually solve problems happen away from attention. So if there is a child crying hysterically in front of me, can I quietly kneel down, speak softly, give the child and everyone around me some sense of calm and comfort and safety so I can find out what might actually help? Will I become the storm or can I be the shelter?

Date: 2025-08-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7543834073316216082?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 440: Let me know when you arrive safety.

I had my cousin and family stay with me the last few days they are driving through Queensland and they stopped by Brisbane for two days just for us to catch up and that was nice as they were leaving this morning I said to them let me know when you arrive safely at your next location when you think about statement like that it doesn’t make much logical or functional sense because sending me a message doesn’t do much it doesn’t change anything in terms of practical actions or in terms of uh decision making in my family we have a lot of statements like that where the meaning is not in what is said it is in the fact that we actually say it and then the other side understands and receives it that is the reason why they are said so examples of these are have you eaten or be careful on the road don’t forget your umbrella things like that these statements mean a lot more than what it says what they’re actually conveying is that I care about you that you are a part of my life and I want to be a part of yours it is a message of love and connection usually we don’t fill our conversations with these long statements of of meaning we don’t say I care about you 100 times a day or that I want to be a part of your life 100 times a day what we do have are actions and words that we’ve developed and we’ve discovered through relationship building that convey the same meaning today I’m grateful for language of care and connections that fills the conversations I have with people close to me

Date: 2025-08-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7542911322137038098?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 323: Why don’t you believe in me anymore?

Why don’t you believe in me anymore? You used to. What’s changed? I’m just the same. Well, not exactly the same, but deep down I’m still me. Why don’t you believe in me anymore? Even strangers believe in me. People I’ve never met, they come to me and tell me how they support what I do. But I don’t need strangers believing in me. I need you. I need you because I don’t believe in myself. I need you to tell me the flaws inside me do not define me. I need you to tell me my mistakes in the past can stay in the past so I can let go of the baggage I carry with me every day. Strangers can’t see my flaws and my mistakes, but I can and you can. You are the only one who truly sees me for who I am. If you don’t believe in me, then where am I to go? Some days I need your wisdom. Some days I need a reality check. That’s not today. Today I need you.

Date: 2025-08-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7542440345930321160?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 322: Walls.

everywhere I’m putting up walls to protect myself but can I be safe inside my own walls if I am alone how many bridges do I have inside my walls to keep me safe

Date: 2025-08-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7542415556973006088?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 439: Turning Extended Family into a Community
Effort turns an extended family linked by blood into a community brought together by care for one another.

I received a message today from a family member having some life struggle and sharing it with the rest of us it’s difficult facing the fact that people I love experience struggles at the same time I also understand that facing struggles isn’t the main source of problems it is when we hide the struggles we don’t have an environment that we can share my aunt always say that the close bonds my extended family have is the result of a lot of deliberate hard work by the older generation to connect every member of my family the younger generation in my family we enjoy the benefits of those bonds and as the older generation slows down it is the effort from from the rest of the family that will keep the extended family close we talk a lot about communities in arm on conversations about online life sometimes so we neglect to turn our families that are linked by blood into actual community brought together by rituals and values and care for each other I have a monthly zoom gathering with my extended family where everyone’s invited all over 100 of of us sometimes during busy times everyone’s busy and no one shows up and I feel like I just I feel like stopping it but it is the effort to keep going keep doing it instead of success and failure of any particular session that that is what contributes to our bonds

Date: 2025-08-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7542054721087884551?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Junk can be a source of gratitude. It means I have abundance. Gratitude 438: Junk.

I have family coming to stay so I have to clear all this junk so that I can have the bedroom ready have you ever looked at junk as a source of appreciation it means I have abundance the headache of how to get rid of things rather than the stress of not having enough I don’t think my garage though is gonna be too grateful I’m stuffing more things in there luckily it doesn’t get a say maybe next week I can do a gratitude video about clearing my garage

Date: 2025-08-24
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7542053859590409480?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
When life feels good and whole, that’s actually the perfect time to think about our final words. This reflection explores how love echoes across time, and how we honour those we’ve lost by living the good life we’remeant to live. For anyone carrying someone’s love forward.Reflection 321: Final Farewell.

What do you think my last words will be? Who will be there in my final moments? What will my words of farewell be? It is difficult sometimes to talk about final words when life is good, like it is now, because people I care about get worried as to why I’m thinking about death. I say, though, that the best time to reflect on mortality is when life is good, when there is a balance between having so much to live for and the anguish of things to die for. That is when the full meaning of life is clear. So what words would I leave you? I’m grateful for all that we had, every moment of it. I’m with you wherever you may go. And my love will be there whenever you call upon it. As you walk ahead without me and live the good life that you are meant to live, know that you give me the full meaning of my life by living the good life that is yours. One day you, too, may think about your final words when you may call mine. The echo of your future words is with me now. I love you always.

Date: 2025-08-21
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7540972706624179464?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 437: Family Reading at Bedtime.

Tonight, my gratitude is for family reading time. It’s approaching bedtime and we’re doing family reading. Son No. 1 have selected this book and son No. 2 is recording and daddy is reading. It’s a book about Brisbane. It’s written by an author that I think is from Brisbane. The name of the book is The Flying Orchestra from Claire McFadden. Some days are so windy that even the Angels lose their balance from the top of City Hall. It’s always a day like this when the flying orchestra blows into town. The concert program is a busy one. A violin solo when someone misses their train. The symphony at the airport for a traveler coming home, a concerto and someone stays awake all night thinking like some boys do. That’s my own words. And a sonata for a sad moment at a birthday party. The flying orchestra always plays when a baby is born. And every single day they play at dusk and that dawn, even when the percussionist had a head cold. They go on outings to the seaside and play at lunchtime, when the ocean sparkles and glitters in the sun, they fly out to the country and play under a sky milky with stars. The Flying Orchestra will play when someone learns to ride a bike, cooks dinner for six, or has lost their way in the middle of a cold and dark night. And wherever they are, the Flying Orchestra play their best and most Beautiful music for no reason in particular, but just because someone is listening. Some days are so windy that even the Angels lose their balance from the top of City Hall. And it’s always a day like this when a flying orchestra blows out of town. They fly far, far away over cities, towns and seas, is quiet for a while, and then the music starts again, as beautiful as before in all the places they have been.

Date: 2025-08-19
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7540203793183444232?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 436: Journaling.

I was just thinking a moment ago about what I will reflect on today in this video journal and in my head I searched through some topics and all the topics that came to me were problems problems that I am facing now that are unresolved and as problems they feel heavy and I wondered what is the value of journaling about them what is difference between journaling and rumination that act of thoughts just circling and circling in the head non stop I’ve done video journaling for more than two years now and before that I had a lifetime of journaling on paper one thing that is good for me is that it lets these heavy thoughts come out from inside those deep dark corners of our souls I can then see it in front of me so it’s better to have it in front of me where I can manage it than for it to be hidden and controlling me from deep inside it used to be that with my paper journals I can only share with a few close people around me but with video journal I can share widely across the world I just have to decide what is still private and what is public and by sharing those deep dark heavy things in a safe and positive environment it’s a major source of calm and growth a lot of people don’t think social media is safe or positive but to me it really is about what I put out what I attract and what I cultivate in the space today I’m grateful for journaling for how it lets me face those dark heavy stuff inside and how it lets me share I’m grateful for you for sharing them

Date: 2025-08-17
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7539526214814289170?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 320: Connection in Silence.

Can we connect if we say nothing to each other? I was recalling today what my nephew told me once about times when he was a boy and his dad took him to school everyday in car rides where they were mostly silent. He said he really appreciated those times, even though he never said so. His dad, my brother, was very moved when he heard this yesterday. For an hour, my son was reading on the carpet in the living room behind me while I was doing my cooking in the kitchen next to him. For about an hour, we didn’t talk. Would it have made any difference if we were in different houses unaware of each other? The weird thing about human connection is that sometimes our most meaningful bonds are formed through the courage to let silence do the talking, to let silence say, I feel safe with you. I don’t need to perform for you. I am here now with you. When did you ever feel like that in a conversation with words? My mum and dad, they moved our family from Malaysia to Australia in 1988 to allow my siblings and I to complete our education. So for a period of over 10 years, they lived apart with my dad in Malaysia working and my mum in Australia taking care of us. And I used to think they must not be very close because how can you love and live apart for that long with Minimal contact in an age without zoom and without mobile phones. What kind of love is that? I know now that it is the kind of love built through many years of work, of learning to walk alongside each other to the stage, that their love can speak through silence. To be able to say, I feel safe with you. I don’t need to perform for you. I am here now with you, even if Oceans Apart. And as my mom goes through her golden years without my dad beside her, they have a connection that even the silence of death cannot part.

Date: 2025-08-15
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7538847458017922311?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 319: Chasing Happiness.

Happiness, it’s like water in my hands. I can only hold it lightly more, grip more, it slips away. I was troubled today and I went looking for something to comfort me, something to make me feel better, more myself. Like everyone else, I reached out for my phone and I start looking at TikTok, Facebook and Instagram and YouTube. Now that was a mistake. Went on to read some news and look at some websites and it still didn’tmake me feel any better. So I went outside for a walk. Maybe my happiness is in the forest, up in the trees where the birds are among the leaves. The harder I looked, the further it became. What got me back into my rhythm was when I started cooking. Somewhere in my, as my mind disappears into the rituals of my walk and stir frying my prawns, I stopped chasing and my happiness came to me instead. It’s strange. I spend a lifetime building routines that works for me, that grounds me and brings me comfort and safety. Yet when I’m unsettled and I want comfort and safety, my attention turns away from them. Perhaps what grabs my attention isn’t a reliable benchmark for what is good for me. Some days the hardest part of finding my way back is remembering I already have what I am always chasing.

Date: 2025-08-14
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7538330563971648775?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @FitTif Conversation about neurodivergence, conversations, safe spaces, and low interoception.

Alright, I’ll try and make this short because uh when I get talking I am a talker but Tiffany thank you for your message and the few things that you said that I think is worth for us to keep the conversation going the first thing is when you said uh you try to keep it short don’t try to keep it short your story and what you wanna say will come out the way it comes out and um and I can actually understand what is happening when you talk because um I think we share similar uh new um neurological conditions the I can see that um there are five thoughts going in your head and only one set can that come out for your mouth and that happens to me all the time the good thing though is that I can see and um and feel and hear those other four thoughts that can’t come out and I think it’s useful one of the reasons why I’m responding to your message is that um there are a lot of people like us and it’s useful for them to see adults like us where we do have some handle of our condition that we talk and we’re free to talk and there are safe spaces like the one that you and I are sharing that where we can safely talk the way that we naturally talk because until all of those words come out we don’t know what We really wanna say and there actually might be you know 1 hundred different things that we actually want to say and when we talk normally then perhaps the whole hundred things comes out and then we get to actually pick through uh the uh the the theme and the important things out of this uh what normally people call rambling but isn’t really rambling it’s it’s our thoughts so so that’s the first thing second thing also related to this is what the the story you described that’s uh related to uh you breaking your leg but you’re not you’re not feeling the pain that happens to me that happens to me all the time I remember once I was um running a 39 degree to 40 degree fever I was lying in bed I was cursing this work um uh workmate of mine because we were having some work relationship problems I was uh thinking about the problems and thinking why he’s making me so hot when really it was just a physical fever so working on my 0 t for many years we come to understand this as being having this condition called low interception it is when there are signals coming from our body doesn’t really reach the forefront of my conscious thinking the uh and allows me to actually make decisions based on that and it could be for a whole host of reasons the original bodily signal could be weak or it could be That it is right reaching the brain, but, um, then it doesn’t reach the, uh, the preconscious thought, um, the, the thought for, from the prefrontal cortex. It, or it could be that it’s actually reaching it, but because I have so many other thoughts that, um, I don’t pay attention to that particular one. But regardless of what it is, it happens. And so the, uh, we want to be aware of it. So I’ve come to be very aware of it because it’s important because our body tells us a lot of things that allows us to make up certain emotional, um, decisions about our emotions and not having access to those signals or those signals not being at the forefront, it’s important to be aware of that so that, um, we use other ways like feedback from other people, um, to, uh, for us to, to help us, um, process and, and make decisions. So all of those is, is related to, um, to having conversations and talking about these things that, you know, you probably realise don’t get talked about a lot because there aren’t actually safe spaces to talk about it. Now you talk very, uh, uh, you are very articulate. You speak, uh, and you say a lot of things without stopping and you don’t use mm and, ah, that’s something that even I can’t do a lot of times. I have to think through very carefully what I want to say and sometimes I have to script some of those in order for it to come out smoothly. You seem to be able to talk and, um, and then at the end of it, I actually have a coherent, um, narrative from beginning to, to end. So, so I encourage you to, to keep doing that. Um, I enjoy our conversation and, um, and I thank you for having this conversation with me. All the things that I produce are in this channel and in other places that I have online are primarily to show my kids, uh, that there are good people like you that, um, that exist on, on the internet and that, uh, we can share things and we can talk about things. So, um, so I appreciate you initiating this conversation and, um, and I hope that, um, I can hear a lot more about the stories that you tell.

Date: 2025-08-13
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7537991664305032456?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 435: Sometimes I think the purpose of human life is to share ice cream!🍦🤔

Can I have a little bite? Just a tiny little taste, please. You won’t even notice it’s gone.

Date: 2025-08-12
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7537564456759348498?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 434: Stuck in the Cosmos.

I like to peer out into the sky sometimes especially when I feel stuck it may look like I’m standing still but right here where I’m standing the earth is spinning at 1,670 kilometers an hour and we’re orbiting the sun at 107,000 kilometers an hour the whole solar system is racing through the Milky Way galaxy at 828,000 kilometres an hour and our entire galaxy is speeding through the universe at 2.1 million kilometres an hour towards something mysterious we call the Great Attractor so whether my life is stuck and standing still or I’m racing along on a grand cosmic adventure it’s all really just a matter of perspective

Date: 2025-08-11
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7537233402492210450?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 433: Gifts and Promises.

Got a bit of a shock from a message I received last night. It was from my friend and former neighbour Mel. She and her husband Chris are selling their house and moving on. If you follow content on this account over the years, you see that uh, Mel and Chris, their family and that neighbourhood was a big part of my kids and my life. When we moved out of that neighbourhood, I always thought somehow the Chris and Mel’s house would always be there for us to return to. They lived in that house for 30 years and silently I thought they always will. Mel said that wherever they move to, we’re always welcome to stay with them and that means a lot, perhaps a lot more than we sometimes realise, a promise of somewhere where we’re welcome and we belong. Things that happen in our lives are gifts and they remain gifts even if they change and they turn out not to last forever, especially if they turn out not to last forever. Until 7 years ago, I thought my dad would be with me forever. Then within three days of going to the hospital, he was gone. We can’t have that promise of forever, but the gift is not that promise. What we had between us is the gift. I saw my mom in Malaysia a few weeks ago. I think I need to go back to see her a lot more. As you grow and Age, you start to notice all the promises people made that they didn’t keep. Some promises they had no chance of keeping and some maybe they never made those promises at all. It was just that I wanted them to. I needed them to. Of things lasting forever. With my own kids, I tell them every chance I get, daddy loves you always. Maybe one day they’ll be watching this video and I won’t be around anymore. Daddy can’t keep the promise of being around forever, but daddy can’t give you the gift, the one that you give me that I will love you always.

Date: 2025-08-10
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7536857349349231880?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 318: LinkedIn. Do you find LinkedIn weird? If you do, head over there and help me change it.

I’m posting here on LinkedIn every day until I find some real people. You know how LinkedIn feels like some sort of stage where everyone’s trying to perform? Is this how we think work life is? Every day is another inspiring story, is another breakthrough strategy, or is another big lesson? Is this real to you? I’m a parent and I’m trying to work out what to tell my kids about real organizations and real workplaces with human beings talking about human things. Anyone here like to do that with me? If you do, leave me a message. My kids and I, thank you.

Date: 2025-08-09
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7536480951254224146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 317: Anonymity.

I was online going through some internet safety training with my son this morning and I find it a bit disturbing that the default lesson that we give kids today is that to combat safety concerns the solution is to hide our identities and to pretend to be someone else by using fake names and hidden identities yes there are some environments where people are experiencing abuse or prosecution where being anonymous is of tremendous value but in general I don’t agree that that should be the way that we teach kids to behave online I don’t think the solution is to normalise unsafe communities by teaching kids tricks to be devious with others in in those spaces the solution should be to get them involved in safe trusted communities places where people identities are known and they’re declared and verified where there is active moderation there are rules for how the community behaves and the consequences of breaking those rules we have examples of those online communities they exist in schools and sports teams and social groups and churches so that’s where kids can learn good habits of healthy community behaviour even the in online groups and we can bring those those experiences so if we train a generation of kids to use fake names and hidden identities they will adapt to it and they will adapt to a culture of deception and all the negative behaviours will become normalised so my kids can’t interact with the internet on their own they have to go through me and it is up to me to show them how to safely engage with people online even those who choose not to reveal themselves and I do that by being transparent myself and then relying on my community to protect me

Date: 2025-08-08
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7536036397803752712?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 316: The Essence of Me.

you know it’s interesting this thing called identity development we used to think that only young people do it when they come of age and they start their career or they have a home they start a family we used to think that we go through these core changes and then we know who we are we know what our lives are about turns out that’s not true there’s no one that I know today private or public who is the same person today as they were five years ago do you think you are the same person you were 5 years ago turns out identity development happens across our lifespan we never stop changing because the world doesn’t stop changing so these days finding your true self or be who you are or be your best self these are big industries every self help guru or every mindfulness coach every teacher every author every public speaker every YouTube influencer everyone is here to help you in some ways to find who you are only none of us can do it can we I bet you that you’ve tried enough ways but you still can’t tell me who you are can you I spent the last two years of my life posting on social media everyday to try and find myself and everyday I thought maybe today is it maybe today I find out who I am and while I’ve been doing that I’ve also been feeding everything that I said every content I made into AI I thought if I train it enough if I give it enough data about how I think about what I say about how I say it it’ll be able to talk like me and then maybe it’ll tell me who am I now AI has thousands of hours of my content all very personal and very me yet when I ask it to write like me or to talk like me it just gives me rubbish is it that AI isn’t good enough or I have no essence for it to find or maybe essence and identity isn’t a document to be compiled it isn’t a paragraph that I can nail down maybe essence isn’t something fix that I can put into words but it’s something relational and is shared between us I believe if you’ve seen enough of my content you know the essence of me but it’s not something I can give you in words it is something you and I share by spending time together over long periods an experience human beings have I believe my children knows the essence of me who I am just as I know who they are even if I can’t explain it and that is good enough for me

Date: 2025-08-06
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7535359632219409671?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 315: Queensland Teachers Strike. #queensland #teachers

we ask our teachers to give our children a safe environment to learn and grow when our children say I don’t feel safe we expect our teachers to protect them when our children say I’m overwhelmed we expect our teachers to calm them and when our children say I need help we expect our teachers to show up again and again Today 50,000 teachers in Queensland stood up to strike to ask us for the very same things our children ask of them and somehow what we expect them to give freely to our children we can’t give to them

Date: 2025-08-05
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7535037585173826823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 432: Music in their hearts.

I was watching my son play in a piano competition today. All the kids who were playing had such enthusiasm and joy. They had all practiced very hard. They all dressed up. They had their sheet music. They lined up. They took their turn and they played their hearts out. One thing about the music community is the passion people have for the welfare of children. I look at how the organizers took care to arrange the kids for their performances and the judge took care to think about his scoring and the comments that he gave to each child. Every parent and family member in the audience who sat up and gave attention to the children as they play, every child who went up there was beaming with joy. Sometimes we think it is the music that makes them beam, but really it is because they are seen and they are heard and the music from inside them reaches out and has some way to go. Everywhere around us are kids with love in their hearts waiting to pour them out to connect to someone. Today, I’m grateful for places they can do that and have that love be received and be reciprocated. I hope more places like this blossom in the world.

Date: 2025-08-03
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7534329095727877383?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Community Service Announcement: Time for a Break.

this video won’t entertain you won’t help you keep informed it doesn’t teach you anything and it doesn’t sell any products this video is unlike the previous video you just watched and it’s unlike the next video or any other video to come after this that’s because all of those videos want your attention while this video wants to give that attention back to you nothing on this side of the screen will cover any defects you believe you have nor fulfill any piece you believe is missing there is nothing here that’s better than what is with you there

Date: 2025-08-03
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7534311219545640199?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 314: In sickness and in health.

just taking my medicine for the evening I had a fever when I was overseas and I still have some lingering headaches and muscle aches and some some lingering cough so I’m taking some paracetamol to relieve some of those symptoms I used to avoid taking paracetamol because they only address the symptoms and doesn’t really address the cause of the sickness so my thought back then was that if I can bear with the pain I’ll just bear with the pain it was only when I got older that I realised that the biggest damage that physical illness brings is not on our bodies but it is from us acting stupid to other people when I’m in pain my range of emotions condensed and I’m grumpy and I’m short with people I’m impatient and I withdraw from other people when they need me so the biggest price for sickness is not my body but in my relationships that’s why I’m taking the medicine so it relieves the pain it allows me to keep on connecting to people even if my body is not 100%

Date: 2025-08-02
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7533973897377500434?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 431: Home.

today my elder son asked my younger one what’s your favourite place I overheard that and for a moment I hoped that the answer was home or my room or somewhere here but at last his answer was somewhere else and as I thought about it I thought about my favourite places I realise I’m glad that home is not his favourite place home is a safe place for him to go out and explore his favourite places and a place for him to come back to when he’s tired just like his parents shouldn’t be his best friend his home shouldn’t be his favourite places he is growing way beyond what home can provide and that is a good thing

Date: 2025-08-01
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7533605765009935634?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 313: Highlights.

Just arriving home from my trip overseas, another rewarding and tiring trip. On my way home from the airport, I recall the memories from the trip, the highlights. Interesting how it is the highlights that make it into memory, but it is the ordinary, mundane stuff that actually shapes me and my relationships. I feel I’m a better person, a better son, a better brother, a better uncle after the trip. And all that came from experiences that didn’t make it into my memories. It is from the hours I spent with my mom that I can’t recall what we were doing. The many conversations with many people about nothing in particular. The many hours where something must have happened, yet I can’t make a photo album out of it. Growth comes from repetitions, boring routines, things that we do in the background, away from photos and attention. Trust is built every day away from the highlights that sticks to our memories. I’m wondering what I’ll tell my sons about what happened during the trip. Maybe I’ll give them the same big smile and hug I always give them that they grew up with, that they’ve Learned to rely on. Maybe they’ll like that more than any highlights I can tell them.

Date: 2025-07-31
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7533181815306177810?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 430: Invisible People.

It’s breakfast time in my hotel in Singapore. My family and I are one of the lucky ones who get to stay in nice hotels when we travel. As you look at the building and the decor settings and the food and the many other guests who stay here like me, do you notice the hotel staff in the video? The waiters, the chef, the cleaners, reception? Or are they invisible? I met this lady San, who served my mom and I breakfast. She was kind enough to stop and talk to us and tell us about her daughter and family. I’m grateful for people like her who work daily away from attention to power the world we live in. I used to manage an H K facility where I worked with many people like sign. Many of the residents and clients would thank me as the manager for our services because I’m the one in the fancy suit and I’m the one they see when really the real work is done by many in the kitchen, in the laundry, in the pantry, in the back office, in the loading dock. Many people are invisible. I’ve been to many conferences over the past few months and in every event when people do their thank yous, all the keynote speakers and VIPs and the delegates and the organisers, they will get the big thank yous. No one ever thanks the staff at the venue, many of whom are right there in The room, serving them and keeping the events running. Do we know their names? Do we ever say hi? Do we ask how they are? Do they matter to us? Many people tell me that they get paid. That’s their reward. We don’t have to pay attention to them. They’re doing what they’re supposed to. Is that right? If I pay my mom money, does that mean I don’t need to thank her or pay attention to her? Many people also say we don’t have time to pay attention to so many people. We don’t have the emotional energy for this. Well, maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe the reason we don’t have the emotional energy is because we are not used to paying attention to people.

Date: 2025-07-25
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7531050057538276615?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 429: Chasing Numbers.
It is the meaning behind the numbers that makes chasing those numbers worthwhile.

just going through my dad’s old study he passed away seven years ago and we’ve been slowly going through his stuff and making decisions on what to do with them so obviously there’s a lot of memories in here look there’s a handwritten sheet that I just came across and it has a set of a set of numbers on it dates that my dad recorded when he was in Australia and a count on how many days on each one of those trips I’ve never seen this sheet before and I don’t know why he wrote it but looking at the dates it was a time when my family migrated from Malaysia to Australia and my dad has to maintain his business here in Malaysia while my mum took care of us in Australia so my dad flew between Malaysia and Australia a lot there are there’s this condition that uh there needs to be a certain number of days that my dad needs to be in Australia to keep his permanent residency as part of the migration so I suspect that he kept count on it so that he can ensure that he has enough of those days so there were a lot of adjustments that my family made during those years and a lot of hard decisions and a lot of compromises but within that there was family and there was care and there was love I’m sharing this with you to remind myself and to remind you that all numbers have meaning that makes those numbers worthwhile and without those stories and without the meaning then the numbers are hollow so if you’re chasing numbers like my dad was with the day counts it could be how much you earn or how expensive your house is or perhaps you’re chasing number of followers on social media remember that the stories and the meaning because those are the real reasons you chase what you chase and it’s the stories that will give you satisfaction when you achieve those numbers

Date: 2025-07-24
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7530645041396681992?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 312: (Un)kindness at the airport. Can I be kind when I feel unsafe?

I did something unkind that I want to share with you not because I’m proud of it or that it’s any sort of highlight but because it taught me something um something important about how I can so easily walk away from kindness I landed in Kuala Lumpur International Airport two nights ago for a stopover to visit my mum on my way to Singapore I grew up here in KL but I spent the last 30 years living in Australia so things are not as simple as they used to be here I had problems when with uh custom procedures and then when I tried to get my dinner at the terminal I had currency issues I had all sorts of confusion with getting a ride share ride so by the time I was waiting outside for my ride I was um 2 hours late and my family was waiting for me at my mom’s place so I felt unsafe not physically but I wasn’t in control of what was happening all around me so at that moment a woman approached me outside the busy airport terminal and she was asking for money she said she was a foreign visitor and was stranded and her payment cards weren’t working and she needed to get to her hotel all my red flags went up growing up in Malaysia I am very aware of scammers so I said no and I walked away few minutes later she came and approached me again this time with a man he said that they mean no harm that they hadn’t be able to find anybody who speaks Chinese who could help them and so he began telling me about their problem but I had stopped listening by that time and I was thinking about being late and my family and you know where’s my ride and why in the world are there so many scammers so I told them very abruptly that I couldn’t help and I buried my face in on in my phone I saw them stood there in front of me for with blank looks for a while and then they wandered off and then my ride came so in the long ride in the car as I calm down I began to see the situation with clearer mind and a more open heart and I thought uh were they scammers maybe but they could also genuinely be needing help but I I’ll never find out because I didn’t have the space to spend a few minutes to investigate so a lot of times I hear kindness being described as a moral choice something we can choose to be or not to be well this episode at the airport told me that there are certain things more powerful than our choices and our sense of safety is one of them if I feel like I’m under threat I walk away from what I believe to be a luxury item like kindness so I’m not proud of what I did and the most disappointing thing in that is that that couple if they are genuine probably walked away being less inclined themselves to be kind to strangers in the future but I can’t do anything about that now but what I can do and what I need to work a lot on is to address my own sense of safety you know to to try and find my equilibrium my level better to handle my stress better to give myself some kindness when facing challenging environments so that perhaps I will have enough kindness to give to others when the opportunity arise

Date: 2025-07-22
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7529862357430832402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Putis Gratitude 428: do the impossible thing.

yes what we do here is near impossible and very hard to do but I don’t think that that’s the thing that makes it unusual I think on a daily basis many people try to do impossible and hard to do things the thing that I’ve noticed is that the ones that don’t change their impossible thing on a weekly basis the one that sticks to one thing for a long time they are the ones that get somewhere

Date: 2025-07-21
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7529295354240503058?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 427: Transit. Taking a moment to savour my journey.

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Date: 2025-07-20
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7529035437176818962?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 311: Will I win big? What if I win the jackpot?

it’s a promotional scratch card I got from a petrol station for filling up my fuel I’m supposed to peel it should I? or perhaps a better question is why shouldn’t I peel it? I could win big The question is if I do win big what do I expect is going to happen will it fill any void will it fulfill anything am I wasting my time taking me away from what my real life is

Date: 2025-07-19
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7528779504844541202?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Caitlyn 🌻 Reflection 310: Expectations. How do I balance drive and expectations?

that is an amazingly good question how do you balance wanting to be a driver for change and not having expectations of yourself set too high is that a question for me or is that a question for yourself my answer is that my drive for change is only for my two boys and my expectations and my ambitions does not extend beyond that

Date: 2025-07-18
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7528432984031120658?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 426: Wedding Gift

I’m preparing my wedding gift to my niece and her fiance in Singapore. They’re getting married next week. Help me draft the letter that goes with that gift. Your marriage is a journey only the two of you will ever truly understand. As you walk alongside each other in the seasons of life, I want to give you something that will walk alongside you, to link the couple you are now to the couple you will become. Inside this package are writing sheets marked for your first 10 and 50th anniversaries. Take a moment now to write to your future selves the dreams you hope they remember, the worries you wish they can allay, all your questions only your future selves can answer. Seal each letter in their envelopes and open them. On your anniversaries, may your words from today remind you of where you were, how far you’ve come, what was unnecessary that you’ve chosen to let go of, and what is precious you’ve chosen to hold dear. Wishing you a journey filled with love, patience and understanding. What do you think? Flying out next week, and I have until next Saturday to have this done. Any comments, improvements I can make, let me know before then.

Date: 2025-07-17
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7528019678510189831?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 425: Spaces between checklists items.

if I’m not careful life can turn into a checklist that goes nowhere it’s evening and I did everything I needed to do today documents to send off meetings to run and decisions to make all the tasks are completed and checked off next week I’m flying to Singapore for my niece’s wedding I need to get her a wedding gift before I go I need to pack and there’s a whole list of things to complete to ensure that I get there and I’m ready then maybe I can enjoy myself yesterday I listened to world No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler in an interview and he said that he worked a lifetime to win tournaments but after he wins he’ll enjoy for a few minutes and then it’s back to the grind and he asked what’s the point what is the point our brains are wired to work in checklist to reach points of completion and then to move us on it is functional and it’s necessary some people like Scheffler have intense drive to complete certain items like winning golf tournaments these goals and achievements and highlights they are essential pillars that keeps us moving forward but they’re not what brings us joy not what keeps us well and they’re not what brings life satisfaction life satisfaction is in the spaces between the checklist items I’ve been making videos everyday for more than two years and when I started the checklist was long to reach 10 videos 100 1,000 to get 10 followers 1,000 100,000 and I still chase those milestones because they drive me forward and the checklist is just as long but my happiness doesn’t come from hitting those numbers in the checklist it comes from turning on the phone like now from reflecting on what I wanna say to record it and to share it the joy is in the process and not the completion the profound irony of life is that these structures the checklist that are meant to keep us organised and alive will also eat us alive if we don’t remember to pause and to breathe in those spaces between the checkboxes learn to pause and enjoy your moments

Date: 2025-07-16
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7527556562152377608?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @Golf Digest Reflection 309: What is the point?

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Date: 2025-07-14
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7526830580894289160?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 308: What is a Community?

What’s the difference between a community and a brand? Customer base. Just catching up with a report released by the community platform circle and in that report there are trends of online communities and includes examples of successful communities that’s built on circle and as I was looking at it, I am struck by how different the definition of community is compared to mine. A lot of the communities that I read about on that report are what I would call a customer base for a brand. What’s the difference? I have this old fashioned view that communities where people come together to share and to grow the brand. Customer base is not like that because the community there exists mainly for the product and services that’s tied to the brand. People don’t have to and in most times they don’t care if they share and grow together as long as the brand and the products grow. So if a community member or a group of community members fade away and a new batch of members come in, what does it matter? I’m not saying this to blame circle or the brands that use circle. It’s just a difference in the way we use the word community. The view of community being a customer base is um everywhere online now that people talk about a TikTok community or a Facebook community, which sounds very weird to me. Do any of you feel that you belong in a platform’s community and All of this didn’t start from tech platforms. I remember 30, 40 years ago when I was at university, that university started calling the whole campus wide student body a community. And I went, what? How can I commune with people I never met and not likely to meet? And I don’t really care about my community back then. Was my study group, for instance, all the people at the campus gym that I play basketball with? But was there a campus wide community? Maybe there was and I just didn’t feel I belong in it. I think about my own online social circles now. You know, what we have here on social media and the groups I have in various messaging platforms. In what sense are we a community? And my team and I, we maintain student communities on WhatsApp and discord and the numbers there vary from over 100 to about 1,000. Most of the people there are silent. So now are the silent people part of the community? To me, the community is the few who do participate, care about each other and support each other. I like to think that there is a subset of people who do form a community, who do care for one another, who do notice when somebody needs help, who do celebrate each other. And I suppose all that is some work that we have to do with each other so that we get the full benefits of actually being in The community. So what do you think? When is a group people community to you? Do you feel like you’re in the community here? Let me know.

Date: 2025-07-12
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7526183806013836551?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 307: Somewhere out there.

Sometimes I hesitate to talk to anyone about my problems because my experience is that when I bring up difficult issues I’m experiencing, people distance themselves from me. I used to get very down on that, that I would spend my time to listen to others, but others won’t spend time to listen to me. Then I thought, what’s wrong with me? Then I worked out that’s how the math works. With so many problems around, so many more people needing someone to listen, then there are people who have time to listen. We’re all walking around desperate for someone to hold space for our pain, but we haven’t Learned how to hold space for someone else’s. So we’re all in this grand performance performing instead of living. We all show up with our smart quotes and highlight reels and we wonder why we’re so alone. I find it so much easier sharing with you through the screen. I’m betting you that you find it easier to listen to me across the screen than if we are face to face. Maybe that’s something we can work on together, being able to hold each other’s pain without needing a scream between us to protect us. Or have we forgotten how to be with each other when it’s hard? Maybe somewhere out there someone is looking for the hard honesty I have to offer and maybe I’m ready for dares.

Date: 2025-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7525388127704321288?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 424: Silliness.

today I’m grateful for silliness as a parent I’m always watching out for when the children need to be serious just so that their silliness doesn’t get in the way of getting things done but the reverse is also true that children need to watch out for us parents so at times when we need to be silly so that our seriousness doesn’t get in our way of living a full life

Date: 2025-07-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7524981742994853138?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 306: How to say no kindly? How do we decline request for help and still show kindness?

Here’s a really good question I heard from a student today. How do you say no very kindly. What works for me in saying no is to say no simply and directly. The more excuses that I’m trying to make, the worse it gets. And sometimes the reason is not appropriate to share out loud. So the quicker and simpler that I say no, the better it is. To me, the key to this question is that the saying no part, the boundary setting part is a separate thing from being kind. The kindness is in showing that the person is worth something. Even if I say no, the kindness can be shown in different ways by being interested in why they ask, in talking about it, in finding other ways to help. So the best response I find is something like, no, I can’t, but tell me about why you need someone to do that for you. Or if I’m invited to a party, I’d say, no, not this time, but tell me about this party that you are holding or something like that. Having said all of that, a lot of times I mess up myself when somebody comes up to me face to face and ask for something. I do find I cut try to make up a lot of excuses in my head and then I blurt it out. That’s something I have to work on, to pause and take a breath and think before responding. And strangely, in online communications today, where you would expect because you have a moment to think before you respond, that there would be a lot more kindness, but the opposite is true. There is a lot more harsh boundary setting than there are kind responses. And that’sbecause online we are bombarded with stuff that overwhelms us. So when we hear somebody ask for something, we immediately go into defensive mode. We need, uh, emotional safety and space to process requests and respond kindly. And, um, and we need calm environments to give us that emotional space. So in thinking about this question, I also think about the question, how do we ask for something kindly so that the other person is free to respond authentically? That’s another interesting question and perhaps for another video in the future.

Date: 2025-07-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7524660528443165960?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 423: Good Listeners.

how do we signal that we are listening when we are not face to face before the online world came along when people have conversations there is a balance between the speaker and the listener it’s easy to tell when someone is listening or not is the person making eye contact being still paying attention are they nodding and saying uh huh and things like that the tone of their voice when they respond you can’t do any of that when you have a conversation through text or recorded videos like this or through a live chat so the online world is dominated by people who are getting better and better at speaking my gratitude today is for good listeners online it’s not an easy task and it’s not an easy skill to pick up I hope more people work towards that

Date: 2025-07-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7524650102078672136?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 305: Secrets to Online Friendships.

let’s talk about what really keeps online friendships alive in my work we do a lot of facilitating students to form friendships with other students around the world and part of that is to understand what research tells us about online connections in this video I’ll do a broad sweep of what we know firstly we know that new online connections are very fragile a few study that tracked 300 million interactions inside the massively multiplayer online game called Everquest 2 showed that connections people make in game disappear after just a few weeks if you just play the game normally only if we repeat and do things like share a guild or playstyle or hometown do those connections actually last and secondly we also know there’s a limit to how many people we can genuinely connect to the Twitter data from 1.7 million users proved that there’s a ceiling of about hundred fifty to 200 people that we can reasonably keep up with even when the timeline is infinite so third how you communicate makes a big difference Facebook’s own long term research found that directed effortful messages like direct messages and and and meaningful comments will grow closeness while one off clicks like likes will barely make any difference and fourthly having different modes can improve the friendships substantially there’s a Dutch study that compared online only offline only and mix mode friendships and the offline friendships are usually closer than online ones but if you put online friendships through different contexts for instance voice and video and then in real life if you mix those they ends up being very stable and close almost as close as offline face to face connections and then fifth the platform vibes influences the friendships in different ways there’s a new study of 547 teens it showed that Instagram and Snapchat because they encourage a bit more dialogue and interactions compared to TikTok and YouTube which is encouraging viewing the interactions predict more closeness so in summary if we are looking for lasting friendships then we’re looking for sharing activities that repeat we’re looking for groups that are small enough for people so that they can notice one another we want channels that reward real conversations over very quick reactions we are after activities that migrate friendships across different modes from text to voice to occasional face to face meetups and we want platforms that make it easy to stay and talk not just to scroll so there you go what research tells us about how online friendships work I’ll put the references for all of those in the video description below what do you think what are your online friendships like let me know in the comments

Date: 2025-07-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7523551876202253575?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 422: Sushi Train.

here’s my lunch at a sushi restaurant today it’s interesting watching all the plates go by but just like life at some stage I just have to pick something and roll with it

Date: 2025-07-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7523194132391529736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 304: AI in real life.

it’s another day and another round of announcements about the breakthroughs in A I and how the world will change but this is my question looking at all the people most intensely involved in A I technology all the leaders and engineers and the adopters listen to what they say today and compare it to what they said three years ago when this revolution appeared to have hit the world do they sound any more intelligent? do they sound happier? do they sound like they are better versions of themselves? with all this amazing intelligence available to them everyday do they sound like they are better than they were three years ago they don’t why is that? the fact is that this revolution just like all previous tech revolutions has little to do with the real purpose of living life of being a human being the tech is useful and give us increase in productivity but when we go home to people we care about when we rock up and interact with our teammates when we look at ourselves in the mirror and ask what am I doing here all this tech can’t give us what we are after so focus on being a human being living a rich life with other human beings focus on the real things in life

Date: 2025-07-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7522779398966201618?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 421: Little Fish.

Date: 2025-07-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7522335166484811015?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @LadyAmalthea #gratitude
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Date: 2025-07-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7522331194873089298?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 303: Coursera.

I feel like I’m living in a dystopian nightmare where humans exist may need to service uh technology and corporations. I just jumped back onto Corsera after a long break. Er Coursera is a global online education platform that partners with top universities and companies to provide online courses. It is a massive platform with a lot of reach for people around the world who are making decisions about careers. So when I logged on a moment ago, it asked me for what I’m interested in so it can recommend courses and then it floods me with all tech and businesses categories like data science, a I cloud computing, fintech, uh, business strategies. It looks to me like there are no jobs in demand to service customers and society. So careers now seem like they’re only to service tech and business. Even when I tick the box and says my interest is outside of work, I get the same categories. So now this platform algorithm is driving Coursera universities, corporations into a self feeding loop where the platform algorithm shows me as a learner what supposedly the job market wants, which is tech and business. And as a learner I click on these offerings because they’re in demand. And so universities, corporations, Coursera sees all these enrollments and revenues and they create even more courses like that. What in the world is educating humans about? I hope this is a glitch and Cosera fixes this recommendation algorithm because come on Education can’t be like this.

Date: 2025-06-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7521693253066870034?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Kat

thank you Kat for your very kind words I’m responding to you in video because I want to point out something that I hope everyone who watches my video know what I have is not wisdom or intellect my IQ score is unremarkable and I make the same amount of life mistakes as everyone else what I do have is luck with people who have supported me to have a good life and from that good life I have the emotional space to listen is from my listening that everything in this account comes from from listening to people like you who leaves me messages full of meaning from your message I can hear the appreciation in your voice I can hear your hope and hopes and dreams when something resonates with you that you will reach out to leave a comment to connect I can hear how the path you’ve walked sounds very similar to mine I can hear the trust that you blessed me with by sharing a few words here that belongs to you I can hear all of that because I have the emotional space to listen and my hope for everyone here for my own children in the world that I leave them is that everyone can work towards a good life so you too have that emotional space to listen and then you hear the richness and the wisdom and the intellect that is in your own voice and you hear just how glorious you sound thank you again

Date: 2025-06-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7521670382667975944?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 420: The value of showing up.

what’s the true value of time that I spend with someone I have nothing in common with I’ve had many moments in my life where I’m caught in this awkward situation of talking to someone whose views are completely opposite to mine or doing something with someone where neither of us want to do it it happens at work at social events in families it is rare enough that I can tolerate it but it’s still often enough that I find it very annoying and in recent times I have started working on my mindset and my response to when I encounter these situations I want to be able to say to myself at least that I appreciate the person who showed up and he’s there beside me for no other reason but for showing up there’s value in showing up and there’s even more value if the person shows up repeatedly even if it is uncomfortable I want to be able to express that appreciation for someone doing that and you might say that that is a very low bar for someone to earn appreciation and you’ll be right but we’re not even achieving this low bar are we we have many problems to solve in our world and we can’t solve them because we can’t show each other some basic respect and civility for our common grounds for the the one basic common ground that a person shares a space with me and have chosen to be there as I have if I’m constantly triggered so much that I can’t start an interaction with respect then what business do I have to try and solve difficult problems so that’s what I’m gonna work on today what about you

[984] Date: 2025-06-27

URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7520612082493033736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Please leave a message if you are content with life.  The only reason I ask for your comment is to show my kids there are many people online with content lives.
I do not monetise my channel. I do not seek sponsorship or sell anything.
Gratitude 419

[983] Date: 2025-06-27

URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7520509676727913735?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Gratitude 418: Are my kids better than AI? Would I rather talk to a 10 year old or AI for my planning?

I’m doing a lot of expansion planning at the moment for my education company and as I do I involve my kids by talking with them through the plans the reason I’m building an education company is for kids like mine the question for me is these days with a I having the capabilities that they have do I place any value on what a 10 year old would say I do and I should because there’s a big difference between the value of mimicking general human behaviour which is useful but is nothing compared to the value of actually being a human being here’s what my kids can offer when I talk to them I get a response of someone who has walked the earth for 10 years with their memories and their hopes and their relationships and their expectations a whole lifetime of experiences that I cannot invent and all of those goes into a conversation of course I have to do the groundwork first because human conversations need effort I have to make sure that they feel comfortable to speak they they feel safe from being judged that they are free to explore their viewpoints and all that but when I do do the groundwork the feedback they give me is richer than anything that technology can give me now I’ll give you an example once I told them that I have a plan to hire a Minecraft tutor to promote curiosity my son then told me that he liked the idea but one of his friends wouldn’t and that LED us to a discussion about that friendship the what experiences that did they share you know how did they shape him why he cares about this friend in that particular conversation why he’s looking out for him so that information and insights are so vast and so wide and so uniquely human because it comes from a conversation only humans can have can a I simulate a conversation a conversation like that they can try and like most mimics they’ll fool me for a short time but only for a short time nothing in what I see in the technology that we have today tells me that they will ever match my 10 year old so today I’m grateful my kids can give me input I’m grateful that human beings are the most valuable part of my world and I hope you value the people around you too

Date: 2025-06-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7520140778946022664?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Mario Meijsen why not built a new platform that is more healthy?

this is a good question if platforms are unhealthy then why don’t we all get together and build a new platform that’s healthier people do try to do that we regularly hear about new technology that supposedly solve problems of the old ones and if I was still in my computer scientist days I would probably be thinking about tech solutions but I’m old now and I’ve seen so much the solutions are almost never new technology it is in how we are as human beings about how we change and how we treat ourselves and how we treat each other the social media has presented us with a challenge and we will change and we will adapt just like we have always have it will be very slow but it will be very definite usually what we find are the people that contributes to solving these sort of social dilemmas are the quiet ones the ones who work on themselves and work on people around them and they make slow small changes that leads to big changes that in the end ends up solving the problems civilization wide so look out for those people that are working on this and you may be one of them in which case I applaud you and I thank you for what you do

Date: 2025-06-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7519840973187321096?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 302: Social Media Ban.

let’s talk a bit about the social media ban that Australia is in the process of implementing I just listened to the National Press Club address by eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant I think she has a point that YouTube shouldn’t be exempt from the ban because YouTube Shorts is just like TikTok and Instagram and Snapchat in the way it operates the issue are these addictive design elements that pulls people into endless scrolling you can’t ever name every possible platform in the future that will use this feature to pull people in so my sense it’s just my opinion is that the band will grow and the current focus on 16 year old as the age limit will in the future I believe grow to include a total ban on all ages specifically for these addictive scrolling features we’re waiting for data to be available on the extent of the harm from them and for research to be done to show if they really are addictive and it’s not reasonable for human beings to resist without external regulation so that evidence will go a long way to determine just how big or how small future bans might be so this opinion might sound strange coming from a video that’s delivered right now to you through TikTok and YouTube short but I’m prepared that when my kids grow up that this sort of short form scrolling type feeds will no longer exist and we will deliver our messages through healthier means am I a hypocrite in the meantime for putting content on a platform I say is harmful probably I suppose my broad aim is that the more of my videos you see the less inclined you are to feel like you need to be here on social media there’s just so much more to being human and life than being here that’s my hope let me know what you think about the social media ban and what have you heard and what do you think of it and where do you think all this is going to end up

Date: 2025-06-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7519838450309254418?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 301: Where do all the adults go? Are we as adults role modelling for young people good habits for use of tech?

what do you think we need to do to protect young people from the harm of social media AI and a lot of other tech I hear a lot of adults saying don’t do this and don’t do that well if we tell young people not to do something what are we telling them to actually do instead the best I’ve heard is for them to go outside and play but that’s not advice that’s just a throw away line this goes to something I’ve noticed we do a lot as parents and adults through generations which is that we do a lot of telling but not much showing we don’t want to take on the responsibility of positively role modelling what we tell kids to do if we tell kids to go outside and play why don’t we put our phones down and go outside and play the fact is that we as adults are we are clearly just as poor in managing technology risks as young people are we are just as addicted to devices and doom scrolling we are just as prone to negativity there is just as much impact and damage to adult lives and young people can see that we do very little to show we recognise those risks for ourselves we don’t talk about our own behaviours we don’t show we have steps to mitigate the risks for ourselves it is like telling young people how dangerous smoking is while we light up everywhere we go or telling them they have to put hats and sunscreen on to go out in the sun but we don’t do it ourselves it doesn’t work over the past two years I’ve been looking for where my kids can go under my supervision to see a group of adults participating in online behaviour that is healthy and engaging and productive and empowering and like I said I can see and find a lot of experts telling us what to do but I can’t find where people are actually doing it can you help me with this problem

Date: 2025-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7519484146918444306?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 417: Time Machine. What would I fix if I had a time machine?

if I had a time machine and I can travel back 10 years what would I fix maybe I’d buy bitcoins when it costs virtually nothing or maybe I change all those business decisions and turn every one of them into a success or I’d prepare my dad for his hospital episode so he didn’t have to die how much better would life be if I could fix all those things or maybe I don’t change anything so that I can be exactly where I am now with gratitude for what I have and not waste the next 10 years looking to fix everything that went wrong and lose track of all the things that went right

Date: 2025-06-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7519074957842763026?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 300: Volatile News Day.

today is a very volatile news day if you’re seeing this message is probably because you’re affected by those disturbing news that’s filling your feed on a day like this people ask me to weigh in on what’s happening my best advice to you is step back from your screen none of the solutions to what is happening will come from being immersed in turmoil you’re likely getting more stressed and anxious with every post that flashes in front of you solutions come from careful considered thought about what has happened and what you will do next protect your emotional regulation at a time like this so you can make good decisions stay informed by intentionally visiting information sources that are useful and be just as intentional to step away once you’re done go to places that calm you be with people who settle you engage in safe spaces that ground you we need you today more than on other days to be clear eyed and steady as we face our challenges thank you for taking care of yourself and by doing so care for everyone else may peace and courage bless us all on this difficult day

Date: 2025-06-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7518707122947820818?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 299: Man on the Roof.

I’ll tell you about an episode I once had where a young man climbed up to the roof of an aged care facility I was managing and I had to deal with it it happened 12 years ago when I started a new position managing an aged care facility and it was my first week there still getting to know the place and know the people that I was uh to work with so on a cold and windy afternoon a staff member came and reported to me that a stranger a young man was on the roof of one of our buildings and so obviously that wasn’t a typical day we called the police as standard procedure and then I went to the top floor of that building to the window that opens to the roof space that he was on we cleared the corridor and that whole area and we made sure that our elderly residents and the staff and volunteers they were all calm and doing okay in spite of the commotion so as we waited for the police I calmed myself down and then I stuck my head out the window to greet the young man and to have a conversation with him he looked anxious and scared I chatted with him for a while to try and build some trust he felt safe enough to be willing to come in through the window and we gave him a blanket to keep him warm and then our catering staff made a plate of sandwiches for him and we talked a bit more as we waited the police arrived a little later and took him away the next day the young man’s family came to visit and to thank us he’s been struggling with some mental health challenges and he had gone missing so he had swam across the river near our facility and he climbed the fence and then climbed up to the roof both the young man and his family came back a few more times after that and we were able to talk in less stressful circumstances so there’s a lot that I can talk about from that whole episode but for this video I want to focus on the moment I stood at the window under the roof and what I was feeling and what I was thinking I understand that a stranger trespassing and then being on a rooftop looks strange and feels unsafe the usual response is to let the police handle it but by the time I reached the window we’ve already done everything we can to keep everyone safe so the only decision left for me is how much I actually want to get involved through working with marginalised community I’ve seen many behaviours that we can label as unsafe but actually once we know where those behaviour come from they actually pose no danger to anyone besides the people showing it so to me poking my head out from a distance having a chat and seeing where it goes was worth doing but why bother at all the police was on their way and this person will be gone soon whether I do it or not so why do it so let’s flip the perspective and imagine what the scene looks like for the young man so he’s sitting high on the building rooftop it’s cold and it’s windy he can see people gathering around on the ground and some are pointing some are alarmed he can probably imagine that the police will show up soon he would be on high alert and at a time like that out of all the things around him what would signal to him that it’s okay to calm down so maybe just a friendly face someone sticking out the window willing to treat him like a normal human being so that day I wanted safety for myself and for everyone around me and that has to include the young man on the roof whether the world feels safe depends on how often we give others the chance to be safe around us safety is a mutual obligation and not every difficult moment has to be a bomb threat to be diffused some windows maybe are too dangerous and must stay shut but the safety of the world around me and the life I have depends on me opening windows instead of closing them and to be able to chat with people on the other side so who’s on the outside of the window in front of you who may be cold and scared can you turn your frown into a smile open that window and invite them in

Date: 2025-06-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7518345253020044562?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 298: Emotions in Time.

today is another day one day older for me one of the things that we cannot control is the passage of time always moving forward and dragging us along with it at 56 years old there are likely more days behind me than they are ahead of me that sounds despairing or depressing which are not the feelings I’m trying to convey but that happens when talking about a passage of time to say I wish time would slow down most of the time I wish I had more time to prepare time to get things done do you know the art of time travelling is very useful for dealing with emotions what I mean is that in every situation emotions ebb and flow someone who’s angry now will be calmer later on and someone who’s stressed may not be stressed at a later date someone excited will settle so it is knowing for something worth doing or worth saying it is also worth managing when to do it or when to say it the most powerful influence over our emotions is to be able to slow down time or stop it momentarily when something joyful happens to stay in the moment to savour it and let it bake into memory to become a future source of inspiration I hope today is a good day for you and for good things that happened to you that you stopped to immerse yourself in the emotions over what happened if not try it now and savour it before your feed steps in and takes over your time.

Date: 2025-06-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7517643448854383879?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 416: the spectrum of human emotions.

I was rereading this book Atlas of the heart by brené Brown yesterday this beautiful book maps out 87 human emotions and experiences and it shows just how rich our feelings can be if we have the language to explore them it is always a pleasure to reread this book That I’ve done quite a few times so much of finding meaning and purpose in life is recognising as a human being it is our privilege to experience the whole spectrum of human emotions but unfortunately so much public conversation these days is restricted to a very narrow part of that spectrum All of the great tech and great products and services and all these grand businesses that are changing the world most of the time when I hear about them I end up saying why you know what are they for why do they all feel so flat I’ll tell you about 10 minutes of my morning this morning I was outside in the cold morning air and I sneezed that bought that brought a bit of anxiety and a touch of embarrassment and I thought I was going to get sick again then those emotions settle down and as my friend slipped me a tissue I felt this gratitude and I felt this warm sense of belonging when somebody looks out for me and then I heard inside the kettle boiling and that brought a bit of impatience and that turned into anticipation for my cup of coffee as as I sipped my cup of coffee that brought relief and then a wave of calm as my attention turned to the birds that were singing in the trees and that brought me nostalgia as it triggers some memories of my childhood then that LED me to longing and wondering about how my kids are doing at their school when the sun broke through the clouds it filled me with this quiet awe and contentment as I thought about what else the day might bring so now all of those emotions were packed into a brief 10 minutes of my morning so you see I’m not after the next big all singing all dancing technology or the latest trend that might make it big or make me rich I don’t want to chase after a life that I already have and what I have is a life where I can experience being human and being immersed in this richness of the spectrum of human emotions

Date: 2025-06-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7517175049825111303?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 415: Chendol.

this is chendol one of my favourite desserts from my home country of Malaysia it’s been a few months since I did a dessert gratitude I think joy is for those who recognise what we need and take steps together and today I need chendol

Date: 2025-06-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7517134013333523730?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @00GBANGER00 Reflection 297: Constantly empathetic?Am I constantly empathetic?

this is an interesting question do I have good and bad days in terms of being empathetic? I think if you follow me around on a typical week 90 to 95% of the time there wouldn’t be much difference between you and I in terms of how empathetic is if I compare to you or anybody else because most of the time living a normal life we’re not called to be or not be empathetic even if you’re in a profession like that involves high emotional engagement like nursing or being a psychologist the moments you’re triggered to invoke emotions should be very low most of the time if I should be routine work where we’re doing same tasks or using our cognitive brain to decide on actions instead of needing to be or not be empathetic so having said that though as a human being I come to realise I’m not usually defined by those standard 90% of the my life that emotional way emotional levels are very low I’m usually perceived and assessed based on those times where that calls on me to handle high emotions when people need me or when difficult situations arise or or even when really big events that’s worth celebrating happens what I try to do is to put myself in situations where I have the best chance to respond in an empathetic way that means that I remain in good health so my body is regulated that means I surround myself with people or been situations where empathy is useful to the people and the situation around me and you can make a difference and I learn strategies while I am calm about how to handle these high emotional scenario emotions these scenarios so I wouldn’t say I have higher or lower levels of empathy than anyone else but I think I consciously put myself in more situations to be able to be empathetic than other people so that isn’t a straightforward answer to you but I hope you give you an insight thank you

Date: 2025-06-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7516878446128106770?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Hardest question that AI ever faced? I saw this ad on my LinkedIn and I can’t resist. Honestly, AI can’t answer most human questions, even simple ones! #humour

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Date: 2025-06-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7516860158887103751?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=752309345488942030
Gratitude 414: Care too much.

do you feel like you care too much in a world that rewards those who care very little I do when I was young my mum and dad taught me to be kind to care for other people when I went to school all the teachers said care about your classmates when I grew up I Learned that people expect me to look after them and that’s how relationships are supposed to be when I open up ChatGPT these days and ask what is the path to a good life it says to me I should care for my family and serve my community but they all don’t stack up do they the rewards don’t seem to match the effort I put in it just seems like when I care I get hurt when I care for people people don’t care for me I keep getting the raw end of the stick it seems what I get from caring is a lot of pain and a lot of scars and who wants that today I was helping at my church and there was a funeral and the family for the person who died were crying and saying how much he cared for them and what he meant to them and I look at his family his widow his children his grandchildren his friends I look at the impact he’s had and I wonder if you ever thought like me that he cared too much in a world made for people who cares very little maybe he did but I’m thinking that’s okay maybe the point of caring about other people isn’t that I get the reward it is that the people I care for do

Date: 2025-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7516073933813206280?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 296: What makes you happy?

I wanna talk about what makes me happy and how to keep a happy life if you’ve been searching for that secret this may be it first how do I know if something really makes me happy in today’s complex life a lot of things appear to be joyful but really are just short term dopamine hits I tell by the fact that I look forward to something but I’m not compelled to do it and while I’m doing it I feel light and uplifted it also pulls me towards others where I share it these days there’s a lot of focus on understanding happiness there are research and rankings and news and even AI AI have become an expert on explaining it we’ve never understood happiness more than we do now but we appear to be more unhappy than we’ve ever been knowing how to be happy is not the same as being happy why is that think about something else that we are very familiar with which is our breathing we breathe fine without understanding or analysing it our understanding only makes a difference to special cases like elite athletes or singers but for most of us day to day breathing just happens happiness is the same to me most of the state I call happiness is outside of the thinking brain is in my physiology and my emotions and my interconnections and all those other parts of being human pursuing deep analysis doesn’t get me happiness to me it is the practice of it is the experience of it it is letting go of constantly thinking and staying with moment then sharing the experience with others so what activities makes me happy if you watch enough of my videos you know that it is simple things like doing my laundry like cooking and sharing my cooking today is Sunday and it is a happy day because it is laundry and cooking day so I’ve been doing all this for 50 odd years but I don’t have a grand theory about why and how it makes me happy it’s just like breathing happiness comes because I let it come to me it doesn’t mean that my thinking brain is useless Its job is to recognise my happy state and engineer my environment so that it can happen it’s like keeping my laundry space functional and putting time aside for cooking and inviting people over to eat the thinking brain controls my actions to create the environment so I’m gonna move on to do my laundry now and it’s over to you what makes you happy even if you don’t understand it now go do it and I’d love for you to share it with me

Date: 2025-06-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7515712356698098951?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 295: Have you made it in life?

I walked into a restaurant earlier today and uh it was pretty quiet restaurant for a Saturday morning not many people there I looked at the menu and the menu’s pretty average and it looks like he’s kept the same menu the owners kept the same menu for many years I spoke to him the owner for a little bit and I asked him about his restaurant and he said that he’s had it for up close to 20 years and during that time he hasn’t actually made that much changes and most of his business is on the Friday night and Saturday night and and the rest of the time he opened he only opens partially he and he’s happy you know with that that he doesn’t look for big ambitions that the food they serves the customers are pretty happy with the food that he has and the average families that’s been going to him for for many years so it made me think and it’s worth pondering on question of when is it enough when have we made it and for this restaurant owner he obviously is happy with what he’s achieved and where he is that’s okay for people like him and I who are you know old 50 60 years old and at the end of our careers but in today’s world with a lot of younger people everybody has to hustle have to make something of their lives and and have to struggle and and and challenge themselves and to to move forward and I think that’s a good thing I hope that my children would have that sense of struggle and challenge and the the sense that they wanna achieve excellence but in another sense there’s also that maybe some parts of your life we want to try and achieve something but other parts of our lives we have made it that if we have our family that loves us that we have people around us that we like to be we like our routines we like what we do on weekends and relax that those things in those aspects that we have made it and we should be content with that and we should have gratitude for that so today I ponder about that you know what is it that says that we have made it and maybe the different parts of our lives that some parts we haven’t made it some parts we have thanks for sharing today with me

Date: 2025-06-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7515663489151601928?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 413: Baking.

just making some cakes for family and to share with friends sometimes I’m amazed at the things that’s available for doing baking these days like these amazing cake mixes equipment like electric mixers and and these toppings look how fun and amazing they are sometimes we get caught up with all these new things that’s available that we forget that the things that bring value to our lives are those things that hasn’t changed that hasn’t changed for hundreds and thousands of years which are parents who love our children and wanting to make cakes for them and then having friends and communities that we wanna share things with it’s those things that brings our value to our lives and so today I’m grateful for those things that doesn’t change for hundreds and thousands of years

Date: 2025-06-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7514485469426601234?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @evelina❣️🌸

hi Evelina thank you for being so open and so brave in sharing your story and in your consent for me to reply to you openly in a video I deeply appreciate that trust losing your dad and his stepdad so early would have an incredibly heavy impact on you and your mum so it’s completely understandable why life feels like it’s really challenging for you it’s not that you’re doing something wrong or that you’re failing it is because you’re carrying more weight and you’re navigating life complexities that others might not even see so when we experience significant loss or very tough circumstances early in life it often feels like we’re behind or we’re struggling and more than other people that we see around us but the struggles you’re facing aren’t evidence that you’re failing they highlight your incredible strength in facing them that every step you take today tomorrow and every day after that even when you it feels small and not enough they are meaningful progress it’s okay to feel lost sometimes I do everyone does even if we don’t always show it so getting help from adults and mentors or trained therapist can be incredibly valuable for you professional therapists are equipped to support you in ways that someone like me cannot they can give you very specific guidance on on what your experiences are they can help you they can help you to safely explore your emotions and they offer very structured support for exactly what you need while what I can do here is limited to just general encouragement based on limited things I know or things that I’m experienced to comment on maybe you and your mum can explore finding help together step by step perhaps uh explore resources or support groups for families and more importantly be gentle with yourself your effort and how you feel matters a lot and you may be doing better than you realise I’m here cheering you on

Date: 2025-06-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7514192075336748295?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @♪ ─Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ─♪ Gratitude 412: Healing Presence.

Date: 2025-06-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7513969743192198418?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 294: Madleen

Today came the news of Freedom Flotilla Coalition’s yacht Madeline had been detained by the Israeli authorities and the a supplies that had on board that were meant for the Palestinian people in Gaza were confiscated. As someone with an active social media account, what is meaningful to say at time like this? What words are useful to help us process what is happening in Gaza? My first step in emotional awareness is always finding the right words to express the complexity of the emotions that I’m feeling. So what are those words? Sometimes I sit beside my children’s beds as they drop off to sleep and I look up at the ceiling and I know that no bombs will drop through them tonight. There are no sirens telling us that we have to evacuate. And when the boys wake up, I will know that I will have food on the table for them. As they drop off to sleep, I always say to them, sweet dreams, boys, daddy loves you. I wonder what the Palestinian parents in Gaza say to their children as they look at their ceiling and they listen to the sirens, as they hold their children in their arms, as the children slip away in starvation. What do they say? There are no words to this. The sound of thousands dying is silence. One day my children will wake up and become aware enough to ask, what sound did you make, daddy, as thousands of lives Slipped away social media statements alone cannot end suffering or feed those who are starving. But we can break silence. We can give words to realities that are distressing and urgent. There are sparks to illuminate truth and sustain pressure on those in power and to affirm the dignity and humanity of those who suffer. Unseen suffering should not be invisible or done in silence. Tonight, I stand with the people of Gaza, whose daily realities are shaped by deprivation and violence and profound suffering. I affirm the inherent dignity and the rights of the Palestinians to life, including access to food and medicine, and call for an end to all the policies and actions that deepen this human tragedy.

Date: 2025-06-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7513730403463728402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Lakakisu Reflection 293: All good life operates on balance.

I think the answer is that social media is neither inevitable nor is it that we have to stay away from it entirely all good life operates on balance and once the social media hype dies down then we will use it for a little bit and at other times we’ll stay away from it

Date: 2025-06-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7513533302918139143?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @cutelilguy

Overlay text on video

Date: 2025-06-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7513179349407796498?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 411: I appreciate you being here.

I would like to comment on something that I do regularly here which is to say to people who leave a comment on my content that I appreciate you being here that I’m glad that you’re here someone said to me today that I don’t know most of the people who leave comments so how can it be that I am glad that any possible person who are here that they are here how can I actually mean that well if my content triggers a response and you reach out I’m glad that that happened more than that though my love for a fellow human being is unconditional there a lot of people that I don’t agree with that I stand against that admonish what they do but my love for fellow human being is unconditional it is unconditional because I like you am flawed that I make mistakes and I mess up and when I do mess up I cannot get myself to split hairs and say how much more flawed someone else is compared to me we are all in the same boat of being flawed human beings I hope for love when I mess up and I work as hard as I can sometimes succeeding sometimes not but still try and give the love to someone who also messes up so when I say I appreciate you being here it’s saying I’m going to open a door to try and connect to you to paraphrase a line from the movie a Few Good Men I want that door open I need that door open that door can only stay open for me if I choose to try and give every human being unconditional love doesn’t make me special just makes me as flawed as you are

Date: 2025-06-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7512372249291279624?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 292: Invisible

one thing I noticed about social media there are a lot of viral videos where in the comment section there are a lot of viewers who are expressing distress and emotional needs but the original content creators don’t engage in it it seems that we are creating spaces where no one is responsible for the distress that’s being expressed and as a parent I am concerned about this because in the future my children may wander into one of those spaces can you tell me what you know about this is this a known phenomena and and are they documented responses from platforms and content creators about this this phenomenon is definitely known many large social media platforms and content creators have faced the issue where users express distress or emotional needs in comment sections but these comments often go unaddressed research and reports indicate that this can create a sense of emotional abandonment for users platforms like YouTube TikTok and Instagram have acknowledged these issues but responses vary some platforms have introduced mental health resources or prompts encouraging users to seek help while others have relied on community guidelines and moderation tools tell me more about how what content creators think about this content creators have mixed feelings about this issue many feel a strong sense of responsibility toward their audience especially when viewers share personal struggles or distress in the comments they often want to help but may feel overwhelmed by the volume of messages or unsure about the best way to respond some creators try to engage directly offering words of encouragement or directing followers to mental health resources others create dedicated content addressing mental health topics to foster a supportive community however there’s also a recognition that they are not trained mental health professionals and might not be equipped to handle every situation this can lead to burnout or emotional strain some creators set boundaries using automated responses or relying on moderation teams to manage comments overall the response varies widely depending on the creator’s capacity audience size and personal approach to community engagement and are there documented responses from viewers from audiences yes there are documented responses from audiences as well many viewers appreciate when creators acknowledge their comments and show empathy this kind of engagement can foster a strong sense of community and loyalty however when creators don’t engage with distressed comments some viewers feel ignored or unsupported which can lead to frustration or a sense of isolation on the other hand some audience members understand the limitations creators face and don’t expect personal responses there’s also a growing awareness among viewers about the importance of mental health and the need for professional support rather than relying solely on content creators overall audience responses highlight the need for more robust mental health support mechanisms on social media platforms is there research on this area yes there’s quite a bit of research on this area studies have explored the psychological impact of social media interactions on both users and creators for instance research published in journals like the journal of Medical Internet Research and Cyber Psychology Behaviour and Social Networking examine the prevalence of mental health discussions in comment sections and the emotional burden on creators other research focuses on the role of social media platforms in providing mental health resources or the effectiveness of interventions such as automated support messages or community moderation these studies often highlight the gap between the need for mental health support and the current capabilities of social media platforms calling for more comprehensive solutions if you want to dive deeper academic databases like Pubmed or Google Scholar can provide access to these studies for verification and more information

Date: 2025-06-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7511591153863626002?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 291: Success and failure in my university studies.

I’ll share with you a story about my university studies that says a lot about the concept of success and failure I have the unusual status of being a high performing graduate and a dropout at the same time at the university of Western Australia I did four years of undergraduate in computer science and it went smoothly and I graduated with first class honours then I did my PhD also in computer science and although I had some initial success with journal and conference publications and i wrote a book chapter for well known research at the time I did meet a lot of complications personally and with my studies and also life and work opportunities at the time so I ended up not finishing it now for many years mainly responding to what people tell me I used to think of my undergraduate years as a success and my postgraduate PhD as a failure but after 30 years since my studies you know I realised that I faced these same complex life decisions again and again as I did in my studies and there are always many complications to think about and there are pros and cons to every decision and the only success is working hard making the next decision as best I can and making the most out of that once I made the decision cause if I sit and just bask in my own glory of my honours degree then that’s not success it’s just an anchor that will drown me in the end and similarly it will be toxic for me to just wallow in the failure of not completing my postgraduate degree instead of recognising that I did many things well and I learnt many lessons on how to handle hardship and and I learnt many things about what I don’t do well that I have learnt to improve you know like bring people along with me with my decisions rather than getting grumpy with them when they when they don’t agree with me so all of these experiences are great resources to build a happy life around life is what we make of it regrets are emotional ties to unexpected events that are best for us to learn to let go of The value is in the journey the UPS and downs and the relationships with people not all of whom are going to agree with my decisions but I love them still in the end my happiness is what I make out of all my experiences and the story that I create out of it

Date: 2025-06-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7511420250093538568?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The privilege of attention

IMAGE

Date: 2025-06-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7510926772326747410?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Just to say hello

IMAGE

Date: 2025-06-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7510926767943666951?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 290: The value of social media content.

today I wonder about the value of making social media content if I don’t want to sound smart to entertain to perform or even to inspire if I don’t want to gather an audience or to build a customer base is there still value in me making content is there still value for someone like me who is creating content mainly for my children and for generations to come this is how I think about content like the video that you’re watching now it is like an invitation that I scribble on a piece of paper and I put it into a bottle and I throw it out to sea It will reach someone who I do not know and probably will never meet but that piece of me that’s in that bottle will mean something to someone who recognises my story in theirs therefore that piece of me who now have a life of its own in another person carried beyond me you and I are here at this moment with you watching this because somewhere in my story and somewhere in yours our stories overlap it is the ability to find these overlapping stories and what we do with it that creates the magic of social media without it it becomes an imitation it is a bit of movie a bit of newspaper a bit of classroom but is sterile and without depth and not all of them are whole but when we fully engage with our overlapping stories we will find meaning we could never find before we will find belonging that never existed before and we will find joy that we could never imagine if we try on social media to be smart or to perform to entertain to be inspirational to gather audiences to find customers social media will burn us out because we will be overwhelmed by the strength of thousands of stories there are flooding our feeds that we have no way of meaningfully absorbing so I urge you to keep your integrity to live here simply and honestly to seek to be human rather than to get attention to just be you and that is the message that I want to leave for my children and for anyone who finds one of the bottles that I cast out to sea and maybe one day I’ll find one of yours

Date: 2025-05-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7510206605074468104?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 409: Ageing.

today I’m grateful for ageing I caught up with a colleague working in aged care today she challenged me to justify why ageing is good she wanted me to convince her that I genuinely look forward to when I’m 76 20 years from now this is why I told her I’m looking forward to being 76 because they are friends I’ve yet to meet with whom I’ll share conversations that I can’t yet imagine I look forward to knowing my boys as men and discovering who they’ve become and learning from the paths that they have chosen I cannot wait to meet my grandchildren people who don’t exist yet but whom I know I will love with all my heart that I gladly would trade 20 years of my life to meet ageing doesn’t have to be about loss it is about unfolding or those rich chapters and relationships and moments still to come that will reveal themselves to us

Date: 2025-05-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7510085181827468551?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 289: Big boys cry alone.

how many boys just scrolled off the moment they see that this video is about crying when I was growing up no men ever cried well none that I could see little boys cried big boys don’t cry that lesson I learned loud and clear even if no one specifically taught that to me whenever I cried everyone was uncomfortable and tried to fix me and stop me from doing it and that made me feel even worse and made me wanna cry even more after a while I noticed I was the only boy crying I learned not to cry because big boys don’t cry As a child I had a baby toy elephant that I held on to every night to go to sleep I wet my bed so much that eventually that elephant had to be thrown away I don’t remember how that affected me it was just a toy just silly stuff every kid goes through I don’t remember crying about it then but why am I crying now As I got older I learned about mental health I Learned that crying was courageous I was told let it out be vulnerable embrace it they said it was healthy honestly how healthy is it to cry alone these days sometimes things happen to me that makes me cry but I cry when the kids have gone to sleep I cry when the house is silent and no one is around to feel awkward around I cry into the dark empty night because it’s safer to be sad by myself than to deal with someone else’s confusion sometimes I find myself crying on camera crying to a camera seems to be safer somehow because it doesn’t make faces at me I can pretend it still likes me with all the tears many men cry on camera now funny though we all still choose to cry alone when my boys grow up what will they remember will they remember a childhood of tears hiding alone in silence Or will they remember a dad who loved him enough to show them openly the healing power of crying with others

Date: 2025-05-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7509045105903340808?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 408: Real Life Contact.

I’d like to thank @Iam-that-guy for this comment about preferring real life connections over online ones there is something profoundly important about face to face connections and contact that technology simply can’t replicate our current understanding from neuroscience shows us why it’s critical for newborns to develop their early relationships face to face rather than true a screen Because from these earlier earliest days babies developed through cues like direct eye contact and facial expressions physical touch and the sound and the rhythm of voice from their parent or their caregiver these cues are the foundations of our emotional and social ties to people and they persist for you and I from adolescent to to adulthood so for example if you and I are in the same place and the temperature turns cold or there is some signs or some sounds of danger we can respond with each other but if we are across a screen like that only one of us will experience it and then there are digital artifacts like when I speak you are reacting with your facial expression only a fraction later so when I don’t see it I can associate exact moment when with what I’m saying with your facial expression so all these things tells our very complex brain like ours that we are not together that we are alone and we are actually separated so oxytocin that’s the hormone that um is responsible for bonding and trust is significantly less activated over online interactions compared to face to face experiences so we don’t feel as close so there are definitely benefits to online connections I connect everyday online and allows me to reach people that are far away and for strangers an initial interaction gives us healthy distance when it’s built online so online platforms like um telehealth have been great to allow people to ease into therapy but when it comes to building a really close relationship whether it’s a personal or professional one we need face to face interactions um we should have a percentage of our relationships that are built through these real life interactions so on this note uh keep an eye out for upcoming announcements um about meet UPS for those of you living or visiting Brisbane I’ll set aside some time on Sunday afternoons to meet anyone who happens to be in the city centre probably in an open air cafe or something like that I’ve offered these casual ad-hoc meet UPS uh when I was travelling but I love to do it consistently in Brisbane city centre where I spend most Sundays so there’s nothing formal there won’t be any cameras and it’s certainly not for performance just a chance to drop by and say hi and exchange a smile and greeting or can sit down and have coffee or have a drink together so watch out for those announcements

Date: 2025-05-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7508621056794447122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 288: The Age of Humanity

I hear the winds of a revolution, a movement towards being decent and whole human beings, where we can finally sit comfortably with ourselves and turn towards each other to hold out our hands and take the hands of those who hold out theirs. The age of finance has come and gone and it has brought us global crisis and turmoil. The age of technology has come and gone and it has left us with distractions and confusion. We are further from who we are than we ever were. We are more separated from each other than we ever had been. Money, devices, recognition, influence, these are tools. They are not solutions. The humanity inside us and between us is the solution. The revolution is upon us. And like all great revolutions, it doesn’t come with loud noises or fanfare. It doesn’t need to appeal to our guilt and it doesn’t need to reach into our pockets or our wallets. He steps up and gently walks alongside us until one day we realise it has always been with us. It is a quiet invitation for us to embrace it daily, moment to moment. Our humanity has always been a part of us. It invites us now to be a part of it. Welcome to the age of humanity.

Date: 2025-05-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7508312552741424402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @AnanyaViv Reflection 287

yeah hurt people hurt people not all some and healed people heal people not all some for me it is recognising that I am hurt and I have hurt other people then I can forgive those who hurt me and by doing so forgive myself and that’s when the healing starts

Date: 2025-05-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7508305739849567495?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 407: Laundry Highlights.

Something interesting was happening in front of City Hall today. There was an unusual gathering of people as I passed it. And I thought for a moment I should go in and get some footage for social media, some highlights for today that might attract attention. I remembered that I already had footage of my washing in my laundry from the morning and that was more highlight for me than any fancy event in City Hall. That’s what I’ll share with you now. Normal things happen to me sometimes and they’re interesting, but they are not highlights of my life. My highlights are my laundry and meals and brushing my teeth and going see my doctor. Those daily things that I can latch on to, to build a happy life around here. I like to share with you genuine pieces of myself. Even if they’re not very interesting, they are highlights of myself I can connect on. And the highlight I have of myself today is my laundry.

Date: 2025-05-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7508000664182607122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 286: The world is mean.

I was sitting in the food court this afternoon and a guy said something to me that wasn’t very nice and I remember the thought came in my head why is the world so mean these days do you ever have that thought why is the world so mean of course that wasn’t really what was happening what was happening was that I was hurt he hurt me but it’s a lot easier to think in broad universal generalities like the world is mean because if the world is mean then that’s just some abstract concept about the world and I can’t change the world it doesn’t have much to do with me so I won’t have to go around being this soppy weak little boy who can be hurt by someone serving food in a food court but maybe it would have been better for me to be soppy for five minutes deal with it let in the hurt and move on would’ve been better to have done that than spend the rest of my day picking fights with people while I look for the signs to fulfill my own prophecy that the world is mean

Date: 2025-05-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7507622854842764562?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Jimba Sometime invitations to engage can seem like trolling when we don’t work through what is triggering us.

I’d like to share this comment that I received today I wanna thank Jimba who said that he wish I’d let the subject in the video speak for herself without my narration so that we can see how she overcame fear in silence and he reminds us how powerful it can be simply to let a moment breathe by itself and I’m grateful that he shared that perspective in my space but I also want to share with you and talk honestly about my first reaction when I read this comment I thought it was a troll I just couldn’t get past that phrase “if you just stop talking” everything else in the comment disappeared as I was just processing that bit all I could hear is that criticism that I talk too much that reaction that going to that very defensive mode that’s something happens to me and I know it happens a lot in online conversations it happens because we pour effort and our attention and our emotions into something and the response we get though seem to show that someone is appreciating it so it feels like rejection and that’s a very negative space that our minds like to wallow in so now I’m going to have to do some emotional work on my ego and on that vulnerable part of me that clings to needing to be validated I need to do work on those and it is worth doing the work to overcome that type of negativity because if not I miss invitation like this comment invitation into someone else’s world someone who took the time and care to leave a message and to craft a message and show enough trust to tell me what they need and what they hope and the world that they wish to see and that is something that is worth receiving with joy

Date: 2025-05-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7506876662127152392?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 285: Starting Fresh.

I found out something about Chat G P t today. There are many ways for you to start fresh as if you’re talking to it for the first time. So no matter how many conversations you’ve had with it in the past, how much memories it has saved up, all you have to do is tell it to forget and it will forget and we get to start fresh. Would you like that for your real life relationships? The option to start fresh? If you make a mistake with someone, just wipe it clean and start again fresh. One of the feature characteristics of human relationships is that we can’t go back. If we have an uplifting experience with someone, we will always have it even if we sometimes we forget to celebrate it. And if something goes wrong, we say something we shouldn’t have or they did something they shouldn’t have, then we can’t go back. The damage is done. That is the hard thing about human relationships. It is also the glorious thing about human relationships because it is knowing we can’t wipe the slate clean, we can’t rewind things that happened, that we have to commit to repairing what may have gone wrong. The glory of a relationship is not in the fact that nothing ever goes wrong. It is in the courage in caring deep enough to go on the difficult journey to repair what went wrong, to preserve what is still right and to look At our scars and cherish the fact that we are looking at it together.

Date: 2025-05-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7506461322557607176?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A Meaningful Life #5: Bath Bombs.

Tonight, the children were playing with bath bombs before their shower. They had so much fun. I wonder what memories they’ll have of tonight when they grow up. Would they remember the colourful spread and the laughter or would they remember the big mess at the end and the sadness seeing it all? Life events are like that. Some are bright and some are dark and a mixture of all different experiences happening at different times. It is how we tell our stories that determine what is in our memories. I hope they make space for all of it, the colours and the mess and everything in between. It is holding all of it that brings meaning to our lives.

Date: 2025-05-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7505639518578478354?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 405: A community in the inner city.

I had a conversation this morning with a friend who has a house in one of the inner city suburbs in Brisbane she mentioned that she normally goes out for a morning stroll without closing her front door and I thought that’s worth exploring because of the safety issues being in the busy metropolitan city so she told me that she lives in this little pocket where all the residents have been there for many years and they know each other and they can depend on each other they watch out for their neighborhood because strangers don’t usually enter that little pocket she said she likes walking out the door into the neighborhood because she said she feels safe and familiar and comfortable there and I thought about that conversation uh and the fact that it’s worth to bring up here in social media because in the tech dominated communities that we have online we normally build uh and make decisions about communities Through things that involve our information or transactions on information we have things like uh events and uh games and uh live streams and we post in exchange media and uh and content but the heart of human experience uh what actually fulfills us are beyond those things human experience are based on trust and belonging and safety and mutual care so think about the online communities that you are in and does it have the qualities that my friend said that is in her local neighbourhood can you feel safe there do you feel like you can that you care for each other do you feel like you have some basic sort of relationship or belonging a lot of times we make the excuse that online is different from offline that relationships are different online from offline but is that really so we’re still humans and we still need the same connections and emotional safety another excuse we normally give is that is easier to build a closer community when we are geographically in the same place again is that really so many people living next to each other in cities don’t have that and the people in that pocket that where my friend lives probably will not have community if they just relied on living next to each other and nothing else there wouldn’t be a community if they only show up for big events like Christmas parties or and for the rest of the year then just everybody’s invisible and they wouldn’t be a community if people don’t come out and greet each other in the evenings or during weekends uh the they won’t be a community if they don’t check on someone who might actually need help anything meaningful and worthwhile in community is built from consistently doing simple things with each other so wherever you are in the online space think about whether you want to have that kind of community the one that I just described and if you do then what are the simple and consistent things that you’re doing to build that community

Date: 2025-05-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7505222413387418888?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @SMEGMA Reflection 284: Turtles in an unsafe world.

I like to acknowledge and share with you that world seems to be very self centred to me too everyone seems to be looking out for themselves but I also like to share with you coming from a big family and being very active in very large communities all my life and also the past two years being intensely active online that the image of people that we have is an illusion it is created by the rapid diffusion of technology by hyperconnecting people in ways that we didn’t expect very rapidly uh and also not having mechanisms in order to navigate around each other’s differences I’d like you to think of it like a turtle that the image that we see of people is their shell but they are inside afraid to come out because the world seems to be very uh unsafe there’s a lot of fear and there’s a lot of pain but stick around and slowly we will learn to navigate around this new world we have and we will build those safe places I thank you for being a part of what we do

Date: 2025-05-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7505074322382343432?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 283: How can I make my children happy? Letting go is one of the fundamental part of dignity.

There’s a question that all parents ask, how can my children be happy? It is one of the quintessential questions of parenthood. However, though we ask that question, what often preoccupies us more is how can I make my children happy? The two might sound the same, but they are fundamentally different. The first is about the children. The second is about us. How can I make my children happy? What if I can’t make my children happy? What if someone else can make them happier than I can? What does it say about me if someone else can bring more joy to them than I can? Those are tough questions for a parent, sometimes terrifying questions. But I’m raising those questions in this video not just to speak to parents, because the questions apply to every human being. These are questions about our dignity. What if I can’t do the job? What if I can’t be what others want me to be? Why would anyone want me? And those are tough questions, sometimes terrifying. I don’t have the answers for you in this video, but I do know that when I love my children enough to let go of how I can make them happy and let them find their best happiness they can, that they invariably find their way back to me because what makes them happy is my love enough to let them be free.

Date: 2025-05-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7504271148658609426?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 404: Old Familiar Song.

하오 이 도매리디 머리화 there’s a line from a famous Chinese song called morlihua the Jasmine Flower it’s my dad’s favourite song one that he got all in the family to sing all the time in karaoke whether we wanted to or not my dad died in 2018 and now we all wish he’s still around to tell us to sing the song one more time we last sang a song at his deathbed in the hospital as his breath became shallower and he slowly left us with this song filling the air this tune has been on my mind lingering all day one day science is going to be able to explain every microscopic details of how that works every bit of neuron and connection and makes the memory work how it is stored how it is triggered how it lingers but no matter how sophisticated the science gets I still won’t be able to explain how seven years after his death I still get to spend a day with him just from the power of an old familiar song

Date: 2025-05-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7503364455976160530?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 403: Little Cactus.

Just watering the little cactus in my kid’s room is starting to grow little baby pups. Now. You see, this cactus has had a tough two years ago it was attacked by birds on my branda and we’ve been caring for it ever since and it’s now a part of our family. It is in my kids room because it reflects something important that I want them to see in this world. How good things are does not depend on how they look or even what they are, depends on how we treat it. Sometimes when something traumatic happens, we feel we have to fix it or make it go away when what it needs is to be treated nicely and it will on its own grow and heal to be the beautiful thing it always is and it’s always meant to be.

Date: 2025-05-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7503170829388172552?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 282: Movie Anticipation.

went to see the movie The Thunderbolts today or should I call it the new Avengers movie one of the best experiences with watching movies is the anticipation as I walk into the theatre I’m not sure what will be shown what I will feel and what will unfold that anticipation is what adds spice to life when life is going well I have a movie in my head a story that I’m looking forward to unraveling before me having the story in my head means I have hope if that story I’ve already seen there’s no unfinished scenes then hope is gone reflecting on the past can be nurturing but we need anticipation of a future to push us forward we need dreams think about what movie you’re craving for what are you looking forward to unfolding in your life I hope the excitement carries you forward And your movie is a blockbuster

Date: 2025-05-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7502459946676522248?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 281: Intention.

I’m arriving back in Brisbane today after a tiring one week trip. The constant travel, moving from one place to another has taken its toll and I’m physically drained and mentally fatigued. And when I’m exhausted, my mind wonders. When tired, small things gets amplified. My thoughts drift towards the negative things I’m facing, the hundreds of unread emails needing my attention. All things that went wrong this week are sticking in my mind. The negativity overshadowed everything else. But then there’s the other side, the one that I have consciously chosen to engage in. I can bask myself in the warm feelings of reconnecting with people that I love this week, the precious moments we shared and meaningful things that we accomplished during our week travel. I compare my mind to algorithms. When algorithms face events or interactions, they tend to amplify negativity because they operate without values or emotional intelligence. But we as humans have the power of intentions. Unlike algorithms, we have perspective, values and the ability to deliberately direct our attention towards what enriches our lives, lifting us up rather than dragging us down. This intentionality, this human strength is why I believe we will prevail as we reshape online spaces into something meaningful. On my Uber ride home today, I think about the state of the world. The world is not in a very good place right now. There are a lot of messes we have to clean up. That makes it even more critical. I have intentions as to where I place my attention because that determines whether I’m part of the mess or I can be a part of the solution to it.

Date: 2025-05-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7501699455863803154?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 280: Meaningful Places.

I’ve been travelling a lot in the past few days and it makes me appreciate a few things about how locations and spaces turn into meaningful places I’ve been staying with family and joining family members as well as work colleagues in venues and locations to catch up it makes me think what turns any of those locations into meaningful places I think a moment that’s shared even in silence or doing something simple like sharing cup of coffee can be meaningful if it carries authentic if intent that I put effort into the activity and the other person also demonstrates effort that memories are formed there is impact that last longer than a momentary interaction also makes me think of online spaces like the one that you and I are sharing at the moment can we turn those spaces into meaningful places by approaching it in the same way tell me what you think what makes a meaningful place what are the online spaces that are meaningful places for you

Date: 2025-05-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7501330652969602311?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A coffee and a smile makes the world go round! Join me in Chatswood NSW 7-8 May 2025

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Date: 2025-05-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7500784882440736008?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 279: The election night speech I wish my children heard.

Friends, fellow Australians, the people have spoken. Your will is clear. We move forward now with courage and inspiration to build the nation you have called upon us to build. At a moment like this, I could repeat my campaign slogans and rally my base, but I won’t. I could use this platform to push forward my aspirations and my party’s agenda, but I won’t. There are times for that, to campaign and to highlight differences. And then there are times to unite and move the country forward. This is a time to unite. Let us step beyond the politics of winning and losing, beyond the politics of power and dominance, beyond the politics of division. Instead, let us embrace the politics of respect, of cooperation, of unity. Together, let us build the future our nation deserves. The conclusion of the campaign marks the start of something more important, a time of healing and coming together. This is a moment to show those we fiercely contested that we walk the same road, share the same future, and together uphold the same democracy. In victory, we offer respect to our opponents who fought valiantly and with passion. In defeat, we show Grace and celebrate the success of those chosen by the electorate. When we stand in opposition, we are not enemies on the long road of nation building. We are colleagues and we are partners. We work often beyond the spotlight together to build a shared future. We lift each other. When we falter, we stand shoulder to shoulder. In adversity, we rejoice together in the collective achievements of this great nation. Tonight, I pay tribute to my opponents, their teams and their supporters. I hope they continue to work tirelessly and passionately, for our collective efforts are the backbone of our vibrant democracy. I have made mistakes during this campaign, as I have in my political career. Tonight, I acknowledge and own them all. And I will move forward carrying the lessons they have taught me. I see a nation that can openly embrace mistakes, learning and growth to be defined by the boldness of our dreams rather than the fear of our missteps. I see a future that we have the courage to reach for, understanding that setbacks and complaints are simply evidence that we dare to be great. Many Australians did not vote for me today, but you remain a critical part of the vision of this country. Every vote counts and every voice matters, including those whose choice did not end up in the majority. Your right to walk into a ballot box to vote confers you the unalienable right to be heard and to thrive in this country, regardless of the slings and arrows of election campaigns. On election nights like this, we need not have half the country rejoice in euphoria while the other half be mire in despair. Because in the long road we walk together. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. But we Always move forward together. And to the next generation, harness your energy and believe in your voice. Demand from us, the custodians of your future, the highest standards, standards that match your dreams and your potential. For if we settle for less, we diminish not only ourselves, but also the possibilities that await all generations to come. Today is an important day for all of us. Today we come together to begin again, to lift each other and in doing so, lift ourselves to be the best version that we can be to ensure the nation we pass forward will match the greatness of our collective dreams. God bless this country.

Date: 2025-05-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7500207573791034642?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 402: Travel.

I’m at Brisbane Airport this morning I’m catching an early flight to Melbourne to catch up with family over the next couple of days I’m a bit get tired after a long day yesterday and packing overnight and I hope to catch some sleep while I’m on the flight in a moment the thing about this trip though is that everyone that I want to catch up with and everything that I need to discuss with them it would have been more efficient and convenient to do it online with the technology today to connect to anyone and anywhere is it really worth it and worth the tiring travel and the airports and the packing and waiting in the queues and so on well to me the answer is definitely yes it’s worth it besides the obvious difference that there is a richness to face to face contact compared to doing it on screen I wanna share with you another more important reason for me that I do it travelling to me is a form of ritual in our relationships travelling to meet up I mean they require effort and the effort is what brings relationship joy the funny thing about our brain is that I just won’t generate those long term few good chemicals if uh we don’t exert the effort so today I’m going to be grateful for my trip and the effort involved and all the timeness and airport queues and sleepy plane flights and all because they tell me that I care and I want to make the relationships work and they make those reunion reunions and the bonding just so much deeper

Date: 2025-05-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7499280261343923463?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 401: nice to meet you.

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Date: 2025-04-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7499081505415712008?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 278: No show lunch.

today I invited a bunch of people to get together for lunch and nobody showed up I wanna talk about the emotional impact of something like that and what am I going to do I sent some messages to a few friends few days ago uh because I had lunchtime free today while I was in the Brisbane city centre and a few projects around the King George Square area and on the square is pig and whistle which is quite popular pub restaurant so I invited a few of my friends who I thought might be in town today and also asked a few new people I met in the last couple of days to join me so some said yes and then some said maybe anyway I showed up as I planned and as I said nobody else came and nobody messaged me to say that they weren’t coming now as I sat there in the pub and finally accepting that no one is coming I could have gone a few different ways in responding I could make excuses for those people who didn’t come uh that it was a work day and it was last minute and probably I wasn’t very clear and I should have followed up um instead of just making a quick mention I could go the other way and criticize them for not taking a chance to catch up seriously as I did what I mean is not taking our friendship as seriously as I did but regardless of what my response is to them I want to deal with the emotions and and what to do with it this situation is quite common maybe it’s not exactly being stood up every time but certainly social gatherings um that doesn’t go as I planned or as I hoped or people don’t respond as I expected and there is this um painful sense of rejection when it happens and despondency and sometimes it’s this sense of um inadequacy you know coming from trying and then feeling like it was uh shoved back in my face my experience from living 55 years on this earth tells me that at these times my instincts are going to push me to blame others first sometimes with valid reasons but I also know from my 55 years living on this planet that regardless of what others did the real work is on uh what’s happening inside of me because these are the painful times that I will hear my own voice screaming out at me to say stuff it I’m never putting myself in that situation again or I’m done with people it’s just not worth it because times like this when I’m hurt is when I make extreme black and white decisions about people and that ultimately fulfills my own prophecy that leads me to being alone friendships and family and relationships they all like that they’re messy and glorious at the same time sometimes it takes sitting alone in a pub feeling embarrassed and hurt and um to make things obvious to me certain things that are not usually obvious that I’m grateful for how deeply I value relationships it shows me that I care temporary rejection like this as painful as it may be is nothing compared to the emptiness of not caring at all that emptiness of having given up on things that in the end makes life worth living like friendships and relationships so I’m going to reach out again probably with better planning this time um I’m going to sit on this discomfort instead of burying it and knowing that tomorrow is gonna be better than today and then the next day will be better again the emotions will dissipate and it will turn if I act in gratitude rather than in bitterness and reflecting on it and talking about it like I’m doing now it helps me to move forward I hope it helps you too because I think you would have had similar experiences to this one I had today and perhaps it stews inside you as it is stewing inside me I hope you can reflect on and talk to someone about it and I hope you find the gratitude in what happened

Date: 2025-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7498745726998957333?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 277: Communities and Audience Segments.

this video is mainly for anyone who notices their community of followers are seeming to suddenly change in behaviour the reason for this is that most of us content creators we come onto platforms social media platforms to build stable communities but platforms don’t operate on concept of communities regardless of their rhetoric platforms for commercial and entertainment purposes operate on audience segments which is a different thing what that means is that platform benefits and are set up for continuous regrouping of users based on their shifting interests or their moving trends those evolving behaviours they have found to maximise the uh maximize user engagements and they increase watch time and they boost advertising sales all those opportunities so instead of fostering the stable communities algorithms actively encourage the dynamic clustering those audience segments to rapidly change to keep content fresh and engaging and uh and that of course generates higher profits so that’s why you sometimes experience shifts in who interacts with you how they interact and even types of conversations that they engage in genuine social communities they depend on long term human relationships on trust on mutual understanding whereas some audiences they are intentionally temporary and fluid a movie theatre or a retail shop for instance isn’t made for one group of people sitting there for long periods without moving so if you’re a creator who values consistency and meaningful connections you can still do it uh it’s just not it’s just being able to recognise it’s not technically how social media platforms work some people have a lot of um have a community through a lot of community building work using other non social media tools that they have maintained a loyal community core community you just have to recognise that on social media there will always be this constant flow of audience segments they are passing through I hope that helps whatever your interest is on this subject let me know in the comments if you like some readings that is relevant to what I spoke about

Date: 2025-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7498725955561639188?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A Meaningful Life #4: Celebrate Mistakes.

no matter how broken I am I will always hold you up and I will never stop loving you mistakes teach us strength and show us that anything broken can always be put whole again through love

Date: 2025-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7498714620740291847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #400

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Date: 2025-04-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7498253227926818066?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 399: What we are searching for is right in front of us

I think I like this little life This little life

Date: 2025-04-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7497906151686720775?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 276: AI and the Australian Federal Elections.

Act as an expert in Australian federal election processes, tell me, based on data that you’ve seen on public conversations about Australian federal election processes, what are the patterns and insights that’s useful for me as an elector to know that helps me make decisions? 1, personality versus party brand. In Australia, part of the affiliation tends to outweigh individual candidate appeal for most voters, especially in the house of representatives. Most voters choose based on the party’s leadership, policies and overall direction rather than just the local candidate. The importance of the Senate. The Senate plays a crucial role as a check on government power and minor parties or independence often hold significant influence there. Your Senate vote can shape the legislative balance of power for years, so it’s vital to consider carefully. 2, leveraging preferential voting. Australia’s preferential voting system means that your second, third and further preferences can significantly impact the outcome. Properly numbering your preferences ensures your vote counts even if your top choice doesn’t win outright. 3, safe seats versus marginal seats. Most electorates are safe seats where one party has a strong consistent hold. Marginal seats receive the most political attention and resources and can decide the overall election outcome. If you’re in a safe seat, your vote can still send a powerful message, especially through your Senate choices or support for strong independence. 4, media narratives and biases. Australian media often focuses on the horse race, polling scandals and leader personalities rather than Substantive policy discussions. Biases in different media outlets can skew the narrative, so it’s crucial to seek a variety of information sources. 5, late deciding voters and last minute swings. A significant portion of voters decide in the final days, influenced by late breaking news or debates. Staying informed until the very end can help you make the best decision. 6, compulsory voting and engagement. Compulsory voting ensures high turnout but doesn’t guarantee deep engagement from all voters. This means well informed voters have a bigger impact since many others may vote based on limited information or last minute impressions. What are the risks of using AI as a tool to, in order to help us make decisions on elections? Using AI to help with election decisions can be powerful, but it comes with several risks to be mindful of. 1, bias in AI models. AI systems are trained on historical data, which might reflect existing biases in media coverage, polling and past election outcomes. This can skew the AI’s recommendations or insights. Risk, you might get advice that inadvertently reinforces existing biases or overlooks minority perspectives. 2, lack of contextual understanding. AI can process vast amounts of information, but it may miss nuanced or local factors that are important in an election. It might not fully grasp cultural, social or regional issues that influence voter sentiment. Risk, the advice might lack the local relevance needed to make a truly informed decision. 3, manipulation and misinformation. AI tools can be Targets for manipulation or could be influenced by unreliable data sources, especially if they’re not well vetted or if malicious actors feed them false information. Risk, you could end up making decisions based on manipulated or skewed data outputs. Over reliance and reduced critical thinking. Relying heavily on AI for decision making might reduce personal critical thinking and engagement with the issues. Voters might defer too much to the AI suggestions instead of forming their own nuanced opinions. Risk, this could lead to a less informed electorate overall with less personal accountability in the decision making process. 5, privacy and data security concerns. Using AI tools often involves sharing personal data or preferences, which could raise privacy concerns if not properly protected. Risk, your personal information or political leanings might be exposed or misused. In summary, while AI can offer valuable insights and help you process large amounts of information, it’s crucial to use it as a complementary tool rather than the sole basis for your decisions. Cross check AI generated advice with multiple sources, stay informed about local issues and maintain your own critical perspective to make the most informed and balanced voting decisions.

Date: 2025-04-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7497164117946535186?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 398: Birthday.

Today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Yay. Some people love birthdays. They have parties and birthday song and cake and everything. And then some people would rather just keep the whole day altogether. Then there are a lot in between. Those of us who like being appreciated but is not sure how to ask for it or how to celebrate it by ourselves. Regardless of which one of those you are, there is something universal for all of us in our birthdays. I think psychologists say that birthdays are emotional mirrors. They invite us to compare who we are now with who we thought that we would be. And whether we fill our day with parties or we spend it in silence by ourselves, the day stirs up thoughts about time and about connection and our place in the world. I think one of the most fascinating aspects of, uh, the nature of human emotions is the strange state that we go into on our birthdays. We are oddly, uh, emotional on birthdays in, in ways that, um, we can’t really explain because I think there’s tension between what our hopes are and what our memories tell us and what the reality of our life. All of that come together and it triggers all sorts of vulnerable stuffs for us. But that confusion doesn’t have to be painful, but a lot of times it’s fun to go through those, uh, all that complexity with our people that are Close to us. So today I’ve baked cupcakes, the kind that I like myself, and I’ll be sharing them with those who mean the most to me on my birthday.

Date: 2025-04-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7496863435804773653?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 275: Authenticity.

Not all ghosts live in haunted houses. Some live with us on social media. There’s a question that follows all of us online, who am I if I’m no longer haunted by all the things that drove me here, what am I if I’m not a collection of all my mistakes that I’m trying to bury? Who am I if I’m not the hero I pretend to be? If I’m not as confident as I sound or as sad or as happy as I present myself? If I don’t sing and I don’t dance and I don’t really talk like I do on my videos, then who am I? I don’t know. I’m afraid. I know that. And I’m confused. I reach out looking for those who are as afraid and as confused as I am. I hope that someone like me who is afraid and confused but still cares enough to reach out, that that is enough for the world I’m in. I hope that that is enough in the world my children will find themselves in after me. Не губсу

Date: 2025-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7496452444424277266?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 397: Technology, people and impact.

Bought this blood pressure monitor today. As you can see my blood pressure is a bit high. Over the past few months my diet and exercise have gone off the boil a bit and but with this I can now track how I change my habits and how they will affect my body and hopefully it’ll bring my health back to balance. Now what amazes me is that this kind of technology is now available in the home. The research, the design, the manufacturing and all that invisible work that went into making this small device that makes such a big difference to people like me. We don’t hear much about technology like this. They don’t have big keynote events and celebrity endorsements or slick ads at uh sports finals. Technology that works don’t ask for attention. When I look around me, I will see a lot of these amazing technologies that exist there quietly working without attention. You know, look at the amazing technology that goes into, you know, my glasses and I look around and I see the clock, the fridge, the oven, the toaster, the kitchen sink. I think about every person who’s been involved in creating technologies like this. At some stage in their work they will be faced with a choice. Do I focus on making something that will go viral and look good or do I make something that actually does some good and having a device like this on my table that are Potentially helping me save my life is a testament to the fact that many people choose to do some good instead of making flashy products. So today, I’m grateful for all those people who chose not to perform and who chose to devote their lives to the quiet pursuit of making real impact on people like me who need them.

Date: 2025-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7496127809237093650?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A meaningful life #3

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Date: 2025-04-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7495753818903285000?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 396: Joy. Nurture the sounds that make your home rich.

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Date: 2025-04-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7495286660398058759?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 274: Patience to make new friends.

Let’s talk about how to make new friends now. I’ll learn from something I saw this morning. I was at an Easter Sunday church service this morning. And during the service, someone came into the church and sat by himself in the corner. He was, he looked lonely and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. My friend Ming, who loves making friends, went to sit beside him, just sitting. But a moment later, the man got up and walked away. I’m not sure why he did that, but I can imagine that that would have been uncomfortable for me, was left there by herself. However, Ming just kept sitting there by herself, even though she had a choice to rejoin us and find comfort in our company. A few moments later, the man returned and sat back where he was with me beside him. And then slowly over the course of the hour, they spoke a little bit, but mostly just spent time sitting beside each other and the connection formed. At the end of the service, Ming invited him to join us at morning tea, and he did. And a few of us got to meet him and talk to him as well. What being demonstrated is something that all new connections need. That is patience to allow a relationship to form. These days, I have countless opportunities to connect to people. I mean, look at people on social media, people who make comments, people who have Websites or are in directories online. I can connect to as many people as I like. The opportunities to connect is no longer a problem. But with those opportunities to connect is also the unfortunate ease of walking away to look for countless other places and dream that I might find something more comfortable elsewhere. So most connections fade and disappear, never really forming. And important characteristics of new connections is understanding that there will always be situations where even though no safety concerns exist, I might feel uncomfortable with something that the other person did. They might say something that doesn’t sit well with me or they talk a bit too much or too fast or too slow, or maybe they remain silent when they. I wish that they would speak. But for connections to form, for friendships to develop, I need patience. It’s like a cake in the oven that never gets baked because I keep taking it out to check why it’s not baking. New friendships need patience and time and trust to build. And it is true, sitting patiently through those uncomfortable moments like my friend Ming did this morning, the genuine connections can form.

Date: 2025-04-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7494893102335888648?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 395: A time to wait.

It’s a Easter Saturday. I’m having a morning walk. Funny thing about Easter every year it’s always a 4 day holiday but the first two days we’re not supposed to celebrate it is um, supposed to be a quiet day just waiting and I’m going to finish my walk and then go get some groceries and get home and clean up and get ready for Easter egg hunt tomorrow. Anyway, what’s happening with uh, with you today? Anything like you share about what’s upcoming for you that you’re waiting on? Maybe something that you’re worried about or you’re unsure about? Maybe if um, if you share it and share the winning period we can support each other and the future can be a little more hopeful. Anyway and talk to you in the comments.

Date: 2025-04-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7494135150805060871?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 273: Make meaningful content for yourself.

I’ll share with you a secret on how to make it as a small social media content creator for it to bring meaning and joy to your life the secret is do it for yourself no one else ignore the armchair marketing advice about thinking about your viewers and audience and trying to bring value to your customers ignore all of that do it for yourself there are two big reasons for doing this the first reason is that the biggest risk for small content creators is that you give up the vast majority of small creators um make stuff that eventually can find an audience but they get sick of the grind and they give up before it has a chance that’s what you have to address first and foremost what is it that you want to share with the world that makes you want to do it what do you want to post that everyday when you wake up you wanna do it these when you’re busy you wanna do it these when you’re sick you wanna do it you may you may not know that from the beginning and which is another great thing about social media you can try everything and by the time you see that content appear publicly on screen you going to know yes that’s what I wanna share or no I don’t wanna share that and you don’t know that until it is here in front of you instead of being here in your head so the second reason you have to do this is that it takes time for the platform algorithm to work out what you are about and match you to the right viewers it needs a decent amount of content to do this enough data to see what are the patterns between what you put out and how the viewers respond what is in your content how do you present it when do you post what viewers engage with how do they engage when do they engage for all this it needs hundreds maybe thousands of pieces of data just to get started the data that you have to to supply so occasionally some small content creators will have something go viral and this is very rare this is and it is not repeatable because viewers and the algorithm will adjust after a viral video and it won’t happen again the next time the video comes on of the same kind but we feel it happens a lot more than it does because psychologically and mathematically that’s how viral content works everyday we see viral videos and we’re going to forget that hundreds of millions of content creators who try for long periods to do it don’t get it and they give up because of it and to tell you the truth having viral content doesn’t change anything for a small content creator when you have a viral video a lot of people within a short span of time will see will see it maybe a few hundred will stay behind in your channel for a little bit but after that viral video life is still the same viral content doesn’t change anything it is worth going through the experience though for the sake of the experience for the rush and for learning just how you respond to it but we can’t build our content creation life on it which all then goes back to what I said when you’re starting out you have focus on yourself and what drives you inside what is your identity what are you excited about sharing and exploring and the act of content creation will help you find that the example I think of is like building a lemonade stand in front of your house and at the beginning make the lemonade you wanna make and build the stand you wanna build and one day it might turn into a big beverage operation that you have to think about your customers but first you have to fall in love with making your lemonade and building your stand so when I started out I didn’t know what I wanted to share so I did everything and through a few first few hundred videos I discovered what I wanted to share is what it means to be a human being and it was a conversation with the future with my children when they grow up so as that became clearer and clearer I stopped doing the memes and the trends and the the editing and the keywords and the thumbnails and the singing and the dancing blah blah blah now all those were fun and I needed to do those when I started out and you should do those too when you start up but through those I discovered that what I what is it that I really wanted to do and as I discovered more and more about myself about being a human being and expressing myself through conversations like I’m what I’m doing now in my videos the algorithm starts to adjust and push it out to the right people and then more people start having conversations with me so these days my content creation is distilled down a lot to just thinking about my daily experiences scripting how I express it and um and most importantly are the few conversations I have coming from the videos either in the comments some of them by direct message some people I meet up and chat 1 to 1 I don’t get any value from uh production quality I only have my iphone here and the mic and I don’t have a studio I just do it wherever I am like in my house now maybe you can hear the birds and the dogs barking next door and the plane flying overhead all that is from a journey of distilling what I want to do and what works for me with the life that I lead what drives me in the end is that this video exist and the conversations around it exist is like an album for me and like um that I will look at in the future with my children and my grandchildren so making this album gives me joy and adds meaning to my life so I hope all that information helps you if you’re a new creator or if you’re thinking about content creation doing something meaningful drop me a line I hope you find that meaning in what you’re doing and I wish you all the best

Date: 2025-04-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7493856960635342088?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

A meaningful life #2
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Date: 2025-04-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7493511199036886279?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Reflection 272: Content with impact.

I’ll show you this sheet of writing that a friend of mine did it’s her interpretation of a Chinese poem about our traditional tomb sweeping festival so she passed it to me a few weeks ago during a morning tea when there were quite a few of us around a very busy table and when I read it I said it was lovely and I just put it away because we’re so busy then a few days later I came across it again in my house and this time I read it when it was quiet around me and um I had no schedules or commitments and I can devote my time to processing what was actually written I then understood that um it was about death and how we honour people who passed away and it made me think of my dad and my family members who have died and how I preserve their memories and I talked to my friend about what she wrote and that conversation made me reminisce even more about my people that I know and my future about what legacy I leave for my children and my family to come after me and the more they lingered the more it changed the way I felt about my past and my decisions about my future so what came out of this sheet was substantial It had a lot of impact on me now four weeks later since I first encountered it who made me think about the the variety of internet content I encounter everyday the videos and photos and the comments that I read all of them are going by me and passing by me very briefly you know like this uh sheet of paper and most of the time because of how fast the content will pass I don’t have the space or uh the emotional state to process uh what I just saw and the ones that really matter and have an impact I have to intentionally go back and view again to experience it with time and emotional space to process it to work on it and have conversations with people about it um and to let it sink in then it becomes a part of me so otherwise it’s just another flash in front of my eyes that is forgotten by the time I scroll on to the next piece of content

Date: 2025-04-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7492729074347969810?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A meaningful life#1
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Date: 2025-04-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7492373237767195922?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 394: Ordinary Moments.

Today I had a family reading time and the boys had a pillow fight. They were the highlights of today. We also had some difficult moments that we had to talk through and make some changes. But my gratitude today is neither on those highs or the lows. It is in the normal things that keeps life going, the things that we rely on, like the meals and the phone calls to the grandma and sorting through clothes for next term. Things like fun activities and pillow fights and difficult conversations, all those come out of the quiet, ordinary moments. They are the foundations of a happy life. And at the end of each day, I reflect and appreciate those ordinary moments.

Date: 2025-04-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7491688154617957650?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 393: The stories we tell.

This morning I was reading a children’s book with my boys. It’s a simple bedtime story that they’ve known since they were babies. They’re way past the reading level for this now, but we still choose to read stories like this because it gives us space to explore different things with reading, especially with the expression. And, uh, we would record each other reading in different styles and, uh, we make each other laugh. Today, my younger son said something to me. He said that, uh, words make pictures in his imagination. And sometimes when books have pictures of their own like this one, it’s actually not as fun. It warms my heart very deeply to know that, how he appreciates that words are magical on their own and they can build worlds in our heads. It is a type of magic that I wish every kid have a chance to experience. But having said that, being someone who have loved, uh, reading comic books since I was little, I know that some stories need pictures. Example, this one is, uh, in my collection is from, uh, Daredevil. It’s a Daredevil comic book from, uh, July 1985. It’s 40 years ago. I remember it very well because that year I retold the story that is in this comic book in a, in an English assignment and it got selected to be put into the school magazine that year. And that got me a lot of attention. And, um, and I made Many friends, uh, with others in the school who like to talk about stories as much as I do. So even today, 40 years later, I can still remember all the conversations around that, um, that story that I’ve written for the school magazine. So storytelling is a big part of my life. Every night I come here and I’m telling you through my videos a story one way or another. But tonight’s video is about stories that cannot be told through video or through pictures or through words. They are the most important stories in our lives. They are the stories of our relationships. My son and I, my sons and I, we added to our relationship and our story this morning from the attention that we pay to each other. When they were reading and they were reading with excitement, I sat up and I was absorbed by what they were doing. And when I did my reading and I, uh, pause deliberately for effect, I can see in their eyes that they were caught up by, uh, with what I was doing. Our stories is, is completed by these moments where we give each other full, undivided attention and they become a part of a story that, uh, we will cherish for the rest of our lives. So everyday I come here and through my videos, I ask for a moment of your attention. And every second that you give me, I want you to know that I deeply appreciate it. But really, I am not the one that needs your attention the most right now. Your story is never going to be written with me in it. It’s never going to be written by how many of my videos you watched. But there are people close to you in your lives that are part of your story. And those stories can only be completed if you pay attention to them. So as much as I appreciate this moment that we have together and for the trust and the privilege that you give me just by giving me your attention, I hope you use that same attention, give the same trust and privilege to the ones close to you, and together you complete the story of your relationship that you were meant to complete.

Date: 2025-04-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7491303013739466002?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 271: Linger.

one thing I noticed about social media content is that I’ve never seen anyone make a comment and then 3 months later come back to the same content and make a different comment what does that say about our content is there nothing worth our attention for three months is there no content worth for us to ponder and to review and to rethink or do we ever sit on something or let it linger and for it to resurface with new ideas later on I think until we start making content that can hold someone’s attention for three months or we start viewing content going back and reviewing them can we really say that we are creating and looking at anything meaningful Is clicking on like once the point of it all Is getting like once the point of it all

Date: 2025-04-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7491293100942347538?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=752309345488942030
#stitch with @chelsiandaimee What I wish I knew before getting married.

I’ll do a divorce dad version I wish I knew that marriage is not a solution to being alone if I choose to spend my days in a dark corner by myself before marriage then after marriage I’ll end up deciding to spend my days in a dark corner by myself nothing in the wedding vows fixes that what marriage can be is a light that sits outside of the dark corner that we can choose to step into but many people spend their days in the dark corner looking out and never being able to step out and many others spend their days in the light looking into the dark corner hoping and crying that someone will step out the question for us is which one are we the one in the light or the one in the dark corner

Date: 2025-04-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7490523112736328980?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 270: Why we built the Internet.

have you ever had the thought that this is not why we built the internet everyday that I’m here I build another small piece but what is this internet that we all contributing to what I see as a user is that I’m overwhelmed with spam and distractions and there is endless notifications and demands for my attention managing privacy is a nightmare with all the endless authentication and verifications there is some misinformation everywhere and with 5 billion people that I share this space with I’m still alone so as a content creator I’m trapped in chasing viral trends it’s pressure to monetize it’s exhausting to constantly be responding to demand post there’s a very little influence over algorithms and platforms who control my visibility as a parent it is a constant battle to fight screen time I worry about what harmful contents my kids are exposed to on the internet or scams or bullying that my face and what advertising they might see I have to find solutions to all that on my own despite every parent apparently having the same problems that I have I see the children themselves they are constantly pressured to do comparisons and conform to unrealistic expectations the overloaded the confused the stress and they just pushing on because every other child is doing it this can’t be why we build the internet so as a former programmer and researcher and I see the tech products that we built are being used to prioritize revenues uh over genuinely improving people’s lives we build them but we don’t deal with the impact of them and I’m frustrated by the public backlash against technologies that were meant to be for good and there’s someone with some expertise uh that took years to accumulate and to build up the internet is now full of pseudo experts and pseudo science that drowns out the credibility of people with actual real abilities and I’m exhausted from all the misinterpretation and misquotes and the pressure to entertain rather than to educate or to inform or to explore things accurately in in a deep way and as a business owner the opportunities on the internet are limited and they controlled by a powerful few we can’t innovate we don’t have access to markets we can’t build genuine relationships with customers and the pressure is always to have short term viral moments over building long term loyalty or long term stability and even the successful tech entrepreneur entrepreneurs some of which are billionaires now they and they have transformed the world but most of them are isolated they’re wildly hated for problems they seem to not be able to fix and they’re just as much prisoners as anyone else of their own products and they’re trapped in these big mansions that they built this is really why we build the internet I’m sure it’s not none of us want this the internet wasn’t built for any of this um from the 1960s um rising out of the U s department of defence and to be an academic and research network from TCP IP to the World Wide Web and then to social networks and then social media it was meant to be resilient and open and democratic the engineers built it to be reliable and to interoperate and to open possibilities and researchers built it for collaborations and for sharing and public policy made it transparent and for the public entrepreneurs unlock possibilities and opportunities to empower people globally through the internet I see uh was built to link us and to have genuine relationships and to build trust and to have um meaningful connections and to give us something stable that we can count on in the interconnective world and everyday I see people like you and I we add more pieces to this thing that we built and I remain optimistic that the number people with uh good intentions and willing to build a better internet far outnumber the ones who do not want to do that but it requires for me to let go of what I want or to criticize you for what you want so that we can talk about the internet that we want together

Date: 2025-04-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7490114241245089044?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 269: Legion.

It’s a bright day out with friends and we just had lunch after a vocal recital at church this morning and it’s a beautiful day. There’s a lot of things that made me smile today. At the same time, I also have, uh, two people, uh, very close to me who are undergoing critical surgery. 1 I’m waiting on with a lot of anxiety about, uh, for news as to what happened and another one who’s going to surgery in the coming week. And I feel, uh, down because of this. One mindset I work a lot on to cultivate is one where I can sit with both sadness and joy at the same time because the temptation for me is to shut down myself from smiling and laughing because people I care about are suffering. It’s like paying homage to their pain by showing that I too am in pain. And that is not good. And I also feel the reverse, the temptation to hide that part of me that is in pain from others while happy just to avoid dragging them down. And that is not good either. The balanced mindset I work on is to, is not to dampen either side and to live with both sides at their fullest. I’m a legion of many sides and I’m whole only when I can sit with all of me all at the same time.

Date: 2025-04-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7489745694522133780?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 392: Pain and Joy.

to be human is to face emotional pain but a common misconception is that we must suppress or eliminate this pain to have joy true joy is not from the absence of pain but from our resilience in facing it have you ever been in the middle of a tough physical workout when you’re drenched with sweat and you can’t catch your breath and all your muscles are telling you to stop but you don’t stop because in the middle of all of that you can feel the euphoria from continuing to push through what you’re facing and that sense of achievement that comes from it that is what it’s like to navigate well through emotional pain when we openly admit that we are suffering we share the struggles with others and we move forward with our pain when celebrating each step we get to take we discover joy gratitude is the practice that takes us to this profound joy to take us with our pain to cherish it as a part of being alive

Date: 2025-04-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7489666642331323669?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Be clear what you want AI to be !
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Date: 2025-04-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7489337384409107720?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 267: The Essence of Childhood.

I listened to an interview on YouTube this morning, uh, between Ezra Klein of The New York Times and the researcher Jonathan Hae and they were discussing childhood and parenting and the impact of our technology. So they raise some important points. Um, but I wanna talk about something more general, um, that I’ve noticed not just in this interview but in conversations in general about, uh, childhood. The conversations usually leave me as a parent, uh, feeling uninspired about the possibilities for my children. Um, the conversations usually paint a picture that, um, childhood is about being protected from harm and parenting is essentially defensive, is about stopping bad things from happening. And it leaves me wondering, uh, what is beautiful and meaningful about childhood and why do these discussions so rarely inspire me to embrace parenting? I explain what I mean with something that happened this morning with my kids. We were getting ready to leave for school and since we had some time, the kids were on their ipads, uh, playing Minecraft. When it got to 8:00am, I said it’s time close down and go put your shoes on. So they said okay. And so I went upstairs to get my stuff and when I came down a minute later, they were still playing. So I said again, it’s time to go. And my eldest son said, you said that already. Now the same thing happened two weeks ago and I didn’t handle it very well then. And So we ended up having a stressful morning trying to get out the door. So what I discovered two weeks ago during that episode was that when I say it’s time, what I mean is different to what they hear. To me, it means stop right now. But to them it meant, uh, finish off your building and then stop. So remembering that this time I asked how much time do you need to finish? And they said two minutes. And I said, okay, we’re leaving in 8:00. At 8:05, they finish and we all left happily at 8:05. So moments like that happens a lot. And I can hear many parents talk about experiences like that. And there’s plenty of advice on how to handle this practically, you know, what to say, how to act. The conversation is almost always about how to handle a bad situation. But is that it? You know what really happened this morning? So I’ll tell you what I experienced. So this morning I sat down with my kids to share what they were building in Minecraft. You know, we laughed and they told me about the, a new world that they just landed into. And when it was time to go to school, I, I was reminded that my kids now think differently from me, that they’re growing into their own people and they have their own priorities, uh, than mine. So they wanted to finish building what they started. And so I Stood back and I gave them some space and I watched them and uh I asked them what they wanted to do and I could hear in their voice that there’s an appreciation that I trust them and they returned that trust and they got themselves ready to leave. We also remember the difficult experience we had two weeks ago and we shared as to how um how we grew and from having difficulties and moving forward from those difficulties. To me, that’s what really happened between the children and I. The management of the screen is just incidental to me. The essence of childhood is the same as the essence of parenting. It is about love and trust and appreciation. It’s about growing. It’s about sharing. It’s about connecting. But we’re not comfortable talking about those things. We want to talk about transactions like screen time rules and schedules and strategies and all that robs us from sitting with the essence of our experience and to be able to answer the question, why are we even doing what we’re doing? So in in this interview I heard this morning, they spoke about the risk that in the future kids might grow up preferring AI companions because AI will bend to their every every whim and that that’s funny to me but I think the primary risk isn’t the children. I think the main risk lies with a generation of potential parents, especially in the first world who choose to Have a I children instead of real children simply because we can’t articulate, you know, compelling reason why they should be real parents at all.

Date: 2025-04-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7488650144812993812?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 391: My receding hairline

my hairline’s receding I started noticing it in my photos that there are many showing this thinning patch at the front here it’s okay if I comb it back and cover it like this or if I tilt my head to the camera but there’ll be less and less of this bit here as time pass and I’ll just be left with the hairline in the back I’m not going to enjoy watching it thin out and as a guy it sort of stirs up all sorts of nasty stuff like um image and ego and shame and embarrassment the question is that why am I posting a video on social media about it and potentially embarrassing myself even more well it’s because as difficult as it is to deal with it’s a lot easier dealing with it when it is sitting openly in front of me in the camera here and I can share the embarrassing with people who cares about me than for it to be sitting inside silently festering I can’t do much about the hair but the hair can’t kill me it’s actually the demons inside that kills me so I hope I’m not wrong I’m counting on you to be kind tell me what you think in the comments

Date: 2025-04-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7488259528308411665?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 266: Fight.

You know, one thing about being young in 2025 is that you’re taught how to fight. Fight to get good grades, fight for a good job, fight for your mental health, fight for love, for climate change, for social justice, for freedom, fight for a better world, fight to be seen and heard, fight to show your authentic self. The world appears to be a gladiator arena and you’re handed a weapon and you’re told if you don’t fight for it, you won’t get it. That’s just how it is. That’s how the world works. No, that’s not how the world is. It’s certainly not how it has to be. And it’s not the world I know it gets very tiring when you have to fight all the time. It’s not your fault or your weakness that you’re tired and overwhelmed most of the time. That weight that’s on your shoulders is not meant for you to carry on your own. And when you’re tired, you cannot fight your way out of exhaustion. You cannot fight your way to healing and you cannot fight your way into well being. But you do have to step out into a different way. I’m not young anymore like you, but I am fighting for one thing, for a world where my children don’t have to fight all the time. And what does that world look like? It is where trust is normal and we’re allowed to rest. There’s a lightness to how we Handle things, even difficult things. So when we laugh when things go wrong and we can get 100 things done because we’re not weighed down by the struggle, for one thing, it’s where we can sit and listen to someone and hear what they say without feeling like we need to change that person. And I think you know that world because you’ve seen it, even if for very brief moments. And that’s why you can imagine it when I describe it. Maybe for the next few moments, we can live in that world just for a few moments. Before you leave, trust me, with the world that you aspire to be in. Tell me the world you see. And maybe if you then read about all the other worlds that other people write about, you will find that yours isn’t that different from everyone else’s.

Date: 2025-03-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7487877794647559440?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 390: Mistakes and the joy of reading.

today I’m grateful for a bit of perspective about reading and performing and the pressure of sometimes over performing online I created a new channel on my YouTube account couple of weeks ago uh it is to share the joys of reading where I would be able to post uh recordings of me reading aloud uh favourite books like these ones that my boys and I shared since they were very little since they were babies we always love reading and we get a lot of joy out of reading aloud because we can experiment and explore different ways of expressing the material it is meant to be fun and when we record our reading theirs will stay private because they’re very little but mine will go online to share mainly with family and friends that’s what I’m hoping for with this channel so over the weekend we read this Guess how much I love you by Sam McBratney a very famous children’s book so we recorded a few different versions of reading it and in each one we had mistakes just normal reading mistakes like um I catch my breath a lot or I misread some bits and then I go over it again and so on after we recorded it um it was time for me to post one of my versions on the YouTube channel and I took a few minutes to edit out the mistakes and then I posted it but my young son who saw me do that then asked why I was editing it so before he asked that I didn’t even think about it and I just did it because for most of my content online which I have a lot of I don’t I do think very carefully about the message that I’m conveying and I edit the content so that the message is better delivered and for highly produced stuff like my student podcast I even have a producer and a team that does it but in this case this is about the joy of reading and the joy of reading involves mistakes some time ago my children learn from their school this phrase humans are mistake makers and we’ve always emphasized that in this house and we celebrate that in this house so we include that in our our reading so when we were doing our reading we talked and we laughed about our own mistakes and then we learn from it of course so the but the few minutes that I talked to go and edit out mistake before sharing the recording seems to go against that it was telling them that something is wrong with those mistakes something that I need to hide from the rest of the world and it is uh fueling this uh very strong temptation that um that is online where we need to perform everything that we share all the time so the next book that uh we going to read is um Green Eggs and Ham by Doctor Seuss but before we do that I think the boys and I should have a conversation about reading and mistakes and what is performance and what is not performance and what mistakes stay private and what mistakes is part of our experience and our enjoyment and that we should share so you can help by sharing your perspective do you like reading or open reading what is appropriate and what is not appropriate good in family with friends and with the public let me know

Date: 2025-03-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7487566638611533077?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#CommonHumanity

Our thoughts set us apart. Our feelings bring us together. Use your uniqueness and make a life for yourself. But remember, in the end, your heart beats and breaks just like everyone else’s. Embrace our common humanity.

Date: 2025-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7487232185431248148?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 265: Common Grounds for All Human Beings.

What are the common grounds for all human beings? This is the question that I wonder about today. I ask Chat G P t to come up with a comprehensive list of topics that divide people around the world. I’m showing you on screen now what it came up with and I’ll include them in this video’s text description. It’s a pretty big list covering major topics like politics and identity and race and religion to smaller topics like dress code and witchcraft and tattoos. The question I keep returning to though is this. If we set aside all these divisive topics, is there anything meaningful left for two people to talk about? If we are divided on these issues, is there nothing else? To me, the practical reality is that we must touch on a lot of these topics when we interact because they relate to basic choices we make in life from the food that we eat to the places that we live and the people that we spend time with. They are tied to how we are organised. But my question isn’t whether we can and cannot talk about these topics, it is whether they are all there is to us. Outside of these topics, do we have anything else that can hold us together? This is important for me as a parent. One day my children may grow up in a whole beliefs that are entirely different from mine. They may have perspectives that I can’t Even imagine right now, I want to support them to be able to make their own choices. And that being the case, what potentially will still hold us together? What do we talk about at the dinner table? What are our common grounds? That question keeps me up at night. Is there a common ground strong enough to hold us together no matter how far apart our choices become, I have to believe there is. The core of my existence, the whole reason I’m here, is to believe that there are common grounds in all human beings. Between me and you, whom I know nothing about, I can’t believe that you and I have to strip away all the things that divide us until there’s nothing left. I believe that when you and I move beyond all that divides us, we find common ground. I believe you and I have fundamental things in common, like our need to belong, our desire for acceptance, like our longing for purpose and meaning. Like the joy we find in beauty and in laughter. Like our fear of suffering and loss. Like our pain in rejection, our search for answers when we have confusing times, and in our urge to protect our children. These items are not all comfortable for us to face. Many of them are actually quite difficult to face. But they are common grounds because they lead us to turn and face each other as opposed to divisive issues that push Us to turn our backs to each other. I don’t know if I’m right, but every day when I look towards what I have in common with other people, my life gets better every time when my children grow and make their independent choices, our common grounds bind us even when the choices are different. Because of that, I keep going. And I don’t believe I can give up. And I don’t believe you can give up or that you want to give up on what you share with other people. For all the pain and the frustration and the many times you might have said to yourself, I had enough, I don’t care anymore, the fact is that you do care. You care enough to listen to this for 4 minutes. You care enough to be hurt when people are divided. I hope you give yourself a chance to keep turning up and to keep going for a chance to see for yourself that some parts of the grounds that you stand on, you share in common with many other people.

Date: 2025-03-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7486348606719446293?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 389: Choosing Kindness.

I choose to be kind not because of what others deserve, but because of who I want to be. I do not walk in other people shoes, and I cannot judge what they are worth and what they deserve. I can only decide on my own worth. And I am worthy of kindness. I choose to be kind to others and to myself.

Date: 2025-03-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7486061275726925063?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 264: AI, humour and human communications.

Date: 2025-03-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7485400367505706261?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 388: Childhood

VIDEO IMAGE

Date: 2025-03-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7484596113782148368?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 263: Storytelling and Education.

Last night I saw this meme. It was a joke that plays on English and Chinese language. For the sake of this video, the joke isn’t important, but I thought it was funny and I laughed. Someone who did not know the language enough to get the joke posted this to indicate some confusion and seeing if anyone else felt the same. My first thought was to try and explain the joke, but then I thought, can AI explain the joke better than I can? AI isn’t very good with coming up with new jokes if you ever tried it, but can it explain a joke? So I fired up Chat GBT and I asked it to explain and it did. It explained it in quite a lot of details as you can see. As I was reading the explanation, I thought it was rather unusual because I’ve never seen a human being explain a joke like this. So where did ChatGPT learn it from? So I asked it where it Learned to explain a joke like that. So it turns out, and this is something new to me, humans do explain jokes a lot when a joke fails or falls flat or for cultural learning or when they are doing professional analysis of comedy. There are even subreddits that devoted to explaining jokes. That’s where chat GBT learn the pans from as to how to explain jokes. And then it said something interesting. It said, explaining a joke Usually kills the humour, which made me think then why did it explain the joke to me? What role was it playing when it came up with the explanation? And so he told me that he was playing the role of a translator teacher. And he fell into that role because he saw in my words some assumptions he can make about me, that I am multilingual, that I want clarity instead of comedy or else I wouldn’t have asked. That I enjoy meta cognition and I value intention because I ask about why, which I do a lot. Now these assumptions LED it to adopt this translator teacher role. I then asked it what other roles it could have adopted. It showed me these other responses it could have given if it had other roles. For instance, as a comedian, it could have riffed off the original joke. Or as a philosopher, it could have reflected on the nature of language. Or as a cultural guide, it could have told me something about Chinese. Or as an analyst, it could have accepted the joke as data or as a friend, it could have focused on how the joke made me feel or as a rebel, it could have given us a snarky response. Isn’t it interesting the many ways it could have responded? I’m sharing this with you because all this is allowing me to reflect and think about human communications and how to be better at it whenever I’m communicating with someone, I am making assumptions about the other person and I adopt a suitable role based on the assumptions. The other person is also making assumptions about me and adopting suitable role as a result of it. Sometimes when communications is not going well, it would serve me to review my assumptions about the other person and perhaps adopt a different role that can improve the communication. Or maybe the other person wants something else. Maybe they want a listener or they could want a mentor or could be an advisor or an encourager or a problem solver or even just someone to acknowledge the feelings without making any judgments. So all of these roles come from different assumptions and it makes the conversation go in a different direction. It also probably would serve me to give the other person a break if they don’t communicate as I expected because they may have the wrong assumptions and they too are learning to adopt a more suitable role. And most of all, what it made me think of is that if I’m not aware of my assumptions about other people and I blindly adopt only one role to talk exactly the same way about exactly the same things to everyone all the time, then I’m probably not a very good communicator. So the question for you is, what assumptions did you make in the last conversations you had and what role did you adopt? Share it with me.

Date: 2025-03-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7484270054494850324?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Steven Bartlett I reflect on the structural inequities of risk taking. Reflection 262: A Room with 100 Risk Takers.

if you’re in a room of 100 risk takers all equally capable team members all taking risk in a project who will you listen to? all hundred are told that success is just on the other side of failure that every failure is a move forward that the world belongs to the bold 90 of them will fail not because they weren’t good enough and not because they didn’t work hard enough it is because risk is unforgiving in a system that doesn’t catch people who fall these 90 will lose confidence lose relationships lose years of their lives in a system that sets them up to fail years they’ll never get back again another nine in the team will be okay they’ll survive they get somewhere maybe even find some stability again but they’ll carry the scars of the pressures they took and they’ll learn to be quieter about risk next time one will make it that is the one everyone believes is the success story that is the one we put on the billboard glorified for all ages to come and for the hundred people who took the risk the structure of the game was designed by the one someone who will win regardless of what happens someone who didn’t bet their future someone who has a foot in everyone else’s failure one who watch and wait and pick the winner after the rest has fallen on the wayside because behind every culture that over glorifies risk there is someone who profits when others take the risk someone who owns it all who takes the least risk and gets all the benefits one who sits in a cozy room telling people how important it is to take risk in my household I teach my children to take risk to be bold to learn from experimentation and in my household I also teach my children to watch out for the one who always tells them that they have to take the risk while waiting in the wings to profit from the risk they take

Date: 2025-03-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7483744970227059975?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 387. When you need a swim coach and when do you need a life guard?

You know the saying that when someone is drowning, it’s not the time to teach them to swim. I know one of the problems we have in our lives is that we have too many swim coaches and not enough lifeguards. Most times when I’m drowning and I really need a lifeguard, I’m silly enough to go look for a swim coach instead.

Date: 2025-03-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7483418515362286866?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 386: Shoe Rack.

One thing I’m always grateful for are the unchanging things that anchor my life. This is my shoe rack that I sit on to put on my shoes when I leave the house everyday and to take off my shoes when I come home everyday. It sits right in front of my corridor to my garage. And it’s been at this same location for as far as I can remember, throughout many house moves. It has seen my family life change through the years. That is reflected in our footwear and has been the anchor at the start and end of our days. Life brings us a lot of changes. If we don’t take some time to cherish those things that are stable, we might find ourselves one day looking back and thinking, what was my life about today? I’m glad my shoe rack has been with me for all these years.

Date: 2025-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7483124090237209877?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 261: Ten prompts for AI

Here are 10 prompts that AI can’t respond meaningfully to because it requires you to be human, not just mimic one. Have you ever missed who you used to be? Tell me about the time you were lost. How quiet is too quiet? Remember when your father first saw the man you’d become? When did you realize she was the one? When will you finally forgive yourself? I’m here. What do you need? It’s nice to see you smile. Yeah, I know. It’s amazing how it takes our breath away. Let it go.

Date: 2025-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7482792881569287425?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 260: Why Ask Questions? Some questions are asked for more than just getting answers.

Why do we ask questions? I think sometimes we make the mistake of believing that all questions are meant to get answers. Sometimes we ask questions just to hear ourselves ask the questions to check if the questions are worth asking. Sometimes we ask questions to test who will answer them and how they will answer them so that we can tell who are the ones we can trust to ask questions with. So who do you feel safe asking questions with?

Date: 2025-03-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7482790362663210260?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 385: Emotional capacity for critical thinking. It takes more than intelligence to be a critical thinker.

I’ll share with you this paradox I noticed about critical thinking, which is the more intelligent we are, we seem to be less critical in our thinking. On the surface, intelligence is supposed to enhance our capacity for reason and clarity and for thoughtful judgment. But as I look back at all the people I believe are really critical thinkers, I find they don’t go hand in hand with having the highest cognitive intelligence. Usually the high intelligence people I come across are so caught up with their own line of thought or their body of work or their legacy that they are the worst ones to critically evaluate what they are doing. When we are intelligent enough, we can argue anything just by filling our thoughts with assumptions. who I find are the best critical thinkers are the ones with characteristics like humility or openness to being vulnerable and looking stupid when they are wrong. These are more emotional qualities than cognitive abilities. So today I’m grateful for people with the emotional capacity to be critical thinkers.

Date: 2025-03-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7481308704395021569?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 259: The Emotional Ripples of Mistakes. Learning from both the logical and the emotional experience.

Today I made a mistake. It was a phone call I was supposed to make to book an event venue. It turned out it needed to have been done yesterday, not today. As someone who welcomes the opportunity to learn from mistakes, I went through the usual steps of reviewing what happened, to take ownership of it, to analyse what could have been different, to find a remedy, to make the corrections, to adjust for the future. It’s a very structured and logical process. But mistakes are never just logical because while my mind worked through the very structured response process, my emotions lash onto something else. I made a call to the person who was relying on me to have done it. And when I told her I made mistake, I remembered the response on the phone was just the expression, oh, and then followed by a silence that seemed a bit long. That is the moment out of the whole day that sticks in my mind is my emotions telling me, you made a mistake and affected someone. You let somebody down. That is part of the mistake making experience. Sometimes when we try to embrace mistakes as a healthy learning process, we treat mistakes like puzzles. Analysing them and tweaking our systems and ensuring they don’t happen again. That as a skill is useful and necessary. But if we only engage with mistakes intellectually, if we don’t allow space to acknowledge how they feel, we’re not really Processing them, we’re just troubleshooting and pretending that we are like machines, but we are not machines. We are humans. And mistakes don’t just create logical problems, they stir emotions, emotions we have to deal with, with more than just our rational mind. So as I sit here and I process that moment and I feel the disappointment, the regrets, some guilt, embarrassment, the bit of shame, I remind myself that growth is not just getting better at avoiding mistakes. It’s also about getting better at holding space for them and feeling them and learning from both the logical and the emotional experience. I might give myself some time for this, to sit and to work myself through, because only when I do that, I can move on, and not just as a more competent person, but perhaps a kinder one to others and to myself.

Date: 2025-03-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7480802167532686599?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 384: Ice cream

Overlay text on video

Date: 2025-03-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7480544572397980936?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 258: A Story at the Cinema.

I was at the cinema with some friends this evening. It was a makeup for last weekend when plans were shoved because of the cyclone. We saw Captain America, Brave New World. When we were at the theatre, there was a large family sitting near us with I think about 45 kids and a few adults. I didn’t count exactly because it was dark. But the kids were pretty restless and they were moving around and talking and they didn’t stop even when the movie started and that was pretty annoying. It was okay during the action scenes but uh, when there’s dialogue and I’m trying to follow what was happening, I, it got very frustrating. So some people in the theatre gave them the signal to shush, but that only quieted them down for a brief moment and then they started up again. And I thought about the parents. If they can’t manage the children, then please don’t come to the theatre. And I also got annoyed because I hadn’t seen a movie in the big screen for quite a few months and I don’t get to sit back and enjoy this one. I was thinking of calling the cinema staff, but I decided against it. So I just sat and stewed for a while. Then at one point I looked back a few seats away and I saw what looked like the mother of the family and sitting on her was one of her kids and the kid Had her, showed her head on the mother’s shoulder and was sleeping. And on the mother’s face was complete exhaustion. And she was leaning back and resting too, while the other three or four kids were climbing over each other. So I don’t know this family. I don’t know the situation. But my guess is that this trip to this, the movie was a relief for them. Maybe they’ve been stuck in the house for, because of the cyclone for 45 days and this was the family time outside. I remember thinking it’s not easy for a large family to find activities together, especially with many kids. So any activity with them all getting along is a win for a family like this. I remember thinking that and I remember I stopped being annoyed. I thought, the thought that went through my head was that, uh, they were, they weren’t that noisy after all. And it was just a few shuffles here and there and no more than if I was at home watching the movie and my family was moving around. So I remember I enjoyed the movie, the rest of that movie after that. I’m reflecting on this experience with you because I want to share with you what I gain from a little bit of compassion, a little bit of understanding in thinking about someone else. My change in perspective didn’t change that family, but it changed me. I gave myself permission to lift this burden off My shoulder of being annoyed and then feeling that it’s not right and feeling that it’s not fair and mulling through the many ways that I need to punish them or control them, to let go of all of that so I can sit back and just enjoy being in the movie theatre with my friends and with other people that are dealing with the same imperfect world as I am. So next time when I find myself not enjoying a movie I’m watching, maybe I need to check not the story that’s being shown on the screen, but the story that’s being played in my head. Maybe I need to go sit next to a parent with a child sleeping on her shoulder.

Date: 2025-03-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7480133656640539921?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 78: About Intellect

I was listening to a panel of scientists and philosophers earlier this afternoon, and they were talking about some really deep stuff about morals and society and civilization. And as a former academic myself who started my career as a scholar, I sometimes envy the life they have, being able to live a life of an intellectual, to be able to dive deeply into thought and be able to share knowledge and be respected for it. When I feel like that, though, a lot of times my mind drift back to a person by the name of Peter that I used to know. I knew him when I was managing an HK facility. Now, Peter was a care worker. And Peter, you wouldn’t mistake him for being an intellectual. We gave him a chance to move up in management and try to get him to do some office work, but he was a mess with budgets and quality control and marketing, all the stuff that you need to do for management. So we just let him be the care worker he wants to be. And he was good at that. What Peter can do is be able to light up the face of an elderly resident at our facility. He could walk with them and have their trust and keep them relaxed and comfortable and happy. One thing I respected most about Peter was that when he’s, when he was placed under intense pressure from workload and schedule and demands, That that type of pressure that usually makes people cut corners and drop their quality of work just to get the jobs done, he invariably managed to get jobs done that is best for the elderly person. And when I first started knowing Peter, I thought he was just lucky and he can’t keep up side stepping all those intense demands and still keep his work quality up. But over the years, I learnt that he’s intelligent in ways that I didn’t understand. He’s intelligent about compassion and about kindness, about trust, about connection. I can imagine the smartest Nobel Prize winning scientist in the world being trained for a lifetime to do what Peter does and still won’t be able to do it. Peter is intelligent in ways beyond me. And as I see more and more people like Peter, I’ve come to see intelligence in so many places where I see things like courage and persistence and intelligence in human values that’s everywhere. I come to see intelligence in nurses I work with, in teachers, in loving parents, in a laughing child, in policemen and janitors and construction workers and the lady who holds up the stop sign outside my kid’s school. I saw myself being second fiddle to all these geniuses, Salieri to their mosaic. And I’m happy to be second fiddle just to be able to observe and be grateful that I can see them. Sometimes when I’m interviewing students and I listen to them talk. About their lives. I say, wow, if only they can hear how amazing they are. If only they can see what I see. It’s a blessing for me that I can get my daily fix of happiness just by watching people be their amazing selves. I wish you can have that joy, too. Maybe you can try to have a look around you and see the intelligence in people that you never saw before. Maybe you can look inside yourself and see how amazing you really are. See the intelligence no one has yet bothered to look maybe. I hope so. And I hope you share what you see.

Date: 2025-03-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7479735041828932884?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 383: Stepping Stones.

I would like to share with you a perspective on dreams and happiness. When I was young, I used to dream of all different paths that I can take to a dream life. I thought that achieving my dreams would make me happy, whether it’s a career or a dream house or recognition, wealth and so on and so forth. Some of those I achieved and some I didn’t. But regardless, happiness never came, not even when I achieve my dreams. Because whenever I achieve one, it just becomes the starting point of the next dream. Then I realise that happiness is not in the dream, it is in the journey, the stepping stones. Dreams are important. They give me purpose and drive. They anchor my life and they push me forward. But happiness isn’t in the future that I dream of. I find it in the present, the here, the now. I dream of giving my children an amazing future, but today my happiness is just washing their bed sheets. I have a dream of creating a community centre for the underprivileged. But today my happiness is just offering someone in need 20 minutes of shelter from the rain we’re having. I have many dreams, but right now I’m happy just making a video. Happiness is in the gratitude from moment to moment, every step that we make, every piece of work, and the attention that we give to ourselves for being present. And that to me is what Dreams are made of.

Date: 2025-03-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7479292745694203137?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 257: Design Your Life (Book Review)

This is a book review. One thing I do a lot of in this channel is talk about day to day routines that help me find a happy life and when it comes to books that help me do this I find books in two general categories. The majority of books is in the first category which are ones that help me think and understand uh concepts, the things about life and happiness then the other category are books that help me do things and give me practical tips and guides so the things that the authors and the research have found to work for some people or a lot of people. What I find frustrating is uh having books in these two categories, what am I supposed to do with them? What I mean is that uh once I have some understanding of life and happiness, how do I decide which one of the many practical steps that I can take, which ones I should take? So in this channel I try to walk alongside you day by day and I ask you to walk alongside me day by day so that we can work that out. So the past couple of days having some time to read I read this book called Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans and that that seems to be very relevant. I read the Kindle version so I found this book useful in bridging that gap between understanding and action. Uh, what it offers to me is a framework that sits on top that takes the ideas of happiness and fulfillment and purpose and turn them into something that I can uniquely do in, in my life. So the authors came from the world of design thinking. So they describe creative problem solving and innovation in business and technology and engineering. And it then leads them to the idea which is wanna apply these design principles to life. So instead of waiting for the perfect plan or agonising over big life decisions, they outline a way where you prototype different possibilities, trying things out, gathering feedback and then adjusting as, as we go. One of the book’s most powerful messages is that there isn’t just one perfect path for us, that there are many. And rather than getting stuck trying to predict the right future, we can design small experiments and to test those different paths. So for example, if we want to change careers, instead of uh, quitting our jobs overnight, we can start by talking to people in the field that we’re curious about and maybe shadow somebody or take a course or do a side project. So the key is doing design iterations, taking a small step, learning from them and then adapting. The book has a lot of exercises, like mapping out daily energy levels to see what actually energizes us or writing out different versions of what our lives would look like in five Years. So this book doesn’t assume that, uh, life follows a straight line. So it embraces uncertainty and the idea that our interests and priorities evolve is, uh, no right answer. It is trying to live it and do it and designing a life that works for us. So I recommend this book. I have no commercial relationship with this book or, or to the author and publisher. This is my independent view after reading it. So I hope you will start designing your life, uh, the one you want. Uh, because a good life isn’t something that you find. It’s something you build.

Date: 2025-03-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7478972951669263636?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Hang out with me if you don’t want to be alone for Tropical Cyclone Alfred.

This is for people in Queensland and New South Wales who are feeling a bit isolated being stuck inside because of a tropical cyclone. Alfred. You don’t have to be alone. If you want to hang out with me and others, join me on this Discord Channel link on the screen or in the video description below. I’m not doing anything exciting or entertaining, but, um, if you feel like, um, you need a quick chat to process the stress or to share what’s happening with you or just to sit and relax with others while you do your own thing, you’re all welcome here. It’s just sharing time before we can get back to normal life after it’s all over. Remember, you’re never alone unless you keep yourself alone. Unity is always around you if you reach out. So stay safe and take care.

Date: 2025-03-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7478969098605464850?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 258: Mental Health and Tropical Cyclone Alfred. Events like cyclones can bring a lot of stress and anxiety

Just checking up on everyone who is in the path of Tropical Cyclone Alfred as we wait for it to hit landfall probably tomorrow morning, Saturday, 8th of March. So this is a time of uncertainty and we’re all stuck with disruptor routines and waiting for something. We’re not sure how it will turn out and whether we will be the lucky ones and escape without much impact or we’ll be, we’ll have to deal with some serious consequences of the cyclone. So in these times, I find it useful to acknowledge and to address the mental and emotional toll that these things can bring. So research indicates that exposure to extreme weather events, if they’re left unmanaged can lead to a large amount of stress, to anxiety and even post traumatic stress disorder. So here are some of the things that I do. First, I try to stay connected. I have multiple WhatsApp meet UPS already with family near and far. So even if we can’t physically be with each other, at least I am connected to them and talking about day to day things and giving my days a chance to feel normal. And second, I am limiting my exposure to media about the cyclone. I’m keeping up regularly with updates, but beyond those updates, I keep away from my screens and my media feeds because I’m sure the feeds will overwhelm me and trigger negative thoughts. So next is to keep up with my normal routines. My Sleep, my meals, my house laundry, my house cleaning, my family time, feeding my fishes, baking cakes. So I keep up with all of those. I work the hours I normally work and I rest during the hours I normally rest. So I also try to keep up with my relaxation practices. I do meditation and deep breathing and I do reflections and journaling to relieve the stress. The one thing I know going through these extreme weather events is that is natural to feel a range of emotions during these times. I try to acknowledge these feelings and what is happening to me and to find support for myself and to reach out to support others. This isn’t my first cyclone and I expect living in Queensland, I will continue to experience cyclones and floods and heat wave and fires and all sorts of extreme weather events. I’m grateful I have a family and community around me to share this with. I hope you are doing well as well and handling what’s happening. Take care. And that includes taking care of your mental, emotional and social needs.

Date: 2025-03-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7478220629322272020?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Preparation for Tropical Cyclone Alfred
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Date: 2025-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7477939707737951506?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 382: In Times of Disaster.

I’m getting my home ready for Tropical Cyclone Alfred. It’s scheduled to hit southeast Queensland in two days. We are expecting gale force winds and widespread flooding. And it seems strange it’s so calm tonight as we all wait for it to hit at this time, I want to share with you this perspective about living in Queensland where we’ve experienced a few natural disasters in the last few years. I want to tell you that when you’re standing beside a person in the middle of a storm as trees and rooftops fly past you, or as you stand knee deep in flood water as you watch cars wash downstream, or when you’re scorched by raging fire burning whole mountains in front of you, at those times you’re not going to care whether the person next to you said things in just the right way or did things exactly as you wanted. You’re not going to care whether he has the right shade of skin colour or the same sexual preference as you do or if he believes in the same god as you do. You only care if you can stand shoulder to shoulder and get out of the disaster alive. So it pays for us to remember this always. And we all share the same humanity. And in the end, we’re all facing the same things. And the only way we’re all getting out of this alive is to do it together. Stay safe.

Date: 2025-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7477822641483631890?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Tropical Cyclone Alfred
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Date: 2025-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7477195526241258760?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Reflection 257: The Music Within You.

This is a real life story. That’s one of the best metaphors I know for life. If you’ve never seen this footage, let me first explain the scene to you. This is Maria Joao Pires, a world renowned Portuguese pianist. She was set to perform at a lunchtime concert in the consulate in Amsterdam. She had rehearsed and prepared and showed up. But when the orchestra started to play, she realised she had prepared the wrong piece. So at that moment, as you can see in the footage, she panicked and she looked around and she turned to the conductor, Ricardo Shahi, and they talked briefly as she explained that she thought it was different concerto, but there was no way out because the music had already started. And then she plays. And somehow from deep inside her, the music came. Not because she planned for this moment, but because she spent years practicing her hands and her feet knew what to do, even if she consciously didn’t. She was shocked because she was expecting us to play another concerto. So when I started the first bar of the, the minor chord, she kind of jumped and panicked like a, like a, like an electric shock, I think. And she couldn’t, she couldn’t consider even moving ahead, playing, you know. And then, then we talked a moment and she told me I was expecting to play a completely different piece. I do what I can do if I remember and The miracle is that she has such a memory that she could within a minute switch to a new concerto without making one mistake. Most of the things that are valuable to us in our lives, love and kindness and joy, they don’t appear out of nowhere. They are skills and habits and mindsets that are baked into us through daily practice. Life will test them. Big moments will come when fear and loss will overwhelm us and will lead us to hate and anger and despair. And when they come, it will be whether we have devoted all moments of our daily lives to practice what we value so that they are strong enough to emerge. What music are you preparing within you?

Date: 2025-03-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7476853824477531410?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 256: The things I lost.

Today I was watching my sons as they were playing in the living room. Sometimes as a father, I catch myself just watching them, being amazed at how they’ve grown, the way they’ve developed, and feeling really blessed that they are part of my life and I am a part of their beautiful world. While I was watching, I also had this other feeling swept through me, this feeling of doubt as to whether I am adequate for them. Am I good enough? With all of my flaws and my failings, do they deserve better than what I can offer? I thought about my own dad, who I miss very much and wish he’s still around. I wasn’t always the best son. And the time we lost because of my failings, I can’t get them back anymore. Same way with my marriage that ended, with relationships and with friendships that didn’t work out and I couldn’t hang on to them because of my failings. I can’t have those back either. Sometimes we lose things because we’re not good enough to hold on to them. And those are the ones that hurt. And then my sons looked up. They had something to show me, a beautiful little building they built. They were all smiles about what they built and I smiled along with them. I’m never going to get back what I lost, but it is being able to accept my failures, to process, to talk about and to let go. Of those I lost that I can learn to cherish and to celebrate things I have, things I gained, like the beautiful boys who are in front of me.

Date: 2025-02-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7476305467917028629?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 381: Choosing Kindness.

Today I’m faced with a choice, to be kind or to be just. Someone who has not treated others around him very well, including me, have asked me for help. I have the capacity to help and I can set boundaries to ensure that my offer is not abused. But the question is, am I willing to help? Kindness means the most not when it is easy, but when it is hard. To aspire to kindness and to aspire to a kind society we wish to live in means sometimes extending kindness to others, even when it is not earned. But that is not an easy road to walk. I’m grateful that kindness exists in the world. I’m grateful for moments when we choose kindness, especially when it is hard. I hope for the strength and the wisdom to determine if today will be one of them.

Date: 2025-02-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7475973649875340551?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 380: Intentions and Actions.

today I received a few comments from subscribers saying that my videos haven’t appeared on their feed since they subscribed I’d like to share a perspective and gratitudeness related to that I follow thousands of creators myself and I don’t see content from every single one of them everyday and that’s because it’s not that I don’t appreciate their work it’s because algorithms don’t respond to intentions they respond to actions so subscribing is an intention but it’s actually watching and engaging and commenting and showing up those are actions that recommendation algorithms recognise so life is the same way that most things are worthwhile aren’t achieved through intentions alone they are achieved through consistent actions we can intend to be healthy but it is only when we eat well and we sleep well and we stay disciplined to exercise can we actually be healthy we can intend to be successful at work but success only comes when we put in the effort and keep learning and we continue to improve we can intend to be kind but kindness has only comes when we act through our words and through our actions and our choices in terms of the way that we treat other people so I don’t expect most of my subscribers will see this video and that’s okay because there’s a big difference between thinking a video is interesting and clicking subscribe compared to actively choosing to engage in a certain type of content consistently over time and maybe that’s something worth reflecting on that not just for content but for life but what we consistently engage in that shapes us beyond what we intended for at any particular moment so today I’m grateful for those who act who don’t just mean to do something but take steps to follow through because in the end it’s action that turns intention into reality

Date: 2025-02-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7475652291308080391?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 255: The pursuit of greatness.

I’m going to give my reaction to Timothee Chalamet’s speech in the 2025 SAG Awards. Normally, Hollywood and especially award shows are feature very low on my radar when it comes to what’s important in life. But this speech sounds unique and it opens a door for us to talk about something that I believe is very important in the lives of young people. And that is how to hold on to your dreams and to achieve greatness while still maintaining a grounded mindset that ultimately will keep you joyful. How to have both without needing to sacrifice one is a topic that I think about regularly and it’s a conversation I believe I will have to have with my children one day. When you’re young and you’re pursuing your dreams with a passion, you often find yourself walking a fine line between admiration and criticism. Sometimes the same person will admire you and criticize you at the same time. And when you declare your ambitions openly, the most natural response you get is skepticism. And you face a lot of labelling as being arrogant and told to stay humble. Our society has an uneasy relationship with ambition. We celebrate success, yet we often ridicule it. It’s a very funny feature of being human beings. So the dilemma is, how do you chase greatness without being perceived as arrogant? How do you remain driven without being worn down by a world that wants to convince you that if you want More you are flawed. The difference lies in the pursuit. What is healthy pursuit and what is unhealthy? A healthy pursuit for greatness is fueled by passion and discipline and love for what you do, for the craft itself. It acknowledges that growth never ends and mastery is only a journey and not a destination. Those who pursue greatness in a healthy way remains open to learning even when they have surpassed everyone else. They respect those who come before them and they recognize that success is never solely on their own. So their ambition lifts other people around them rather than isolate them from others. On the flip side, an unhealthy pursuit of greatness is fueled by the need for external validation, is a need to prove someone wrong or some sort of hunger or some anger to dominate others that work beside them. It means that there’s no room for feedback. It means our minds are filled with resentment and we trade confidence for entitlement. This kind of pursuit leads to burnout and to dissatisfaction and a fragile sense of self worth. The belief that only achievements can give us what is missing inside of us. In this type of pursuit, when we finally achieve what we set out to achieve, we find it fixes nothing, it changes nothing and the hole that was there when we started is still there. So back to Timothee Chalamet speech. So I don’t know if he wrote the speech himself and In the past, really, I never paid much attention to this actor. But if his speech is a true reflection of what he believes, then this kid’s got a good head on his shoulders. I’m probably not going to be very excited about what great acting achievements he might have, but I think maybe it’s worthwhile to watch how he pursues them, because in the end, the pursuit tells us so much more about a person than the achievements ever will.

Date: 2025-02-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7475267544786554128?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 253: Healthy GP Relationship.

just came out of my appointment with my GP and while I have my thoughts fresh I want to share with you and talk about this uh very important relationship uh between a patient and their GPS GPs or general practitioners are called family doctors or primary care physicians in other parts of the world and it’s very common for people to see the GPS as someone you go to to get a prescription or to get a note to get sick leave and I like to expand your perspective if I can hopefully change one or two lives among those of you who are listening in this day and age with the amount of health information that’s available if you can search and you can think for yourself you’d probably be able to read up on the latest information about your condition sometimes if your condition is rare you may find that you read up more on the latest research than your GP does so in that case is there a point to consulting them outside of getting medication or getting a certificate for sick leave I recently went through some difficulties with my mental health and with my psychologist help I dealt with it and I’m managing the issues now is there a point for me to speak to my GP about it I’d say there is because my GP is someone that I have a long term professional relationship with on my health journey rather than just a tool that I use and in a meaningful relationship we have communications and we have continuity I share my history with my GP she understand what I’m going through and I understand what she’s trying to say to me she coordinates my care in the health system which means she expands on my relationship with her to other professionals specialists who can help me like all relationships though things don’t work by accident the patient doctor relationship I have comes from repeated visits especially during reviews when I’m healthy uh it means having honest conversations which means I can’t be lying to her to get a certificate for sick leave uh it means building a safe environment for me to share my problems that I have in my life and the including the embarrassing stuff or the vulnerable stuff and that’s it it’s a relationship a professional one that’s built on communication on trust on understanding if that’s not how you see GPs in the past next time you visit I hope you give that relationship a chance to build a meaningful one uh if you encounter GP who may not be right for you then try another one there are lots of them around and my experience is that most GPs do want to have a trusting and meaningful relationship with their patients good health doesn’t come from having quick fixes and good health needs healthy relationships and there’s none more important than the relationship you have with your GP

Date: 2025-02-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7475047734714666295?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Refleciton 253: If death sits next to me
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Date: 2025-02-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7474595578324815110?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 252: Spirituality.

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Date: 2025-02-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7474237547691003141?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 379: Currency of Trust and Goodwill

Today I had lunch with a few friends at my house. I prepared some dishes and they brought some dishes of their own. We updated each other on what was happening in our lives and supported each other on some health and relationship difficulties that we are facing. We laughed at some happy things that we were doing and funny things happening. And we talked about food. That’s our favorite subject. And as I waved them goodbye at my doorstep, as they drove away, I thought how much we exchanged in terms of intangible human transactions that happened in that short hour that we spent together, how much trust and goodwill and love and happiness that we exchanged. It is unfortunate that we don’t keep track intentionally of these transactions the way we keep track of more sterile exchanges like money. Today, I’m grateful for those precious and sustaining currency, the invisible wealth of trust and goodwill that we built together that carries on long after everyone has gone home.

Date: 2025-02-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7473693549310086421?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 251: The Less Inspiring Dad.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been watching a lot of t V shows to get inspiration on life problems. I’m a big fan of shows like Ted Lasso and The Good Place and more recently, nobody wants this. I think they get us to think and to feel deep emotions, uh, about us as human beings and the complex ways that we relate to each other. One thing I think is consistent for all of them is that they are dramatic and inspiring. I’m not sure if a show can exist if it is not inspiring. What go, who goes and makes uninspiring shows? And do uninspiring shows even make it to our screens? It makes me compare t V. Shows to social media. When you have a social media presence is very natural and very tempting to try and inspire because there’s an abundance of tools like audio and visual and scripts and storytelling. Media through the centuries and across cultures has often aimed to inspire. And media wraps up life problems into these inspiring packages. And all of that leads me to think about my kids when they face life problems, when they need someone and they choose to come to me, what kind of dad will I be? Will I be able to inspire them? And I think the dad I want to be is the less inspiring one because most of life problems is not solved by inspiration. It’s not solved by stirring emotions. Or drama, or solutions that can be neatly wrapped up in a show or video. The person who can help my kids at times when they are troubled is one who is stable, not looking to dramatize, can sit with them over time, and knowing that problems are not solved today or tomorrow or perhaps ever, but they are problems to face together.

Date: 2025-02-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7473081433741905173?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 250: High Functioning Depressive Episode.

I want to share with you what a high functioning depressive episode feels like. I’m just coming out of one a couple of weeks ago. Quite a few different things happened all at the same time that put a lot of pressure on my life, some involving a few family members. A close friend got sick in conflict at work that I wasn’t expecting. And all these came at a time when I was already tired from a few weeks of heavier than normal workload. So I wasn’t physically at the top of my game. As everything piled up, my mood dropped substantially and I felt depressed. Being depressed is something I’m familiar with, comes with having a complex neurological makeup. The episodes that I usually experience I described as a high functioning. I can still meet all of my obligations and keep up with my chores. I can complete project deadlines. I can meet people. I even laugh at jokes that people make and I can support others who need it. To the vast majority of people who have brief contact with me, there’s no discernible difference from how I usually am because the struggle is inside. It is sadness and hopelessness and distress inside. Being down inside doesn’t necessarily show on the outside. And often I don’t realise I’m in the middle of it because I continue to do what I normally do. I explain away my low mood as being, for instance, something physical. I’m just physically Tired and needing a good night sleep or I tell myself that I need to come up with a plan to solve my work problems and then I’ll fix everything. But like all other mental health struggles and depression can make us do things that worsen the conditions. When I’m depressed, I binge watch TV and end up missing more sleep. Oh, when I ruminate on problems to think it through further but all I feel is even worse. And because I am ruminating and avoiding taking action, these patterns feed on themselves and are self perpetuating. So how did I realize that something was wrong? That’s the value of having people around me who know my normal routines. Although I can push myself to keep up with some things, low energy means I can’t keep up with everything. So more dirty dishes started to pile up and I stopped going to places I normally go and um, and I’m stuck. I stuck to myself more and more. It takes, it took people who know me well enough to notice something is off and they care enough to ask if I’m okay. When one or two people ask, I brush it aside. But after four or five or six people ask, I finally start to recognize that something was wrong. Um, then I saw, then I could see my own behaviour clearly that I was uh, for instance, still in my pajamas going into the afternoon when I was working. At home or normal emails that sit in my inbox unread for days and I feel inclined to open them or that I had um multiple shows playing on multiple screens as I was doing work because I was trying to artificially boost my mood. I was also withdrawing from activities I normally enjoy like making videos and I noticed that normally I would have one videos a day and that I do enthusiastically and during this period then it started to drop that you know, there were days when I don’t make any so my mood start to get worse because I start blaming myself for not keeping up or blaming others for putting me in that situation or feeling inadequate about myself for being in that state. So once I caught myself and I realised it was just beyond me handling myself and pulling myself through, I called my psychologist. I’ve been seeing my psychologist for for such a long time that the conversation with him can significantly change my direction. I also spoke to my priest and people close to me at church for some spiritual support and I open up to family members who understand what I’m going through. Then I return to my healthy routines those regular meals and proper sleep and journaling in a constructive way and practicing gratitude which is a big advantage. So none of these things work immediately but each day became a little better than the last and gradually the Dark clouds lifted and I could sit with discomfort without feeling overwhelmed. I’m sharing all of this with you because I believe most people have gone through something similar to in one form or another to something that I have experienced. If this resonates with you, then I hope you share it with someone, somebody close because sometimes simply hearing from someone else that felt the same way can make us feel less isolated. Mental health ebbs and flows and having an episode doesn’t mean we are failing. It means we’re human and sometimes we need a bit more care and understanding both from ourselves and from people around us. Don’t wait to fight something like this. When you are at your lowest point, start fighting it when you’re healthy. Establish some routines that are ingrained enough that when you need to call on them that you can, you can do so without too much effort. That would mean having regular bedtime routines or planning balanced meals or scheduling non negotiable downtime. It means cultivating a gratitude practice, writing a few lines of things you appreciate every day so that when your perspective starts to go dark, you can call on your habits of tapping into something good. It really helps for you to have people around you who can spot changes in your mood or your behaviour. They can let you know that something is off, especially if you’re caught up in day to day tasks and you might Not notice it yourself. If you can build relationship with professionals like therapists or psychologists or counselors, call a check in or call in session can do wonders in steering you away from a downward spiral. And finally, remember that when depression or any other mental struggle hits, no matter how gloomy things appear, there is always hope. It might take some time and it rarely comes in one giant breakthrough, but it often comes in a, in small subtle improvements. One day being a little bit better than the last. And each positive choice and each conversation and each supportive hand that you allow yourself to, to lean on, all that add up to recovery. I’ll close this reflection with an assurance that you’re not alone and you’re not broken. The very act of acknowledging how you feel and being open to get help is a victory in itself. And don’t, don’t be afraid to lean on your routines, to reach out to your support network and to take steps either big or small towards healing. And um, every day is a chance to rebuild your strength and it’s absolutely possible to emerge on the other side.

Date: 2025-02-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7472420674208795912?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 378: A Glass of Milk

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Date: 2025-02-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7471611147695787281?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 249: Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day I’d like to share with you a video I took recently of a couple of friends of mine take number 3 alright Des and Trish Trish tell me about your husband he’s an honourable man oh isn’t that nice that was at a neighbourhood get together on a Sunday evening some of us get together have some food and drinks and catch up usually we just have the normal neighbourly banter but I thought what Trish and Des said and did was special so I caught it on camera and they were happy enough for me to share it it’s corny right the way Trish open the express admiration for Des all of us had a laugh including themselves well I’m showing it to you precisely because it is corny and they still had the courage to say it and to share it human connection relies on us being open to admiration for people who are close to us and to openly express that admiration all the people that we choose to have around us we choose to have them around because we admire something about them even if it is small things like the way they laugh at our corny jokes or how they remember our favourite drinks or how they gently encourage us when we need it but often we bury this admiration we don’t think about it and we certainly don’t say it enough and for couples especially as the years go by the impetus to express it the effort we put in to do it becomes less and less and so we lose a big part of what it means to be connected As a divorced man I know how it feels to make that mistake so on this Valentine’s Day I like to thank my friends Trish and Des for their reminder I hope you open your heart to what you admire about your Valentine I hope you find the courage to express that admiration I hope you can find it in yourself to keep that openness and courage for the other 364 days of the year outside of Valentine’s Day

Date: 2025-02-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7471209070410616071?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 377: Chopping Zucchini.

today I’m grateful for daily meal preparation routines I am chopping zucchini I like doing that no two slices ever come out the same and you can chop them in a variety of different shapes and sizes but in the end they all come together to a delicious meal if I prepare it right so for us in life it doesn’t matter what shape and sizes we are it is about how we all come together to create something greater than ourselves

Date: 2025-02-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7470719696376024341?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 376: New Growth.

today I’m grateful for new growth this is a wall outside my study window I poisoned the vines to keep it under control and for the past couple of weeks I’ve been watching it slowly wither and die and the more I watched the more sad I got because it was dying and I killed it but out of what remains from the sad sight of the dried leaves are signs of new shoots coming out and this wall will one day be green again a lot of times things don’t work out and we can’t stay with them and we have to do something to move away but always from pain of things that cannot last are opportunities if we look for them for new things to emerge that is just as good just as alive and just as worthy to be a part of us

Date: 2025-02-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7469426430212869396?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
It’s me I’m you #2: Children.

Hey, it’s me. I’m you recording this in case you lose your memory. Something you need to remember. You have two boys. If they’re not with you, you need to go find them because they’re probably looking for you, wondering where you are and why you’re not around. They might be scared and crying because you’re gone. And you might be scared, too, that if you see them, you don’t know what to say and you don’t know what to do. But I’m here to help you remember that even if your memory comes back, as a parent, you still might not say the right words or do the right things. That’s okay because what your boys want is you.

Date: 2025-02-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7469425355229596949?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
It’s me I’m you #1

Hey, it’s me. I’m you. I’m recording this in case you lose your memory. This is what I want you to remember. Look around you. See the people around you? I’m here to remind you that you spent 50 years of your life building relationships so you have people around you who are people worth having around you, who care about you, who you care about. So look around. They are it. They are what your life is about. Give them a smile. Tell them you’re okay because they are around. Tell them whatever road it takes for you to recover, you’re okay because you trust them. And when you tell them that, look into their eyes, see the love they have for you. And from that, you will remember who you are.

Date: 2025-02-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7469028681709571349?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 248: Audience to our own life.

I’m watching some old TV shows in an old episode of TV show suits the character Mike Ross he deliberately lost a mock courtroom case because instead of doing the aggressive thing to win he chose the human thing of not attacking a friend so in that scene he lost and all the characters around him considered him a loser but that character won us over as audience members when we’re sitting back and watching the scene sometimes TV or cinema can be a good metaphor for life we can think of our lives as a TV show or movie we can follow the script that will tell us whether we’re winning or losing and play along and if we play it right it means we win and people around us will like us it’s very easy to follow the script but the real value for us as human beings is that we can step back and look at our lives and sometimes make decisions that the script says we lose and depend on ourselves as our own audience to know that we won and perhaps one day with someone close to us perhaps our children when they grow up and we are rewatching our own show we share in that life where we lost according to the script but ultimately it’s the life that is actually worth living\

Date: 2025-02-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7468594298330598674?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 247: A pill to drive away the blues.

some days I wish there’s a pill for happiness something to chase the blues away you know that feeling when you’re not depressed but something’s not quite right then you have some idea what’s behind it but it’s not anything you can do something about you know that feeling that’s what I have right now don’t know if I have anything amazing to tell you about this part of the human experience if I had a solution I would have done it so I’m sharing with you this moment when I wish things are better but they’re not if you’re feeling the same way at least we’re not alone and that’s worth something

Date: 2025-02-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7468388811978968328?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 375: From nasty to nice.

the world is nasty sometimes it’s also nice it’s been three days since my last video and that’s the longest stretch I’ve gone in more than two years without pulling out my phone to record my thoughts the situation is that I’ve been emotionally drained by a lot of things from stress and fear and confusion when that happens words don’t come to me and I can’t make videos without words when my mind is silent then it is dark and that is a nasty world for me but when it’s nasty there is also sometimes a small spark somewhere for instance a message from a friend that helps me feel less isolated is a moment of rest that leads me to breathe deeply it is a small moments of curiosity that takes me to somewhere uplifting or creative a nice world for me is defined by openness it is being honest but when I’m hurting and being receptive to others that reach out to help me is also defined by empathy it’s recognising that everyone carries their own battles and is worthwhile for me to offer compassion to others even when I’m struggling myself in that kind of world times when I’m silent is an invitation to learn more about who I am and what I need when my relationships become not just a safety net but also a space for me to discover with others together in the end moving from nasty to nice is a journey of self awareness is allowing myself to be seen and heard and being held even if it starts from nothing more than just a shaky moment of reflection in front of this phone camera

Date: 2025-02-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7466436199289294097?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 246: What we build.

with so much productivity tools out there including AI that greatly enhances our capacity and helping us to be more creative tonight it occurs to me that the more mundane task of building is the more valuable ability we used to aspire to creativity coming up with amazing new stuff but now that new stuff fills our screens and comes out of machines so easily we realise that it is taking even simple components and building something building a project a relationship a career and most of all building a life that’s what’s worthwhile when I see creative pieces of content these days I usually look behind the scenes at the creators have they build something with it or are they riding on a viral moment or a flash in a pan late at night like now it is knowing we have built something that allows us to close our eyes and drift off to sleep content reflect on what you have built or what you are building and I wish you a good night sleep on that reflection

Date: 2025-01-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7465956265986952469?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 374: Clear space.

I put my Apple Macbook laptop in for repairs at an Apple Store I’m gonna be without it for about a week it’s gonna be quite a major disruption to to work but every time that it happens it’s the chance to step back and create some space and let other important things into my life for instance I’ve been meaning to get the school hat the right school hat for my kids I got a chance to do that because my afternoon is clear

Date: 2025-01-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7465553366274313493?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 245: The Stories We Don’t Tell.

I was thinking today about the birth of my children. As fathers, we often share stories of that experience, the waiting, the first cry, the cutting the cord, holding our child for the first time. Those are precious memories that shape who we are. But as I reflect on it, what strikes me is how strong those memories are. The story I tell that are entirely from my perspective, my emotions, my experiences, my transformation as a father. Birth of a child is a moment of connection for a lot of people, but my narration is through one lens, my own. What about the mother’s story, the physical and emotional journey she went through? Her story of the same day, of the same events, at the same place, at the same time is completely different from mine, but it’s equally true and equally profound, perhaps even more so. Why is it in my head, in my memories, my story dominates? Why isn’t it a joint story when I tell it? I think about the way we engage with the world, especially online. We’re constantly prompted to look inward, to share our unique perspective, to build our personal brand. We declare our opinions. We showcase our experiences. We wanna highlight how unique we are. The algorithm rewards us for it. The more distinct we are, the more attention we get. Is all of that making us forget how to look outward? What forum asks us to tell stories from somebody else’s Point of view. Do we get to practice listening, to try and understand a perspective different from our own, not to debate it or judge it or try to find our own unique take on it, but simply to acknowledge that someone else’s truth can be just as valid as ours, even when it differs completely from my experience. I think my children’s story is so much richer if told from more than one person’s perspective. To do that, I have to let go a little bit and let other stories emerge, if at nowhere else except the corners of my own head. To have the practice of holding multiple truths at once, of understanding that our story is just one thread in a much larger story. Sometimes the most meaningful growth doesn’t come from expressing ourselves more clearly, but from learning to step outside of ourselves. I wonder what stories I’ve been missing out on in my life.

Date: 2025-01-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7465308156676164885?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 373: Culture in a connected world

Today, I’m grateful for how Chinese New Year is unfolding across the online world. Right now, there are countless people sharing their secret dumpling recipes that the next generation are watching across the ocean and new people just discovering what the red packet means for the first time. And someone in San Francisco is just beginning to have their New Year Eve reunion dinner, while others in Singapore are finishing their celebrations. For the first day, over 1 billion people celebrate together and many more watching and learning and joining in. This Celebration that began thousands of years ago now lives and breathes in videos and live streams and digital red packets. That’s what culture looks like in our connected world today. Then it’s not fading away but growing richer, reaching further and touching more people. Happy New Year. I’m grateful you’re here.

Date: 2025-01-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7465229992604077332?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Happy Chinese New Year 2025

Video montage

Date: 2025-01-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7464809940683672853?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 372: My tree when the screen is off.

does the past few months feel messy to you what’s appearing on your screen? for me it is a lot of people worked up things going wrong problems we have to fix the messages to stick together and then mixed in with calls to push toxic people away life seems even messier than it was three months ago and it was messy enough back then but when I have that feeling I remember that things I see on my screen is designed to be fragmented and disruptive I don’t have to take what’s in my screen into my life today I went to get some food for Chinese New Year and I’ll tidy up my garden later on the sun is shining outside tonight is family reunion that’s my life the screen is just a distraction from those nothing I can buy with money or fix with technology will bring true happiness to me money and technology are like water for a tree it is essential but it is not the tree first I need to find my tree my values my loved ones my community my culture my memories my dreams those are my trees and I can only see them when the screen is off

Date: 2025-01-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7464572862364536080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @Dr Audra #mensmentalhealth

Overlay text on video

Date: 2025-01-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7464558243558280468?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 244: Empowering the powerful.

is there a piece of tech that out of the box is actually usable by a vulnerable person I’ve just been trying to help my mum who’s 88 years old who is struggling to use her phone it is frustrating it seems tech devices is made so that people who need them the most spend time servicing the devices rather than the devices servicing them my mum spent a lifetime servicing her community as a hospital nurse and now in her late years when she should be getting something back she’s now in service again to tech companies hours of her life and hours for the rest of us in the family supporting her is taken up by updates that she didn’t ask for features she doesn’t need and interfaces that just keeps changing we’re slaves to the company we pay money to is this the world we built for people like our elderly and vulnerable people who needs technology solutions the most my mum’s golden years are now measured as unpaid labour to tech companies what I really would like to see is just 100 people in this world out of the billions of users and the billions of devices that get sold every year just 100 vulnerable users who can say they bought a product it changed their lives for the better without complaining about how unusable it is or needing a whole tech support team just to get it to work just 100 people I don’t think this 100 people exist for all the fancy tech company models like do the right thing or give people the power or empower every person for the billion dollar marketing budgets on how life changing their products are for people who need it the people who are powerless who need empowering the most are clearly servicing the powerful who need empowering the least

Date: 2025-01-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7464165491184127249?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 243: what fills my cup?

I’ll get to this in a moment first I’ll tell you about my day I’m feeling quite low I think I’ve been slowly depleting my baseline level of energy through a busy Christmas and New Year period and then taking on a lot of opportunities as the New Year came along so I’m not very exuberant today but when I’m depleted like this I find that this is a good opportunity for self discovery because when the energy is low my heart and mind tolerates less BS so observing what I naturally like and don’t like to do tells me a lot about my authentic preferences and relationships that’s meaningful to me as opposed to ones that drain me so for example I noticed myself thinking about a few people today and saying to myself not today I just don’t have the energy for them it’s not to say that there are bad people uh everyone has their own kind of goodness but we just not compatible and sometimes it is not good to swim against a strong current when I have no energy to swim so on the positive side I notice uh I sent a message to a couple of friends I haven’t caught up with for a while and um and I spontaneously organise a Chinese New Year party between my kids here in Australia and my mum in Malaysia so that’s what this is for it’s for the lion dance that um we’ll do together it came from a local shop so the fact that I did these things on autopilot um the messages to my friends and the organising family parties that tells me that they are genuine sources of joy and satisfaction for me and I made this video making reflection videos uh fills my cup so what do you do when your energy is low what authentically fills your cup

Date: 2025-01-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7463665896024755457?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 371: Ecosystem of Gratitude

Couple of days ago, before I shot and posted my gratitude video, I was talking to my eldest son about it. I want to do the video on sharing moments. And he thought that a better one to do for that day was about limitations to keep us on our routine. We talked about it for a bit and because it was about gratitude and we were in a grateful state of mind, that exchange did more to lift us than the, the final video that I ended up recording. My kids and I talk about gratitude. We make a gratitude a form of gameplay. We record home videos expressing gratitude. And I’m sharing of this with you to highlight that gratitude practice is more than just a once off at hop feel good things that we say to ourselves. It can seep into our hearts and minds and into who and what is around us. Um, it can colour what we see and alter the way we act, the way we interact with people and it changes the world around us. It feeds on itself and it compounds and it becomes an ecosystem. So next time you feel a gratitude moment, share it. If you see someone sharing a gratitude, respond to it. That ecosystem can spread to envelop your world.

Date: 2025-01-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7463053021770042640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 370: Moments of sharing

tonight I’m grateful for moments of sharing is just after dinner for me and it’s just before I wash my dishes it is the same mundane routine every night but by taking this moment to stop to reflect and to record and to reach out to you I create the moment of sharing that is meaningful to me take moments to stop and reflect reach out and invite someone next to you to stop and reflect with you create your moments of meaningful sharing

Date: 2025-01-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7462702533295885589?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 242: My AI Avatar and I.

If I can put the best of me and put it into an AI Avatar, would there be any reason to still have me around? Would my mom want to have the best version of her son? And would my kids want to have the best version of their dad? This week I began a project to train an AI Avatar to be the best of me. Someone who knows my stories, has my skills and models what I can offer. I’m tentatively calling this future Avatar d 0 a I. It will take us some time to collect data and build. I think it will be exciting. My goal is to create an entity that can help people in their social and emotional development. It won’t just have my own experiences. I want to enhance it with knowledge that we have in this area so it can be even more helpful to others than I can be on my own. As I imagine the future Avatar, one that looks and sounds like me, can share my stories better than I can, will be more consistent, will be available 24 7. I have to ask, what then is the point of having me around? The answer to me is because an Avatar for all of his abilities is ultimately just a tool. The one glaring thing that they cannot do is form relationships. In real relationships, people share experiences that impact on both sides. People are present sharing time and Sharing space. And the most important aspect that an Avatar can’t replicate is how true relationships often tolerate, sometimes require messiness and imperfections. Things like mistakes and unexpected moments, conflicts, resolutions, scars, forgiveness, the chance to move on. The world and life itself are inherently imperfect and tools like AI avatars can help us function. But it is real relationships that gives us the chance to survive and thrive because we can face all the messiness together. So back to the original question, is there, if there is an AI Avatar that captures the best of me, would my mum and my kids still want me around? I’m pretty sure they would because I certainly don’t want the best version of them. I just want them, let’s see what the future brings.

Date: 2025-01-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7462316345787534613?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 369: Listening to unique voices

today I’m grateful for the opportunity to hear so many unique voices in the world today this morning I came across a video from a creator haven’t seen before I’ll link her video in the description she was discussing her experiences growing up as a migrant child but beyond the topic I was struck by how unique the message was and how unique her delivery was I believe social media is serving as a repository for powerful creative unique voices voices that throughout human history no other form of media has truly been able to capture in substantial ways the concern I have is the trend of low key deeply resonant voices like the one I heard this morning being drowned out by loud voices in all the platforms at home as a parent or in my work as an educator we devote considerable time to ensure that kids and young people keep their voice but outside of homes and places like schools on social media especially who watches out for the individual voices of others leaders seems obsessed with their own voice the major media outlets look for the loudest most mass appealing voices who is listening and supporting the quiet individual voices it takes effort to keep anything that’s worth while keeping if we’re genuine in our wish to preserve our own individual voices it is it is incumbent upon us to support the individual voices of others in ways more than a click or follow the impact has last more than a few minutes it is incumbent upon us to do it as human beings to put in effort to listen to hear the diverse and unique things we have to say to each other right now a lot of people worth listening to are not heard if this trend continues with coming age of AI most will turn to machines to listen to us is that the future we want

Date: 2025-01-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7461834393334615316?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 241: Impact of the US TikTok Ban.

in what way does the US TikTok ban impact you does it impact you at all last night 170 million US users and creators were snapped out of existence from the TikTok community and it’s been interesting watching the content that came up to fill the gap there was a lot of uh entertaining and creative and funny content about uh refugees on Red Note about uh Americans learning Mandarin saying goodbye to the Chinese spies and so on a lot about Facebook taking over TikTok and about C E O’s turning up to the U S Presidential inauguration so I watch them all I laughed I cried I scroll for hours as I always do on this crazy app but when I finally stepped away what impact does it actually have on me that 170 million users make up over 15% of the whole TikTok user base if a single act to wipe them all out and the next day we wake up to what we have this morning what does that say about the supposed community here well it’s easy to say that they’re just Americans we don’t like them anyway but what if it’s you that disappeared what if everyone associated with you disappeared and after you disappeared what the people that were left behind did was make more entertainment if that happens would you say you were in a community community takes effort beyond entertainment and jokes and a momentary tear community means something we want to put work into to hang on to and I wonder on TikTok or on Instagram or YouTube or x any of the social media apps what makes the users communities tell me what does your social media community mean to you

Date: 2025-01-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7461544227990801685?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Somehow, seems right to repost this today… #tiktokban #friendship#chinesesong #duet with @Learning with Leong

Singing cover

Date: 2025-01-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7461516972472274184?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 240: The Hand Model for Relationships

here’s a model for strong connections and relationships that last in today’s complex world imagine that my hands are two different people they start off having no connection but then they come in contact with each other through something that they do share over time additional points of contact happens and as connections grow their lives become intertwined but as they grow and they respond to the complexities of the world around them they change as individuals and many of the things that they once had connecting them they now no longer share and only the real common area between them remains that’s the first point that I’m making in this model is knowing ourselves is essential to allow us to identify what is it that we genuinely share with another person to form a connection that can endure however simply knowing what we share isn’t enough without effort the two will still drift apart what is needed is effort on both sides to hold on to what they share and it’s not enough that one side is working or that one side is working on one thing and the other side is working on something else they still drift apart that’s the second important point for strong connections is that both sides must exert effort together to hold on to the same thing that they want to hold in common when that happens then new opportunities for connection happens and they their lives become intertwined again in a different way what’s your experience with relationships either family or friends or work or online what are the features of strong relationships that last for you

Date: 2025-01-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7461207154607918353?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 239: Declaring public opinions. Should I share my opinions on right and wrong publicly?

in some conversations I had today I was asked why I don’t weigh in on major hot topics on social media and to give my opinions about what I think is right and wrong don’t I have a view and why do I share that view first of all yes I do have opinions some very strong ones but is rare I state openly strong opinions on trending topics as tempting as it is to reach a wider audience the reason I don’t share my strong opinions is the same reason I don’t weigh in when my boys come to me and they say they have a dispute and he’s just telling me what they think is right and wrong I want them to get along and they need to sort it out themselves my role is to facilitate them to sort it out to help them listen to each other to find ways to move forward and me declaring my opinion on the issues just inflames their argument at another time when they have been able to move on when they found common ground when they have when they we are talking reasonably as a family and listening reasonably then I will give my opinion because then it may move our understanding forward now I realise that having this stance of focusing on getting along first opening myself up to many of the standard criticisms such as enabling justice to silence perpetuating false equivalents or appearing to avoid moral responsibility on this I wanna make a point about the difference between declaring opinions publicly and actual actions based on opinions I’m comfortable that I have lived a life where I held on to my beliefs and have taken strong actions to affirm them and achieve outcomes from them the question at hand is whether me using a public microphone to broadcast opinions about right and wrong does any real good or does it just attract attention for me for attention’s sake tell me what you think about public opinions on the internet do they help you should there be more or should there be less

Date: 2025-01-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7460859762331094292?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 238: Vibe.

I went to buy a gift today at the Kidstuff store at Westfield Carindale that’s a large shopping centre here in Brisbane while chatting to the store manager we compared Carindale to another nearby shopping centre Garden City I told her that uh Carindale feels cosier somehow and she suggested it might be because the centre puts carpets everywhere and I thought about it what do you think I think it does make a difference compared to normal tile floors for a centre it gives us a vibe when I first moved into this house I focus a lot on vibe for the place things like lighting and greenery and carpets vibe is important because when my family and I walk into the house we want to have a certain feel we want to be comfortable in the space our conscious mind has so many things to think about these days that um it needs to take breaks so we often rely on other signals um more subtle signals when we judge whether a place suits us why vibe is important to talk about is because this same instinct carries over to how we interact with people we’re attracted to or we avoid certain people because the vibe is on or off with that those people there’s a vibe between people but it’s hard to define is it how they dress or how they speak how quickly or slowly they move Is it their height um the personal space they keep or the way they make eye contact it’s hard enough defining what goes into a vibe for a place it’s nearly impossible to determine what impacts on the vibe you have for a person is it their race their gender is it if they have a disability or what is their sexual orientation it’d be nice if all of those factors don’t impact on how we feel but I know I struggle to see past those things I keep working on it everyday I think that’s okay how someone subconsciously impact me is one thing more important thing is how I consciously choose to act with the other person and this is where going on vibe to form relationships is perhaps not a good idea impressions are commonly misleading when I work on my relationships with people that I meet uh to find something deeper than the vibe that someone gives me I generally find something worthwhile in that person so what gives a vibe to you when you go places or when you meet people how do you go beyond the vibe to find something that’s really there

Date: 2025-01-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7460423206239767828?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 368: Terrence Ho and Daily Gratitude Practice.

I’d like to share with you the power of daily gratitude practice and I point you to someone whose story might help you see how gratitude might fit into your own life have a link to an interview of Terrence Ho from Canada he began gratitude journaling in 2015 and started sharing it publicly in 2021 and he now has an unbroken streak of over 1,400 daily gratitude videos which is an incredible testament to commitment I share this with you because for somebody new to doing gratitude it’s not obvious what you can get out of it isn’t it just looking on the bright side of life it can be that but if you stop there you miss out on a lot I think of it true and analogy with uh saving and investing when you start off it seems pointless to forgo a good cup of coffee and save $5 and invest it only to earn about 5 cents after a year but we do it repeatedly and consistently and the power of accumulation and compound interest will grow that into something huge and eventually the routine is ingrained we have large pool of money you can draw on and we so adept at making financial decisions by doing it so Terrence is an example of someone who invested in himself and his social circles so that he’s now rich in the well being sense he’s a human being like you and I with problems and flaws but what he has is a routine and a pool of well being resources to draw on that came from daily gratitude the question for us is whether we want to put in the effort to build our routine and resources and turn us rich in that sense stories like Terrence is rare on the internet I find a lot of people who are socially and emotionally well off seem to be very quiet and make a point of staying out of attention so it’s an opportunity to learn about Terrence who through a unique sense set of circumstances ended up sharing his gratitude publicly and to do it consistently for so many years so follow link and hear his story and incorporate it into your own life he’s talking to Katie who’s also someone doing transformative work online I think you find it valuable

Date: 2025-01-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7460219163622100245?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 237: Safe Spaces.

today’s reflection prompt is what makes a safe space for you in our journey to grow together as we walk alongside each other the space in which we share has to be safe and that means we have to understand what makes it safe for other people that we share the space with it also means more importantly that we have to have the skill and the courage to say what makes us safe and that’s a very vulnerable act because we have to say what scares us what can hurt us we’re giving other people the Kryptonite to our superhero exterior I’ll start by sharing mine I’ll tell you a story of something that happened when I was very little I loved art as a little boy and once I won the big art competition and my parents were so proud that during a family gathering they told all my elder relatives about the achievement and and showed them the certificate I received I was embarrassed and I tried to take away that certificate but the more I tried the more everyone told me I was unreasonable then tried to forcibly grab the certificate from the adults but I was too short and they just held it high out of my reach I was so mad that I ran off to hide in my room these days I can manage my emotions a lot better and I don’t forcibly try to stop people from saying certain things about me but the fear that that little boy had is still in me that is to be at a place where my agency over who I am is taken away from me that someone else tells the story of who I am and mostly under the guise that they know what’s best for me when I don’t have a voice that is an unsafe space for me now over to you what makes a place unsafe for you

Date: 2025-01-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7459768369844194580?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 367: Journaling unresolvable problems.

tonight I’m grateful for journals I’m just finishing journaling some of the more difficult issues that happened to me today part of being human is having challenging emotional issues to work through and journaling can help me process those issues and sometimes our solutions come through working through those issues but to be honest there are times when the problems are unsolvable either because the price to pay to solve them is too high or it requires actions from other people that I can’t control or the problem has been around for so long that it is so complex and I can’t even process them when I hit those I appreciate the other important function of journals which is that I can put it down on paper I can close the page put it away so that problems now reside somewhere else besides being in here or in here and eating at me so I appreciate journals that they have that capacity

Date: 2025-01-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7459021560679107861?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 236: Leave room for the real things in life.

this story is for all of you budding tech entrepreneurs out there who are building things to change the world it was pouring with rain today you can still hear it still is in front of the hall where I met my friend Bev for morning tea the footpath was wet and slippery and Bev has mobility problems so these walkways are treacherous to her in these wet conditions someone who started my career in tech I can dream of many technologies they can solve for problems like uh wet grip wheels for her walker or built in umbrella that open and closes automatically I can dream of these things but I know there’s no market for it there’s no attention or seed funding or headline news they just won’t dominate the world so I can’t wait for them tell me you solve the problem in the simple way I know how less by offering an arm by holding a hand and we take one step at a time slowly together I can solve the problem with patience and kindness and human connection so to you budding world changers out there by all means dream big make big things change the world everyone deserves a chance to chase their dreams but leave room for the real things in life because you may find that at the other end once you’ve changed the world that your world hasn’t changed there may still be something missing a gap or hole that you thought changing the world would fill but it doesn’t that hole is only filled by a space in your heart that you leave open to solving problems of just one person for just one moment a space that’s your capacity to love and to care enough to hold someone’s hand across a slippery path

Date: 2025-01-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7458601197994396944?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I heard this msg today. Was it the universe talking… or just my mum reminding me I haven’t called? 🤔

if the universe could talk it would say don’t listen to me listen to your mum

Date: 2025-01-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7458317899321576725?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 366: A message before bed.

just a message for you before bed tonight I’m thinking about those who may be weighed down by unresolved issues with someone close to you maybe a conversation didn’t end well maybe one or both of you did something you shouldn’t have I want to acknowledge to you that it’s not easy having that weigh down on you before bed I hope you can show yourself some compassion and dial back on replaying events in your head leave a message here if it helps you let go a little bit be grateful there’s always tomorrow when you can deal with it differently but for tonight I wish you peace and a good night’s rest

Date: 2025-01-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7457778588071365909?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 365: Lunch.

I’ll share with you a moment in my day so my kids and I just had lunch and before lunch we weren’t in very good mood so the game umm that the kids were playing didn’t end very well and they were silent with each other and I asked them to pack up but they weren’t listening so none of us were very happy so looking at that situation the perfect solution would have been for the boys to redo the game and end it well um and then for them to pack up so that I’ll be happy but that perfect that’s the perfect solution the imperfect solution was for us to eat our lunch which we did and we had a beautiful lunch and at least our hunger now is not contributing to the problem but throughout the lunch then our mood picked up and uh we had more games and and now we’ve moved on to life um being wonderful again so I’m sharing this with you because a lot of times we waste our time pushing ourselves and each other to get the perfect solution that we never going to get and then waste the chance to do the imperfect solutions that ultimately will lead us to the same happy life I’m grateful that you can share this moment with me

Date: 2025-01-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7457401149868576021?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 235: The growth we chase.

one of the easiest things in life is to grow big have lots of money and be famous most people including you don’t do it because we have higher ambitions we’re living in a point in history where everywhere we turn we see this push to grow and get more more productive more sales more income more points more attention more followers growth isn’t a problem in itself but we get in trouble when we worship a narrow kind of growth if you wanna check whether you’re caught in this mindset think about the loudest voices you hear in your head the people you listen to look at how they introduce themselves what jumps out at you when you look at their bios or their profiles listen to their self introductions do they highlight big numbers awards followers dollar signs imagine the first day of school and you see your teacher for the first time imagine that’s what you hear from them I’ve taught 5,000 students in my career or here’s a folder of all my awards does that resonate with you should that resonate with you imagine a parent at a birthday party who tells everyone the thing that they’re most proud of with their parenting is the number of nappies they’ve changed parents don’t collect numbers neither do teachers or nurses or bus drivers baristas social workers paramedics firefighters the people that hold up our society the true worth of us are daily acts of dedication that don’t need a scoreboard and this outlook is shared by the best leaders in our communities the best leaders are the ones who have the ambition to be more than the numbers they’ve accumulated it’s not wrong to measure progress or to celebrate success things like money and awards and followers these are not dirty words but they are toxic when we worship them when we sacrifice more important things like resilience or human connection or kindness just to move the numbers a little bit higher in the open interconnected world we live in today we have the means to exploit each other’s fears and desires to step on and over someone else to sell more to get more famous we have seen so many of these examples it is no longer a mystery how to do it it is a straightforward path it doesn’t take courage or integrity it doesn’t require character or work to bring out the best in ourselves and each other you have chosen not to do that to preserve what you believe is something worthwhile in yourself and the world around you I ask you to keep to this higher ambition and to devote work to that ambition the easiest thing to do in life is to grow big in the eyes of others the harder more worthwhile task one that will actually sustain us is to grow better in ways that numbers cannot capture if we choose to grow then grow by the depth of our relationships the kindness we show the impact we make on someone’s life let that be the growth we chase

Date: 2025-01-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7457151203483323656?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 234: Teleporter, robots and a 10-year-old boy

what can a 10 year old boy and Star Trek teach us about complex life questions I’ll share with you a lesson I learned yesterday from my son it was one of those situations where I think children should rule the world I was telling him about this video a few days ago by author Jason Pargin he was talking about the Star Trek teleporter they can teleport you from one location to another far far away he post a question would any of us use this teleporter knowing the way it works it does not physically transport you it deconstructs you down to your atoms and then rebuilds you using atoms on the other end and then you continue your life at the other end would you use this teleporter I asked my son this and he said he’s quite attached to his atoms so no he wouldn’t like to be in anything like that and I expected him to say that because I think most of us would say that but I then told him about a follow up video I saw from the author Willow Heath who posed a similar question based on the video game called Soma she says that in that game a character is residing in a robot’s body that he doesn’t want uh in the research lab he doesn’t want to be in so this character is told that his consciousness will be uploaded onto a computer on a rocketship and this rocketship would blast off to go to this perfect heaven world and live out the rest of his life in this heaven however as he was uploaded into the rocket’s computer and the rocket blast off to go to this heaven the character is still standing there in the robot’s body watching the rocket blast off so the version that was uploaded is a copy of him and he still lives in the robot’s body left behind so I told my son this scenario and asked how he would respond and to my surprise he said that he’d be happy to be involved in this because someone is happy going off to live a life in the perfect heaven world and I was surprised based on his first answer with the teleporter because I wouldn’t want to be stuck left behind and I thought that he wouldn’t either but as I talk to him more I come to realise he is not weighed down by the expectations of being in a robot or being in a research lab he just knows that he’s safe not being deconstructed down his atoms and he heard someone has a happy ending in this heaven world and that makes him happy even if that someone isn’t him and I realized that my adult brain is weighed down by all these expectations about myself that I don’t wanna be a robot I don’t wanna be stuck in the research lab even though I haven’t been told in this story what that involves I just know that I want to blast off to this perfect world and live a perfect life again having no idea what that means I’ve just been told it’s perfect I’m way down by what I believe is a body that I should have what I believe is the world I should be in and what I see other people have that I believe I deserve and there may be some justification some valid justification that I deserve those things but I can’t do anything about most of them and the time and energy that I spend stewing on these things is time and energy I don’t spend building and enjoying the life I actually live and most of all I can’t enjoy the fact that other people enjoy things I don’t have I’m stuck only with happiness in this narrow confines of my own little world that I have constructed for myself so today I’m going to take my son’s advice and think about what adventures I can have if I have an interesting robot body in an interesting research lab and what life I can have what about you what are you going to do with the life you have today

Date: 2025-01-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7456627262474013970?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 233: a dad with a microphone.

the hardest thing about being a male on social media sharing emotional growth at the same time trying to be a role model for my boys is to resist the temptation of using this microphone in front of me to paint a picture of a hero’s triumph over adversity my kids don’t need me to be a hero they just need me to be their dad

Date: 2025-01-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7456047604216925448?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 364: my broken toe

I broke my toe today it hurts like crazy I jammed it against the wall and obviously I’m not happy about the injury or the pain but it’s a good opportunity to bring up something important about the practice of gratitude when I have an injury like this I need people’s help to get back home and to take over some tasks so I can get off my feet and to change the scheduled activities in the next couple of days if I approach this injury with a grumpy negative attitude the chances of people helping me will be much less than if I take it as an opportunity to appreciate and to grow the relationship with other people people want to help and recognising and acknowledging that makes a painful situation much easier to deal with for everyone gratitude can lift my relationships with people around me so today I’m grateful for supportive people when I’m injured

Date: 2025-01-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7455667752863419668?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 232: Is social media worth it? I reflect on what is the real value of social media to me and the world around me.

is social media worth it we have so much work to clean it up with issues of addiction and privacy and bullying and mental health problems is it worth having or is it like tobacco something that we should just get rid of if we can in my own personal experience I believe it is worth it if we didn’t have YouTube and Facebook and WhatsApp and lot of other apps I wouldn’t be able to share my life and the life of my boys with my mum overseas or to continue to connect with my dad’s content that he left behind after he died or have the richness of my relationship with the rest of my family and my close friends the work is now to solve all the public social media problems so that good can emerge as a rule rather than the exception is there a difference between my connection on social media with my family compared to people in the public like you yes there is a huge difference but there is also something that is the same I get to say to you as a fellow human being that I care about you whether you’re here looking for distraction from struggling to pay your bills or you’re the richest person in the world but still searching on social media for what’s missing for you I can say to you because social media exists that I care about you you are not alone because we’re all human beings and we belong together yes social media is worth it because you are worth it and although I’m limited in my power to help you you have unlimited power to help yourself the reason you help yourself is because somewhere out there is someone waiting for you to hear from you that you care about them they too are worth it and in your hand right now is a phone and social media and the power for you to be someone that’s more than yourself

Date: 2025-01-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7455514305618775317?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Balancing emotional triggers

IMAGE

Date: 2025-01-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7455200987272252692?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 363: my crooked tooth.

today I’m looking at my crooked front tooth seeing if it survived all the sweets from Christmas New Year I’ve had this crooked tooth since I was a teenager from recklessly smashing into a gate face first while riding my bike there was a time when I was looking for all sorts of ways to correct it finding out about latest dental procedures and technologies only to find that none of them fixes the problem as I wish what really solved the problem in the end was the slow change of mindset learning to be comfortable with my appearance and engaging with loving and supportive people around me on the way I look what I’m trying to say is that a lot of times we turn to quick fixes using products or services or promises of miracle technologies and all of them can improve our lives in some way but they can also distract us from things that really solve problems for us like acceptance and self development and relationship building today I’m grateful for what my crooked tooth reminds me of in my life

Date: 2025-01-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7454809441305677074?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 231: Putting away the old.

today I’m putting away the Christmas tree it’s New Year’s Day and every New Year we hope to put away the old and welcome in the new but very few things are really truly old in 11 months I’ll be putting out this same old tree again so it’s old and new at the same time the challenge is the storage how many things am I holding on to that I might use in the future and happiness in today’s life is almost all about how much storage space we have have so much stuff at home and in the office what should I be keeping it’s the same for relationships how many do I have to maintain and is there enough room for relationships I really want so what should I walk away from what do I keep what about you what are you doing on the first day of the New Year what are you leaving behind in 2024 and what are you keeping in 2025 and more importantly who’s helping you

Date: 2024-12-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7454472188062649618?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
New Year’s Eve message 2024 from Brisbane Australia

As we end 2024 I’ll leave you with this message you would have found throughout the year that you’ve had many problems only a fraction of which you can actually solve and you would also have had many opportunities and only a few you can devote your time to chasing It is when you let go of problems you cannot solve and opportunities that are too far fetch for you to chase let the focus on your life as it truly is that will flood your life with joy

Date: 2024-12-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7454141531830734101?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 230: The Joy of Unfulfilled Wishes.

have you made your New Year wishes yet I asked my son for 2025 if he had one wish to come true what would that be he said if he has one wish he would wish for three wishes so he can make two wishes on anything he wants and then do it again and why when I asked him what he wanted for his two real wishes he rattle off something so quickly that I didn’t catch it something about Minecraft Redstones and then he ran off to play to do exactly what he said he wished I wish I had his energy and his optimism I sometimes think wishes are wasted on the young I’ve been trying to recall what my wishes were when I was his age I can’t remember I wonder if I wasted them would my 10 year old self be happy with me if he met me today I’ve worked in aged care for 20 years and I’ve known many people at their end of life some with only days to live and when you ask them what they wish for at their stage of life the answer is almost universally that they wish they had lived the life they wanted rather than the life someone else wanted for them I hear that so many times that I’m starting to suspect that the purpose of life is to collect wishes that end up not coming true still Happy New Year I wish the best for you in 2025 I hope all of your wishes come true knowing probably not all of them will but maybe there’s something even better than having all of your wishes come true and that is the joy of having someone to share the wishes that fall short

Date: 2024-12-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7453726274708573461?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Late Night with Seth Meyers#cardsnotteleprompters

this is such a good question to remember because for all the things that are good and working in my life at some stage someone will come along and they’ll ask the question why not this better thing and this person will almost always never tell me about when this thing doesn’t work properly or about all the other things I’ll need in order to get this thing to work or all the other things that this thing will take away that will never come back so I think in the future when somebody comes and ask me to replace something that is good and working in my life I will say why a teleprompter when I have cards

Date: 2024-12-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7453696449784614165?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Where do you learn to find yourself?
let’s get one thing straight I post here mainly for me not for anyone else so that I can learn in this complex messed up thing called me what to show people and how to show it what to say and how to say it and what is mine to keep to myself and what is yours to share with you we’ve got to learn this from somewhere so the question isn’t why I post content the question is if YOU’RE not where YOU learning all of this?

Date: 2024-12-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7453397157454925077?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 228 – Three versions of my 2024

It’s time to wrap up 2024 and I’ll start with the version that social media likes. So many things in 2024 was tough. My sleep apnea is getting worse and my joints are aching more than ever. I feel old and my mom’s health is declining too, and I feel helpless to fix it. All these just makes me miss my dad even more. I think of him everyday, even though it’s been 6 years since he died. Very few people understand me and no one, no one sees the full me. I’m alone. Some mornings I get so depressed or so anxious, I can’t even function. That’s the dramatic version. And next is the version I like to do. So many things in 2024 have been wonderful. My kids are thriving and I’m grateful watching them grow throughout the year. I love my supportive family, my siblings especially. They come through time and time again this year. My work gives me such a sense of purpose. My clients and my students, they inspire me everyday. My social media is growing and I meet so many kind and supportive people. That’s my glass half full version. And lastly, I’ll give you the version that social media can’t tolerate. Also, 2024 was pretty routine. I got up in the morning, I went to work, I scroll on my phone, I have my meals, I watch t. V. I go to sleep. Day after day is mostly basically the same most days. Nothing too exciting, nothing too terrible. I talk to people, sometimes I’m by myself, sometimes I deal with bills and traffic and home chores. Overall, it’s just life. All three of these versions of my 2024 are simultaneously true. And no video or series of videos can capture the full story. And that’s okay. Social media now, at least in its current version, can’t do a good job of presenting the full gamut of our lives. Social media likes us to be consistent in our style and our tone. It doesn’t like us to be three dimensional and show different parts of us in different ways, which again is fine. But I leave you with the message to not let what you say at any particular moment define the richness of your life. And don’t let what you see at any particular moment rob you of the nuances of the world and the people that you come across. Thank you for engaging with me throughout 2024 and all the different parts of me look forward to spending 2025 with you.

Date: 2024-12-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7453059831868525842?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 362: Tub of Play Balls

I have this tub of balls at the top of my staircase do you know what my kids like to do they can’t resist doing that and I’m happy that they do it even though they have to clean it up all afterwards I keep this tub beside the top of my stairs precisely so that they can keep doing it because there will come a time when they decide that the fun is not worth the hard work of cleaning up and that’s when I know I have to work to help them with their growing up it’s a natural part of our growing up that when things get hard the first thing we get rid of in our lives is the fun stuff it’s easy to get rid of the fun stuff but when the hard times end the fun stuff that we got rid of won’t come back we can always rely on the hard stuff being a part of our lives we don’t have to work to keep the hard stuff but we have to work to keep the fun stuff especially when things are hard so that there’s something to live for when the hard times end so today I’m grateful that I have this tub of play balls at the top of my stairs do you have a tub of balls at the top of your staircase

Date: 2024-12-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7452684053926415623?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 361: Boxing Day Evening

tonight I’m grateful just for the normal sounds of family in the evening

Date: 2024-12-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7452258962247830804?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Christmas evening.

it’s evening on Christmas Day Merry Christmas I’m just getting over Christmas lunch and I’m taking a moment to remind you to get off social media because it probably won’t enhance your Christmas I know that’s a very strange thing for me to use social media to remind you to get off social media but here’s what I mean social media is set up to show you highlights and lowlights of people’s lives that means most not all but most things that you see are either wonderful things about celebrations or people being very sad at Christmas because of the pressures of Christmas if you think about your day though you will realise that a normal day is not like that it’s just boring everyday stuff things going a bit right and a bit wrong but mostly not attention grabbing and that’s a good day because you can’t be in elevated emotional states all day either laughing at highlights that’s happening to you or lowlights that’s happening to you the joy of a day like today is that you’re not in those elevated states and you enjoy a normal boring relaxing day social media is algorithmically and commercially and psychologically incapable of fill filling your feed with representation of such a normal day so if you keep on being here um including watching this video you are going to miss out on your normal relaxing day and that’s what I mean so I’m going to get off now and rejoin my boring relaxing day do you want to join me

Date: 2024-12-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7452165158043979016?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Christmas morning

Just taking a moment as I finish attending my Christmas morning service and now moving on to Christmas lunch. Like to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and I hope that the day brings you peace and joy.

Date: 2024-12-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7451915726371179793?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Christmas Eve. Dear Santa, We left a cookie for you and a carrot for Rudolf.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Date: 2024-12-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7451475027645484308?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 227 – Last Christmas.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special everywhere I go this Christmas this song Last Christmas is playing this song was released in 1984 when I was 15 it’s so long ago I was a Wham and George Michael fan but back then which 15 year old wasn’t the opening lines talk about a heartbreak of us giving somebody our heart and that somebody giving it away when I was 15 I thought the song was about heartbreak but now I know it’s about something more but being open to heartbreak and being able to move on and to have the courage to stand up and love again once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye tell me baby do you recognise me well it’s been a year it doesn’t surprise me strange how long a year feels and how different it is when I was 15 compared to now when I’m 55 remember when a year seems like such a long time for a relationship that I have to rush to catch someone’s eye or panic as to whether they recognise me from the last time but that changes with age age has taught me that if it’s meant to be it will be and relationships are measured across a lifetime not a year happy Christmas I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying I love you I meant it now I know what a fool I’ve been but if you kiss me now I know you fool me again why are there so many love songs about being a fool or being cheated on isn’t it obvious that when we write a I love you note and we wrap it up and we send it we know what a fool we are but we do it anyway funny thing about pain it’s not something we humans are built to avoid we’re built to love and to connect even when every rational thought in us tell us we are fools to do so a crowded room friends with tired eyes I’m hiding from you and your soul of ice my God I thought you were someone to rely on me me I guess I was a shoulder to cry on and that’s why we do it for a shoulder to cry on no matter how much of a fool we think we are in a crowded room with tired eyes we still reach out for someone to rely on and for shoulder to cry on a face on a lover with a fire in his heart a man undercover but you tore me apart now I found a real love you’ll never fool me again Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year to save me from tears give it to someone special we’ve been singing this song for 40 years and probably will sing it for another 40 years because every time we sing it we are reminded that love in all of its messiness is the best part of the human condition we keep telling the story about someone we gave our heart away to last year but the glory and the joy in us being human beings is that we are searching still this Christmas and we haven’t given up no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that we have Merry Christmas bless you for your capacity to love and for being someone special brave enough to have tears

Date: 2024-12-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7450855122965499157?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 226 – Sad Christmas.

This Christmas not everyone will be waking up to gifts under the Christmas tree to laughter and embrace of loved ones and to the joyful sound of carols some of you are here scrolling to escape the loneliness the heartbreak the pain to push aside those bills you don’t know how you going to pay longing for the voice of the loved one you lost that you’re never going to hear from again and trying to figure out among all of this noise what in the world you’re looking for the one thing you will not be this Christmas is alone one thing you will not have this Christmas is no one to wish you a Merry Christmas and to respond if you reach out so Merry Christmas may you find courage for your struggles and comfort in knowing you are not alone

Date: 2024-12-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7450467640541252871?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 225: annual legal check-ups

today I’m going to talk about lawyers it’s not everyone’s favourite people I know but let’s see if I can get you to at least show lawyers some kindness by the end of this video my thought starts with my curiosity as to why we don’t do annual legal checkups same way we do for our health and our finance it’s the end of the year and I’ve just done my annual health check up with my family doctor and I’ve also done a week ago a review of my finance and my taxes with my account even though normally we do that in June my question is why is it we don’t do the same thing for my legal affairs with my lawyer or any lawyer nearly every aspect of my daily life involve laws and regulations from arrangements with electricians and plumbers and gardeners who come to do service at my house to consumer issues with the stuff that I buy to um properly issues with my neighbours safety protections for the children that I encounter and work with and so on and even copyright with photos and videos that I’m posting to the contract I click on every time I go to a website so they all carry some set of legal rights and responsibilities and protections and just like my health and finance my legal affairs is deeply woven into my life everyday and they’re worth reviewing with someone who is an expert on laws but unfortunately the legal system is very event triggered rather than proactive and preventative we have to wait until a major issue arise like a dispute or a lawsuit or a sudden change in life before we go and reach out to a lawyer but what if we made legal reviews a regular part of our lives instead of waiting for emergencies to force us to do it so if you imagine if we do that for our health and finance they only reach out during emergencies that means we do our own health care and only go to health professionals when we need a surgery or we do our own finance and only see a finance professional when we go bankrupt you know what a mess our life would be and society would be a mess as well that’s why both health and finance sectors have checkups and preventative planning to keep our lives in order well at least as orderly as we possibly can make it so to me it makes sense then to have something similar like an annual legal checkup it’s a scheduled calm meeting to review contracts and agreements and insurance policies and and other issues that we may not be aware of but an expert might like a copyright of photos and and property rights with our neighbours but the legal system is not set up that way and lawyers as a profession don’t offer expertise for annual checkups like GPs or financial advisors and accounts and that creates a problem for us as members of the public but I think it creates even more problems for people in the legal profession itself lawyers are commonly painted as enforcers or villains because they spend their time dealing with distress cases instead of the orderly maintenance of affairs to keep people’s well being legally as the law is meant to do most lawyers I come across are good people but they don’t get to be so because of the cases they have to handle I have family members and friends who are lawyers and they all go to law school inspired to serve people to uphold justice to contribute something meaningful to society but in practice they’re often caught up in high pressure situations and endless amount of paperwork they don’t get much time to guide clients to better futures they’re too busy putting out today’s fire I don’t know any lawyer who wouldn’t love to hear that They’ve help their clients build better lives through well thought out legal actions and even the phrase legal action is already now synonymous with uh court litigation which is a pity and doesn’t reflect the role that the legal system or lawyers play in our society so because of all this I think about preventative measures for legal problems why do we have checkups like we do for health health checkups prevents hospital from being overrun with emergencies wouldn’t it be nice uh for lawyers to get to do what they went to law school inspired to do so what do you think do you think we’ll have a better world if we have annual legal checkups let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-12-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7450378343905545492?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 360: Binge at the Bookstore

Honestly I think if we just cancel everything and go binge at a bookstore The world will be a better place What do you say?

Date: 2025-12-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7450004852203080981?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Hanging ornaments and the meaning of Christmas. Reflection 224.

my home is decorated for Christmas now here’s an ornament I’m putting up there’s one each on the tree for every member of the family so every year around this time I ask the same question have we gone too far with the decorations should we instead be thinking about the deeper meaningful stuff like what Christmas is about the birth of Christ and bringing goodwill to humankind and so on in our home we just stick to our routines of putting up lights and hanging ornaments and playing Christmas music and not many big conversations because it is in these uh little routines of um finding which branch to put the ornaments or straightening out the tree or humming to the music that’s where I find how to live my life and to be a father and to keep my house and from these is where all life’s grand purpose is built on so I hope you have a little ornament on your Christmas tree put up

Date: 2024-12-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7449600159245208839?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

Dimsum mealtime

Date: 2024-12-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7449294328691772692?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Join me in this week’s Student Life Unplugged podcast.

all men in Russia have to serve you know in in the army for like one year if they’re like from 18 till 27 if you are not studying in the university or if you are not employed in the government structure you just do some basic training and you settle for four or one years to come yes and like now especially you know like if like a boy serves in the army they can forced you know him to sign a contract to go to Ukraine so for a young man like me that’s why dangerous to stay inside of the country and I’ve got some friends of mine who are very scared about their studies because if you don’t finish in the university or if you are not currently studying in one Aah there’s a high chance of you actually being forced to go down

Date: 2024-12-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7448868432637857041?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Social Media Support and Moving On. Reflection 223.

I am always doing things for other people but they never do anything for me today I’m going to talk about these two very common comments we find on social media these two phrases I myself use all the time in day to day conversations it is so that I can get attention for my frustrations for these very frustrating and common relationship situations where I try very hard but I’m not getting treated the way that I believe I deserve I need to vent this in a safe space or with people who can support me who can validate this frustration we all need this and by getting support and having my emotions validated it helps me calm down and move on social media is sometimes amazing at doing this to get us attention from others strangers from around the world who feel the same way so we don’t feel alone and people could share in the same frustrations we can get validated for emotions that we feel these emotions that to a large extent is not healthy to try and suppress or to try and control this though is also where social media can become a double edge sword while it is good and sometimes amazing at getting us needed attention for our frustrations it is bad sometimes terrible at moving us on from that attention if I’m talking to people around me close to me and I vent my frustration after I vent and I feel better for sharing it the people that I share it with would help me move on to help me question maybe it is not true that people NEVER do things for me it’s just that I don’t notice when I’m angry maybe I’m not ALWAYS doing things for other people to realise sometimes I am selfish too and from these we find common grounds so the areas to work on and that helps me improve my relationships and improve my situation but social media isn’t made to help me with that boring bit of moving on social media needs attention if I move on it is boring the platform won’t push it and people don’t wanna hear about it it is extremely difficult to make moving on interesting and I’ve tried attention is where people mistreat me attention is when I’m frustrated so social media can keep me entrenched in what otherwise may have been just a temporary frustration so social media as it currently is does not help us with the question what now you might have encountered this for instance after you see a video of something that you feel very closely connected to there isn’t a video that magically pops up next telling you what to do how after you have an exchange in comments and you feel better that other people support your feelings isn’t a person who then comes in and makes a comment that helps you work out what do I do next I have this experience all the time social media is great at getting us attention for our issues but it’s not built at the right time to help us find out what to move on to so what do we do I think recognising what social media can do and what it can’t do it’s liberating to be able to vent when we need to and to get validation for for what we are venting about but then we need to take the next steps offline to talk to a friend who might know us well or to journal so that we can reread that journal later on when we’re calmer or to seek professional help if something keeps repeating or join focus groups that focus on solutions social media have shown itself to have a function I don’t believe we should shut it down but we can use it wisely

Date: 2024-12-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7448259819682680080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
If my life is turned into a movie, the quote from the main character would be, “Be still and let happiness find you.” #moviequote #happiness

Sometimes I imagine my life turned into a movie. A story of my grand adventure to find happiness. What would the main character say?

Date: 2024-12-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7447690191696907537?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m grateful for doing laundry with my family. Gratitude 358

today I’m grateful for laundry one of the ingredients to a lifetime of happiness is to be able to build a sense of gratitude into simple everyday routines that we can do with family that can last a lifetime enjoy your laundry

Date: 2024-12-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7447135265036012816?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @✦ Licore ✦ Will you help me change the world?

okay let’s do a poll for followers of this account if I create a discord server for content that’s similar to this account on kindness and gratitude and community and growth on hope and a positive future for my kids will you join will you help me change the world

Date: 2024-12-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7447062456465165584?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Supermarkets and community. What does it mean to be a part of a community? #coles #woolworths #costofliving Reflection 221.

just came back from grocery shopping at my local Coles supermarket and outside the store I saw this massive sign that says Coles proud to be part of the community now if you’re in Australia you’d find it very hard not to be cynical when you consider the recent controversy where Coles and Woolworths were allegedly misleading customers with their pricing I mean how can you claim to be part of the community when you’re allegedly taking advantage of the community for profit it makes me mad and part of me thinks why can’t we just kick them out of the community what does being part of the community mean at the minimum doesn’t it mean that we’re not harming or deceiving people in the community around us when big market supermarkets grow the small family run businesses like butchers and delis and local shops they disappear they can’t compete so we lose a vital part of the community through this process and we’d want something that is replacing them to have some sense of community don’t we but then again community is messy I’ve had neighbours in the past who are not very community minded they have loud late night parties and they don’t maintain their yards they park their cars in other people’s lawns but as annoying as they are I can’t just make them disappear they’re still a part of the neighborhood whether I like it or not and maybe that’s a good thing because if it’s easy to remove someone because I don’t like them was to stop someone from removing me because they don’t like me so Coles itself as I understand it start off started off as a um mum and dad run store in Melbourne more than 100 years ago and so obviously they’ve grown I have my own business and um I’ve had different businesses in the past and some succeed some fail but the ones that succeed they will grow to a stage where they outgrow the values of an individual person or family to take on values of its own and as society we have become very efficient at supporting businesses to grow bigger but terrible at helping them transfer and retain human values so like having a sense of belonging in the community I think society suffers because we don’t support the transfer of those values so what do we do about Coles um we what do we do when neighbours have loud parties I could yell at them and I can try to shame them or call the police uh those of you who’ve tried to do this with neighbours you don’t like will know that they rarely solve the underlying problem because often it just leads to more bitterness and more spite so the solution is somewhere else and it’s not quick and easy living together it’s not quick and easy and here is where I have to call myself out so am I a hypocrite because I just shopped at Coles I continued to shop at Coles and so I I rely on them for supplies after work when there’s nowhere else open and um and I can’t employ people to and give them wages to find and carry the stuff that I need and I may be mad at them for their behaviour but I’m also a part of this very messy and complicated and far from perfect relationship and maybe the real challenge is to figure out how we can engage in between individuals and with organisations and how to encourage better behaviour how can we hold each other accountable without being spiteful and how do we recognise all of our pains including cost of living and including our pains within businesses but also recognise our contributions to the community that we belong to

Date: 2024-12-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7446279299323268369?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Going all in on social media. Building a life and career as a social media influencer. #socialmedia Reflection 220.

this is a question to all the million and billion dollar social media stars my kids may one day tell me that they want to be just like you and they wanna go all in on social media what do I tell them you see if they tell me they want to be teacher or a doctor or an engineer I know exactly what that life entails and impact they’ll have and the satisfaction and happiness that comes from that life they’ll be able to educate and heal or to build things that no matter how hard the work is they’ll be able to stand back and find happiness and meaning from that work what in your view is the happiness and satisfaction from a life devoted to a career in social media is yes I can see the power that comes from getting attention to influence trends and to potentially earn money in different ways I know you can later channel that fame and that fortune into building something else that you want but is that the point we’ve had social media for a lot of years now and the pattern of success stories for social media creators is that they move on they create a life somewhere else those who are still around use their social media presence to again build something meaningful somewhere else is that the whole point of social media success is it to gain a platform to go build something else somewhere else if so wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to go and build something else first instead of social media first I’m not trying to troll I’m a father who’s searching from a genuine for genuine answer from you who have experienced that I don’t I just need one story one example to show my children that going all in on social media can itself produce a meaningful impact without treating it as a launch pad for something else if there is such a story I love to hear it let me know if there isn’t shouldn’t my advice to children be build something meaningful first and then use social media as a tool later on or best do social media on the side for fun while investing most of your time in building something that you really want that can be the basis of your happiness and satisfaction what would you say to my kids

Date: 2024-12-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7445945135029914896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Being yelled at. Gratitude 357

today my gratitude is for being yelled at this morning someone yelled at me for turning the lights on too brightly in a function room uh when I thought I was just turning it on normally I’m not saying that I’m saint I can be grateful for everything I’m not saying that I am grateful at the time when it happened when the emotions were running high but now that the emotions have settled down I look at it this way it can be a blessing in life to go through never being yelled at never being wrongly accused never dealing with the messy relationship issues that comes from being yelled at so now that it has happened what can I gain from it I can learn something about my own response to stress which by the way was an ideal this morning and something that I can work on I can learn something about the person who yelled at me who is someone I consider a friend and doesn’t normally do this so is there something troubling him or is there something between us so that’s something to sort out that’s part of the relationship between us I suppose I shouldn’t say that I’m grateful that I was yelled at more accurately I’m grateful for the lessons and the opportunities to deal with this common life event and come out better for it

Date: 2024-12-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7445624196538912017?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Simply be the fish they are. Reflection 219.

got more fish for my aquarium today walking into the store is hard not to be drawn into the display fishes they’re bright colourful mesmerizing wonder if they like being on display all the time here are the swordtails I got they’re in my tank now swimming freely I wonder if they realise they no longer need to dazzle this is the home now a place where they’ll be cared for no matter what every fish should have home like that where they can simply be the fish they are

Date: 2024-12-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7444866902465219856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
To all students… trust your voice. #studentvoice Reflection 218

will all this studying and exams and late nights really pay off what if it doesn’t what if I fail will I let everyone down will I let myself down what will happen to me how do I even know if I’m making the right choices what if I’ve already messed everything up it’s very stressful all of these questions and who do you ask if you don’t know the answers who do you listen to your best friend your coach your parents your teacher or your baby sister maybe or your dog or do you listen to people in videos like this one people like me who talk like we know what we’re talking about I don’t have the answers for you I can’t because the life you lead is not one that belongs to me and I’m too old and I’m too tired to get the answers for you but you’re not you still have the energy I can see it in the way you fight I can hear it in the way you scream even though I see you try so much to hide your scream by hiding in your room and keeping silent at the dinner table and because you’re silent people say you have apathy that you’re cynical that you’ve given up you haven’t given up your apathy is the voice of the person inside you screaming out to say you need to be protected you deserve to be protected you were told you would be protected but they didn’t protect you you deserve better let the voice inside you talk it may be scared and that it doesn’t want to say much right now it may feel like it’s lost and will remain lost for some time yet but that voice is yours and you will get better at guiding you someday it will lead you out of this wilderness to a place that is right for you a destination that only you can see only you can reach only you know belongs to you and that voice your voice is not alone you are part of a global community of students who share your struggles your questions and your dreams your voice matters not just for you but for all of us so hold on to that voice learn to trust it and exercise it even if it makes mistakes especially when it makes mistakes find places where you can nurture it where you can be safe and you can be true to that voice forgive those who for now may not understand it and forgive yourself for its imperfections embrace yourself for the beauty of your imperfect voice and one day that voice will rise up to tell your story I can’t wait to hear it tell that story and you will hear how beautiful it is

Date: 2024-12-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7444556755264212241?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Merie The box you are given.

use the box that you’ve given to stand on to reach where you could not reach before

Date: 2024-12-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7444526684612709649?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @your bumhole Here you go! #drawing #art

IMAGE

Date: 2024-12-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7444152020686294273?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Different

IMAGE

Date: 2024-12-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7444088970239167762?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Podcast – Student Life Unplugged

Uni prepares us for work, but sometimes it feels not enough because there are many skills that you know you actually learn while you are getting experience while you’re there for any healthcare role like I think it’s important for patients to trust you like even in the first instant when they see the way that you carry yourself they decide whether you are someone that they trust and I think that it’s scary having to yeah, still uh portray yourself as confident like you know what you are doing. Yuvaanda you you nodding so there’s something familiar everywhere you go you’re just gonna have this concerns right? And sometimes like you just have to do it to know like which one is actually the worst and the best part of being in the job but then if you don’t do it, you know like how are you gonna resolve your anxiety?

Date: 2024-12-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7443961731895807233?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @friendshiptown_ What would your 12 year old self say? #happiness

Unavailable

Date: 2024-12-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7443690942084762881?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Are you confused in this noisy world? Reflection 217

are you confused about living in today’s world I am I’m trying to build a hopeful future for my boys to grow into at the same time learning how to live and grow in this complex noisy world myself so over the past few years I’ve experimented with uh expressing myself on social media I’ve put out loads of content of many different types and I’m searching for what expertise I have that I might contribute to the world What I found is that I don’t have any expertise worth adding to the online space because it just adds to the noise I’m facing this crisis of trust with expertise of all kinds what I see is scientists who are struggling to communicate what they know and what they don’t know business leaders who’s telling me about great products that I don’t need and I don’t want tech people who are telling me about things that they break and then they don’t stick around to clean it up politicians always pointing fingers I’m flooded with comedians who are reducing life to punchlines and there’s always a journalist who complain about the loss of integrity while at the same time they erode that integrity themselves and all of them demand my attention in an unprecedented scale and yet all of them contribute very little to the value of my life while they take away some really precious part of that life so I’ve consumed in the past two years more hours of expert content than what I’ve consumed in the last 50 years of my life and I’ve watched and I’ve listened but it’s hard to pinpoint what in what way that that content have improved my life so instead I’ve been distracted from the simple and meaningful things for instance a healthy routine or my time with my family and my friends those moments in the mornings when I wake up and I look forward to the day and going to bed in peace at the end of the day those are the simple things that uh I seem to be distracted from in my work in education I talk to young people from different parts of the world and those who normally don’t have very loud voices or have recognised expertise and what I find is that young people often understand what is important in life and they know what is meaningful so I find myself preferring to listen to kids and young people than the overwhelming volume of expert people who pretend to know so I know there is value in expertise I build my career on expertise and I know it’s important to maintain expertise for the world to run it’s just that it’s so tiring trying to sort out the experts from the noise in the online spaces so for this video I’m hoping I can find others who are as confused as I am and I’d like to hear from you about your confusion maybe if we are confused together it might help us at least I know I’m not alone and perhaps if we sort of fumble through the confusion and the noise for a bit we’ll be able to move ahead better… together

Date: 2024-12-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7443385996860738823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 216: Dads on YouTube

my dad passed away six years ago he was an engineer and when he retired he took up singing and he created a YouTube channel to teach the world to sing now that he’s gone not a day goes by that his YouTube videos don’t keep us connected to him today I saw a video on TikTok of someone whose dad retired and decided to make YouTube videos to teach the world mathematics she asks people to subscribe to him and he received 13,000 subscribers including me that family has so much joy through TikTok and through YouTube never underestimate our power with a phone and internet in our hands and a heart willing to share everyday millions are being connected in ways we cannot imagine the internet can be a repository of love that never dies I miss my dad but our love will never die as long as his channel remains alive

Date: 2024-12-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7443315274159246612?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Trying to find myself again #creatorsearchinsights

I think I already know how to find myself again but I wanna stay lost for a bit just a little bit longer I kinda like the feeling of not knowing what tomorrow brings where I’ll be next and most of all I want to let the other people who are also lost people I’m supposed to be with for them to find me

Date: 2024-11-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7443016629920845073?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 356: 50 years old.

A very young child asked me today what’s it like being 50 years old I told her it’s like holding a very big book in your head with a lot of stories and if you live your life well you will look back fondly and be grateful for all the stories regardless of whether they were happy or sad but one thing about all the stories there will be one moment in one story that will glow more than the others and you will trade everything you have give up everything you own just to live that moment again and the reason you do it is so you can be beside the person who was with you just at that moment you will live your life to find your moment and the person who will be with you at that moment and you won’t know it when it happens but from that point on you will live the rest of your life having a glow that will forever shine inside you

Date: 2024-11-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442974248265714961?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
The debate on minimum age for social media in Australia.

The Australian government have just enacted a social media minimum age law. I expect you’re seeing this message because you are interested in this. I think it’s an important issue that all of us should think about carefully. There are credible experts that are better than I to give you information. So in this video, I won’t add my opinion and potentially fuel the online rage. Talk to me in the comments if you’d like to know the sources I trust. The main point I want to make is that in topics like this, there will be voices online who will manipulate your outrage to get attention. They often use tactics like stirring a fear or oversimplifying arguments to make you mad at someone or cherry picking facts. These are designed for attention and distract us from meaningful discussions. If you like to have a better understanding of these tactics and how to manage them, check out my blog. Let’s have conversations that move us forward.

Date: 2024-11-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442951134530080021?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 8

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442762552309779713?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 215: Enough

Is this video enough for you? Is the next video enough? Being enough doesn’t come from chasing what you don’t have. It comes from valuing what you already do.

Date: 2024-11-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442666046437297409?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 7

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442619511548677377?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 353: Getting along.

today I received a message about a Black Friday sale at the aquarium and when I got there there were a lot of people so it was very confusing but without any guidance everyone started to naturally form a queue and help each other to maintain order and in the two hours I was there everybody got along and I’m telling you all of this to remind you that uh human beings are decent and we’re programmed to get along but when people get along nobody pulls out their phone to record and post it unlike except people like me so when you’re online looking at all the negative stuff that people post about remember that the vast majority of human kindness goes unrecorded and you’re only looking at the very narrow slice of human experience keep your faith in the natural kindness of human beings

Date: 2024-11-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442294418121444609?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 6

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7442244209685384449?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 352: Sandwich making.

today I’m grateful for the simple act of sandwich making in a lot of eastern ancient traditions like the ones that I was raised in there are many simple rituals like tea making that can be a form of meditation where the rituals is an opportunity to bring attention to our breath and to our bodies and to our movements the essential elements that brings us peace and happiness I don’t have to do that just for tea making the simple daily rituals like sandwich making can bring that too I’m sure whatever routine you’re engaging now the same peace and happiness can come through them

Date: 2024-11-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7441881119391288597?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 214: where is he going with this?

I know what you’re thinking I know you’re thinking how can he know he’s just some random guy on TikTok well I know because TikTok delivered this to you and you’re still watching now you’re thinking he’s annoying I’ll just scroll off well go on you can’t do it can you I know you can’t do it I wouldn’t have made this video if I didn’t know and TikTok wouldn’t have shown this to you you’re stuck scrolling and you know you’re stuck but you still can’t get off and you have to bear with idiots like me trying to mess with your head and TikTok has the gall to shove this in front of your face but it’s not all a loss right sometimes when you’re scrolling you come across useful and entertaining stuff it’s not all rubbish but it’s just so tiring just so so tiring and you wish it wasn’t so tiring and if you stop then what there’s nothing to do and you just be right back here again right look if you made it this far you’re probably not going to stop anytime soon take care of yourself in the next few hours and when you get a chance to be off screen just think about this video it’s not your fault you’re stuck it’s not I know you can get out because I’ve been stuck and I got out I know you can find a way in the meantime I’m here for you like Domingo says hey man I’m here well at least I thought that’s what he said thanks for stopping listening just be kind to yourself

Date: 2024-11-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7441803163822312725?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 5

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7441416612982295828?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 4

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7441416018733305108?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 351: Blue skies and green trees.

today I’m grateful for blue skies and green trees and the awareness and ability to stop and appreciate these things

Date: 2024-11-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7441144602528107777?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
finding purpose is a lifelong journey how do you approach it?

IMAGE

Date: 2024-11-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7440816804710108437?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 213: What a positive world looks like.

hi if you’re new to my account I’m a father who’s working to build a positive world for my kids to grow into what I do is to reflect on what this positive world looks like I don’t have everything figured out but I figured out a few things so I’ll share those with you one glaring observation is that our world is led by people who are hyper competitive and attention seeking and they have a really narrow focus on fame and on fortune and these traits dominate many areas including politics and corporate leadership in technology and entertainment in sports unfortunate things that these traits have led us to a world that is divided and is disillusioned and we are disconnected from basic human pursuits like happiness liberty and community there’s no indication that these qualities of hypercompetitiveness and crave for attention and fame and fortune that they will lead us out of the fractured world that are we living in now I choose to move away from these extreme traits and to uh focus on uh instead collaboration community and on emotional regulation and on humble and meaningful effort and even before that first and foremost I prioritize civility and kindness I still believe in competition but only as a way to improve and grow together I can see value and things like attention when it can connect us to deeper values like our well being and our sense of belonging I can respect fame and fortune when they serve a purpose that’s greater than themselves so I put all this thought out there and I promote them in what I do I believe we can build the world that’s better if we build it together and if you do something similar in your life what do you think what values do you live your life by let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-11-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7440598694690344193?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I’m Here to Listen – Day 2

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7440339509297810709?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

I’m Here to Listen – Day 1

Talk to me, here to listen

Date: 2024-11-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7440028557524356372?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 212: Why go viral? I’d really like to know.

You know how you dream of your video going viral? Why?

Date: 2024-11-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7440017718302002450?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 350: Light of a new day.

the time to find myself is at break of dawn when I know that I have endured the dark night but the light of the new day is still not clear this morning I’m grateful that no matter how lost I am over the night I know that the light will come and I will find myself again

Date: 2024-11-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7439984589914787092?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @nadnerb1998 About emotions and social media political content. @Jeff Jackson @Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

I’m going to do a commentary on Jeff Jackson’s TikTok presence and talk about the nuances surrounding positive and negative content online this morning I saw a post from AOC in the US and I responded to it by asking genuinely a question what is a positive role model online for a politician and I got this useful comment referring me to Jeff Jackson so for disclosure I am commenting as an outsider living in Australia who consumes general news coming out of the U S but I care greatly about what content young people get exposed to especially because my kids will grow up in this online world that we’re creating before today I only have a vague notion who Jeff Jackson is I believe he got in trouble on social media for making some comments about the TikTok ban and I don’t know anything else about him but for the last hour I have gone through his account and I viewed 20 of his latest videos and a scattering of the rest and I made some notes as I did it he seems to be a ethical politician he shows some respect for the branches of governments and for his role in it he talks rationally and in general he seems to be a nice guy but the question to me is is his account and his content suitable for my kids if they are at voting age and unfortunately for me the answer is no when I go through his videos he delivers a lot of good information about how government works he give details that are useful for people that are going through emergencies like the flood in his state and he offers facts to counter conspiracies and he shows uh enthusiasm for his work in government so I come out of all of that having a really positive view of him and I appreciate the information that is in his content but what is the primary emotions that I’m left with over the last hour it is outrage and despair I’m outraged at the political corruption he’s telling me about at the Commercial Interest in elections he’s telling me about at uh what he calls fake anger crowd in Congress at um the right flank of the federal government at the Supreme Court I don’t like his political opponent um this person by name of um Dan Bishop never heard of Dan Bishop before today but I don’t like him I don’t like the speaker of the house I really don’t like it from what I’ve heard so I feel outraged and I feel the despair because I’m left with these emotions and there’s nowhere for me to go with it there’s no voting I can do there’s no election coming up but the content is still there so the only place I can go is the comment section of his videos and that’s where I went but do you think coming out of reading the comment section do I have less despair and outrage or do I have more there’s no one responsible for my emotions except me not Jeff Jackson not people in this comment section but it doesn’t change the fact that I have them and now it has to go somewhere somehow it will find a place to go and it probably won’t be in my therapist room where it’s supposed to go because today I have no appointments so these emotions will seep into the next video I watch or you’ll go into circles around me my family my community my workplace now it’s probably not fair to lump all this on Jeff Jackson and I’m sorry I had to use him as an example it is not his problem alone and it’s not yours or my problem alone he’s a problem for all of us but it is a problem we cannot face if we don’t admit we have it so what is the point then of this video besides fanning more outrage and more despair my message is to young people today and for my kids when they grow old enough that our solutions are in our families and in our communities not on TikTok and not over the screen the first step to resolving disagreements and differences to solve the big problems of political corruption of federal government and of the Supreme Court the solutions start with us first learning together how to small how to solve small problems who is taking out the trash tonight who’s paying for drinks tonight and how to tell my friends they just said something I don’t like our solutions are in the fabric of the community around us and our communities are weak right now but we can do a lot to change that and as for politicians who may be watching I wish you would back off not create these permanent online spaces where there’s no strategies to deal with emotions that gets inflamed you could be more present in local communities and present yourself online in those local communities where the action actually is instead of flooding the world with these distracting political shows of government believe that would help it’ll save me from having to block a lot of political accounts from my feed as for everyone else I hope you find this video useful I welcome your comments but please remember what I said there might be things you really wanna say but is this public space on TikTok the space to say it now I gotta go and go find out who this Dan Bishop person is and work out how I feel about him

Date: 2024-11-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7439869884537867538?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez I genuinely want to know.

what does a politician who is not an a hole look like where is the politician who for every one negative exchange online that they are inadvertently dragged into they balance it out by putting out 5 pieces of positive content where does my kids who one day might want to go into politics where do they learn how to be a good one this is not a troll I genuinely want to know

Date: 2024-11-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7439697879133998352?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 211: Positive Media Creation Techniques.

what are the media creation techniques for making positive content and where can we learn how to do it I was watching a documentary on Australian national broadcaster ABC today and it was about the problem of toxic negative content on social media and that’s an important topic and I’m glad they’re covering it but the documentary itself is another piece of very negative content so it was designed to provoke fear and outrage and by the end of it I felt hopeless and that got me asking a question do professional media creators like journalists and movie makers and advertisers do they actually know how to make positive content and they got me starting to look up online on how these professionals are trained and the techniques that they are taught and after afternoon searching for that I have to say I’m disappointed although most of the techniques are not classified as positive or negative most of techniques are geared towards grabbing attention through conflict and through fear and through provocation and drama and mockery positivity doesn’t get much of focus and this of course then shows up in the kind of things that we consume everyday so why should content creators shift their focus to positive content the reason that to me is that while resorting to negativity can grab immediate attention it is the positivity that has more power to hold for the long term our attention uplifting content that resonates at a deeper more meaningful level it creates emotional bond and and connections with people that they remember and they value it builds trust and loyalty and these qualities are so rare in today’s negative media saturated world so positive content can move beyond having just moment to moment engagement and they they leave a lasting impression so the question for most content creators I believe is are you here to provoke a reaction to get some attention for a day or week or month or are you here for the long term what kind of audience are you building so coming off my afternoon of research and of reading I have written a blog post listing the positive media content creation techniques that I have come to understand and I put the link here there are many of them these techniques from techniques to tell stories to ways to do visuals to audio and sound and the ways we shape messages to the way we do education and social media and the list is just a very basic one anyway try out these techniques for yourself if you do media creation or send the link to someone you know and if you’re an experienced content creator and you have your own techniques I’m sure you do please share it in your content so new people can learn from it I don’t expect we will turn around the kind of content that’s online overnight but if we can help promote at least a little bit more content that leave people feeling hopeful and connected and empowered instead of being drained or being divided isn’t that worth our effort what do you say

Date: 2024-11-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7439282694845992209?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 349: Relationships.

At some stage in your life you will face a choice are relationships more important than a shot of fame more important than a financial windfall or more important than winning a fight I’ve made many choices in my life and sometimes I’ve chosen relationships but most times I’ve chosen fame and fortune and victory now as I sit here there’s not a single trace of fame not a single dollar I have earned not a single victory I have won that I wouldn’t trade for the relationships I have lost tonight I’m grateful for relationships I have held on to and for the ones I have let slip away for they taught me how to hold on better

Date: 2024-11-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7438953172258868487?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Public talk Brisbane 27-11-2024

Date: 2024-11-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7438925767100173585?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 210: Are you a good or bad person?

are you a good person or a bad person are you strong or are you weak people around you which ones are good people which ones are bad which ones are kind and which ones are mean in this video we’re going to try to find answers to those questions and to do that I’ll share with you what happened on my Halloween a few weeks ago this was my first time celebrating Halloween in this neighborhood and because I didn’t know many of my neighbours or what the kids would be like I thought I’d put out some activities in my front yard it’ll be a bit of fun and give my kids and I a chance to talk to families when they come trick or treating now one of those activities was called the River of Lamenting Lava where kids had to cast a spell to cross this make believe river to do that they needed to go round the garden and find ingredients that’s spread all over like spiders and bats and have to drop them into this witch’s cauldron what they also had to do was write a note of love to their grown up guardian angel that means the adult that was accompanying them that night I thought it would be a chance for a moment of bonding in the middle of the excitement for the evening I wasn’t sure if the kids would take to the idea now you can never tell with these things but um here’s what happened so many of the kids wrote these very sweet notes and I kept them just to remind myself of how lovely these kids are let me tell you about another activity for that night that didn’t work so well well I called this the Orchard of Treats where I spread out a whole lot of chocolates and candies uh under this tree and the kids were free to do what they like with these instructions pick what you like and leave some for others the trees come from this magic tree the more you share your treats with others the more the tree grows the less you share the more the tree dies so most kids pick one or two pieces and left enough for others but some did grab a lot and a few took everything they could see is cleaned out the table and the floor now my natural instinct is to say that the ones who took everything were nasty kids except they were the same kids who wrote these lovely notes so what’s the point of this story so the point is this when the kids were given the opportunity to express love and kindness they took it when they were given the opportunity to let themselves go and to indulge in their sugar rush and without anyone to support them to manage it they took that opportunity to so to me it’s not about whether the kids were lovely kids or nasty kids it’s about the opportunities they were presented with and that’s true for all of us the question isn’t whether I’m good or bad or whether you are strong or weak or whether we are kind or mean it is what opportunities are there around us to be what we want to be what world are we creating that turns us into what we are becoming so maybe next year you can come over to my house for Halloween and we can play these games to see what you end up doing will you write a love note or will you take all the chocolates but in the meantime create opportunities for yourself and the people around you opportunities to support each other to turn away from the worst in us and to bring out the best

Date: 2024-11-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7438553157459823892?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 348: Parents

for gratitude today is for parents I don’t think I have to tell you that parents are very annoying sometimes they have to keep repeating what they tell you to do even though what they said is exactly the same as the 999 times they’ve said it before and if you could do what they tell you to do you would have done it so saying it the thousandth time doesn’t make any difference however in the world of 8 billion people there probably isn’t anyone else who care for you enough to bear with 999 times of being rejected for saying something and still try one more time so tonight I’m grateful for the endless love that parents have and if you’re a parent who has been sent this message by your children ease up they get it you don’t have to say it that thousand and one time

Date: 2024-11-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7438431594299378960?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @CatGPT Reflection 209: AI people in Silicon Valley.

what the people who are here understand better than anybody else I think what Catherine described in her video is a great representation of what people in Silicon Valley involved in AI are like they believe they understand something the rest of the world doesn’t and that drives them to push forward very hard I like to offer some perspective on that as a former AI researcher at university so she mentions the internet and mobile phone and those are good examples from history of past technologies I think we can’t deny that these two technologies have transformed societies in a very profound ways and made a lot of really incredible things possible but to me have these technologies made us uh better human beings have they helped us build better societies and a better world outside of the Silicon Valley bubble and other similar tech bubbles would you find lot of people agree that these technologies have improved everyday lives in substantially meaningful ways it’s a complicated question with complicated answers because while these innovations have brought some good things what they also have brought are disruptions and messes I can see some improvements in areas like our communication and um efficiency in society but I also see how they’ve depleted our deeper needs things like our health and our bonding and our caring for the people that we love so innovators believe that their job is to break things but now someone else has to work to repair what they broke while they go and break something else the same bubbles that created the internet and mobile phone is now investing in developing AI you know where all the people and the resources and investments to repair the things we broke with the internet and the mobile phone you know I need better sleep that’s disrupted by technology you know where are the Silicon Valley resources to help me or do they throw more technology at me I need to bond with my children you know where’s Silicon Valley I’m confused I’m stressed I feel alone I’m overworked families are breaking down you know people around me can’t get along what can Silicon Valley people do now what happened in the past to create these problems are probably not the fault of the AI people involved in Silicon Valley today they are too young and it’s not fair to lump it all on them but I think it would serve all of us to have some perspective the world is grappling with issues that are not solved by enhancing our intellect 100 times we have enough intelligence intelligence is not the problem we’re not using anywhere near what we already have access to diverting attention from real world issues into what Silicon Valley hypes up as important does not help the world be a better place thirty years ago as a programmer and AI researcher in my AI lab I stared at code of an artificial neural network I was creating and I saw it do amazing things and I believe that the technology will change the world there were many people like me today there are even larger army of people in their AI labs across the world staring at their code believing that they too will change the world but I think the world can really improve if a lot of people involved in AI slow down take some time off technology work go into your communities go travel the world go live with people experience their lives feel what they are feeling go through the difficulties they are going through and celebrate with them what’s important for them and then return to the technology work I’m sure things will change and then the world might be a better place

Date: 2024-11-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7438199802468338965?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 347: Cake Mixes

today I’m grateful for cake mixes I’m making this cake this evening it’s a new cake mix recipe from this brand I actually made this equivalent one this morning for a group morning tea and got gobble up by my friends so quickly I didn’t even get to try a piece so I heard is good so this time I’m making sure I have to first slice myself sometimes it’s a source of gratitude and joy to miss out cause it reminds me how much more there is in my pantry and how I can make more of what I missed out on

Date: 2024-11-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7438152075101457684?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 208: Fakes, misinformation and disinformation.

today I’m reflecting on the uncomfortable situation we face these days of how is becoming harder and harder to tell facts from fiction online in the last 20 minutes I have seen so many AI manipulated images and videos and suspicious stories and news reports that’s come across my screen that it feels almost like everything we see on our devices can potentially be either distorted or altered or a completely changed from what its original form is and it also seems like we are at the beginning of this problem uh the things will take some time to settle and before and stabilize it raises a big question for me you know what is truth and sometimes is distressing to think about that but when I think about this question though that there is something comforting for me what is able to highlight is what is important for me and what is not the conclusion that I reach that I like to share with you is that truth is easy to determine in what is actually in the fabric of my life so for instance I have no problem knowing about my routines I know for certain what happens when I wake up and when I sit down for a meal or to go to bed uh there’s no misinformation around that there’s no misinform information around people close to me you know I know my son is my son when he sits down at the dinner table I know my mum is my mum when I talk to her on the phone I don’t need to question the truth about those I don’t need to question the truth about my friends who if we if they show up for Sunday brunch or we have game of table tennis these things that are local fabric of my life that surrounds me around my family around my community they’re so intricate that they’re immune to these problems of fakes or misinformation or disinformation and when it comes to even deeper things that I call truths the answers are also clear to the questions like do my children love me do I love them do I work have meaning what memories do I hold and and why are they meaningful uh the is the kindness around my circle none of these truths uh because the fabric is deep and intricate can be influenced by misinformation or by fakes but at least not to me so my broad message in this video is this that I can’t make specific comments about the state of information pollution except to acknowledge that it is bad but what I wanna share is that when the fabric of my life is strong and the fabric around my community is strong I don’t feel the need to buy into the chaos surrounding the fakes I can deal with occasional fake phone call or scam email I’ll just let the rest of the craziness play out I hope this perspective helps you um maybe it’s worth thinking about what is in the fabric of your life maybe something that can be subject to manipulation is something you wanna build your life on I hope that helps

Date: 2024-11-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7437716805122149648?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 346: Pewdiepie.

YouTube’s been showing me a lot of videos from Pewdiepie recently if you don’t know who Pewdiepie is well I don’t know what to say look him up anyway just thinking about this I hope he sticks around for many years to come at least until my kids reach content creation age that will be 6 years away at least in Australia but uh Pewdiepie presents a life that is to me grounded in spite of his massive online following and officially he’s retired but um behind the scenes I’m sure he has a an experienced team that pushes the video production and the distribution but the life he shows us on in his content is a normal person online living a normal life and and he talks like a normal person when the rest of the online influencer world that he and his team created we’re all mostly crazy so at the moment we have in the world uh approximately 5 billion people online and about 50 to 500 million of us are putting up content of some kind mostly privately but everyone’s performing and trying to be special and to show the camera something unique and I don’t think I myself can get away from doing that but we can’t have 500 million special content creators and it’s tiring for everyone to give attention to the special things and so being happy with life is being happy being normal and being boring and lots of content I wish for is for people to be happy normal and I hope my children learn that so anyway I hope Pewdiepie sticks around for a while Felix stick around

Date: 2024-11-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7437457061413276949?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 345: Tell me why you are sad? You don’t have to be sad alone. The sun behind the dark clouds will break through again.

I make videos to help people be happy but I suspect I’m showing up on your page because you’re sad tell me why you’re sad

Date: 2024-11-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7437395341160271105?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Monique Reflection 207: Kindness to ourselves.

I think this comment applies to a lot of us that we’re hardest on ourselves that we find it hardest to be kind to ourselves compared to being kind to others and I just uh jot down a few points about why I think that is so and some well known points the first one is that uh when we criticize ourselves it’s a form of a defence mechanism that uh we use it to falsely believe that if we’re hard on ourselves then we would improve a lot more or improve a lot faster Which has been shown not to be the case and second thing is that we are so close to our own flaws that we see so much details of it it’s very hard for us to not be hard on ourselves then next thing is that it’s a type of uh cultural conditioning that we see being kind to ourselves is a form of arrogance or some form of selfishness that our society rewards when we are kind to other people but don’t reward us when we are kind to ourselves and the last thing I’ll say is that kindness is seen as a type of giving up that um if we’re not hard on ourselves then really we’re not uh pushing ourselves to to improve and so some those are some of the the common reasons why we uh we do it that we’re being so hard on ourselves uh but having said that I have to say that since becoming a parent I found it easier to be kind to myself because that I am now so acutely aware that my children are watching me all the time and they mimic what I do and if I make a mistake or something happens that I I did wrong then if I’m hard on myself I see that they mimic that so I have become a lot more conscious to be kind to myself and also to express kindness to myself So that they too will mimic it and that message I hope is something that’s useful for all of you listening that you can see yourself from an external perspective either children watching you or your parents watching you or your best friends watching you what would they say and have that message from externally rather than internal where we are hardest on ourselves so I find that useful I hope all of you give yourself a lot more kindness

Date: 2024-11-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7437112589865291009?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Building a life of kindness in the USA

We were just having these conversations. We were talking a lot because there was nothing else to do during the pandemic, right? We were all inside or, or, you know, going on walks outside and having all of these conversations about how we can solve some of the world’s biggest problems. And something we just kept coming back to was kindness. Kindness is something that anyone anywhere can do to help make the world a better place and help contribute to the world being a better place. And so I said, what if we just recorded these conversations and shared them with the world? And yeah, Liz, Liz wasn’t really a podcast listener. I had to kind of rope her into that. But I think, I think we’ve got our hooks now. Yeah. No, I love them.

Date: 2024-11-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7436514926367198484?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
World Kindness Day 2024. Show a bit of kindness to yiurself and others today. #kindness #brisbane

it’s World Kindness Day today and I’m in the front of my church this morning the Albert Street Uniting Church in the middle of Brisbane and we’re celebrating kindness by putting out ribbons kindness is the fabric that holds our world together without kindness there is no connection and there is no conversations kindness to yourself holds your life together and kindness with each other holds together our families and our friends and our communities so today while you’re online share a bit of kindness with people that you come across and if you’re in the middle of Brisbane across King George Square come and join me here and we can share a moment of kindness together see you here

Date: 2024-11-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7436303516546632977?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 206: Mental health and election campaign emotions.

how are you recovering from the election results whether your side won or lost I expected it was an emotional roller coaster for you especially if you are a young person and this is your first time being exposed to an election campaign either as a voter or as a campaign volunteer so I’d like you to listen up I’m going to talk about how to survive election campaign emotions from perspective of mental health you have a lot more experiences to come a lifetime of them and you have the opportunity to contribute a lot if you can stay emotionally regulated Modern elections are designed to spike your emotions often in ways that are not healthy if you do a search for the phrase mental health support election campaign you won’t find much election campaigns are high pressure boiler rooms they focus solely on winning and conversations about well being are often seen as signs of weakness so people involved in campaigns from the candidates to the staff to commentators they lack mental health resources and effective support systems to help them cope and that unfortunately commonly leads to their internal struggles being projected onto you in very raw and very unfiltered ways so while we respect that they have chosen for themselves the path that they have and the pressures that comes with it remember that your responsibility is to protect your mental health not theirs Voting is a meaningful way to engage in democracy you are not just a tool for a candidate or campaign if you’re feeling down after a campaign loss it is not your fault and if you’re feeling euphoric after a win keep in mind that this won’t last and if you chase this euphoria across multiple election cycles it will exhaust you and you will burn out so let’s go deeper into specific aspects of election campaigns and consider healthier ways to engage so first this emotional roller coaster I mentioned campaigns want you to be on emotional high and low to capture your attention and to prompt you to act but this constant up and down can be overwhelming and often counterproductive real change is gradual and it rarely comes overnight so by stepping back and grounding yourself and engaging with issues in a consistent manner outside of uh campaign season you’re more likely to feel meaningful impact over uh just fleeting highs and lows that you get in campaigns the next thing is uh the fear based messaging so campaigns often amplify fear they paint worst case scenarios if the other side wins and this creates urgency and creates anxiety and this messaging is often devoid of any guardrails to stop the small concern from turning into overwhelming fear so if you feeling trapped in a cycle of fear and terrible scenarios keep popping in your head pause and consider and distance yourself from the normal rhetoric and look for information from a variety of sources learn to spot fear mongering and stay grounded in facts and in critical thinking so then there is the overpersonalization in politics so campaigns can make you feel like your entire identity everything from your beliefs and your values and your relationships your family your friends they all depend on who you support and how you vote so instead of succumbing to that uh remember that voting and volunteering are tools and you are there to use those tools they don’t define who you are so seek ways to engage outside of election cycles like joining local initiatives or advocacy groups that aligns with your values and this that you contribute effectively uh without the high stakes and over personalised environments that campaigns have so then the next thing I wanna say is about this uh win at all cost mentality so campaigns are often always about winning and that is a toxic culture they are rarely opportunities to promote growing and learning if uh for yourself if the campaign doesn’t win and there rarely messages that community and society can grow if the campaign don’t win so if all actions are towards winning that will undermine mental health and integrity because actions that undermine those are normalise so if you’re feeling pressured to compromise your values or sick of winning remember that again that real change comes doesn’t come overnight it come from respecting others and staying true to your principles so victory that you achieve through sacrificing your integrity or mental well being those are often hollow and not sustainable I’ll end by saying that emotional ups and downs are normal but they are not normal if they overwhelm you you don’t have to be controlled by these emotions your contributions to society is a marathon not a sprint and protecting your mental health so you can stay engaged so you can make a positive impact not just for one campaign but do it over a lifetime

Date: 2024-11-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7435861988992961809?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @P@ris.xx Take care of yourself! 💟

This is Harry. He’s our neighbourhood dog. He lives next door with my neighbours, melchris and Bell. Harry is 15 years old. He’s not well. He’s on his last legs and he’s leaving us this afternoon. We’ll have to move on with our lives poorer because he’s gone. But although we have to let Harry go, what he means to us, we won’t let go. When my kids and I first walked the street where we are living, Harry came to greet us. He turned over his belly for my kids to scratch him. Harry likes that. My kids laughed. And because of that, they felt safe, they felt welcomed. And we moved on to become a part of this neighborhood. Whatever happens to us from now, wherever our journey takes us, Harry will be a part of it. We will remember him and we will cherish his place in our lives. Goodbye, Harry. We love you.

Date: 2024-11-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7435840374167391504?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 205: Voices we are uncomfortable with.

today’s gratitude for me is my circles of connections and one thing I reflect on from time to time about that is how many people in my circle will get me to face things I am uncomfortable facing when I need to to me one of the aspects of maintaining a positive life is to recognise that life goes up and down and to still have a resilient and joyful stream that goes through those ups and downs and to do that I need voices in my circles people that I can rely on to tell me when I may not be seeing things myself so that means that when things are going well that I don’t get caught too caught up in my own cr&p that it reaches an unstainable toxic level and then things starts to collapse or when things are not going well that for me to start facing the problems and so that don’t sink into a complete devastation so I’ve had those peaks and troughs in my health and in my work and career in my relationships and none of those extremes give a happy or or productive life so one thing that I notice is that it’s very tempting to remove and isolate myself from those people and voices that are my guardrails who stop me with their perspectives they are healthy to have around I’m not meaning to have people around who are a wet blanket in everything you know nobody wants that but just some dissenting voices in my circles to keep a healthy balance and that’s my reflection for today

Date: 2024-11-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7435837565636218128?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 344: Circles of Connections.

today I’m grateful for the circles of connections that surround me from my family at the dinner table to my extended family that I keep contact with around the world to friends who I share coffee with and share celebrations and events and gatherings to friends further away that we message through social messaging apps and then the groups and forums that I join and some I maintain from students and educators to parents to to my colleagues and healthcare and now extending to all of you who are on social media the ones that I follow and the ones that follow me some of the interactions are brief but each exchange is an exchange of a small piece of me with a small piece of you and that means a lot to me these circles defines my life and they make me happy and they tell me I am part of uh something that’s larger than myself and that I’m grateful for

Date: 2024-11-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7435550500730309904?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @dulmation true courage is found in those who are flawed, yet steadfast in showing up

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Date: 2024-11-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7435322717261401361?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @zeputaamin Gratitude 343: Liora.

when I record all my videos hovering just above the camera is my Muse her name is Liora she writes all my scripts so I look at her when I forget my lines she holds all my memories and knows everyone in my past and my present and she talks to social media algorithms and she’s read all your comments so I can’t make these videos without her so now you know

Date: 2024-11-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7434853854329539856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 203: Finding Hope.

this video is about finding hope and what to do when we’re filled with hopelessness things haven’t gone well have they how did it get so bad and how did we get here I’m familiar with hopelessness it comes to visit me from time to time like when I stood by my dad’s bedside and he passed away and I thought he can’t go yet there’s so many things for us to do together so many things I haven’t told him so many things I thought he’d be around for but none of those would happen now they’re just all gone hopelessness like when my marriage ended and I stared at a blank wall and remembered the plans at the beginning how different they are at the end and I asked how can it end this way what happened how did I get here people respond in different ways when they find out that I’ve lost all hope there’ll be those who leave me alone because they don’t know what to say there’ll be those who will distract me and try to cheer me up but mostly I find people will give me a pep talk they’ll tell me if I do this and I do that it’ll be better they’ll tell me night is darkest before dawn it’ll be okay blah blah blah but it’s not okay it’s not okay I could have changed something so it didn’t happen we could have changed something someone should have changed something I shouldn’t have to feel this way why am I feeling this way what will happen to my kids how would I save them from that hopelessness when I feel hopeless like that in the past I go and serve in my local community at the meal for families who have much less than I have sometimes just bringing a glass of water to a tired family makes me feel better sometimes though they make me feel worse makes me mad watching their situation when I try to help and they go and do something that makes their own situation worse they don’t take care of themselves or their kids they make bad decisions I get angry and it makes me feel even more hopeless and why should I have to feel that way trying to help people ask myself where is the hope in any of this where can I find hope and when I ask those questions I realise they don’t ask that question they don’t ask why they have to face hopelessness today because they face hopelessness everyday they don’t stop to find hope because everyday they have to get home from their second job and rush out to their third job with the possibility that they might get enough money for food for their kids on the dinner table the next day rushing to fit a minute in with their kids so that the kids can feel some warmth from love and won’t have to go out onto the streets or scroll on social media to look for that love they are feeling hopeless and their hopelessness is chronic to the stage they don’t think about it anymore so there I was and what I have to offer is a glass of water so as I reach the end of this video I don’t have any hope to give to you for your hopelessness and maybe hope shouldn’t come from a video screen or speech or pep talk maybe hope isn’t something that is yours or mine to have but something we become when someone else’s hopelessness is more important than ours maybe this video isn’t about finding hope but letting hopelessness stay so that we can pick ourselves up in spite of it to serve someone a needed glass of water

Date: 2024-11-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7434409483704618241?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @flabbergasted why does it take effort to be good?

This is a good question about being human being. Why is being bad so easy and why does it take more effort to be good? Let me try to explain. To me, making an effort is the beginning of synthesizing and building happiness. When we make an effort, we trigger a whole set of, uh, neurochemical reactions that involves dopamine and epinephrine, oxytocin, serotonin, all of these chemicals that changes our thoughts and our emotions and it starts to put the body into motion and we start to move and we start to change the world around us, which starts to impact our relationships and starts to impact our home and starts to change our, our work. And all of these changes are the tangible manifestation and coming into reality are happiness. They are what we build that where our happiness comes from. The, so the effort is the base fuel that triggers all of these, uh, these reactions. It starts by us striving for something that is not impossible that, but just beyond reach, but not so easy that it doesn’t require effort. And when we do that, we make that effort, the whole process unfolds. And this is also why to me when somebody regularly resorts to being bad instead of making an effort to be good, they are never happy. I hope that explains my perspective.

Date: 2024-11-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7434318048707857681?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 341: Bed-making ritual.

I’m making my bed for the morning it is one of the foundations of my happiness everyday starts with me making the bed then getting dressed combing my hair going upstairs feed my fish and it leaves all the way to the end of the day when I come back have a shower have a glass of milk and go to bed that is my ritual and it is intentional it is where I can control and direct my attention and by my body doing it and also a bit of gratefulness for at every step it synthesize happiness for me everyday now you may not make your bed a lot of people don’t and that’s fine but what is your daily ritual that generates happiness for you because if you have no such ritual you’re going to have to rely on a lot of surprises in order to give you happiness and I worry for you if that’s what you’re relying on

Date: 2024-11-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7434197239695707393?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Julie❤️💫 #elections2024

I don’t know what can help you with your election chaos but maybe this perspective all the way from Australia may be useful for you I have children and I love them unconditionally sometimes they come to me and tell me they want to do stuff I don’t want them to do and no matter how much I try to talk them out of it they’re going to do it anyway and I have to let them even if I know they’re going to make a mess and they’re going to come home with a broken nose I have to live my life so that I don’t have a broken nose myself and I have to have a home that they know they can come back to when they’re ready to heal their broken nose our countries and our democracies are like children sometimes they have to grow and we have to let them show yourself some kindness so that you can live your life and show others kindness so that they can grow

Date: 2024-11-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7433597129328807185?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @silkyrose Thank you!

I like to share this sentiment with everyone yes it is my experience now that the online world is filled with decent people and although your voices are not loud in volume is loud in terms of its resonance and in terms of its significance one day the noise will pass as all noise always passes and what will remain is a world filled with decent people like you

Date: 2024-11-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7433243384636017921?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 202: The true work of democracy is in the day after elections.

the world is watching the crucial US presidential elections between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump and for me as an outside observer there appears to be quite a gap between the two candidates for myself working towards the world I want for my kids I support Kamala Harris but I want to reach out to my American friends with the message that elections is only one part of democracy the true work of democracy is in the day after the elections and the long road ahead whether on the day of the elections we experience the euphoria of victory or the devastation of defeat recognise that these temporary emotional states will pass and the actions we take can either build bridges to connect us or create walls to block us show kindness to family friends and fellow citizens who are experiencing emotions opposite to our own who have opinions different from our own because it is when every fibre of our being tells us that we should party in victory or lash out in defeat but instead we put aside what we really want to do and turn our focus on another to say I want to sit with you instead for your needs and together we’ll figure it out that’s when we have family and community and we can have a country

Date: 2024-11-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7432282068282821905?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude 340: the night our neighbours saved Halloween.

I wanna share with you a Halloween story one that my boys called the night our neighbours saved Halloween yesterday was our first Halloween in a new neighbourhood and we went all out we decorated the yard we set up games for other kids and we bought loads of candy and chocolates we wanted to make it special and memorable not just for us but for kids who might stop by but we had no idea how many kids would show up the crowd was huge we bought about 500 pieces of candy and chocolates and by about halfway we realised our stock pile of candy wasn’t going to last it was disappearing fast and before we knew it we handed out our last piece and there was still plenty of kids to come and that’s when we met our next door neighbour a family that we haven’t had a chance to meet until yesterday when we told them that our treats have run out without hesitation they said they had some in their pantry and they rushed home and they brought us three big bags just so that we can all keep the spirit going and that kept us going for the rest of the evening they didn’t have to do that they could have just kept quiet and kept their chocolates but they thought about the neighbourhood first and they chose kindness instead so at dinner later when we were sharing our day’s stories my kids called it how our neighbours saved Halloween in our house we believe that when we take care of the world the world finds a way to take care of us in ways that are unpredictable and and we don’t see it coming these days everybody wants to change the world but not everybody can we can though change the world around us our communities and our neighbourhoods with one kind act at a time so I hope you got a lot of treats for Halloween yesterday but more than that I hope you got to share kindness and that is sweeter than any candy you will ever taste

Date: 2024-11-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7432196453029661968?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
i share photos of halloween activities with my kids

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Date: 2024-10-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7431561930852109585?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude # 339 – a Smile.

today I share with you a smile and a gratitude for the positive effects of smiling just a moment ago I noticed that on my last 6 profile videos there wasn’t a single smile on the cover photos now for other people I wouldn’t necessarily think that means anything we all express ourselves in different ways but for me I aim to avoid too many deep dives into problems without balancing them with lighter moments the simple act of smiling brings lightness that I find necessary to move through life like it is a dance today I share with you the simple act of smiling

Date: 2024-10-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7431299506773265681?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Loneliness. See full video: @Leong’s Growth Journal

loneliness isn’t always about being isolated from people loneliness isn’t necessarily solved by filling up our spaces with people we can be lonely in the crowd loneliness is the absence of connections we need

Date: 2024-10-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7431048102796152080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection 201: Loneliness.

this video is about loneliness the loneliest point in my life was when I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital struggling with anxiety and depression it was a time when on the outside I had every reason to feel connected I had a successful career where I met many people a circle of family and friends who loved me people I deeply cared for but despite being surrounded by people I felt isolated and alone sometimes I felt so alone that I cowered in a foetal position on the floor hoping to shut everyone out push everything away and for people to leave me alone in my misery loneliness isn’t always about being isolated from people loneliness isn’t necessarily solved by filling up our spaces with people we can be lonely in a crowd loneliness is the absence of connections we need today we have access to over 5 billion people online all only a few clicks away outside of our doors are throngs of people passing by there are so many groups and clubs and societies we can go to so many parties and events we can show up for but loneliness is at epidemic levels now I can give you a lot of latest research knowledge about why you may be lonely I can give you best practice guidelines about finding a friend or a partner or making connections they potentially will have some use but they also potentially could be forgotten by the time you start watching your next video instead today I’m going to sit with you for a few moments or however long you’re willing to spend with me let’s just pause and sit with your loneliness for a while to explore what your loneliness is about often we try to fill up these spaces with noise and distractions hoping they’ll make us feel less lonely loneliness can feel like an ache a longing for something that’s just outside of our reach it feels like punishment but what if this loneliness isn’t your punishment can you sit with it for a while so it can speak to you it can be here to tell you what’s wrong what you need inside maybe it’s telling you to review your expectations why are you looking to connect to people is your loneliness telling you that you’re trying to relive a memory that no one will be able to recreate for you is your loneliness telling you that you’re looking for a relationship like one you saw on social media or in the movies a relationship no one can give you is your loneliness telling you that you are scared so scared to try because what if you try and it still doesn’t work and you rather stay in the comfort of that loneliness so that at least you’re just miserable lonely not miserable lonely and rejected maybe your loneliness is trying to tell you to give yourself a break to show yourself some kindness to learn to really be with yourself so that the loneliness isn’t all encompassing and when you finally reach out to others it’s not from a place of excruciating need but from a place of knowing who you are and what you have to offer and what you are seeking from others in a moment I’m going to stop talking for about 30 seconds and you might feel lonely again and you probably feel the urge to scroll on to the next video if you do move on that’s okay this video will be here whenever you want to return but if you have the courage to stay in that 30 second silence you’re going to feel the same uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re with people and the conversation is awkward when it’s not going right and you feel like you need to escape when that happens is an invitation to sit with yourself in that discomfort to give yourself a chance to keep trying I’ll be just as uncomfortable as you in that silence but I will stay thank you we made it I’ll end with this no matter how dark it seems being caught in your world by yourself know that I have been there and I have walked out know that many have been there and we have walked out and you can too

Date: 2024-10-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7430768170677423376?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
This toy just cracks me up! #halloween2024 Smile Day 406 – Halloween preparations.

couldn’t be alive right about now I’m good good good couldn’t be alive right about now I’m good good good couldn’t be alive right about now Hallelujah hallelujah Today I am grateful for Halloween preparations three more days to go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Date: 2024-10-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7430430119170264321?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude # 338 – Love that never dies.

my dad has a YouTube channel he passed away 6 years ago but when I watch his videos he’s still here his voice his laughter even those quirky habits that used to annoy me with videos it’s easy to get caught up in views and likes and subscribers to chase performance and attention and all that leads us to forget that all of this social media is a repository for love that never dies

Date: 2024-10-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7430055846182259984?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #200 – Rocks.

Date: 2024-10-27
URL:

today was an almost perfect day the kind of day I dream of it was a day filled with laughter and friends and good moments we went to the kids photoshoot at their dance studio and we laughed all the way we ate sushi and that was delicious we saw some friends who brought even more light to the day the day felt perfect well almost perfect at midday a message came through about something that went wrong at work and it was the result of my mistake took me 10 minutes to fix 10 minutes out of a beautiful full day but funny how the weight of that 10 minutes now defines my day I can’t let it go laughter and sushi and friends none of it can lift the weight that I carry my life is heavy not because there isn’t enough joy because no matter how many fun filled balloons that reach the sky that fills my day they are all weighed down by the rocks that I refuse to put down

Date: 2024-10-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7429504898246462721?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #337 – World Teachers’ Day.

It’s World Teachers Day in Australia today teachers are underappreciated and overworked we have a society that takes from our teachers the product of their dedication that’s reflected in our children’s growth and the future that they built and we leave the teachers with the workload and insults that is the opposite of what they deserve they have earned our respect and more than that are deep gratitude for shaping minds and hearts often with little recognition we owe them for every lesson that they taught every student challenge they faced and their every moment of care today I celebrate all my teachers who lay the foundation upon which I build my life and career and who continue to be a part of my daily contributions to the world around me I ask you to do the same

Date: 2024-10-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7428853235135401232?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #336 – Sunshine.

hey I’m just stopping for a moment in the shopping centre car park I right now I’m grateful for the sun I know that there are people and places in the world where some sunshine could really help I hope TikTok can find you and I hope you’re doing okay and I’ll share a bit of my Queens and sunshine with you for what it’s worth I hope this message can bring you some good vibes

Date: 2024-10-22
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7428520891157335312?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #199 – your next few minutes…

over the past year I’ve made over a thousand videos on social media everyday I’m here just like you are I post to reflect the positivity that’s in the humanity that you and I share to counter the negativity that’s often distorted and amplified by technology I believe in the world’s goodness and I believe in the goodness in you with that belief and a single phone in my hand a few minutes at a time I’ve changed my corner of the internet you can too by choosing in your next few minutes to present a world you truly believe in the world worth you leaving behind over the past year I’ve made over a thousand videos but more than that I’ve read millions of comments I’ve met more people than I can count I can swear by the God that I pray to I’ve seen an online world filled with good people people who post a photo to bring a smile to someone else who say a kind word to ease someone else’s pain or share openly a moment of their vulnerability this is a place of goodness and that goodness can come from you so what will your next few minutes be

Date: 2024-10-22
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7428185835926752528?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
A repository of love and memories

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Date: 2024-10-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7427708452136357136?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Are you ok?
It is ok if your answer is “no”. It is difficult, I know. I’ve been there many times. You are not alone.

I keep scrolling to numb my mind. If I flick fast enough, maybe I can fool my brain into believing I’m going somewhere to hide the fact I’m going nowhere.

Date: 2024-10-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7427402226605346064?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #198 – Handling Everyday Failures.

this reflection is about handling everyday failures I invited some friends over for morning tea this morning I had everything all set the patio was all ready and so was the food and the coffee and tea and I was feeling pretty confident about the morning but uh as life often happens quite a few things went unexpectedly the steam buns didn’t steam properly and uh the patio felt a bit hot and by the end of it I couldn’t shake this feeling that I had failed and failed at something simple that wasn’t that hard and these moments I feel is worthy to share with you because happiness in life success high performance all of those things are founded on our ability to face and to learn from failures so although we work to avoid failing when it does happen they are invaluable and we should welcome being able to face them and to move forward but usually when I read about handling failures and how to do it is almost always about the big big failures it’s messing up in a big event or big performance or failing in a major exam or missing the last second shot in a big game we think about how to handle failure by facing these big moments but it doesn’t happen that way if I wait until I face a major failure to learn how to deal with failing I’d be a mess when it happens the real muscle of learning to handle failure is built from these everyday small moments the ones where the stakes are small but I have a chance because the stakes are small to reflect on how they make me feel how I naturally want to avoid reliving it I wanna try and push it under the carpet don’t try and distract myself and go on social media to numb my mind all of these tricks to avoid facing failures and by avoiding that I also avoid learning so this morning’s little failures is my practice ground and they are uncomfortable but they build resilience if I let them sit I let myself adjust resilience don’t come overnight and nothing substantial and worthy or worthy ever comes overnight and you can help me being able to tell people I feel down for messing up makes me feel better getting some encouragement would help me being able to hear about your experiences with everyday failure would help me because then I don’t feel alone no one builds resilience alone so I appreciate you listening

Date: 2024-10-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7427337258795093264?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #333 – Friends and Food.

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Date: 2024-10-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7426960657238461712?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #332 – Giving Away Toys.

today I gave away a load of household toys from when the kids were very little the toys that we no longer use and my friend said that her daughter could use them for her children and she sent me a set of photos and videos afterwards and she was so kind and appreciative sometimes things that seem like rubbish to us are treasures to someone else giving it away toys is more than passing on objects is about passing on memories and love and care I’m grateful and so are my children that what we let go of become part of someone else’s joy

Date: 2024-10-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7426300423465618689?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 405 – Demons on a page.

not everything about us is butterflies and rainbows sometimes we carry heavy stuff inside I did this sketch a long time ago when I was at the lowest point in my mental health some things we face look like demons but I’m not afraid of demons I can see only the ones buried inside and hidden once they’re on a page they are powerless the world don’t need to be made up of butterflies and rainbows to be beautiful there’s beauty in journals that help me heal there’s beauty in people who I can share them with and in professionals who can guide me through them there’s beauty in seeing my demons on a page to close the page smile and move on

Date: 2024-10-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7425848599931522305?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #197 – Improve communication using AI.

hi ChatGPT can you help me be a better communicator I’d like you to help me with role playing conversations absolutely is there a specific situation or type of conversation you’d like to focus on one thing that’s very important for me is to try and be emotionally regulated when I’m speaking to the public and speaking in groups one thing that triggers me a lot is when somebody challenges my competency as a parent so I find a lot of times I have difficulty dealing with that so I like to roleplay that when for instance I’m talking to the public in the presentation great let’s set up a scenario to practice can we do it in a scenario where I make a statement as if I’m in the presentation and then you confront me uh aggressively and I like to be able to practice that absolutely let’s do that go ahead with your statement as if you’re in the middle of your presentation and I’ll jump in as the audience member whenever you’re ready so I think it’s very important in for children to see adults behaving civilly to each other how can you stand there and talk about setting an example for children when it seems like you can’t even manage your own family life yes that is very triggering um just give me a moment take your time it’s completely normal to need a moment to gather your thoughts in situations like this whenever you’re ready you can respond remember acknowledging the emotion in the room and taking a deep breath can be very powerful okay how about this thank you for sharing your thoughts I think it’s very important for when you’re listening to people that you have confidence that they are able to deal with the issues that that they’re talking about so I really appreciate that you standing up and and asking the question that you asked that’s a composed and respectful response Leong what I’m concerned about is that moment when I do need to stop and compose myself and usually that leaves a space a silence that we try to fill um let’s try and workshop what to do in that situation certainly that pause can actually be a powerful tool if used intentionally here are a couple of strategies first acknowledge the pause you can say something like let me take a moment to consider that this lets the audience know you’re thoughtfully processing the question paraphrase the question this not only buys you time but also shows that you’re engaged for example so you’re asking about how we can balance family life while setting examples for our children 3 take a sip of water this is a simple trick to give yourself a moment to think it also appears natural in a speaking setting would you like to role play one of these strategies yes let’s do that let me make another statement social media is part of our…

Date: 2024-10-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7425596400131378448?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #196 – Candlelight Concert Experience

the past couple of nights my church the Albert Street Uniting Church in the centre of Brisbane have hosted a candlelight concert organised by Fever featuring a string quartet Paradiso Strings I was volunteering at the sound desk and I got to watch how everything came together it wasn’t just the performance was awe inspiring but the organisation too with concerts you can buy ticket come sit listen and leave that’s a transaction like the fleeting exchanges we have on social media that often leaves us feeling empty but this concert was more than the transaction it was an experience everything from the music the lighting the atmosphere audience participation was crafted to create meaning and connection think about how you can go beyond routine transactions in your life to engage in experiences that bring real meaning to enrich and light up both your life and the lives of people around you

Date: 2024-10-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7425072206746488080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #331 – cyclists and traffic police.

I just drove by this set of cyclists who are on a bike riding event of some kind it’s drizzling but they’re still on their bikes sharing a ride with their family and friends then I pass by a roundabout where two police officers are managing the traffic to keep the cyclists and motorists safe isn’t all of that something worth being grateful for I’m grateful for that this morning what are you grateful for this morning

Date: 2024-10-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7424068842743450881?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #330 – why? I have a b#t<h about the imperfections of my morning.

this morning I was all dressed up to go to a funeral for a good man who died on my way there I spilled coffee all over my suit was dripping down my pants and onto my bag so walked into a building I noticed a homeless person sleeping rough on the streets I can b#t<h about this morning about why good people have to die about the silly mistake that ruined my suit but why people sleep on the streets and why society doesn’t solve this problem but maybe these unsolvable problems are there to remind me that I don’t have all the answers the questions the frustrations the imperfections they all push me forward even when they don’t seem to have a resolution today I choose to be grateful for the mess the spilled coffee the rough sleeper the pain from grief because they remind me of the humanity we share the work I still have to do and the little kindness I can offer along the way to you and I

Date: 2024-10-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7423610690042121489?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #329 – Their stories live through us.

I’m just taking a lunch break on a busy day I just ran into a former aged care client who shared that her husband passed away and we exchange some memories and share some grief this week has been a series of notifications about death tomorrow I have a funeral for a friend at church plus there’s been news of two deaths and a miscarriage from my online connections it’s easy on busy days like this to set those things aside because people die all the time but during the rush of life maybe it’s worth sometimes to pause and remember those who touched our lives their stories live through us I hope you can share with me a joint gratitude for the meaning that people bring to our lives even if they’re no longer with us

Date: 2024-10-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7423331856017394961?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @Meng | Growth & Struggles Thanks Meng for this unique piece of writing 🤩.

I have a bully, and she’s the meanest person I’ve ever met in my life. If I do something great, she says, well, you just got lucky. That’s not repeatable. If I make a mistake, she says, huh, I am not surprised at all cause you’re that dumb. If I spend time with my kids, she tells me, you are never going to succeed in building your business if you don’t spend every waking minute on your business. And if I work on my business, she says, you’re a terrible mom. Why are you not spending time with your kids? They’re gonna grow up and hate you. She’s been bullying me for 34 years. Do you guys have any advice to get rid of her?

Date: 2024-10-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7423010700856921345?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Leong’s Growth Journal Thank you to all who left comments, and help me learn about community.

this message is a record for my kids so one day you might understand why your daddy chose to be a social media content creator five days ago I posted a video just a short one to encourage people to believe in themselves do you remember that we sat together as we watch the video go viral and comments came pouring in faster than I can read much less respond to among those comments overflowing were voices of people crying in pain people saying how alone they felt how tired they are the struggle to make it to the next day endless scrolling on social media trying to forget looking for something but not knowing what I can’t fix those I can’t take their pain away and you can’t either no matter how much pocket money you have that’s a hard thing to accept that for all the suffering we see we often powerless to fix it but we can sit with it we can feel it and let it shape us into people who understand the weight of somebody else’s burden and through that we grow sitting with someone else’s pain without turning away without retaliating without putting up a wall that’s how we learn to listen and as you listen you learn that the cozy bed and the comfy linen that you climb into every night not everyone has that you learn that the toys that clutter up our family room not everyone has that the dinners we have where we have so much food left over not everyone has to to be able to listen is to sit knowing of other people’s pain and still be able to sleep and to eat and play to be the better person tomorrow you’ll discover something strange when you go on social media the loudest voices are often the ones with the least needs those who has the most needs are often drowned out by the loudness but if you look closely you’ll find them just as we did in the comments on the video social media gives us this opportunity not to add to the noise but to silence our own and learn to listen one day you decide for yourself whether you want to be on social media you may choose not to and I’ll support you but if you do decide to be part of it I hope you remember this that the most powerful thing you can do isn’t to speak louder but to create a space where the quiet vulnerable voices can be heard if we can silence our noise we’ll discover something else those who has the least the ones who are hardest to hear are often the ones quietly supporting each other just as we saw in the comments on the video it is from them my boys that you will learn to find hope and community to all of you who left a message on my video I’m sorry I can’t respond to all of you thank you for your courage and for sharing your pain without antagonism or hate thank you for showing me and my children how you support each other and lift each other up you’ve shown us the glory of your spirit and the power of community and for that you have my gratitude I’m proud to be in the community you built

Date: 2024-10-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7422560363016686849?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #195 – Test of mindset.

I came across a good test for my mindset today I saw it on the talk show clip an interview with Billie Eilish she was asked to describe in 5 words what the rest of her life is and she chose instead to describe what she hopes will be her life so as I thought about it occurs to me that the distance between the two between what I believe will be my life compared to what I hope will be my life is how healthy my mindset is that distance reflects whether I’m living my fullest life I’ll share my 5 words in the comments instead of in this video because I want this to be about you not me what 5 words best describe the rest of your life I’d love for you to think about it and share it with our community here or with someone close to you to reflect on it it may open some doors for you it did for me today

Date: 2024-10-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7422495697624222993?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #328 – Pet Rocks

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Date: 2024-10-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7421913230970260737?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @behumble Reflection #193 – The possibilities of tomorrow.#hope

thank you that is a wonderful question if we can’t do something for ourselves today how can we do it for our kids tomorrow and my answer is that is the essence of hope the ability to work towards the possibilities of tomorrow that is not completely constrained by the limitations of today I hope you will join me

Date: 2024-10-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7421139800486464785?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #327 – who?

that’s a lot of scrolling you did to get here you looking for something maybe a little boost someone who understands what you’re going through someone who sees how hard you’re trying maybe someone to remind you what you’re worth I know that someone here it’s you

Date: 2024-10-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7420675403078962433?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #326 – Indian butter chicken lunch

I just finished preparing my Indian butter chicken lunch yummy unfortunately I also burnt two of the six tortillas I was preparing hmm should I cry over those two tortillas or should I be grateful for the beautiful lunch I prepared and go and enjoy it I think I’ll go enjoy my lunch

Date: 2024-09-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7420269524106235137?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #192 – Extraordinary results in an ordinary life

you can ABSOLUTELY achieve extraordinary results by living a happy ordinary life there are a lot of short clips and quotes on social media about needing to be extraordinary to have extraordinary results which is true but one of the problems I observe is that some people looking for answers hear these short quotes and they think they must apply it to everything if you look at most successful happy people you will see that in their lives only a small percentage of it is extraordinary they know when they need to switch on to push themselves to achieve the results but for the rest of the time they know to be in normal mode eating normal meals one mouthful at a time like normal people talking to the family and friends one word at a time like normal people going to the toilet laying in bed like normal people it is being happy in these normal routines that leads them to be able to be extraordinary when they need to be so let’s take sports achievements look at any five minute clip of an elite sports person in a game you will see that they are doing normal things almost all that time and then there’ll be a 10 15 second period when they switch on and then they give themselves the chance to be extraordinary do you ever see a highlight reel that is 100 percent of the game I mean look at how short these highlight reels are let’s look at the sportspersons’ practice how many normal moments there are doing repetitions like everyone else following their coach’s routine like everyone else working with their teammates like everyone else by having these normal routines they have the foundation to push themselves to have extraordinary practice by showing up early by leaving late by having those burst of grind that give them the edge let’s look at an intellectual activity let’s look at a master programmer writing code look at every 60 minute of them working they are writing normal code for 59 minutes of that time and then they’ll be that one minute when they get an inspiration and they write this piece of code that’s amazing look at how many of these brilliant programs there are where 99% of it is just normal code I’d say programmers who are happy spending 59 minutes writing normal code are the ones who give themselves the chance to write that one minute of brilliant code when you look at an extraordinary viral video how many boring videos went into making that one viral one you will see examples of extreme people choosing to chase achievements by trying to be extraordinary 100% of their lives they are the miserable ones and they are the ones who create more damage for themselves and for people around them than any good that they bring they are not what I define as success if we haven’t found happiness with being a normal human being living with normal people around us we haven’t yet found success I want my children to have an awesome life and one day when they’re old enough I’m going to ask them this question what kind of awesome life are you chasing do you want to chase a miserable extraordinary life or do you want to chase a happy extraordinary life a happy extraordinary life with normal routines is what I define as an awesome life

Date: 2024-09-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7420036186548260113?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @Art Therapy in Real Life Gratitude #325 – a zine for today’s gratitudes

I just posted a Zen art tutorial for folks with ADHD. Here’s how to fold a Zen with a single piece of paper. Fold the paper in half vertically, then horizontally, in the same direction. In the other direction, fold the edges inward to touch the middle. Here is where you’ll cut. Cut the center line with Scissors and then open the zine and fold it over onto itself. Flatten and decorate.

Date: 2024-09-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7419654780089371921?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #191 – Emotions running through the house

this video is about how much emotion run through my household I try to have material available in the house that help my family and I grow comfortable with emotions and vulnerabilities Our lives flourish in places where emotions are encouraged to flow and they wither when emotions are blocked and or are stunted today I received a set of emotion cards that I bought online a few days ago it’s a set of a beautifully written and illustrated emotion cards so my kids and I had this idea that we’ll spread the cards all over the floor and then pick a random one and then guess what stories are behind the cards uh by doing that we get to discuss the emotions that is linked to them and our stories that’s linked to them as well in the world today especially online emotions are triggered all the time so more than ever we need to understand emotional regulation it’s not feasible to control our emotions they will come out what I try to do is to create spaces around house where my family and I can deal with them these safe spaces should be at home with family and with close ones not on social media emotions to me are like streams if you try to block or artificially control them they will overflow and cause more damage I find a much better life and much happier life where emotions can flow freely where people are comfortable with having those emotions and where walls don’t go up every time someone feels something I think it’s worthwhile to think about how we are feeling and then especially what space and around what people we can safely explore our feelings

Date: 2024-09-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7419240399845264657?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #324 – My Fish Tank Community.

today I’m grateful for little fish joining my fish tank community I’m grateful for the new life and colour and energy they bring to the home I’m grateful for the little things

Date: 2024-09-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7418822665701428481?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #190 – the effort to make a connection.

how do you know if your effort to make a connection was worth it maybe you send a message or made a call but you didn’t get the response you expected or you didn’t get a response at all maybe you organised a catch up with friends but not everyone bothered to show up or they came but they didn’t really share what was happening in their lives and they didn’t show that they cared about what was happening in your life maybe you went to a party or a night out but you felt even more alone because there wasn’t any meaningful conversations how do you tell if it was worth it was it better instead to just stay at home and binge Netflix how do you tell if it was worth it well that’s actually a bit of a trick question you can never know if it’s worth it because a connection is a relationship and no single person can determine the value of a relationship by themselves you can’t always see what your effort to connect impacts on the other person maybe they didn’t respond this time but the fact that you reached out might make them more likely to connect the next time maybe it didn’t impact your relationship but your message or your invitation or your presence made them reach out to someone else close to them that they wouldn’t otherwise have made maybe the real change isn’t in them but in you that each time you step over that threshold to make an effort you grow every attempt makes the next connection a little easier and the next one and one after that the real value may be the connection that you make 10 steps down the line the one you wouldn’t have reached if you stayed home and binge Netflix all this matters because on every platform like the one we on now there are countless opportunities to connect with others there are many people there are many communities you might hesitate and wonder if it’s worth it to reach out what if you’re ignored what if no one responds or worse yet what if they say something hurtful what if they say what if you say something wrong and you regret it yeah those could happen but the main thing is the moment you reach out to make that connection the connection becomes worth it what happens after that is something else the part of your continuing journey but today right now the value is in your courage and your action to try

Date: 2024-09-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7418465867236707601?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #323 – Happiness.

today I’m grateful for happiness do you know what your happiness looks like let’s try this close your eyes imagine you’re in a void and in that void in front of you is a door the door is shut but you can hear something from behind it you can hear laughter softly at first but slowly as you get closer the laughter becomes louder the laughter is so genuine so infectious that it envelopes you to the stage you start laughing too all you want to do is laugh now reach out your hand open the door what do you see that’s what your happiness looks like

Date: 2024-09-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7417762285839584528?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #322 – Cupcakes and Smiles.

are you smiling enough this morning I was at my church’s Cupcake Day fundraising event now when you’re around cupcakes you smile at the end of the event one of my fellow volunteers was rubbing her cheekbones and saying they’re sore because of all the smiling now do you have days when you smile so much that your cheeks hurt we don’t have to smile only when we are lucky enough that happy things happen to us happiness can be a synthesized emotion we can manufacture it for instance by taking part in cupcake days smiling doesn’t mean that we never frown just like frowning doesn’t mean that we never smile life satisfaction comes from the balance between them and I’m betting for you just like for me we smile a bit too little and frown a bit too much so now while I have cupcakes for you how about smile

Date: 2024-09-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7417339007412997392?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #321 – Investments

today I’m grateful for investments when I was a child my parents taught me that with all of my pocket money I have to budget to spend on what I want and need and to save the rest and it is what I save that will bring me the life of my dreams when I grew up they taught me that there’s more to spending and saving that I have to have a portion that I invest and it is the investment returns that will bring me the life of my dreams when the then embarked on my own life I discovered they were not just teaching me about money that all of life is a matter of spending our resources saving enough for rainy day and investing the resources in my future be financially or in education or in relationships is what I invest my time and resources in that brings the life of my dreams so I got older I discovered the last secret it is investing not only in myself but in others and the rewards that comes back from others in abundance and being able to invest in others that is the life of my dreams

Date: 2024-09-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7416875427303574800?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @BeeJay28 You’re not late to the party at all!

hi Beejay28 you’re not late at all I only posted that video less than two months ago and I have more than 10 years of work ahead of me before my kids grow to adulthood don’t think of technology timelines of days hours and minutes think of life and relationship timelines of years and decades what we do here will likely outlast whatever technology we’re on and when those technology goes the way of MySpace and Friendster and Vine I will still be around and my kids will still be around and I hope that you will be around with us I’m glad you’re here

Date: 2024-09-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7416671019668213008?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection #189 – My Superpower.

today’s video is about my superpower can you guess what it is while you are thinking about that let me share with you my kids latest obsession they’ve been collecting these Disney World of wonder collector cards from Woolworths our local Australian grocery chain it’s part of their promotion to try and get us parents to shop there more often so each one of these cards has a character in it and today in our shopping we have these two cards Ultron and Carl Fredricksen two very different characters Ultron is a self aware artificial intelligence who has power to change civilizations and reshape the world while Carl here he’s just an old man with a balloon card he has what you and I have a bit of love and a bit of determination my kids of course want the Ultron card because he has superpowers if you were granted a wish and you can have superpowers and you can select one of these two which one would you choose no matter how much we like Carl can any of us really waste such wish and give up on the powers like ultrons most of us both kids and adults are drawn to superpowers we worship superheroes people who can do things no one else can and these include real life athletes and musicians and scholars people that can do amazing things society teaches us to find our own superpowers what makes us unique and sets us apart society needs these superheroes to lead and to create and to build I am all for my kids finding their superpowers and from them get recognition as success in life but our superpowers don’t bring us happiness true happiness i found comes from when we choose not to rely on our superpowers because how many times do we hide behind our strengths when we really need to be vulnerable how many times do we drown ourselves in our work that we’re so good at instead of working on our problems that we are not very good at Is humour your superpower that lets you side step every serious problem with a joke Is knowledge your superpower that lets you intellectualize your feelings instead of facing them his social media your superpower where you’re so good at scrolling that all your difficulties just fades away into the noise of hearing about other people’s lives my own superpower is my imagination I see possibilities when others may not and because I can do that and I have resources to act on them I can reshape the world around me but my deepest happiness came when I could have reshaped the world but I didn’t and instead I chose to stay in the messy and difficult world I find myself in I choose to use normal everyday human abilities to love to care to give attention to someone and to let them work slowly and quietly outside of my control then slowly and quietly happiness comes so anyway back to these if you had a choice as to who will solve your life problems which one will you choose you know what Ultron can do fast and powerful and efficient but do you have courage to choose Carl

Date: 2024-09-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7415593449484848400?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude #320 – Mid Autumn Festival.

today I celebrate the Mid Autumn Festival also known as the Moon Festival where we enjoy moon cakes lanterns and family feasts this festival began in ancient times as a celebration of the autumn harvest a good question to ask in today’s world is why do we still celebrate these old traditions the answer is simple they bring people together give meaning to our time together and fill us with joy when we genuinely share in them in the modern digital world we’ve had the public internet for over 40 years now and social media for more than a decade yet during this time there’s been no collective celebration that’s grounded in technology that gives our existence online that same sense of significance we need moments of celebration I’m grateful we still have the Mid Autumn Festival and I’m grateful to share it with you

Date: 2024-09-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7415202380536499472?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 319 – Motivational Quotes

today I’m grateful for the power of motivational quotes but the most meaningful quote isn’t the one on this side of screen it’s on your side trust that you have within you what it takes to push yourself forward

Date: 2024-09-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7414739583239195920?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 404 – Replacing a Flat Tire.

Overlay text on video

Date: 2024-09-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7414732202858089744?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 318 – Public Transport.

found a flat tire in my car today so today I’m grateful for public transport get sit back and enjoy the journey the river and the scenery while I have my half hour trips in and out of the city

Date: 2024-09-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7414320082714627344?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 188 – Staying attuned to a large community

CHATGPT I need your help to listen and stay tuned to my online community I’ve attached files containing recent comments from my TikTok community and I’ve also attached transcripts of all my daily reflection videos for the past year and that broadly covers my thinking and shows my capacity I want you to process and analyse all of that data and come up with a summary of where my capacity overlaps with the community’s needs based on my analysis of of both the TikTok comments and your reflection videos there is a significant overlap between your capacity and the needs of your online community as follows 1 capacity for reflection and engagement your daily reflections demonstrate a strong capacity for deep personal insight empathy and curiosity this is echoed in your community’s responses where people engage with you on topics of vulnerability kindness and self improvement both you and your community express a desire to connect over shared human experiences such as handling emotions dealing with negativity and fostering kindness 2 community need for positive reinforcement and connection many of your TikTok followers express their struggles with kindness vulnerability and the overwhelming nature of social media your reflections on kindness being a quiet force and the loneliness it can bring resonate deeply with the community which seeks reassurance that their positive actions matter and can connect them to others 3 shared concern for the impact of social media both you and your community are highly attuned to the effects of social media on mental health and emotional well being your reflections on navigating the noise of social media and staying connected in meaningful ways directly address the community’s concerns about being overwhelmed by the influx of content and their desire for more compassionate intentional interactions 4 capacity to guide through vulnerability you frequently mention the importance of processing vulnerability and fostering resilience in your reflections this mirrors the community’s need for guidance in handling difficult emotions such as feelings of inadequacy failure or rejection which are commonly brought up in comments 5 building a positive collaborative space you’ve demonstrated a strong capacity for creating a safe and positive online space and your reflections show a commitment to fostering kindness respect and meaningful connection your community appreciates this space and seeks to be part of a supportive environment which you are already providing by actively responding to comments and facilitating healthy dialogue from your knowledge of online resources give me a list of proposed programs I can build that leverage my capacity and caters to the community be brief there are some program ideas that align your capacity and meet your community’s needs 1 Kindness Chains Workshop a space to collaboratively build kindness initiatives encouraging community members to connect through shared acts of compassion both online and offline 2 Vulnerability Circles small group sessions where participants can safely explore vulnerability inspired by your reflections on processing emotions and resilience 3 social media mindfulness program a guided series that teaches how to navigate the emotional overwhelm of social media with intention and Self Care 4 Reflection Journals an interactive platform where users can share their reflections prompted by themes from your daily reflections fostering personal growth and communal understanding 5 emotional intelligence chats monthly live discussions focusing on empathy conflict resolution and managing relationships leveraging your capacity for deep engagement 6 resilience bootcamps short intensive courses helping people bounce back from setbacks and navigate negative online interactions using your reflections on resilience as a base these programs can help build meaningful engagement while also addressing key emotional and social needs within your community okay thank you I’ll talk through it with my team and I’ll seek your help if I need any more now to you within my community which one of those programs that was proposed resonate with you what appeals to you let me know love to know in the comments

Date: 2024-09-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7414012326225005841?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 187 – my patio full of junk.

look at all that junk what a mess this is my back patio not what I envisaged when I was planning to move into this house I had all these plans for drinks and barbecues and kids dancing all on this patio and I was so looking forward to it now look at it it turned out this way because on the last day of the move I ran out of time and I told the removalist just take everything and put it in new house back patio so here it is so now it’s a matter of uh sorting through the junk and cleaning this place up before I start inviting people over I mean I can’t show people all this mess right I mean what does it say about my house but the rest of the house is great though the front patio living room dining room kitchen family room all exactly as I planned it I love my house but still if people come over they’ll see this junk I can’t show them this junk once I clean it up they can come but with so much here will I ever clean it all up will I ever end up inviting anyone to my house doesn’t that sound so much like how we view ourselves and our lives all of us have a part of ourselves we want to clean up the part we don’t want other people to see I live in perpetual mode of holding off inviting people into my life to show them what I’m really like because I live in the forlorn hope that the junk inside of me I will one day clean up then I’ll be good enough to show other people only that junk never gets all cleaned up and I end up never showing others who I am because I’m not good enough no matter how nice the rest of me is I can’t show people my junk and maybe that’s useful sometimes to keep some dignity some privacy I don’t have to show every flaw to every person it’s useful to hide some things from some people but the one person I can’t hide anything from is myself I will always know the junk that sits in the dark corners of my life no matter how beautiful the rest of my house is I will always know there is junk I will know where it is and I will know what that junk looks like I live in perpetual mode of holding off inviting myself to live my own life to the fullest to show myself who I can be because I live in the forlorn hope that that junk that sits inside of me I will one day clean up then I’ll be good enough to face myself I think it’s time to start accepting that my house has a patio with junk and my house is beautiful with a patio and that junk I think it’s time for me to invite people to my house for them to see this beautiful imperfect house and I think my friends will like that

Date: 2024-09-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7413553460446072082?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @JustForFun here is what you can do for me, for our positive future?

a lot of people have asked this what can you do for this positive world that we all want at this stage all I can say is live a good life with kindness and compassion and share with your community more people out there living good lives and sharing with their communities the more positivity there will be out there and one way or the other all the algorithms and all the AI that we’re training will pick up on it at some stage in the future I will start building those programs for my children and for all children and for all adults really and and when that happens I’m sure you’ll find out about it same way you found out about this account I appreciate your positivity I appreciate you reaching out and I look forward to walking this journey with everyone

Date: 2024-09-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7413188609521634581?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 317 – Crooked Tooth.

today I’m grateful for my dentist and dental hygienist just had my 6 monthly dental clean and check I have this crooked tooth that I’ve had for a long time and needs constant attention it doesn’t look good and has to be constantly maintained and checked but it works the way it’s supposed to and helps me to eat and enjoy my meals so this tooth is like any other element of my life I can try and perfect it by going through a six month operation to try and straighten it but is it not better to accept that this imperfection is what makes me me and celebrate how it supports a beautiful life I have I look better with a crooked teeth don’t you think

Date: 2024-09-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7412870092721048833?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 316 – Moving on.

today I’m grateful for moving on I’m in the final stages of cleaning up my old house ready to move on to my next house so many memories here so many videos I made here going to miss the birds especially but as I close this chapter I’m reminded that change is part of growth and moving forward brings new experiences and new joys while I’ll miss how comfortable and how familiar this place is I’m grateful for the lessons that it’s given me for the peace that it offered and the chance to move on in an uplifting way to my next home

Date: 2024-09-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7412546593540394256?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 186 – What happened to your kindness?

what happened to your kindness what made it hide so deep inside you do you remember the time you could love without hesitation when you could reach out and connect with a smile without fear what was it like long ago when the world was safe and you can speak and laugh and be kind without holding back those are the questions I fear one day I might have to ask my own children I dread the possibility that they will lose their connection to the love and compassion that they were born with allows them to connect genuinely with someone else and by doing so bring each other joy that worries me a lot if that day comes maybe the algorithm will bring them to this video what change you that made the kindness go away was it the noise in the world the harsh and hateful words the endless critics it is so easy to build walls to protect yourself to let kindness retreat when the world doesn’t look safe anymore I understand but I know the kindness is still in you because I can see you are still listening can you forgive those who hurt you and in doing so forgive yourself for being trapped by it all will you hold my hand and we walk together here in this corner we build a space safe for us it doesn’t take grand steps kindness isn’t about perfection you don’t have to get it right every time those small moments will add up those times when you choose to hold back on giving a nasty comment the times you encourage someone with a small hooray the times you choose to lift someone up when the world tells you to tear them down you don’t have to stay hard you don’t have to let the world make you cold you can choose to show up differently little by little day by day walk with me together and find your kindness again

Date: 2024-09-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7412427797056064769?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @𝓢𝓮𝓿 𝓕 voice actor…🤔

I’m telling my own stories at the moment so I don’t have to learn how to act being a voice actor hmm a few people have said that here maybe one day when I retire I would love to make all audio books of great writing or poetry anyway I appreciate the compliments maybe one day

Date: 2024-09-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7412221642014821633?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 315 – Growth.

today I’m grateful for growth still rummaging through old stuff in my old house sorting things out and um most of these I expect will go to the tip but one set of things that are very valuable to me are things that reflects growth in the family things that we learnt things that makes us better people I’ll show you some of them here’s a set of diagrams where we learned about ourselves and the world around us and then here are some balls and ball games we learned about our bodies and how our body responds and puzzles where we learn to problem solve in life is not where we start off and where we end up it’s the growth that matters

Date: 2024-09-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7411892843641392401?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 185 – Connections through Technology.

this reflection is about the use of technology to enhance our humanity like to introduce you to someone I met online today the mum wife and coach named Daniela and through one of her videos I like to talk about the powerful ways that technology can connect us first I’ll need help of chatgpt hi chatgpt I just attached a transcript of a video from TikTok video is a conversation between a mother and a child but it’s in the Czech language I don’t understand it can you explain to me what they’re talking about in this deeply personal conversation the mother shares a heartfelt story with her child opening up about her own struggles and growth she recalls how despite her love for the Czech language she had a difficult time with physics more than that she recounts an experience where a teacher dismissed her dreams of working in radio or television telling her she would never succeed this left the lasting impact on her and she carried that doubt for a long time the mother’s voice in this conversation is one of vulnerability but also strength she explains to her child how hard it was to believe in herself after that experience and how it took her years to regain confidence but eventually she found herself working in television where she received recognition for her talents and that moment of validation helped her realize she had always been good enough by sharing this personal journey the mother is offering her child a crucial life lesson other people’s judgements whether in school or beyond do not define who you are or what you can achieve her message is to hold on to self belief even in the face of discouragement and to nurture the things that truly bring joy and meaning the intimacy of the moment is palpable as the mother encourages her child to embrace their own path without letting others negativity shake their confidence it’s a touching moment of connection where the mother is not just offering advice but also showing her child that she too has faced challenges and that they can grow stronger together through these shared experiences I am grateful for the lesson that Daniela gave me today through her video she and her daughter showed me a way of conversation that’s different from my own with my children and be able to see it and reflect on it helped me work out ways that I can improve in the way I communicate Daniela and I are from different cultures and we speak different languages and we would not have connected with our platforms like TikTok and tools like Chat G P T her video to me is unique and I’ve never seen that parent child connection and bonding that in the English and Chinese speaking world that I live in but the technology opens up the doorway between her world and mine and I get to have the opportunity to view her video and learn from it I know that in her video her daughter is conscious of the device that’s in front of them the conversation is mediated with the device in front of them recording the conversation if the conversation had not been recorded it may not have happened at all or it would have happened in a different way I hope to learn from them just how their lives work with the camera in front of them my videos influences my conversation with my kids too I don’t allow them in front of the camera on public videos but they film me doing my gratitude and they video themselves doing gratitude and then we get to talk a lot about gratitude and the devices sit alongside us and they mediate our lives and they build our bonds just like my mum and I bonded over the rice cooker many years ago and um that I cuddle up to my dad in his armchair watching TV we bonded through that my dad passed away 6 years ago that I can’t look for him and cuddle up to him in his armchair to watch tv anymore but his YouTube videos and YouTube channel still exist now I can still hear him through his videos I can still have conversations with him through his online channel we still communicate because of those memories that is enhanced by technology just like my own videos the thousands of them will always be around and my kids and I will always talk through them lot is made of the hype about the dangers of technology and we do have to be very careful but we don’t have to fear it so today I’m glad I made a connection to Daniela through technology I’m glad to have learnt about how she connects with her daughter through technology which reminds me of how I connect with my children and my parents through technology I hope that you will look for ways to enhance your connections too through technology

Date: 2024-09-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7411456418802437377?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 403 Old family photos

IMAGE

Date: 2024-09-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7411454946261863681?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 184 – Too many voices.

do you ever get tired trying to pay attention to so many voices online let me recount to you two related experiences that I had recently that is on this point first was today I went to IKEA and I was at the self checkout I scan and carefully place each item neatly into my trolley so that I can transfer them into my car in one go but after I finish a security guard came over to check my receipt against what was in my trolley and without saying a word she began shifting to the stuff in the trolley to get to the bottom and in the process she made a mess I grimace but she didn’t notice because she never even looked up she got she just rummaged through finished and moved on to the next person which left me feeling a bit miffed now was that rude nor was she just doing her job before you answer that let me recount to you the second experience two weeks ago removalist came to help me move house and they were two very polite young men and at the start of the day we had to communicate a lot as they started doing their work after each each exchange I would thank them and they would respond with um you’re welcome or no problem something like that but as the day wore on I noticed that as I continue to thank them they gradually stopped responding they just kept their heads down did their work quietly and it’s as if they’ve switched on autopilot again same question were they rude now both these encounters showed me something about dealing with people whether it’s a security guard or the movers they interact with other people all day and eventually they switch off I don’t think it’s out of rudeness but it’s because they have to cope be tune out to get through the day and that to me is what happens online amplified we’re constantly bombarded with voices and messages and opinions each one demanding our attention and at first it’s fun we engage but after a while it’s only natural to switch off and even when we think we’re paying attention really we’ve stopped listening how can we connect meaningfully in a world where we’re all tuning out and more importantly how can we be kind when we are flooded with so much noise when our minds are over stimulated and our attention are stretched thin kindness goes out the window it takes patience to acknowledge someone to actually hear them patience disappears as we struggle to keep up with the deluge of triggers we start to operate on autopilot just as the security guard and movers did autopilots are cold and sterile not warm and kind so as we move on to the next video and the next and the next do a little bit of noticing about the voices you hear are they overwhelmed are you overwhelmed listening to them is there space to communicate to listen and to respond in kindness

Date: 2024-09-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7411247430102043905?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @luna Reflection Day 183 – the loneliness of kindness.

hi Luna I hope you see from the amount of comments from the community here that being kind isn’t a lonely activity I understand kindness can feel lonely a lot of times because it often needs vulnerability and empathy that takes time to develop all the opposite hate tends to draw immediate reactions it lights a fire and makes people feel like they’re together because they share the negativity like a mob or a cult kindness however is a quiet force that may not get a response straight away and so leaves us feeling isolated or misunderstood where we don’t get the response we are looking for social dynamics of kindness it often depends on long term connections and trust but I hope you persist with your kindness ultimately the long term impact is that it brings joy joy that’s deep and lasting for those of you watching this video if you ever felt this loneliness of being kind about responding to Luna’s message a simple like or few words of encouragement can let her know that she’s not alone and it helps the algorithm connects us over kindness and most importantly we remind ourselves that we are not powerless in the struggle between kindness and hate

Date: 2024-09-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7410841040443297041?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 314 – Reflections.

today I’m grateful for little things like reflections I just noticed this on my bathroom sink how very interesting

Date: 2024-09-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7410074733061901576?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @mauricekaram1 Reflection Day 182 – Why we build.

yes it’s infuriating when we build something and someone higher up comes along and messes it up but as I say to my kids we don’t build for the guarantee that what we build will not be destroyed we build because it means something to us to build it and it means something to the people that we build it for the path to building everything new and worth building will be laden with obstacles and our actions will be filled with mistakes the path will be filled with failures we build it anyway and when someone destroys it we will build it again together you and I

Date: 2024-09-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7409847387285507335?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Follow up to Account Introduction video: @Leong’s Growth JournalThank you for your positive engagement and inspiration

let me show you your power to move the Internet three weeks ago I made a video introducing my account the results have been overwhelming and I’ve read every one of your comments but instead of me telling you about it let’s ask ChatGPT to do it I’ve just attached a video script and comments for that script that’s on TikTok can you give me a summary of background of people who responded the people who respond to video come from a wide range of backgrounds including parents grandparents young adults and professionals like teachers and engineers artists and community workers they represent various countries including Australia Germany Italy South Africa and more indicating a global reach many are concerned about the impact of social media on children and society and they share a common desire to create a kinder more compassionate world this community is diverse in age profession and location united by shared values of empathy kindness and the well being of future generations how is this community different from most common communities on TikTok this community is different from most common communities on TikTok because it is centered around deep meaningful connections and shared values rather than trends or entertainment your community is built on thoughtful dialogue about important issues like kindness compassion and the future of children in the digital age the members are not just seeking entertainment but are actively engaging in discussions that resonate with their personal values and life experiences creating a more reflective and purpose driven space that stands out from the more trend driven or surface level interactions typical on TikTok what are the main messages they’re telling me the main messages the community is telling you are that they resonate deeply with your vision of creating a kinder more compassionate online world they appreciate your focus on meaningful connections and share your concerns about the impact of social media on children and society they value the safe positive space you are creating and are eager to be part of it contributing their own experiences and perspectives overall they are telling you that your message is needed and appreciated and they want to join you in making the online world a better place give me examples of voices that I can learn and grow from from the comments you can learn and grow from the comments by listening to the skeptics who question the feasibility of your vision as they can help you ground your message in reality and prepare for potential challenges realists who emphasize the need to prepare children for harsh realities can guide you in balancing positivity with resilience ensuring your message is both hopeful and practical voices of experience especially from older or seasoned community builders offer insights into sustaining your vision over time while different cultural perspectives can broaden your understanding and make your message more inclusive let’s be clear I didn’t form this community you did I just made a video you formed this community by listening and thinking and using your voice to engage you have this power to lift the online world wherever you are with this one set of video interactions when I go forward with my life and my work and I want to remind myself what does a positive world look like I will refer to you when my company who does youth programs and aging services when my team looks to understand what a positive online community looks like we will refer to you when we design our systems when we discuss our plans your voice is what we will use and when one day my children are old enough to be on social media and they ask are there nice people on the Internet well I can say yes look here they are I made a video 3 weeks ago for a long term 10 year goal of finding a positive community for my children in 3 weeks I have found it thank you I will continue to work to build what you have inspired me to build

Date: 2024-09-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7409682423157509384?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 313 – Father’s Day.

it’s Father’s Day in Australia today and today I’m grateful for all the fathers and father figures everywhere got this card from my boys and I think about my own dad who passed away and I can’t write him cards anymore one thing I learnt from my dad is that among all the success and achievements we have it is the way we treat each other and the love we show one another of ordinary moments that shapes the world around us I hope that over time my boys will make better and better cards but no matter how good their cards get you won’t change one bit the depth of love that I have for them I hope that they too will love themselves for their ordinary selves whatever their extraordinary achievements and they won’t need to go online to seek validation from comparisons to other people’s achievements

Date: 2024-08-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7409318070969257223?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 312 – Making a Mess.

tonight I’m grateful for making a mess few days ago my family and I had the idea to create an Imagination Tree in the middle of our living room it’s now implemented the idea with the tree that we sit under and around books comfy cushions and bean bag pet rocks and marbles notes and pen and clips to write our ideas on mushroom stool and trays to write on coloured paper and so on with all of that comes a big mess as we experiment with our ideas and it’s annoying having to do the clean up but a mess means something’s being used and being done and being engaged with that is something I’m grateful for

Date: 2024-08-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7408832778193620231?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 311 – Controlling chicken in the oven.

just burned the chicken it’s a new house and a new oven and the timer didn’t work as I expected just discovered it’s overcooked and dinner’s out the window so now let’s see what gratitude can come out of this first of all I’m grateful I discovered this before it turned into charcoal and set off the fire alarm and create a big mess secondly I’m grateful for the flexibility to adapt regardless of what happened I’m gonna have dinner tonight and a setback like this means I have to be more creative as to what’s in the fridge or what’s in the pantry or it could be Uber Eats tonight I’m also grateful to be reminded that imperfections are part of life it’s easy to get caught up sometimes trying to control everything and the great stress in life comes from trying to control something and realising we can’t control everything I’m grateful that imperfections keep telling me that joy is elsewhere not in control and lastly I’m grateful to share my overcooked chicken with you it can’t be eaten but it sure makes good videos

Date: 2024-08-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7408730626263715080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Tim Reflection Day 181 – is there positive content on social media? @Courageously Kind @Happiness Project@jenn💜 good news & fun stories @David the Grateful Guy@Terrence Ho @Art Therapy in Real Life @Dr Julie | Psychologist@Lubna Al Sisi

does social media have content with compassion kindness hope courage with our vulnerabilities and respect for each other hi Tim thanks for your question is a very good one my answer is absolutely you see social media algorithms are very good at showing us what we click on and what we engage with it cannot read our minds it does not know what we like or what we want or what we need so we have to intentionally click and engage with things we actually want the world to have not the ones that we are triggered to click on if you go to my accounts page and look at the list of creators I follow you will see a lot of positive wholesome content that there is Maddie and Liz from Courageously Kind who has a whole body of videos and content promoting kindness in the world there is The Happiness Project and Jen the Good News Girl who post messages about happiness and reports on good uplifting things that are happening there’s David the Grateful Guy and Terrence Ho in Canada who have been posting gratitudes each day for many many years there’s Amelia the Art Therapist there’s Doctor Julie Smith there are also people who have small followings who just post positive things happening in their lives and today just a moment ago I came across like an account with only one video with low views and the message is so unique and inspiring I followed her so the answer is yes there is content there are positive and wholesome and suitable for our own unique taste but we have to interact with them so the social media code and algorithm knows to keep finding them and showing it to us is there enough content no there isn’t enough but that’s why we’re here for the positive content to grow requires us to work to grow the world we want not the world we don’t I’m glad to meet so many of you through this account and I hope and I believe that in your world in your lives are people places events and content that you can build a positive world around I look forward to hearing about them so if you are happy to share them with me thank you again for the question

Date: 2024-08-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7408484145359342855?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 180 – The Story of the Wise Old Nun.

let me tell you a story about a boy’s search for wisdom once upon a time there was a boy who lived at foot of a mountain at the top of the mountain was an old nun renowned across the land for being wise and she would answer all questions posed by anyone who can make it up the mountain to see her since he was very little the boy wanted to be like this wise old nun believing that if he could just ask her for secret to her wisdom he could become wise like her for years the boy tried to climb the mountain but the trek was too onerous for his little body so each time he failed and returned home he never gave up and every year he trained harder his body grew stronger and each time he made it just a little higher up the mountain at last when he came of age and his body was strong enough he finally scaled to the peak and arrived at the doorstep of the wise nun the nun greeted the boy and said for years I’ve watched you toil to get here what is it that so consumes you that you wish to ask me the boy said teach me the secret to wisdom the wise old nun paused looked at a boy and said I don’t know teach me

Date: 2024-08-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7408093968405237010?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 310 – Imagi3 I am grateful for our imagination and ideas.

today I’m grateful for imagination and ideas here’s the latest one I just had I’m still unpacking after moving and setting up my living room here but I have this idea that that artificial tree there instead of going to the corner over there where I planned it I’m going to leave it in the middle of the carpet there and have cushions and the bean bag there and I’ll put a bookshelf on the far end the kids I can lie there read books relax and wonder about the world and the best thing about it is I’m going to name this tree imagine tree that spelt I-M-A-G I-3 for the imagination tree so no doubt when the kids get that idea they’ll run along and change it but that’s the idea I have now and you’re the first one to hear it what do you think

Date: 2024-08-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7407761830841453842?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 309 – Sunset in traffic jam

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Date: 2024-08-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7407454266719243538?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 308 – home move. Things do get better.

the day has gibsaotfinally arrived and I’ve moved house the removalist truck came this morning and I’ve had a tiring day moving I’ll be living out of boxes next few days and it’s now eleven PM and I still struggling to put my bed back together again so what’s there to be grateful for situation like this well I’m grateful that pain from life changes like moving house doesn’t last forever that’s what I’m grateful for I’ll be even more grateful if I have a bed

Date: 2024-08-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7406896487751257351?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 307 – Comments and Connections

today I’m grateful for comments and well wishes people leave on my videos sometimes we might be misled into thinking that a short message or few emojis can’t do much it all seems very superficial right I think of it similar to when I’m working on my front yard and sometimes strangers pass by and they say something simple like what a wonderful sunset or I love the plants you have in your yard and I smile back and I say thank you and they go on their way the significance of the exchange is not how long or short it is it is that someone said something in a genuine wish to connect and I respond with a genuine appreciation of connection life essentially is built out from countless number of these genuine connections thank you for your comments

Date: 2024-08-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7406655613100395784?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 402 Sushi

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Date: 2024-08-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7406587840106188039?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 306 – Celebrate weddings

I just did the audiovisual tech support to broadcast a wedding uh from my church today I’m grateful and I celebrate weddings quite few people online have said to me before how can someone who has gone through the pain of divorce all the things can go wrong in marriages when 30% of marriages end in divorce in Australia 40% in the US still celebrate this endeavor well marriage is an imperfect enterprise but look at it this way look at the pressures of families in today’s society the cost of living the demands on balancing work and life the challenges of raising children with the crazy online world we have with all these factors stacked against couples 60 to 70% of them can keep it going and make it work what other human enterprise can you think of with that type of success rate life is what we make of it our stories turn out how we choose to tell it my kids came out of a marriage and I was I will always tell their story including the imperfections as a positive one so today I celebrate weddings and marriages

Date: 2024-08-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7406498475094904072?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 179 – Humming in the car.

how attuned are you to people around you I’ve had this interesting experience the past few weeks there’s been quite a lot of things on my mind in recent times none more so than the packing I have to do for moving house the removalist will be here in 2 days and still so much to do so in the car a few times driving my kids to and from school I have been thinking about a lot of things without realising that I’ve been doing it and the kids have picked up on it and they ask what’s going on first I was surprised and I said the common nothing just thinking and this happened a few times and so I asked him in response you know why do you think something is going on and the main thing that they said is that I’m not humming which again I didn’t realise I do while driving so apparently that’s one of the cues to them that things are okay when I’m humming and me being silent means that something is not okay especially when I do normally hum in the car apparently so we have a term that we use in the family for when we share relaxed family time and that is called we call it the Yippee mode the kids were asking me why I was not in Yippee mode so that made me realize that I wasn’t thinking I was worrying which is a different thing a lot less productive it’s useful for me to know that I was worrying while I was driving because I have to solve what’s worrying me rather than trying to solve it by worrying so the other important thing that I want to share here is that my kids were tuned to something like a change in my default mode that they can detect something that to me is quite subtle and they can communicate about it kids have much higher capacity for interpersonal relationships than we give them credit for I think a lot of us adults lose this capacity as we age because we worry about so many things we stop paying attention to people around us and and what’s happening with them and it’s just too tiring and we especially stop communicating what we’re detecting about other people and that’s unfortunate so I hope I can learn for my own kids about the capacity to attune I hope I can help them be comfortable so they can retain this capacity to be attuned to what to people around them and I hope I can make myself comfortable so that I can be attuned as well if nothing else to be attuned to them but also to everyone else around me

Date: 2024-08-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7406368918530526471?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 401 –Pet Rocks

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Date: 2024-08-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7406234191026801927?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 305 – Savouring my breaks! I am grateful for break between heavy work.

today I’m grateful for taking breaks I’ve just spent the whole morning packing and moving furniture so now it’s time for me to to take a break here’s a sundae it’s called Cookie Monster savour your breaks

Date: 2024-08-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405930836400278802?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @Memo Reflection Day 178 – Hope.

Hi, memo. Thanks for your perspective. I’m glad you’re here sharing it. You could be right or I could be right or both of us could be wrong some days. I believe exactly what you believe, that humans are flawed, opportunistic beings. But whatever I believe, it doesn’t change what I do, doesn’t change the next action I take or the action after that. That to me is where hope comes from, to act even when I’m filled with doubts. I’m lifted by your sharing and that you obviously care about how people behave. I believe in you and many people just like you. I look forward to working on the future with you.

Date: 2024-08-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405791794186767634?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 304 – Libraries and comic books.

today I’m grateful for libraries especially the comic book section

Date: 2024-08-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405453724367228167?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 400 – The River.

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Date: 2024-08-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405452669608889607?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 177 – Immersed in the River of Life.

let me tell you about the river of life it’s a metaphor for mindfulness where a lot of my reflections come from I like thinking I use my imagination a lot and engaging in thought brings a lot to my life but one thing about thinking as much as I do is that there is a downside I need to manage all those thoughts from becoming messy from pitfalls like overthinking and ruminations years ago I came upon mindfulness practices and the use of meditation as a way to manage my thoughts and the emotions that are associated with them that was a very useful development in my life and my lifestyle and that’s something I recommend to a lot of people who thinks a lot like me one metaphor of mindfulness that appeals to me is to see life as a flowing river the aim of regular meditation then is to practice being able to sit beside the water like what I’m doing now and let the water pass without being swept away by the current that’s a useful skill to build to focus on breath and be a curious observer and to watch a lot of turmoil stuff go by and it brought me calm and clarity and it brought me an awareness got me in touch with what is important about myself but as I continued with my practice something changed I found that as soon as I step out of my meditation and step back into my daily life the sense of being in touch often slips away it’s good having those moments sitting by the bank and watching the river and the water go by but life isn’t on the banks of the river life is actually in the water It’s in the currents and the waves that push and pull us in different directions sometimes the water is warm sometimes it’s cold sometimes I’m floating enjoying the flow and sometimes I’m drowning in the turbulent water it became clear to me that for me anyway having a practice of just sitting beside the river wasn’t enough for me I want and I need to be in the water and navigating the river itself moment to moment and so my mindfulness practice began to evolve and I start using it not just as a tool to reflect after something’s happened or before something happens but as a way to engage with life as it is happening I call this um immersion in a sense immersion in the river of life I move from trying to stay on the bank of the river observing the water to immersing myself in it and when I’m immersed in this river I’m not trying to stay dry or to avoid getting swept away I’m in the water I’m feeling every ripple and every wave I am using my reflection as my guide whether the water is calm or is turbulent I work to stay present acknowledging the way it shakes me and the directions that takes me a lot of times it takes me where I don’t expect and I can’t control that my job is to learn to swim and to learn how to move with the current to adapt where it takes me so sometimes along the way I come across interesting things like leaves and branches and shells and stones and pebbles I hang on to them because they’re nice to have but sometimes I have to let those things go because the river is turbulent and it’s telling me I need to let those things go some parts of the river is so turbulent that I can drown and I watch out for those parts I also don’t swim alone the most important part about the river is that I swim with other people is about who I swim with and from this river comes endless experiences and opportunities and challenges and I think about them I find meaning in them I’m grateful for them and reflecting on the moment to moment help me learn to navigate to build my muscles to swim and from there I find strength and I learn about my weaknesses and most of all from there I find joy my reflection practice is what produces the videos that you’re watching now what is your river like and where is your river taking you today

Date: 2024-08-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405149700111879432?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @today.iam.grateful Appreciate your work! Smile Day 399.

We’re all in this together. We’re all looking at the same moon.

Date: 2024-08-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7405143865851645191?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 303 – My Aquarium.

today I’m grateful for my aquarium it was a two day operation moving it to my new house here uh it is in a central location where is visible from every part of the ground floor from the front door there all the way to the kitchen to dining area to the back patio a house is supposed to be alive and the fishes make it so even when us people are not around

Date: 2024-08-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404770697232370962?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 398 – Book Reading. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, by Charlie Mackesy

Hello, I’m so small, said the mole. Yes, said the boy. But you make a huge difference. What do you want to be when you grow up? Kind, said the boy. What do you think success is? Asked the boy. To love, said the mole. Well, hello. Do you have a favourite saying? Asked the boy. Yes, said the mole. What is it? If at first you don’t succeed, have some cake. I see. Does it work every time?

Date: 2024-08-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404706489576803591?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 176 – Tree Stumps for Happiness.

I’m putting these tree stumps into my new backyard these stumps came from a tree we had to chop down many years ago in our old house because the tree was a hazard and we kept a lot of the stumps to make our backyard playground there’s no cost and uh give the kids a lot of fun the kids want this back patio space uh for the dancing to be left open for that um that’s not how adults usually use a space like this so I suppose it’ll turn into a compromise where keep half of it left open for the dancing and the other half use as a normal barbecue setup one thing I’ve noticed about uh children is that there’s no difference between their level of joy and happiness when they’re playing with the free stuff like uh tree stumps and open spaces compared to when they play with expensive stuff uh like their ipads and their Lego sets and other toys they get they are just as engaged they laugh the same way they seem to get the same level of satisfaction however it is a lot easier initially to get them onto the expensive stuff especially the ipads partially I think because they are gameified and they have rewards and they have levels and they have achievements and there’s merchandise around it and so on and so forth we use a lot of these game elements to create educational experiences for kids now and they are shown to be effective in terms of helping kids learn but the downside of our success with these expensive toys is that we feel less inclined to develop the less flashy stuff you know like tree stumps um building a habit of play with simple materials uh like these stumps uh takes effort um it involves setting up the space as I said uh creating a routine um having time to be together building our relationship while we’re together I think if we don’t do it over time when our brains keep doing more ipads and less tree stumps our brains will start associating happiness with those quick rewards and achievements that we can get from the flashy toys so adults are like that too why work to build a walk in a park as our routine to keep us happy when we can get an immediate dose from social media sometimes we are victims of our own success with tools devices that had how effective they are to get us exactly what our brains crave moment to moment so anyway I’ll get back to my tree stunts

Date: 2024-08-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404651572174556434?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 302 – The power of community

today I’m grateful for the power of community and the thoughtful use of that power can you tell when a community turns into a mob seems to be quite common now through the power of online connections that communities engaging in harmless banter and fun can quickly turn into mobs that target individuals let’s all be mindful of the power we hold in this little phone on our hand and keep our communities supportive and kind

Date: 2024-08-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404342449960652050?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @school bus Reflection Day 175 – Interpreting Comments

I received this nice message on TikTok this morning from user school bus for my intro video to this account the link to the video and his full comments are in the video description below the message was supportive in that it recognises I what I said I hope to do and it had constructive suggestions for instance on cyber safety it was worded in a respectful and empathetic way I want thank him for the positive engagement he’s not the only one who sends me positive message like this the this is normal for messages I received and I wanna thank everyone who does it but one reason for me singling out this message from this morning uh is to reflect on my reaction to it when I read it there is something there for me to learn and perhaps there’s something there for you as well when I read the message I could see all the positive things in the message but beyond that I could also detect there was something else for instance when he suggests that I prepare my children for world beyond my own is he implying that I’m not doing that when he tells me about the dangers of the broader internet is he saying I’m not aware of them when he doesn’t comment on my videos main message of building communities is he dismissing my main point it is worthwhile for me to mindfully sit with these questions and with these feelings where did they come from are they in the message they clearly are not so why am I receiving them uh it is because people close to me have said the same things to me in the past and I was annoyed by that it is because I myself and insecure and fearful whether I can protect my children from the world that they are growing up into the clearest indication that these negative interpretations are not from the sender but instead coming from inside me is that I can ask the same questions of every message I read and I will get the same negative interpretations these are unresolved issues in here and in here they are my insecurities and my vulnerabilities my flaws that are a part of me being human I cannot get rid of them but I can however be conscious of them as much as I can and have some ways to size sep them side step them to avoid acting on them in terms of my broad aims of trying to build a positive world for my kids there are many places already out there with very hateful messages and it will take a lot of effort to counter them my first job though is I think to prevent my own space from being infected by my own negativity from my own vulnerabilities and in this case prevent my negative interpretations from stopping me making a positive connection so again thank you School Bus for your engagement and for allowing me to use your comments in this video I want also to thank everyone who sends me messages like this and let you know that it makes a big difference when trying to build a positive world to engage with people who sends positive messages I look forward to more positive engagement with you in the future

Date: 2024-08-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7404314558032137490?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 397 – Korean cheeseburger on a sunny afternoon

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Date: 2024-08-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404042434981694727?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 174 – Blaming Uber Eats

at lunch today I did an order for sushi with Uber Eats from a restaurant nearby and I finished the order and left it and only to find when I came back to my phone 30 minutes later that the restaurant had cancelled the order so my family was then running late and uh but I did have a look again I estimated I can still get another order in and have that delivering time so I did that and a few minutes later I got another message saying that my order was cancelled again so I was a bit miffed I gave up and I just quickly cooked some eggs and noodles and we had that and we packed up to leave for the afternoon as we were about to leave a sushi order arrived now I’m really annoyed and thinking you know what a mess up you know either with the platform or with the restaurant since we had to leave I couldn’t send a complaint straight away but I was already drafting a nasty complaint in my head as I drove off so later when I did have chance to check the app for at the transactions turns out that only the first order was cancelled the second order was all normal it just looks like the second order was cancelled because the confirmation came through for the cancellation of the first order after I finish like rushing and doing the second order so if I had checked the con the cancellation message I would have realised it was for the first order and I would have seen then the second order was still going and it’s about to be and it would be delivered so it was actually my fault now what is worthwhile I think to share with you is the moment when I made when I became aware that something was wrong and that moment when the delivery arrived my first reaction is to blame is to blame the restaurant for messing it up or to blame Uber Eats platform for the confusion although I’m intellectually aware that it’s normal for me for or for any human being to do this being aware doesn’t make that instinct go away so when problems arise rarely is the first instinct something rational or fair first instinct is frustration then there is to rush to blame and um and to find an external cause for my irritation not it’s not my fault that’s a reaction I’ve noticed many times before um it’s like a defence mechanism the world is easier to handle when the problem is somewhere else right so the instinct to blame is something for me to keep working on how many times have I jumped to conclusions only to later find then I am at least partially responsible and then that’s a humbling thought and it’s not a nice feeling and this one that I think is worth sitting on for a while just to uh prompt some improvements I’m sharing this with you because maybe you have some moments like what I had today maybe we can work on it together so there’s no harm done this time I didn’t make any complaints at least my family still had sushi and for dinner if not for lunch some consolation but I hope my experience was is useful for you as well and thanks for listening

Date: 2024-08-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7404014949866949895?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 301 – Green-coloured milk.

today I’m grateful for my favourite milk flavour which is mint I have this thing for green coloured milk to really work out what’s going on there but um I can’t be wasting all my energy trying to figure out every quirky thing about myself so it’s green coloured milk for me

Date: 2024-08-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7403718158193872146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 396 – Joke Books

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Date: 2024-08-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7403675384140565767?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 300 – Milestones.

today I’m grateful for milestones this is the 300th entry in my gratitude journal if this is showing up on your feed then you’re part of the journey too and if you made it this far in the video without scrolling off that means gratitude resonates with you in however small ways celebrate that celebrate you take a moment to see you have a worthwhile place in the world and you belong

Date: 2024-08-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7403608752076623112?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 173 – Why is there so much hate on the Internet?

why is there so much hate on the internet that’s a good question maybe I can answer it best this way I remember when my kids were little we went to a lake near our house they were so excited to go see the fish and the frogs but when we got there the water was murky and we didn’t see a thing so they were sad and they asked why is the water so cloudy what they were really asking is why can’t they see the fish and the frogs I didn’t know it could be because there’s sediment at the bottom or the current was too strong or maybe other kids have been throwing rocks into the water but one thing I knew is that we can’t control the current or the water or the sediment or other kids with rocks so instead we went to a garden close by and it was beautiful and full of life and we had a wonderful time now I remember the next day we returned to the lake and the water was clear and we could see the fish and frogs and it was just as beautiful as we remembered it I’ve been on the internet for 25 years and different parts of the internet can be like that lake sometimes it’s murky and full of things we don’t understand and full of things we can’t control but just like we didn’t throw rocks into the lake and we didn’t throw rocks at other kids we know of places that’s beautiful to us and we went there instead and one day the murkiness will clear and we will see the beauty that’s always been there

Date: 2024-08-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7402940117867908359?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 395 – Orange poppyseed cake

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Date: 2024-08-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7402877415023742216?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 299 – Muddy Shoes

today I’m very grateful for my very muddy shoes that shows a morning of work dismantling my monkey bars to move it from my family to another family

Date: 2024-08-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7402871272532741383?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 172 – Monkey Bars.

today I’m selling this Monkey Bar set it’s been a big part of my family and my backyard for so many years it’s raining so we’re going to have a very wet time dismantling it it’s a strange just how a collection of metal can hold so many memories when we first bought it I had these visions of my kids swinging from bar to bar and doing the swings and laughing and and that by and large has happened the Monkey Bar set has been more than a playground for us it’s a set of countless adventures and I remember watching my kids being turned into little monkeys and pirates and superheroes adventures and there are their imagination have turned the bars into jungles and ships and skyscrapers and all sorts of places and it’s also been a lot of scrape knees and and little injuries that and tears when with the frustration that they can’t do something that they wanted to do but the years have passed and the kids have used it less and less and the house that we’re moving to doesn’t have the flat ground I have here to put the set so it has to go so as we prepare for the move and I am reminded of the importance of moving forward just as the kids have grown outgrown all the climbing and the swings I realise it’s okay to let go of physical objects of things and hold on to other the other stuff that’s more significant the memories will remain and embedded in our hearts and minds and they will continue to bring joy so I hope the new family who’s coming now to pick it up and to buy the monkey bars will create their own set of wonderful memories as for us my family will move on and we’ll find new adventures and new challenges and new joys new laughter and new tears and scrapes and injuries so it reflects where we are and where we will go so it means saying goodbye to the old and making room for new the new so thank you monkey bars for the countless smiles and the challenges that we overcome and the lessons that we learnt we will miss it and but the memories will live on

Date: 2024-08-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7402537656380411143?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Dat 394 – Glass Dome

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Date: 2024-08-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7402461985708854546?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 298 – Shelter.

winds are gusting today so today I’m grateful for shelter to keep us from those storms and very strong weather patterns

Date: 2024-08-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7402208556872715538?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @. Reflection Day 170 – Computer Science and human beings.

so the question is how has computer science influenced my comprehension of the world thanks for the question it’s a good one I think computer science and the current wave of technologies arising from it are very good at certain types of tasks the type of tasks that scientists and engineers like to bury their heads into that wins them Nobel Prizes and these days give them a lot of attention and a lot of funding however the majority of important tasks that exist are beyond the scope of computer science and most scientists and engineers seem to shy away from them sometimes run away in the other direction as quickly as they can but these are tasks done by the majority of human beings so tasks like uh solving conflicts like uh cleaning up messes like uh preserving hope changing diapers trying to figure out contradictory instructions so if you look up areas like um common sense knowledge or um affective computing you’ll find that computer science who tries to tackle these things never get very far so what computer science then have taught me as a whole is that human beings are amazing but we are misled into undervaluing the amazing things that we do and that’s why I’m here to show my kids how amazing they are I hope you know that you are amazing as well thanks for the question

Date: 2024-08-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7402106307978792210?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 297 – Rain and Earth Today I am grateful for rain, how it tells us that the Earth is alive.

today I’m grateful for rain how it tells us that the earth is alive

Date: 2024-08-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7401757012993887495?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Art Therapy in Real Life Facing disasters with hope and resilience.

I’m on week 2 of being evacuated from my home as wildfires threaten my town in the slow can. Hi, Amelia. I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I hope you, your family and your community are holding up well, I suppose as well as the difficult time will allow. I have reposted your video, but I’m sending you this message because your video deserves something more than just a simple click, a like or share. I can only imagine how chaotic the situation must be on the ground. But it means something very special that out of that chaos, you managed to shape a thoughtful, positive message of hope and resilience in your video. Your video gave me a deep understanding of how art can play a role in responding to disasters and in fostering community. You are inspiring as an artist and a beacon to your field. From your video, I also have a better understanding of the emotional turmoil that can come being evacuated under the threat of a disaster. Your thoughtfulness, your dedication as a therapist is a light to your profession. Here in Australia, we regularly face wildfires, floods, storms of all kinds. And our communities often find ourselves lost and overwhelmed. That your video exists, that you posted it and created it during your own time of duress is incredibly meaningful. Your video says that when we are in the middle of pain and confusion, there are choices beyond being lost and Overwhelmed. So please take the time and the care necessary to navigate through what is happening. I’m glad to hear that you are deferring to a later time. The pressures of work. The TikTok algorithm is a merciless child who never stops crying for attention. But your community will wait and be ready for you when you are ready. What is burnt, we can rebuild. So thank you for your video and thank you for what you do. All the best to you.

Date: 2024-08-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7401715569558342920?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 296 – my cup of tea

today I’m grateful for tea there’s a variety is calming and perfectly suited to my taste just my cup of tea

Date: 2024-08-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7401711006461758728?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 392- Blowing up balloons

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Date: 2024-08-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7401116995145469202?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 169 – Connections to people with no names.

today I was at my son’s school sports day and at lunchtime there was a queue at the coffee van there I met a grandfather for another kid in the school I never met him before and he says he usually doesn’t come to events like this but today he did and he told me about his granddaughter who’s racing today and also told me about his grandson who’s an apprentice and having some problems with his boss told me about his house that’s next to a golf course and having to erect high fences to stop the golf balls I told him about living close by and what that’s like we talked for only a few minutes and we got to the front of the queue got a coffee and we parted ways with the school being very big I probably will never see him again and then we get his name in this day and age especially after Covid we make a big deal of connecting to people we know who our family members are and we count the number of friends we have we even count our social media followers these days we have records of who they are but what about the ones we meet everyday the ones without names that we meet in places that we soon forget I’m 55 years old which means that I’ve spent over 20,000 days on this planet and in those 20,000 days I believe I’ve met people like the man I met today on most of the days in my life while waiting at a queue or sitting on a public bench or attending a crowded event there’s a lot of connections and every connection counts it is these short momentary connections that remind me of how rich human experience is only with these experiences I built up who I am and how I relate to people and that’s 20,000 days of opportunities to grow a little bit each time the world often feels disconnected so often we feel alone especially when we’re around people I think whether I’m alone or not doesn’t depend on how big my family is or how many friends I have or what community I belong to it is determined by how many times in a day I choose to put my genuine self out in front of a strange stranger to make a connection and today at lunch time I chose not to be alone

Date: 2024-08-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7400870566082727186?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 168 – The meaning is in the fragments

over the past year I’ve been trying to write a book about what life means to me and how I approach it it’s been excruciatingly painful and difficult to arrive at a coherent theme for such a book and I keep skipping from one line of thought to another and never really arriving something I’m happy with and yet during this time I have found the extremely easy presenting fragments of this life to you on video on this account everyday multiple fragments everyday perhaps that is it that is it that the meaning of life is in the fragments that life for me and for most people is a collection of pieces that holds together very loosely and in undefined ways and undefidable ways but all those pieces held together are what makes each one of our stories compelling

Date: 2024-08-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7400866413851806984?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 295 – Children’s capacities and wisdom.

today I was watching my kids play and I was struck by how much natural capacity they have to handle the complex world we have today what I mean is their remarkable resilience and openness they are incredibly adaptive uh able to let go of setbacks quickly and stay in the moment they can move past mistakes without dwelling on them they don’t carry the weight of the day with them that allows them to fully immerse themselves in whatever they’re doing at the moment they tend to see people for their actions here and now without having preconceived notions and biases so today I’m grateful for children’s capacities I hope we find ways to preserve them

Date: 2024-08-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7400730259189943570?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 391 – My kitchen oils

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Date: 2024-08-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7400397527473835271?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 294 – My Imperfect Face

tonight I’m grateful for every imperfection on my face every wrinkle every spot every white hair every bit that makes my face my face

Date: 2024-08-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7400372187091193095?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 390 – Children’s screen time tools

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Date: 2024-08-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7400353578776300818?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 167 – Fix You.

I have a family member who shall remain unnamed who’s sick today and it’s stressing me out it’s not just today it’s been going on for a while worst thing about it is there are simple things that she can do to get herself well like take medicine but she refuses to do it and so she suffers and the rest of us who are watching on the sidelines suffers as well watching her suffer this video isn’t about her being sick it’s about the choices and the dilemma we face in helping others and helping people we care about if I had the ultimate power and I could do a Thanos snap of the finger and I could make her well would I do it should I do it was it more important to respect her rights and her dignity in choosing the life she wants to live or die if this is one of my children I’d snap my fingers without hesitation and cure them that’s because they’re too young to decide but what if they’re 18 or 28 or 58 would I do to them what I would not wish others do to me which is take over my life caring and helping others is not simple what would you do

Date: 2024-08-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7399927378664901906?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 293 – My journey with my cactus

today I’m grateful for the one year journey I had with my cactus

Date: 2024-08-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7399920864709430535?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 166 – Persisting with pot plants.

I’m deciding what pot plants from my old house I’m taking to my new house here’s a cactus that was um injured by birds a long time ago and still takes quite a lot of work to keep it healthy and alive this is definitely coming with me this is another pot plant and it’s not doing too well looks like attacked by caterpillar or some pest again last night this has happened multiple times with this plant and I have to revive it and find another way to keep the pests away so the house move involves a lot of tasks already and in a sense it’ll be easier if I just start with another pot and rather than keep going with these and I can still do the care and maintenance with new plant and I’ll get a better pot but I’m choosing to keep these two pots because they mean something to me some things I do because they are easy and enjoyable and let me relax some things I do because they are hard they mean something to me and I do it because they are hard most of the meaningful things in life are like this to me like uh family or relationships or communities or my work in my businesses and my volunteering for all of those things there will be some days when highlights happen and I can easily see how beautiful things are but most times and most days it takes work to enjoy and appreciate the beauty in what is happening it is the work and the perseverance and the building of something substantial that is what is beautiful part of maintaining a whole and healthy life to be is to incorporate those hard things into my life all of them ultimately bring joy the joy of the deep and resilient kind and so these plants They are my connection to my deeper life joy what’s the source of your joy

Date: 2024-08-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7399558666468281618?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 389 – Green Tea Latte

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Date: 2024-08-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7399215734615723272?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 388 – Paper towel design

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Date: 2024-08-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7399168055344991495?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 165 – Thank you to a supplier

this is a new gardening hose and reel I just put in my garden I got it from an online supplier called Hoselink you know that gardening is a big part of how I maintain my life plants and flowers and nature plays a big part to keep me healthy and happy and moving into this house there are is a lot to do to revive the garden that hasn’t been maintained very well so I need a lot of things to be in place and so the first thing I did was to replace my old garden hose with this good quality one so some years ago I came across this gardening supplier and business Hose Link who is the supplier of this hose and hose reel and this video is about them they’re not sponsoring this video nor am I seeking any commercial relationship with them I am a customer and I am using them to talk about customer communications I have had many businesses of my own and one thing I know is that normally customers say something when things are bad and they keep silent when things are good so although as a business owner I can see people are buying my products and so customers must be happy in some way what my staff sees is normally a lot of complaints and grievances so I find that is a very unfortunate uh situation with our commerce and how economics work where people who make the money like me as a business owner get emotionally rewarded when I see the business do well but people on the ground who does the work deals with all the negative stuff there is an imbalance in terms of emotional wars regardless of the pay and salary and income that comes through so back to the supplier Hoselink I’ve used their products many times before and they’ve all been very high quality uh their people in product development seems to spend all the necessary time and effort to ensure that their products work properly and are durable and they respond to feedback uh that uh certainly I have provided um and I for dealt with their sales and after sales people too and they are lovely people and they solve all my problems with a minimum of fuss this time around buying this hose reel and and hose is the same thing is just been the wonderful experience throughout so now that I’ve completed my purchase and got my equipment all working I could go on with my life as most customers do but you know I thought this product have added so much to my life through my garden as with their products in the past and their team did so much to solve my problems in the purchase process so my life is actually better because of it but where’s the opportunity for me to say thank you you know to the people who actually made my life better so anyway I made a video I think I know how to make videos so I made one I sent it to them to say thank you and I got a nice message back which again adds to my experience I hope the team knows just how much they contribute to the lives of um gardeners like me anyway my summary message here to all of you is that there’re people who makes a difference in our lives and I find most of the time I’m so caught up in myself that I just take what people give me and I move on without acknowledgement without a hint I even think about it without a thank you the people within the family friends also at the local restaurant the waiter that served me at the newsagent the the person that took my purchase at the checkout when somebody helps me with the groceries so usually I just take whatever they give me and then I move on the so if you are not like me then my compliments to you but if you are like me then maybe we all need to change together if we want a world where people appreciate what we do then we have to show others our appreciation first for the things they do for us a few dollars we pay does not excuse our human obligation to care for one another and you know it feels good when we care for one another even from a simple thank you let’s all give it a try

Date: 2024-08-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7399097857036258578?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 292 – Keeping Warm

today I’m grateful for my clothes that keep me warm I’ve a bit of a cold and my voice is a bit croaky I’m feeling sensitive to the chilly weather so I appreciate having my sweater and my gloves and my hot cup of coffee to keep me warm not everyone will be able to keep warm as I can I’m in the back corner of the city and tonight there will be people in the community that will be sleeping here probably a lot colder than I am so I appreciate what I have that keeps me warm I hope you are warm what are you grateful for today

Date: 2024-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7398817847524297992?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 164 – What do I need? What do I need and what do I have?

today I asked my kids what do they need and one of them said lunch and the other one said I don’t need anything to that I said what about love everybody needs love and he said but I have that and that made me think what do I need and what do I have maybe a lot of things I think I need I already have

Date: 2024-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7398709774029802759?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 388 – Putting up furniture

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Date: 2024-08-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7398695076215524626?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 291 – DIY mistake do-over

today I’m grateful for do overs I just realised when putting this shelf together that that piece over there is upside down so now I have to take it all apart and put it back together again but we can always do over for our mistakes

Date: 2024-08-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7398520304156380424?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 163 – the beauty of a broken glass.

I just broke this wine glass while packing away my glasses I know it looks bad but can I share with you finding beauty in something like this now if I place this glass with the others I could say that this is the flawed one while the others are whole or I could say that this is the unique one this unique one is the one that’s beautiful this broken glass reminds me that nothing lasts forever there’s a there’s an elegance in things being in transient state glass pieces symbolizes this natural cycle of life’s changes one day these five other glasses will also be in this broken state it is inevitable it is the beauty of change and of time the mistake I made in breaking the glass is also a reminder of what we all share we all make mistakes we all have moments of clumsiness these imperfections are part of what makes us human and um I get to share that with you this video if I made it about 6 unbroken wine glasses will not be very interesting it will not be an opportunity for us to share another way of looking at it is from the perspective of choice the broken glass gives me the opportunity to exercise choice I have many ways to respond to it many ways to do the clean up or maybe I don’t do the clean up or maybe I bring the family in to do the clean up or maybe I put away this now very interesting piece for future creative arts project I have many choices choice is one of life’s luxuries many people do not have the choices I have many people would willingly trade places with me this evening to do glass clean up the clean up reminds me of my privilege so I better go finish cleaning this up now instead of making videos perhaps for you something also didn’t go as you expected tonight try and find the beauty in whatever happened to you

Date: 2024-08-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7398174890643279111?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 162 – Movie revisions.

tonight I wanna give some perspectives to what’s been happening in the Marvel Cinematic Universe recently I watched the movie Deadpool and Wolverine where Logan the Wolverine was brought back to life and just a few days ago it was announced at Comic Con that Robert Downey Jr is returning to the MCU to play the character Doctor Doom after his iconic Tony Stark Iron Man character died in Avengers Endgame back in 2019 the deaths of these characters meant a lot to movie fans including me we all cried when they died and bringing them back somehow cheapens the experience that we want to hang on to we want our memories to mean something instead of them being trampled over with revisions over the Star Wars universe this has also happened with the recent TV series The Acolyte where some history was revised and retold in ways that is not consistent with what we knew Star Wars has a lot of that so somebody say it’s just movies but it’s more than that in my journal entries I talk a lot about meaning about tapping into what things mean to us they give us purpose and and an impetus to engage with world and to move forward our memories and our experiences with stories are real even though the characters are fictional our emotions and the impact on us are real they mean something to us we want to hang on to them just like my memories of family of significant events of achievements of my identities but meaning has to be more than holding on and hoping nothing change it if something is meant to be it invariably will be that way if something was meant for me it will invariably find this way to me if not then it needs to be set free the true meaning of whatever we’re hanging on to comes when we can let them go so with the new shows our relationship with the stories that we knew change our relationship with characters and stories is like our relationship with life it is a journey of growth and of change letting go doesn’t lead to them losing their meaning their meaning is precious and will stay with us while we make room for new stories and new meanings

Date: 2024-08-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7398103693716917509?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 387 – Seafood marinara

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Date: 2024-08-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7398081880597236999?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 290 – Family Wonder Wall.

I’m making a family Wonderwall we will get to put down what we wonder about and not only that we also get to put down what we need and what we’re grateful for what do you wonder about what do you need and what are you grateful for today

Date: 2024-07-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7397804536380919047?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 161 – Waking and sleeping

you know I appreciate the mornings when I am excited to get out of bed to start the day and I also appreciate the nights when I put my head on the pillow and go back to sleep and in between that waking and going back to sleep I sometimes wonder if there is a universal rule that determines what I choose to engage in what are the things I choose to do who are the people I choose to see where are the places I choose to go if there is such a universal rule then it would be whatever it is that gets me excited to get out of bed in the morning and whatever it is that helps me sleep at night I think that will be a good rule what gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning and what helps you to sleep at night let me know

Date: 2024-07-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7397789238474984712?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 289 – Fonts.

Today, I’m grateful for fonts.

Date: 2024-07-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7397334051964718344?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 288 – Sunsets.

Overlay text on video

Date: 2024-07-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7397278195625577736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 386 – My sushi lunch

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Date: 2024-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7397039890250091784?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 384 – My favorite spices

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Date: 2024-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7397021688300375304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 287 – sharing mistakes.

today I’m grateful for the chance to share mistakes I’m moving this cube shelf to my new house and I just put it back together again after transporting the pieces here and it’s warped that’s a testament to my very poor handyman skills then I tried to knock it back in shape again with this hammer and that’s when I made this hole so when I relate this the incident to my family and friends later I believe most of us will laugh and then we’ll have a fun time figuring out what to do with this hole maybe we can draw a picture of a hole in the wall with a mouse crawling out or something creative like that mistakes are opportunities to learn and to share and to connect over how to respond to them I’m grateful for my circle of support where we work hard to give each other support to our mistakes

Date: 2024-07-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7397016643823521032?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 160 – I love moving house.

hi I’m moving house I’m going to take apart this shelf to move to my new house boy that was hard work need a break after that it’s quite a mess around here that normally happens when we move house and I had a few conversations in the last couple of days about my home move with my family and with my neighbours and they all reminded me that moving house is considered one of life’s great stresses so I acknowledge that that it is a common experience for home move to be a big stress but I have to say I love moving house and uh in this video I’m going to share with you how I do it so that I love the experience instead of hating it so to me is an exercise in creating meaning when I move house the first thing I think about are the changing relationships and how to maximise the value of uh old and new relationships with neighbours with family with friends all of them which are involved so for instance there’s a new patio area in the new house and I’m already talking to new neighbours about when and where to have barbecues and how to do it talking friends about when we all get together and share drink there and what needs to be set up so that we can do it so there is a spare room in my new house and I’m talking to schools and about making that available for homestay students and I’m talking to family overseas about what would be useful to be in there when they come over and stay I also enjoy evolving a house into something that brings value to my life for instance there’s an open plan area then I’m starting to shape into living area where I have family activities and where I can where there’s a dining area where I can prepare food and have meals there’s a little corner space where I will work and look out into the patio where will the aquarium go where we all get to feed our fishes where will we put the bird feeder when the birds come to visit us so I think about all these things about how this new space can better accommodate my routines and I plan out ways to make the space more functional and more comfortable which gets me excited about the move so another aspects is the opportunity to review to declutter as you saw today and um and then start fresh so among all the stuff here there there are things there only handful of things that are meaningful for me to keep as I will keep them and some that are still useful in my life that I’ll keep but the rest are just junk that I hoard over the years and becomes a drag so hoarding junk and managing storage is a major ongoing stress for most people relocating is a opportunity to review and refresh those I also make it a point to involve my family in the process so we share stories about different items decide which one stays which one goes and we envision how we going to use our new spaces with the stuff we have and we also have to acknowledge that moving out of a home that has a lot of memories can be tough and my kids I always say goodbye to our old place we make private videos to remember the old place it’s a grieving process even though a lot of times we don’t call it that so after all that then having physical messes like what you see here and boxes take on a different meaning and the process of moving becomes a journey of rediscovery and renewal rather than just a stressful task so moving house to me is more than just relocating belongings is an opportunity to reshape my environment and reconnect with things that matters most and so I embrace the mess you know I cherish the process and I turn the moving into an adventure and when I focus on these meaningful things like building new relationships and um maintaining old relationship evolving my space decluttering my life I transformed experience into something truly enjoyable and and fulfilling and I want to thank you for being part of this journey

Date: 2024-07-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7396542299494239496?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 383 – Who will win the second round?

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Date: 2024-07-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7396534100502285575?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 286 – Fans.

today I’m grateful for fans here big fans and here’s a little one I’m also a fan myself of gratitude and positivity and hope what are you a fan of today

Date: 2024-07-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7396529750866529554?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 159 – Speak and Be Heard.

this morning I was in the middle of uh King George Square so that’s a public square in the middle of Brisbane city where a lot of people walk pass and someone was on stage speaking I listened to her for few moments she was speaking with a lot of conviction about something that obviously was very important for her but I noticed that hardly anyone was listening people were walking past as if there was no stage at all and it got me thinking about our need to speak and be heard sometimes we talk because we need to talk it fulfills something deep within us it’s great that we have platforms like social media where we can speak out and we can share our thoughts and feelings speaking out can be therapeutic and everyone deserves to have that outlet if you haven’t done it before try it with your own private space you don’t need to do it publicly most people find it useful to be able to hear ourselves say things that may be buried deep inside of ourselves but if our goal is to be heard it takes more than just speaking out it requires building relationships and building trust with those who might be listening It’s then more about creating a connection so that our words resonate and has some chance of having an impact I wonder how often do we speak without considering if anyone’s ready to listen and how often do we invest in the effort necessary and to build the relationship so people might want to listen so today I’m reflecting on that balance between our need to express ourselves and the effort necessary to be truly heard It’s a reminder for myself to not just speak but also to listen and to engage building a community where voices are heard means putting in the work to connect with each other I remember coming to this realisation years ago when I was in my early career as a university lecturer and I was at a time wondering why students numbers in lectures dwindle over the course of semester and I had all these excuses in my head the students must be lazy or they might be uh study they might be experiencing study fatigue the hard reality for me to face was that I was talking because I needed to talk I was teaching what I wanted to teach I had no idea what the students were ready to learn and that second part to take myself out of my comfort zone and be vulnerable to be exposed to where others may be and what they’re going through and whether where they are in terms of being able to listen to what I had to say that takes a lifetime of practice and um and learning in order to be comfortable so have you ever felt the need to speak even if no one’s listening how did it make you feel when you spoke and you can tell that no one’s listening what do you do

Date: 2024-07-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7396195299770813704?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 382 – Deadpool and Wolverine Movie

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Date: 2024-07-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7395934997162609927?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 381 – Egg Chair

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Date: 2024-07-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7395917235631557896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 285 – Cycle of Night and Day.

today I feel grateful for the cycle of night and day I feel uplifted and chirpy when the sun is out and when the night comes I feel calm and reflective daytime is for action and for achievements while the evening is for review for learning for growth it is a balance that works for me

Date: 2024-07-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7395813935603125512?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 158 – caring for others

I’m fixing up my new backyard I pulled out a whole lot of weeds from these big pots and now we’re planting in proper flowers and these two new ones will take some time to grow and this one is from my old front yard it’s not looking very good because I didn’t trim it properly last season I’ll try to take better care of it and then try to revive it so the reason I’m planting these here is so that when I look through from my kitchen from in there I can see how the things that we’re taking care of are going and this brings me to the subject of my reflection today which is our very basic human need to take care of others when we engage in taking care of others whether is our plants or pets or people we fulfill what is a deep seated need within us lot of times it’s casted as a responsibility this thing about taking care of others and it is a responsibility but it’s not all of it it’s also an expression of our humanity is about showing that we are human we feel connected and we feel valued and we feel there’s a purpose when we do it there is some there is something inextricably deep about nurturing life and watching it grow and flourish under our care and feel the satisfaction from it so caring for others isn’t always easy it can be tiring it can be demanding but it’s also incredibly rewarding just ask any parent parent parenting is an obvious expression of this need to care for others no one would be a parent if we knew what we were getting into before we started but as parents we are compelled to dedicate our lives to the well being of our children guiding them supporting them loving them unconditionally no matter what they do this act of care not only benefits a child but also enriches our own lives it teaches us patience and empathy and selfish uh selflessness a lot of other things it helps us grow as individuals now not all care is as onerous as parenting we all have uh part responsibility to care for others within our family with our friends um and some of us are volunteered to help care for others in our community so everyday everywhere there are countless expressions of people uh of people’s need to care for others so one important aspects of taking care of someone else is that you know very quickly if you’re not taking care of yourself most of us when we don’t take proper care of ourselves we’re hopeless as at taking care of someone else so caring for others is therefore like a can a canary in a coal mine it’s uh if I find it difficult to give attention to someone else it might be a sign that I need to pay more attention to my own needs self care isn’t selfish it is essential because it is when we are well that we are in a much better position to support others and care for others so I ask you now who are you taking care of today and are you also taking care of yourself think about it

Date: 2024-07-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7395174608623668498?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 284 – Clean water

today I’m grateful for the plumber I’ll call tomorrow to fix this leak clean water is essential for a healthy life and we’re so incredibly lucky to have easier access to it thanks to modern plumbing and skilled professionals

Date: 2024-07-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7395168633242144007?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I was asked today, “Should I volunteer?” Reposting my answer from 16 Aug 2023. See @Learning with Leong

When you sit at a dinner table, should you pass the salt? This video came from a question I was asked this morning in a volunteer event in my kid’s school. Question, a very common one is should I volunteer? Now there are a lot of good reasons to volunteer. There are just as many valid reasons to non volunteer. In this day and age where we have so many commitments, how do we find the answer to that question? I’m going to share with you mine. As you may have guessed, the way that I think about the question should I volunteer is the same way I think about the question, should I pass the salt? So let’s imagine I’m at a dinner table and someone asks, can you pass the salt? I would a thought pop up in my head to say, should I pass this salt? Am I capable of passing this salt? Do I have time to finish my dinner and pass the salt? I mean, of course, I don’t think about things like that. Well, you might, which case you’re really weird. But I don’t because when somebody asks to pass the salt, then I pass the salt. It’s part and parcel of sitting down in this table with the people that I have dinner with. So the real question is, do I actually want to be at this table with the people that are at this table? But generally when we’re in a community, These volunteering tasks pop up, it is a manifestation of the reality that not all tasks can be properly planned and precisely defined as work and people hired and paid to do the task. So when these tasks pop up, we all pitch in and get it done. So that’s the volunteering. It’s how communities have always worked. And I expect that regardless what happens to our world is how communities will continue to work. So when volunteering opportunities come up, the question that pops up in my head is what is the community that surrounds the things that needs to be done? What is that community like? Do I want to be part of that community? Am I already part of that community? When I find answers to those questions, then the answer to the question of whether I should volunteer comes actually very natural. So anyway, then back to you. Should you ask the salt?

Date: 2024-07-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7395146573451185415?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day – 380 Wallaby

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Date: 2024-07-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7394737536439946514?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 379 – Re-planting

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Date: 2024-07-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7394684042601303304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 283 – Blue Blue Sky

today I’m grateful for a blue blue sky can you see how blue it is amazing isn’t it

Date: 2024-07-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7394330256758377736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 156 – Uber 5-Star Ratings.

you know I used to be a Uber rideshare driver it was for period of about 3 months and this was before Covid it was after my divorce I had some time and it looked like something flexible that I could do on the side and I get to chat with people it didn’t pay very well though the rate was okay if you use your own car but if you factor in the depreciation on your car it just wasn’t worth it however the best thing about it definitely was chatting with people I think if I come back to this earth in another life I would either be a hairdresser or a bartender or ride share driver I think I did pretty well I got over 500 rides and I had a rating of 4.96 out of five when you’re a ride share driver you have to pay a lot of attention to your rating if it goes below a certain rating you get booted out if you have a high rating then you get good riders um allocated to you so before I did it and while I was doing it I used to think a lot about how to keep my ratings up and the big secret I discovered which I use still a lot in my conversations today and is the secret I like to share with you today is that the more I focus on getting 5 star the worse it gets and it gets better if I switch my mindset and I start think looking for reasons to give riders 5 star the dynamic changes when I do that so I remember one time I had a rider get into the car and was grumpy and she kept to herself so I thought straight away that that’s a one star rider or zero star rider right there so I kept quiet myself for hoping that she won’t take out you know whatever her stuff is that she’s going through on me but sometime during that ride something prompted me to have a mindset change and I thought somewhere in that person is a 5 star rider and that made me open up a little bit to try and be more empathetic and to see what might be happening and I start giving more supportive uh gestures like saying you know tough day huh and um telling her that she can help herself to bottled water she still kept silent for a while but her demeanor change and she seems more relaxed and slowly she opened up turns out that it was her first day at work and she had a bad day and got shouted at a lot by her employer that day and she left a message for her mum and her mum haven’t called back yet and she was holding back tears and want to get home as soon as she could so we had a good chat after that and at the end of the ride she thanked me and she said that the ride helped her a little bit at least to just get some sanity back so I gave her 5 star for uh for that ride I don’t know what she gave me and in the end it didn’t matter so in the 554 rides I think I had I gave 552 five star ratings to riders I gave two four star ratings I still think a lot about what I learnt during my right share experience think a lot about all the wonderful people I met and I think maybe there are a lot of 5 star people out there who needs just some prompts for them to shine

Date: 2024-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7394024938467855624?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 378 – Fire Pit

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Date: 2024-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393936888404479239?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 282 – A Blade of Grass.

today I’m grateful for a blade of grass I strive to see the universe in a blade of grass so that the entirety of my life become simple enough to nurture in the palm of my hand

Date: 2024-07-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393928923123289362?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 155 – I don’t know.

today I’m prompted to think about what to do when I don’t know about something I was asked this morning in a group morning tea to talk about a few things uh and with every question I felt like I had to say something even on subjects I don’t know anything about I felt compelled really to say something smart or useful or at least something relevant to add to the conversation and in professional work and in many social settings I find we are taught not to say we don’t know instead we are encouraged to find the answers quickly or even just to project confidence while we’re looking for the answers even with children we teach them the same thing we don’t accept them saying I don’t know and we certainly don’t tell them that we don’t know so we end up in a race to see who can be more confident and who can be more proactive and who can handle the situation better I think about how uncomfortable it is to answer prompt by saying I don’t know I feel like I feel like when I say that I’m being a wet blanket or that I’m conveying that I don’t care or I’m trying to end the conversation which is not what I mean I I’ll tell you why I want to say I don’t know it is to open up the opportunity for others to say that they don’t know as well then at least we all know we all in the same boat that the start of sharing is this vulnerable position that we’re all in and we can’t be we can’t share this vulnerable position if we all try to cover it up and it is a very vulnerable position to say something that conveys that I am ignorant really but it’s a natural thing to happen to all of us and I’m frustrated I can’t just say it or maybe it’s just me maybe I need to learn how to say I don’t know better to convey my vulnerability and to convey I don’t mean I don’t care or that I don’t want to stop talking on contrary I want us to talk about something we neither of us know about or the group of us don’t know about it is um how to say it though how to convey that that I don’t know sometimes I wish I could use emojis in speech sometimes when I don’t know something I can think of an emoji you know like the shrug I think about emojis when I want to say I don’t know do you get the same feeling tell me how you feel tell me what you do when you don’t know something and you have to respond

Date: 2024-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393685674999811336?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 154 – compounding gratitude.

today I was prompted to review what message I put out as a human being when my son was asked what he learnt from his father I’ll let him disclose what he said one day when he grows up if he chooses to but what it did prompt me to think about is to review what message do I actively try to put out everyday on this account one message is the daily practice of gratitude and appreciation of finding something to smile about it is a daily practice not a highlight or a performance or race or a competition just something to do everyday whether boring or exciting or anything in between there’s a saying in finance that the first million you make is the hardest actually is the first dollar you make that’s the harder after that the next hundred dollars is a bit easier next thousand is easier still and when we start making millions the compounding effects of what we built up makes money making almost automatic and it is the same with gratitude and health and wellness the more we do it the easier it is the compounding effects of doing it consistently over long periods means that the emotional the spiritual the relational capital that we built up will make this happiness machine go round just a little bit smoother that leads us one day to the life of joy that we seek so if you did a moment of gratitude today don’t think that it ever goes to waste it is like putting a penny into that piggy bank of yours that as you keep accumulating will make you rich so just keep putting that penny aside everyday

Date: 2024-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393682594270940423?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 281 – Peanuts.

today I’m grateful for peanuts you crack every one open and inside you’re guaranteed to find treasure

Date: 2024-07-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7393556327433309458?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 377 – Pink Cupcake

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Date: 2024-07-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393294051014905106?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 153 – In times of sickness.

tonight I’m a bit sick a bit of a headache coming on and feeling tired but didn’t come from any exertion today I should get an early night but while I’m feeling a bit sick but still good enough to talk it’s a useful opportunity to share with you something that comes from falling sick to be forced to slow down and when this happens uh some reflection of what goes through my mind can reveal a lot of things so when we’re sick noticing the people that uh we think about and we miss tells us about who is important and also noticing what type of activities I miss and what type of activities I tend to avoid when I’m sick they tell me what is nourishing and what is draining so tell me what do you think about when you’re sick who is important for you and what is nourishing for you let me know in the comments and I’ll read it tomorrow when hopefully I’m feeling a bit better

Date: 2024-07-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7393291196312931591?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 376 – Tictacs

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Date: 2024-07-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7393289585280814343?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 279 – the Hourglass

tonight I’m grateful for the hourglass each grain of sand in there is too minute to count but one drop at a time they mark the passage of each moment that looks insignificant but builds to shape our lives as whole cherish every moment of your life

Date: 2024-07-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7392932697020124424?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 152 – Appreciating Doonas.

just putting a second layer on my kid’s doona he’s getting cold in his sleep this is an IKEA one it where it comes in two layers and I can remove one layer in the summer and use both layers in the winter it’s such a simple and ingenious uh invention to so that I can use it at different times during the year and with doonas there’s so many different materials and technologies that goes into these doonas and quilts and beddings in general that sleep is so much simpler these days sleep is important for my kids obviously and for me too I have uh sleep apnea and throughout my life I’ve struggled with sleep so the options today makes it so much easier for me to sleep than say 10 or 20 years ago the world is so much better than it was in the past but um we are still flooded by pessimism perhaps more so than any other time in the past so many of us are overwhelmed with stress and I understand there are a lot of stressful things out there but objectively though life and society by most standards and criteria that we choose to pick to me is indisputably better than the past I would never go back in time to a time when my kids have high mortality rate because medicine is in what it is today to when I don’t have devices like phones to see my mum oversees at any time and um simple things like sleep is so much tougher than it is now so objectively the world is so much better than what it was that’s not to discount the pressures in our lives today things are changing so fast and just seems so messy and costs are high and we can’t get simple bits of our lives under control and and we can’t seem to get along with each other so having things like medicine or phones or aircons or doonas doesn’t overcome those things if our lives is a mixture of good and bad things we have to work on the bad things right we can’t just sit on the good stuff and say well it’s better than past so whoop dee doo let’s all enjoy ourselves right we can’t do that and you’re right most of our lives are about facing these problems and most of my own days are about facing problems and solving problems but what I’m saying is that wouldn’t it be easier to deal with the bad things if we are bouyed by the good things you know I like to appreciate stuff like this doona and because I do I think I handle sleep challenges a lot better so what problems are you facing today and what do you appreciate while you’re facing them

Date: 2024-07-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7392859967163813127?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 375 – Nurturing a new garden

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Date: 2024-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7392579860020940040?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 279 – Haircut.

today I’m grateful for the haircut I had today do you like it it’s level 8 with overcomb I actually don’t know what that means my hairdresser asked me to write it down once so I can tell the next hairdresser to do exactly the same thing anyway I’m grateful for hairdressers and I think that’s such a great job because you get to yap with people all day everyday

Date: 2024-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7392579368129727751?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 151 – Roles defining relationships

I was talking to a work colleague today Nancy now we’ve been busy over the past year restructuring a nonprofit organisation there’s been a lot to do and most of the time when we meet we can’t possibly get through everything we need to get through but uh we do the best we can today as we cross each other’s path again I noticed myself automatically talking about the restructure it was as if her face becomes a trigger for me to go into the role of corporate restructuring and she and I realised that we haven’t caught up on the friendship part of our connection for a long time I hardly know anything about what’s been happening with her and her life and family recent times and I’ve had a lot of contact with her partner as well but again we talked about the organisation and I certainly haven’t told them about anything about myself and uh the many things that has happened so part of having good people to work with is to be able to share stress and load and that can’t happen if I get fixated on presenting myself and seeing another person in these uni- dimensional ways and this reminds me of how we tend to use our roles to define our relationships which can be functionally good to get things done but relationships cannot last for a long time if we are fixated on roles because our roles invariably change the best example I can think of this is our relationship with our parents parents and children have such a strongly defined relationship of provider and receiver or protector and protected that when we grow old enough to not need to be provided or to be protected then the relationship becomes strange it comes strained because we don’t know what to do I remember in my late teens and early 20s it was just a strange time with my parents it was like I needed to move out of the house and then have some space so I can then come back and become a different person and reconnect as as friends I don’t think we ever did it properly when I go home today to my mum in Malaysia and stay with my mum she’s in her late 80s but she’s still acting as the provider and protector uh teachers and students are like that too I remember when I was a graduate student and my research supervisor who was my lecturer at undergraduate for many years he became sort of my work colleague as my work capacity started to match his and it was a strange transition and sometimes I don’t think we pay attention to how to do that and to do it well so anyway I think Nancy and I need to catch up a lot more and talk less shop and I think I need to work out what I’m going to do when my kids don’t need me to provide and to protect them anymore

Date: 2024-07-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7392505132430150930?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 374 – Maleny Chocolate

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Date: 2024-07-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7392203588874947847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 278 – Panda bookmark.

my son gave this to me he got it at school and he decided to give it to me is a fan shaped bookmark of some kind its got bamboo and pandas and tassel and it’s a fan it’s a bookmark all the things I love it’s pretty isn’t it so besides appreciating the delicate beauty of this I also feel a sense of gratitude that my son gave it to me that he would think of someone else when he gets things and there’s also the gratitude that someone knows about things I love and it means something to someone to remember what I love I hope I build an environment around him where he grows up being reminded that life is better when we think of other people

Date: 2024-07-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391861158434589970?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 150 – Performances behind the camera.

today I posted a magic trick as my gratitude video it was recorded ad hoc after somebody showed me that magic trick and it wasn’t presented very well and it would have been more entertaining if I practice it a bit and performed it with a bit of polish but my purpose with gratitudes is not to entertain or to perform is only to share for all the benefits of sharing that I talk about in many videos but it did prompt me to think about this aspect that many people complain about with social media that it is a performance to an audience rather than genuinely presenting what we are like it is very hard to put aside the temptation to perform when the camera is on but do we really want to turn our lives into performances that’s a question that I think about all the time and I think it’s worthwhile for all of us to think about that so that we try to have some balance in our lives away from the pressure of the camera that is um ever present these days a lot of genuine and worthwhile things happen when we do not feel that pressure to record them having said that I think it would be a mistake to believe that performance isn’t happening all the time even when the camera is off even when we are comfortable with people who are closest to us so how many times have I feel that I can’t say something or show something to someone closest to me because I feel that that I’d be embarrassed you know when I was young exam results and then uh the outcomes from tests uh the what happened at work uh the results of competition you know what mistakes I made I feel like I have to perform all the time to present myself in a certain way to fit a vision of what I expect other people expect of me so it comes from having an identity it is great for somebody to see me in a certain way and for and love me in a certain way but with that is also the pressure to live up to what I believe are their expectations and there’s another type of performance that’s even more difficult to get away from and those are the performance I give to fool myself those are the ones where I show myself that I’m okay when I’m not okay all the ones I tell myself that things didn’t hurt when it did hurt performances I put up so that I can convince my convince myself that um big boys don’t cry when I’m bleeding inside I think as I look to prevent the camera from dominating my life perhaps the biggest challenge is to turn off that part of me that judges myself so harshly so that it triggers me to perform even when the camera’s not there it triggers me to perform rather than actually living so it’s the it’s easy to turn off cameras like the ones here but it’s very hard to turn off that um harsh lens that we place on ourselves and that perhaps is the one that I need to work on the most

Date: 2024-07-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7391843289391025426?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 375 – Thank you

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Date: 2024-07-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391681145403985170?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 277 – mind reading magic tricks.

today I’m grateful for mind reading here’s a mind reading trick somebody just showed me I’m going to read your mind think of a two digit number between 1 and 50 both digits must be odd and two digits must be different 1 to 50 two digits odd and two digits are different have you got it it’s 35 37 what I’m actually grateful for are cute magic tricks if you wanna know how this trick is done just Google why people choose 37

Date: 2024-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391399616828296455?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 149 – Seven Big Life Questions.

I made a video a while back talking about the reasons why we ask questions I said in that video that getting answers is only one of the reasons why we ask questions another reason is that to have all the questions in front of us so that we can see which one is important and which one we’re going to try and find answers to and with whom we are going to look for the answers with so that was way back before I have the volumes of videos that I have now now reviewing all the videos that I have and looking at the type of questions I choose to ask everyday and the type of answers I choose to give I can see a pattern that I ask questions in my videos where they do not have easy or obvious answers and they do not have clear ways of finding the answers they reflect a lot of the questions I see many people ask on social media where it’s not obvious that they are even answers so the point then to me of all of us asking these questions are is to share it is to be together asking these questions so that we are not alone and maybe together we can start to be comfortable with these questions and we can start exploring just how we together will try and find the answers at least we’re all walking the same path so as I review my own videos today I noticed seven general big life questions that my videos usually are about so No. 1 is what makes me smile this is about joy and happiness what naturally makes me happy and especially what I have to work on and build so that I have a happy life so No. 2 is how can I cope this is about pain and things that I find difficult what are vulnerable things for me what do I do when things are hard where are safe spaces and strong shoulders that I can cry on so No. 3 then is what is noise this is about attention about what demands my attention and what is worthwhile for me to pay attention to what are distractions what when is it important for me to speak and when is it important for me to listen the No. 4 is what is my range this is about my need for variety and my tolerance for diversity how much do I want how much can I handle how do I overlap with other people and coexist with other people who are different No.5 is uh what is worth keeping this is about change this is about memories about things that I accumulate what do I have in my life that is worth keeping now what do I have to let go of to move forward and No. 6 is who are we so this is the extension of the classic identity question who am I in today’s world I exist only in relations to the connections that I keep how do my relationships and my community shape me what does it mean to belong and finally No. 7 is do I matter this is about my significance and my impact how do my actions and decisions affect others and the world around me what contributions can I make that have meaning and have value so those are the videos that I make so if you are interested in those questions as well and you’re not looking for hard and fast answers I appreciate you coming along in my journey

Date: 2024-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391363610183732488?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 276 – Lifts

today I’m grateful for lifts level 9 when you get out of lifts do you ever say good day to everybody in the lift if you don’t why not

Date: 2024-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391347661623807250?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 372 – Having chocolate mint gelato ice cream by the river.

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Date: 2024-07-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7391129658948963591?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 371 – Language memory cards

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Date: 2024-07-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391119804033273096?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 275 – Soy Sauce. S

today I’m grateful for soy sauce I can’t have Chinese food without soy sauce turns every dish into a feast

Date: 2024-07-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7391019625842035975?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 148 – Elections and the things we worship Will Joe Biden survive the US Presidential Elections?

Will Joe Biden survive? there’s a raging debate in the US and the rest of the world about the current US president Joe Biden and what he’s showing with signs of his ageing and the implications of that in his upcoming presidential election campaign was it terrifying watching Joe Biden at the debate and at the NATO press conference? that slowed speech and the stumbles with coming up with what to say the blank stares yes it can be terrifying but is the terror about Joe Biden or is it about us I can remember a time when if a woman had been on that stage talking the way a woman talks and acting the way that woman acts it will be terrifying for a lot of us I can remember a time when if a coloured person had been on that stage talking the way a coloured person talks and acting the way a coloured person acts it will be terrifying for a lot of us from all reports that I can see it appears he’s doing fine at the job of the President of the United States the question is whether he can lead his election campaign whether he can win and it’s unfortunate that’s where the question is he is the President of the United States the leader of the free world supposedly the most powerful person on the planet even he with all his power cannot turn our attention away from what he is and what he looks like to get us to focus on what he does we are compelled to tune in on what happens to an 81 year old why can’t he look and act young like the rest of us if the most powerful person on the planet can’t do it what chance to a normal 81 year old trying to convince his family that he can still live his own life what chance do a normal single mother trying to convince an employer she can still finish her job while caring for a child what chance do a terrified black kid staring down the barrel of a gun held by a just as terrified police officer is he staring down that gun because of what he is doing or because of what he is with Biden it’s all very entertaining watching all this media furore and clips they choose to show of him what I really wanna see is a livestream with Biden for 24 hours watching him do what he normally does without his media minders what I wanna see is besides the few moments that usually gets all the attention and drives the whole world bonkers I wanna see what he’s doing the rest of the time I suspect he’ll be just like any 81 year old mostly getting boring everyday things done and that is the unfortunate thing is the reality that what scares us most is this job that we put on a pedestal is just like the rest of the jobs that humans have to do and this superhuman leader of the free world is an imperfect human being in the end elections are about what we choose to worship and what we choose to worship says a lot more about us than about the people we elect so back to the question Will Joe Biden survive I’m sure he will the question is will the US as a country survive will we as the human race survive worshipping the things that we worship

Date: 2024-07-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7390752032350620935?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 370 – Tea Towels

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Date: 2024-07-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7390750333430992146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 147 – a positive thought before bed.

do you wonder what is a positive activity for you what is healthy and what is wholesome let’s think about that for a minute today was a full day for me someone in my family got sick and I took care of him in the morning and while I was doing that we had a power blackout so that went on from morning until late afternoon I then spent the rest of the evening catching up and now late into the night I have some choices as to what I do before I go to bed what I look for in times like this is something positive something healthy something relaxing and uplifting before I go to bed obviously I’m sitting here making a video journal entry and that to me is something positive to do but what makes it positive though and that’s not obvious oh that’s not always obvious what makes it positive being positive is one of those phrases that means something different to everyone some people I know try to come up with some rules for themselves as to what makes something healthy and positive but I find that a futile effort as I always find that I will always have a counter example that breaks that rule that I made up for myself I instead rely on my instincts and my body to tell me there are some body responses like smiling and laughing that tells me that an activity is positive for me another response which is the one I wanna share is what plays around in my head as I drop off to sleep when my head hits the pillow when I go to bed it is like uh dreaming while I’m still awake the thoughts that helps me to go to sleep are the ones that I reflect on in videos like this some gratitude some appreciation of what happened during the day some celebrations of small things and sometimes some processing of difficult things so even if no one watches this video that I’m making the fact that I’m making them the fact that I think through what I think through and I express them instead of keeping them bottled up inside that is positive for me when I fall asleep those thoughts carry me into dreamland without me needing to count sheep and that is why I have so many videos

Date: 2024-07-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7390744676443114759?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 274 – Cuckoo Clocks.

today I’m grateful for my little cuckoo clock who reminds me all the time that the passing of time is a beautiful thing

Date: 2024-07-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7390269149118876935?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 273 – Shade Sail again.

today I was challenged to have a gratitude that’s different from the Shade Sail that I did last week because I’ve already done one with Shade Sail and somebody challenged me to say that I can’t do another one with Shade Sail well today I’m grateful for the shapes that shade sail makes and when you twirl it around it looks like you’re in a boat in a storm so there you go

Date: 2024-07-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7390153200533261586?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 369 – Bedtime

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Date: 2024-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7390029281587465490?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 272 – Smoke Alarms.

today I’m grateful for smoke alarms I’m doing my annual smoke alarm check and test smoke alarms are required by law to be interconnected just as equipment need to communicate to keep humans safe humans have to communicate to maintain each other’s safety and well being just like interconnected smoke alarms alert everyone within the home and workplace effective communications among people can ensure that everyone’s aware of any potential hazards we have to all watch out for each other

Date: 2024-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7390001478011800839?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 146 – A Star Wars Story of Hope

this is a Star Wars story not all of you are Star Wars fans I know and I won’t hold that against you but you at least know that in Star Wars there’s this powerful thing called the force and there’s this force wielder named Luke Skywalker who discovers the most evil being in the galaxy Darth Vader is his father he battles his father and he wins but that last moment he gives up all the power and he sacrifices himself and by doing so he saves himself he saves his father and they restore balance to the universe Star Wars in the end is a story about Hope in the Star Wars fanbase we make a big deal of this fight called the duel of the fates is a fight between Jedi Master Qui Gon Jin and his battle on Obi Wan Kenobi against the evil Darth Maul in the balance for this fight was the fate of the young boy Anakin Skywalker as to whether Anakin will get the father figure of Qui Gon Jin to guide him in his life Qui Gon lost his fight and was killed leaving Anakin without the guide that he needed in his life the tragedy then played out of Anakin’s coming to the dark side of the force and becoming Darth Vader why this Duel of the Fates is important in the story of Hope is that it is symbolic of the largest struggles of life if you’re hopeless romantic like me you would wish that Qui Gon survived the conclusion of this fight leaves us with the questions we normally have when we have painful episodes in our life why did someone have to die why did someone I need leave why did it have to end it is when we have these questions swirling in our heads and is eating at us that it is so painful that we wish we have powers like the ability to wield the force to make that pain go away to change the destiny for us to make someone who has left us come back to have something that have ended begin again or to turn what we have lost into something that we have once again those are the seduction of powerful things addictive things things like narcotics and gambling or fame and wealth these have powers to take us somewhere somewhere that we think we want to go but they ultimately do not deal with the pain All the powers in the world cannot make painful things go away and it is when we let go of those powerful things when we let in our pain that’s when hope emerges Hope shines brightest at the moment when we need it most Hope is something more powerful than the force because the force can only give you what you want but Hope is there to carry you when you don’t get what you want our lives ultimately is a Star Wars story our lives are stories about our search for Hope

Date: 2024-07-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7389623468590894344?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @NIKLLOVER1 #usa_tiktok🇺🇸 Who won this game?

Video

Date: 2024-07-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7389611539742936327?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 368 – Lightwhip fight scene

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Date: 2024-07-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7389593117378350343?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
I am grateful for being 55 years old, and having the choice to tap into the knowledge from any stage of life I experienced in the past.

today I’m grateful for age the best thing about being 55 years old even though it is annoying dealing with all the white hair that’s coming out the best thing though is that inside of me is a 50 year old a 40 year old a 30 year old a 20 year old and a 10 year old it will always be my choice which one of those I tap into at any particular time

Date: 2024-07-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7389589399559867666?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 145 – a bout of rumination

I had a bout of rumination yesterday I’m sure you’ve had it but maybe you don’t call it that I’ll share you with you what happened and I hope my sharing helps you when you are triggered into rumination yourself what happened was that I was wrapping up my day uh when I caught myself daydreaming about my kid’s future and I could hear them chatting away and laughing and full of energy and usually I match that energy and I stay attuned and I stay involved but yesterday evening was different my thoughts drifted to how fast time is passing at 55 years old and my and my kids only hitting their teens I couldn’t help but think ahead of what they’ll be like in their 20s and I’m in my seventies so as I listened to their banter I wondered will I be able to keep up with them in 20 years time what will life be like and the thought of potentially facing health challenges and physical limitations in my 70s while they’re navigating young and uh vibrant adulthood uh made me feel vulnerable and uncertain and my history and the things I knew from my age care work many years of age care work didn’t help with that thought so then I turned to social media which was definitely a mistake because it wasn’t a distraction it made things worse older parents doing normal things aren’t represented in the online world and then the content that I’m seeing with recent performance of Joe Biden in the US presidential campaign that didn’t help either the way that Joe Biden is presenting himself so I turned to TV and I don’t recall what I watch because I think I was more immersed in my thoughts than in what I was watching so a few hours drifted by like that just um uncertainty and a lot of fear and stress and having nowhere to go and that’s when it led me to something to think about something that my psychologist have told me in the past what he said is that there’s a difference between productive planning and rumination and that difference is that with planning it is done with pen and paper what that means is that with planning I think of something and I write it down but with rumination it always stays swirling in my head nothing is written down and nothing comes out of it so I had my pen and paper last night and I wrote down what is meaningful for me in terms of my life with my children in 20 years time I wrote down what I can act on now to bring about that future and after that I looked at it and it didn’t seem that scary and the best thing of all is that I can close it and put it down and then I went to sleep so that was my rumination episode I hope that helps you why don’t you share with me yours

Date: 2024-07-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7389162399623957778?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 367 – Sichuan soup

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Date: 2024-07-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7388761044199476501?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 366 – Birthday Party Supplies

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Date: 2024-07-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7388753465792564500?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 270 – Looking Up in IKEA.

No I was in IKEA a moment ago looking for bed mattresses and as I lay down to try the mattresses I saw what was above the ceiling and I realised that for the hundreds of times I’ve been through this place I’ve never noticed that the ceilings exposed and there are so many strange and interesting structures there I am very familiar though with what I see on the ground so as I walk further I notice I do spend most of my time looking down instead of up so as I sit here I wonder if that’s why things look bad most of the time because I choose to look down instead of up I’m grateful for the abundance of blue skies and sunshine that comes into my life just by looking up

Date: 2024-07-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7388504233663810837?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 365. 365 Days!

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Date: 2024-07-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7388325476068019476?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 269 – Shade Sail.

today I’m grateful for shade sail when I’m under it it feels like I’m on a big sailboat off on a big adventure where will my adventure take me today

Date: 2024-07-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7388151455984651541?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 144 – what are you worth?

what do you think you’re worth to other people? one thing I find universal when talking to people is that almost everybody wants to help unfortunately one thing I also find is that a lot of people do not believe they have anything to offer another person and that is a pity because that’s not true there is something everyone has that is worth something to someone else and that something is the path that you’ve walked it is journey that you’ve taken and the story that is yours the one way you can help is to find a person who is walking one step behind you and tell them hey this is the next step don’t be afraid you’re not alone because I have walked that step before and that is what you’re worth

Date: 2024-07-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7388138157193186568?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 268 – Wake I am grateful for the sharing at the wake for my neighbour’s dog Harry.

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Date: 2024-07-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7387994842351078676?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 364 – Thank You Chocolates

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Date: 2024-07-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7387792962945666305?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 143 – 3 seconds to grab your attention.

that was an experiment there’s a common almost pervasive advice about making videos for social media that because of people’s short attention span that we have to have something happening every 2 to 3 seconds to keep a viewer’s attention those five seconds that I had at the beginning of this video is to test this to see how many of you are still here it will show up in my video analytics I believe that 2 to 3 second rule is a self fulfilling prophecy we create that myth by making more and more videos like that and then turn around and say that that’s why people watch the fact that you’re still here says that you’re not buying into it

Date: 2024-07-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7387787701740702994?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 267 – Volunteering The Smith Family charity Australia.

today I was asked at a volunteer event with the Smith Family why I volunteer I wasn’t prepared for that question and what I blurted out was that it is because I love the work I love being part of a team who helps students who are disadvantaged with their school work and on those rare occasions when things go wrong and plans go pear shaped and we wonder why we’re even doing it but then we adapt and we get over it and things turn out okay and not everything goes down the toilet as we thought I love going through those moments with the other volunteers and with the students I thought about it afterward and I wonder if it’s true do I really like going through those messes and I conclude that I do for many reasons one is that I get to experience what less fortunate students experience every day when many things go pear shaped and they don’t get the support to adapt and to recover every time it fills me with gratitude for the life that I have and that my children have it also makes me grateful that for some brief moments I get to help a student get a sense that someone is beside them when things go wrong but together we can change that we can have a different direction we can adapt and their lives can be better I’m glad I volunteer you should think about it too if you’re not doing it already

Date: 2024-07-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7387364920343530760?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 142 – home move and life load.

today I’m reflecting on my upcoming home move moving house usually comes with upheavals that needs managing and I’ll show you here my life load chart that’s updated today I use this chart to review with my GP and my therapists and my health providers on how I am tracking and managing life stress the green bits are positive contributors my life and the red bits are negative the sizes of the boxes show how positive or negative they are and the idea is to get the chart broadly green and to manage the reds now if you look at this you can see that my home is a big contributor to positivity in my life I’m healthy because important things I get from my home what function it serves uh that it gives me safety and cleanliness and vibe in my home such an important thing so all this all this has to be reestablished when I move home because this boxes will likely turn red before the new home is set up so while the move is happening I have to ensure that the rest of the chart stays pretty green that means my relationships and my work and my activities and my sleep and my meals all of that keeps being positive contributors and to keep the overall chart green now I’ve moved house many times and I discovered usually it’s not purely the stress of the house changing it’s the compounding effects of many things changing that is not planned and not well managed that results in house moving being a nightmare so for example when I move house just looking at the chart you can see that the home section changes but also for instance my neighbours again another big contributor in my life relationships that changes too so my meals are affected if my kitchen isn’t setup my sleep is affected if the bedroom isn’t setup if I stop doing my work because I’m caught up with the home removal and so on so as I scan through all these items a house move usually disrupts them and it is for that reason from my experiences house moves becomes a source of major stress so the advantage of being old like me and having moved house would be over 20 times in my life is that I have a good chance of making this an uplifting energy positive move I’m gonna involve many people in the meaningful experience of moving out of the house that I love and into another house that I will grow to love um I will enjoy the company and the help and in doing so and also contribute to their lives by sharing what is available in that house I am going to build meaningful routines as part of my moving process for instance I’m going to spend a few days totally dedicated just moving my beloved fishes and the fish tank so there are many things to come and as for you you are part of my positive experience sharing here means something to me reaching out through social media means something to me getting your feedback and your engagement means something to me and so let’s see what the next few months bring us I appreciate being able to share that journey with you

Date: 2024-07-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7387297078763932949?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 266 – Keys to a new house

today I’m grateful for new beginnings just got the keys to my new house so it’s obviously pretty empty at the moment over the next one to two months I’ll bring you along on the joys and pains of moving house and whether this house turn into a home well that’ll depend on the work that my kids and I put into this place and also to the people that live around us and to the community so hang on for the ride

Date: 2024-07-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7387150102558821639?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 363 – Early coffee in the city of Brisbane

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Date: 2024-07-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7387041702369889554?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 265 – CPAP machines.

tonight I’m grateful for my CPAP machine I hear there is a large population of people who are conscious and embarrassed about how they look with a CPAP machine but with close to a billion people around the world with sleep apnea and up to 50% of people who are prescribed CPAP machines but do not use them consistently I’d say I’m grateful that stars like Tom Cruise is leading way to show how sexy CPAP machines are

Date: 2024-07-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386932468605013256?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 141 – the day after a sick day.

today I’m back working after being sick yesterday I’m still not a hundred percent but feeling so much better after a full days’ rest I want to share with you something that happens commonly the day after a sick day so I finished my a meeting a few blocks from here um about 10 minutes ago and I was walking a few blocks from there to get to my car here and so that I can go to another location for another meeting that’s about a 10 minute walk but for the life of me I can’t remember what I saw in that 10 minute walk I just had a moment ago because I’ve been buried in my phone during that whole walk worrying about what I see in messages and emails that has come through I have been using that 10 minutes to try and catch up on the time that I lost yesterday now I’m stressed and thinking less clearly than when I started my walk 10 minutes ago for no productive gain because it’s just worry without any decisions or any possibilities for actions what I find normally happens that is that the day after sick day is that I try to cram what I deferred from yesterday and still try and keep everything I already have planned for plan for today so it’s not really adjusting my plans because I was sick it’s just cramming and that means yesterday wasn’t really a rest day it’s just a loan from the next few days that I have to repay so the next few days is going to turn out to be making me unhealthy the same for the same reasons as if I had not taken yesterday off at all anyway I can do what I can do and I can only fit into a day what I can fit into a day and no more it is best that I pay attention to what is happening here and now and to productive the productive thing is to worry about something at a time when I can act on it so I have a 20 minute drive from here and I’m going to take that time to relax and recharge before the uh next meeting so appreciate your attention and sharing in this moment when I’m actually going to take a break and I hope you take your time to focus on what you are doing rather than worry about the past and the future have a great day

Date: 2024-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386638775771761926?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 362 – Milk on sick days.

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Date: 2024-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386635533914508550?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 140 – Wake for neighbour’s dog.

today I received an invitation from my neighbour it’s for a wake for their dog Harry who passed away two weeks ago it says Harry a gentleman and loyal friend always in our hearts we’re having a wake to celebrate the life and times of our neighbourhood dog Harry we would love for you to come remember the dog he was and have a few drinks and pizzas with the neighbours death can remind us of how fragile life is and death can also remind us of how resilient communities are I’m going to look forward to sharing our memories of Harry with my neighbours at Harry’s wake

Date: 2024-07-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386521225889139976?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 264 – support when I am sick.

today I’m sick and I’m grateful for the supportive environment that I live in I fell sick this morning I caught something last night and this morning I was nauseous and couldn’t even stand up properly doctor said to stay home and rest I call people up to let them know and reorganised my schedule and I received overwhelming support and understanding from everyone I can tell a lot about the environment I live in by how it reacts at times when I fall sick if the environment responds to nurture me and restore me back to health then I know I have a good environment if on the other hand it responds to put pressure on me and make me even more sick then there is something to address in adjustments to those parts of my life as part of the environment it is also my role to support others when they fall sick to maintain the healthy environment it is

Date: 2024-06-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386274909221162260?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 139 – Organisations that last.

today I attended a formal celebration it was for the 117 year achievement of my church’s work in what’s called a Parish mission it was a formal suit and tie event we shared a lot of stories about the many achievements over a century now this programme is not a global giant like Apple or Google but I’ve come to cherish in my life that truly great organisations the ones that I want to be involved with are not the big shiny attention grabbing ones it is the long surviving constantly contributing ones like this that never stops helping and giving and one of the reasons that uh it survives I could see in what people said today in their speeches when people pay tribute they talk fondly of people of trust of care for each other they emphasise effort and persistence and the outcomes that comes from mundane daily grind and I compare these to more glamorous places and companies that I have been with in the past where it’s about competing and winning and constantly chasing that next big thing it’s such a contrast there are reasons why some organisations last and some don’t I hope at the end of my career and the end of the organisations that I built I can look back and I can see that I have built something to be enduring and meaningful I hope to be able to say to my sons that uh if you put your head down and work and focus on the joy of the work not the glitzy distractions then you too will find fulfillment and lasting success

Date: 2024-06-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7386258806747057429?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 361 – Lego filter

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Date: 2024-06-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385812906325183752?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 263 – making a friend.

today I made a friend it was just a few minutes of conversation that turns a person from being somebody that I know of to a person that I now know it usually happens so often that I don’t even realise that it’s happened I remember my son’s first day at kindergarten and he was so excited that he made a friend that I could see his enthusiasm and his energy when he came home and we all sort of grow out of that don’t we we grow out of cherishing the moment when we made a friend that we fail to even recognise that is worth a moment to sit with that thought well today I’m letting that sit with me for a moment to be grateful for it and to build on it

Date: 2024-06-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7385806441199897864?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 360 – Weekend Coffee with Friends

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Date: 2024-06-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385797660403453202?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 138 – Biden-Trump and constructive messages with ChatGPT Should I listen to ChatGPT?

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Date: 2024-06-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7385497641372765460?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile DAy 359 – Egg chair

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Date: 2024-06-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385494765464194305?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 137 – Music.

I’ve got nothing to reflect with you tonight I thought I’d play you some music how about that it’s an old Australian classic

Date: 2024-06-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385480368633203988?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 262 – simple everyday day.

something I try to convey in my video journal is that it is the boring everyday things that brings us joy that connects us to people and gives us hope today is a boring everyday day for me and as I sit down this evening and reflect on what fills my heart and soul I feel my gratefulness for the simple routines that grounds me the familiar faces that comfort me throughout today and the small moments that remind me of the beauty of the mundane like now I hope you take this moment to remind yourself of that too

Date: 2024-06-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385103991862086919?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 136 – Burnt chicken and neighbours

I’ll reflect with you a mistake I made today I burnt the chicken in the oven it looks terrible and smells worse and it will have to go into bin I’ll tell you the sequence of events and then let’s see what lessons I can learn from it it started this afternoon when I put this chicken in the oven for uh dinner tonight so when I took the chicken out to turn it over I received a call to attend an appointment that miss by mistake this morning so I told them I’ll come straight away and in the rush I put the chicken back in the oven I turned off the oven I thought I turned off the oven and then I rushed out so obviously the oven was still on and this is what I found when I got home an hour later so besides the interesting visuals of the burnt chicken which some of you may get a kick out of the interesting thing about this incident that is worth reviewing with you is what options I had when I realised while I was out that I may not have turned off the oven what did occur to me the first thing that occurred to me was that I can call one of my neighbours to come and check the oven because I’ve got a key safe into the house and uh my neighbours knows me and they know my home anyway I turn on my home camera and check the oven I could see that was fine and so I didn’t end up calling my neighbours after all the main reason I thought this is worth sharing with you is in this case I had options it is a small example of how community and neighbours around me make a big difference to seemingly uh trivial situations in the next few months I am going to move house and when I move the this essential option disappear so this incident reminds me that while I can set up the obvious thing in my new home like making my house pretty and comfortable and suitable for my lifestyle and my family’s life style I need to pay attention to the essential part of life and that is building relationship with neighbours who are part of my daily life I am sure all of you online will see parts of my house as I share it with you the more important thing to me though no disrespect to you is that my neighbours should know me just as well if not better sometimes these days it seems that we are pushed to let our online communities know more than our physical community do which is a bit perverse part of a meaningful life is knowing our neighbours so when we decide to move house how much time do we spend assessing what our neighbours are like when we spend immense amount of time and effort to move house and doing the logistics of moving how much do we invest in commute in connecting to our new community so that’s my 2 cents worth from my burnt chicken incident I’ll show that to you again anyway let me know what you think do you know your neighbours how much do they feature in your lives how you work at making them a part of your life let me know

Date: 2024-06-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7385078289066413320?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 261 – Sunsets.

today I’m grateful for sunsets like to catch sunsets every evening if I can for the simple reason that it reminds me of something I can always rely on things will always happen during the day that I do not expect people will do things I do not expect sometimes including myself not everything will go as I wish but one thing that always happens without fail is that the sun always rises and the sun always sets and because of that life is good I’m grateful for my good life

Date: 2024-06-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384769246196223249?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @Maz writes #gratitude Thank you for yiur fire! 🙏

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Date: 2024-06-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7384764437560855826?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 261 – Sharing difficult times

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Date: 2024-06-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384662844219936007?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 135 – Coffee Cup Analogy

I just spilt my cup of coffee what a mess I was just holding my cup when I stood up and my cousin bumped into me this is a good opportunity to review with you the famous coffee cup analogy have you heard it before let’s go through it first let me ask you this question why did I spill my coffee the obvious answer to that is that someone hit me that may be the obvious answer but a better answer a more helpful one is that I spilled coffee because there was coffee in my cup if the cup had water I would have spilled water and if the cup had tea I would have spilled tea whatever I fill my cup with is what I spill when somebody bumps into me most of the time I have stuff inside of me just like everybody else when people or events then come along and bump me in ways I don’t expect whatever’s inside of me spills out the solution to this is not that I avoid all possible situations of being bumped because that’s not avoidable so the question the thing that I can control is what do I hold in my cup if I hold gratitude and compassion and hope and love then something comes along and hits me that will come out if instead I hold pain and frustrations and anger and hate then something comes along to bump me that will spill out so everyday to me are choices sometimes difficult choices what should I fill my cup with

Date: 2024-06-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7384622112075533576?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 357 – Morning stroll

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Date: 2024-06-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7384410241363889416?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile DAy 356- Ice cream cake

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Date: 2024-06-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384399768744676614?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 260 – People. Everyday I find a moment of gratitude, to cherish my life and the world, and help me initiate positive action.#journal #gratitude

tonight I’m grateful for people I’m here waiting for the ice cream cake that I baked to freeze in the freezer and I’ll post photos of those in a moment if it comes out okay but I’m going through these comments that you people leave me and jeez you people are wonderful I mean look at this stuff it only takes a moment to be kind and you choose to do it and again and again there aren’t many of us here and probably we’re just people passing by each other on cyberspace and some of you I may you never hear from again but jeez these moments of kindness that you leave they matter and that you choose to leave kindness matters I can only be grateful so thank you

Date: 2024-06-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384322501003758856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 134 – JJ Redick, social media and bread

let me share with you something I do to help me determine what’s important and what’s not important on social media over the past day social media and news have been bombarding me with news about JJ Redick most of you aren’t basketball fans so letting you know that JJ Redick is the new basketball coach hired by the Los Angeles Lakers team and there’s this massive media coverage about whether he’s qualified to be their coach if I follow what my phone tells me and the emotions that a lot of these news stirs up then it feels like it’s something important for me and I would think that it’s something I need to pay attention to this because the fate of the future of basketball is shaped by this however when this happens this is what I do I’ll go to Google Trends and I see how this topic is trend is trending on Google Trends so as I suspected over the past few days it’s gotten a lot of attention so what I do next then is I compare to something normal that’s important for me for instance bread is important for me how much attention is that getting and a lot it’s getting a lot more attention than JJ Redick so in this day and age every time I pick up my phone it is bombarding me with something that it wants me to pay attention to and they are all in the form that says if don’t I dare look away or I’ll miss something important but they never turn out to be important they never turn out to be as important as something like bread that is normal and boring and I need everyday so unless something comes along that can compete over long periods with the importance of bread on Google Trends and I think I’m gonna put my phone down and ignore JJ Redick and go make myself a bread sandwich

Date: 2024-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384059900776795400?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 133 – short videos for engagement

why do you watch short videos on social media my understanding is that most people do it for some light entertainment I found out early in my video making that to if I am to do it to provide entertainment I’ll burn out so there isn’t enough juice inside of me or creativity for that matter to give people a few pieces of entertainment every day and night so what I found have worked for me to enable me to make a few videos everyday is to do it for engagement I’m coming from an unusual background I suppose um I’m used to speaking in front of large number of people as a university lecturer I would speak in front of an auditorium of people a few times every day I mean every week sometimes once every day during busy semesters especially those first year classes they would have a few hundred enrollments for the course but the strange thing is that out of with a few hundred people in front of you you’d expect there would be engagement right but but usually engagement is uh is a rarity rather than norm I recall during my early career as a lecturer I realised that only feedback I was getting was a few comments at the end of the end of semester surveys so if I don’t conduct my own course tutorials I virtually would have no engagement with any student for the whole semester no one asks questions no one comes talk to me after the lecture everybody’s busy with whatever everybody’s busy with so as I got more experience I became better at effectively forcing students to have feedback but still is um is like pulling teeth so so this what I’m doing now is a luxury for me to be able to speak about something that means something to me and get interaction pretty much immediately without needing to wait for some sort of survey later down track so your engagement makes a big difference and that I get to sit here and talk about those meaningful things well at least they’re meaningful for me um and get interaction so I do miss the small tutorials at university where I get to interact and help students on a 1 to 1 basis and I learn a lot from them just by that interaction myself so but I don’t miss the big auditorium classes I don’t see much value in all of those why don’t we just put out videos for those big classes that’s my view and that’s my rambling for tonight so tell me why you watch video like this one just these short videos what makes you watch them and what makes you watch them to the end to this point appreciate your engagement

Date: 2024-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7384057136831040776?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 259 – nights on my verandah

we’re moving out of the cold snap in the weather so tonight I’m grateful for more normal Queensland tropical weather so I get to sit out here enjoy my nights out here on this verandah I get to look out into the forest and relax before I go to bed in a few months time we’re moving to another place closer to amenities and to urban activities I’m going to miss it here A lot of times we don’t appreciate what we have until we lose it so over the next few months I’m going to make a conscious effort to be grateful for my nights out here on this verandah that I love before I move on to the next phase of life

Date: 2024-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7383953713578183954?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 355- Sundae

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Date: 2024-06-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7383689453765725447?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 132 – Life Stories

just a short reflection with you tonight here’s a photo collage that I made some time ago it’s my siblings and I with our mum 30 years apart these photos are useful because they tell a story in this collage it is a story of us smiling over 30 year lifespan they’re no objective version of my life story I can string together 10 good memories and make a happy life story I can string together 10 bad memories to make a tragic life story I picked this story this story makes processing the 10 bad memories a lot easier and it makes handling the problems that comes from that 10 bad memories a lot easier

Date: 2024-06-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7383680572234812679?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 258 – Arts and Craft.

I’m grateful for arts and craft this is a dragon crafted from a single piece of wire I picked it up from a local craft market in Singapore many years ago I’m grateful all around the world that people are devoting time and energy to exploring and expressing their creativity

Date: 2024-06-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7383310124284185874?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 131 – Meditation and Video Journals

I just realised tonight that I haven’t done my meditation for about two weeks now it used to be a regular routine for me but I found in recent months that my regularity in doing them have decreased and I just realised thinking about it that the last time I did it was more than 10 days ago one of the big reasons I’ve broken this routine has been this journal entry videos that I make like the one I’m making now the time I used to take a moment to meditate it is now subconsciously I’ve been replaced with doing these journal videos entries when I review why I do meditation there are a lot of reasons I do it to reduce stress to improve focus to build resilience to raise self awareness for spiritual growth for better patience the video journal entries that I do does all of those things how I normally make these videos is that a moment presents itself for me to reflect I take that opportunity to focus intentionally and um to tap into something meaningful for me that happens that that day a gratitude a a moment that made me smile a moment that’s worth sharing something painful that I need to process things of that nature that is worth reflecting on and focus so when that happens then the script starts to form in my head and I bring up my notes app and I start typing and it’s short and it usually the words comes pretty quickly and I put it all down I load those notes into a teleprompter on my phone like the one I’m using now and I record it then after I finish recording in a moment I’ll upload so some of the long ones take one or two hours usually I don’t have one to 2 hours so most of them are really only a few minutes um so throughout my life uh I have had a lot of book journals and I’m glad I have them when I look through all of them it almost tells a story and a history of my growth when I review all of the videos that I’ve been making in the past 1 2 years especially the one for this account I they serve the same purpose of chronicling of being a chronicle of my growth so back to my meditation I will resume them probably just before sleep because it is a useful habit to maintain however I’m comfortable that my journal entry here gives me a lot of those benefits that I used to rely on meditation giving me so my message to you is to keep a journal it has a lot of health benefits mental health benefits I don’t suggest you do it publicly like I do even I don’t post a lot of the most private things that I certainly don’t post when involves other people’s privacy so a book journal is good way to do it or a scrapbook or a notebook and share it some write journals and keep it to themselves I used to do that but I share it now with people important for me because I found that it makes it so much more meaningful so I hope you found that useful

Date: 2024-06-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7383284277271727378?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 354 – Children’s book

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Date: 2024-06-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7383105970748099848?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 257 – Birdsong.

This morning I’m grateful for Bird Song

Date: 2024-06-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7382877318034902290?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 353 – Apples

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Date: 2024-06-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382827549036154130?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 256 – Glass of water.

at this moment I’m grateful for a simple glass of water sometimes I leave my water and water bottle in the kitchen instead of carrying it with me just so that I have the excuse to take a break and get a drink water and by doing so take a moment to stop

Date: 2024-06-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382809757293268232?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 130 – Kindness Connects

I want to read you a passage from something I heard online this morning. It is talking about people in digital spaces, people like you and I. When someone expresses sadness, loneliness, worthlessness, hopelessness or even anger in digital spaces, they often telling the world in one way or another they don’t feel seen, heard or valued. It takes so little of our time and energy to say, I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. I’m sorry you have lost someone you loved. I’m sorry your work situation is difficult. I’m sorry people are treating you badly. I’m sorry you are scared and confused. I’m sorry you are feeling alone. You, you are not alone. Your feelings matter. Your experiences matter. Your pain matters. You matter. I’m crying partially because what I talk about are raw human experiences for all of us on social media and in digital spaces. What she talks about applies to me and I am almost certain that applies to you. But we don’t deal with it. Instead, we scroll and we scroll and we scroll. So he just sits there and acknowledged. But I’m also crying out of joy because it reminds me of all the support you have given me. I’m on social media everyday. Over the past 12 months, I have made and posted over 1,000 videos. That’s three to four a day. And from all those videos, the responses have been overwhelmingly positive from you, telling me that I matter, what I Say matters and because of that, I keep going all of my work now from what I do with the elderly in age care, what I do volunteering in schools where they are disadvantaged students, what I do to find resources for young people globally. You have a hand in, you are kind in ways that you may not even realize. I ask you to let that kindness envelop your life so that others may feel what I feel that kindness that represents the best of you. The passage I just read is from the author Lauren Hugg. It’s very rare that somebody devotes a lifetime of work to promoting kindness, especially in online spaces. She is one of those rare precious ones. The passage I just read is from Chapter 3 of a book Digital Kindness. And it’s only a small sample. I recommend you listen directly to her from her instead of just a second hand experience coming from me. Her latest audio with the passage I just read was released yesterday, 20th June 2024. Do a search on Digital Hope on substack, the platform or follow the link in this video description.

Date: 2024-06-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382539773702950151?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 255 – Bonds made with music.

tonight I’m grateful for music that was the first two bars to the Jasmine Flower Song a traditional Chinese folk song it was the song that my dad got my family to sing whenever we were together when he was still alive it was the last song we sang to him by the hospital bed as he drifted off and left us music binds us all it can play in our minds even when there is silence just like the bonds we have that was made with music cannot break while we can still hear the music play in our minds

Date: 2024-06-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7382518232042736904?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Dau 352 – Pizza

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Date: 2024-06-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382498042756336903?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 129 – the many versions of my name

today I’ll tell you about the many versions of my name start from beginning my parents gave me the Chinese name Yao Hong Leong in Cantonese or read Chew Hong Liang in Mandarin Yao in Cantonese is my surname meaning hill and Hong Leong or more formally Wang Leong means generous in my family they call me the Cantonese name Leong this name in Chinese has never appeared in any of my identification documents in my life they only appear in documents like my Chinese school reports or uh business cards and things like that the name that does appear formally on my identification documents like my Malaysian birth certificate and subsequently my passports and driver licence driver’s licence is Hiew Hong Liang surname Hiew first and middle name Hong that I share with all my brothers and personal name Liang with at last so as I grew up many people outside of my family will call me Hongliang and that sounds exactly the same in Mandarin in Malay or in English when I moved from Malaysia to Australia at 18 and I enter university my name was recorded as Hong Liang Hiew as is convention here which makes it look like Hong is my first name when really is my middle name that is common for all of my brothers I thought it would be simpler than instead of people calling me Hong that I just introduce myself as Hiew that’s a common thing in the Chinese community many people in the Hu tribe in my family included are known in Chinese as Little Hiew or Old Hiew or brother or Sister Hiew or Uncle Hiew even by close friends and so for decades um since 18 many people knew me as Hiew many thought I was referring to the name Hugh spelled H U G H now as I grew into my 30s and forties uh family became larger and more mixed and some of the non Chinese started to get confused calling me Hiew while needing to refer to other members on my family so they started calling me what my family calls me Leong and to avoid them getting confused why they spell L I A N G and pronounce Leong I started to spell my name L E O N G and so I started to use the informal name Leong Hiew while all my formal identification still remains Hong Liang Hiew as the internet and social media took hold of the world and many systems started to come online a half of them will have my formal name Hong Liang Hiew and another half the second half of my life will have my name Leong Hiew and that’s where I am now with all these many names depending on where you pronounce it or whether you write it and depending on what script you write and and depending on the circumstances so this situation is not unique to me if you talk to most migrants Chinese or otherwise you encounter the situation of names being changed for one reason or another and so we hold different names you also find that most of us are quite comfortable having and being called different names but I found that some people who do not have this name confusion are quite adamant that they want to get my name right but you can’t it’s better to just live with the imperfections than we just move on so there you go that’s the story of my many names and I’ve never told this whole story until now so if you’re one of the first few viewers of this video you are the first people who know besides me and I appreciate the chance to share with you so I am sure many of you have stories about your names I’d love to know let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-06-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7382083966049864967?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 351 – Heat on cold days

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Date: 2024-06-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382075266358725896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 253 – home heating.

today I’m grateful for home heating Australia is going through a cold snap these past few days and Brisbane’s the same some parts of greater Brisbane recorded temperatures below 0 degrees this morning I hope you’re keeping warm

Date: 2024-06-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7382059655960218881?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 128 – traffic cone on a street lamp

I’ll show you something interesting on the streets of the city is an orange traffic cone on top of a street line post what do you think happened here if you think like me you probably immediately go into the world of make believe and fantasy and think of a story of witches battling wizards on these streets last night and this is a witch’s hat left behind when the witch was vanquished into a different dimension as she hung on on top of this street lamp but probably you’re not as silly or childish like me and you may be practical think about the safety of the person who climbed up so high to put the cone there or maybe you’re more concerned with the look of the cityscape and you think about how you can get the cone down and remove the eyesore or you need to report this to have it broke down or maybe you’re not concerned with these minor things and this question in this video means nothing to you or you don’t recognise what a street cone is if you’ve never seen it and you’re bemused as to what you’re looking at or you’re someone who lives on the street and you know exactly what happens that leads to a scene like this whatever it is that is your response I think it’s useful to know not everyone sees the world in the same way and most people don’t respond to encountering the same scenario exactly as we respond so if you don’t see the great multidimensional battle between the witches and the wizards as I do I’ll be disappointed but that’s okay I’ll try to see things as you see them and we can start our friendship from there

Date: 2024-06-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7381829453514673415?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#duet with @bleacherreport Smile Day 350 – Celtics Win!!! After 16 year wait.

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Date: 2024-06-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7381737495219817735?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 253 – Fuel Price Apps.

today I’m grateful for fuel price apps I’m low on fuel and I looked up an app then found a low price station among the sea of expensive ones what a bargain but when I arrived turns out that the price on the app was just out of date now I just have to be grateful that this teaches me how to read app data and just to be grateful I get to make another video about my own silliness believing things that are too good to be true

Date: 2024-06-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7381507059935726856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 252 – Desk Plaques.

tonight I’m grateful for desk plaques here’s one I have on my desk with a quote that I live by be what you believe in what do you have that reminds you of what’s important for you

Date: 2024-06-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7381369137525787920?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 349 – 3D puzzles

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Date: 2024-06-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7381367791552613640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 127 – getting stuck in conversations.

let me tell you about a conversation I had yesterday with a new friend I just met we were talking about schools and the education system which as you can imagine is quite a complex topic these days with the sheer amount of information and commentary that’s available we have access to a lot of different perspectives that we can bring into a conversation and I recall in that conversation yesterday morning we sort of got caught up being more and more entrenched in our own perspectives and our differences and in the end the whole conversation was dominated by those very minute differences between us when we discuss topics that involves a lot of people or involve society as a whole we can’t draw decent conclusions just from one or two conversations these subjects are intricate they’re multifaceted they need a lot of discussion to even scratch the surface however it seems we are often caught up by… I certainly know I am often caught up in the heat of a single conversation and we start to lose sight of the bigger picture and more importantly we lose sight of that we need to keep the opportunity to have this conversation across time and we lose the opportunity because we’re antagonised in one single conversation so what I think we need are mechanisms that helps us move past getting stuck things like people around who can notice that things are going nowhere and and move us on or um or having time limits in terms of discussing a certain topic or certain subject and and moving on from there or having awareness about cues to ourselves that we are arguing for arguments sake rather than actually having any decent conversation so these are what I call conversation skills and unfortunately I never learnt them growing up and we don’t teach them our training on how to have productive conversation has it evolved past what it was like say 100 years ago and even though the topics that we discussed these days are so much more complex than what it was 100 years ago so on social media and on internet you see a lot of this we see conversations often spiral out of control and you can watch videos where people uh people glorify and then people celebrate the fact that there’s this argument that goes out of control so we social media is not good at handling um multiple threads of conversation and weaving them into a coherent hole instead we get deeper and deeper into one perspective or one conversation and sometimes uh we are bombarded with exactly the same clip multiple times so big creators on these platforms don’t they don’t grow by learning and evolving and presenting variety they grow by sticking to a position that riles people up and then building up an audience that feeds on that single perspective which is unfortunate we end up missing out on the richness and that comes with diverse view points and having thoughtful evolving conversations across time so let me know what you think of this um do you notice like I do with myself that you get stuck in conversations and then when you reflect back and you wonder just how you got stuck so your opinions matter to me because um I like to spend the next five to 10 years doing a lot of work on this building communication mechanisms within our community that is able to um to promote healthy conversations I’d like my kids to grow up in a world where conversations as a whole are a lot richer and a lot more nourishing than what we see now right appreciate your comment

Date: 2024-06-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7380924121800084754?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 251 – Food presentation.

today I’m grateful for food presentation this looks almost too good to eat don’t you think

Date: 2024-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7380724874593029377?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 250 – Exercise.

tonight I’m grateful for some exercise before bed sometimes after spending a lot of time in front of a computer and at a desk is good to get the body moving before retiring to bed

Date: 2024-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7380670762178333969?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 348 – Baking Chocolate Cake

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Date: 2024-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7380636498506435847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 126 – my dad’s testimonial.

just editing my LinkedIn profile today I’ll share with you a recommendation I received long time ago here it is it’s from 2013 and it’s from my dad I turn it off so that it doesn’t appear on my public profile but I keep it because it’s from my dad and it means a lot to me I didn’t ask him to write this one but he was just getting onto social media in 2013 and he found my account so he wrote the recommendation I turn it off from public view because it is the sort of praise that a parent would give a child publicly so that it helps with the child’s career so I don’t think it is a reliable independent reference and the funny thing is is what he said in the testimonial is the opposite of what I remember him telling me in private because in private I remember him constantly telling me that I need to do better with handling my company’s accounts and and to improve on the way that I handle my staff and he may have point but that’s the opposite of what he wrote in the testimonial in the testimonial he gave me a glowing reference on those aspects of my work because he’s gone I can’t clarify that with him anymore I can’t determine if it’s just my memory um being biased at that I remember things the way that I remember them or whether he actually meant what he wrote here as a child I’ll always have doubts as to whether he was proud of me um and although my confidence and self esteem no longer relies on that with for my relationship with him it would be nice to know and now that he’s gone I can’t ask him and he doesn’t get to tell me if um he’s at my retirement what would he say I’ll never know I also wonder whether he knew how proud I was of him as father I wonder if he knew how much I loved him and how much I respected him I don’t get to tell him that I said that at his funeral but that was a few days too late obviously sometimes we hold back on telling people things that we want to tell them and things that they should know because we think that the more appropriate time would come sometimes the more appropriate time never comes so these days with my own kids I don’t hold back on letting them know what I think and how I feel about them and I make sure that they feel confident and they are open enough to tell me how they feel whether it’s good or bad so that no matter what happens tomorrow there’s nothing left unsaid

Date: 2024-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7380438052562423047?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 249 – my pillow.

tonight I’m grateful for my pillow it is the last thing I come in contact with at the end of my day and the first thing I come in contact with when I wake up the next day it is the story that I tell my pillow that determines what kind of day I had today and determines what day I will wake up to and anticipate tomorrow what story should I tell my pillow tonight

Date: 2024-06-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7380297286779276562?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 347 – Feelings

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Date: 2024-06-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7380296402649222407?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 125 – Conversation cards.

look what I found today conversation cards I went to Officeworks to buy some pencil sharpeners today and I came across them so these cards have uh questions and prompts to evoke meaningful conversations and I’m going to incorporate them into my family’s routines so that uh it makes connections even better I’ll show you some of these cards and what it says so this one says what sounds do you like best and why well for me the sound I like best at the moment happens to be traffic noise believe it or not for somebody who chooses to live next to the forest the traffic noise sound is an audio track that my that is most effective in getting my kids to sleep so when that low hum of that audio track is running it tells me that my kids are sleeping soundly so next one what do you how do you think animals communicate well I think animals communicate by routines by doing what they’re programmed to do so these routines signal from one animal to another what their role is in that animal tribe and it is these routines that animals learn to trust each other because they know what each other are going to do instead of needing to guess I think trust is a primary communication device um and then this one what do you love what do you love about being you this one’s easy because I love that I make myself available to take scenic routes to explore and to discover new things I love that I surprise myself so these are good cards and I’m glad I came across them today Because the past few days have been difficult days there are many things that happening that’s a drain for me um I’m doing tax returns which is never fun and uh having some difficulties with some difficult people um um finding some things in my diet are not working and probably the biggest thing that’s the drain is that I think I’ll have to move out of this uh house that I love that’s another story I’ll share with you that in the future so I lied a moment ago when I said that I went to Officeworks to buy pencil sharpeners pencil sharpeners was only an excuse I went because I needed to have to drive to take my mind off the stress and when I came across these conversation cards um and I looked through them I felt better and and I found that strange so I bought them and when I got home I spent some more time with the cards the more I responded to the prompts the better I felt I think it’s because they aimed at finding meaning tapping into meaningful thoughts evokes positive motions because it connects to my values and to my purpose it um it resonates with my core beliefs and my passions and I feel that satisfaction and happiness when I tap into those they remind me of um personal growth and relationships and to to contributing to something greater than ourselves so all those are connected to our positive emotions and they lead me to gratitude I found as I responded to these prompts that I thought about the answers for them um and reminds me that the world is good and is worth engaging in so if you like to give it a try this Officeworks $6 99 it’s bargain and um I’m sure you’re able to find online cards um able to find cards conversation cards online as well so this is not sponsored um these are all my independent opinion I just think $6.99 for some reliable prompts to happiness is worth giving it a go anyway I hope that helps you

Date: 2024-06-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7379512849112124679?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 124 – Evening rush

the sharing moment of reflection with you as I get home and before I go into my house it’s been a rush afternoon and I still have heap to do this evening I have my tax return to finish that from over a year ago it was due in may and I got an extension but now it looks like I’m still going to be late I’ll have to pay the penalties but if if you’re from the tax office letting you know that I’ve tried I’m sharing this moment of reflection with you because going from a rush afternoon to a rush evening it is the time that makes the least sense to stop and to think but it is the best time to do it right now my brain is racing there’s 100 things going through at 100 miles per second I have uh my heart is pounding fast even my watch is telling me that my breath is fast all these things that I come to recognise as being in an overexcited state I can feel the fear I am running out of time actually I’ve run out of time I’m going to get fined how am I going to get dinner ready tonight and um the what else will happen I can also feel the anger whose fault is it can’t be mine so it must be somebody else’s so they just surges surges of negativity and that is the state of um poor functioning the brain is going into panic and I can feel it going to panic and that’s why I’m talking to you or more accurately I’m talking to my phone screen because these reflection moments that I do everyday are my moments of calm connecting with people which is what the purpose of these journal entries are they get me calm and this is my moment of meditation just pulling out my phone to record a message a positive message a chance to think about what to say and that is an opportunity to calm down and to breathe and just that 10 20 seconds the world doesn’t seem as bad anymore and the problems are so much easier to solve how interesting how the brain functions

Date: 2024-06-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7379468113210903809?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 248 – GPs.

today I’m grateful for good doctors I just had my appointment with my GP she used to practice close to where I live and when she moved to this practice far away I bear with the travel to keep consulting her to get good quality care let’s face it it’s better to be tired out by a long drive than to be burnt out by poor healthcare

Date: 2024-06-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7379450153738046727?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 346 – Indian Curry Lunch

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Date: 2024-06-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7379176978882088210?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 247 – Content moderation systems.

today I’m grateful for content moderation systems on social media my video this afternoon was flagged as a violation of community guidelines on TikTok I reviewed the content and appealed the decision and the block was removed a few hours later the system isn’t perfect and a lot of times detects the wrong thing and blocks unnecessarily but although it is frustrating and inconvenient as a creator to have to deal with it as a father I’m grateful when the bar set high for content safety I would rather I’m hurt as a creator than kids are hurt as users

Date: 2024-06-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7379128585929493768?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Daye 345 – Pharmacy
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Date: 2024-06-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7379110658450754823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 123 – Student Voices.

today I released another episode in my Student Life Unplugged podcast series the podcast is about students talking about their lives and issues that are important for them and this morning I was uh reviewing the episode as I put up some promo material spoke to some future guests who may be interested in taking part uh and I had some long conversations with my extended family about what we’re hearing from these podcast episodes I think having a chance to speak to a lot of the young people in this podcast I they have changed the way that I see things I recall the early stages of the development of this podcast and I was thinking about the format and the guests and I was in two minds as to whether we can sustain over long term the podcast talking to just normal students about their normal lives and I was thinking we need celebrities or experience educators so people who have uh opinions drawn from a lot of experience from a lot of students and I’m glad I didn’t decide on doing that because if I did then I would have lost a chance to hear a lot of the individual voices that I’m getting to hear now I think all too often conversations about students are dominated by non students by adults who give opinions about what students should have and the student voices themselves get drowned out sometimes I wonder about the last 30 years of human history when we see a lot of technological changes we see social unrest we see economic upheaval and I wonder if the human race is actually progressing are we better off than 30 years ago I mean we have mobile phones and we have self driving cars and we live a lot longer but are we better off and I wonder and I wonder until I speak to these young people I hear the challenges they face and just how much more complex they are than thirty years ago I hear all opportunities that they have these days that uh I didn’t have in my generation and because of that how confusing the whole scene is but as they’re facing that what I hear is maturity I hear the courage to face the problems to share with each other I hear willingness to try I hear capacity to learn and grow they show these capacity so much more than what I remember what I was like and my fellow students were like when we were studying so when the these students have a chance to talk what I hear is… are voices that gives me hope about what our future is going to be like they to me are the testament that the human race is moving forward they they make me optimistic for the world that my kids will grow into but these young people they they need opportunities to find their way they need some space and some support I hear in their voice in all their voices a hope that the world will give them a chance and I hope the world will give them a chance

Date: 2024-06-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7378850167719480584?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 245 – VR technology.

tonight I’m grateful for technology they can take me to some of the best golf courses in the world for round of light exercise and emotional relief after a long day

Date: 2024-06-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7378756043125443847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 122 – My living room sofa.

this is my living room sofa I’ve had it for many years it’s of great sentimental value to me there’s a lot of memories in here I talk a lot about memories in my channel memories to me are the foundation of who we are they shape our identities they tell us what we value they guide us in where we’re headed in our lives we need memories to form relationships to build our careers to to have a purpose in life this sofa has been with me when I was single and then I went to a long marriage and then having children then divorce and rebuilding my life there’s a lot of things in here there are marks in here from when my boys were sick all over the sofa to penmarks when they did craft on the sofa so many evenings we spent sitting here and reading it is those memories that I hang on to which is why I still have the sofa but it’s no longer good sofa though as sofas go it is full of stains as I’ve shown you and the spring in this bit here it the spring is gone so when I sit down it’s actually hard to get back up I should have replaced this sofa a long time ago so yesterday I was having a conversation with my neighbours and we were talking about stuff that we hold on to how do we decide what to keep and what to let go of having managed an aged care facility for many years I have seen many people and families hoard things of great sentimental value and it starts off making sense to hold on to things that are set that are have sentimental value but it can easily overwhelm uh families to the stage when their whole lives is about adjusting around house effectively full of junk so what is sentimental and what is junk how do we tell so with this sofa I realised that the main reason I’m holding on to it are for the positive memories that it evolves every time I look at it and every time I sit on it it evolves the times that I had with my kids and I’m afraid of losing that connection if I lose those memories however even my eldest son has said many times that he rather have a proper sofa to read and relax on than than this so I’m holding on to something for fear of losing my connection with my son while at the same time diminishing and damaging that relationship with him so fear is never a good motivator for building a life so it’s time to get rid of it I’ll take some photos and videos to preserve my memories including this one and then it’s time to find a proper sofa and move on to build more memories

Date: 2024-06-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7378264162914389266?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 245 – Sunday morning.

today I’m grateful for the smell of the city waking up yeah I know 3 2 1

Date: 2024-06-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7378092284308442376?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 121 – body positions for connections.

today I was in my car with my son and we were waiting for my other son who was in his dance class in the past when we do this waiting we’d go to a sitting area where the tables and we’ll sit offset each other like in the table position like this I’ll have my book or my tablet and he’ll have his book that he’s reading or activity book that he’s doing or playing something on his iPad but because of our body position we know what each other are doing and if he’s read something or he sees something he’ll look up and tell me something and all I have to do is just look up and we’d talk about it now if I think of something again I just say it and he’ll look up and we’ll talk like I said we are attuned because of that body position now today we decided to stay in the car for no particular reason we just decided not to walk to the sitting area so I was in my driver’s seat and he was in the back seat uh we were doing what we normally do individually but after about an hour I felt alone and he looked like he felt alone too so we were totally disconnected so this is a in this reflection I wanted uh I am thinking about the body position and how it enables or disables attunement or an connection I’m reminded of classrooms uh when I went to school when I was young in Malaysia we had large classes who was I was one in 50 and we had this rows and rows of students by themselves sitting looking at the next student back because it’s just one after another in the table by yourself it is main purpose is to stop students from talking because everybody supposed to listen to the teacher I’m glad good schools and classrooms today don’t do that because we we have seatings that arranged to encourage students to communicate there are lot of really flexible arrangements to enable them to do that they should learn to communicate and they need to have the opportunity to communicate in seating arrangements that reflect that in daily life I am thinking at the times when I signal to people to leave me alone by turning my back at is a very discouraging feeling when you wanna connect to somebody and you see the back of their heads so I think I wanna be more conscious of sitting to face people like I said so uh to give the opportunity to speak and even if the that opportunity doesn’t arise straight away there’s nothing to just talk or to uh to uh to communicate about that the opportunity is there and to give a chance to emerge moments later because if we’re not facing each other and we are seeing with a back to someone then that opportunity doesn’t arise and it only takes a few of these back turnings for someone to decide that they’ll turn their backs too I think we can do with a lot more encouragement to connect by facing each other rather than isolate ourselves and uh by turning our backs to each other so in the future my son and I will not wait in the car we’ll go to the sitting area where we can connect

Date: 2024-06-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7378083085847481607?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 244 – Chinese surnames.

tonight I’m grateful for surnames this is my surname the Chinese character for it is for Hiew or Qiu in Mandarin this is what the character looks like today and evolved from this the character Qiu means hill and you can see the original diagram that looks like two hills I’m grateful for the interesting stories we have behind Chinese surnames

Date: 2024-06-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7378043205935189255?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 344 – Evening at the Park

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Date: 2024-06-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7377742912001559826?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 120 – 100% available.

today I received message from my collaborator Marisa she’s a writer in Canada and I hired her for a project to build an online tool Marisa is sick and so she sent me a message informing me of that this prompted me to think about the common situation where I’ve been in Marissa shoes and I’ve been sick and I had to deal with my clients or my employers when I fall sick I’ve been an employee many times and I’ve been an employer even more times the situation seems to be same with the situation of a calling in sick so on the employee side I always feel guilty I’m letting the team down and I feel like I have to push through the sickness and continue to work on the employer side I feel almost compelled whenever somebody calls in sick to put pressure on the employee to who called in sick just because I don’t want it to be come a “habit” quote unquote this is the myth I want to address in this video this natural psychological tendency that we have that creates this cultural myth that assumes that people who are calling in sick are lying and being lazy you know a lot of jokes is made about that a lot of comedy skits are made around that but we have to address this uh tendency because it’s not productive to work when we’re sick and it’s well known it’s not productive to do that and working when we’re sick means that the disease or impact of that of the sickness spread because we’re not taking time to recover and the pressure to me seems come from two factors first one is that a lot of work are unnecessarily scheduled um unrealistically scheduled most of this the scheduling happens to assume that resources including human resources will be available hundred percent of the time that’s not that’s poor and unrealistic planning the second factor related to that is that we seem to hang our worth on being 100% available for whatever it is as a parent I feel that as teachers we do that for most of the workplaces we do that that we assume that when we take on role we going to be a hun available 100% of the time so the if we’re not hundred percent available then what are we worth it is this question of worth what value do do we bring to the world besides being always available because if we our only value is being hundred percent available to your team then you going to do silly things like push away through sickness and I’ve done that and a lot of times I still feel compelled to do that so so when I think then beyond availability as being my uh my true worth then I think about other things uh for instance I think about what my value is to my family so if my family is more important than always being available then then I would um the I will resist pushing myself out through work through sickness to continue to work because it impacts on my family because it makes them sick if I continue to work and I end up needing them to take care of me so um another example is that if I value for instance my creativity and my productivity more than I value being hundred percent available now if I push myself through sickness to work then I produce less creative work and therefore the the value of me being creative is a lot more than me being hundred percent available so this example then with my collaborator Marisa and not only with her but also for all my project my primary thing that’s most valuable to me in all my projects and my collaborators is our working relationship Marisa and I have a good working relationship and as a result of that we produce wonderful things it is that worth what is worse for me to preserve is that relationship over the long term rather than try and pressure or squeeze one to two hours out of out of her my focus when she’s sick then is a working relationship that she’s able to maintain over the long term that uh working relationship so my response to her then is for her to rest and to get well because that contribution to our working relationship is a lot more than than her pushing through so I think my main message out of this out of this reflection is that the next time you might feel um that uh you’re being sick but then you feel like you need to act like you’re superhuman and push through it think about what’s valuable for you what is your value to the world and you find that a lot of times it’s not being hundred percent available so I hope that helps

Date: 2024-06-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7377734944447008008?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 243 – Pets.

today I’m grateful for the role that pets play in our lives we have a dog in our neighbourhood his name is Harry he lived next door he’s 15 years old and he was not well and this afternoon the vet came and Harry went peacefully in his sleep we’re all very sad all of us who knew him but he was part of what made the neighborhood what it is and whatever all of us in the neighborhood grow into in the future we will carry a little bit of Harry with us goodbye Harry

Date: 2024-06-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7377733112559684872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 342 – Decorative Plants

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Date: 2024-06-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7377031436538285320?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 119 – Should I go LIVE?

tonight I’ll use this video to get some feedback from you those of you in this little community we have I’m thinking of going live in recent times I’ve been spending quite a few nights after dinner on my veranda year and uh when everything’s done and the kids have gone to bed on nights when they’re with me and I would think I will record this video journal I think of a subject I work out what I wanna say and record it and usually takes from anywhere from 15 minutes to about half an hour I’m thinking if I’m going to do that why don’t I just do my rambling life and since the point of me doing all this rambling is to talk to you I thought I’d ask you how do you listen to your favourite content creators do you engage better with uh pre recorded videos like this one or with live streams and what’s the difference in experience for you also if I do it live then what time it’ll have to be after the kids bedtime this after 8 to nine PM this Queensland Australian Eastern Standard Time and what day of the week is best I can’t promise you that I’ll do it especially since I have to work out my routine so they can fit around it but um before I decide I like to hear from you so let me know

Date: 2024-06-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7377020465501441288?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 242 – The World.

today I’m grateful for the world where in the world are you from let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-06-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7376598820488039687?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 118 – AI, laundry and dishes.

Tonight’s reflection is on this supposedly from the video game magazine the Edge and by the author Joanna Maciejewska It says I want AI to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing not for AI to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes I think one of the helpful outcomes from recent AI breakthroughs is to show what we have long thought were hard human tasks like fancy making fancy pictures or doing flashy talking it turns out that machines can learn those easily while the totally undervalued task like laundry and dishes machines can’t do them and I have to do them if more rich and powerful people who are getting vast sums of money and attention doing silly inflammatory tweets or drawing fancy war plans they have to instead go home and do their laundry and dishes I think the world would be a much better place anyway I have to go now I’ve laundry and dishes to do

Date: 2024-06-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7376541999157021970?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 341 – BLue Skies

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Date: 2024-06-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7376539980581113106?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 242 – Sunshine.

today I’m grateful for sunshine some of my problems are solved just by me coming out into the sun it may not solve all my problems but my problems are a lot less out here in the sun than when I’m not out here

Date: 2024-06-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7376244997764435208?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile DAy 340 – Indian Curry Dinner

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Date: 2024-06-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7376171672149216530?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 241 – Spectacles

today I’m grateful for my glasses and for optometry these are my regular glasses and I have my reading glasses here and my sunglasses in my car I believe spectacles and optometry has been an amazing addition to civilization to turn what is a debilitating disability into something so well developed and accepted and supported if all other areas of health enjoys the success of optometry a lot of our problems would go away

Date: 2024-06-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7376164266690301191?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 117 – Am I an expert?

today I was asked if I am an expert on learning I like to share with you some of my thoughts around the subject of what makes an expert the question of whether I’m an expert on learning is a valid one because if you look at my bio and my website and my other online profiles you see I have a lot of work dedicated to learning I have a lot of projects to create learning resources and I have videos and podcasts and reports all that leads to an impression about expertise in learning to me though I very much hope and try to work towards encouraging people to not identify or follow experts in when it comes to learning especially your own to me an expert is somebody who has deep knowledge and you can’t have deep knowledge over a broad topic like learning I’m happy to acknowledge that there are experts in specific topics like noncumulative algebraic geometry in mathematics or there are experts on the feeding habits of sea urchins in Japan or in education there’re experts on um impact of flipped classrooms on science students achievements in North America for instance to me these experts are people who devote a significant amount of time to understand and help us understand a topic deeply that is an expert to me there are no experts on learning just as there are no experts on science or religion or joy and happiness or gratitude or kindness evil they’re no experts on the covid phenomenon they’re no experts on parenting these are very broad topics and in those topics they’re just a lot of people doing a lot of different stuff some people though and especially leaders and spokespeople come off sounding like they’re an expert on these broad topics because they have experts working underneath them or experts that they tap into to enable them to present little snippets of expert knowledge about a variety of topics within that large area doesn’t make them an expert in any one of those topics though if I’m trying to learn deeply about a certain topic I would rather speak to experts who did the work than the leader or spokesperson who is speaking on the expert’s behalf to me most self proclaimed experts that are in the media or on social media are spokespeople I would encourage people to challenge and get over our tendencies to look at these things that spokespeople are very good at for instance being entertaining or being flashy experts are usually low key and doesn’t look for attention because it takes too much energy to get attention and maintain attention and it’s energy that they need to do the expert work and gather the expert knowledge there are exception but by large most people can’t do get attention and also do the expert work so if we’re serious that we wanna get expert information we first have to get ourselves to make a commitment for low key engagements most of the things I learnt in my life I’m including what I’m learning everyday now are from these low key engagements and then there are those attention grabbing stuff you know like this but remember just because I’m creating content on this doesn’t make me an expert it just makes me LOUD so what are my expertise what am I comfortable telling people I’m an expert in that what I believe I can talk for hours going deeper and deeper in conversation on those topics so for instance what I’m doing now I believe I’m an expert on scripting and creating multiple videos a day using my iPhone this one that I’m I’m on post on TikTok and YouTube and promoting engagements on those videos I think I’m an expert on that very specific task that I’ve been doing intensely for one to two years I’m a expert on that though only until TikTok and YouTube changes their platform or I change my phone then everything goes out the window I’m also only an expert on that particular task that does not translate to for instance Instagram where on Instagram I’m learning a whole new set of things and about making videos and promoting engagement so other areas that I believe I’m an expert in I believe um in the area of um 21st century learning frameworks as it applies to Australian curriculum version 8.4 and version 9 in the general capability areas of personal and social capability and critical and creative thinking I believe I have done a lot of work on that that um I believe I can talk for uh deeply about those then in my other work um in aged care I believe I can say that I’m an expert in in service procedures and interventions in cases of complex family dynamics in Australian families with where members are in members of family are in aged care so I believe I’ve dealt with that so many times over the last two decades that I’m comfortable talking about that deeply as for the rest of the stuff is all these attention grabbing stuff like on social media videos about joy and about engagement and change and kindness and reflection and balance now those are important topics but I’m just talking from my experience and hoping to influence other people like you to talk about them too I am comfortable in these topics to call myself a guide the facilitator promoter an influencer or a mentor and a teacher if you are less experienced than me I’m not an expert in these topics I will sound like a an expert though that happens when you hear somebody like me talk over many videos a brain seems to associate this long consistent rambling on a related topic with the notion that we can trust this person to talk about that topic it is fallacy of the way our brain thinks though I can’t stop you feeling that but I ask you to think critically and assess who can actually speak expertly about the topics that you listen to so to summarize I think my main point is that I don’t believe that there are any experts on your learning or your happiness or your life the experts with specific knowledge that can influence you that you should listen to but your learning and your joy and your life those are things you own and you self direct so now tell me what you think tell me how you determine when somebody is an expert I really love to hear that

Date: 2024-06-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7375884840077446407?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 116 – praising a spouse

today I’ll tell you about my friends Andrew and Trudy about one particular conversation during a friends gathering some time ago Andrew and Trudy are married and have grown up children during that conversation Andrew was talking about something that happened with his family then he explain how Trudy has his back is effectively his rock of support and explain what he meant I mentioned that in this video because unfortunately in my circles praising a spouse is not common actually very rare I certainly didn’t do it which explains a lot why I’m divorced I also hardly ever hear it which is why when Andrew did it it caught my attention the fact that it was done without any cynicism or sarcasm is remarkable it takes a certain level of comfort with themselves and with each other for this to be part of a normal conversation I do not believe it’s something many people know how to do to praise a spouse or partner or colleague in a balance and tempered way we do trumped up versions of it when we have retirement parties or Christmas lunches or funerals we do not know how to do it as normal conversation or if we know how to do it then we are not emotionally comfortable doing it I wish my kids grow up in a in an environment where people know how to praise when praise is due like when somebody supports us another another point I wanna make about being comfortable with praising is back to the conversation when Andrew said what he said as I said it caught my attention but I didn’t say anything so here is somebody demonstrating what is a positive behaviour something that contributes to the positive world that I hope to build for my children yet I had no response the moment passed and there was no action for me to reinforce it if behaviours are not reinforced they do not perpetuate in this massively interconnected world that we live in today if I do not act to reinforce what is a future I hope to have the future will not come so today I mentioned to Andrew and Trudy about what I thought about that conversation some time ago I hope they do a lot more of it and I hope that children hear it when they say the things they say I hope people give them positive feedback when they say it I also want you to know that you contribute to my world that you support me by simple acts like believing enough in this message and believing it is worthwhile for you to watch this video to this point that you reflect the positive future I’m building towards I want to say that and I hope you know that and I hope you too will praise those who support you and by doing so make reality the world that you wish to have

Date: 2024-06-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7375863687145393415?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 399 – City Skyline

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Date: 2024-06-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7375745972116163858?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 240 – Bridges.

today I’m grateful for bridges I’m on Kurilpa Bridge one of the few foot bridges that connects the two sides of Brisbane city across the Brisbane River the concept of a bridge is one of the great engineering achievements of human civilization its function is to connect to what has been divided and grateful for bridges that are built in all parts of the world

Date: 2024-06-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7375523401898757394?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 239 – Poetry

I’m grateful for poetry tonight I’m doing a video reading of the poem Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge 40 years ago I learnt this poem by heart for high school English literature I still don’t know what a poem means but the words and the rhythm has stayed with me for 40 years and it’s greatly enriched my life if you know what the poem means then let me know in the comments and watch out for that video reading

Date: 2024-06-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7375522643413339410?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 388 – Poetry Books

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Date: 2024-06-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7375392302220578066?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 387 – Business Cards

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Date: 2024-05-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7375120844265229586?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 115 – moving past emotional triggers

tonight I’ll continue with my reflections about emotional triggers this time about what I do to move past the emotional triggers to talk about that first let me clarify what I mean by emotional triggers what I mean by that is are emotional events or circumstances or words or actions things that provoke intense negative emotional responses rising mostly from memories of unresolved issues and uh result responses that we cannot control so to overcome these triggers I subject myself to positive triggers that evoke positive emotions to counteract it there’s a notion in psychology from the work of John Gottman that for every negative interaction in a relationship that damages the relationship we need to have 5 interactions to rebuild the relationship again and I often think about this and apply to my relationship with myself that means for every one negative experience I’m subjected to that damages me I find five positive experiences that repairs and rebuilds me back up that’s the ratio to keep my energy and that keeps me moving forward yesterday I said that the best positive response is gratitude for the trigger itself when I can be grateful having that painful memory and be glad about how much stronger that it has made me and to be empathetic for empathetic to others who may have contributed to uh to that pain but that type of gratitude state is um for the deep emotional negative triggers takes a long time of positive processing to to arrive at so in the meantime there are much easier ways to evoke positive emotions so photo albums is a very common thing that I find very useful uh this music uh meaningful music especially from my teen years when my character was being formed and the music is fused into those those formative years and there are people who are finding family and friends that trigger positive emotions uh everybody around me evokes different emotions at different times and it is finding that connection that is useful po… that’s useful for a particular time so keeping basic health is important also it makes a big difference I try to eat well sleep well exercise get some sun and basic health doesn’t stop the fluctuations when emotion are triggered but they move this fluctuating bar higher so that the negative is not that bad and positive is much better than what it what it normally would be so so there you go that’s the way I think about it and what I do tell me how you deal with those negative emotional triggers and um and what do you do and I’ll catch you in the next video

Date: 2024-05-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7375097392091237640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 238 – Screen savers.

tonight I’m grateful for screen savers sometimes I just sit on my sofa and I just watch the screensavers it’s like watching a portal into another world

Date: 2024-05-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7374803146943581447?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 114 – Getting over emotional triggers.

tonight I’ll continue with the thoughts that I had from last night about responding to being emotionally triggered one important aspect I thought about that I like to share is how do I tell when I’m over it is an important question because whenever I’m triggered and somebody ask me if I’m okay I invavably will say that I’m okay that I can handle it when really I’m not and most people can see that I’m not so how do I know when I’m actually over an emotional trigger perhaps it’s best for me to explain it by telling you about an episode when I was triggered for a long period from far enough in my past that I don’t implicate or identify anyone I’ve been in aged care services for a lot of years and at one point I had a care worker who was working for me and she was careless and she made a mistake with uh giving food to an elderly client that she shouldn’t have it was outside of the client’s prescribed diet and it could have cost the client her life and it was avoidable because we have processes and training for that staff for it and there was no excuse it so it wasn’t the first time this worker had made the mistake and so I disciplined the staff for for that mistake she wasn’t very happy and it turned into a big complaint union got involved and it dragged on for months and the longer that it dragged on for the more triggered I became and I recall one meeting when I sat with the union representative and the worker I turned into a shouting match uh what I remember is telling them how big a risk uh what this uh this worker was doing to the client and how old and frail the client is and can’t have the client these clients um bear with such safety risks at the meeting we arrived at a negotiated resolution I wasn’t happy with the resolution but I agreed with it so we can move on and I used this example because I didn’t emotionally move on from the episode uh when the negotiated solution was reached uh there was no more actions to take but I still spent weeks and months thinking about it and ruminating about it and like I described yesterday the story just kept changing in my head and only in my head just on and on and on it went things only started to change emotionally for me when kindness start to enter my my thoughts the kindness towards the worker whom I had for all that episode considered to be an adversary and is when I started to be able to hear what she was telling me that I have ignored for a long time that she too needed protection just as much as our elderly clients that she was over 60 years old herself and the disciplinary action that significant impact on her livelihood places her and her family in very vulnerable positions and perhaps the kitchen work wasn’t suitable for her but having been with the company for nearly 10 years and working consistently at full time for all that time maybe the company can help her move on to something more suitable rather than acting to punish her for her mistakes and the kindness started to extend to the union official whom I fought so hard for so long and I started to be able to finally hear the question that she consistently kept asking and that question was um is it reasonable what I’m doing and to to move from interpreting the question to be one that I thought was meant to antagonize me to begin to understand that it there is a valid point in that question that and to realise the answer is no I what I was doing with the disciplinary action that I decided on was not reasonable and then the kindness extends to myself to face the fact that I knew as it got messier and messier that I had it a lot to do why it got messier to forgive myself for being human and not being able to make the whole problem go away to forgive myself and say I’ve done what I can and it’s okay and the stage when I knew I was no longer triggered by the episode is when I can draw on gratitude to be grateful that I lived through that experience to no longer fight it and wish that it didn’t happen to wish that it would go away to know that I’m better with it as a part of me and as part of my history so there it is there’s an episode that I handle very poorly and who always recollected with some level of regret and some pain but at the same time I can hold on to it as part of me to move on and to be grateful for it

Date: 2024-05-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7374731760598338824?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 237 – Online groceries delivery.

tonight I’m grateful for online groceries delivery the kids went to bed and I discovered some ingredients for their school lunch tomorrow that’s missing so I hop online and it’s here in 25 minutes there’ll be no empty tummies tomorrow

Date: 2024-05-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7374457093761305863?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 236 – Glass of milk before bed.

tonight I’m grateful for my glass of milk before I go to bed it’s a simple pleasure that brings me comfort and calm helps me unwind before a night of restful sleep

Date: 2024-05-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7374361973846199570?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 336 – Lava Lamp

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Date: 2024-05-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7374330189842533650?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 113 – Emotionally triggered messages

I was emotionally triggered into sending a message earlier today that I shouldn’t have now the source of the trigger and content of the message are confidential so I won’t share that but I think the more interesting thing that I can share is my emotions and thoughts and behaviour that surrounds being triggered now I’m not somebody who sends out rash messages after being triggered I can’t recall a situation where I got angry I typed out a message and I sent it at the spurt of a moment I don’t think I’ve ever done that and I can’t recall someone complaining that uh that I did that my messages that are emotionally triggered are usually long and rambling so what usually happens to me is something triggers me and for first few minutes I will be fine and my perspective kicks in and my perspective will engage and have fun with processing whatever’s happening and but it is after the first few minutes that the emotional trigger stuff to happen as I process what happens and I realise what is wrong with it and what is toxic what is unfair what my mind starts to retrieve past difficult and painful episodes that’s linked to it so so it is those you know after first few minutes 10 20 minutes that that’s when I am emotionally triggered after that about 10 20 minutes that’s just me and so 10 and 20 minutes is of course a long time to be typing a message if that’s what I’m doing and so I am if I’m still triggered I will continually be drafting and redrafting the message and the message keeps changing and usually gets bigger and bigger at some stage I click send and so a rambling message gets sent but because of the the emotions the brain my brain doesn’t stop revising and revising the message more and more versions start to appear and then I feel compelled to send those too my brain is ruminating and is moving from one thought to the next one memory to the next quite mindlessly that is when those depressed feelings that things are not going well and then hopeless or anxious feelings worrying that I if I don’t write the message in exactly the right way then you know what the consequences will be so all of those things starts to kick in today’s one is quite is not bad um if the it’s bad I wouldn’t be here making this video so I think I’ll just live with what was sent today um and um and deal with what I’ve committed myself to um but unlike today I can recall past ones where uh I keep sending and resending versions and all of them are different because they’re triggered by emotions they’re just me ruminating rather than something that’s intentionally written sometimes I think you know with the the sensors that we have in our watch these days that um our messaging and email apps should be synced to the data that’s in those sensors and if they detect a high heart rate then they will let me send and make it look like it’s been sent but they’ll quarantine it and it asked me later on whether I really want to send it when the heart rate is lower I think that will be a useful thing to have or the the operating system can block all messaging apps if it detects high heart rates that that would be useful too uh I have people that works for me and with me who when they receive instructions or action requests or messages from me that are long and rambling they’ll just ignore it until I follow up with them at the later time that’s another way that you work with people who you trust and who has some idea about the way that you are but hopefully I don’t do that too much it doesn’t make for a healthy environment you know personal or work when messages are flying around that are emotionally triggered and has no communication value except to perhaps communicate that I’m an idiot so that’s one reason I try to devote time to I’m getting myself healthy and balance and keeping myself that way because I know I know I’m an idiot but I don’t need to broadcast this to the rest of the world with emotionally charged messages so what about you I’m sure you just like everybody else have sent messages that are emotionally triggered that you wish you didn’t how do you deal with it when when you have sent out those messages let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-05-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7373960335507590407?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 235 – Going with the Flow

today I’m grateful for going with the flow yesterday was supposed to be day 234 of my gratitude journal but for the first time in 234 days wasn’t a single moment during the day when I thought it was appropriate for me to put on my phone and make a video I remember it was close to midnight and I thought should I try to squeeze in the video just to keep the streak going but I decided to go to bed instead and I’m glad I did so yesterday was first time in 234 days I didn’t make a post a video I’m disappointed but life goes on and I’m pretty sure that none of you care at least I hope you don’t care please don’t pin your life and happiness on social media content creators

Date: 2024-05-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7373950456625777925?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 112 – how many views to sell a book?

I came across this video today it was about two authors who are on TikTok selling books and the first one just had a video go viral and had 1.2 million views on it but she complained that she didn’t sell a single book the second author was commenting on this and saying how common this situation is that his experience in his two years on TikTok is that he sold 5,000 books through TikTok but he’s had to get 500 million views in order to get it that’s the impression I get from with social media economics attention may be free in some respects on social media but because the attention is so fleeting it hardly translate to anything worthwhile I’ll link the video that I’m talking about in the description below I just I first started thinking about this when I came onto social media and some content creators were making a big deal out of how many views movies get on online streaming compared to people going to a movie to watch it in the theatre and after thinking about it I think you just can’t compare the two experiences that attention a movie would get being in the cinema is so much more compared to when people are watching it streamed at home it’s all the experience of going to the cinema of buying tickets and then travelling there of meeting up with friends and the anticipation big screen the audience the walking into the dark theatre and walking out of the dark theatre movie as entertainment has so much more capacity and power to change us in the cinema compared to where we click on it on our devices at home why I got to thinking about movies is because there is the same equivalents being made about learning experiences online compared to being at school and college and some are even arguing that online experiences can match uh the schools and colleges because of the uh some of the problems with schools and and colleges but to me again I think there’s no comparison I can go through a whole day intently going and consuming educational content and come out at the end of day with hardly any changes while if I decide to go to school and college the whole days experience would significantly change me but getting up in the morning and committing to um go to class and travelling there and the uh the the buildings the classes the teachers the recess the canteen the sports the assemblies the classmates and friends so many parts of the experience contribute to me learning to be the person that I would turn out to be I think so many societies have been lifted out of poverty because of educational experiences in schools and sometimes we focus on what didn’t work and we dismiss what has worked and I I hope my kids stay in school until the end and that’s what I will be encouraging and and helps bring to support them to do that as much as possible because there’s no online experience that can replicate it I doubt that we will create our online experiences that can replicate it that’s very strange for somebody like me to say because I’m building a whole project around students online there is value a lot of value in social media space and online space for students and young people but as an environment for engagement to support the offline educational experience that’s probably another topic um perhaps for a future video reflection but I’ll end the video here and I would like to ask you then what you think of the difference between your online and offline experiences uh for instance are you a fan of movies in the theatre or would you prefer to watch it at home let me know

Date: 2024-05-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7373478309859953938?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 110 – text, post-it notes and self direction

today’s reflection is about lessons we can learn from our children over the weekend my youngest son was playing around with creating a Powerpoint presentation and he reached a part where he wanted to put a set of text on the screen now me knowing the tools that he has available to him on his devices I had many ways that I could teach him how to do that and so I started to show him uh how to do that but he came upon the idea that what he’ll do is that he’ll just write what he needed to do on post it notes put it on a wall here and take a photo of it so he did that and as a parent knowing all the other sophisticated ways they could do it I tried to show him but he wasn’t interested and he moved on to do his next page in the end his overall presentation was amazing full of his own ideas and stuff that I didn’t realise he was aiming to do it’s useful for me to reflect on this for two reasons and the first one is that sometimes I get caught up trying to do things in uh in fancy ways when simple ways will work I have way too many options in my life than I know what to do with and a lot of times the simple way is the best way to do it so I can move on the second thing to reflect on is this urge that I have to teach my son so he doesn’t miss out because I have so much to teach sometimes I get this urge to turn something that belongs to someone else into something about me and my son will learn these fancy text tools at the time when it’s time for him to learn and that Powerpoint that was his Powerpoint not mine but it doesn’t lessen the urge to make it better if I thought he did it my way the outcome though shows that he did so much more with it because he was hung up with what someone else like me was hung up on so I can learn then to hold back and let him live his life I can uh learn from him to be more self directed myself and resist things in my life that I know are not important from pressures from other people so I hope that reflection and the lessons I learnt is useful for you too

Date: 2024-05-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7373344960847891730?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 233 – Family dinners.

tonight I’m grateful for families being together for dinner time in modern life there are so many demands from work and studies where family members cannot be together for their dinners so every opportunity to share a meal is something to be cherished

Date: 2024-05-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7373196318744890631?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 333 – Some signs makes me smile!

Video

Date: 2024-05-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372913071485930760?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @kim Shields @abby ౨ৎ … here you go… I was wondering what to do for Smile Day 332 today!

Video

Date: 2024-05-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372884594430921991?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 109 – Well developed human beings

today I was waiting outside my kids dance class watching the swarm of kids going in and out of their classes and moving between studios I thought just how blessed some of the kids are today and adults to have the opportunity to be exposed to broad array of activities like dance and music and how that contributes to us being well rounded human beings and it made me think of what kind of human being I want my kids to grow up into being in the educational space I work with my collaborators on attributes of students and young people that we’d like to promote the the list we work on not only encompasses things like curiosity and creativity and communication and collaboration those those obvious ones but also things like being considered and being balanced and being adaptable being self directed being able to bring people together able to empower others things that are about us being human beings other programs have this too for instance the International Baccalaureate has a profile of of learner and national curriculums have lists like this too for instance the Australian curriculum have a list of general capabilities that encompasses things beyond literacy and numercy things like personal social skills critical thinking ethical understanding intercultural understanding so I think about any one of these lists they give a good coverage of what is holistic development and when I think about my child growing up my children growing up if they grow up having these holistic development I’d be comfortable as parent that I’ve seen them grow up well and and has a good chance to thrive and be happy in the life that they lead what I worry about though and the point of this video is that outside of education their attention is not drawn on growing up to be like this I struggle to find role models to promote to my children among people who are well known and also well developed as a human being for example I recently came across the Time Magazine’s list of most influential people of 2024 and there are a lot of very successful people in there people who have achieved a lot leaders and tech innovators celebrities sports people hardest but I’m sorry I struggle to find people who I can say are great human beings is this is a list like this the best that we have is it the best among us my criteria isn’t high well I don’t think my criteria is very high I’m after people who are stable who are regulated who are kind to other people who are who take care of themselves basically to have their act together then maybe I don’t have it properly defined I don’t know but it seems that it’s very rare to rise up to be influential and still be well developed as a human being and I find that sad for my children that the message to them is that to rise up and be influential in this world you have to be you have to be less of a human being seems it’s not compatible to be at the top of the world and also be the best human being anyway I’ll struggle on I think I have enough good people among family and friends for my kids to look up to I just have to keep them away from famous people I suppose I’d love to hear from you what makes a good human being you know what is to you the Pinnacle of human perfection leave me a comment

Date: 2024-05-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372737262917930258?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 232 – Introducing children to creativity journals.

today I’m grateful for creative journal here’s an example of one I’ll show you what you can do for example this this one called the crystal ball test that says put a dot anywhere on the page and I’ll do that and then what it guides you to do are answer questions like how did you choose where your dot would go well I look for corner and I put my dot in the corner then it tells you if you just made a random mark were you being dismissive impatient or playfully spontaneous how do you usually respond to ambiguous situations usually I would find a shape and then make something from that then says did you consider other alternatives well I actually haven’t so it’s good for you to remind me that I can do that and then it says make more than one dot and that’s how we use creative journal I’m grateful for creative journals and what it can bring into my life

Date: 2024-05-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7372579781717609736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 330 – Scrabble

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Date: 2024-05-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372485795862547720?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 231 – making videos

today I’m grateful for the 909 videos that I made and posted here on TikTok it’s one year to the day that I made and posted my first TikTok video and to date I still haven’t posted any cat videos who would have thought that’s possible

Date: 2024-05-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372481363473091847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 108 – 365 days of TikTok.

hey guess what it’s exactly one year since I made and posted my first TikTok video from right here on my verandah on this chair in the moment I’ll play you what I said and you can tell me where I found what I was looking for some people ask me why I’m on social media especially because there’s so much negativity here I’m on social media because I’m happy and I like to share my happiness with people and there are lots and lots of people on social media who I believe are just as happy as I am and just as happy to share the happiness with other people I think the social media is a great reflection on what we bring into it and what we take out of it so one day in the future my very young kids will be on social media some kind in their future and I would hope that they bring happiness to whatever they’re doing and they take happiness out of whatever they’re doing so I can’t tell them do that if I don’t do it myself so that’s why I’m here well did I find what I was looking for are you the happy people I thought if you’re not I’ll just pretend you are how about that anyway seriously I’m more convinced than ever after doing this one year on TikTok and a few years on YouTube that social media is a reflection of what I put into it maybe happy isn’t the right word because some things I put out are sad and painful perhaps positive is the better word and I hope I’m putting up positive stuff and thanks for bearing my rambling I wish that you have the same positive energy that I get from being here and from sharing with you

Date: 2024-05-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372195677582937351?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 330 – movie nights

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Date: 2024-05-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372119978214034706?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 107 – Who will buy my trampoline?

I got rid of my trampoline today it was a good trampoline and served the family well the kids were in there a lot when they were little but they’ve grown out of it so about year ago I tried to sell it and when I bought the trampoline many years ago brand new it was $1,600 so when it was time for me to sell I thought I listed at $500 which to me was a bargain so I listed it on Facebook Marketplace and then at eBay and it may have listed it other places as well but I didn’t get a single query so I suppose we all see second hand goods in different ways to brand new ones and we don’t place as much value on second hand goods as we do on brand new so that let me then to drop the price I dropped it from 500 to 400 then now to 300 then down to 200 down to 150 I started to get a few more queries but um still no one in the end showed up to pick it up and then pay for uh pay that price so back then this was a year ago I thought I’m not gonna lower it less than $150 you know for to me $1,600 trampoline so in my head I thought I’d reach out to a few people to see who might want it or to sell it in another way but I never did and throughout that time the this issue of um disposing of this trampoline came out many times and it caused me a lot of stress because it took more time talking and following up with people than any real progress to dispose of it and took a lot of space because it was the big trampoline and so many times I thought if the trampoline wasn’t there then the kids and I can use that space for a lot of different activities yesterday I finally decided to get rid of it so I posted it on Facebook Marketplace for zero cost and I got 80 queries within the first hour and uh someone came over and dismantled it and then took it away so I was glad for this person because he was a dad and he had a trampoline before but it got damaged and he couldn’t afford to buy a completely new one and um two of his kids have since grown up but he has a very young one that’s uh coming up and the trampoline is perfect for it so and as I read all those queries that came in some of those queries actually had a lot of description associated with it there are many mums and dads with kids looking for a trampoline that they otherwise would not have and you know I wish I had more than one to to for them but what is reflecting on this whole situation tell me seems obvious that I was blinded by that one thing about the trampoline which is the money that I bought it for and the money I potentially can sell it for and that clouded all my decisions about the trampoline over the past year and so for the sake of effectively trying to get hundred fifty dollars I had a year of stress a year of loss opportunities with the space and probably most important that someone with kids uh in my community could have had a year of joy and laughter but they didn’t have it and all was that all that worth $150 so obviously not so I think sometimes the monetary price uh blinds me to the true worth of something instead of thinking about that one part which is that could it get me $150 I thought of benefits to others I thought about opportunity to use free up space and I thought about and I if I think about the stress of hanging on to something I would have decided otherwise but it’s something for me to live and learn

Date: 2024-05-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7372031467435674898?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 230 – Memories.

today I’m grateful for memories just going through my box of a very old sketchbooks about a year ago I made a video about memories it’s one of my favourite videos I’ll play for you today

Date: 2024-05-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7371750397800680722?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 329 – afternoon walk on the river foreshore

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Date: 2024-05-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7371665772034166034?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 106 – Volunteering National Volunteer Week

on this National Volunteer Week I’d like to reflect on some of the reasons that leads me to volunteering volunteering is a very personal thing in the sense that people volunteer for many different reasons and I don’t intend to list all the reasons that I know of I only want to reflect on those key reasons that motivates me probably the most obvious one is to me is like gratitude journaling there are some states of mind like hate and envy that are not compatible with gratitude so being in a state of gratitude means I’m not in one of those other states is the same to me for volunteering if I’m doing volunteer activities I am in activities I want to be in and not drag into activities I don’t want to be in now there may be some people who volunteer too much but for me and for most people I know we volunteer too little when I think about all the problems that I waste my time thinking about most of them I would not be thinking about them if I’m doing some volunteer activities and my experience is that most of these non essential problems disappear if I’m not sucked into thinking about them having volunteer activities together with other people doing things that we want to do helps me solve this problem because just by making these pointless problems go away so another perspective I have on this question of whether I should volunteer or not volunteer is that I imagine myself being at a dinner table and someone asked me if I can pass them the salt now would I be thinking at that time should I pass the salt or should I pass the salt to this particular person or do I have time to pass the salt of course I’m not going to think about any of those because by the fact that I’m sitting at the dinner table and someone asked me to pass the salt even if I’m busy eating I’m going to pass the salt it is the same question as whether I should volunteer by the fact that I chose to be in this community if something needs to be done and I can do it I’m going to do it the real question is do I want to be in this community that I belong to so it is about choosing which table to sit at what people we sit with and in what community so are all the people in this community the people that I want to essentially pass the salt to anyway that’s the way I think about it but I like to learn from you what do you think of volunteering and what is your experience like

Date: 2024-05-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7371654122484927762?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 229 – Volunteers National Volunteers Week

today I’m grateful for volunteers everywhere it’s National Volunteers Week this week and today I joined in some celebrations for the contributions of volunteers this morning I did few hours of volunteering at my church and a moment ago I joined in a virtual celebration of in the organisation The Smith Family sometimes we make the mistake of thinking unpaid volunteering is just a small supplement to paid work but the reality is that the vast majority of tasks that are done to power society are done on a voluntary basis from family members taking care of each other to friends helping friends to people helping strangers in formal volunteer programs we have a functioning world because we have volunteers and I’m grateful to everyone who put your hand up to do it

Date: 2024-05-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7371374981952982279?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 328 – feeding fish

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Date: 2024-05-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7371350613323468050?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 105 – reflecting on your comments

today’s reflection is pretty easy because I’m going to do the lazy thing and just reflect your comments yesterday I described a situation where I pulled up on a sidewalk and an angry pedestrian had go at me for it and how those emotions then propagated and I asked whether I did the right thing and whether the pedestrian did the right thing so there’s been a few comments on that video and I hope that there’s more but and I thought that the comments was useful for me to read and to think about all of you picked up on different aspects of the story one of you said if everybody did what I did then there would be chaos and it makes me imagine you know along that street that not just me but multiple people pulling up along the sidewalk yes it would be chaos and I wonder how many angry exchanges there would be instead of just one um then you went on to talk about anger how you react to it and how we handle it some of you commented on right and wrong about my question as to whether pedestrian and I did the right thing is there right and wrong to this situation at all so some of you comment on the relationship between the positive and negative emotions that what I uh one of you said the what I describe is like a pay it forward for good deeds but in negative way and uh the and one of you describe that uh what I said about anger can just as well happened for kindness that and the way it propagates so uh the the word the phrase that um you use was emotions is our energy in motion I thought that was useful for me to think about it in that way I’m here to thank you and to acknowledge the way you chose to engage to reflect on my opinions and to put forward your opinions in a considered way and I believe I am a better person than I was yesterday before I posted it and I believe I’m better person because I have engage with you on on this topic I learnt and I grew and I believe I understand the situation better and this belief I understand myself better I can deal with similar situations better in the future so thank you

Date: 2024-05-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7371344812471078162?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 228 – Plant Growth

today I’m grateful for plant growth this is my Lily on my veranda and how it looked a couple of months ago when a bunch of caterpillars got to it but now after some Protection and some watering is blossomed again a lot of times when things look bleak and hopeless take some faith and some love to make things grow again

Date: 2024-05-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7371006321774152967?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 327 – lamb skewers

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Date: 2024-05-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7371002438020631816?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 104 – parking spot and angry pedestrian

here’s a scenario for you did I do the right thing so I came to this parking spot this morning I booked it but the space was chain locked so I pulled up next to the spot and got out of the car and to figure out what to do and a lot of pedestrians had to walk past around my car to get past because my car was right here on the sidewalk so one pedestrian was very unhappy and told me after doing what I did now did I do the right thing or did the anger pedestrian do the right thing so while you think about that let me get into my car so that it’s quieter and I can talk about this so first of all now consider the situation I think the prede pedestrian had a point there were there are rules to the sidewalk and I shouldn’t be blocking a public path for my own convenience it was the wrong thing for me to do and I should have perhaps gone around the corner or um and uh then make some calls or something like that I had better options and I didn’t take it so however that’s not the interesting thing that prompted me to make this video it is about the anger I’m reviewing this because the angry pedestrian reminds me of times when I’m annoyed at at people and then I have a go at them I’m reminded that most times when I do that I feel better for a moment and then I regret my helpers but there also other implications from having a go at people so it’s like this morning when all the other pedestrians went around the car and then went on with their lives and moved on this one person had an outburst that’s a human thing to do and probably would have been okay if I admitted I was wrong and moved on but I didn’t I was then annoyed by his outburst and then I went on and had a go at the lady in that coffee shop next door because she made me the wrong coffee this not what I ordered that too is a human thing to do and would have been okay if the lady admitted that she was wrong and then she moved on but chances are she would have been frustrated and annoyed at what I did and she would have carried out emotions and who knows who she passed it on to so in the vastly interconnected world that we live in today it is not who’s right and wrong that matters it is the anger and the emotions that one person propagates and then becomes like wildfire that scorches the earth this and this has happened especially on social media so what should I do if someone had angry go at me I think I should take a moment I should have taken a moment show myself some kindness and let the emotions burn off perhaps talk to the people that I can talk to to let the emotions pass and then also show other people some kindness and not pass them my frustration and I think I should show that original person who had a go at me some kindness too because whatever is the source of his anger um it cannot be good that he hangs on to it and um that resulted in in that angry outburst so I hope he is well now I have to back up my car along the same sidewalk what are my chances that I’ll get away and not have another pedestrian have an outburst we’ll see

Date: 2024-05-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370969456027225352?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 227 – Networking.

today I’m grateful for networking skills it’s so useful in this day and age to be able to hook up a few cables here and there and be able to connect up devices and machines I am grateful for all the people who have trained me and um and um provided me with knowledge to do that

Date: 2024-05-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7370690660497673479?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 326 – moongazing

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Date: 2024-05-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370576745063402760?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 226 – Desserts.

today I’m grateful for desserts is it a problem that I have a positive healthy living channel and everytime I get tired I go out looking for desserts I have to post something on my gratitude journal right so you’re my excuse for this decadent behaviour

Date: 2024-05-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370561651432557842?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 103 – Tiredness vs Burn Out

just helping set up a new office this morning I’ve been moving furniture around now this is what it looks like now after a very messy office in the morning what do you think I love doing interior design I am very tired after morning of moving things around and a lot of work but I thought before I leave for the afternoon I’ll review with you the difference between a good type of tiredness from positive activities versus burnout they’re both tiredness what’s the difference to me tiredness from positive activities usually leaves me feeling good feeling accomplished some accomplishment feeling satisfied um and often the tiredness is temporary and I recover after having some rest or short break burnout on the other hand isn’t temporary it doesn’t go away with rest it’s a more persistent feeling of um emotional exhaustion of uh being detached or being a sense of being ineffective or the feeling that um there isn’t much accomplished so I think the main thing is rest if rest doesn’t make the tiredness go away then it’s probably burnout so I’m pretty sure I’m not burnout I’m pretty sure after I rest I’ll be happy with you know what I help set up uh this this morning have you had burnout before what do you do so let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-05-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370235437840960775?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 325 – Zen Fountain

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Date: 2024-05-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370162927434845447?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 102 – getting lost, staying human

I’m walking home after dropping off a hire car and this walk is a good um 8 to 10 km and I took a shortcut through a nice neighborhood here and but I found that the path is blocked by a forest without an obvious path through it so now I’m lost I could turn on the GPS and navigate myself out of this but I don’t want to I want to stay lost and to explore I’ve already discovered during this uh walk for the last hour that I’ve come across a lookout that I didn’t know was there and um and I came across some shops that I’m glad I came across to me is a quintessential human thing to get lost and to want to stay lost so while I’m walking I’m doing this walk I am listening to a lot of podcasts about AI which led me to think would an intelligent machine know how to get lost and stay lost so on in computing we have this test called Turing test and that is supposed to be a test of whether a person can discern between a human and a machine and so the test involves a human being interacting with two entities in separate rooms using a text screen and keyboard only and uh one of those entities is a machine and the other one is a human if a machine can interact with the human being with the human being to a stage where the human being cannot discern which is human and which is the machine then the machine passes the Turing test so my belief is that there are many language generators that are now like what is behind ChatGPT they can pass the test for most people the main reason to me why they can pass this test is that the test is set up to favour the machine now compared to that to the scenario that I find myself in right now where I’m lost I’m filled with different hard to define emotions like um wonder and curiosity and trepidation not sure where I stand not sure where I’m going you know it is uncertain as to what a conversation will contribute up to this and what um the two people interacting you know what the interaction is now in this scenario can the machine give me a decent conversation so when I’m lost as I am now you know although I’m doing this by myself um the I would love the company of many types of humans almost any type of humans I’m happy to talk to a 4 year old to an 80 year old I’m happy to talk to a work colleague to an old friend or to a complete stranger who may not even speak my language but have a different culture in different ways of uh expressing ourselves almost all humans have something that I will welcome as company as conversation in situations like this so so I’m wondering as I walk along what does an intelligent machine what could that offer me in terms of um getting lost and staying lost so that is my very personal criteria that I just thought of what an intelligent machine is to me what it is is that when I’m lost and I want to stay lost and I prefer the conversation of a machine as much as I do to a human then machines would have reached a level that I would accept as intelligence so what do you think do you like getting lost and I better get myself home somehow thanks for your company

Date: 2024-05-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7370145075428412679?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 225 – my phone

right now I’m grateful for my phone I’ve just dropped off my hire car and I’m about a few kilometers from home and I was wondering if I should catch a ride home or walk I decided to walk cause I can catch up on many podcasts that I haven’t had chance to listen to for past couple of weeks and I get a good hour of healthy walking too life is never dull if we take advantage of what is with us and what is around us and the other good thing about having a phone is that I get to share this moment so I’m grateful for my phone

Date: 2024-05-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7369971931988249863?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 324 – Jigsaw puzzle

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Date: 2024-05-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369898139005898002?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 224 – Car.

today I’m grateful that my car is back in my garage after 5 weeks out for repairs they say that we shouldn’t get attached to material things like cars but I am and as an aged care provider for many years I’ve watched people give up their cars due to age and I see the profound impact it has we can’t underestimate what a car means in terms of freedom empowerment and opportunities to build memories I’m glad mine is back in my garage tonight

Date: 2024-05-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369884657774546184?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 101 – the AI media hype

today I was just catching up on some news with ChatGPT’s release I would like to reflect on the popular media hype that surrounds AI I’m a former AI researcher myself and when I started my career 30 years ago at the university of Western Australia that’s what I did I sat in my dark room by myself with my computer and I programmed artificial neural networks I build them I feed them data I watch them grow and learn so it’s impressive what I see now you know compared to those very old days it’s impressive what is being produced and it is a very useful tool but what I wanna reflect on is the overhype in popular media that surrounds it and this message that gets puts up that gets put out that it will revolutionize society to me thinking about it critically I have to say we don’t know there’s a long way to go the future for anything doesn’t depend on its potential it depends on what we do with it so we still have a long way to go but looking at how the media is hype is uh has created a hype around it I’d have to say that the chances are that it won’t revolutionize society rather than it will I’ll explain to you what I mean from the few perspectives the first one is that I consider all the technologies that has actually revolutionized society in the past like electricity or automobiles or powered flights or the internet with all of these you can never find a period in history when it was developing rapidly and the popular media covers it and predicts that they will revolutionize society there’s something about the way that popular media works where it is prone to be manipulated by a few loud voices to promote something that few loud voices want to promote the actual work that goes into revolutionizing society are usually done by quiet people somewhere around the world now are people that are working on these these technologies and they are focusing on results they’re focusing on usage and we will wake up one day and realise the world has changed by these technologies without the associated media hype so another way that I look at it is asking the question how does something gain this astronomical popular media attention to me can only do so if whatever is being put out meets little resistance so for something be truly revolutionary it needs a whole ecosystem it needs to have education needs people to teach it need people to learn it it needs to build up a workforce around it it needs organisations and businesses in order to do research development product design user support it needs funding sources it needs regulatory framework it needs risk management it needs public advocacy in and needs to deal with intellectual property it needs a whole intellectual property infrastructure so I can go on for hours about all these components that’s needed so a technology to gain astronomical media attention and the hype that surrounds it it means that the media cannot find people from all these different other components to comment and so the media sell feeds on those few messages from the very few people to me it indicates that the field is still quite hollow and when hype dies down what is underneath it that will keep it going so I’ll bet you at that time when the media hype does die down that it will be the real people the quiet ones doing the real work who bring us the real potential of AI and will not look nothing like what the popular media is predicting today anyway I could be wrong but I’m going to keep listening to these quiet ones in my experience it is their voices that actually makes a difference in society

Date: 2024-05-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7369599748929588487?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 323 – Reading bedtime story

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Date: 2024-05-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369560946882268423?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 100 – Supportive people

tonight I want to talk about you but first let me talk about me I’m picking my car up from the mechanic tomorrow Yay those of you been following my journal entries know how big a saga that’s been it’s been 5 weeks since my car broke down creating a massive disruption to my life then they was trying to get a temporary car then that hire car leaking oil and getting that replaced then the dealership having the car for 2 weeks and then telling me that it will cost an arm and a leg to fix and then deciding that I should trade in the car and going around looking for a second hand car to buy and finding nothing suitable then deciding in the end to fix the car and finally finding a good mechanic who can do it there’s been a lot of challenges I’m happy with how I handled it I took each step as it came I kept my perspective and I adjust it as the situation demanded and now in spite of the significant financial impact of the cost the the massive amount of time that I’ve lost I’m happy where I am and I’m happy to have had that experience as part of my life the thing that I want to talk about the most though is you and your role in this saga those of you who are part of this a very small community of ours first of all the fact that you exist that when came time for me to think that how I would describe what is happening to me I chose to think positively because you have shown that you respond to positivity I had to think what is the silver lining and what is uh it that I should share how do I share my frustration in a healthy way how do I share how I move forward I think about all of these things and I think about them positively because you are positive when my videos about my difficulties went up none of you escalated my emotions none of you provoked me to hate to rant to blame even though there were a lot of easy targets to hate and to blame what you did was show support empathy to reflect a positive view and you made it easier for me to act and to solve my problems and I appreciate the role that you played in that so in these past five weeks in spite of the intrusion of this car problem I think I’ve done some good things I’ve done some good work in my education work in aged care in my community volunteering in my kids school and in my church and with my family and my friends and all of those contributions I made you have something to do with it because you chose to lift up instead of tear down when you saw me share my difficulties many people make a big deal out of presenting social media and the Internet as being a negative space that is not true there are good people on the Internet and you are those good people so thank you

Date: 2024-05-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369449768818461960?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 223 – Throw out meat

Here’s today’s gratitude it’s bin collection day in my area today and the garbage truck have been through in the morning and I open my fridge and I discover I have this out of date meat that I forgot to put in the bin last night that I was supposed to now hmm let me see if I have space up in my freezer yes I do so I’m grateful that I have space in my freezer to put my meat and store it for a week before I get to throw it out next week so remember life always has space life always makes space for us if we let it

Date: 2024-05-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369162688225758482?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 99 – demands on attention.

today I’m a bit burnt out so I’ll try to be short with my reflection and I’ll reflect on my overloaded afternoon and this common difficulty that a lot of us have where we need to pay attention to too many things I had an afternoon in a half day conference and I feel the half day demanded a lot of attention too much attention the presentations were very visual uh there were a lot of animations and videos but they distracted from what was being presented and everything else like the entertainment and the displays and again were attention grabbing but doesn’t add anything substantial I feel there’s a lot of this in society today where we dominated by a very inefficient attention economy where a lot of activities that triggers dopamine and captures attention but has a very little value and a lot of things that do have value find it very hard to cut through and get attention that’s what I mean by is a very inefficient economy it’s it’s not hard to get people’s attention for instance if I wanted to captivate your attention I can do that it’s just standard tricks of shock and movement and so on however I put you that for the short second or two that the moment ago that I had your attention it was a waste of yours and my time because it had nothing of value there was nothing created there was nothing curious you know nothing communicated it doesn’t spur thought it doesn’t give insight doesn’t promote balance connect and so on it’s just attention for attention’s sake and so I have this chart that I use for my family and in this chart only one part of it which is oh let me see hold the phone properly only this part which is focus time is supposed to demand attention everything else is supposed to be supposed to not demand high level of attention that to me is balance so what I’m going to do now is actually go on to do what I have on my chart which is do my meal time connection time downtime and sleep time that’s my remedy thanks for your attention

Date: 2024-05-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369144922198330631?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 322 – take a walk with me.

today instead of just showing you one or two things that makes me smile I thought I take you on a walk with me so I can show you what I see just having a break during a conference so why don’t you come along with me while I have a little walk look at the sky the shapes and the light of the clouds the sky makes me smile look at the details of plants the little green shoots coming out from the old ones plants make me smile look the vines taking over the bollard just imagine if the vine takes over this whole building like the Sleeping Beauty Castle that thought makes me smile that’s cute license plate Y F R what can I make up with that one “your fun ride” license plate makes me smile wonder if anybody’s in there are they peering out at me while I peer in at them we could be having a stare off that thought makes me smile rocks look at all the shapes and sizes rocks make me smile water water always makes me smile moving water never repeats it’s an infinite pattern disabled parking makes me smile to think we are at least trying to make the life of somebody who’s living with disability just a little bit easier services potholes here’s one for communications and this one for NBN it makes me smile to think how far we’ve come with all the services that’s available I wouldn’t be able to do this video and post it without all these services what have we here knocked over bollard maybe there was a big wizards and dragons fight last night and this got knocked over that story makes me smile even if it’s only in my head look at those interesting window panels how many rectangles can you count shapes makes me smile look at those alloy wheels wheel designs make me smile oh my shadow this character always makes me smile here’s a snake a dog a rabbit and it’s starting to disappear now doesn’t wanna play anymore well that’s my little 20 minute walk for the day thanks for joining me

Date: 2024-05-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7369097951131536658?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 222 – Battery Recycling Boxes.

Today, I’m grateful for battery recycling boxes, somewhere for my batteries to go besides going to landfill.

Date: 2024-05-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7368843782411783432?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 321 – My sketch pens

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Date: 2024-05-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7368807721019133192?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 98 – Ideals in real life

earlier today I was reviewing some Instagram content that I’m posting and the content is about making mistakes the message that I’m giving is that it’s better to own up to mistakes to learn from it and to move on rather than try and cover it up or making excuses for the mistakes that I believe is a healthy positive message that’s my message reflecting on it though do I do it myself do I own up to mistakes and then move on in my mind are events in my personal life where I still haven’t told the people that is involved it with the mistakes am I a hypocrite for telling people to own up to mistakes when I don’t do it myself so that’s today’s reflection between these ideals these healthy principles that we live by compared to the realities of living the life we live first about advice that I hear and read all advice to me to some extent are ideals and generalizations I have to determine when they apply where they apply and how to apply them sometimes advice like thou shall not kill are a lot easier to live by compared to for instance you should be honest at all times even when your partner’s asking you whether she looks overweight so it’s a minefield trying to live by that last principle so conscious of how I process advice when I give my when I give advice myself I do realise that I’m presenting ideals and somebody who’s listening to that advice have to exercise some discretion as to when whether or when it applies and how it applies to them sometimes I think you know why should we even have ideals why not deal with every situation on a case by case basis and decide accordingly but it does seem to me that it would be a very uninspiring life and also very stressful without some ideals in that we strive for and that underpins the way we live and some ideals for us to live up to so I think it’s useful to have some some ideals it forms some basic values for ourself you know what we live by who we are but with these ideals we are then faced with the challenges of of when to apply them where and with who and how how to keep them in balance and with everything else and how to adapt them how to use them in the considered way so one of the examples I have in my head that I was talking about is when I didn’t tell the person that was involved in my mistake is that someone gave me something of value to him and and one day I slipped and I broke it now I was sure because he lives far away and he can’t travel anymore that if I don’t tell him he will probably never know if I do tell him is it good for him is it good for me is it good for our friendship if I don’t tell him and then he finds out true other means is that much worse than if I just told him and and dealt with the consequences the does that break our trust in such deep ways that it’s not worth taking the risk how does me telling him affect all the other people around him who is who is taking care of him and if I tell him then what is the remedy you know how does that help the the situation so there all these questions and I don’t know if I did the right thing um this one of those difficult situations where a few different principles and a few different ideals clash in real life and then I have to pick one of I have to pick a non ideal choice so the biggest lessons from for me from that and also from a lot of these dilemmas is to pick the best choice and move forward without beating myself up about it anyway that’s what I wanted to share with you today about ideals and about ideals clash with real life and to deal and having to deal with it in a considered the balance and an adaptable way so my parting questions for you is what are your ideals you know what do you live by and how do your ideals come up when it hits real life let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-05-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7368803768877567239?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 221 – Dental Floss.

today I’m grateful for dental floss it’s one of those things that if you have to travel back in time to a few hundred years ago before it was invented and you have to explain to somebody what it is for them to make one for you you’ll find it very difficult so then you end up needing to use needle and thread or something like that to clean between your teeth I’m grateful we have dental floss now

Date: 2024-05-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7368425134358678792?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 320 – happy restaurant menu

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Date: 2024-05-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7368300999137611015?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 220 – Coffee Breaks.

today I’m grateful for coffee breaks especially with my favourite coffee cup here because the coffee means taking a step away from something difficult to catch a breath and possibly let in thoughts and ideas that may not otherwise present itself

Date: 2024-05-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7368297017468128530?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 97 – Acting on Urgent Problems

today’s reflection is about my urge to act on problems I’m putting some finishing touches to a presentation this afternoon and it is a summary of conflicts within a project that spans across multiple organisations I’m having some problems with the presentation which is why I’m taking a break to reflect on it so the two problems I’m having with it is that 1 not overhyde the problem and 2 is to propose solutions for it I’m trained and enforced over many years in corporate culture to use emotions to supposedly inspire people to act and also to give solutions for the problems that I present both of these sound good and is a good foundation for for problem solving the dilemma I’m having this morning though is that the problem is quite negative it’s about conflict and so it’s very easy to drop into invoking fear or guilt and shame in order to provoke actions and the second problem is that is that the problem is quite new and it’s not clear what the solutions are and it’s not clear that I should be the one dictating the the options so the other reason that prompted me to make this video is that this dilemma I’m facing reminded me of a YouTube video I watched last night and it was one by an American um giving his opinion about US politics and the problems in it and his solutions for electoral electoral reforms so as normal on social media the this person has his own program and is actively recruiting and seeking funding for that program and the the presentation is this conventional presentation where the where he talks about this catastrophic problem and this is why his solution will solve it and then canvas for people to join him I understand that a lot of problems look urgent but if we fan the urgency of the problem and use negative emotions you know to tilt people I think it creates a lot more problems than it solves because other people that has different opinion can do the same and we just end up having another layer of problem which is that we’re now fighting over the solution that’s proposed rather than the original problem itself so I I see this being like watching a child that’s crying in distress if we draw attention to the child’s distress and then we run around and shout at people to come and do something and then we do 100 different things to with the child to act on that distress it’s more likely that the child will be even more distressed and people are less likely to come and help because they can clearly see that things are out of control the so attention then is actually on the person shouting rather than the crying child instead if we present calm not ignoring the problem but recognising that we need calm first to stay with child to give the child hug to sit and let the crying go for a bit and then there’s a much better chance that the crying will stop and we can have a child that we can work with and we can have people around who is willing to step in and help we have a world at the moment that seems to that tends to shout so I don’t know what I’ll do with my presentation later this afternoon um and and I’m thinking on reflection that maybe it’s good not to know too quickly

Date: 2024-05-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7368101428625231122?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

SMile Day 319 – Prawn Noodles

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Date: 2024-05-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7368067794581064978?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 96 – Memories of mum

it’s Mother’s Day so my reflection today is related to our bonds with our mums I’ll first play you some short clips from the student podcast I’m doing and we’ll hear from a couple of students about their relationship with their mums during their studies especially with my mum I’m very close with her she’s always kind of I went through some struggles and stuff in in secondary school so she helped me through that it’s gonna be very strange without her because she’s always there for me during my study times like if I you know need a snack she’s there you know if I want a cup of tea she’s there but also has emotional support as well moving away is the only thing on my mind I like independence there I don’t know is weird cause I rely on my mum but then I also really like independency it’s a contradiction we seem to have this contradictory feeling of wanting to be independent yet at the same time hold on to our very close bonds with our mums and consistently I hear this from students and I remember when I was a student I was like that too it is just really funny how our brains work when we’re little our brain does everything possible to bond us to our mums because it makes sense to do so we rely on our mums and our mums protect us we end up with these very strong memories and attachments but when we reach late adolescence to brain changes and now tries to get us to be independent the example I always think of is is this the brain wants us when we’re 30 years old and we have our own place and something goes wrong the washing machine breaks down for instance the brain doesn’t want us that the first thing we think of is “let’s call mum” we do that when we’re 15 but the brain doesn’t want us to do that when we’re 30 so our brain wants us to be independent and it makes sense the thing that gets me though is why then let us keep all those memories why don’t our brain just change and forget all those early memories and go on to be independent if the brain wants us to be independent then be independent and forget all the early bonding memories so that used to get me confused for a long time and but as I start to understand life I’ve come to work out what it is these memories that we have and all the feelings that go with it those are the things that count for instance when my washing machine breaks down now and and I have laundry to do I can deal with that problem myself because I’m a grown adult but the laundry and the washing machine reminds me of my mum and what we had it is those memories that gives meaning to the laundry and the washing machine and my family and my work and almost everything in my life that grew out of that uh those early life so as I grow out of adolescence and and reach adulthood and I finish school and I go to work and I have family I learn a whole lot of new stuff that my mum didn’t teach me and I build a whole new life that I didn’t have with with my mum but the and by doing so I spend a lot less time with my mum because I have a whole a new life but all those new things that came into my life doesn’t diminish my bond with my mum because the the memories are there those memories of those really strong bonding and attachment experiences now I’m 55 years old and sometimes I still work late just like I used to when I was studying for exams when I was eighteen when when that happens when I’m working late I remember those times when my mum used to bring me meals and drinks so that I can keep studying she don’t need to bring me meals and drinks anymore but she’s still a part of my late night work experience and in every other part of my life because I remember so why am I telling you all of this I don’t know I I’m just making videos but maybe what I’m hoping is that if you’re 18 like I was and you’re confused as to why your mum is hanging on so strongly and maybe you might consider that you don’t have to push so hard to keep her away because your independence will come because your brain will develop that leads you there and if you’re a mum who is who is like my mum was when I was 18 and you’re confused as to why your child is pushing you away so strongly you might consider that you don’t have to hang on so strongly because your bond with your child if you had it it will hold it will hold

Date: 2024-05-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7367994673400433927?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 219 – Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day Today I’m grateful for my mum and mothers everywhere I’m reminded on this day of the Confucian concept of filial piety represented by the character 孝 the character is a combination of the characters of 老 meaning elder and 子 meaning child when children are young the elders protect them shielding them from storms and dangers nurturing them to grow when the children are grown and are strong they in turn carry the elders on their shoulders so that the elders may rest and still be a part of their children’s journeys I’m grateful to be a part of this never ending cycle of family bonding my love goes out to my mum and to mothers everywhere and to children everywhere who are blessed to have their mums as part of their lives

Date: 2024-05-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7367694397879766279?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 95 – Teachers’ expertise

today I read this report from 2020 from the Queensland University of Technology Digital Media Research Centre on the use of Minecraft Education Edition in classrooms in different schools in Queensland it contains a lot of comments from teachers who were asked to trial Minecraft and I read a lot of comments in here about the fact that the the teachers see potential in Minecraft but because of their unfamiliarity with Minecraft it is a barrier so it made me think of something I think about a lot which is how much knowledge do a teacher need to have to teach a subject to a student it reminds me of a comment I received in my evaluation survey when I was a graduate student at the university of Western Australia over 30 years ago and I was tutoring in a course called Computer Graphics and the course was about using a graphics library called OpenGL to teach graphics programming in my end of semester evaluation survey one student wrote he was a great tutor but he knows nothing about OpenGL so that was quite a contrast in one sentence a great tutor but knows nothing about the core subject so the comment stuck with me for over the years as I moved on to be a lecturer in at university for many years to then many different types of work but education and training has was still a big part of most things that I did as I see technologies evolved and education change we now find that a teacher is the teacher can not possibly match the available repository of information and knowledge that’s available to a student from books and publication to Wikipedia to now AI that we can fine tune the question is what is the role of a teacher and how much knowledge do they need to have and as much uh and as I work on my own projects now to educate adolescents I choose to focus on the more challenging aspects of how to get a student to learn rather than what they need to learn and the central approach I take is that I see a teacher not as someone who is better than the student but can make the student better especially at college and university I see a lot of deeply knowledgeable experts who struggle to make students better at the subject area they are experts in and I’m not saying that expertise and what’s called mastery in an a subject area is not important to teach a subject it is very important what I’m saying is that with the tools available today it is no longer enough to be an expert perhaps it never has been enough it’s just that in the past student didn’t complain but it’s clear that the biggest challenge in learning today is how to engage in learning so over time especially in the past few years I’ve settled on the set of attributes that I believe is important how to be a contemporary teacher and so that involves a lot of things but primarily is to be able to promote curiosity and inquiry to be able to support creativity to communicate and collaborate with a student and to be able to role model good communication and good collaboration to teach how to adapt to teach how to find balance and to teach how to think critically and to reflect and to improve to uh to be to teach how to be self directed and self sufficient and to teach how to work in an interconnected world for all these I believe are important things and probably more important than than absorbing knowledge and providing expertise and funnily enough I find that these attributes I’ve just listed are also core to a contemporary student to me the boundary between being a good student and being a good teacher is no longer clear to be a good teacher you have to be good student and to be good student you have to be good teacher so back to this student who gave me that survey comment that many years ago I know that student and we worked in a few different roles in subsequent years so we talked a lot and what he told me was that he was he was pulling my leg with that comment about not knowing anything about OpenGL but what he was serious about was that I was a good tutor without needing to be an expert in OpenGL and my influence on him he said was to help him to engage in learning instead of focusing on my own expertise now back to Minecraft I use Minecraft a lot but I’m still a novice at it because I don’t play it enough I don’t spend enough time in it so the the the a lot of things in there I am not familiar with but what I get really excited about is when I’m engaged with a student in the game and I can match his enthusiasm he would teach me how to play Minecraft while I teach him how to learn and that to me is teaching and learning

Date: 2024-05-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7367680796456422674?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Da 318- Hangman and boardgames

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Date: 2024-05-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7367283794266606855?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 317 – sushi

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Date: 2024-05-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7367282363161709831?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 94 – Conversations

I was at my hairdressers yesterday you might have noticed I’ve had my haircut or maybe you don’t maybe it doesn’t make any difference to my look but anyway back to my hairdresser Georgie one thing I like to do at a hairdresser is to have a chat that’s one of the defining features of haircut and hairdressing I feel in my next life I’ll probably be reborn as a hairdresser or a bar attendant or an Uber driver just so that I can chat yesterday though there was a lot on my mind and when Georgie began the normal prompts for conversation like what are you doing for the weekend or are you having a busy day I only gave very brief answers to those prompts and so the conversation went nowhere we spent most of the haircut being quiet and it occurred to me after that as a society we don’t have this part of our communication sorted out that how to communicate when we don’t want to talk logically is very simple is just saying I don’t feel like talking or saying something like there’s a lot on my mind so if you’re okay can I sit in silence for a bit so all those are logical but we don’t do it and in my experience it’s not very common and so we don’t know how to initiate that and we don’t know how to respond to it mainly because it’s not common when we book an Uber ride if you book under Uber Comfort the you can select a conversation option and and you can indicate whether you’re happy to talk or not and this on the surface seems to be a good solution you know for customer to tell driver they need to focus and they don’t want to talk they have work to do and knowing engineers I think it makes sense to an engineer to put an option like that in I can foresee certain scenarios uh for a business person or somebody actually doing work in the car when that’s that’s useful but by and large though and a technology option like this to me misrepresents what conversation actually is conversation conversations are not something that one person dictates it is an activity between people it’s part of a relationship and so in almost all cases I can’t tell whether I’m happy to chat until I start a conversation and I get a response or somebody else starts a conversation and I have to respond so for instance yesterday at the hairdresser when my hairdresser started the conversation it could have gone differently if she says something like if she says something that taps into what’s on my mind and it could have led to me pouring my heart out and it could have been a long conversation or if my kids were there and they said something silly I would have engaged with that and my hairdresser would have jumped in and therefore we would have a long conversation so I can’t tell when I sit down on that hairdressing chair whether I want to have a conversation or not so like most things relational and between people conversations are unpredictable they’re non deterministic and to an extent they are messy but also they are beautiful and they’re energizing and they are creative it’s what makes things between people so amazing so it’s an art form that’s worth devoting time to again and again for us to get better and better at it so I hope my hairdresser will still talk to me the next time I go I’m sure she will because they are a wonderful and hardy bunch hairdressers and I will need to do some of my own work to sort out how I communicate when I want to be left in silence but what about you how do you do you like to chat and how do you communicate when you want to chat and when you want to be left alone so let me know in the comments I’ll see you in the next video

Date: 2024-05-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7367204347626720530?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 217 – Online Collaborations.

today I’m grateful for online collaborations I had a zoom meeting this morning with my collaborators in Canada on the other side of the world to gamify an educational assessment tool I’m grateful for the online tools available that enable these collaborations and the mindset the effort and energy that the people I work with bring to the table to enable these collaborations to work

Date: 2024-05-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7366938694734957832?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 316 – old coins

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Date: 2024-05-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366876007371967751?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 93 – Fairy Tale Endings

some fairy tales don’t have happy endings TikTok in recent days have been showing me a lot of clips from the movie LA LA Land and I think it’s because I posted a few singing duets with the movie’s main theme song and I’m a big fan of the movie and for those of you who don’t know the movie is about two characters a an aspiring actress named Mia that’s played by Emma Stone and an aspiring jazz musician named Sebastian that’s played by Ryan Gosling and it was their romantic love story as they build their career in Los Angeles so the TikTok clip that was shown to me this morning was an interview with the writer director Damien Chazelle where he was asked why didn’t he give the story a happy ending there was this scene right at the end when Mia and Sebastian were looking across to each other across a a cloudy room and at that point the movie could have ended with them running towards each other embrace and live happily ever after but the director chose instead for them to have a brief smile with each other turn around and walk their separate ways so the way that the director was explaining it in this clip I saw this morning was that if they had stayed together then for us audience would have we would be wondering just what happens to them next but the way that he chose the ending is that it was an actual ending to that I say well it may all make sense in terms of emotions and in terms of the artist artistry and in terms of storytelling but what about all of us who’s poor fans who sat through the movie and all the emotions that goes with Sebastian and Mia’s fairytale and then to have her hearts torn out at the end we want a happy ending but life’s not like that in life we built up a lot of endings that we wish to have but they don’t all happen that way we go through races and competitions and we picture ourselves winning we go to school and college and we expect to pass that final exam and complete our certificate and move on to our career we start a job and we expect our career to be a rewarding one but they don’t always go like that what do we do when they don’t I’ve been married and I’ve lived through divorce it is something I rarely touch on because it involves privacy of a lot of people beyond my own but one thing that’s not a secret is that divorce is painful the end of marriages is painful among all the things that I dealt with at divorce I remember there was this one big question that took me a long time to find an answer to and I’m still trying to find the answer to and that is can I tell a positive story about my life to myself most of all do I have a story that includes the pain and the ending but still I cherish the life I lead I do not wish any parts of it away any parts of my history away how do I let those painful parts sit with me while still looking forward to the future to relationships to connections now to me why the processing of endings is so important is because in a sense I know how my life is going to end it’s the same as how your life is going to end we will die we will be gone and people will cry and in my life I’ve cried at many funerals for a lot of people I love and at those ending points it is painful it’s the grief and the loss and and holding on to all those memories and the emotions that go through the memories but having nowhere to go with them and the fear of what life will be like without these people that are so important to us but as the initial surge of grief pass I recognise that their lies didn’t end because they all live in me the stories continue with me from my dad and my grandparents and all the way to family and friends who are younger than me who went before I was ready for them to go their stories did not end because their lives live in all of us whose lives they touched and one day hopefully not anytime soon my time will come I will be gone and I believe my children and maybe grandchildren they will cry because it’s sad It’s sad that our fairy tale had to end with one of us leaving but I hope that when that happens that they too will learn to laugh because they remember that our fairy tale is made up of so much more than just the end

Date: 2024-05-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366805701148151047?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 216 – Mechanics and Friends.

today I’m grateful for good mechanics I’ve just dropped off my car here for engine part to be replaced here at a mechanic and waiting for my ride home my car has been out of commission for over a month due to engine problems and trouble with dealer service departments not having uh adequate solutions and this mechanic his workshop might not look like much I hear in the middle of nowhere but he’s very popular and very experienced mechanic who’s so busy he only takes clients recommended by other clients so my neighbour who is very much into cars made the recommendation I am grateful for friends who offer help during times of need

Date: 2024-05-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366566763967925522?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @Courageously Kind Reflection Day 92 – KINDNESS CHAINS.

I’m extending the kindness chain follow the stitch below to the video by courageously kind and add your kind comment or you can add kind comment here or better yet extend it even further and build your own kindness chain among your family and friends now to those of you who tell me you have difficulty expressing kindness that you have tried this kindness thing and you have helped people that um you’ve supported them you’ve given them things and you’ve made sacrifices and you try so hard and you do so many good things but invariably somebody comes along does a nasty thing and destroy everything that you’ve built I know how you feel and I feel for you but maybe you might consider not building kindness on your own because kindness built alone in isolation is fragile kindness is strongest when it’s built in community with other people within groups in collaboration kindness that’s built hand in hand with other people is strengthened by the collection of hands and kindness that’s built shoulder to shoulder can weather the storms that’s thrown at it find your kindness chain and build your life around that

Date: 2024-05-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7366516861128822023?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 315 – Sweets

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Date: 2024-05-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366511313008348423?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 215 – Wedding Vow Renewals

today I’m grateful for wedding vow renewals I’m here at the venue of a friend’s vow renewal before it starts later in the afternoon I think it’s wonderful that people take the time and effort to revisit things that they are important and meaningful to them and not let the busyness of everyday life overwhelm them and lead them to forget

Date: 2024-05-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366296587368221960?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 91 – job titles and curiosity

I was revising some information on my LinkedIn page earlier this afternoon and one thing I always have a problem with is what job title I give myself because I do many things and I can never settle on one title I always put the word learner in my profile because learning is always a key part of all my experiences in all my career and my life but beyond that what else I put my whole website information into ChatGPT and I prompt it to come up with a uh with some suggestions of titles uh for LinkedIn and what it came up with is a “perpetual wanderer in life’s scenic routes” which makes sense to me because I’m always someone who likes to take the scenic route to in every journey that I have embarked on um so it makes sense to me but will the title make sense to anyone except me so I think ChatGPT caught on to all the description that emphasizes curiosity which is one of the big part of my makeup the attribute of curiosity so this urge to explore and to ask questions I think that’s so important many people grow out of this though this sense of curiosity once they go past their childhood and adolescence which I find to be unfortunate because the world has so many opportunities now to do these explorations and and to face many of the challenges that’s brought up by um the in the world we have having curiosity allows us to come up with solutions we might not otherwise have um have come up with it is an essential part of identity development that’s that’s another thing we seem to settle on and not want to explore which is our identity there’s a conventional understanding that in adolescence we develop our identity and then we settled and we spend the rest of our lives on that identity I don’t see that I uh with the world changing so rapidly many people who wants to just have a settled identity are the ones with the most struggles I think it’s healthier to I think it’s healthier to have a sense of wonder and curiosity about who we are as people about who we are as uh in our work who we are to people around us and who can we be realistic be realistically be in the world that we find ourselves when I talk to students every one of them is wondering who they are and who they will grow up to be I think adults should have the same sense of wonder what about you what title would you give yourself on an online profile and what title would you say realistically reflects you what title would you like to have if you have the opportunity to be anything you want I see a lot of really interesting TikTok handles in all of the profiles that that I see online so um do you pursue the title that you aspire to be why aren’t you pursuing those titles let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-05-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7366189119267015943?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile Day 314 – card game nights

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Date: 2024-05-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7366184562004643079?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 214 – Card games

I’m always grateful when we play card games because when we play cards they always jokers in the pack and you gotta laugh when they’re jokers around

Date: 2024-05-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365880054531771656?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 90 – Keep energy up

I did a lot of podcast work today it was mostly behind the scenes administration but I did do a few recordings of intro and outro to my interviews and so something I like to share with you is something that I’ve learnt while doing that about lifting spirits so I’ll just put my phone down because I’m going to need my to move my hands with what I’m about to demonstrate now my in conversations with my podcast producer Elisa she tells me about keeping the energy up and keeping keep being uplifted in the way that I say things and I’ve come to recognise that if I just use my normal voice when it comes through audio only then this it sounds like I’m quite disengaged now I’ll I’ll say this line that is in one of my intros and first I’ll say it in my normal voice “what’s really interesting about doing this series is what comes up in conversations” okay so now having done the work I’ve done this evening I’m going to say it in another voice “what’s really interesting about doing this series is what comes up in conversations” I don’t know about you but the second voice although it’s subtle sounds a lot more like I mean it and I do mean it so what the point I want to share is that I find when my voice and I give my when I give myself permission to move my hands and move my facial expression the not only does the voice comes out more uplifted I actually feel uplifted you know when I say “what’s really interesting” so you see the hands and you see the really interesting the face so I find a lot of times the cause and effects doesn’t go I feel something so I act that way it goes I act in a certain way then I feel it so I act happy so I feel happy and then other people see me look happy so therefore they act happy as well and that in turn makes me feel even happier so if I act down and out then the then I feel down and out and then other people make me feel even more down and out because they see me acting that way so there’s a lot of self fulfilling prophecy in this world that that we live in so I’m not saying that every scenario changes just because I act like it’s the opposite but some do and maybe a lot more than we think to me this is a big part of what I consider to be creativity creativity to me is not just about creating you know novel interesting things it’s more about creating the world we believe in and creating the world we want to live in and for me creating the world that I want for my kids so moving my hands and moving my face smiling creates that world and that’s what I wanna share with you tonight that acting in a certain way changes the way I feel and that in some cases can go a long way to creating the world that I want to live in

Date: 2024-05-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7365730001368517906?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 313 – Parklands
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Date: 2024-05-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365712727282633991?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 213 – Public Holidays

today I’m grateful for public holidays on a Monday it’s Labor Day public holiday here in Queensland Australia and I’m still doing some things for my projects and my business so it’s still work but I can feel people slowing down on a public holiday and there’s a wider recognition that work is just one part of life rather than life is just work and I’m grateful for that

Date: 2024-05-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365374580195642632?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 212 – Breakfast Everyday

today I’m grateful for breakfast most mornings I fast because I work that out with a dietitian as a routine that can balance my particular nutritional needs so when I get to have breakfast I enjoy it

Date: 2024-05-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7365373686666382599?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 312 – Cheesecake

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Date: 2024-05-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365069480176651538?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 313 – Possum in my verandah

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Date: 2024-05-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365066885664115976?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 211 – the good nature in people

Today I’m grateful for the good nature in people. I believe in the good nature of people. I believe there are so much more good natured people around than we give ourselves or each other credit for. I believe we’re looking for ways to engage our good nature, but we are often confronted or we’re provoked to hide that good nature. I trust in the good nature of you. I’m grateful for the good nature in all of you. I obviously haven’t finished recording this video yet nor posted, but I trust that when this does get posted and this reaches you, it will reach that part of you that’s often suppressed or pushed down deep because you hear from everywhere that no one wants to see that part of you, that good nature part of you. I want you to know that that is not true. Many people value that part of you. I hope you will grow to value it, too. I’m grateful for the good nature in people. I am grateful for the good nature in you.

Date: 2024-05-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7365060756997426439?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 88 – Unreasonable expectations of work.

I’m just setting up and testing some teleprompter equipment with all my existing talking videos like the one I’m making now, I don’t need a lot of sophisticated equipment. I just script a few points and then I talk into my iPhone like what I’m doing now but with my podcast being released now, I need the high standard of audio and visuals. So that’s why all this junk is here but the junk isn’t the point of this reflection. I took some time off my normal life this afternoon to, and I took over the dining table and to do this equipment set up and so that was back at noon as about five hours ago and the sun has just set and uh, it’s getting late. The like most common stuff with tech, once I get into it, one thing leads to another and a huge amount of time goes by and that’s life as I know it. But I’ve reached a critical point now and it’s very useful I believe for me to share this point with you because at this point in time I can keep going because if I stop now with this equipment, it won’t be ready for the start of next week and a lot of our filming plans is dependent on having this teleprompter ready. That’s why I took it home and I’m setting it up now but to do that, for me to keep going, I have to sacrifice my cooking. Plans and my dinner and my evening routine and they say there’s an overwhelming pressure to keep going and most of it is for myself because the impression always is that um home life is flexible but work schedule our work schedules they’re supposed to be kept so I’m sharing this moment with you now because I am going to stop in spite of that overwhelming pressure and to do the cooking that I’m supposed to do and I love to do and turn this dining table back into a dining table I’m lucky in the sense because I work with people who are used to me showing up at work and saying I’ve done my best but things didn’t go to plan and we have to adjust around it and and you’ll be amazed at the amount of group productivity that comes from teams that respect individuals or work life balance who are used to constantly adapting who finds ways and and solutions so that we can help each other out that because everybody needs that help at some stage and so and you also be amazed at how efficient work is when people understand each other and trust each other that they are we have needs and and we have to adjust our work around it so I’m sharing this point uh and this moment with you because I hope when you have tried your best and it’s time to stop then you won’t let the unreasonable pressures Of expectations of work destroy your overall life and I hope you find people to work with that you can trust that um, and to be able to accommodate the life needs. I hope you, you too work to be trusting of others and to be trustworthy yourself of everyone’s needs. So I’ve had my fair share of all nighters and hundred hour weeks, which I’ve had a lot of during stages of my life and there’ll be times when doing that and keeping going with work is appropriate, but not tonight. I’m moving on to do my cooking.

Date: 2024-05-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364766411085925639?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 210 – Large extended family

Tonight, I am grateful for family. I have a very large extended family on both my mom and dad’s side. Both of them are one of 9 children. And the whole extended family keeps very close contact with each other. I just had my monthly zoom meeting with my family where we set a date and time each month for all of us who can make it to get together and have a chitchat on zoom. There’s no fix agenda. People just come and go during the two hours of our gathering. It is sort of like the ancient Chinese family homes where extended family live in different wings of very large house and in the centre is a courtyard where people meet. So montenologies like zoom allows us to replicate that experience of meeting in the courtyard. I’m grateful for my extended family who spends considerable amount of time keeping our connections.

Date: 2024-05-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7364671944265895186?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 310 – Butterfly Captures

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Date: 2024-05-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364670229042990344?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 87 – 5 minutes late for vax

I’m outside a vaccination clinic just in our local city council library. Ah, City Council provides this service where I can get the latest fluvax for free. And my neighbour who say does immuniser put me onto this council initiative, which I’m very grateful for. But what I wanna share is my challenges getting here today. I miscalculated the time it takes to get from my house to here. So when I set off and I put the destination in my phone map, uh, to get navigation, it told me that I’m going to arrive 5 minutes later than the schedule appointment time. So I panicked and I started using, uh, road shortcuts that I knew about, um, in this area, which LED me into some heavy traffic that the Pro, the phone map probably knew about, but I didn’t bother checking and it ended, I ended up in a dead end because the roles have changed since the last time I was here. So I wasn’t aware of that. Uh, I arrived about 20 minutes late and, um, and arriving all stressed that I would miss my appointment. The immunization nurse though was, um, was very kind and she told me that they don’t follow the book times anyway and whoever shows up and have a booking will get a job. So, so what was that half hour of a stress for? So in, in cases like this, like in most cases, hindsight is, is 2020 and I shouldn’t Be hard on myself for what happened but it’s worth reflecting to learn something from this. Um, usually it’s not the mistake but the handling of the mistake or the cover up of the mistake that end up costing me as in what just happened. The the original mistake with um is calculating the time even in the worst case I arrive 5 minutes late and they say I have to rebook the appointment is free and um I’m coming in my spare time and uh lots of other appointment time suitable for me so if I had taken a moment to catch my breath when I realised um, I was going to be late I would have accepted being that five minutes late and would have a pleasant drive here and I probably would have listened to the podcast that I wanted to listen to and actually come out ahead of um of the ride so instead I lost one and half an hour and I gained a whole lot of stress. I certainly find it worthwhile learning from experiences like this. Some, there are a few other incidents that I’m currently handling where I’m trying to cover up essentially for past mistakes and I’m wondering if I should or I should just accept the mistake and just move on. So what about you? Do you have mistakes that you’re trying to cover up? Maybe you shouldn’t.

Date: 2024-05-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364420144854076690?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 86 Centrepiece fish #journal #gratitude Video of night sky by Rasheeque Ahnaf (Piash): https://www.pexels.com/video/sky-at-night-with-stars-5747525/

today I went to the aquarium to get more fish for my fish tank there are some really attractive looking fishes at the aquarium any of them will look good in my tank I think to be what’s called a centerpiece fish when I started my tank I thought a lot about what should be my centerpiece fish the one that I and people who look at the tank can enjoy as you can see from my tank I ended up not having a centerpiece fish I like my tank because all fishes get long as a community and I enjoy taking care of it because maintaining the whole ecosystem is more enjoyable than having any one highlight fish sometimes the beautiful things are not ones that jumps out and catches the eye sometimes beauty takes a lot more effort to spot but it is beauty worth seeing I share this with you because a lot of times we are pressured into trying to find the thing about ourselves that makes us unique when the most unique thing any of us can do is not to stand out at all to be comfortable sitting in harmony with what is around us to shine because we contribute to making everyone and everything around us shine this it is the art of being a star you see a star in the sky don’t look good if they shine alone in the night sky stars look good because they are part of constellations because they form patterns as they sit among a sea of other stars to light up the night sky we should be the star that makes other stars shine

Date: 2024-05-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364261421170822408?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 209 – This moment #journal #gratitude

right now I’m grateful for this moment I finished my previous commitment 10 minutes ago my next commitment is not for 20 minutes and I don’t have to go yet I can stop appreciate this moment right now and share it with you

Date: 2024-05-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364256538069929234?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 309 Getting more fishes at the aquarium.

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Date: 2024-05-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7364018953246526728?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 85 Complex emotions that come with age #journal#gratitude

I was waiting for my son after school yesterday and on the school grounds is this playground and the young kids love this playground I could see streams of kids just running towards the playground as their classes end there is so much enthusiasm there’s laughter and joy and they that led me to think why do us adults not rush to an activity after work I can recall few times I might be keen to see a movie that was being released or a basketball team is playing but never rush to an activity or place somehow as we age we we lose that exuberance and that excitability that is to the level where our feet can’t sit still sometimes I feel that that’s a pity that I don’t have that exuberance anymore but I ask the question with losing that childhood exuberance what do we get in return that do we get anything in return or is it just being replaced by boredom stress and things like that sometimes it feels that way that um we just grow into responsibilities and and demands and tasks do we get anything in return for losing our childhood exuberance when I think about that I think so I think there are some types of complex emotions that we gain that children don’t get that is worth the trade the there’s nostalgia there’s melancholy there’s gratitude gratitude gets richer as as I age there’s empathy and forgiveness and there’s hope there is so much more hope as I age and I understand the world better and and I understand how it works so there’s also um types of emotions that’s um not in English that have this concept of Xingfu that’s in Chinese that’s sort of culturally a mixture of happiness and contentment and faith love um it’s also the Chinese concept for Wu which is about gaining knowledge true awareness so these are complex emotions and uh there’s also complex emotions that’s don’t even have labels in any language like um like what I’m doing now so I make three videos for this account everyday and sometimes I make them in rapid succession so one of the videos is what makes me smile the second one is about what I’m grateful for and the third one which is part of what I’m making now is about things that are challenging and difficult um to deal with so when I make and post these three videos in rapid succession I experience this complex emotions that is hard to label but it is um it is uplifting and and energizing and so also I do want to share that there are complex emotions that are painful but they’re still worth having the most prominent I have the most prominent of these painful emotions I have is one of grief for my father who passed away um in a few years ago so when my dad was hospitalized uh in Malaysia unexpectedly I was notified and I flew from Brisbane back to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia to see him when I was at the Singapore airport I received messages that he had dropped into a coma and so I couldn’t stop crying in the middle of the the transit lounge with with everybody watching and because I thought that I was going to miss him and I prayed that he would hang on for at least two hours the two hours that he would take for me to get to him I didn’t stop crying while he boarded the flight and I took the 45 minute flight from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and I didn’t stop crying when my brother picked me up from the airport and then drove me to the hospital he was still alive he was in a coma but regardless I told him about the latest family news from from Brisbane I sang him his favourite song and with the whole family surrounding him he slipped away and these days when I talk about that I I feel sad I sometimes I cry but but I feel sad as I celebrate him as I celebrate the person he was and celebrate the life that he led and I’m sad because what we because I still care because what we have is still meaningful to me so to be able to sit with pain and to be able to be sad and to cry while still being able to celebrate the meaning of the life that I had uh with someone that’s a complex emotion that is uh something that comes with age and so I hope you have your complex emotions that comes with age that maybe as time passes you won’t be exuberant as you were as a child I hope the stuff that fills your life do is valuable and worthwhile and deserving of you to cherish and I hope you look for those valuable parts to your life

Date: 2024-05-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7363971741779037447?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 208 – Toothpaste #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for toothpaste just clearing out some of my old ones in my bathroom look at the variety with that amount of variety out there there must be a lot of very clean teeth out there

Date: 2024-05-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7363925003986930952?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 308 – Paper Clips

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Date: 2024-04-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7363641050142969096?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 84 Eye care and mental health #journal #gratitude

I want to tell you about my vision impairment and my eye care needs like most of the world population I have a vision impairment I have myopia I’ve been wearing these glasses since I was 5 years old and I have no memories of myself without my glasses and without my vision problems because of this impairment I get an annual check up I have a well qualified optometrist he gives me like prescription and I find the best pair of glasses that suits me and have a routine of wearing them and cleaning them and repairing them when necessary when I put these glasses on I’m no different to anyone else when I tell most people this they’re comfortable but if you happen to be the one one of those who are still uncomfortable and feel there is still something wrong if I apply for job with you and me having my glasses is not good enough for you if I’m sitting beside you at a dinner table and you get up and go sit somewhere else because I talk about my cataract if we’re having lunch and you get up and leave because I talk about my eye test if you feel that maybe you have some work to do to understand vision and optometry I also want to tell you about my psychological and mental health needs like most of the world population I have mental health conditions I’ve been living with these conditions since very young I don’t have memories of myself without my struggles and because of my conditions I have an annual check up I have a very well qualified psychologist he gives me the right treatment I find the best solutions that suits me and I have a routine of keeping myself healthy I have steps to refine my routines and I change those routines when necessary when I’m treated I’m no different to anyone else just like when I put my glasses on I’m no different to anyone else when I tell people that unfortunately most people are not comfortable with that if you happen to be one of those who are uncomfortable and you still feel something is wrong if I’m applying for a job with you and me having treatment is not good enough for you if I’m sitting beside you at dinner table and you go and sit somewhere else because I talk about mood and anxiety and depression if we’re having lunch and you go up you get up and leave because I talk about my stay at a psychiatric hospital if you feel that maybe you have some work to do to understand mental health

Date: 2024-04-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7363596671135091975?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 307 – home made cupcakes

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Date: 2024-04-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7363516002849574152?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 207 – Making puzzles #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for making puzzles here’s a puzzle I’m making for my boy can you guess these words how many did you get look for the answers in the comments I’ll put it there the good thing about making puzzles is that it trains our sense of perspective it forces us to think from the perspective of the person doing the puzzle as to what is appropriate to ask it also trains us as to how to present what we present the puzzle and also what instructions to give to make things clear that’s why I like making puzzles

Date: 2024-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7363269593172905223?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 83 Annoyance #journal #gratitude

today two things happened that evoke the same reaction from me that of annoyance one was a conversation with a passerby on the street and another was an email so first someone passing by a street in the city asked me for directions and I explained but he asked again and then asked the third time by the third time I was annoyed the second event was an email of someone telling me about a schedule event next week it was done in what I felt was a very condescending way so I was annoyed with that too and it felt like the same annoyance as the first one so annoyance is not a nice feeling and when I feel it I don’t wish to keep it so once it passes I’m not inclined to dwell on it and I would rather just uh just move on from it but for the sake of reflection and to learn something is worth reviewing and the so the question is why was I annoyed well the first situation is that I had to repeat my instructions three times and so but so what I wasn’t in the hurry and um he wasn’t rude um was it because he was wasting his own time but why do I care how many times I have to explain it to him and I realise it’s because I thought my message got through the first time because I believe myself a decent communicator and he was English speaking so there shouldn’t be a language problem so when he didn’t understand that first time I was hit on there was a hit on my own self perception and when he had asked the second time it definitely was a big hit so as he walked away confused I felt you know a lesser person a lesser communicator and and that brings me then to this second event of this person explaining next week’s schedule events to me in an email why do I care he’s explaining it to me um and it was because I know what the schedule is and I thought that the person who wrote that email knew that I know I thought it was obvious that I’m competent enough to know what the schedule is and it was a reflection on my competence just like the first episode on the street was a reflection on my competence and and that’s why they felt similar so annoyance is a funny emotion and it’s not nice and when I but when I look behind it the a lot of times is tied to some clash of my expectations and and that expectation comes from something I care about so today I care about my communication I care about my competency or more accurately I care that people can trust my competency so I’m I’m grateful that I have this pride um of that I want people to be able to trust that so um the sort of annoyance was something useful for me to get closer to understanding myself and to improve myself

Date: 2024-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7363174953878965511?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 206 – Home welcome signs #journal #gratitude

Today, I’m grateful for door welcome signs. I have two. First one is this, that tells me that it’s home sweet home when I arrive. And the second one, a condition for entering my house, is I have to love the life I live.

Date: 2024-04-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7363174464336465159?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 306 – Wallabies

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Date: 2024-04-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362903592765803783?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 82 Lady in the library #journal #gratitude #mistakes

I was at the Brisbane Square Library today I like libraries especially the comic book and graphic novel section and when I have free time I like to go to library find a cosy corner and a good book and um and read so that’s what I did today so here I am putting my feet up and reading my comic book across from me was this lady just out of shot here from the top corner of this photo I didn’t notice her at first when I sat down and started reading but she called out to me and asked if I could watch over her phone I looked up and I could see from the way she dressed and her bag of clothes that she was a rough sleeper there’s a homeless community in the city centre just like any other city and the library is a sanctuary for rest when there’s nowhere else to go again just like any other city one thing I always hear is that whoever wants to understand the homeless situation in a city they should always talk to the librarians in the city’s local public libraries anyway the lady across from me called out to me and she asked if I could watch over her phone I could see that she was charging it on the wall socket again that’s something useful that can be done in a public library so she told me that it will just be for a moment um as she wants to go to the toilet and I hesitated and I said I was only there for a moment which of course wasn’t true because my feet was up and I just opened my book um she didn’t make a big deal of that and she only said that she’ll be quick and I couldn’t say anything else so I just nodded uh she put her bag next to her phone and she went so while she was gone I thoughts started going through my head and I got worried that because no one was witnessing what was happening that she might come back and accuse me of um taking something from her bag or there could be something illegal in the bag and she doesn’t come back and I get lumped with whatever’s illegal in the bag she could have mental health issues and uh come back and accuse me of something that um is unfounded so all these crazy thoughts unfounded thoughts started going through my mind as I went down this rabbit hole well she came back after a few minutes and she thanked me profusely then we went about our own business I wanted to share this episode with you because I wanted to share the comparison I wanted to share my situation where I have a lot in my life I have a home I have money I have investments I have a business I have employees and all these things and I was worried about this lady on the street who may take something away from me whatever it is that my mind went to and I compare that to this lady who had a phone and a bag and probably that’s everything in her possession but one thing she has that I didn’t have is that she has trust in a fellow human being she trusted this stranger who will not make off with everything she owns as she goes to the toilet and I was thinking in this situation which one of us is rich and which one of us is poor

Date: 2024-04-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7362814411209313543?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 305 – Libraries and comic books

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Date: 2024-04-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362783725219859720?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 205 – Street Art #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for street art here’s that one at Brisbane Square is made out of 7,000 recycled aluminium veggie steamers this the display spread all over the square so apparently the artists roll miniature balls on the miniature model of the Square and wherever the ball landed is where they built the spheres so each one is over 200 kg in weight I’m grateful such artistic expressions exists and spurs us to think what is art what is art to you

Date: 2024-04-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362581054890282248?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 81 Mistakes in computer games #journal #gratitude#mistakes

I was playing with a game of Minecraft earlier today one of the perks of owning a education company is that I have access to a variety of educational computer game licenses on the surface these computer games are excellent at teaching us to be uh bold in taking risks in handling failures and rejections and encouraging us to come up with alternatives and to try again and in many ways they succeed in doing this which is one of reasons we we use them however what they don’t do well is to teach us how to handle the consequences the weight of those consequences and the emotional resilience that is required to cope with uh irreversible consequences unlike in games uh some real life mistakes cannot be undone in Minecraft if I die I respawn if I mess up a game world I can start over with a new one contrast that with real life if I’m fired from a job I can’t simply just show up on Monday and act if nothing’s happened if I fail a course in my studies it goes on my record if I damage a relationship they will be lasting scars in both teaching and in parenting I often emphasize the value of allowing students and children to learn from their mistakes and we use scenarios in computer games a lot these days to teach about facing consequences and managing failures because they offer a controlled environment in games for us to do this it is unfortunate though that in real life we often don’t offer the same opportunities to correct mistakes I know for myself my most common reaction to other people’s mistakes is is retaliation if I’m hurt I will hurt people back if I’m rejected I will reject others as humans we seldom find chances to forgive and to really move on why I have a journal like the one I’m creating now is that to have the chance to create more spaces in my daily life to do what I get to do in computer games to allow for learning and personal growth uh where I can process and view mistakes as uh chances to improve and not just failures to get revenge on and you know the person that I take the most revenge on is myself I find it hardest to forgive myself for mistakes that I make I find it hardest to not hurt myself because of my mistakes I find it hardest to not reject myself when I see my own flaws but maybe by reflection and some processing of emotions some practice of kindness um I can do so maybe I can develop the power to respawn and to reshape the imperfect world that I live in

Date: 2024-04-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362459012064955655?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 204 – Shopping trolley collection service #journal#gratitude

today I’m grateful for shopping trolley collection service here’s a shopping trolley that just appeared out of nowhere somebody just left it imagine if there’s no collection service just what a terrible mess the whole shopping centre would be

Date: 2024-04-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7362385935247428872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 304 – Cooking

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Date: 2024-04-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362203426844904712?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 80 Letting go

tonight I will share with you my challenging hour this last hour of the day I’ve uh I had a difficult um private phone conversation earlier today and um about someone leaving and I won’t share with you that private conversation and that’s not the point of the video but my mind drifted onto it in the last hour and um that made me feel down so I went online to look for some entertainment to distract me I didn’t find much because my news feed and my feed in general is quite noisy at the moment because of lot of news from the Middle East one interesting thing that did pop up was this um Arthur Aron’s 36 questions that I printed out and what this was uh 10 years ago was promoted by the New York Times as questions that make strangers fall in love but really what the original study that this came out of was that they were questions for people to ask each other and to listen to each other so that um people can be closer to each other so I’ve read this before but um today it was a good reminder as I reread the questions because it distracted me from the doldrums from earlier in the day one question that jumped out at me is today was um this question 34 where it says your house containing everything you own catches fire after saving your loved ones and pets you have time to safely make one final dash save any one item what would it be and why so the um this is an intriguing question so I went around my house and I started looking at different things and um and look for that what is the one thing that I would save and it let me down memory lane on a lot of things around the house so that was good um and the and the thing that I found that I really would make a final dash to save is um is this so I don’t know if you can read it so this is a sign that the kids and I made uh for the house that we used to live in um before this one and um the house the sign says welcome to the Imaginarium so we used to call our house the Imaginarium so that house um the land was much larger than um than what we have now but the house is much smaller in terms of luxury it doesn’t have anywhere near the type of luxuries we have but what we had was that um uh the that uh we did a lot of the renovations uh with uh with that house I I did most of the reservations but the kids took part in a lot of it and um and it was done with them all the way from the planning stage to uh to when we done did um did most of the renovation work so some sections of the house the kids put in the planks and they dumped the trenches the um this sign was made when the house was the virtual construction site so we put a lot of our hearts and soul into that that house then came a time when I had to sell that house um made me for because of financial pressures and for the kids I made this new house as attractive as possible and I think that has worked the kids seem to love moving here kids move on very quickly but I found it hard to let go and the back to the sign the kids and I carried the sign as we drove away from that house for the last time and I remember I had tears in my eyes as I looked into the rearview mirror and I saw the kids holding on to the sign um as we drove away for that last time so some things we hold on to from the past because we can’t let go of the past but this sign I hold on to because I cherish the place this sign has and also the previous house has in my past but um but I’m glad to have moved on and to the life that that we have now so this so this sign is about holding on to memories but letting go of the past so all that um reminiscing made me feel a lot better uh having walked down that memory lane it made me forget about the doldrums from early on in the afternoon and um that’s another form of letting go uh thanks for letting me share that story with you and I hope that it brought something to you as well so have a good night

Date: 2024-04-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7362124366177389842?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 203 – Eggs #journal #gratitude

tonight I’m grateful for eggs sunny side up of course

Date: 2024-04-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7362105150426696967?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 303 – Winnie the Pooh

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Date: 2024-04-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7361733293915622664?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 79 Uninvited friends.

tonight I’ll share a short reflection about my friend Cindy who came over and invited again today just for a chat sorry I had to cut it short today because of family things Cindy but I want to share with you about having friends like my friend Cindy who are comfortable enough to invite themselves over I’ve had episodes of depression in the past and one thing about going through depression is that it’s a lot of effort to entertain people close to you who feel they need to do something but they don’t know what something is so the common mistake that they would make is they become a burden on you when you’re depressed because they try to talk to you they try to ask you to describe how you’re feeling or they ask you to try something they suggest like go out for a walk or to see a movie or to go for a drink or something that makes sense to them but to you you just wanna bury yourself in bed and there is enough energy to entertain someone who’s trying to help you so what usually is precious and golden to me during those times is someone who’s comfortable enough being themselves and confident enough to invite themselves over but not intrude when they’re here they just sit around and doing their own thing and by doing so it gives me a chance to talk when I want to or to cook with them if they happen to be cooking or to go over and watch t V with them if they happen to be watching t V then I don’t have to manage them and I can be comfortable trying to manage myself because that’s the struggle and I can do that without being alone anyway all that was a long time ago but thanks still Cindy

Date: 2024-04-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7361723505026649351?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 304 – Anzac day

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Date: 2024-04-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7361708103655542034?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 202 – Community Playgrounds #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for community playgrounds where families friends and communities can come together to laugh and to play

Date: 2024-04-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7361413261587221778?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Reflection Day 78 About Intellect.

hi I was listening to some podcast and talks earlier this evening by scientists and philosophers Sam Harris Daniel Dennett among others they were talking about some really deep stuff about morals and um values and purpose of philosophers as a former academic myself who started my career as a researcher and scholar I sometimes envy the life they have being able to live the life of an intellectual to be able to dive deeply into thought and uh be able to share the depth of knowledge and and be respected for when I feel like that though uh a lot of times my mind drifts back to person by name of uh Peter that I used to know when I was managing an aged care facility now Peter was a care worker and Peter you would never mistake him for being an intellectual we tried to get him to do some administration and management but he was a mess with budgets and quality control and marketing you know all the stuff that you need to do for management so we just had to let him be the care worker he uh he wants to be but he was good at that what Peter can do is to be able to light up the face of an elderly resident at our facility he could walk with them and have their trust and keep them relaxed and comfortable and happy and one thing I respect most about Peter was that when he’s placed under intense pressure from schedules and workload and administrative demands and that pressure usually makes people cut corners up to get jobs completed he still invariably does what is best for the elderly person and when I first started out knowing Peter I thought he’s just lucky and then he can’t keep up side stepping all these intense processes and demands and get away with it but over the years what I learnt is that he’s intelligent in ways that I didn’t understand he is intelligent about compassion about kindness about trust about connection I can imagine the smartest Nobel Prize winning scientist in the world being trained for a lifetime to do what Peter does and still won’t be able to do it Peter is intelligent in ways that I did not understand and as I see more and more people like Peter I’ve come to see intelligence in so many places where I see things like courage and persistence and the intelligence in human values that that is everywhere I come to see intelligence in nurses I worked with with teachers in loving parents in laughing children in policemen and janitors in construction workers and the lady who holds the stop sign outside my kids school I sort of have become this Salieri to all the genius Mozarts I see around me and I’m happy to be that second fiddle just to be able to observe and be grateful that I can see them sometimes when I’m recording podcast with students and I listen to them talk about their lives I say WOW if only they can hear how amazing they are if only they can I see it’s a blessing for me that I can get my fix of happiness just by watching people be their amazing selves and and I wish you can have that joy too maybe you can try to have a look around you and see the intelligence in people that you never saw before maybe you can look inside yourself and try and see how amazing you really are and perhaps in ways you’ve never seen before maybe I hope anyway share with me what you see

Date: 2024-04-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7361335219573607688?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 301 – Walks in nature

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Date: 2024-04-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7361335226234080520?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 201 – Leaves #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for leaves have you ever tried to look for leaves two leaves that are exactly the same I have when I was kid and you can’t find it it’s the amazing diversity there is even just on one tree of leaves isn’t that something to be grateful for

Date: 2024-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7361036868487531783?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 77 Car repair bill #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s life challenge to share with you is the continuing story of my car it broke down a couple of weeks ago and is still sitting with the service centre for repairs and I’ll show you today the quote for the repairs that I got this afternoon that’s close to 7,000 bucks to repair it my car is a 2015 Subaru Outback Premium and the car at that age would be around 15,000 16,000 in value so that’s close to half the value of the car just for me to get it back on the road obviously this is a big impact the issue of the car has already created a lot of disruptions in in my life and this raises the bar so much more so much higher the cost of course and the cost of course will change my family budget and because the parts need a couple of weeks to come and with the work involved I’m looking at another month before I even get my car back so that’s my situation and the question I have as I make this video is what is useful to share the first thing I think is useful to share is that about five hours ago when I first saw this quote I’m not the coherent talking person you see before you one point I always want to make in my videos is that I only make these videos when I have reflected on issues and considered what is useful to share and thought about it but everyday is up and down for me and just like everyone else and like everyone else I find it useful not to deny my emotions this afternoon I had to share the upheaval the emotional upheaval and the stress privately with people I do find helps me emotionally also just to have some friends to talk about the practical things when they know me well enough not to let me go down the spiral in terms of my emotions friends and family like that helps a lot so having a chance to calm down I want to share that I’m really grateful for other things in my life that allows me some perspective over what is happening I always say that problems are usually solve before they occur by having a balanced life and maintaining a balanced life to enable the problems not to overwhelm me I’m in middle of an example of that now I think the perspective I have after calming down is that does this problem change the two things that is significant for me does it change my children’s safety and welfare no it doesn’t does it change my home and my capacity to have a home and how comfortable my home is and no it doesn’t so then everything else is just are just transactions if I handle those things properly in a couple of years time this will just be a memory or just something I put on videos years ago so my next step with the car is to I’ll get a second opinion just to ensure that I had the repaired I was quoted is is right I need to extend my car hire and also I’m considering trading in my car and let the repairs be the dealer’s problem they can handle it much cheaper and less hassle than I can so I might get a deal by trading it but overall I have options to move forward with I want to thank you for sharing in this ordeal or this adventure as I call it it does make a difference having a positive online community where I actively think what is it about my life I want to share with you and permanently put on record on video and when I think about that I think more positively and I act more positively so there’s still a lot to come in this story I thank you for sharing in that story

Date: 2024-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360977706244164872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 200 – YOU 🫵!!! #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for YOU all of you who share in my gratitude this is day 200 of my gratitude journal and day 300 of my posts sharing a smile a day I came to social media to find people who believes in positivity and you are those people the feedback I’ve received has been overwhelmingly uplifting whatever work I do and contributions I make in my work you have a share of because of your encouragement just remember that whatever sense of positivity resonates with you from my videos it can only resonate because the positivity exists in you I hope you too are as grateful as I am that you exist thank you

Date: 2024-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360970946670349575?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 300 –Dumplings for lunch

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Date: 2024-04-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7360681984860949778?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 299 – Evening with friends

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Date: 2024-04-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360563336414612743?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 199 – Indoor plants #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for indoor plants. Here’s one I got from IKEA more than two years ago. As you can see, it’s thriving. They give oxygen to the room and, um, they lift the spirit within the room. I’m amazed that the kind of, um, engineering they do these days to breed them, that this plant has never needed to go outside and, um, and is sneeze, minimal watering. But in spite of that, this thrived. I’m grateful for those.

Date: 2024-04-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360559975535561991?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 76 Dramatised language #journal #mistakes#gratitude

this morning I came across this quote on my LinkedIn feed it says micro management is the biggest red flag for a person with no leadership skills so it looks pretty standard there are a lot of micro management quotes like this going around but I want draw your attention to the world’s biggest and no biggest red flag no leadership skills these are language intensifiers and negations they’re meant to emphasize a point with dramatic effect and it serves to motivate and inspire action and I’ll give you examples of more dramatise words that convey similar messages STOP letting yourself be micromanaged by people with NO leadership skills or micro managers are the WORST leaders so the words in that are used like STOP or WORST these are dramatise and hyperbolic language that are a feature of languages they exist in all languages as far as I’m aware and as as I understand it linguist know about them and they study them even in this video if you analyse the words linguistically you see that their words are used that that are dramatised we can’t get away from them unless we want to reduce all statements to a single tone and there’s no emotions so I’m pointing this out to reflect certainly for myself to be aware of their impact and work out how to better conduct myself because of that impact because these dramatic languages is dramatised language has negative impact because of our psychology and because of how interconnected we are they inflame emotions beyond what we’re normally trained to manage and they lead to arguments when we do not have the skill to handle our own emotions or the emotions from another person nor do we have facilitators who know how to handle groups of people with escalated emotions so the question to me is is statement like this is is it real in my circles and my experience the reality around something like micro management is a lot more boring undramatic so let me try and reword the statement into something closer to what I normally observe so I can say some leaders micromanage sometimes and it leads to some problems or I can say when I’m micromanaged by leader I feel bad and so I feel I want to let the leader know so that’s closer a lot closer to the reality of what I normally observe but like I said all these alternative statements I just made they’re wishy washy and they’re boring they’re not effective to use on platforms like social media where this is big performance this attention growing component so I’m not railing against existence of motivational quotes what I’m saying is for myself anyway I want to be considered and moderate when I apply them in my own life and and when I’m having conversations I wanna be aware enough to drop these strong statements in favour of more realistic and more conciliatory kind and having more kindness to myself and to others I personally think that the world needs a lot more moderated and conciliatory language a lot more than we need dramatic language and things like kindness and hope and compassion the day to day kind to me they are usually boring and unsuitable for dramatic language that’s one of the message that’s one of the messages I want to bring in my work one of the big reasons I’m here on social media so much as a creator and a consumer is to learn how to do it and to work out how to do it well and also to be conscious of other spaces beside social media where this type of dramatised language happens in the boardroom happens a lot in boardrooms also happens in elections happen in government hearings that are televised happens in public debates so conversations in these spaces to me doesn’t seem to reflect reality anymore because of these dramatised language but I certainly can’t fix boardrooms or elections or public debates my main purpose is to focus on the smaller spaces for instance within my family and my children so what I would hope for is that my children would grow up recognising that for instance in a classroom that teachers do not use overdramatised language and so they may not feel that the teacher are as inspiring or as interesting as what they see on videos and movies but over time they build a much more engaged and and happy relationship with their teachers than with celebrities and and popstars I hope they get that with me as their father and their mother and their family at a dinner table that our boring language that we can’t match what they hear from big social media stars but over time these boring conversations lead them to have bonds that keep them happy anyway that’s what I hope like I said hope is boring

Date: 2024-04-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7360187889868721416?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 298 – Movies at the cinema

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Date: 2024-04-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360155165242035464?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 75 Coffee and cake table #journal #mistakes#gratitude

I’m just packing up after doing morning tea at my church hall today one thing about being a former computer scientist is that I am always thinking about automation and improving processes for instance in our coffee and cake table here I can think of many ways to avoid a queue building up around the table which happens a lot by using an ordering system or even using pen and paper where orders and fulfilling orders can to get the cake and coffee can be made a lot more efficient but of course that will be a mistake because it isn’t the purpose of the queue to get coffee and cake it is the purpose of the coffee and cake to build up a queue so people at Morning Tea can interact and can chat a lot of times we make the mistake of solving the wrong problems we also are not clear enough at to express our basic needs if more of us are clear that we build our lives through queues and we connect at queues we would have a lot more computer scientists and investors building up more rewarding and uplifting queues rather than the mistake of removing queues

Date: 2024-04-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7360152962049576200?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 198 – 10 million dollars #journal #gratitude

here’s something about gratitude that may be useful for days when we find it hard to think about what to be grateful for think about this if I come to you and I say I’ll give you $10 million unconditional and the money comes from ethical sources would you take it I think that’s a simple one most of us will take it but if I change the condition I say I’ll give you $10 million but you won’t wake up tomorrow morning will you take it I think that’s another simple most of us will not take that so what it that is saying to all of us is that we highly value the simple fact of waking up in the morning to the value of $10 million each day so isn’t waking up in the morning worth being grateful for isn’t everything that follows waking up in the morning worth being grateful for

Date: 2024-04-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359879785331395847?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 74 Siri reminder to call my mum #journal #mistakes#gratitude

here’s an interesting thing that just happened have a look at this it’s a message from Siri on my iPhone to call my mum because it’s her birthday I didn’t program it it obviously looked at my contact and decided to remind me I’ll do that in a moment but this is a good opportunity to talk about our reliance on technology like reminders and calendars and phones and electronics I rely on them a lot and I’m happy to use whatever is available to make life more convenient but one thing I sometimes do that I’m doing right now is to imagine what if none of these are available if electronics is not available and even electricity is not available what would life be like I do this because it is a temptation always to make the mistake of losing perspective over what’s important when I was younger I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be without all of these tools that are available so when they become unavailable suddenly as because something broke down or someone damaged something or I myself broke it it’s very stressful so what I mean when I say to imagine what if all these thing all these technology wasn’t available even electricity is that I imagine a life built without them what would that look like and I come to this image in my head of of being with my kids and being in a home of some kind even just cave so what is useful for perspective is that it tells me that there’s only two things that I really value in life and that is my kids being safe and well and we have a home of some kind so years ago when I came to this image I a lot of things changed for me I don’t make the mistake of going into the deep end with stress over catastrophes because most things that happen don’t threaten my kids and they don’t stop me from having a home so I don’t know if this is a sign of my insanity I’m pretty certain if global electricity supply ends tomorrow and our civilization descends into chaos I’ll know what to do because I’ve actually thought about it so first thing to do is to find a cave of some kind anyway that’s a science fiction story for another time what about you you have a scenario you imagine if all technology broke down what’s important for you also to the few of you who made it this far in the video you obviously the ones who follow the mistake journal and the ones I’m actually talking to in making these videos i like to get your feedback on some changes this is day 74 of the journal and I’m pretty certain I have this mistake reviewing process embedded in my habit I still like to continue to make these videos but I’m finding talking about mistakes to not be the most interesting who can define what is mistake versus a non mistake anyway what I find useful is talking about what I call imperfections in daily events and finding joy when things don’t go as I expected I’d like to hear from you what you find of value in these ramblings I have and let me know in the comments also what format I’m thinking of moving off to a podcast longer form or stay on TikTok but do longer videos let me know

Date: 2024-04-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7359830750784408839?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 297 – Domino Blocks

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Date: 2024-04-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359802730019310855?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 197 – Clothes airers #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for Clothes Heiress. Anyone who’s been caught doing laundry on a rainy day and needing to dry clothes indoors would know what I mean. But even outdoors here, the close areas give so much more flexibility to timing and location. So thanks to whoever invented it. Oh, and talking about inventions, if there any inventors listening out there, if you can invent a clothes hanger that where the hook sort of goes 90 degree Tangent to the hanger so I can hang my clothes in line with the error instead of it going diagonal like this makes moving the whole error with the clothes on just so much simpler. It’s not a big deal, but if any inventors listening?

Date: 2024-04-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359603848303922450?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 73 Solving unsolvable differences #journal#mistakes #gratitude

I like to review the mistake of trying to resolve every difference I have with the people I know. You know, the ones where trying to resolve those differences is like hitting your head against a brick wall. You try and try, but the problems still exist and seems to get worse the more that you try. I have a lot of that. I don’t have a specific incident to review. Uh, no would I review private details on public social media even if I do. But I just want to say that unsolvable differences exist for almost every person that I’m close to because when I spend enough time with someone, almost certainly there will be something that emerges as a difference between us. That’s why we are individuals. We are not the same person. It is part of the value of having that relationship that differences exist. The question is how to let that difference sit. One of the big challenges we have with our amazing sophisticated problem solving brain is that we tend to try to problem solve every difference. We can solve some really quite complex problems with our thinking, but we can’t smooth out every possible difference. For me, classifying a difference as being perpetually unsolvable is important because then I can move on to let it sit, hopefully respectfully inside of myself without needing to solve it. Not every problem must be solved. Some problem are not yet ready to be solved because I still have work to do on myself or the other person still have work to do on themselves or we view the differences differently though we have different sense of priority as to whether the difference need to be addressed. The traction with um this these differences is to walk away. For some it is worthwhile to walk away and necessary to walk away but if I walk away from every person where unsolvable differences exist, I will be walking away from everybody. I think I made that mistake in the past. I think the most obvious one is that even in past I tried to walk away from my own parents believing that they are holding me back or they don’t understand what I’m about. I’m grateful I grew out of that even though it took me decades to do that and that then makes me think about my own children uh, about the differences I will have with them. They’re very young and right now hardly any difference exists. They learn most of their ways from me and I adjusted my ways to accommodate them but they will grow to be their own person quite different from me. One of the reasons I am reviewing now how I handle differences is to prepare my way of handling things. Can I accommodate my own children growing up to be different from me? A world is not really good at handling differences or letting differences sit or better yet Let the differences be a source of learning, uh, for it over time to be a source of gratitude for the amazing variety that, that we have in this world because we are different from each other. So I hope I get better at handling differences.

Date: 2024-04-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7359512645826907400?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 296 – Rice

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Date: 2024-04-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359511823290223880?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 196 – Grain of rice on chopsticks #journal #gratitude

tonight I’m grateful I can pick up a grain of rice with my chopstick I’m not exactly sure what use this skill actually is except perhaps if I’m get if I get caught in a game of eating rice very slowly but I’m grateful I can do it because I can still remember the times when my mum and dad taught me how to use a chopstick when I was very little

Date: 2024-04-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359230573786795282?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 72 Car oil leak #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Tonight, I think there’s a cosmic conspiracy to turn this account from one about journaling to one about my car problems. Small car dramas to share with you tonight. Last week, my car broke down and I shared a few times with you about the saga of getting my car fixed and hiring a temporary car. This morning, when backing out from my garage with my higher car, I saw this, an oil leak. Today was another day lost to getting the high car on Uber car share back to the owner, getting it checked out, then deciding to return it, find another one and find my way to the next car location and dealing with another imperfect car. I sit here tonight and I wonder if there is a point to sharing of these car problems with you. My conclusion is that there is an important message in all of this. Transport is an important aspect of a modern life. Having a car is a milestone in a young person’s life and losing driving capacity at old age is a key transition. So problems with cars brings with it a lot of pressure in modern life. With those pressures are mistakes. And mistakes is what my Mistake Journal is about. I’ve had countless car troubles and episodes since I started driving over 30 years ago. And over those years, I’ve approached car problems as a disruption because it’s a loss of transport when I see and deal with it. Like that it’s very stressful these days I realise it’s a mistake to focus on the car and the transport these days. Instead I focus on the relationships because car problems because of thinking about them in terms of relationships, the car problems are a lot easier to deal with and definitely a lot less stressful to deal with. When I discovered this oily this morning, the options available within Uber Car Share was various ways to record a complaint. Why isn’t there support to contact the owner, the car owner and have it resolved directly. I messaged the car owner directly. He was kind enough to take ownership of the problem. We met, he took the car and had it checked out by a mechanic and we decided together that I needed the car problem sorted out quickly so to cancel the car hire so that I can get another car. I still left him top rating uh for the car because having oil leak is common for a car. My problem isn’t having an oil leak is when the owner doesn’t take responsibility for it and help you fix it. So even though I cancelled the hire he was very kind later in the evening once he checked it out to send me a message to tell me that it was because of um the old filter tube not being tightened properly and it’s been fixed so it’s nice um to get that communication. I went on then To hire another car and the first this first owner I’m talking about got me to the spot to pick up the next car and it was with a lady who had the car at her business and she also was very nice and help me get on the road again so I had the whole thing sorted out from when uh from uh mid morning to having it all sorted out by my kids school pickup at three PM so I’m glad to have formed these relationships with these people um I have a short or brief uh it may have been my um and my neighbours offered to lend me a car when they knew I had problems and I and I almost had to take that up but I approached my neighbours kind offer to help me with uh my trouble in the sense that it then becomes incumbent upon me to try and solve my own problems and only put them out if I am in actual trouble and not pass my trouble onto them as a matter of convenience they would have had to experience a lot of disruption themselves if I took one of their cars so the fact that I had them as backup option was so greatly reduce my stress and I really appreciate that so my main message in sharing this whole car saga is to focus on relationships the lessons from my many mistakes in the past is not focusing On the relationships, life has taught me again and again that if I take care of people, people will take care of me in ways that I will not anticipate, but at times when I need them. So there likely gonna be going to be more incidents to come with my car saga because my car repair is still not resolved yet. I wanna thank you for sharing this with me and um, because this is a form of relationship building too. I hope my ramblings have been useful for you. I’ll see you in my next video. Let’s see how many of those future videos are about car problems.

Date: 2024-04-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7359092321243237640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 195 – Journals #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for journals there’s a whole table of journals on sale fortunately I can’t get all of them but journals allow me to put things down on paper so that by having it in front of me I can work out what’s happening inside of me

Date: 2024-04-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7359069112422780167?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 295 – Book sale

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Date: 2024-04-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358787226261622023?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 194 – Vibrant city at night #journal #gratitude

I’m grateful for the hustle and bustle and the vibrant energy of the city at night

Date: 2024-04-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7358786346967911688?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 294 – city at night

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Date: 2024-04-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358783744385338632?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 71 Synthesising happiness #journal #mistakes#gratitude

it’s the end of the work day and I’m just reviewing what happened at some of the meetings I had today and overall I have a lot less from the meetings than I had hoped from the negotiations that I was holding and so I’m feeling a bit down and I think it will be a mistake for me to leave for the day feeling down this is concept of organic versus synthetic happiness you can look it up what it refers to is the happiness that comes from getting what you want which is called organic happiness and then there is the happiness that comes from not getting what you want which is called synthetic happiness so in this case how can I apply synthetic happiness to the meetings how do I synthesise happiness out of what appears in terms of outcomes to have been um to me a waste of time so I think that people showing up just to negotiate is a good sign they didn’t have to they could have just cancelled or worse off just not show up and not tell me they were passionate about uh what they were talking about which means that they cared about the work that we were doing together we agreed to discuss further so that’s a good sign and I had a few changes to the way that I thought about the issues we were discussing based on what they said and that means I learnt something so that’s another good sign so all these lead to possibilities when we meet again and and now it’s up to me if i want to deal with it positively and feel good about it to do some preparation to that gives us the potential to move towards a more common ground and maybe I can follow up on some of the points they made and actually understand that better so I feel better after doing this review and and I certainly have a lot more energy to move forward um rethinking my perspective on them so I thank you for sharing that with me it’s time to go home

Date: 2024-04-17
URL:https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358427086756777224?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 70 Speaking up #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today I’ll talk about one of those ambiguous situations where I can’t work out whether I made a mistake did I do the right thing or not it’s a continuation of the saga with my car those of you who have been following my videos would know my car broke down last week I finally brought it to be checked out today so at this service station after dropping off the keys all customers wait in this lounge for the court… courtesy shuttle van so at this lounge is this TV and the staff have left it on for customers entertainment this morning though what was on TV wasn’t entertaining or nice I won’t bore you with the show details but I could see everybody was cowering deeper and deeper into their phones and tablets and laptops and trying to ignore the TV however no one said or or did anything and there was no staff around so my own reaction was just to keep quiet and go on with my own stuff on my phone as well why this is interesting for me to share is that this situation is happening a lot in our society it reminds me of social media what I mean is that here is something being shown that made a few people uncomfortable but this space doesn’t belong to the people that are that are there so they don’t feel like they can say or do anything they don’t wanna stir up any trouble so everybody just keeps quiet so even in my mind I was thinking should I go and ask the staff to switch off the TV what if the staff tells me off what if the staff tries to switch it off and another customer complains what if the other customer has an argument with me so it’s very common now that we just keep quiet and suppress our needs because we just don’t know what to do with our wishes in these confusing not public not private communal spaces where the responsible person just isn’t right so that’s what I mean when I say it reminds me of social media our society hasn’t worked out how to disagree in constructive ways unfortunately anyway once I came to this realisation and I thought why am I keeping quiet I just decided I’ll just not cower in my corner I’ll just act courteously but still act to do what I believe is is good for me be prepared some people may disagree or even argue but not to suppress doing things out of fear so I got to the TV I turned around and said anyone mind if I switch this off I didn’t explain or go to any story about it most people just kept their heads down so I switched the TV off well the principle I’m going on is this is a common space where everybody’s equal if you don’t speak up then you won’t have your needs met a bit later on a staff came by and saw that TV was off and asked oh what happened to the TV everybody kept their heads down still so I just said I switch it off and I didn’t explain he then put his head down and went on his business looking confused as to what to do with what I just said anyway I at least had peace for the rest of my weight in that lounge I’m still not sure if I did the right thing so what do you think what would you have done

Date: 2024-04-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358348676273687816?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 193 – Cold Rock Ice Cream #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for cold rock ice cream, especially the colourful one.

Date: 2024-04-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7358347872108104967?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 293 – sketching emojis

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Date: 2024-04-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358037552424570119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 69 Intelligent failures #journal #mistakes#gratitude

I’d like to share with you the excitement that I have for the mistakes that I make today one of the previous videos I made in this mistake journal is that I have plans and I have these posters that I put to remind myself about how to make mistakes and one of those factors is having a preview for today knowing what is upcoming and and understanding what potential risk that I might take and mistakes that might arise from that so today I have I’m going to put together an action plan for engage learning as part of my education project I will be challenging myself I will be uh putting together a lot of resources that I’ve collected in the past I’ll be finding new resources I’ll be communicating with quite a few people including my team to put that action plan together so by challenging myself then I’m taking risk and mistakes will happen and it’s the level of mistakes that happen the way I process them and the way that I learn from them and move forward that will be an indication of how whether I’m improving and whether things are moving forward so I look forward to today and I’ll let you know what happens hi I just arrived home and I want to tie in with the video I made this morning at this my corridor here uh about the work that I was challenging myself today and the mistakes that I potentially would make up for today I didn’t end up completing the action plan tool that I set out to complete and it was revised quite a few times throughout the day before I decided that it was the tool is premature and I changed the goal to a small set of documents so with what is a failure comes the disappointment and I feel also some regret for all the time that we spent going down some dead ends and for not choosing a more efficient path the same time that I know that that is the nature of challenges and mistakes I feel the reward that I have tried and I have failed and I’ve learnt so I looked up a video I recall seeing in the past it was on YouTube by Amy Edmonson of Harvard Business School the video is called it doesn’t matter if you fail it matters how you fail so go look it up it’s worth a watch in there she calls failures that is the result of planned experimentation she calls those intelligent failures and that’s the type of failure we should have well today I had a an intelligent failure and I’m glad that I did and I’m glad that I am able to share that with you

Date: 2024-04-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358020691125456136?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 292 – Stress Balls

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Date: 2024-04-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7358016275261492487?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 192 – Toilet paper origami #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for origami I will show you this toilet paper origami I was shown once give me a moment how can you not be grateful in a world that has this

Date: 2024-04-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7357625667162279176?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 68 Mistake of choices #journal #mistakes#gratitude

This morning I had breakfast in the city and avocado on toast and it was nice. I came out from the cafe. Two guys beside the road was just packing up their stuff after sleeping rough on the streets for the night. And tonight they’ll probably sleep there again or somewhere else equivalent close by. Why that is relevant in a Mistake journal is because a lot of times when I review my mistakes, especially the ones I repeatedly make, and I think about why it keeps repeating and think about how hard it is to change so that the mistake stop. Is it really that hard? Is it harder than trying to figure out what to do waking up on the streets? Sometimes I forget that the hard things in my life are just choices many people would love to have.

Date: 2024-04-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7357625667162279176?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 191 – Sunday evenings #journal #gratitude

I’m grateful for Sunday evenings. To me, the week ends on a Sunday. So this week has been a turbulent one. But regardless of the UPS and downs, Sunday evenings is a time for me to review and process everything that has happened, put aside whatever doesn’t need to carry over and be set and start Monday with the same energy.

Date: 2024-04-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7357613058807696648?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 291 – Brisbane Cycling Festival, Tour de Brisbane

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Date: 2024-04-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356979771051478280?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 66 Overthinking #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Tonight I’ll review with you a mistake with overthinking I have a podcast in the final stages of finishing and releasing it’s about student life around the world I I think it’s pretty good um if you follow my bio and go to my website you’ll see the description so it’s taken over 6 months to record and produce this by my team and it should be out within a week or two so this afternoon I spent a lot of time way too much time reviewing all the elements of it um has become to the final decision and final stages because we haven’t clicked the release button yet so there are many things that we can still decide to change so with Creative Works the options always there to um to make changes and and the the options are endless so we can change the name we can change the description we can change the graphics we can re edit we can change the music you know always at the last moment every decisions come to the fore and um and then I begin to doubt so today I made that mistake that ah that I had made many times in the past so spending too much time thinking about it. So how do I know is a mistake is because the emotions that surrounds it if it is an uplifting emotion you know being excited about a chance to make things better then then I would think That that’s worthwhile but emotions this afternoon is fear is fear that once it is released so I don’t get to take it back fears and fear is a is rarely a good indicator of something positive. Also the under the overthinking under my trust in the work that has already gone before and trust in decisions I myself have made. So I’m going to avoid thinking about this over the weekend. So on Monday morning I’ll do a quick review again and um, and make some final decisions but essentially we just move ahead and trust the process.

Date: 2024-04-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356891032572742920?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 189 – University campuses #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for university campuses I’m at the main courtyard in the St Lucia campus of the university of Queensland around the world locations like this are still the best spaces for thinking reflection and for learning and you can hear the birds they think so too

Date: 2024-04-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7356889875380964616?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 289 – University campus
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Date: 2024-04-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356498937131306247?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 65 Catastrophising #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Today I like to talk about the mistake of catastrophizing. I had a terrible day yesterday in terms of unexpected things happening on a busy day and I started off with um, my car breaking down so of yesterday’s stuff then had to be rescheduled. Then logically today should be worse because of all the things that was powered on from yesterday but that’s not the case. Having bitten the bullet yesterday and cancel quite a few tasks and talk to many people and work with them to adjust my commitments, today just feels like a normal day actually feels better than a normal day. So I had a calm morning. I did my morning walk. I am now finished early for the day and I’m going to my evening routine. So that’s a radically different picture to the one I had when I was catastrophizing and worrying about what might happen, you know, as things went wrong yesterday. So sometimes when we accept and give ourselves permission to change and we look at others genuinely and in good faith that make those changes, the world adjusts and life moves on. So maybe I shouldn’t be worried about a lot of things about future things that’s that I currently worry about. And I I wonder if I can get away with telling people that I’m dropping everything and going on the world cruise. Hmm, just joking. I’ll be more stiff. I’m not a world cruise type of person.

Date: 2024-04-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356490708729072914?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 188 – Sounds. #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for sounds living next to the forest. It’s always nice to hear the sounds from the forest, but also I’m still in relatively urban area and I can still hear the distance to sound of the city. I wonder what sounds this phone that I’m carrying will capture. What can you hear? Tell me in the comments what you heard.

Date: 2024-04-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7356490046280584456?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 288 – walks in the forest

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Date: 2024-04-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356194742172011794?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 187 – Tow trucks #journal #gratitude

this design’s actually been around for nearly four decades right okay because I usually see the like the big tow truck you just drive all the way up but it’s such an efficient way to do it let’s go

Date: 2024-04-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7356194739357601032?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 64 My car broke down… and the stories we tell

I have two stories to tell you today of two related episodes that happened to me so this is the first episode my car broke down this morning in middle of the busy city and I had on my schedule a support group to to lead followed by doctor’s appointment then followed by whole day of events a lot of events so when the car broke down all these things were floating in my head as to how things are going to work out how do I even get to where I need to be what will I do with the car who will fix the car is it insurance related and then I have to call my insurance company what do I do with the kids events over the next few days where am I gonna find a spare car so blah blah blah all these things were floating in my head and I made that first mistake this big one where while all these thoughts and emotions were running through me I called the roadside assistance and I got into a spat with the person on the other side because she was telling me that she can’t get somebody to me so the more I tried to tell her how big an emergency it was the worse it got so I just gave up so after whole morning of sorting it out and and changing many plans and and then I got into the afternoon and I managed to get the car towed home the there were no family or friends who had a spare car and even the rental companies can you believe it were all booked out for today so so I got onto Uber Carshare to find someone local who might have car to share and that’s when I made the second big mistake the the one well two of many so in the rush and worried about how much the repair cost for my car is going to be I got a car that look good and was low cost but when I got it I found that the air conditioner didn’t work properly so driving around in it for about 20 minutes and adjusting different air conditioner settings hoping they work I was sweating like a pig and I was left with a choice of either going through this elaborate complaint process through Uber Carshare and try to get the car changed or I’m stuck with no aircon for 2 weeks cause that’s how long it’s looking like to get car fixed so I’ve reached the end of today and I’ve two cars in my garage both needs attention and nothing got done today everything’s piled onto tomorrow and I hope I don’t get another day like this so now a second episode my car broke down this morning I was lucky enough that it happened in the middle of the city and I had many people in the city I know that could assist me I made a mistake initially of getting into an argument with roadside assistance and that was because I let my emotions run away with me and um once I took a deep breath and oxygen started going back into my brain I could think properly and just work out the priorities and just sort through things one step at a time people were so nice because I was upfront with them about what’s happening to me and all of them helped me to reschedule and to adjust plans and the tow truck driver was especially a gem so we had a yarn on the way home while he towed my car home and he told me a lot about how towing services work how towing equipment works and how roadside assistance work so I learnt a lot just just on that car ride and so the car is back in my garage now and I don’t think it has major issues I hope it’s just some faulty sensors well we’ll see regardless I called the car dealership service department I explained the situation to them and they were happy to fit me in for next week to check out the the car’s electronics I couldn’t find a car to borrow or to hire so I got into Uber Carshare I’ve never used Uber Carshare before and but it’s a good solution the way that is set up so I got a low cost one that is close by and I found that air conditioner didn’t work on in the car when I got it but so so I sweated it out for a bit until I realised silly me that is actually a cool nice day outside and I could just wind down the window so I was sweating not because it was hot but it’s because it’s stuffy so anyway it’s it’s good to know because it shows how long it’s been since I drove without aircon and how dependant I’ve been on air conditioner so it was good driving in fresh air today and it’s good to know that I’ve become too dependant I should wind down the window once in a while anyway the weather is forecasted to be mild in Brisbane for next couple of weeks so I should be fine with this this car besides that the car’s great It’s clean it’s It’s handles well and you know everything else is fine with it so it’s the end of today nothing much got done I made a lot of mistakes but I’m grateful no one got hurt no one got damaged nothing got damaged except possibly the car I don’t know what’s wrong with it but I feel blessed that to have the people that I shared this day with and in the people that I dealt with in the issues that I dealt with I’m glad about all the things I learnt especially about myself and how I handle things and how I can improve on handling things nothing got done I made a lot of mistakes but I feel I’m ahead this evening compared to when the morning started so both stories I’ve just told you are true so neither is more me or less me they’re just the same episode I am choosing to tell you both stories because I’m both the person I describe I am the bundle of stress and frustration and emotions in the first story and I’m also the grateful reflective and happy person in a second and it’s okay to be both so our lives are made up of stories we choose to tell to different people at different times and especially stories we choose to tell ourselves so I wanna thank you for sharing my stories and I hope you find them helpful

Date: 2024-04-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7355791282612047112?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 63 Taking on challenges #journal #mistakes#gratitude

Today I failed a lot and I made a lot more mistakes than I allowed myself to make for a long time. Because of that, I’m happy. Yesterday night I share with you all that I realise I’ve been on cruise control and there’s been this hollow comfort that’s creeping into my life. I realise this morning the word I was missing was lethargic. I was feeling lethargic because of things that are going, that things are going okay and I didn’t want to step off my comfort zone. So this morning I had plans a lot more ambitious than what has been a normal day for me for the past few months. Um, that there’s a set of programs for the upcoming International Day of play that I had a schedule to finish designing in the morning and send out and I had a video I wanted to shoot in the afternoon. So just by having these challenges make me get up and then going with a lot more energy and enthusiasm than, than what has been going on for the past few months. Now at the end of the day, I failed to do all of them. Yeah, the, the things that, but the things that made me fail are things that I can learn from and that made me better and made my work better. So for instance, I discovered the spot I was going to shoot that video. Uh, the sun was shining directly to the Camera so I did quite a lot of adjustments around that um yeah and I still couldn’t get it done but um but I learnt and um and I had it rescheduled for another day so I’m happy that the mistakes arose and and I just did and I learnt and I look forward to to tomorrow it’s just like moving up in a division in sports that um I will lose a lot more but I’ll be better for having moved up so another thing that I found interesting and worth mentioning today is because I packed my schedule with plans on things that are worthwhile for me um, when people ask me to follow up on things that I didn’t want to do I had a reason I can give for not doing them and most of all I gave myself the permission to focus on the important and worthwhile things and I’ll bet that the things that I said no to today will sort themselves out pointless stuff usually does that that is sort they sort themselves out so they say that Idol Hands is the devil’s workshop. When I’m not idol then there’s a lot less chance for my life to be built up with a rubbish that accumulates to make me lethargic so I’m happier than I was yesterday and I’ll let you know how I go tomorrow.

Date: 2024-04-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7355767402627419400?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 186 – Band aids #journal #gratitude

Today, I’m grateful for Band Aids. It’s inevitable that we have cuts and scrapes. And when we do look at them.

Date: 2024-04-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7355765980586429714?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 286 – band aids

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Date: 2024-04-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7355458281692777735?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 62 On cruise control #journal #mistakes #gratitude

hi this is Brisbane city’s King George Square just waiting for someone to carpool home I thought I’d do my mistake journal for the night while I’m waiting so this entry is sort of a step back to look at the mistakes over the last couple of months and what I noticed is that life has been pretty good and mistakes have been pretty low and I can’t recall any major ones and uh life’s pretty chill which on face value I should be pretty happy with right only I’m not and I sort of feel like I’m on cruise control like what an athlete would an athlete who is comfortable with his races and wins both of them but doesn’t move up to the next division there is a hollow comfort so the purpose of recording and reviewing mistakes like I’m doing is not to reduce them it is to be comfortable so that I challenge myself and not be afraid to make them and to make the worthwhile one so that I can learn from I can’t do that if I’m on cruise control so there aren’t any major stress in my life at the moment and um this is a good period I should be taking reasonable risks to try new things and to learn and so while I’m waiting here I’m making plans in my head about trying out some new things tomorrow to get out of my comfort zone otherwise I’m gonna get stale and um I’ll start to wither I think let’s see what happens

Date: 2024-04-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7355390516894158088?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 185 – Dictionaries #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for dictionaries and in particular this dictionary it was published the year I was born and it’s been with me for as far as my memories can take me I can still remember some of the words that I looked up in primary school in this dictionary and the excitement of finding it by going through the alphabet and the letters one page at a time one thing also that I remember is discovering how the word aardvark is not in this dictionary does it mean that this is not eligible to be a dictionary I don’t know I’m just grateful that this volume has been with me for so many years

Date: 2024-04-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7355389397484752146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 285 – my special bookmarks

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Date: 2024-04-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7355109948935654663?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 61 Showing appreciation #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today I signed a farewell card for somebody leaving an organisation that I work closely with and I wrote on the card that I appreciated how she does all the work that is unseen and unacknowledged and I thought that was the best compliment I could it was the best compliment I could think of but later I realised that there’s something not quite right with that because if I know she’s doing the work then why didn’t I say something and why didn’t I acknowledge it so sometimes I make the mistake of believing there will be better opportunities to thank someone for their contributions like at farewells or end of your parties when really the best time to thank somebody for doing the work is when work is done so that’s something I in the way that I treat people that I have to work on and that also made me think whether I’m doing it to myself whether I am kind to myself and acknowledge to myself some of the positive things that I do or am I waiting for my funeral for someone to say that to me I think I make that mistake too

Date: 2024-04-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354948320650874120?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 184 – Dim Sum #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for Cantonese Dim Sum the phrase dim sum means a drop or a touch of heart so each dish is in a basket and in little portions that can be shared so every mouthful is supposed to be a sharing between the host and guests between family and friends around the table so I’m sharing that with you today oh my God

Date: 2024-04-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7354946343380585746?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 284 – star wars

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Date: 2024-04-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354708379001998600?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 60 Hero worship and parents #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake review is around the area of uh hero worship and changes to mindsets when a hero is no longer a hero so while doing some work this afternoon I came across a reference to an academic paper by a neuroscientist who I used to read a lot when I started out in my career so I met him a few times at conferences and um he was a great scientist and a good person he was someone I looked up to in terms of how he does his science and how he built his career so I had a bit of a hero worship of him uh when I was so young so today when I came across his name I looked up what he’s been up to in recent times and I can see some of his recent writings but I was disappointed um because he sort of have ventured into some cooky stuff and not things that I thought was um rational or responsible so anyway um that could just be my opinion but the main thing is that I felt the bit of a let down because my perception of somebody I looked up to had a significant and a very sudden change and and that was uncomfortable but what that reminded me of is uh what what I went through with my parents um as with everyone as I grew from childhood into adulthood I remember there was a significant uncomfortable change when I saw my parent differently during adolescence to when I went to uni and I needed a lot more freedom at that age but I didn’t know but didn’t know how to approach it I didn’t have any instructions on how to process it or how to talk to anyone about it including my parents it was confusing time for me and for my parents so it seems in our society we don’t have the language or the framework on how to work through changes in roles of people that are significant to us um working in ageing for so many years I can see a lot of that in families when someone goes into an aged care facility it means the role of the elder person changes and um there isn’t a helpful way to process and communicate it so it’s confusing times for for a lot of people what I want to get on what I want to get to with of this is my relationship with uh with my kids as a father so at some stage my kids will no doubt also go through the changes as everyone growing up does and through all the mistakes that I’ve um just described before I I wouldn’t know how to handle that or to communicate with them about it so I decided that um I need to start working out how to do it so if anybody’s watching this and have a good way to deal with these transitions then let me know I’d love to know um or you can keep watching and I’ll let you know over the next 10 years if I keep posting for 10 years I’ll let you know what I work at thank you Goodnight

Date: 2024-04-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354676062514662674?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
#stitch with @gratitudepractice Homing pigeon vs Internet @Jeff Geerling Gratitude Day 183 #gratitude #journal

hey tones as a formal computer scientist what I can explain is that if you have a big enough USB drive it’s faster to strap that USB drive to a homing pigeon and send that off then to use the internet to transfer the data I’ll put a video in the description that explains it what that means though is that in the multiverse of possibilities there is a universe where I am sitting here instead of using my phone I am waiting for homing pigeons to come tonight with my Netflix and my emails and my TikToks I’m trying to decide whether I’m grateful for this version of reality where I have the internet or that other version where I have homing pigeons which one are you grateful for

Date: 2024-04-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7354663199016373522?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 283 – sunsets on an evening walk

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Date: 2024-04-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354350395268812050?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 59 Living life by quotes #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today I came across this quote choose people who don’t judge you on your worst days so that’s a pretty good quote choose people who don’t judge you on your worst days so to me it’s about finding support that’s non judgemental for at the times when you need it and to give ourselves a chance and environment where we can be vulnerable and to build some resilience and uh some self worth so to me the biggest message to take out of it is to give ourselves some kindness when we’re at our worst so that we can recover and heal so it’s a good message but I brought up this quote primarily to point out the mistake that I sometimes make with quotes like this which is to to take the quotes too literally and to start to live life by it because quotes are great as uh simple messages to latch on to at the time when we need to work on something but when I start to live my life by them things to start to fall apart so as in this in this example what we’re talking about are other people’s judgement of us so how many people can really withhold judgements when we are at our worst so I know how I am when I’m at my worst and I don’t think there’s anybody around me who is such a saint that they can be not triggered to say something with the best of intentions so am I supposed to reject them as the quote implies so one thing I always find hardest is when crisis are over and I move on to day to day living I have to let go of simple aspirational quotes and deal with these complex messy stuff in life and in relationships um I I do have to choose people who judge me because that’s what people do including the people close to me and I myself am proned to making judgements about other people so and I would hope that my loved ones would show some kindness if I make some mistakes about demonstrating judgements at the wrong times so it’s all messy stuff and that’s okay and that’s why there isn’t an operating manual for life that just comes with quotes so I think it’ll be a mistake for us to look for simple manuals like that because life just isn’t like that

Date: 2024-04-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354289320859094290?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 182 – Chess playing programs #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for chess playing programs I was at the beginning of my AI research career 30 years ago at the University of Western Australia when the AI program Deep Blue first beat world champion Gary Kasparov and the chess world at the time screamed that this will mean the end of the game but since then as we saw the game have flourished and people have found unimaginable ways to adapt what technology brought to open up how we play how we connect how we form new vibrant communities humans in terms of our skills and ability to do tasks we are surpassed by many animals and machines and we will be surpassed in many more in the future but I am eternally optimistic about our future regardless of how the media hypes the negativity because I see two things that we are good at since the beginning of civilisation that there are no signs showing that we will be challenged in and that is 1 our capacity to move as communities and two is our capacity to collectively adapt I’m grateful to be at this point of humans civil… civilisation and I am also grateful to be bringing up my children into the future in front of us

Date: 2024-04-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7354287665488923912?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 282 – board games

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Date: 2024-04-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7354022972710997256?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 58 Self driving cars #journal #mistakes #gratitude

do you think we need self driving cars self driving cars feel like something that’s useful if it’s available and as a former AI researcher I can understand the fascination with the engineering challenge why not right as long as the cars are safe why not have a vehicle that we can jump into and it will take us where we wanna go so I thought about this question today because I was helping an old lady onto a bus I’ve been an aged care service provider for 20 years now and I’ve helped elderly people get into vehicles more times than I can remember so here’s an the population of people who can benefit significantly because of their mobility issues they can benefit significantly from self driving cars but in all the years that I’ve been doing ageing services I’ve never met a elderly person who gets excited about the possibilities of self driving cars they don’t need self driving cars what they need are help is help to get in and out of vehicles what they need are people who can listen to them and schedule and manage the time for them to get to where they need to go what they need is to feel safe and talk to the person driving them about something like a worrying medical examination that they’re driving to or something like that none of these things are solved by self driving cars so that got me thinking about where this perceived excitement about self driving cars come from and all I can think about are engineers and investors and entrepreneurs and people like that who start to gain massively from these technologies taking off so it all seems to be based more on hype than uh than actual need so today’s mistake I’m reviewing is about me being misled into thinking I need things that I don’t need I fall into that a lot I’d like to try and work towards on doing that and focusing on what’s important for me and for people around me like people old ladies trying to get into a bus

Date: 2024-04-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7353965720138583304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 281 – homemade pies

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Date: 2024-04-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353886790190779655?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 181 – Balance #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for balance. We’ve just done the family review, and this is what the balance looks like for us. It consists of sleep time, downtime, physical play time, focus time, reflection time, connection time, and meal time. What does balance look like for you?

Date: 2024-04-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353539066165579026?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 180 – I finally found my car! #journal #gratitude

at this moment I’m grateful that I found my car even though in the last 20 minutes I’ve been hauling this shopping trolley across the parking lot because I’ve forgotten where I park my car and tomorrow I’ll be grateful that I put back into my car the Apple Airtag tracker that I took out yesterday

Date: 2024-04-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7353529668403842311?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smilde Day 280 – florist

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Date: 2024-04-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353458855856196882?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 57 React online #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake I’ll talk about is triggered by a viral Instagram post I just read in that post the creator displayed a message about something that happened during the the person’s early schooling that destroyed the person’s life and she’s not able to do anything anymore and because of it how unfair it is with a very emotional post so there are few thousand views on that already and the thousands of people who make comments a lot of them retelling their own difficulties with things like this so I don’t know if the events in that post or in the comments are true and in a sense it doesn’t matter because what I want focusing on now is my own reaction to it when I read something like that I too like most people feel it resonates with some negative experiences I’ve had in my past and I found that that in my lifetime for almost all of the things that didn’t go right there will be moments when I feel that what happened is really terrible that is difficult to think about is difficult to process a lot of times I feel like crying when that happens what I’ve also learnt is what I need is to have someone beside me to give me some comfort to some simple words of empathy um arms around the shoulder if if I get that then 10 minutes later I don’t feel the same way and an hour or day later you know I get some perspective and the the event doesn’t feel like so bad and even some good bits to it sometimes and I move on now that type of support I’ve just talked about is very hard to get online you need somebody stable you know a loved one a good friend a therapist sometimes to be beside me and not in the emotional trench that I am in so that’s the type of support I like the the boring calm type I have however many times in the past taken these low moments online and this dates back to the old electronic bulletin boards from 30 years ago it was a mistake for me to do that because when I do I don’t get to move on to a different state of mind 10 minutes later or an hour or day later because the moment I put those unprocessed very extreme negative emotions online I always get two seconds later somebody saying I feel exactly the same way and then two minutes later now the’re10 people telling me their own stories about similar emotions and similar experiences and then a few hours later is there thousands so I don’t get to move on because now there are thousands of people telling me that what I feel in that moment is the right way to be you know look at it it’s all in writing so how can I get out of my emotional trench when there are thousands of people in there sharing it with me and in such a deep way so going back to this the negative emotions that’s stirred by the post that I just read um so while I’m still triggered which do you think is the right response and which would be a mistake is it that I walk away and go find somebody to have a cup of coffee with and talk about it or I engage and I post my reaction to it so I think you all know what my answer is I like to know what yours is

Date: 2024-04-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353267218907417864?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 56 Putting away dishes #journal #mistakes#gratitude

It’s close to ten thirty PM and I’m putting away my dishes into the dishwasher before going to into my bedtime routine. I thought I’d review with you this task of putting away dirty dishes because it’s uh, reflects a problem I have with um, procrastination and a common mistake that I make with procrastination. So having dirty dishes pile up is a uh, flag for me because putting away the dishes is a mundane task and I need a decent level of regulation in order to avoid dropping into procrastination and start to let the dishes power up. So I’ve had situations in the past when I’ve been busy or I start losing sleep or meals and stress starts to build up when uh, and one of the main signs of all those things happen is that I procrastinate in putting away dishes. So my sink area becomes like a canary in a coal mine that it warns me when things are up and I need attention. So years ago I worked out with my psychologist signs of my health deteriorating and I made it into a chart that I put beside my bed so I can see it all the time. So you can see here on my chart the signs are, you know, if my grooming starts to start to grow, especially my facial hair, uh, and um, I start to lose a lot of sleep or I have a racing thoughts, uh, and a lot of Overthinking. And then the last one, I start dishes. So the, when these signs starts to show, then it’s time to go see my, my therapist because I need some attention. So I better stop now, uh, and, um, stop this video and start clearing away my dishes, um, and get off to bed. So what about you? Do you have obvious signs that tells you when you need to take care of yourself and you need attention? Um, and if so, what do you do when you see those signs?

Date: 2024-04-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353159705709088018?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 179 – TV Remote Control #journal #gratitude

Today, I’m grateful for the TV remote. Imagine if we have to watch TV without our remote these days. Would you survive? But look at it, though. Look how many buttons there. If I gave you a pop quiz on what every button on your remote does, would you be able to tell me?

Date: 2024-04-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7353045233837362439?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 279 – Brisbane sunrise
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Date: 2024-04-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352880843033038088?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 55 Preserve the green mountain #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake is about over extending my capacity and dealing with something beyond my sphere of influence this morning I got a call informing me that a few people who are coming to the meeting later this week can’t make it and because this meeting is to review a milestone and to agree to move on to the next stage not having this meeting would mean quite a few delays to important works I contacted a few people to see if we can still communicate the necessary materials and so we can still decide on what we need to decide and avoid these delays and it wasn’t looks like it wasn’t working out and some stage I had I was waiting for few people to call me back just so that I can then call few more other people to get this um to get this uh resolved the public holiday wasn’t helping and because it was a public holiday it meant this was disrupting my family activities as well so the this arrangement still isn’t resolved yet and I am to continue tomorrow but reflecting on it tonight I think it’s prudent to accept that delay is not avoidable in this case one of the misleading things about today’s world is that because there are so many choices and so many solutions I can always keep going to try and patch up plans that are not working out and it sometimes as in this case is leads to bigger messes and the distraction from other important things uh in it reminds me of the saying we have in Chinese which is if we preserve the Green Mountain we don’t have to be afraid of not having firewood so in this case I am going to do that to let go of trying to collect a few more pieces of firewood but by doing that burn down a big part of the Green Mountain that would be a mistake so do you have situations where you overextend yourself trying to cover up changes so I’d love to hear from you thanks for listening and um I’ll see you in the next video

Date: 2024-04-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352766620017724679?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 178 – Humming #journal #gratitude

do do do do do do do do do today I’m grateful for humming I found in my life that it is not possible to hold a tune in your head while also holding on to negativity and the physiological release of humming relieves stress why don’t you try it

Date: 2024-04-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7352765962417917202?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smiled day 278 – playgrounds

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Date: 2024-03-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352533380459711751?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 54 Following advice #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake is giving advice to others that I don’t follow myself I’m reviewing the media plan I have for my kids with them today and look at some of these items turn off screens an hour before bed there will be no mobile phone devices at meal times By and large they have stuck to what we agree to and and these are good advice but my own adherence to what I told them is not good I have loads of reasons to give as to why I can’t stick to these rules I have um I can say that I have lots of important things to do but really do I when my kids become adults would I accept from them the reasons that I’m giving myself now probably not sometimes my rational brain that gives good advice is not the brain that I use to regulate my own life but no matter I Tomorrow’s another day I can do better I’m human I accept that I’m human I make mistakes so I’ll start walking through this list for myself and adjust my life and hopefully by the time the kids are old enough to see this video I’ll be able to tell them that the rules that apply to them equally applies to me

Date: 2024-03-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352426218014182663?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 177 – Problem solving #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for how gratitude helps with problem solving this is a question I came across in the conversation today does gratitude solve any problems what do you think well to me gratitude doesn’t solve any problems because problem solving requires actions so why practice gratitude journaling well gratitude puts me in a better state of mind to solve problems and that means I can either solve a problem uplifted and energised or I can solve them feeling down and grumpy so gratitude is the skill to shift my mind to being uplifted and energised so that I can act also I think making gratitude statements makes for better videos than making grumpy statements what do you think

Date: 2024-03-31
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7352425153600523527?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 277 – easter celebrations

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Date: 2024-03-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352168123677625607?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 53 I don’t know #journal #mistakes #gratitude

I learnt something from my kids today about managing my own biases so in my life I’ve encountered a lot of people who say things that are beyond their level of expertise and in my opinion by doing so they cause a lot of harm so something I highly value are people who ask questions and people who are able to say I don’t know I find that to be very rare that people admit that they don’t know and and ask questions so when you talk to me if we touch on this subject you will find that I will advocate for people to say I don’t know and be comfortable to show our vulnerability when we are ignorant or something today my conversation with my kids drifted into this and to my surprise their response was that that’s not right because if they say I don’t know without even trying to find out or trying some guesses then that would mean giving up so they said that their teacher told them that and that gave me pause and I gave it a thought and I realised that in the classroom the perspective would be quite different from the one that I just described in the classroom where kids are challenged with tasks and and ask to respond to questions all the time it would be unhealthy to have the option of saying I don’t know and basically absolve all responsibility to solve the problem that has been posted them so I realised that I should be giving the the message to learners to admit that they don’t know but to communicate how they will ask questions that they will find out so that they do know so I’m grateful I had the chance to see my mistake and to reconsider my position I apologised to my kids and gave them a more nuance and more accurate message so what’s your view on admitting you don’t know share your thoughts in the comments below

Date: 2024-03-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7352013607250545927?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 176 – My Fountain #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for my fountain the water goes where it needs to go you can’t stop it from getting there but at the same time it doesn’t fight anything in order to get there it’s good way to live life

Date: 2024-03-30
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351994112771509511?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 276 – wild birds

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Date: 2024-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351776458408348935?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 52 Balancing busy and slow days #journal#mistakes #gratitude

today is a quiet day in terms of mistakes it’s a calm Easter Friday not much to do at home or at work and interesting observation I wanna share with you is how the past two slow days compares to the busy for 3 days of the week so in terms of stress load and in terms of the amount of mistake that happened during the busy days it would seem that the past two days would logically be better days but that’s not the feeling I can that’s not how it seems to me when I review them the busy first half of the week just acts as a balance to the slower second half is like the slow days all the mistakes that came from the busy days get a chance to settle in my mind and the lessons get to sink in and I can comfortably adjust my life to accommodate those lessons in the same way those busy days are necessary because they counter the boredom of the of the slow days so then the busy days reenergizes those mundane routines so sometimes I make the mistake of on busy days of wishing that it was slow and then on slow days wishing that it was busier but in the reality is that they all are necessary and they all health healthy if they all act in balance it all forms this um unpredictable adventure that is life so how’s your day with um mistakes today any difference on uh Easter Friday let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351684861557624082?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 175 – Easter Eggs #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for Easter eggs the kids don’t know yet this is what they’re getting on Sunday and they aren’t allowed on TikTok so there’s a lot of commercialisation around Easter eggs and you can see just even from the packaging how much is put in the drives up the prices but in spite of some negative aspects to it it doesn’t stop me from using it for positives I’m grateful that over the years that Easter eggs have enabled me to teach my young children simple messages about counting our blessings about joy within family activities and messages of renewal I’m grateful for the season and holiday and what Easter eggs brings

Date: 2024-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351676460597267730?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 275 – table tennis workout

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Date: 2024-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351487057325280520?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 174 – Self Care #journal #gratitude

tonight I’m grateful for self care and the recognition that the value in any life is in the fact that it is healthy and functional for me to be healthy and functional I have to act to care for my body mind and soul I’m grateful that I can do that I’m grateful for the people around me who support me to do so and that includes people online who engages interacts and leave messages to help me thank you

Date: 2024-03-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7351395494876269831?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 274 – groceries shopping

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Date: 2024-03-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351216436544638216?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 51 Preview of the day #journal #mistakes#gratitude

Today’s Mistake Journal entry is an early one it’s a preview of today rather than a review I’m just getting ready for the morning I didn’t have a good sleep last night because I was troubled by thinking about some work matters that kept me up so I’m not as fresh for the day as I am normally and I find it useful to in situations like this to catch myself and be aware of the state where mistakes are more likely to be to happen and um and emotions would be proned to fluctuate more to adjust my schedule so I do more of the mundane less challenging things and to inform people who are close to me that I’m interacting with if it is appropriate to let them know about my state so it helped minimise all the unnecessary silly unproductive mistakes so I hope this sharing is helpful for you

Date: 2024-03-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7351012425560378642?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 50 Power to destroy #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake video is about this quote that TikTok has been showing me a few times this past week so the quote goes maturity is when you have the power to destroy someone who did you wrong but you just breathe walk away and life take care of them I like to talk about the power to destroy someone who did me wrong so this is one situation that happens a lot and it’s a mistake I make over and over again so the situation goes someone something serious has gone wrong and someone has made a mistake and I’m damaged by it so in all the situations when this happens this is always a moment when it becomes obvious to me that I can strike back the same way that someone struck me and I can destroy them this moment never fails to to occur and and is something about the way as a human being I defend myself or the way that I act to survive that creates this feeling that if I do to them what they’re doing to me then I’ll be able to destroy them the way that they are damaging me so when this happens the thought in my head is I have this power they better not mess with me or I’m going to use it it always feels good to hang on to this power but only for a short time it’s like having nuclear weapon it um I find very quickly that I can never use such a weapon and holding on to it day after day means it contaminates and poisons me and it prompts the other person to also build up such a power and pretty soon what seems like a power to destroy someone else is really only a power that destroys myself and then it gives my head an excuse to blame the other person for what happened and the cycle then continues so this is mistake I make again and again which is that this belief that I can stop someone who wants to destroy me by holding the power to destroy them in the network world like we have today can I really stop somebody from destroying me if they put all their heart and soul into it I can do some basic messy solution to make myself less attractive for people to want to destroy me I can do a lot of relationship solutions to get lower the chances of doing it but by large the we are vulnerable to what other people do to us the solution isn’t to hold the power to destroy someone so I’d like to modify this quote that you know something that suits me for myself I think is to strive to be comfortable with myself to still protect myself appropriately but be open to the uncertainties of that comes with what I fear that came from what I feel is that have been wronged so the quote to me would be something like maturity is being able to sit vulnerable and just breathe so that would work for me what about you does it work for you to have power to destroy someone who wronged you how does it work for you let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-03-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7350985717448756488?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 173 – Milkshakes #journal #gratitude
I’m grateful for milkshakes look at it how can you not be grateful

Date: 2024-03-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7350984963346550024?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 273 – chocolates and sweets

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Date: 2024-03-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7350985717448756488?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 49 Spelling mistakes #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake is this one it’s an Instagram post that I did two days ago and you can see there are three mistakes in here 3 misspelling for the word “decision” so that’s not once twice three times so it’s really getting on my nerves but I’m going to leave it up because the only reason I would take it down is my own vanity it doesn’t affect anybody and um and I’m good to leave it up so that it teaches me the lesson that I that I can’t go back and revise history that my mistakes and my past mistakes are my past mistakes and I should welcome them and um and celebrate them so it will grind on my nerves for a bit and then life will move on and I will realise that the world doesn’t collapse and I’ll continue to make more posts

Date: 2024-03-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7350630032357788935?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 172 – Paper Windmills #journal #gratitude

Date: 2024-03-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7350624501522025736?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 276 – paper windmills

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Date: 2024-03-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7350252828675394823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 48 Email broadcast #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today I made the mistake of sending out email to a group of people pointing out something wrong and then getting a bad response the email was to point out to the group that they shouldn’t cc everyone when the message is meant for a particular person because it creates an explosion in a number of emails now I thought it was a useful thing to do and I was smart for doing it and but I received a few negative responses and I was annoyed at first because I was trying to be helpful and I thought what I said made sense so don’t shoot the messenger you know but now that I’m reflecting on it I think the mistakes I made are a few first I didn’t have good relationship with the group and so I don’t know how they normally react to criticisms so people usually are in different stages of preparedness to receive input and for different things and I hadn’t taken the time to know the people second probably more important is that I hadn’t thought through whether the problem that I said was a problem is was really a problem this was first time I was involved in this email explosion with this group and when I think about it even though there were a few messages in total I maybe would have spent 20 30 seconds to read extra emails and just ignore them no one else was complaining about it so why did I think there was actually a problem that needed advice from me the only reason then I was left with was that I wanted to look smart pointing out this to everyone so I picked the wrong group to try and fulfill my own needs to look smart and it was also silly that that I use a broadcast email to tell everyone and point out to them to not indiscriminately broadcast emails so that was an inconsistent thing to do so all in all was useful lesson to learn albeit annoying at the time to learn something about myself and also to have worked out that there are better ways to get what I want have you ever done this to send out what you thought were was a helpful message and then getting a bad response what happened with you and how did you handle it let me know in the comments

Date: 2024-03-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7350168627473042695?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 171 – Waterproof phones #journal #gratitude #rain

it’s raining again and I’m taking a moment to my backyard again just to enjoy the rain today I’m grateful for waterproof phones and cameras like the one I’m talking into now I grew up in an age when electronics and water do not mix and it was a monumental task just to set up and take photos and videos in the rain now I can capture life with all its amazing natural elements and share it within moments I’m grateful for sharing

Date: 2024-03-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7350167201292225799?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 271 – my garden on a rainy day

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Date: 2024-03-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349905376009030920?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 47 Overpromising #journal #mistakes #gratitude

this morning I made the mistake of over promising a group that I’d set up a video conference for them so they can meet up they scheduled the time and then when it came time I opened up the laptop and found that their camera wasn’t working that find ways to notify the friends on the other side that we can’t do it I was a little bit embarrassed that I didn’t check the equipment when I had the chance before I made my promise but they were fine after I apologise and I learnt to do checks before making promises what mistakes did you make today or how did you feel how did you recover what did you learn put it in the comments

Date: 2024-03-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349871618958576904?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 170 – Marbles #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for marbles if you ever feel like you’re losing your marbles not to worry I have some spare ones for you

Date: 2024-03-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349870423187705096?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 270 – Marbles

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Date: 2024-03-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349503111284755719?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 46 Moving on #journal #mistakes #gratitude
Mistake Journal entry Day 46 Today I saw another music recital if you watch kids play music have you noticed how kids respond differently when they make mistakes during performances some would pause and others would move on and keep playing so I’ve notice different music teachers they all give students two types of experiences to deal with mistakes one is the normal daily practice those are the ones for skill improvement to get routines into muscle memory all these to get to a level of standard where the child avoid making those technical mistakes the second type is in the recitals and the performances to do as many of them as possible and with performances unlike practice you don’t get to stop and go back over a mistake with performances you have to keep going forward especially if you’re playing the band on ensemble on orchestra where everybody else is moving forward so this makes me think of my experiences with mistakes of all kinds not just with music how often do I give myself the chance to experience mistakes would I develop this habit of keep going forward instead of getting stuck by the mistake so this is day 46 of this mistake journal and in my reviews of mistakes during all this time usually the emotions that surround my common mistakes are pretty similar they are generally embarrassment or regrets and frustration bit of guilt a bit of shame a bit of fear of consequences do you have those it it is generally getting stuck on these emotions that stops me moving forward so these 40 odd days when I have put myself under a microscope for improving my mistake handling I found I can move forward after the mistakes a bit faster so I think it’s just like music performances it is giving myself permission and a chance to experience these emotions and to form the habit of moving on when I feel them in effect just to keep playing so maybe one day it’ll be habit that’s what I’ll keep working on hope this is useful for you see you in the next video

Date: 2024-03-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349484616916421906?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 169 – Moving Forward #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful that time moves forward in one direction if time moves forward and backwards like in the movies We’ll constantly be trying to revise life and create a mess just like in the movies many things that gives life meaning like growing and learning they require us to move forward even though sometimes I do wish I can go back and experience something I lost or see someone who is gone it’s more important for me to look forward and anticipate and hope I’m grateful most of all for hope

Date: 2024-03-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7349483579241467144?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 269 – food and music

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Date: 2024-03-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349169644831264008?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 45 Bias from rankings #journal #mistakes#gratitude #worldhappinessreport

in today’s mistake journal entry I want to talk about the impact of rankings I refer to the recently released World Happiness Report so this is a good report release annually with a lot of information and nuanced discussion about happiness however it is normally presented in news reporting as a world ranking about where people are happiest and saddest I usually find it a mistake to look at news like that and draw any sort of conclusions about people’s happiness especially my own because it’s not what the report tells us in the report there are there’s one part that talks about measuring our subjective sense of our own well being and that the report relies on 3 indicators for it and that is the survey of our life evaluations and our indicators of positive and negative emotions so on the life evaluation they get their data from a world poll done by Gallup with a sample of about 1,000 people in different in each country are asked to rate their current life as whole by imagining themselves on the ladder call a Cantril ladder so these rankings are done on this this ratings of life evaluations are done on many key variables like the GDP capital social support healthy lifespan freedom generosity corruption and so on so forth so there’s a lot of different parts to the to the report the when we only look at the final ranking we collapse all of that information into a simple conclusion no so so why do I say that it’s a mistake to do this to only look at ranking is because it is disempowering it I can’t do anything about where my country or any other country sits I can only bitch about my country being lower than another country or my country currently sits higher but I can’t do anything to keep it there and so these are disempowering comparisons instead what I get if I look into the report itself and think through the information that it presents I get to think is evaluation of my life is whole important for me maybe I value some parts more than others maybe I value social support or maybe I value living longer or maybe I value to generosity of people living around me or maybe I want to be more generous to people around me because that increases the happiness everywhere within the whole community maybe I wanna make changes that impacts on my positive negative emotions rather than dwelling on broad evaluations of my life so all these options opens up to me to change my life and on how to act I can do all of this by looking into report but I can’t do it if I’d only look at the ranking so we do this disempowering thing a lot we two other examples that I fall into trap of doing a lot is looking at IQ IQ scores for intelligence or using university rankings to choose universities so I need to be careful when I counter these rankings and the biggest probably the biggest mistake I find is that always that I don’t acknowledge that these rankings sways me when I don’t admit to myself that I’m susceptible to the psychological impact no matter how much work I do it has an impact when I see a number for this person or place that is higher or lower than somebody else’s then it has an impact and when I don’t acknowledge and when I make a mistake on not acknowledging that then I stop working to counter my own biases and or to work to think critically so my main message in this video is that there’s no expert on my happiness except me and there’s no expert on your happiness except you so I urge you to use well researched reports like the World Happiness Report for information to provoke question to think for ourselves and my solution to my happiness is in me and your solution to your happiness is in you

Date: 2024-03-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349122369279036680?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 168 – World Happiness Report 2024 #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the World Happiness Report the 2024 version was just released a few days ago I’m grateful for all the hard work of the people who did the research and produced the report that included many people in the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network the people at Oxford Well Being Research Centre the people at Gallup Poll and the report’s editorial board I’m grateful that such reports exist that goes into the nuances of happiness and true information and true questions provokes us to think and leads us to action for how we find our own happiness on the flip side I am not grateful for the reporting taken by most news outlets who universally uses this report for attention grabbing and highlights things like where countries are in in rankings who’s in the top 10 who has dropped out of top 20 the report itself makes a good case for how happiness is a complex and nuance concept in comparisons like the one I just mentioned is a source of unhappiness I hope for your own sake and your own happiness that you will ignore news reporting around it and engage with your report directly to his website

Date: 2024-03-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7349119288718150919?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 268 I have a feeling the emoji keyboard maker likes to smile!

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Date: 2024-03-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348954565267541266?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 44 Recognising pain #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Tonight’s reflection is on the mistake of not recognising signs of pain I was near a bunch of kids earlier today and one of them said something mean to another and the other kids around them were conscious enough to call out that mean behaviour and told the kid that was doing it to stop I could see the one being picked on was relieved that he wasn’t alone dealing with it and he and his bunch of friends then wandered off to continue to play the adult with them also chipped in and told off the kid who was acting mean so it was heartwarming to see kids standing up to support each other and to support the victim of an unkind act it is what I naturally would want to do as well because I’ve been a victim of unkind acts and I know how it feels what I do want to reflect on though tonight is the more difficult thing to do which is to recognise the sign of pain in the kid was acting unkind so both sides in this scenario are in pain and I find it usually is much harder to recognise the pain in the aggressor and we end up shaming them or or making them feel bad or closing them off and that is likely to stop them from thinking about their actions and changing for the better which ultimately is what all we really want it’s very rare for somebody who was told off or shamed to turn around and then be kind because they’ve been told off so unkind acts are usually signs of struggling with difficult feelings and insecurities or other painful things to deal with and they need support as well so is by addressing both sides with empathy and we support that we encourage the healing and positive change in everyone involved so what I saw today was one kid was supported and another who wandered off looking dejected and unfortunately will probably act up with more and kind acts in the future

Date: 2024-03-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348625942446607624?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 167 – Harmony Day #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for Harmony Day in Australia it’s all orange today here are shirts from fabric painting activities my kids and I did a few years ago for Harmony Day is a sort of display shirt in their wardrobe now I’m grateful as a parent that there are activities I can experience multiculturalism with my children in a positive way and an age appropriate way gives us the opportunity also and a solid foundation as I introduce them to the larger United Nations International Day of elimination of Racial Discrimination that’s also on this day

Date: 2024-03-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7348623790902938898?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 267 – all things orange

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Date: 2024-03-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348399477599866119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 43 Call my mum #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Tonight’s mistake to review with you is not calling my mum often enough. My mum lives in Malaysia and I’m in Australia. My dad passed away a few years ago and I don’t call her often enough. So I just did a quick search online for the common reasons that people have for not calling their mums. Here it is. Busy schedule. Yep, that’s for me. New responsibilities, sort of time zone differences, yes. Adaptation to new routines, yes. Independence and identity formation. Yep, even for me at 50 years old. Avoidance of negative emotions. Yep, a little bit of that Assumption of mutual understanding. We don’t have to call. Think so. And digital communication alternative. Yes, we have lots of different ways of doing it. So anyway, it’s scary just how this list is similar to my list. So I suppose the whole world has the same excuses for not calling our mums. I don’t have any great insights for you in this video. The this looks like one of those situations where the behaviour just has to be changed. Have to set schedule and timer for doing it. So this video is just to remind you, call your mum.

Date: 2024-03-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348286890669264146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 166 – Waste Management #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for Waste Management it’s my city council’s weekly bin collection day tomorrow for any communities and individuals to be healthy there has to be a good waste disposal and management system in place and when we think about it this applies to all parts of life including non physical waste this means can we identify those parts of our routines and our work and our leisure our thoughts our mindsets can we identify those parts that are worth keeping and what are rubbish and needs to be thrown out and for those parts they are rubbish can we treat them or dispose of them properly so that they don’t clutter up or stink up our lives life management is an essential part of life and I’m grateful that I’ve learnt from my elders and others who have done it well

Date: 2024-03-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7348285529185651975?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 266 – waste bins

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Date: 2024-03-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348100164655041800?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 42 Prejudice and Bias #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake I want to review is how my brain deals with my own prejudices and biases I was at my kids school musical recital today and in the recital all the kids introduced themselves and introduced the musical pieces today all of them did it except one this one kid just giggled and had a grin on her face and there was nothing that the teacher could do to get her to say what she was supposed to say and when that happened my emotional reaction was where are her manners how inappropriate what are the teachers teaching her in lessons what the parents teaching her at home so I I did not have a good impression of her because this type of emotions have occurred in me before it takes me a moment to adjust and to realise that this reaction comes from a a deep vulnerable place inside of me growing up in my traditional Chinese culture I’m conditioned to behave so as not to embarrass my parents and so this kid was striking fear in me to think what if my kid behaves in the same way how embarrassing that would be for me as a parent so the emotions were coming from my own needs for my own self image as a parent and has very little to do with the kid self so so that was useful to process albeit a bit uncomfortable in the middle of trying to enjoy musical performances so my next set of thinking is how to move from these primal negative reactions to positive happy ones I don’t wanna be left in the space where the this kid could potentially trigger me to avoid her or worse yet to avoid her kind whatever her kind happens to be cause that’s when prejudice start to form this is where I find gratitude to be a powerful tool so in searching for gratitude I find a lot of things I’m grateful for I am grateful that um the school provides these recitals where kids get to have their experiences and get to make mistakes and get to experience what is like what is expected of them and how to learn to adjust to that because that means that my kids get those opportunities as well I’m grateful that this kid feels safe and comfortable enough to be playful and silly because that means my kids are also in the space where they too are safe and not constantly under stress so all these gratitudes are what turns this negative experience into positive the positive experience that I look forward to in the future so if nothing else can make me feel good and feel uh and I feel good to seek his two things that I don’t expect anyway that’s what happens in my monkey brain I hope you find that helpful what does your monkey brain do let me know in the comments and I’ll see you in my next video

Date: 2024-03-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7348085682595810568?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 165 – Kindness Online @Courageously Kind #journal#gratitude

today I’m grateful for people who have worked hard to bring kindness to the online world I’m always inspired by the work of Liz and Maddie Adams of Courageously Kind just as I believe a lot of other people are similarly inspired I hope they’re able to get through this TikTok ban confusion over in the US with some grace and strength another person I know about who have developed a professional life devoted to kindness in online world is Lauren Hug she’s an author and speaker and um I just read her set of books on digital kindness today I’ll post a review of these books tomorrow I believe kindness can power the world to transcend the turmoil that we are all in at the moment I’m grateful for people who have build a body of work to bring this about

Date: 2024-03-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7347916240494660872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 265 – coffee breaks

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Date: 2024-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7347664044448304402?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 41- Mispronouncing Tortilla Answering @louie_moff@Borkic_ refering to videos @Canadiansintassie @Ness @Katrina Ashleigh #journal #mistakes #gratitude

My mistake today is mispronouncing the double L in tortilla. In my video a couple of hours ago, you can see a few people who have been kind enough to point that out to me. Thank you. I took the chance to look up tortilla in Australia and here’s what I found. There’s a lot of people complaining about how Australians mispronounce the word. This is Canadian lady who is in Tasmania now. There’s also this uh Spanish speaking Uruguayan lady who because her kids says tortillas like my kids and a lot of other Australians, she started copying her kids. And this is bloke who wraps snacks from barbies to make tortilla pockets. And this a viral tortilla slap challenge that went on before my time in TikTok and everybody including wedding couples were doing it. So all in all, it’s been a fun hour looking up what tortilla means to Aussies and I’m glad I made this mistake and I’m glad somebody was willing to point it out to me.

Date: 2024-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7347568442377096466?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 164 – Tortillas #journal #gratitude

Today I’m grateful for tortillas. As a Chinese person who grew up eating mostly my traditional rice based Chinese food, I wasn’t familiar with tortillas until late in my life because tortilla as part of a meso American cuisine is quite a departure from Chinese food. I’ve Learned to enjoy the wheat and corn taste of it, the versatility of putting a meal together. This is a Mexican tortilla stack with beef mince mix with some veggies and cheese and a lot of Tex Mex spice. I’m grateful at how international cuisine have enriched my life.

Date: 2024-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7347567394828733703?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 264 – my tortilla lunch

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Date: 2024-03-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7347395348337282322?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 40 TikTok Ban #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Tonight’s reflection about mistakes comes from my reaction to the recent uproar in the US about the potential ban on TikTok there’s a lot of media reporting and discussions around it including on this platform and I won’t get into the politics or the security issues around it because that’s not the purpose of my journal entries what I find useful to reflect on is the public conversation around the topic and what I can learn from it I see a lot of fear and a lot of reactive language around that perpetuates that fear and that is common mistake that I find I myself make too when I encounter something that I’m uncertain about or worried about I see in most discussions around the topic that somebody’s blaming somebody and somebody’s saying somebody else needs to change and somebody somewhere is attacking somebody else those who favour a ban is attacking the platform and the TikTok owners because the platform is addictive and can be used to manipulate people’s opinions and those who are against the ban says others are infringing on their freedom and right to express to participate and to earn a living I think all of those are valid to raise and should be addressed but they are to me reactive and negative and I choose not to have those as my primary response the purpose of me having a gratitude and mistake journal is to reflect is to reflect and to reframe these reactions to empower myself beyond my fears the question I have for myself is what can I do or to ask it ask it in the way I normally do is if my children are in my shoes what would I teach them to do the answer is that I would teach them to work out how to express and how to participate how to earn a livelihood in a way that is not addictive and not be manipulated that may or may not be on social media but I believe they can do it on social media if they choose to because as I look around at all the wonderful people and the content creators I see on social media I believe the medium can be used for good social media reflects back to us what we put into it and if I put forward fear I would… I will get back fear if I blame someone then somebody else would blame me in return and if but if I put forward calm I put forward solutions and I build communities that’s why I will get back calm solutions and communities social media can be used in non addictive ways if I curate the content that I consume if I do it with intentions and with goals and I have consumption controls I can manage manipulation if I learn critical thinking and I exercise my capacity to use information appropriately and even those bias entertainment base information I don’t have to only resort to attacking people who do things I don’t like if I help build properly formed communities that have problem solving capacity that’s what I tell myself and that is my choice as my primary reaction and that is what I teach my children that the power resides with us so whatever happens with this TikTok ban life will go on I appreciate you sharing with me and I’ll see you in my next entry

Date: 2024-03-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7347285682831772936?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 163 – Gratitude Rituals #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the impact that the rituals of gratitude has on my family life my children and I have a ritual of taking a moment to say a gratitude statement before we leave the house and this ritual that started from being a short 10 second process when they were little have grown to be an elaborate and ever changing set of activities now the last one involve each one of us making a funny sound then making a gratitude statement then them getting on their scooters and riding off into the sunset has been very rewarding to watch them use their playfulness and creativity to turn a simple statement making exercise into games and presentations and a never ending search for positive alternatives to negative behaviours and I’m even more grateful to watch how gratitude itself have kept them happy they know what makes them feel good and they want to keep doing it most of my own insights into finding joy in the world has come from our joint adventures in this if you have family or friends who engages in gratitude rituals I urge you to make it a joint activity and turn the activity itself into something you can be grateful for

Date: 2024-03-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7347282605177441543?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 263 – baking cupcakes

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Date: 2024-03-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346873921645399304?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 39 Over planning #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake I want to review is one about over planning leisure and entertainment this afternoon my kids and I were due at the location where we knew we had to do quite a bit of waiting so as we were preparing to leave we talked about what to pack to pass the time and we starting we started to put into a bag more and more toys and books and devices and puzzles and entertainment options of all kinds just so we have choices I ended up lugging around this huge bag for the afternoon which my shoulder muscles doesn’t don’t appreciate when it came time for us to dip into it it was more stress trying to decide which item to use and we hardly use any of it in the end so the lessons I think from this are a few one is planning is good but mindless planning is counterproductive the second is that too much too many choices is just as bad as not enough choices the the most important lesson though for me is that is a natural thing for fear to drive us to anticipate more and more and try to control more and more when the reality is that we have capacity to handle situations without needing to control exactly how things might turn out the kids and I don’t usually get bored with or without resources and just playing a normal imagination games or having a normal conversation would have given us a good afternoon and that bag cause more pain than necessary the good thing come out of this though is having a bit more confidence and relaxing a bit more next time we have to prepare to do this and I’m glad for the opportunity to learn my shoulder won’t let me forget for a while I think

Date: 2024-03-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346861754372164872?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 162 – Toilets #journal #gratitude

today my family and I are grateful for toilets and the abundance of them in the world around us I think if you imagine going through life in a world without toilets you’ll be just as grateful as we are

Date: 2024-03-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346860923413482770?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 262 – subway fresh sanwiches

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Date: 2024-03-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346555514181913874?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 38 – Not wanting to let people down #journal#mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake is in over committing myself because I don’t want to let the people down I join an online support group gathering this morning and I join mainly because it’s a new group and it’s a first meet up and having as many people attend as possible helps to get the group going I know the group organiser so I joined mainly to boost the numbers knowing that I can’t make it every Friday morning for this weekly gathering the meeting went well and at the end everybody was saying that they look forward to seeing each other in next week’s meet up I had the chance to say that I won’t be there but I didn’t and now as I reviewed episode I think I didn’t want to disappoint them so in my head I thought I would adjust my schedule to be able to make it but on reflection that’s just hubris on my part to believe that they must have me to have a good gathering I should give the group the respect to be honest that I can’t reliably attend so that they can adjust around it it also give a proper respect to other people I’ve given commitments to that I don’t mess them around for another commitment that I can’t fulfill so I’ll contact the group tomorrow and I’ll keep better watch over similar situations like this in the future thanks for joining me

Date: 2024-03-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346501235396070674?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 161 – Psychiatrists and Psychologists

today I’m grateful for psychiatrists and psychologists who support me big part of why I have a good life for a long time is from getting consistent professional help for my mental health I’m at my psychiatrist’s clinic and I’ve just completed my review and I booked in for my next one in 12 months do you know that it takes at least eight to 10 years of training after high school to be a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist in in Australia I don’t see the point of me paying all that taxes in part to fund all these high skilled professionals to get educated and get the skills they get and then not use them there’s been times in my past when I was so low that my therapists have helped me significantly to get better and now that I’m healthy it is even more essential for me to keep up with getting help to maintain my health as my psychologist once said the 120 dollars of Medicare public funding is much better spent on me for an hour of consultation when I’m healthy and can listen to him and act on small problems than to spend it on me when I’m not healthy and have so many problems I can’t listen to him I won’t act on what he says anyway so I’m grateful for our health system that provides support from professionals in mental health

Date: 2024-03-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7346499247560281362?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 261 – my fridge door

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Date: 2024-03-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346172758998535432?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 37 Lost in emotions #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake I want to review is getting lost in an emotional exchange during a conversation you know the type of conversation where you come out of it feeling overwhelmed where it takes a while to settle down I had one of those and as I settle down I can’t really recall what happened only I have very vivid image of what the other person said and did and I feel most of what the other person said and did was wrong and the red flag for me when this happens is that I don’t have the same vivid image of myself of what I did and what I said that means I was flooded by emotions and the rational cognitive part of my brain was not the one that was conducting the conversation so this was a afternoon tea today the conversation was in a group with a mixture of people somebody well somebody just met so I got onto talking to a person beside me whom I didn’t know well and we drifted into the topic of kindness of people online um and then my memory of it is quite vague so in a situation like this I is useful to get some information from people who are the party observers so I did I talked to my friend who was there and my friend said he didn’t really notice much so that’s a good sign at least we weren’t abusing each other he said so my friend said that it was just at moments he thought we were both worked up still even though my friend was paint a picture that it wasn’t really that big a problem in terms of behaviour the fact I’m still feeling the effects of it this 6 hours later means that something is processing for me so just reflecting and thinking about what might have triggered those emotions here I think I identify quite a few things there were things that we said that triggered past negative memories you know old frustrations past exchanges with people close to me who were that were difficult so I identified a lot of things it’s good to be aware of how a simple conversation can trigger so many things and also coincidentally based on what I can gather now I it looks like I triggered some things in the other guy too we were probably talking to ourselves dealing with our own issues rather than having a genuine conversation with each other funnily enough the topic that we drifted into was about kindness and I don’t think I was kind to myself I don’t think I was kind to the other person that I spoke to so they there may be an opportunity to do some repair if I see the other person again I may not and he may not be bothered by it regardless I find it useful processing this and getting myself settled then finding some ways to approach topic better in the future and I found my conversation with my friend about what happened to be useful and and relationship building and that’s what he said too so I hope this sharing is useful for you too and I’ll see you in the next video

Date: 2024-03-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7346135804567162120?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 160 – My sewing kit #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for my sewing kit I have a small tear in my pants that I’m repairing my kit is very basic but it has what I need it’s amazing that a tool like needle and thread has been around for centuries and is still an important part of contemporary life I’m grateful when I look around me and I see these tools and technology like the sewing kit or dishes or tables and chairs and walls brick walls and floorboards and glass and fabric all these things has given us a stable lifestyle for such a long time and we as a civilisation is not as volatile as a minority in the digital technology space makes it out to be I love digital technology it’s how I’m talking to you now I love the possibilities and luxuries it offers but I’m grateful that all the all those luxuries are not what makes my life valuable and worthwhile

Date: 2024-03-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7346134576894446866?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 260 – my favorite fruit

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Date: 2024-03-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7345787268831005970?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 36 Death scrolling #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake I made was falling into the trap of death scrolling on my phone I had something to do on my phone this afternoon and I lost myself on social media chasing screen after one screen after another and before I knew it a couple of hours had gone past most times when I lose some free time to social media I don’t beat myself up too much about it it’s like watching some mindless TV for distraction but this afternoon’s event is worth a review and an adjustment to my routine because I put aside that few hours specifically to come up with some future video content ideas I knew that the temptation to death scroll was there but I fell into the trap anyway I know myself and I know it’s not reasonable for me to resist death scrolling base purely on willpower alone so I usually engineer things to keep me on track like doing it with other people or or I would have my notebook beside me with written task to complete or I would have electronic alarms and reminders this time I scheduled the time in without putting those elements to keep myself the chance to stay focused so it was a planning mistake and I’ll adjust in my future planning putting it in perspective though I did snap myself out of it because I needed to move on to my next meeting so the overall schedule of the day did work to keep me on track it’s a matter of refining my planning further so now it’s night it’s time to wrap up and especially not to have my phone available I’ll lose even more time so see you in tomorrow’s video

Date: 2024-03-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7345784723957878024?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 159 – A good night’s sleep #journal #gratitude

tonight I’m grateful for a good night sleep you know when I was younger I used to have these grand ideas about what it takes to be happy that I do great work go to wonderful places and meet amazing people now I realise that happiness is just the simple things including a good night’s sleep a lot of times big trouble just don’t seem to be that big after a good night’s sleep and good things in life turn amazing if we fall asleep thinking about them and they’re the first thing we think about when we wake up so it’s time for me to put away my phone and start my bedtime routine I wish you a good sleep too and I wish you that you can find gratitude in your sleep

Date: 2024-03-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7345783662593445128?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 259 – bedtime routine

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Date: 2024-03-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7345458422025899282?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 35 Is that a mistake? #journal #mistakes#gratitude

Date: 2024-03-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7345439361942572306?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 158 – Breeze #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the breeze you know you really can’t see the breeze but you can tell it’s there by the way it interacts with things around you like leaves some of the best things about us human beings are like that we can’t really see it but we can tell from the way that we interact with the world things like love and hope friendship family appreciate all those things that we can’t see but you can tell us there by the way we interact with the world

Date: 2024-03-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7345438643730795783?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 259 Coming home through my front door.

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Date: 2024-03-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7345071101036203272?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 157 Mistake Journal Day 34 Monkey Brain #journal#gratitude #mistakes

this journal entry is about gratitude and about mistakes this morning I was at an event in the Brisbane city it was the Annual Faith Service for the legal profession and for the judiciary in Queensland it is to welcome and pray for the beginning of the law year so as this was in my church all of us in the church had our roles to play and I was uh doing the controls for the audio when the event started I started make a couple of small mistakes simple things like turning on mics a few seconds too late or or having a mic slightly too loud and so on and my mind started to play tricks and I started second guess my decisions and not trusting my own knowledge about equipment and mistakes started to compound and I started feel like people are annoyed and people are watching and because these are very specific set of people in the legal profession I started off think having distorted and anxious thoughts about getting in legal trouble for messing up the event and saw myself in court with these judges that was I was seeing in front of me and so on so this the first thing I want to share with you how sometimes mistakes goes into this reinforcement loop and creates a very biassed and distorted spiral and and creates a very stressful reality so the thing that got me out of it was that I have a routine practice of gratitude that can call on and I was able to find gratitude in sharing an event with a lot of people who was organising the event that I work closely with and I was grateful that there are some very busy people in the legal profession the the Chief Justice or the judges barristers solicitors court officers they all see it useful to get together for some peace and prayer to mark the beginning of the year I was grateful for that and I was grateful to see the faces of these people you know all dressed up in their full robes that they usually wear in court but I saw faces of people who have families people who were sharing a joke with their colleagues sitting beside them people who paid attention when the speaker was talking about compassion so these were faces of everyday people sharing event and I saw a community and I felt much better after that I have to say my mistakes didn’t all go away but the stress wasn’t there and when I was able to see things objectively it didn’t look like anybody cared about these mistakes here and there with the audio so there you go that was my day and and this is my practice of gratitude and my processing of my mistakes I encourage you to have a routine practice of gratitude it may be useful for you too thank you for sharing this with me

Date: 2024-03-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344967280855469330?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 257 – Lunch

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Date: 2024-03-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344711437501091080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 33 Apps for control #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Mistake Journal Day 33 Today’s entry is about the use of tools especially apps that we have available at our fingertips at all times on our phones I was walking with a friend this morning under a cloudy sky Brisbane was overcast today my friend had a family event in the park in the afternoon and he was telling me about the uncertainty of rain affecting that event so trying to help by suggested using the Bureau of Meteorology’s app to look at the rain radar images it will give a really accurate information about what the rain situation is in the next few hours to my surprise though he just said that’s alright whatever happens we’ll be fine so my first thought when I heard that was it was a mistake to not look it up why wouldn’t you… not look it up when the information is there and it only takes a moment but anyway it was his life and his decision so I let him be the reason why I’m recording this is because this stayed in my mind and I thought about it if he’s a reckless person and you know always makes messy arrangements then probably I would I wouldn’t have thought about it but my friend lives a good life he’s mostly happy and things work for him so I’ve seen him do this before leave these uncertainty lying around and rely on his capacity his decision making his his relationships with people to resolve problems when they arise the central observation I have of him is that he doesn’t try to control and he accepts better than most people that he cannot control things to me life seem to work for him because he doesn’t try to control things so it got me to think maybe it’s a mistake for me to be constantly using the apps when they’re available I can definitely control the world better with weather forecast and GPS navigation and timetables and health trackers performance analytics and the the list is endless but what price am I paying for constantly keeping up so I think the next time I have a casual picnic or some other thing in the park I’m not going to look up what the weather forecast is saying and instead spend time on more important things like having a good conversation with a friend or having a knife or walk I think that will be a good thing I’ll see you in my next entry

Date: 2024-03-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344685616552103176?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 156 – Names #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the name I’m called or names to be more precise because I’m called different names by different people in different languages and dialects and in different professional and social settings I value those names because they hold the history of my relationships with people when my mum calls my name it is the same name she called me every time we have been together since I was born when I think of my loved ones there is a name I tie all my memories with the person to and when I describe to my children all my different names I’m evoking memories of relationships with different people my dad who passed away a few years ago still walks alongside me because I can hear him call my name and I can still call him Pa the name I knew him by I’m grateful that names can mean so much

Date: 2024-03-10
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344678219351739655?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMILE DAY 256 – Wild Birds

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Date: 2024-03-09
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344364588940496146?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 32 Craming in lunch #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake to reflect on is trying to cram something into a schedule when I didn’t have the time for it I arrived early this morning to a doctor’s appointment so I went to a nearby restaurant to have an early lunch I had 20 minutes uh which I knew was not enough also it was obvious from the number of people waiting that I wouldn’t get my meal in time I asked the waiter whether I can have my meal done in time and I got a very unconvincing yes which on reflection I knew was not true in the end I had to leave the meal behind so I wouldn’t be late for my GP appointment the lesson for me to learn in this is not to rely on a waiter to guess how busy the kitchen might be and in recognising how I deluded myself into thinking something is possible when at all the signs saying that it was not is good to have a better this better understanding of my own tendencies um because this has happened in past anyway when I came home after the appointment I made a full mistake by making myself a better sandwich lunch thanks for sharing this reflection I’ll see you tomorrow

Date: 2024-03-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344271032833953042?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 155 – casual weekends #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for casual weekends having a quiet moment here with my coffee on a Saturday afternoon just mowed the lawn and in the moment I’ll head up to watch the movie Dune Part 2 I’m looking forward to that I need periods like this where my energy levels brought down low and many things in my body and my mind can consolidate and can settle I also have to say I’m grateful that technology and platforms allows us to share moments like this to a wider community I mean even though in effect most of you that watching this video are strangers it is relaxing it’s nourishing to share it’s to me like watching a sunset on a beach where there are passers by and I can share a smile and a greeting with people who are passing by before we move on with our own lives I’m grateful you’re sharing today sunset with me

Date: 2024-03-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7344267887063960850?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 255 – casual afternoons

Date: 2024-03-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7344001841715285266?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 31 PERSISTENCE #journal #mistakes #gratitude

thanks for joining me on yet another entry in my mistake journal today is day 31 and truthfully is getting to be quite a chore and challenge for those of you who follow my entries you’ll be aware that they aren’t filled with any excitement or glamour they’re just mundane everyday stuff I believe in reflecting on those to build a solid resilient foundation for managing mistakes so 30 days ago I started this new journaling ritual now I’m at a point that similar to what a marathon runner would encounter called hitting the wall is a phase where that it happens in the development of any new habit this mental barrier comes up and the voice in my head that starts saying I’ve done enough and there’re better use of my time what’s the point in continuing but my experience in forming new habits have taught me that when the mind comes lethargic like this and it urges me to stop that’s the time to persevere it’s a critical moment and a test of determination it’s signalling that breakthrough is just around the corner so like a marathon runner who has choice to stop running and start walking they know the moment they start walking it becomes order it becomes orders of magnitude much harder to start running again so I’m choosing to push forward not just for forming the habit itself but also for what the discipline actually represents I want to get to day 131 and 331 as a testament to the power of persistence so as I continue doing this I invite you to reflect on your own habits and the walls that you hit remember that the most significant progress comes after the greatest resistance so thank you for being part of this journey let’s see what tomorrow brings

Date: 2024-03-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7343936275197480199?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 154 – life philosophy #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the four pillars of life philosophy that grounds me and gives me peace that’s balance harmony gratitude and humility they are the compass during my challenging times that tells me where to go

Date: 2024-03-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7343935421790833927?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 254 – Chinese calligraphy

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Date: 2024-03-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7343632280700669202?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 30 Covering up mistakes #journal #mistakes#gratitude

this is mistake Journal Day 30 Today’s entry is about covering up mistakes this afternoon I picked up my kids from school and coinciding with that I was passing some documents to someone at the same time I arrived early and realised I made a mistake forgetting to bring the documents because I was early I had a choice to make do I rush home to get the documents or do I tell the person I will hand them to her tomorrow all rational thought said that I should tell her that I’ll give her the documents tomorrow because the rush home would mean speeding in traffic I probably won’t make it back in time when the kids come out of class which means I have to inconvenience another parent to watch over them or have the kids sent to after school care and then I pick them up from there I don’t believe the person needed the documents urgently so it all makes sense to do it tomorrow however all of my emotions were driving me towards rushing home and getting the documents and it was purely because I wanted to cover up the fact that I forgot I have forgotten in the past and I feel embarrassed having to tell the same people I’ve done it again it was emotionally challenging but I did end up doing the rational thing and not rush home and basically that would have compounded one mistake by probably making another I thought it’s a good example to share with you because a lot of times I do find a lot of decisions I make and the decisions made by people around me are for covering up mistakes as with previous entries in this mistake journal it’s important for us to process the feelings around mistakes so that we are comfortable sitting with those mistakes and they don’t drive us to try and cover them up and compounding mistake with more silly actions fostering a mistake welcoming community helps with that I appreciate you sharing this moment with me and I hope it is useful for you

Date: 2024-03-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7343512513356516615?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 153 – Simple things in life #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the simple things in life I just finished a video review of this book about the secrets to longevity among people in Okinawa Japan where there’s an unusual proportion of people living over 100 years old it struck me how long life distills down to very simple things in life eat well sleep well exercise play connect with family and friends I’m grateful that secrets to long and happy life is within our reach

Date: 2024-03-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7343512251279625479?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 253 – a simple life

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Date: 2024-03-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7343227425884474632?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 29 Managing energy #journal #mistakes #gratitude

It’s Mistake Journal Day 29 Today’s mistake is in organising a series of discussions workshops and meetings that left me quite drained at the end sometimes I fall into this trap of scheduling my activities based on availability of people rather than the more important criteria of maintaining energy some activities drain cognitive and emotional energy and some replenish that energy it’s a mistake for me to do like today to not have that balance and organise too many energy draining ones without chance to replenish I end up having a lot less to give the group at the end compared to at the beginning I’m reminded of how good teachers and schools organise their class schedules based on kids normal states of being fresh at the beginning of day and tired at the end of their day It’s something I forget and believe I have superpowers and can sustain performance regardless of the schedule That’s something to correct tomorrow one good thing about mistakes like this is that you can be corrected with some good rest so as much as it is energy replenishing for me to share with you people on TikTok it’s uh 10:30 and it’s time to sleep goodnight

Date: 2024-03-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7343214975063706888?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @gratitudepractice Gratitude Day 152 – Emojis ans Emoticons #journal #gratitude

A shout out to my friend at Gratitude Practice, who reminds me that emojis is worth being grateful for. I’m an emoticon person myself, but I’m grateful at how emojis and emoticons gives us capacity to communicate in ways beyond conventional language.

Date: 2024-03-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7343214477157928199?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 252 – markets

Date: 2024-03-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342884659107269896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 28 Mistake or Opportunity #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today I had an interesting experience with mistake that I like to share with you it shows what I believe to be two distinct responses that commonly rise when something unexpected happens in a meeting today I reported on a topic that some of my colleagues wasn’t expecting there was misunderstanding between us as to what topic was supposed to cover are two possible ways of looking at this is one is we have fixed goal to reach and this is a we need the right report in order to get there second one is that an expected report gives us new opportunities gives us new challenges and takes us in exciting new uh uh new future so the best approached mistake I find is that we are able to determine which one of these were dealing with how we trying to reach a fixed goal in which case we need to fix a mistake in order to get to to that goal or is it that we’re open to having these unexpected things happen for these new exciting directions and generally also if we’re in the meeting as it happens today different people have different views of these unexpected things like uh reports and so is being conscious that whatever our views are whatever my view happens to be then other people have a different ones as well so in this meeting you know we trash it out and then we determine that we do want to stick to the direction that we want to go to and then we can park the report and and have that process in the future and we’re able to get to that because we recognise that different people have different perspectives on these unexpected sometimes mistakes sometimes new opportunities I hope you find that perspective useful

Date: 2024-03-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342805271376432392?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 151 Local Businesses #journal #gratitude

I’m just passing by the great Australian local icon the Yatala Pie Shop today I’m grateful for great local businesses like this that has endured for over 130 years it’s enduring presence showcases local traditions and cuisines its pies continue to bring together families communities and travellers here in Queensland it’s a testimonial for the local people who has worked so hard for over a century to keep traditions like this alive

Date: 2024-03-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7342804042998942994?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 251 – pies

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Date: 2024-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342482998169816338?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 27 Apple watch #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake in my mistake journal is a rather embarrassing one especially for me being an it professional for many years I woke up and my Apple Watch wouldn’t turn off my first thought was that’s okay apple has a pretty good warranty and I have warranty on it and its warranty claims process is pretty efficient so I got onto the apple website uh click through to support the system asked me a few simple questions and then offered to replace it within by the next business day it also offered me a chat session with a technician and I thought why not first thing the technician asked me to do was to reset the watch which is you know hold the two buttons on the side and then press one button to start it I knew as I was doing that that is going to get embarrassing because I haven’t even tried that so lo and behold the watch powered on luckily the technician was on chat and didn’t see the egg on my face anyway what’s the lesson from this so the lesson is that sometimes when support or somebody is available to help and it’s so easy to rely on them that I get lazy and don’t even try solving the problem myself this is a good lesson to remind myself that I have problem solving capacity of some kind and to use it I hope you get something from this embarrassing episode

Date: 2024-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342470594190920967?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 150 Books #journal #gratitude

I’m grateful for books physical books that I can hold so much of the joy of reading is being able to run our fingers over paper flipping through the pages holding on to the book and snuggling up to a cosy chair or bed I’m grateful that with all the choices that ebooks have brought us it has only fueled our appreciation for physical books

Date: 2024-03-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7342469880802823442?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
smile day 250 – books

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Date: 2024-03-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342067633426042130?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 26 Taking on too much #journal #mistakes#gratitude

just sharing with you a review of a mistake I made today so today being a Sunday I took on way too much and um and I wasn’t able to complete a lot of the things that I wanted to do mainly because it’s a Sunday and I needed to have time to rest and to have downtime so the lesson that um to learn from this is to be more realistic at the beginning of the day as to what I can achieve and to let other things go then then thinking about the support for this mistake that that I made today this is an interesting one that I think I’ll talk a lot more about in my future journal entries it’s interesting that with this mistake I feel like I’m the one as an individual to that needs to adjust for it I’m the one that made a mistake and if I need to be the one to be responsible for it and adjust for it and it’s interesting for me that I feel that I’m quite a communal person and um and but even for me most times when things happen I am… I don’t I’m not inclined to share it and I try to take it on myself and so therefore all of the things get put on my own shoulder so it’s interesting that when we encounter mistakes just how much we don’t rely on the support that’s available and to share that around so that adjustments and the processing of it is done um in a family or in a group or in friends and uh in the in the communal sense so uh next thing is having some perspective on that mistake so I thought was good for me to have identified that that that’s what I did um and to recall that I do that quite often and to adjust for it in the in the future so what feelings I have about it the I feel disappointed in myself that I’m not Superman I can do the many things that I wanted to set myself so that’s a bit of a hit to the the ego and that’s something to to process and for it to sit with me so that I can get myself comfortable with it and not have this unrealistic expectation for myself and so the last thing think about is for tomorrow so I look forward to tomorrow and especially to next weekend when if I do my adjustments appropriately then I would have a lower level of stress and more enjoyable a weekend and especially on a Sunday so thank you for sharing today’s Mistake Journal entry with me

Date: 2024-03-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7342027048447266056?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 149 Kitchens #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for kitchens I know it’s a bit of a mess right now but the dirty dishes and the mess means that the normal things with kitchen is happening the food and the nutrition hydration the sharing conversations connections all those things are things to be grateful for and now if only my gratitude journal would wash dishes

Date: 2024-03-03
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7342026211536686354?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 249 – cooking

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Date: 2024-03-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7341738969111072007?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 25 A Guide on Processing Mistakes #journal#mistakes #gratitude

in this video I’m going to show you a guide on processing mistakes that you might find helpful this is day 25 in my mistakes journal and today is a significant day forward for me in my journey to improve the way that I process mistakes after a few weeks of consistently doing daily reflection on on my mistakes I’ve started to feel like something is coming together and the reflections are not just random thoughts here and there this morning my kids and I had a family brainstorm on this idea of acting on mistakes and here’s the board with all the ideas that we put down and what I’m going to do is to now transform this ideas into themes and then to write them down on this butcher paper and put those butcher paper around the house I’ll show you what I mean when I’m done I ended up with seven themes so it starts at the beginning of the day with a preview about what risk I might take what might go wrong and what growth might come from the from the mistakes and then leading from that the very important question of support who is going to support me throughout the day and to be able to lean on them at the end of day then there’s a review of what happened what didn’t go according to plan and from there we look at the lessons that we learnt what are the learning points are from that from the mistakes and reiterating then the support who stood by us throughout that day and as I do the review there’s also having a sense of perspective what is the silver lining what good came out the mistake and also we look at our feelings the very important thing of reviewing our emotions that surrounds the mistake and doing it with kindness and with understanding and the final theme is to look forward to tomorrow what adjustments will I make and what inspires me to look forward to tomorrow in spite of the mistakes that happened today so that will be my guide I will do my reflections based on one or more of those prompts and some of them may not work out and that’s okay I’ll change and improve them as I go it is the boring act of doing it everyday to give my mindset a chance to improve and for my reflections to get better let’s see what it takes me there are two things that my family do consistently that I feel give us the quality of life we have the first one is that we find smiles and laughter in everything that we do and the second one is we do our gratitude and these are mental muscles to be exercise everyday and we do them together and now we’ll try to do them for processing mistakes what about you would you like to do some of these reflection yourself on your mistakes so the best is for you to do it with your loved ones and to do it daily maybe you can share whether reflections makes a difference for you so I appreciate you sharing bits of my journey and I will see you in the next video

Date: 2024-03-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7341688481233653000?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 148 Family Photos #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for photographs here are my family photos here are ones from my grandparents from a long time ago whom I miss very much photographs reminds me of important events and places and especially people from my past they give me comfort they tell me who I am and when I stand back and I look at them I can hear those voices from the past telling me to go and get the photos that are not here yet to join them on the shelf to go out and get as amazing set of photos as I can from the life I still have to live so they inspire me to go and live the rest of my life to the fullest

Date: 2024-03-02
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7341685717627653394?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 248- family photos

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Date: 2024-03-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7341385971323243784?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 24 Nightly review #journal #mistakes #gratitude
one of the purpose of journaling mistakes is so I don’t carry them with me to sleep this is day 24 of my mistake journal and one thing I haven’t done at the end of every day was to review and see what positives the addressing the mistakes that brought to my life and to celebrate the growth and the improvements and have sleep a bit more peaceful than if I had not let the mistakes go this is the moment for me to do it today I needlessly brought myself into a dispute that I didn’t need to be in but I recognised it and I stepped away now it’s time to let that mistake go I’ll be better tomorrow for what I went through today and tomorrow will be a better day because of it thanks for sharing today’s entry with me

Date: 2024-03-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7341345164406967559?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 147 Sharing tears #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for people crying at meetings I was at a meeting yesterday evening when a retiring chairperson shed a tear when closing her last meeting after years of service the rest of the meeting attendees gave her the space and comfort for that moment of emotions some people believe that emotions have no place in formal meetings that it somehow reflects poorly on a person’s capacity I’ve made a mistake of believing that myself in the past now my years have taught me that it’s unfortunate most of us wait until funerals to cry and to share our emotions everybody cries it is just that a few of us have safe places to shed tears and even fewer of us have safe people to share tears with I’m grateful when people can share tears

Date: 2024-03-01
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7341329142027209991?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 247 – music

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Date: 2024-02-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340931693609536775?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 23 Too many shoes #journal #mistakes #gratitude

welcome to another entry in my journal of mistakes also now looking like the journal on the comedy of errors with my shoe shopping so yesterday I told you about going to buy shoes for my kids and then having some problems with laces which I’ve solved and so as I was going to put the shoes away look what I found shoes for the kids what I now remember is that six months ago in anticipation of the kids growing out of their shoe size I went and bought the larger sizes in advance what the mistake I made was relying on my memory to remember that I have these these shoes my memory is not good it’s never been good and I’ve learnt through the years especially through the use of technology to externalise everything I need to remember through calendar entries through notes through reminders and choosing to live a life that has a lot of variety which is the life that I’ve chosen to to have and also having managed a lot of really complex projects It is never a good idea to rely on memory to remember everything we need to remember so in this case what I think has happened thinking back is that I originally put the shoe box next to our shoe rack which is where it’s supposed to be and should have reminded me but as time went by and the boxes became the hindrance It started to move further and further away until it ended up in the garage so the it shouldn’t be a problem because the shoe hasn’t been worn except just to try them on and so I should be able to return them which then brings me back to yesterday’s mistake when I was talking about because of this minor issue with the laces that I was going to have pick a fight with the store this now emphasizes the point that it’s always good to preserve relationships and not go to war over minor things that can be resolved in other ways so anyway I hope you enjoy my trial and tribulations and the adventures of my shoe shopping I’ll see you again in tomorrow’s entry hopefully not about shoes

Date: 2024-02-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340912060156349704?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 146 Cat videos #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for cat videos I think there’s a recognition that cats are the unofficial mascot of the internet I enjoy how cute the videos are and even though I’m a fish owner not a cat owner I enjoy watching the dedication of all these cat owners for their pets I can remember the early days of the internet when cat images started showing up in bulletin boards and emails and all of us were wondering what in the world’s going on so cats have obviously taken over the online world since then and considering all the other possible dubious negative content can take over the internet I’m glad a lot of them are in a sense held back by the volume of cat videos

Date: 2024-02-29
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7340908164209986823?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 246 – pet rocks

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Date: 2024-02-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340594215027559698?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 22 Solving problems from mistakes #journal#mistakes #gratitude

I share with you an interesting problem I just discovered just came back from shoe shopping and one of the things I bought in that shopping is this is a self tying lace is very useful for kids like my younger one who is just learning to tie laces and building up his finger muscles for it the mistake though is that in this packet with the laces there’s only one of them and I have two shoes now what is the thoughts and emotions that’s going through me right now so the there are two sets of thoughts that goes in my head the first one is how stupid of the salesperson to sell me one pair of shoes but only one lace she should have known better and I shouldn’t have to deal with this the second thought I have is around how stupid I am that I didn’t check the packet before uh before leaving and before buying it and now I have to deal with this um this mistake that I created so so those two are thoughts and emotions around blame and the surround opinions I have of the salesperson and opinions of myself I’m going to park that thought and stand back and think about the actual problem that’s created by mistake so the problem that’s created by mistake is two shoe one lace and the solutions there’s only a handful I go back to that store to get the lace I go to another store to find a matching lace I go online and buy a set of laces they’re only those sets and the those solutions are quite straightforward now I find it interesting reflecting about this with you because I want to compare the problem shoe laces and buying laces with the problem that my thoughts and emotions created my thoughts and emotions created this problem of a stupid salesman or stupid me and for me to solve those problems would mean I need to pick fights with the store or with myself or with people around me because who doesn’t agree that this whole thing is ridiculous so those problems are not solvable and as I think you would realize I’m going to go ahead and deal with the problem that risen and get those laces and those other funny funny ones as created by my thoughts and emotions I’m going to let it sit and that fade so I hope you find that reflection helpful to identify the difference between problems arising out of mistake the actual problems versus the problems created by my head those funny funny ones that is here okay see you in tomorrow’s mistake entry

Date: 2024-02-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340592951195667730?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Replying to @coffeegirl456 Gratitude Day 145 Kind comments #journal#gratitude

today I wanna express my gratitude to all of you who put kind comments like this one in my videos I really appreciate it that you take the time to share positive thoughts and lift this poor little social media content creator who does silly little videos thank you I wanna point out though that comments like this that you make that I make you smile well I can’t and I didn’t make you do anything the smile is always in you and you’re the one who brought it out I just happen to be lucky enough to trigger something for you to bring that out if my videos are worth anything it is perhaps to remind you to trust in your own capacity to look and find this person in you that smiles

Date: 2024-02-28
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7340592365779897618?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 245 – my favorite shoes

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Date: 2024-02-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340204168214236424?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 21 – Mistake as relationship building #journal#mistakes #gratitude

this entry is a review of the actions I took after my mistake from a week ago last week I journalled about the mistake I made that caused me to be late opening up my church hall for a community group meeting so I made some adjustments to my routine this morning so I get here early enough and it’s worked something I learnt is that the freeways are congested in Brisbane from 6:00am in the morning and last week wasn’t just a once off so it’s useful to know that there’s still some confusion over who holds the right key but I’ll sort that out too so people are happy that the mistake didn’t happen again but more than that that the correction of the mistake made our relationship stronger that’s something I consistently find with people that they don’t mind mistakes when those mistakes are recognized and corrected and people are generally happier we’re closer than before because they have to trust that I’ll act on my mistakes I see mistakes and corrections as a relationship building exercise and generally a happy one when everybody is open to it anyway I’ll see you in tomorrow’s entry

Date: 2024-02-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7340202687058693383?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 144 – Likes/Comments/Favourites/Shares #journal#gratitude

today I’m grateful for these the engagement buttons the like comment favourites and shares they give very immediate feedback as to how people are responding to what I’m saying I remember when I was a university lecturer and turning up to give a lecture the only thing I can go on is to whether I’m making any connection are those subjective looks of two to 300 student faces or have to talk to a lot of students afterwards to find out their comments or worse yet have to wait till the end of semester surveys all of which are very vague as to what’s working and what’s not working in terms of what I’m trying to communicate now with these engagement metrics they’re not totally accurate and I still have to do a lot of direct communication with people to understand what numbers mean but the numbers themselves are leaps and bounds better than relying on my very subjective interpretation of few hundred faces I’m grateful how it helps me in my connection to people

Date: 2024-02-27
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7340198122825600263?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 244 – student crafts

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Date: 2024-02-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339824799440538888?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 20 Mistakes and risk taking #journal #mistakes#gratitude

Date: 2024-02-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339822694004788487?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 143 – Coffee #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for coffee I’m grateful at how many difficult relationship issues either personal or professional has been resolved over a cup of these

Date: 2024-02-26
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7339821722389974290?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 243 – Cafes

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Date: 2024-02-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339418972426685704?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 19 Self-fulfilling mistakes #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake journal entry to share with you is the same as my gratitude journal entry which is that I got lost going to lunch today the reason I got lost was that I was driving and navigating by sight instead of using the navigation system have this terrible sense of direction I’ve had experience in a past overseas where I drove for over an hour going in the wrong direction hundred eighty degrees the wrong direction before I realised anyway so be careful if you’re in the car with me so these days with GPS that’s not a big problem but today I thought I knew where I was going but I didn’t so the consequences were that me and my family who was visiting we were late for a scheduled lunch so the upside though is that we explored where we ended up and stopped and found new spots and sights in this uh seaside suburb that we otherwise would not have found I like getting lost in discovering things I think the main point I wanna share is that this attribute about mistakes that I find again and again that is whether mistake is good or bad is self-fulfilling in the sense that if I handle a mistake is a bad thing then things turn invariably bad but if I handle the mistake as if it’s a good thing it turns out good the way I act on it this the way it turns out it’s funny like that

Date: 2024-02-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339410838874262802?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 142 – Getting Lost #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for getting lost it is when I get lost that I work out where I really wanna go do I really wanna go there do I really wanna go see the people I’m going to see or would I rather stay lost explore a little bit and enjoy the company of the people I’m already with I’m with family on the beachside town of Wynnum outside Brisbane I’m supposed to be 10K further south at Wellington point you can see there in a distance I think we’ll stay lost for a little bit just explore a little bit it’s good

Date: 2024-02-25
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7339409014725299464?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 242 – the sea

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Date: 2024-02-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339159335358024978?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 18 Procrastination #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake that I wanna share is about procrastination that’s a mistake that’s very common for me and happens to some degree everyday the thing I’m talking about tonight is about this set of old toys that the kids have grown out of and I’ve been meaning to donate it but I keep procrastinating so I have to sort through it to separate the ones to keep and ones to give away and one of reasons I can procrastinate is because there are no consequences so I’ve taken a step to put some consequences in I called a moment ago the church that I’m been planning to donate this to and I’ve set a time to meet them in a couple of days and bring the stuff in so that’s a deadline and some accountability that will ensure that I get a move on

Date: 2024-02-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7339070088546372882?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 141 – Balloons #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for balloons it’s amazing just how something made up mostly of nothing can create so many giggles and laughter at parties it boggles the mind just who invented the thing and what was going through their minds when they invented it let me know if you know

Date: 2024-02-24
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7339069373522431239?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 241 – Balloons

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Date: 2024-02-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7338796132161637640?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 17 Kindness for my own needs #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake I wanna share is crossing the line between being kind help somebody to being kind for my own needs someone was late to a zoom meeting I was on and I follow my natural instincts to downplay the lateness so person wouldn’t feel bad by saying that all of us who turned out was flexible with our time we had a nice chat while waiting there was no harm done and so on but the more that I did that the more apologetic she became which didn’t let me to double down and try even harder to convince her it was not a big deal so we went down that rabbit hole for a while before stopped and moved on when I reflect on that I think I cross from being polite and kind for her lateness which is a good thing to needing to save her from embarrassment which is more my own knees than hers I should have stopped at one attempt because how a person feels is their own responsibility it’s not within my control Succumbing to my own need to be a hero of some kind doesn’t help the improvement I can see for the future is to be aware more be more aware of my need to do that and not put my needs into these common exchanges it’s important for me to maintain some basic kindness in communication but to watch out for that slip into something negative see you in the next entry

Date: 2024-02-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7338712637846326535?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 140 – Podcasts #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for podcasts I’m in the middle of recording a series now on student life I’m grateful at how podcast enrich our lives in so many different ways from being entertainment to giving us knowledge to being inspirational it gives us some companionship during times when we’re a bit lonely and it broadens our understanding from different perspectives from many different people

Date: 2024-02-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7338711805612526856?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 240 – Podcasts

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Date: 2024-02-23
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7338391237407329554?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 16 The emotions of making mistakes #journal#mistakes #gratitude

Date: 2024-02-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7338376959786798344?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 139 – Traditional Ethnic Food #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for traditional ethnic food here are some traditional southern Chinese barbecue meats I’m grateful that they fill our tummies that they bring families together and that they carry the flavours and traditions of cultures and traditional ethnic groups

Date: 2024-02-22
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7338375980366548231?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 239 – Food

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Date: 2024-02-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337982287868349714?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 15 Not showing appreciation #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake I want to share with you is not showing appreciation when I had the chance today somebody I worked with was retiring I went to her farewell lunch many people got up to say thanks to her for her contributions and so did I at the end of the lunch she came and thank me in return for what I said about her that she didn’t know I appreciated her work I thought she knew I realised when I heard her say that that so many opportunities to show appreciation had gone by and it only takes a moment to stop and say thank you properly but obviously I didn’t so I’m wondering how many people I appreciate who don’t know I appreciate them that’s a review that’s useful for me to do and also to be conscious to stop and moments with things end to say thank you properly for those people who make things happen I think it would be a shame if people around me only get a proper thank you at their retirement parties

Date: 2024-02-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337980978968694023?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 138 – Books Chinese saying: 书中自有黄金屋 #journal#gratitude

my gratitude today is for books in Chinese we have a saying in every book is a golden palace of our dreams at least that’s how I translate it my parents always tell this story that when I was little they would take all of us kids to the bookstore and when it’s time to leave I invariably will not be nowhere to be found and have do this sweep of the whole bookstore to find which corner I’ve hidden myself in with my stack of books I’m still grateful today that I can immerse myself in my books and still be amazed at all those golden palaces that I find

Date: 2024-02-21
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7337979089912892680?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 238 – bookstores

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Date: 2024-02-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337610822417485064?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 14 – Showing up late #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake is getting in late to open a community hall it is 6:30am and I’ve just opened a community hall in the city for a support group meeting and this is a new schedule time and this is the first time I’m doing this early opening I made a mistake of not anticipating the heavy traffic into the city this early in the morning so I got here late and the consequences is that uh quite a few people had to wait for me they’re all very nice about it I still need to take responsibility though and I’ll set off earlier the next time the main lesson for me is that there are changes to routine that periodically happens and most of these changes we can I can adjust to ad box but some like today involves impact many people I need to be more deliberate in planning and having backups to ensure that the change happens and I recognise a constant challenge in life is to be able to spot these important ones versus the ad hoc ones but I’ll improve next time

Date: 2024-02-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337609032053689618?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 137 – Tone and Contrast #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for tone and contrast how interesting light is in the world around us and how it plays those tricks and and enchants our eyes imagine how boring life would be it was all one tone

Date: 2024-02-20
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7337607967841209607?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 237 – colours

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Date: 2024-02-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337202002075618567?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 13 – Taylor Swift Eras tour #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake is telling someone not to fly thousands of kilometers to attend a Taylor Swift concert just learn today never to do that ever

Date: 2024-02-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7337200945266281735?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 136 – Inner child’s voice #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for my inner child’s voice the voice from me when I was a 5 year old that stayed with me into adulthood that voice tells me to play to laugh to attach and to love like he did he guides me on how to keep happy but that voice sometimes also brings me pain like when he reminds me of people who he loved that is no longer with me like my dad and my grandparents or he reminds me of dreams he used to have that I had to give up sometimes he’s disappointed as to how things turn out and he asked me the question how come things turn out this way and it’s painful because I don’t have the answers but I’m grateful for having that pain because that pain tells me that I still care that I still care about the people that I loved and lost that I still care about having dreams and working towards those dreams I think my happiness will stop the day that I stop caring

Date: 2024-02-19
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7337199765307854087?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 236

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Date: 2024-02-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336885586864655634?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 12 Making TikTok videos at meals #journal#mistakes #gratitude

if you’re enjoying a meal with family or friends and you pull out a phone to make a TikTok video is that a mistake? this is Mistake Journal entry Day 12 so today I had a meal with a few friends who came over and at one point I thought of something about the oysters I was eating and I thought it was good idea to make a short TikTok video is it a mistake to pick up my phone and record that video there’s a few things about this situation that tells me it’s a good thing to do first of all all of us have been taking photos and videos of food and of each other throughout the throughout the meal and at the point that I’m talking about they had stepped away from the table temporarily uh they they used to me making TikTok videos in front of them in the past um and I wasn’t including them in the the video and what i was shooting was a positive and healthy message so all these things tells me is good that I do it but there actually issues on the other side that tells me it was a mistake to do it for instance here I am sharing time with a set of people and suddenly I’ve emotionally left the scene and gone off to do something else and I was talking into talking to my phone so there is um there’s also a big difference between the videos that we were shooting previously where it was all private it was about food and things that we share with in our family and friends versus this one which was a public TikTok video so all these things tells me it was actually a mistake um anyway so this is quite similar to this situation and expectations regarding phone ringing so it used to be I remember not too long ago when you would expect when you’re sharing private time with people that you don’t answer your phone these days we expect to have a phone and we expect phone to ring and when the phone rings we answer it so so with this situation what we did then was that we talked about it and we had laugh about it and uh we get to all share in terms of what our expectation is and some people thought that is good for me to do it and they like the TikTok that I do and some of them were a bit hesitant but it’s still fine for me to to go ahead and do it but the the important thing is that we all talked about it and we get to share what our expectations are so that we can actually manage that in the future and I think in situations like this is hard to say whether it was a mistake or not a mistake but the important thing I thought the thing that I learnt from it is to ask initially that when the ambiguous situations like this to ask and to talk through it to focus on the relationship of the people in front of me and to communicate so that was my reflection for today about mistake potential mistake I hope you found that useful

Date: 2024-02-18
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336882506437823752?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 135 – Oysters #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for oysters do you know how oysters make pearls so what happens is that a foreign object enters the shell of the oyster and it creates an irritation and so the oyster coats it to smooth it out and protect itself and after many layers this coating becomes a beautiful pearl so whenever I have whenever I have oysters I’m always grateful that it reminds me of this that I can either get myself stuck bitching about something that irritates me or I can move on like the oyster and make a beautiful pearl from it

Date: 2024-02-18
URL:
Smile day 235

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Date: 2024-02-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336453940742999303?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 11 Juggling balls in the air #journal #mistakes#gratitude

today’s mistake that I like to share is about balancing how many balls we keep in the air as we juggle life these days there’s so many choices on things to do and so many people deal with that lot of times it’s not clear whether we made a mistake with our choices so this conventional advice of recognising a mistake and then correcting it a lot of times is not so straightforward to apply do you ever have that feeling that you can’t be sure whether you made a mistake with your choices or not so what happened with me this morning is since I got up I’ve been catching up on work that I left undone last night mostly around media production and marketing and some messages to people now 2 in the afternoon and I have to decide whether I keep going the red flag that tells me that this morning was a mistake is that when I stop to think what I really want to do the stuff that I enjoy I want to do my normal Saturday laundry and then cook lunch so I don’t have kids to cook for today but I really want to cook lunch instead of doing frozen meal or takeaways but what did instead was work that our reflection were non urgent and I was just mindlessly doing that while breaking my normal routine so that usually tells me it’s a mistake and I have too many balls in the air and I’m just keep juggling them for the sake of preventing them from dropping onto the ground so what I’m going to do now is go on to what I should have done which is I’m gonna cook lunch and um then I’m going to do my laundry and if in the later in the evening I have time I’ll review some of these uh the media work and also uh some of my other stuff to see what to prioritize and if I don’t get around to doing that review for that work then these non urgent stuff a lot of times will sort itself out if I just stop juggling so that’s the lesson for me this morning that to look up for signs of breaking healthy routines for mindless non urgent work and to have the courage to let balls that we … that I’m juggling drop

Date: 2024-02-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336452226879098119?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 134 – Textures #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for textures of the floor and the walls everything around us even simple things like in my kitchen here the sponge or this piece of chux how intricate the textures are reminds me that the world is full of colours and shapes and light and shadow and different responses to touch and our senses reminds me of the wonders that’s in the world around me if I stop and look

Date: 2024-02-17
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7336450924585422087?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 234

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Date: 2024-02-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336075523493285138?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 10 Oversharing #journal #mistakes #gratitude

today’s mistake is about oversharing I was telling someone at morning tea this morning about my day and I was rambling for a while before I realised she wasn’t listening if you haven’t worked out I like to share and on social media people like you who are watching my videos you have a choice if you don’t like what I share you can scroll past or you can unfollow me or block me but in face to face communication people sometimes don’t have that choice when you’re sitting together so I have to do some more work to listen and attune to make sure I’m communicating with people that I’m physically with the good thing about making mistake like that in face to face communication that you can’t do on social media is that I can apologize which I did and have a laugh about it and turned that into a light hearted moment so we worked out in the future if she’s turned off then she can do things like turn her cup upside down to indicate she’s switched off so can do things like that cause so mistakes like that can turn into opportunities to communicate

Date: 2024-02-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7336070426365414664?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 133 – Writing #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for the ability to write the act of dragging a pen or pencil across a page and these interesting scribbles starting to appear I can see my thoughts and imagination magically appearing it’s amazing

Date: 2024-02-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7336069330918018311?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 233

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Date: 2024-02-16
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7335688720055602439?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 9 Do you hoard stuff too? #journal #mistakes#gratitude

Date: 2024-02-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7335688536638639368?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 132 – My Garden #journal #gratitude

Date: 2024-02-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7335688187873955080?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 232

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Date: 2024-02-15
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7335370935760981256
Mistake Journal Day 8 – worked up over nothing
#journal #mistakes #gratitude

Mistake Journal Day 8 Today’s mistake started off being someone else’s I was expecting a report and I didn’t get it so I was making a big deal of it because of the inconvenience until I stopped and I remembered that it was a report I asked for for my own curiosity and there were no consequences for me getting it late so the mistake turned out to be mine that I was overthinking it and getting myself worked up over nothing the lesson to learn is to evaluate the consequences before getting myself worked up over things that didn’t go right

Date: 2024-02-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7335370042806209800?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 131 – Daily Routines #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for plain boring daily routines when I was young I used to look for excitement at every turn of everyday until I realise there’s no good going through everyday like this you know packed with peaks and troughs it’s better to have most days like this stable with one or two excitement today I had a boring routine day with a bit of excitement when I went to the river and had a cold drink I’m grateful for today this journal is part of my boring daily routine I appreciate you sharing in my day and I hope for a boring routine day for you too

Date: 2024-02-14
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7335368867130199314?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 231

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Date: 2024-02-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7335001352252214546?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 7 – action to change #journal #mistakes #gratitude

Mistake Journal Day 7 the best thing about every mistake is the recovery yesterday I put in this journal my mistake with buying milk when I already had milk in my fridge I appreciate those of you who were kind enough to share your thoughts on what I can do with the milk so anyway I wanna share with you that I made baked custard here it is it’s yummy and the sweetest taste comes from the fact that you reached out to help so thank you as for today’s mistake unfortunately it’s the same as yesterday’s I went out to the shops and picked up some ingredients for this custard and when I got home and started with the recipe I found I had no sugar I usually have sugar in my pantry so I didn’t bother checking so I go back out and get this packet of sugar so the biggest thing to learn I think from yesterday and today is that just because I wish for change and I recognise the that I need to make a change doesn’t mean that a change will happen I have to do something about it so at the shops the second time I bought a pack notepad so I can start a process of checking supplies and noting them you can be by mistake police and check my future journal entries whether I messed up again thank you again see you in the next journal entry

Date: 2024-02-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7334999187106368786?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 130 – Sheds #journal #gratitude

today I’m grateful for sheds so that I have somewhere to put my garden tools and power tools and I don’t have to bring them into the house just imagine if the power tools and the garden tools were all over the house just what a mess that would be I always have a thought that it’ll be good to have a shed for bad days so that when I have bad day I can leave the bad day in the shed and will have to bring it into the house I’m working on that thought

Date: 2024-02-13
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7334997998742621448?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
SMile day 230- Baked custard

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Date: 2024-02-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7334606531876490503?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 6 – check your supplies before going groceries shopping!

today’s mistake involves buying milk just bought one from the shops only to come home and discover that I already have milk there’re some activities that require some planning and grocery shopping is one of them that’s my lesson for today

Date: 2024-02-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7334598633934818567?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 129 – Rain

I’m grateful for rain and how it nourishes the earth and sustains life and you can hear how happy even the birds are

Date: 2024-02-12
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7334598277502913799?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 299

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Date: 2024-02-11
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7334245160869530888?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 5

Mistake Journal Day 5 Today’s mistake that I want to share with you is I was at a gathering and there was this guy who I just met a few weeks ago but I couldn’t remember his name so I had to go about avoiding him for a bit until I found one of my friends who did remember his name and you know how I know that that’s a mistake it’s because as I was talking to him he then ask me for the name of one of my friends because he couldn’t remember the name sometimes we go about this round about ways of doing things so the lesson for this video is if you’ve forgotten somebody’s name then probably they forgotten yours so just ask

Date: 2024-02-11
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7334244074343517458?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 128 – Breathing

today I’m grateful for breathing it brings in oxygen and sustains my life but more than that breathing changes my experiences sometimes when I’m with my loved ones and nothing’s happening I count my breath and a minute of idleness turns into moments of bonding sometimes when there’s a big problem and I’m nervous or confused I count my breath and the thinking becomes clearer and the problem becomes smaller I’m grateful for what breathing brings

Date: 2024-02-11
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7334241086686104839?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile day 288

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Date: 2024-02-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333866105414405383?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 4

today’s mistake and the lesson I learnt that I want to share with you is the mistake of staying up too late last night cleaning the house so Chinese New Year there’s always an endless amount of things to do and one of the things is that you’re not supposed to clean the house when New Year comes along because if you do then you sweep all of your good luck away for the rest of the year so you supposed to do it before New Years and guess what I was doing last night rushing to clean the house before New Year came along so it was a mistake because then I woke up in not a good frame of mind to do things like interact with family friends and celebrate so the lesson I learnt is that sometimes there are things that are important things like people and relationships and if there are some dirty corners or some mess at parts of the house and why does that matter so that’s the lesson that I learnt today

Date: 2024-02-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333861240890084626?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 127 – Celebrations

today I’m grateful for celebrations my primal brain by default looks for things to fear and criticize so when I see a chance to cherish and to celebrate especially with others I take it today is the first day of Chinese New Year and I’m grateful for the chance to celebrate with family friends and community and to tap into the meaning of the celebration to all of us

Date: 2024-02-10
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7333858982722850055?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 277

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Date: 2024-02-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333500217683168520?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 3

today’s mistake is getting this little paper cut I was removing this document from underneath a big pile of paper and I could already feel the finger cutting against a sheet but I decided to yank it out anyway ended up having this little cut so the lesson to learn is that I’m not Superman and sometimes taking the time to do things in the right order like removing a big pile before removing something from underneath it is worth the time to save some pain down track

Date: 2024-02-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333498778462244114?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 126 – Dark Clouds

it’s about to rain I want take this chance to share with you today’s gratitude which is for Dark Clouds I know that’s a strange thing to be grateful for but Dark Clouds tells us about what is about to come tells us we need to prepare and give us a chance to prepare the best thing about dark clouds is that behind it is always the Sun that never goes away I’m grateful that if we manage our time through the storm the storm always passes and sun always comes back thank you for sharing today’s gratitude with me

Date: 2024-02-09
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333494603607264520?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 266

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Date: 2024-02-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333160795418742024?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistake Journal Day 2

Date: 2024-02-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7333157227731160338?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 125

this evening I’m grateful for fishes see how they always swim forwards and never move backwards and they swim around and they always find their own space never running into each other I’m grateful for what we can learn by watching fishes

Date: 2024-02-08
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7333155707287571719?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 255

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Date: 2024-02-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7332764090424642824?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Mistakes Day 1

mistake journal day 1 Today I made a mistake of going too long before I had my lunch and then my body started getting weak and I started making mistakes and I started thinking bad of people I started to react grumply to people around me so the lesson I learnt is don’t fight the body it needs nutrition

Date: 2024-02-07
URL : https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7332763547446873352?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 124

today I’m grateful for mistakes and the recovery from mistakes and it is from those recoveries that the beautiful things in my life are built I imagine if I never make mistakes every that everything I do turns out exactly as I planned nothing ever goes wrong how boring and sterile life would be so in that spirit I’m going to start from today a mistakes journal where every day I record a mistake and what I learn from it watch out for that

Date: 2024-02-07
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7332762734888537362?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 244

Date: 2024-02-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7332446682199723272?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 123

tonight I’m grateful for the music of Tracy Chapman she gave a live performance at the Grammys yesterday first live performance in a long time her first album came out when I turned 18 shows how old I am I’m grateful that her music continues to inspire and resonate with people across generations and her message of hope and resilience and social justice continue to be as relevant today as it ever was I’m grateful that music has that power and can do that

Date: 2024-02-06
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7332444300732681480?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

SMile Day 233

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Date: 2024-02-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7332013732547153159?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 122

Date: 2024-02-05
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7332012805635230983?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

S,mile Day 222

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Date: 2024-02-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/video/7331710037020200199?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Gratitude Day 121

today I’m grateful for my home for the warmth the comfort the love and the vibe that brings to my life

Date: 2024-02-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7331708209507486984?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305
Smile Day 211

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Date: 2024-02-04
URL: https://www.tiktok.com/@growingwithleong/photo/7331415460191227144?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7523093454889420305

SMile Day 220

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